Episode 32: “Closing Tabs”

In today’s episode, “Closing Tabs,” we unpack how to stop living overwhelmed and start living intentional. Mandy breaks down 5 Hot Takes on mental clutter, boundaries, body signals, spiritual clarity, and sustainable pace—so you can take back your peace, your energy, and your purpose. This episode is your mindset reset to help you close the tabs that drain you and live as the Change Chaser God designed you to be.

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 Once a week, do a “spiritual reset.”

Ask these 3 questions:

1.         What am I carrying that God never asked me to?

2.         What am I avoiding that God is nudging me to face?

3.         What can I release so I can walk in peace and clarity?

Closing tabs is holy work.

Faith in Action // Change in Motion

Transcript

0:21

Well, hey sweet friends. Welcome back to the Change Chasers podcast, where we chase growth, chase purpose, and chase the version of ourselves that God is calling us to become. I'm your host, Mandy, and today's episode is called Closing Tabs. If you've ever felt overwhelmed, mentally tired, physically drained, or even spiritually stretched, then hey, this one is for you because y'all, I do really think that most of us have either or are currently walking around. With way too many tabs open on our phones, in our minds, on our computers, in our hearts, and also in our schedules. We've got a lot going on, right? A whole lot of things that most of us are juggling. And as a change chaser, I am grateful to be able to speak into real talk, real life, real living type of stuff, right? So today we're going to be talking about how to stop being controlled by what drains you and start taking back your peace, your power, and your purpose. So y'all, let's dive right on in. Hot take number one. Mental tabs are the new clutter. You know how you can have 27 internet tabs open and your browser starts moving slower and slower and slower, and it's buffering and it's glitching, and then all of a sudden it's frozen. Have you ever stopped and thought about that? Your brain does the same thing. We keep mental tabs open, such as conversations that we need to, have you ever had that moment where you're like, oh, I need to call such and such, or I need to set up a coffee date with this person, or I need to circle back because Overthinker Anonymous here, right? We are thinking about, Ooh, did they? Take that in that context, because I'm in it this way. I mean, there are conversations that can bombard us in our minds, right, of conversations that we need to have or we may need to extend out. There are decisions that keep postponing, right? We just keep on postponing, oh, I'll do that. I'll get around to it. You know, and then we keep lingering in our thoughts of, oh, okay, I, I need to get back to that. Right? So we keep decisions being postponed and then also emotional situations that can absolutely. Drain us. That's real, right? There are different things that kind of come in and snatch our peace and our joy, and then that can hijack our purpose because we get all caught up in some emotional situations that just flat out drain us. And then there's also the thought process. There's some guilt about what we didn't finish. Hmm. I don't think I'm probably flying solo on that one. Right? I mean, there's, there's times in our life that we feel guilty because we just didn't get to that task or that volunteer opportunity. Or even worse, if you told somebody that you're going to do something and then you. Do not have the time and it just falls through and y'all, that guilt is real. And so I think that also makes me think about people pleasing. I've people pleased a lot in my life, and I'm sure you have as well, that people pleasing also has kind of some stress that's attached to it because we make some commitments that. Man, it can also get us bogged down. And then there's the tab that we have open about the pressure to be on all the time. And so thinking about those examples of tabs, I'm sure that you've got some open tabs in your mind as well that you can add to that list. We could probably go 20 deep. And not even turn around in our chair once, right? I mean, it's just kind of real talk stuff that we all have endured. We have went through the mental exhaustion that happens whenever we have so many things, so many people, so many spaces, just so much that can make us have that tab, open that tab, open that tab, open that tab open for the task that are awaiting our attention. And so I truly do believe that most of our exhaustion isn't physical. I think it's mental clutter, and so thinking about mental clutter and how real that it is, and knowing that it can be what comes all up in our business and hijacks our peace and our day, and how we're just able to navigate our next steps. And so in this episode, I wanted to kind of give some opportunities to think about some mindset shifts that can take place. And so instead of saying, I'm overwhelmed, maybe we can start saying things such as, whew. Okay. Snap, crackle, pop. I am really realizing right now that I need fewer tabs open. You know, and so the overwhelm, if you're feeling that way, your chest starts to beat. I mean, you might even have chest pains. Your cortisol levels feel really amped up. You might even get headaches because you are trying to do so much in a 24 hour day period that you're living like it's 36 hours and you're just cramming so many things in. Right? So maybe you should give yourself some grace and to say, okay. Reality is that I need fewer tabs open. And also knowing that most overwhelm is, it's not about capacity, it's about lack of closure. And so some of us are high capacity individuals. Praise God for that. That really is a