The Seven Primal Questions Series: AM I SECURE?

Money. Stability. Predictability. Planning.

For some people, life becomes a constant pursuit of security. In this episode, Mandy unpacks the primal question “Am I Secure?” and explores how childhood experiences around finances, uncertainty, and instability shape adult behavior. Learn how God provides a security that circumstances never can.

Key Scripture: Matthew 6:25-34

FREE ASSESSMENT: https://primalquestion.typeform.com/to/DmcABGY6?typeform-source=www.primalquestion.com

Faith in Action // Change in Motion

Transcript

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Well, hello friends. Welcome back to the Change Chasers podcast. Y'all, I am pumped and excited for another episode with our Seven Primal Questions series. This week, we will be doing episode two of this series with the question of, am I secure? And so obviously, as we continue to pursue growth and purpose and transformation by way of faith and action, we'll jump right on in for this podcast. I am your host, Mandy, and today, y'all, we will continue on, as I said, that Seven Primal Question series. It is from the book and the work by Mike Foster. If you'd like to go purchase the book, it is really wonderful. I recommend that you get it. It is a great resource and a great tool as you continue to embrace the idea of self-growth and continuing to understand yourself a little bit better and a little bit more of why you do what you do. So last week, we explored the question of, am I safe? And so today, we will be just, just diving right on in to question number two of, am I secure? And I will say that I believe that I think at first glance, safety and security, I do recognize that they may seem like they're the same thing, but I have definitely learned in life that they're actually... They're different, and I've learned it from studying as well and doing this content. As I'd shared in the last episode, I've been revisiting this primal question. I do it every, beginning of every June because, you know, I just always wanna grow and I wanna see, like, how I'm evolving and how I'm growing, and just to see am I still operating out of my same primal question, and three out of four years, I have been. Three of those years, my question has been, as we discussed in week one, am I safe? And then one year, last year, it was am I secure? And so recognizing that you might be listening and thinking, "Mm, those are the same thing", they're actually, they're actually pretty different. Uh, safety ask, "Am I protected?" And security ask, "Can I depend on what I have? Can I trust that there will be enough?" So for many people, this question becomes the hidden force, as the book talks about, in driving their decisions, their relationships, their finances, work habits, and even their faith. And so, you know, maybe that's you. Maybe you have- Found yourself worrying about money and have a scarcity mindset possibly. Maybe you're constantly thinking about worst case scenarios. Maybe you have a difficult time resting because your mind is always planning, preparing, and trying to stay one step ahead. Maybe you operate out of the fear of waiting on the next, as the expression may say, shoe to fall. Or maybe you've worked really incredibly hard to build a life where you never have to struggle the way that you saw your family struggle as you were growing up. So if any of those questions or thoughts resonate with you, then I do really truly believe that today's conversation may reveal something important about your own story, and hopefully be helpful to you. Uh, so in thinking through, letting you know a little bit more about the primal question of: Am I secure? People that have the primal question, as you'll read the book and go through, is known as PQ2, is that your core fear is not having enough money or relational resources to protect themselves. Um, primal gift is that people who are operating out of a security, am I secure thought process, that You kind of folks that if this is your PQ2, your primal question, then these folks make great providers and great partners by building stable environments. At their best, they are generous, aware of others' financial needs, and prioritize relationships. They are often methodical, trustworthy, and grounded in practicality. Their kryptonite, though, is financial instability. So that if you are not feeling secure, then man, that is your kryptonite. That's what will keep you awake at night. Your primal truth statement is, "I am secure." So we're supposed to replace the question of "Am I secure?" with the primal truth statement of saying, "I am secure." Your primal avoidances will be that you fixate on hoarding money and possibly even controlling people. And the idea of rewording the question in another way is to say, "Do I have enough or will I run out?" And so that gives you a little bit of overview of thinking about how folks who operate out of the am I secure operate. And so as we jump on in with knowing a little bit of what the book says, I will say that, um, I think about, you know, where this primal question does come from, that as most of the primal questions, they do begin forming in early childhood. And I've shared with you guys before that childhood, that is the roughest hood that I've ever lived in, and that might be your story too. I hope not. But for those that have the primary question of am I secure, there was often some kind of instability connected to resources, finances, consistency, or even predictability. Maybe your parents fought about money. Maybe there was never quite enough. Maybe bills piled up on the counter. Maybe bills went unpaid. Maybe you remember hearing conversations about layoffs or debt or foreclosure or just financial stress. You may have been in the store and heard often, "No, we can't get that because we can't afford it." Um, perhaps though your situation wasn't even financial at all. That could be the possibility as well. Maybe your home life, though, was unpredictable. Maybe promises weren't kept. Maybe people came and went, and maybe life felt uncertain, and you learned very early on that things could change in an instant. I do really believe that it is all circumstantial, that as children, that reality is that we don't always... well, really hardly ever do