Badass Parents Lead By Example - Show Them Dont Tell Them.

In this episode, we discuss Leading By Example: Children learn by observing their parents' behavior. Be a positive role model by demonstrating the values, attitudes, and behaviors you want to instill in your child. Show respect, empathy, honesty, and responsibility in your actions, as these qualities will impact your child's development. Second, practice positive discipline: Discipline is essential but should be done positively and constructively. Focus on teaching and guiding rather than punishment. Use positive reinforcement, logical consequences, and problem-solving techniques to help your child learn from their mistakes and make better choices. After all, most lessons in life are caught, not taught. We share insight on what has worked for us and build a long-lasting relationship with our children. Lead by being the most elite version of yourself and watch the world get better around you. STAND FOR IT! 

The change starts with you!

Transcript

Fred (00:00.85)
Alright, what is up guys? This is Fred Castro and Sean Wilbanks bringing you the Stand For It podcast. Two real guys talking about real shit. The good, the bad and the ugly. And just like us, I'm sure you're wondering, what is really going on in our society?

Shawn (00:15.455)
And let's get one thing straight. This is not about left versus right, black versus white, gay versus straight. Our goal is to abolish the divide. It's about being free men and women that stand for our countries and creating change one person at a time, starting with you. It's time to lead or be led. And welcome to the Stand Forward podcast. Mr. Fred Castro.

Fred (00:36.738)
Oh yeah.

What's up my brother?

Shawn (00:41.472)
How was California, man?

Fred (00:43.17)
California is amazing but uh and certain ways. The beach was Beeshen. No it was good. We were there for uh seven days and obviously if you guys follow the 30 day video challenge you get a little glimpse of it. Today is my last day of that which I'm gonna have to give myself a round of applause for doing that. You're on 27 right? Going on 28 today?

Shawn (00:46.775)
I should say how is the beach? You live in California, how is the beach?

Congratulations.

Shawn (01:08.695)
Uh, today's 28 today. Yeah.

Fred (01:11.738)
So, but anyways, yeah, seven days at the beach, that'll clear your mind, but it was overcast and glue me for about half the trip. And then finally the sun came out and you can see my red face in the videos that I got pretty charred, but it was a good time. It was, I think it was much needed. You know, you gotta have some time to decompress. Well, I did do some things in the morning, just keeping up on irons in the fire.

Shawn (01:24.748)
I thought you were disembarrassed.

Sure.

Fred (01:40.482)
It was good to decompress, get to spend some quality time with the family, spend some quality time with my wife, which was amazing, and get to hang out with some good friends, you know, so can't complain. How about you?

Shawn (01:51.055)
Good man. You had a good father's day. Yeah, doing good. Just got back from Utah. Went to go see some of the crew over there and check on some projects that I got. And back in dad mode, which is great. My favorite mode to be in. Dad mode and then business mode. Kind of ties right along with what we're talking about today. But yeah, things are good. Everything's good, man. No complaints.

Fred (02:09.184)
Right?

awesome. Alright, good. So uh, we ready to jump into this bad boy?

Shawn (02:21.127)
And let's talk about some, yeah, let's unpack some stuff. Let's talk about some numbers. We were looking at the numbers for some of our guests. You wanna break some of that down?

Fred (02:32.078)
Yeah, so definitely a good time to do that. We wanted to throw a shout out because the people that we're interviewing are trending extremely well with our audience. And one of the things that we strive to do and we've received DMs from people that follow us on our Instagram page, and then just about keeping it real and authentic. You know, if anything above all else, we believe in being real, authentic, and leading by example. And I think that people resonate and connect with people who are real.

And so are the stories that we tell, the guests that we have on, are hand selected to bring value to our audience. And it's pretty obvious when you see the numbers. So we just had the conservative anthem. And regardless of his sexual preference, this guy is on a mission to right what is wrong. And that's to get our country on track. But within nine days, he skyrocketed to the top. Now, granted, he has a million followers combined on his platforms. But as an amazing guy.