gift and a talent that you're able to do a whole lot of things and juggle a lot of different things and spaces to where you bring a lot of value to a team, or especially if you're working an event or something and you're able to be the five steps ahead type person. Man, that's a high capacity guy or gal. And it's really a gift if you can operate that way. But I do think that our over realm isn't necessarily about capacity. It's about lack of closure. And so putting into practice as a change chaser is just this thought. What if you write down every open tab on your mind right now? And so maybe if you're not driving and you're sitting at a space, maybe grab a, you know, a little sheet of paper, a napkin, and just write down every open tab, everything that's kind of lingering in your thoughts about what is on your mind right now. And as I take a moment to kind of pause, if you're thinking about doing that, and then hit pause on the episode and then come back and join in. But also you're driving, then walking, whatever it is, you're doing something in action and you can't stop and even think about this process. But I'm sure easily each of us can think of three things. You got an open tab about right now that your mind is like, Ooh, yep. Mm-hmm. Open tab there. I need to make sure I do laundry later today. I've got to run and get your son or daughters, whatever Christmas gift for their teacher. I mean, as I'm saying, this episode, it's almost Christmas. We're a couple weeks out. Here in the United States. And so I don't know. I know we've got some international listeners and you may not practice out the same, you know, Christmas to dos like here in America, but it's quite commercialized and there's a lot of hustle and bustle in our season of life that we are. Living in right now, but thinking about the open tabs, whatever they are for you, I'm sure, like I said, you can easily just boom, boom, boom. Think of three, you know, two, three. That's, um, probably draining you. And so stopping and thinking about that process of what is taking your peace. What's snatching your present moment mentality of being where your feet are? And so as a practice, as a change chaser, I do wanna encourage you, challenge you, however you wanna view it. Whatever motivates you the most is to take one small action step today to close out that tab or to clarify it. Because in that process of thinking through that one closed tab can equal instant mental peace. I was, uh, listening or watching a reel the other day, y'all, and it was really enlightening. I really appreciated it because it actually led to me doing some research and my degree is actually in psychology, so I kind of nerd out at how and why the brain and the way that we do things and the processing and the way that we think about things. But in this reel the other day. This lady said that she keeps a notebook laying on her nightstand, and she also has a pen there. And she said that if she's trying to fall asleep at night, that she will be very intentional to jot down everything that her brain tells her that she must do. So instead of tossing and turning and staying awake for all hours of the night. She said that she grabs her pen, she grabs her little notebook and she writes down the thing that is keeping her awake and puts it on the list. And then she said that she can go to sleep. And I thought, that is so cool. So I started researching it and I thought, okay, I know that's gotta be, you know, some subconscious acts of an action signal that it's most likely like the process of letting your brain know that Hey, we got this right. You can slow your roll just a bit. So as I was going through and. Reading a little bit about it. It is actually, it does say that it gives your brain a signal that reduces mental tension. And so it's saying to your brain, Hey brain, this is stored this. To do that, you need to do this tab that is lingering open, right? It's buffering, it's keeping you awake at night or preventing you from being where your feet are with your family, your friends, or have you ever even watched a movie and then you're like. I have no idea what's happened because your thoughts go somewhere else. Shoot fire y'all. Have you ever gotten in the car and driven somewhere and when you got to your destination you're like, oh my gosh, I don't even remember how I got here. Or you don't even remember the last 15 minutes of your drive because your brain was thinking about. Something else, a whole other story or scenario where maybe you were in the Overthinkers anonymous moment and you're replaying a conversation that happened earlier in the day or two days before, and it's just driving you nuts because you got that tab open in your brain, right? And so as I was researching it, I learned that it is a psychological phenomenon and it's called the zieger neck. Effect. It's where your brain keeps unfinished task open. It's kind of like the visual of you have open tabs on your computer, right? Making it harder for your mind to stop functioning at the same operational level as you do when you are up and you are at'em when you are vertical and when you're trying to slay the day and doing all the things that require your time, your attention, your talents, and your treasures. And so the process of writing tasks that pop in your mind. Day in and day out all throughout, right? I mean, y'all, that's pretty awesome because it can help you to be able to do the, the actionable step that's called cognitive offloading. And so writing things down helps free up mental space immediately is what statistics say, and people who study the brain and psychologists people are way smarter than I am, but I know that this simple little task and this actionable step that if I do this as