we have the ability to process the experiences that we go through like we do as adults. Uh, our brain is formed, um, all the way up takes to age 25 for our, our brain to fully develop, and so our deductive reasoning skills with our frontal lobe, it, it takes a bit of time. And so it can get confusing whenever we're younger, right? And, and so knowing that sometimes instead our hearts might quietly begin to ask questions such as, "Can I count on life? Can I trust that there will be enough? Will there ever be enough?" And then even asking the question just as the statement says, "Am I secure?" Um, many of us might spend years trying to answer all of those questions. And so talking through this primal question with you guys that some of you may, you might even be picking up what I'm putting down, and some of these signs you might be recognizing that, „Ooh, this is revealing so much about how I navigate life, uh, that I'm kinda seeing, like man, I see myself in some of these thought processes," is those who your primal question is, am I secure? Um, some of your first response in situations is that you might be in a constant worry. You may find yourself worrying about situations that haven't even happened yet. You mentally prepare for every possible outcome. You run scenarios through your head. You may ask, "What if?" 100 times a day, not because you're negative, but because you're trying to feel secure. You're seeking that comfort that comes from the security of knowing that you are going to be okay, and that everything is going to be okay, and that everyone depending upon you is going to be okay. And so the second sign Is that you may have difficulty resting. So even when everything is okay, you struggle to relax because there's always one more thing to do. There's one more thing to organize. There's one more thing to prepare for. There's one more thing to save for. And rest can feel irresponsible because your mind is convinced that security is always one step away. And then when I think about the third sign could be, like, an obsession with planning. And so I will say, you know, I hope you'll hear me out, is that I don't think planning is bad, but planning is wise. And when you read through the seven primal questions, it helps us to understand that the problem comes when planning becomes your source of peace, though. When your peace depends on having every detail figured out, when uncertainty causes anxiety because you need to know exactly what's coming next, that's another sign of... Or fear, I guess, would probably be the best way to word it, um, in processing could this be potential loss? Maybe you fear losing money. Maybe you fear losing opportunities. Maybe you fear losing relationships. Maybe you fear losing control. And because of some of those fears, any or maybe you said yes to all of those fears, you may hold tightly to things instead of trusting God with them. And so also the security, the am I secure question, is also connected with the scarcity mindset, and scarcity tells us that statements such as, "There won't ever be enough. There isn't enough. If someone else wins, then I lose. If I give, I'll have less. If I trust God, what if He doesn't come through?" Scarcity keeps us living with clenched fist, but faith invites us to live with open hands. The problem, though- With chasing security is, in my personal life, what I have learned is security really is a wonderful thing. I welcome it. It does give me peace. But when security becomes our ultimate pursuit, it becomes an exhausting burden because no amount of money is enough, no savings account is ever large enough, no retirement plan is ever perfect enough. No strategy can guarantee tomorrow. No plan can eliminate uncertainty. Life simply doesn't work that way. The more we try to control every outcome, the more frustrated that we can become when life reminds us that we were never, ever in control to begin with, and y'all, that can get exhausting. Or maybe it's just me, but I have a feeling I'm not flying solo on those feelings. But praise God that I know that feelings are fleeting, but my faith in Jesus is forever. And so I hope that you embrace that heart posture as well, because we can release for peace and also welcome Father God to take control, because when we do that, it truly is where Jesus speaks directly into our fears. What s- Jesus says in scripture about security, out of Matthew 6:25-24, Jesus says, "Do not worry about your life." Okay. All right, Jesus, come on with that challenging statement, right? Because most of us think that worry protects us. We think worry prepares us. We think worry helps us to stay ahead, but Jesus says, "Worry cannot add a single hour to our lives." Now, y'all, that hits me in my feels and also kinda knocks me on my knees just a smidgen because I need that reminder, and I'll be real with you, I need that reminder probably every day, multiple times a day sometimes, is that Jesus says, "Worry cannot add a single hour to our lives." So why do we fret? Why do we get so caught up in all these things? 'Cause reality is we can't control anything, but we do get to control How we allow things to affect us. That is one thing, right? But we can't control our environment, our circumstances. We can try to make good choices and do things that help us to have happier, better, more peaceful lives. But when I think about the fact that Jesus reminds us to not worry, he points us to the birds in scripture. He tells us that the birds don't plant crops, they don't store away wealth, yet God feeds them. Then he points to the flowers. The flowers don't strive, they don't perform, yet God clothes them with incredible beauty. Jesus is teaching something profound. If God faithfully cares for the birds and the flowers, then he says, "How much more will he care for his children?" Y'all, I'm raising a praise of gratitude that I'm one of his children. And so in thinking through that, do we notice that Jesus doesn't promise a life without problems? He doesn't, right? He doesn't promise endless abundance. He doesn't promise everything will always go according to plan. He promises something even better. He promises God's faithful presence, and that's where true security is found. Security isn't found in what we have. The world tells us security comes from