He's making a positive impact on this world and he's looking for this unbiased approach to what's going on, but his core values are in line or their own alignment with what our core values are. And we appreciate him. So he had number one, literally in nine days. The second one is that's trending for our all time numbers is still Keely Bell coming clean, telling his raw honest truth about some of the trials and tribulations, the challenges he's had in.

and his marriage is infidelity, so on and so forth. So that was incredible. And then, um, but show, he came in at a number three and we didn't know this, but he, uh, ended up being on Andy for seller's show, you know, yeah, last week. And, um, you know, the story that he gave us was, you know, packed full of value. And, um, so he's at number three with two weeks running on the show. And so anyways, these people, you know,

Shawn (04:07.447)
Yeah, he was on for sellers podcast last week. Yeah.

Fred (04:25.602)
They all have the common denominator. They're all doing real things, making a real impact and doing, I guess the best way to put it is they're serving others in a way that is, you know, not so dedicated to themselves. Their personal mission and their personal accomplishments they're sharing to inspire others and leading by example. So, I don't know if you have anything else to share with that.

Shawn (04:48.183)
Yeah, I know I think you said pretty much everything you hit it on the head, but I think the biggest takeaway you talked about authenticity and that's one thing that Fred and I are committed to always provide. I don't care if you see us walking down the street, if we're at a conference or seminar and you run into us, you get this on the podcast or what have you, what you see is what you get and we vow and promise to always keep it 100% real and authentic. That's just the way.

my moral fiber is, that's the way Fred's moral fiber is. And that's the cloth we're cut from. I'll speak for myself and I'll speak for you too. I can do that. I know where you stand. Fred and I have zero tolerance for bullshit. Zero tolerance for just fake. And our goal is to bring on people and guests that resonate, that we vibe with, and that can, you know, that exude that...

no bullshit attitude. We want authenticity. So that's our commitment to you. But one of the big takeaways is, you know, those guests that you mentioned, they all have a story. But here's the point. We all have a story. Are you brave enough to tell your story is the big question. And these, these people that you mentioned, Keely, Bishoy, conservative ant, they're brave enough to tell their story. And I think the important takeaway is

Get out from behind that fear, tell your story, and you have no idea how many people you're gonna be able to help. I think that's a huge, huge thing that being authentic and being vulnerable, but also being brave enough to share your truth and your message and your story, you have no idea how many people that could help. So, Bashoy's doing an amazing thing with his weight, his weight loss and his journey and his program and just inspiring and leading, you know, conservative ant.

He's doing amazing things. He's out there fighting for kids and sexual preference. I mean, we say it in our intro. It doesn't matter if you're left, right, black, white, gay, straight. We don't care. What do you stand for? What are your values? So, you know, there's a reason why, and Keely as well, you know, Keely telling them just the raw truth, it resonates with people. So you're always gonna get that with Fred and I and the Stand For It podcast. That's our promise and our commitment to you guys.

Fred (07:11.274)
Yeah. And I wanted to add one more little nugget on there is that if you don't tell the story in your way and your truth, then you leave opportunities for people to have to read between the lines. And so they're going to have a skewed perspective of, of who you are, what you stand for. So just get out and say it. Like Sean and I both are at the tail end of our 30 day, um, video challenges on, on Instagram and Facebook, but

You know, people that I've known for 30 years, they're like, Oh, I had no idea about, you know, that you went through that or you experienced this or this is what your core values are, how much you, you know, just put it in perspective. But when people start to come clean and coming clean is probably the wrong way to put it, but you start to open up and become more vulnerable. You don't need to be a sob. You don't need to be a sob story, but you're going to realize that human connection is what everybody strives for.

Shawn (07:47.652)
Right.

Shine your light.

Fred (08:03.742)
And so once they get a real snapshot of who you are and what you stand for, then things start to change, not only for them, they start to change for you. I think that's probably the biggest lesson in all this. And this 30-day video challenge has been challenging. There's only two questions, and you gotta alternate every other day. How many times can you tell people who you are?