well. Yo, I'm living, breathing, like truth example of it works. Because we're able to cognitively offload whatever it is that is taking up this space in our minds that might be kind of bogging us down in the moment. And so doing this actionable step is also gives yourself the gift within your working memory to be able to kind of get permission, so to speak, to say, Hey, you get to rest. This last episode, I actually talked about linger longer well, y'all, a good way to do that is to close out tabs, and a way we can close out the tabs is to simply, like I said, grab your little notebook of pen, have it somewhere, wherever you are. I would recommend doing the writing part because it actually also uses the actual step with your brain to be able to have the process of, Hmm, we're eliminating this.'cause I think if you grab your phone and you go to your notes and your phone, it's handy dandy and we most always have our phone with us If you're like me. Sometimes you'll go and you'll write that in, and then you're like, mm, lemme check this email, or let me text this person back, or Let me just get on Instagram. And before you know it, you're 17 reels deep and it's midnight. And so that might not be your, your smartest yes in using your phone for your list, but by all means you do whatever works for you. But I do wanna encourage you to take the actionable step of writing down whatever it is. That's bogging down your mind in the moment so that you can give your working memory a gift of having permission to be able to rest hot. Take number two. Overwhelm isn't a time problem. It's a boundary problem. And I would say with that, I think most people will say things such as, I don't have enough time. I'm so busy. I'm stretched too thin. I remember I used to work with this awesome lady that had some really funny sayings and one of them was, I'm spread thinner than mayonnaise. And so, um, if you don't like mayonnaise and that groceries you out, sorry. But you know, it, mayonnaise it's thin, it spreads out just fine on, on some bread for your ham sandwich. But you know, sometimes reality of it is of whatever expression that you do use, we can say things that. Make us do feel like, man, we, we got a lot going on, and we can be really overwhelmed. But here's the truth. You don't need more time. You need stronger boundaries because every tab open represents something that has access to your mental energy. Boundaries are the locks on your internal doors, so to speak. Stopping and thinking about as a change chaser. I'm hopeful, given you the gift of this mindset shift today is that you think about asking yourself every morning, okay, maybe this thought process or word it however you want to, but this is what I've started doing, is just asking myself each morning, what gets access to me today and what doesn't. And even you could go to from the what to the who. Who gets access to me today and who doesn't because when everything is urgent, then nothing is important. I'm gonna say that again. What gets access to me today and what doesn't? Who gets access to me today and who doesn't? Because when everything is urgent, nothing is important. Maybe that'll give you some little things to just stop questions to ask yourself. And then a little nugget of thinking, man, if everything is urgent, if it's red, alert, hot topic, gotta gotta go. All of the things. What really is labeled out in my boundary of importance? What do I protect? What am I giving my time, my talent, and my treasures to? But then also as a change chaser, I think we can put into practice. That we can choose one boundary to strengthen us this week. Right? One actionable step. So an example of a boundary that we could try to set for ourselves this week is maybe you can say, I'm not gonna respond to texts after 8:00 PM. Mine is actually 9:00 PM I try to practice that as much as possible. So for you, whatever time it is, maybe you're gonna set that boundary, like, Hey, I'm gonna slow my role, I'm, I'm not texting back. Like you can wait till the next morning. Right. Or maybe you give yourself the gift if you have the option to do so. One slow morning per week. Or maybe even you say, okay. This is not bad to say friends, and I'm telling you, I'm, I've been putting this in the practice more and more throughout 20, 25 because I'm trying to grow as I'm going as well, right? And these things that I'm on here blabbering about with y'all, hopefully adding value to your life, but being, um, teachable time for you. I am in the process of learning it or I've been walking through the journey before I start teaching it, and so it's okay to say, let me get back to you instead of saying yes. That's a gift. That's a boundary we can set for ourselves. And then also I think that we can implement the protection of our prayer and our quiet time. I get all caught up sometimes in a quick morning start almost every morning. This week I've had to be out the door by about 6:35 AM I don't know about y'all, but that's early to me. And having to be at a destination by 6:57 AM. Then, you gotta get on the road and you gotta go and it's cold here where I live in Georgia and so. My quiet time's been suffering, just to be honest with you. And so I need to get back in a better balance, a better rhythm on those early mornings. Then obviously, I should either get up earlier to do my quiet time or revisit later in the day, and so maybe you're like me, that you also need to protect your prayer and your quiet time because plugging in. With the king of all kings, father, God is the number one way that we can continue to make it in the hustle and the bustle and all of the things. Additionally, I wanna encourage you and I as well, is that when we guard our boundaries, y'all, we guard our peace. So