what we possess: more money, more success, more influence, more control, more certainty. Yep, I've heard that. I even heard some of that earlier today, right? You probably have as well. That's what the world tells us, but here's the reality and here's the good news. Scripture teaches a different truth. Security isn't found in what we have. Security is, is found, though, in who holds us. So I want you to think about that. Think about the fact that your security is not determined by your bank account. Your security is not determined by the economy. Your security is not determined by your job title. Your security is not determined by your circumstances, and your security, though, however, is determined by your creator, by the unchanging, forever faithful character of Father God. The same God who has carried you through every difficult season, the same God who has provided when you didn't know how things would work out, the same God who has remained faithful week in and week out, even when your faith was weak, W-E-A-K type weak. Mm. That's where security lives. Not in certainty, but in trust Y'all, I've just kind of been thinking about a few other things too that I welcome you to join me in the process of some personal reflection is, let's just maybe be willing this week to think about a moment in your own story, your own personal life when God has provided, right? Like, how have you saw him meet a need? Maybe he's met a need by paying a bill that you didn't know how it was gonna get paid, or maybe it was a job opportunity. Maybe it was an unexpected blessing. Maybe it was strength during a difficult season. Maybe it wasn't necessarily what you wanted, but God still carried you through it. I do truly believe that when we pause and we remember God's faithfulness, our fear begins to lose its grip on us and keep us held in bondage. Instead, we get to remember how good God is, and then our remembrance, I think, is fueled by trust, and I think that trust is what fuels our peace. And so that leads me to our Change Chaser challenge for this week. I wanna encourage you, get a notebook out, a journal, um, use your notes app on your phone, whatever, but I wanna challenge you. Will you please write down three ways, as I had challenged you a moment ago, just to think about a way that God has been faithful to you and how he has provided for you. So I want you to write down three ways that God has provided for you in this past year. That's a whole lot of provision, right? Shouldn't be hard. So three things, easy-peasy to do. I want you to be specific, and I wanna encourage you, don't rush through it. Really reflect on those moments and think about, man, that moment of God's faithfulness is now a memory that has created movement in your life. And so thinking about those moments, to me, it's something to be celebrated. So celebrate. Raise a praise of gratitude. Thank God for those moments, for his faithfulness, and then- I hope that you will choose to squash worry. Send that worry and that fear right on back to hell where it belongs, because I truly do know from living life that worry begins... If it does begin to creep in, y'all, then, man, that can snatch your peace and joy real fast. So tell the enemy to go back to hell where he belongs and proclaim with gratitude, favor, faithfulness, and just telling God, "Thank you, God, for your provision. Thank you for all the ways you provided then, and you're still providing today." I think in doing so, that will help you as well if your primal question is, am I secure? Then I hope that it will help you just to remember that you don't have to carry the weight of tomorrow. As Jesus told us in scripture from Matthew today, Matthew chapter 6, that, you know, the birds don't worry, right? And God always provides provision. So maybe we can, um, learn a little bit just as, you know, the birds had learned that Jesus provided, Father God provided. And so my encouragement to each of us, those of you listening, is that you don't have to control every outcome. You don't have to figure everything out. I wish somebody would've told me that whenever I was younger. The reality is, is the gift that we get to receive for ourselves is that we know that our heavenly Father already knows what we need, and He is faithful. So I hope that in listening to this, you'll be encouraged to trade your worry for trust. That's a pretty good little... I mi- that would make a good T-shirt, wouldn't it? Trade your worry for trust. 'Cause even if you might be caught up in a scarcity mindset, I do hope that you'll exchange your scarcity for gratitude. And also, in doing so, may you discover that your deepest security isn't found in what you can hold onto, but in the God who is holding on to you. Doesn't that sound like a great plan, friends? I hope that you have been encouraged today. As I close out, again, I feel led. I did this with last week's episode, and I don't know, it might be a theme for the Seven Primal Question series, but I feel like, uh, the Lord is leading me to pray over you as we wrap up Am I Secure? part of this series. And so if you will, let's pray. Ah, Father God, we just raise a praise of gratitude for who you are. Father, you are our provider, our sustainer. You are our source of peace. And so right now, I just pray for my brothers and my sisters who are listening, that you will forgive us, Lord, whenever we place our own personal trust or our plans, maybe even getting caught up in possessions or allowing our circumstances to define us. Father, I pray that you'll help us to remember that you are faithful. I pray that you'll teach us to trust you more deeply and rest in your care. I pray that you'll remind us that our security is not found in what we have, but in who holds us, and the who is you. And Father, we are so grateful for you, for you are so faithful, and we just thank you for loving us so much. Help us, Lord, to rest and feel secure in who you are. We pray these things in Jesus' name. Amen. All right, sweet friends, I just wanna say thanks again for joining me on this episode of Change Chasers. I am looking forward to our episode next week, which will be the primal question of, am I loved? And so, until next time, I do hope that we will all keep chasing change and living with purpose. Goodbye, sweet friends.