Well, you got to start digging deeper and other than the surface talk of who you are and tell people, you know, what, oh, you know, who am I really? You know? And so it forces you to break just going to the easy, the path of least resistance. That's the best way to put it, you know, because that's the easy answer.

Shawn (08:38.923)
I look at it as this. I look at it as this, sorry to interrupt you. Peeling back the layers. It's like an onion. You literally have to peel back the layers. You get the superficial stuff, get that first couple coatings or layers off. And then as you go on, you start to tell the truth. I don't wanna say tell the truth, but you're starting to tell some deeper, more meaningful shit, if you will. And...

Fred (08:45.006)
right?

Right, exactly.

Shawn (09:04.111)
Just think, if you don't share your story, how important is that? If you don't share your story, you're literally robbing not only yourself, but you're robbing somebody else of a blessing. Because your story could be the story and the breakthrough that person needs. Tell your story. Like, tell your story. You're gonna be judged anyways. Doesn't matter if you're winning or losing, if you're making it or you're broke. You're gonna be judged regardless. So you might as well just tell it like it is.

Fred (09:12.812)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Fred (09:33.482)
Yeah. You know, and thing that also stands out as well, then it kind of goes back to this 30 day challenge is like, how long have we pushed that thing out? We've known about it for years, you know, two, three years, but, uh, you know, you're going to be judged either way. So just do it, grow from it and get the experience because

Shawn (09:41.922)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Fred (09:54.314)
I can tell you one thing, turning the camera on now and doing a video, easy as hell. I don't really give a shit, you know? And I'm granted, you want to have something decent to say, but initially turning the camera on, just looking at your own face and that thing, it's like, Oh my God, I'm never going to be able to do this, but you've got to face your fears. You got to, you got to forge, you know, it's like they say, was it, you know, I don't know, steel strength or sharpened steel

Shawn (10:11.331)
Yeah. Right.

Iron start, iron sharpens iron.

Fred (10:23.762)
iron sharpens iron. That's why I need you here to help keep me on track. I know exactly, but that's how it is though. I mean, so, and you know, there was days along the way where I'm dude, it's late. It's like 10 30 at night and you're pinging me. You're like, dude, get your video done. And I was getting ready to just voluntarily go off the wagon. But instead I just got up one in the backyard, knocked it out. And maybe it wasn't the best video, but it's done. Right.

Shawn (10:28.284)
You're still in beach mode, your brain.

Fred (10:51.782)
And so I didn't break the chain and vice versa, you know, we're there to, to help and help sharpen each other's skills. But if you never just jump in and go, you're never going to do it. It's just the way human nature is. So, um, embrace the suck. Everybody sucks in the beginning. And then, um, watch yourself grow and you'll, you'll be proud of what you've accomplished in that 30 day timeframe. So anybody out there, if you decide to do it, definitely, um, tag us in the videos or in our Instagram, we'd love to.

Love to see your journey on the 30 day video, but jump in, show us what you got going on and let's make shit happen.

Shawn (11:29.735)
That's right. Let's talk about being a kick-ass dad, or a kick-ass parent, I should say. I can only talk about being a father. I can't talk about being a mother, because I'm not one. I've been called, I've been called some stuff, but.

Fred (11:45.053)
Right?

Yeah, you've been called a mother and it, and the second word starts with an F, but we won't mother Fred. They will call it that mother father. Um, but yeah, coming off father's day, you know, we, we wanted to just touch on what it means to be a parent, you know, and specifically a father coming from our perspective. But you know, it's a, it's a dual role. You know, children need mothers and they need fathers.

Shawn (11:53.452)
mother father.

Fred (12:12.318)
and they both hold special places in their hearts. You know, I know my kids are obviously a lot older than yours, but just the feedback we get from them, you know, being 19 and 24 is so different. And mom has a certain place in their heart that with certain lessons and value that they get from her and then vice versa with me on different things. So that balance is so key. You know what I mean?

Shawn (12:36.719)
Absolutely.