friend, when you guard your boundaries. You guard your piece, so I hope you'll capture that. Take that in, stick it in your pocket, and walk with it. And going. Boundaries are a blessing. They're not intended to be a burden hot. Take number three. Your body is telling the truth. Listen to it with thinking through that. Your body speaks. Your exhaustion is a message. Your stress is a message. Your tension. Is a message, but many of us ignore our body's notifications, like we ignore phone reminders. Maybe that'll get you to stop and think about are you paying attention to what your body is saying? I know there's a book out there that's titled Your Body Keeps the Score, and so as a result of all of the things that people end endure in life, be it childhood trauma or adulthood stress or, or just all of the things that happen, your body keeps the score and it is linked to all different types of physical and mental. Systems that, or struggles, I should actually say, tough stuff that people go through because your body keeps the score. And so our mindset shift that we could embrace though as a change chaser is instead of judging your tiredness, get curious about it. So instead of judging your tiredness, get curious about it. Ask, what is my body trying to tell me? Because tired doesn't always mean lazy. Y'all tired does not always mean lazy. Just'cause you're tired does not mean that you're a lazy person. So please don't let anyone ever tell you that. I think that sometimes tired means you're carrying too much. Sometimes tired means you're over committed. Sometimes tired means you're under rested. Sometimes tired means you're emotionally overloaded. Sometimes tired means you're spiritually depleted. Thinking about a positive change chaser practice is what if you decide that you're gonna pick one daily rhythm to support your body. An example of that is what if you implement that you're gonna do a 10 minute walk outside. Eating protein before you drink coffee? I don't know. I mean, protein can kind of help balance out, you know, your gut health, which is 80% of your immunity. We know that if, if you study up any way of trying to make sure that you have a better balance to keep your body happy and healthy and, um, so. If you're trying to look for that again, I mean, hey, go, go study out your immunity. 80% of your immunity is in your gut health, so how can you balance that out better? Well, also, magnesium is one that you can do to support your body. Go research that. It's super awesome. I know I'm not a medical doctor, not claiming to be just saying, these are some things that I've done that have helped me. But also what if you say, Hey, you know what? I'm gonna support my body by a two minute breathing reset. Break in mid-morning at 10:00 AM whatever it is, stretch before you go to bed. That can be one thing that can support your body. Stretching is one of the things that people have underrated, especially the older we get. I am two pulled back muscles in a couple months ago of telling you shame on me, because that was big time. Ouch. And it was a struggle bus for about three weeks of trying to overcome those pulled back muscles. Well, had I stretched really, really well. Before I started lifting something and been smarter in the, the way that I lifted them, you know all the things, right? We overdo and we stress our bodies out that before we know it, unfortunately, we can injure injury. Also, another way that we can support our body is a change chaser practice is maybe you take a one hour weekly Sabbath or a moment, surely you can find one hour, somehow some way to be able to slow your role. To be able to maybe do nothing, even y'all, maybe just to, um, if it's good weather and you wanna sit outside in the sunshine, gets that dopamine rush coming your way. As you get the serotonin from the sunshine, get your vitamin D up. That way your body can be more regulated. And when your body is more regulated, it is proven that your mind gets clear. And when your mind gets clear, then in my experience, I do believe that. It's almost as though that in the spirit realm. I can hear God more easily. And so those are some things to get you to hopefully stop and maybe allow yourself to have the actionable steps of whatever it is you fill in. Whatever your bullet point idea of what you're gonna try to do for your body, then by all means, I'm excited that you're gonna give that a go and to try to bless your body. With whatever tangible act that you're going to try to set that, that boundary per se, and then also that tangible task that you're realizing that maybe you're caring too much, maybe you're overcommitted, maybe you're under rested, maybe you're emotionally overloaded, or maybe you're spiritually depleted. So how can you try to help yourself to be able to be more regulated? Now, hot. Take number four. Clarity is a spiritual discipline. We often think about spiritual growth as being in prayer, worship, reading the word, and it is, I mean it, it absolutely is, but also I really, truly believe. So is clarity. You know, clarity is a spiritual discipline because it tells us in scripture that God isn't the author of confusion. So if you feel like things are frustrating you in your life, maybe you feel confused, maybe you feel like things are so chaotic, or maybe even the other C word that none of us really like. Cluttered. Mm. I'm working on the clutter in my house, just being real. If you see me out and about and ask me, Hey, how's your decluttering going? Because there's truth in thinking about when we get overwhelmed by stuff or by a big, long to-do list that it can cause chaos in our lives. It can cause some clutter that might unfortunately make us be misaligned spiritually. I think that open tabs