Fred (12:37.75)
But yeah, I think this is a good, good time to bring up, you know, what fatherhood means to us and, and share some of the feedback that we received from people that listened to the, to the podcast and follow us on Instagram. We had some great messages come through on what their perspective was of being a, being a father and what it means to them. It was, it was pretty impressive. So Doug Albert is one person that sent us a nice message on there. And I have high respect for him as far as being a father. He was a, he was a good father from day one.

guy goes to the end of the earth for his children. He still is close as today as he was back then probably even closer because his kids are grown like mine. But just an amazing father want to give a shout out to him. Luke Riley is another one. He's got a young daughter, you know, and they have it took an act of God to get her and they're so blessed. And you can tell when they talk about their daughter or they post, you know, she's a blessing in their life. And, you know, he strives and his wife, they both strive to be the best

Shawn (13:30.532)
Right.

Fred (13:37.624)
can be and they've sent us, you know, before we put the message out, they were, they were pinging us before that saying, we love your perspective on, on raising children. So anyways, um, there was a few others out there. Um, we won't go down the list of all of them, but we just want to give it two shouts out cause those guys submitted some, some pretty good nuggets in there that we'll cover here today. So right.

Shawn (13:58.663)
Well, and shout out to all the good parents out there outside, you know, the two that you mentioned because there's some amazing people in the world some amazing parents and there's some shitty ones too and I think the goal is to be the best version of yourself That that's the importance of focusing on self, right? Especially being a father. I Have two little humans that are that are dependent upon me and if I don't show up and I am on my a game

Why do they deserve to get scraps? Right? Our kids are gonna get what we give them. So it's my job to give them the best version of me, the best version of Sean, the best version of the dad that I can be to show up every day for myself. That way I can pour into these little girls. But I know there's some amazing parents in the world and it's just important that you continue to rise and step up. So.

I think that, uh, you know, what, what are, what makes a good parent? What makes a good father? And it's not what you give them. It's not what you buy them. It's not where you take them. It's what you pour into them. And it's how you lead is the way that I see it. Um, I asked somebody told me this, or I read this somewhere. Um, it's up to me to give them what I needed at that age. What was I lacking?

Or what did I need when I was five or six years old? And where they're at, right? What did I need? And it's up to me to give that to them. So, you know, it's not easy. It's the hardest job in the world, but it's the most rewarding job ever.

Fred (15:42.29)
Yeah. And I wanted to comment on that note too, is that, you know, you want to give them the best of you, but sometimes the best of you includes being tough. And this is where I see a lot of parents fails there. They don't, they don't want to play the tough card, but sometimes that's the lesson. Not sometimes it's, you know, equally important.

Shawn (15:53.671)
100 percent.

Fred (16:03.978)
You know, the tough lessons I've seen you be the mediator with your girls, you know, they're little, you know, but they're just being kids, right? You know, so they're going to have disagreements, disputes, you know, there's gonna be a little friction in the house, but in, but you have very calming demeanor. You try to keep it clear, concise and short, you know, as far as their explanations, cause you know, we took a, Denise and I took a parenting class before we had mail in.

And they're like their children, you have to keep your message short and to the point because they can't comprehend. And you know, why do all these things for you and drag everything plus the kitchen sink into the into the rationales to why you need them to clean their room or, you know, straighten up. But I see so many parents, you know, that they don't want to do the tough work. It's easy to love on your kids. It's easy to give them everything that they want. That's the easy part. That's the path to least resistance. But what you get at the end?

Shawn (16:41.018)
Right.

Fred (16:54.494)
as a spoiled brat. And it's not really funny. You know, it's a mere fact of the work that you put in. So, you know, being a parent is a balance. And it's not blowing up on your kids, but it's hey, there's times to put your foot down and keep them on track.

because what's happened is whatever they learn when they're little is only going to multiply when they get a bit older and a middle school and high school. And that multiplier can either be very positive or it can be very negative. And in most cases, you know, kids become more challenging as they grow older because they want to push the boundaries. That's their job. You know, they're going to ask for an ice cream when they're little 5,000 times and they're finally going to get one, you know, if they keep asking enough or they're not, you know, but, um,

Shawn (17:19.621)
Right.

Fred (17:41.778)
So anyways, just keep that in mind that the tough work is part of the part of parenting, not my favorite, but sometimes it has to be done.

Shawn (17:49.743)
Well, one of the roles of being a great dad is you have to be that disciplinarian. You have to be able to help your kids set up boundaries for themselves. You set up the boundary, you help the kids set up boundaries and enforce those boundaries. It's not my job as a dad to be their best friend. Period. I'm not here to be my girl's best friend at all. I'm here to love, to lead.

and to inspire these girls because look at the end of the day they're going to grow up and they're going to marry a man just like their dad. What kind of bar, what kind of expectations did I set for these girls? You know we do we do date night every week. Thursday nights are date night with my girls. No questions asked. We're doing date night regardless.

They get flowers, I open the door for them, and I'm not saying I'm the perfect father, but what I do know is I have to set this bar so damn high that when these little dorks come around and wanna start dating my girls, when they're like 22, that they're gonna be like, yeah, no, you don't make the cut. You're not at that level, right? So, you know, we lead by example. We lead from the front.

and it's our jobs to do that. You know, it's a tough place at times because you do, you have to put on different hats and you operate in different roles, but it's consistent, right? It's consistent, so.

Fred (19:35.05)
Yeah. So one of the takeaways that Doug had written in, he had said that, you know, we're the ultimate teachers, you know, and that they're the children are always watching and the lessons to your, your terms are caught, not taught, you know, and it's so true. Um, but it's up to us to teach them how to love, to respect one another. Um, learn to teach them about responsibility, humility, and faith.

you know, because those are all, those are all tools and that we need in life, right? And they're not always, you know, it's not like somebody give you a piece of paper and said, Hey, here's a, you know, here's a lesson for you, but it's something that's learned over time, humility, respect for one another. And that's a, I put in here that it's, you know, that it's a two way street, you know, they have to learn to respect themselves in order to respect other people.

Shawn (20:24.341)
That's good.

Fred (20:24.606)
And so that's where it's so important, you know, and I and I watch my kids, I, you know, they have a good sense of boundaries. And I, I sometimes I'm impressed because they're so rational on their decision making, you know, they deal with their fair share of life stuff, you know, when it comes to work, dealing with colleagues at work, friend groups.

Shawn (20:37.879)
Mm-hmm.

Ahem.

Fred (20:45.894)
the right friends, the wrong friends. And if there's some bad apples in the bunch, they just migrate away from those because they don't fit, they're not in alignment with who they are. Like I said, I'm honestly impressed. I grew up in a very different environment.

And that's kind of where I get my parenting strategy from is that, you know, in our house, no matter what happened, you were never the one, you were never at fault. It was always somebody else's fault. You got bad grades. Oh, that teacher's always had it out for you. Like really? Yeah. How about I didn't do my homework or I slacked or I, you know, but I finally came to that conclusion and it literally drove me crazy because I'm like, mom, I love you to death. And I can appreciate you trying to be always kind, you know,

Shawn (21:15.195)
All right.

teachers after me.

Fred (21:35.026)
You don't always have to be kind. It's sometimes you need a kick in the ass, you know? It's like, hey, you need to get your shit together because you're not gonna, you know, you're not gonna make it through school. You're not gonna graduate or whatever you're working on. But those are the lessons that are, you know, the opposite of the love, but that's a form of love, right?

Shawn (21:45.157)
Right.

Fred (21:54.538)
is holding them to a higher standard. If you don't hold them to a higher standard, how are they gonna hold themselves to a higher standard? And they're gonna wanna please people when they get out if there's an employer, it's part of the foundation that gets overlooked. I've always despised people that buy their kids super fancy cars in high school.

Shawn (22:00.463)
That's right.