create noise. In our episode today, we're talking about closing tabs. Friends, open tabs create noise, and noise creates confusion. And confusion creates disconnection. And so what if we allow our change chaser mindset shift? To be instead of praying for strength to handle more, right? We'll think that, you know, oh goodness, I can do this or I can do that. God, just give me more time in the day or more opportunity to be able to do this or that, or a little bit more money so that I can make all this happen. What if we, instead of praying for strength to handle more y'all, what if we pray for discernment to release what isn't yours, ours, mine. It's just a thought to stop and think about. I say that with love because y'all, that is something I'm walking in instead of praying for strength to handle more than. Maybe I should be praying for discernment to release what isn't mine. Maybe you should too. Maybe that's something that you can ask God. You can say, Hey God, will you show me what is mine to carry and what I need to release? And I know God is faithful and he will. And so a change chaser practice that we can have with this one is to think about once a week maybe, do a spiritual reset, asking yourself these three questions. Number one, what am I carrying that God never asked me to? Number two, what am I avoiding that God is nudging me to face? And number three, what can I release so I can walk in peace and clarity? I'm gonna drop those three questions in the show notes today so that you can go back and screenshot them and be able to ask yourself these, because I do truly believe that closing tabs is wholly work. So giving yourself permission to ask those three questions so that you can do. A powerful spiritual reset, hot take. Number five is that you can't chase change while running on empty. You cannot be who God created you to be exhausted, overwhelmed, and spiritually dehydrated. Change requires energy. Purpose requires energy, and growth requires energy. If the enemy can drain you, y'all, he can distract you. If he can distract you, then he can detour you. And so we have to embrace the mindset shift as a change chaser to stop glorifying being busy. We need to start honoring rest, rhythm, and margin. In our previous episode, I did share one of my life mantras of that. Rest works best when it's a rhythm, not a rescue. Give yourself the gift of building in margin or rhythms so that the rest is a part of your day. Friends, you don't need to do everything. You need to do the things that matter. Maybe you need to hear that today, just to have the practice of giving yourself permission. I would actually say. To be able to have the permission to practice that mentality is that you don't need to do everything. You need to do the things that matter. And so with that, our change chaser practice, our C3 time with our Change chasers challenge on this one is to think about choosing one thing to simplify this month. This month. I didn't say today, I didn't say this week, I said this month, give yourself the grace of trying to implement some of this. Change that you seek to chase, right? By simplifying your morning routine or a weekly, no plans out night or decluttering your physical space. Ding, ding, ding. That's the one I'm working on. But what about also reducing digital noise? Are you scrolling? Or as the cool kids say, doom scrolling, are you spending too much time on your phone? Is there something that you can cut that is draining you mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually? Is there something that you can cut that's a commitment that doesn't make you feel like you're walking in your Y or I will say that maybe. You can also stop and do the cognitive offloading, actionable step of jotting tasks down that are lingering in your mind and preventing you from being mindful in the moment, or getting to rest, or being present with your people. So maybe you need to grab a notepad, jot down those open tab items, then revisit that to-do list when the timing is more appropriate for you to give the gift of your attention. I think that this practice will help you to enjoy what matters most to make meaningful memories with your loved ones, to be a better friend, a better coworker, a better church member, a better parent, a better aunt, uncle, grandparent son, daughter, spouse, teacher, or even a better acquaintance. Because being present with people is a gift. I think it's a gift that, yes, that we give to others, but y'all, I also truly believe that it is a gift that we give ourselves because we cannot be on all the time, which is why it's important to close out the tabs, close out the tabs, every opportunity that we can. So again, our C3 time that I truly hope that you'll embrace and that you will give some time to thinking through what is one thing that you can simplify this month from your mind. What is one thing that you can simplify this month? And so friends with that. I want to almost draw this episode up, tie a bow on it with this process of thinking that as a change chaser. My takeaway for you today is that whenever you simplify your life, you strengthen your purpose. Whenever you simplify your life, you strengthen your purpose. Sweet friends, as we close out today, I do want to give these few reminders is that you are not supposed to live overwhelmed. You are not supposed to live exhausted. You are not supposed to carry every open tab. You are designed to live with clarity. Peace and purpose. So today as I close out, I give you permission to close the tabs, quiet the noise, and protect what God is doing in you. Take back your peace. Take back your energy and take back your purpose. And as always, let's keep chasing change and living with purpose. Goodbye sweet friends.