Fred (22:15.538)
and they get all the great stuff. And it probably is worse for me because I was part of the have-nots. I earned my clothes to go to school so I could look decent. But at the same time, you start to get this mentality that you're entitled to everything and that entitlement today is so rampant. It's like, okay, so we're in the same grade but you drive a BMW to school so you're better.

Shawn (22:37.924)
Right.

Fred (22:39.274)
I don't even know how to change a tire. You know what I mean? So, but you're better, we'll give you that. You know what I'm saying? You shouldn't get your kids nice things, but they've got to earn it. I think one of the things that impressed me about Ryan Bowen when we met with him at the Red Suit Realtor Deal, the guy just sold his company for $1.2 billion. His daughter needs a car.

And he made her buy it. I think he told us the story that he had a, one of the company vehicles that had been wrapped and they unwrapped it and he worked out some deal with her, but it wasn't, it wasn't, Oh, you know, we came into, I think they, you know, this business he's had for 25 years. So I'm sure they were, you know, and a good financial position, but he was like, no, you know, you need to earn this car and you need to respect it regardless of what kind of car it is, you know, and he has the means to buy her a Lamborghini if he wants to,

Shawn (23:04.111)
Good for him

Fred (23:31.948)
reason. And that's how it's been in my house is like, Hey, you know, we go and do things differently. You know, it's like the kids have to, you know, figure out how to put some money into this equation and, and either buy their own car or we do it together. And I raised the other half, you know, or but it's got to be a lesson. And I've always seen it like that. And it's from my upbringing, because I saw the kids that had everything.

Shawn (23:32.801)
Right.

Fred (23:53.806)
And they're crashing it, destroying it, not respecting it, and thinking that, you know what, mom and dad will just get me another one. And it's not that way. So anyways, little tidbit on flip flopping to both sides. You gotta do them both equally, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Shawn (24:00.075)
Right.

Well, I think you said something about discipline and you know Bible says in Hebrews it said for whom the Lord loves he corrects

For whom the Lord loves, he corrects. Same way with our kids. You love your kids, you gotta correct them. You know, I've been in relationships where there was zero discipline. It was just threats, right? It was...

stop doing this, stop doing this, last warning, I'm gonna count and the kids just keep pushing and pushing and pushing and pushing and it's like no you're doing your kids a huge disservice by not correcting your kids. It doesn't mean you you're not supposed to beat them and whip them into submission but there's lessons to be learned here and lessons to be taught and so you know kids need that discipline, they need that correction and they need that guidance.

Fred (24:44.595)
Right?

Shawn (25:07.887)
You know, it's about, it's one thing to tell them what to do, but it's another thing to show them what to do. Great example was yesterday, swimming with my girls last night, I should say. We were gonna swim yesterday, but the bees were out, so we had to wait till the sun went down, because I don't have anything to pour in my pool right now to get rid of the bees, so I gotta get that today. So we did a night swim, and my youngest is wanting to dive, and she's got it all down, and she's amazing at gymnastics.

She's a great athlete and she's strong as can be. She has a fear in her that when she dives, she's gonna get water up her nose because it's happened many times before. And I've tried to tell and show and so yesterday it was like, all right, here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna break this down into three parts. Broke it down into three parts. And after the second time, boom, she got her dive. And she's like, I'm diving, I'm diving, I'm diving.

Fred (26:03.043)
I'm out.

Shawn (26:03.407)
She has her sister telling her what to do, she has me telling her what to do, and I finally had to take a page out of my own book and I was like, no, just show her. Show her what to do. She's gonna catch it if you show her, you know? And, you know, let me ask you a question. You have a boy and a girl. Which one was tougher, was Maylen or Gavin tougher or were they equally raising, more challenging to deal with? Not that it matters, I'm just curious.

Fred (26:10.637)
Right?

That's perfect. Right?

Fred (26:30.129)
I would say they're yeah, they I would say they're about the same You know, I mean that we've had some challenging times with each of them in their own ways, but they were a fraction I mean they weren't they were easy and

Shawn (26:34.283)
Are they?

Fred (26:42.878)
It was nothing out of the norm, but it's just really interesting, like how well behaved they are. And I'm just respectful. No granted they push the limit sometimes and we have to, of course correct them, but it's never been like an ongoing thing. You know, they would have a moment where they're frustrated and may say something, but we, you know, tune it up right on the spot. But both of them, we feel blessed because they both have been very easy. And, you know, we've had

Shawn (27:08.071)
But that's a testament to you and your wife. You guys didn't just get lucky. It's what you and Denise have done for the last 20 plus years raising your two kids. So that's a testimony to you guys.

Fred (27:12.275)
Yes.

Yeah, well, I appreciate that. You know what's interesting is Denise and I was, we will meet a lot of the kids. A lot of the kids like to hang out here at our house. Okay, we gotta, we gotta.

Shawn (27:30.063)
Another testament to you guys.

Fred (27:33.41)
Sur on these hot latest and greatest hot frickin MX bikes that are electric So there's a court track in our backyard and the kids like to come over and hang out or do bonfires and stuff like that But what's interesting to me is that we get to meet so many of these kids, which is wonderful We get to know them and a lot of times we know their family But it's that saying that the apples don't fall too far from the tree It's so spot-on because if they're good kids, they're generally great parents, you know

Shawn (27:54.363)
Right.

Yeah.

Fred (28:00.094)
If the kids are, you know, you see some of them, I feel bad for them because they don't have that guidance at home and they're, you could tell there's the wheels are spinning up in their head, you know, and they don't feel like they don't feel worthy. And it breaks my heart because I felt like that for years. And so I try to, I try to, and in a non direct way to get some bits and pieces out of them. Then I'll ask the kids, I go, what's his home life like? Oh, there's his parents are divorced and this one, you know, she just, his mom moved to Texas and blah, blah.

Shawn (28:21.178)
Mm-hmm.

Fred (28:29.066)
I go, I can see it. I can see inside his soul and he's broken, you know? But there's been numerous cases like that, but it's just sad. So, you know, when we say lead by example, and try to inspire others, I can tell you when I was growing up, I had a friend named Walter when I lived in Tucson, Arizona and his parents were, they were.

Shawn (28:33.316)
Yeah.

Fred (28:49.678)
great parents, but they were the great parents on discipline, positive and negative contributions to their children. And so I had that as a role model. Like I, if I could stay at Walter's house, you know, I would stay at his house every day until I was told to come home. The phone, the phone would ring at the house and you know, it's time for me to come home because I didn't want to go home. My house was horrible.

Shawn (29:11.824)
Right.

Fred (29:14.846)
And so, but he, you know, those are the things that I caught, you know, so we say these things. I mean, those are true life lessons. And if I wouldn't have had that picture, I wouldn't have known, known any better. And I get, I get frustrated sometimes and I'm starting to see more of it. And I'm thankful for this, but I get frustrated sometimes because, you know, obviously there's all this division, you know, white versus black, the haves, the haves not, but you know, I wasn't seeing a lot of.

Shawn (29:21.543)
Sure.

Fred (29:40.19)
other communities step up and guide their tribes. You know what I mean? But it's important that every single person...

Shawn (29:45.071)
Right.

Fred (29:49.486)
pour back into those people that have less and need that guidance. So like I said, I'm forever grateful for Walter's family for showing me the way. His dad used to put us to work when we were kids. And I have a quick story is, and this has stuck with me my entire life. His dad was, they were Asian and he was one of those big Asian guys. Like he was tough, like a railroad worker kind of guy. He owned multiple houses. They own like 12 rental properties years ago. So he'd be like,

Shawn (29:57.627)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Fred (30:20.36)
you know and I'm like yeah I'd love to work and make some money you know so he would never tell us what he's gonna pay us so Walter and I'd go he'd tell us what he needs us to do and at the end of the day he'd pay us I go man you'd seem like your dad paid us a lot of money the first job we did and he goes yeah he goes he pays he pays pretty good well we did the next job and he didn't pay us so good because guess who was chit-chatting and screwing around me and Walter

Shawn (30:46.998)
Mm-hmm.

Fred (30:48.254)
So we got paid and I'm like, well, what happened?

He goes my dad's philosophy is a day's work He'll pay you based on what you contributed. So a day's work for a we know I don't know what his phrase was But regardless like we literally made half of what we made the day before because we were screwing around, you know It's lollygagging. He goes if you put a hard day in he's gonna give you what you're worth and that's how he pays He will not tell you what he's gonna pay you. So guess who's learned how to bust ass at a young age So when he asked us if we want to work it was work time because we were gonna go all in But he just had a great way

Shawn (31:03.929)
Right.

Yeah.

Shawn (31:14.941)
Sure.

Fred (31:22.185)
of mentoring and showing through actions. You know, it's like you didn't get the same pay just because you showed up, you know, but that's our society today. Just because you showed up for a soccer game, you get a trophy, you know, or you showed up.

Shawn (31:30.659)
Yeah. Well, you hear that, the toughest part is just, you show up every day and you gotta show up, you don't just show up, you gotta put forth some action. You gotta put forth some work. How old were you when you were doing this with Walter?

Fred (31:43.358)
Exactly. So the sh... Yes.

I was probably 12 and 13. Cause at 14, at 14 I was driving from Arizona to California. Ha ha ha.

Shawn (31:50.903)
Yeah, that's a lesson you can.

Kelly right but that's a lesson you caught from Walter's parents good job Walter's parents

Fred (32:00.532)
Yep, exactly.

Yeah, so that was, you know, those are, those are some of the examples, you know, that stick with you and, and just know that your interaction with these young individuals has an impact.

Shawn (32:14.715)
Right. Absolutely. I was, uh, I don't know why this is so funny to me because it's still funny. I did a one of my videos. I don't even know what it was. Day 10 or 11 on my 30 day challenge. And I was cracking up because Jordan Peterson was talking about parents that just cannot stand being around their kids. This is a problem. Parents, you know, if you don't enjoy being around your kids,

Fred (32:38.464)
Right?

Shawn (32:44.547)
That's a problem. And I'm sitting here thinking, if I didn't enjoy being around my kids, whose fault is that? It's my fault. I mean, I think I said on my videos, like, if you don't enjoy being around your kids, that is a big problem. But if you raised a little dickhead, that's your problem. You know what I mean? And I laugh about it. But it is sad, because I'll be in the store, at the mall, at the park with the girls. I don't care where or somewhere.

restaurant and you see some kids. Perfect example, yesterday girls had gymnastics. There was a lady sitting about three rows, two rows in front of me watching her kids. So she's got a kid or two kids in gymnastics and she's got two little ones. She has a fairly a newborn, probably a few months old and then she has like a two-year-old and this two-year-old is a little terror. He's hitting his mom, he's hitting his grandma.

He's kicking the car like the carrier for the new baby. And he's just a little, a little terror. Like, and I just want to reach down and grab him by the back of his shirt and be like, dude, sit down and quit beating on your mom. You know what I mean? But I'm just sitting here thinking, what's going on in their home? What was the mom and dad raised like? Because this little boy's obviously having some issues. Maybe he's...

going through something because he has a new sibling. I don't know. But when kids are acting like that, that's a reflection of the parent. You know, you can think, that parent can think themself for raising that little jerk face. You know what I mean? And again, not that you or I are the textbook best parents, but there's something to be said about taking this role as a parent, in this case as a father, like this is life or death.

because this is the next generation that we're raising, right? I'm raising the next generation under my roof, my little girls, this is the next generation. Well, take a look around. Our country needs some leaders. Our country needs some bright minds, some workhorses, some powerhouses, some people that are resilient, that don't waiver, and that not...

that are not in for the quick fix and the I want it now. It's, you know, I get my five year old telling me, daddy, that's not fair. Yeah, guess what, honey? Life's not fair, get used to it. You know, it's not fair. Life's never gonna be fair. Get used to it. Keep going, push, you know. But it's sad. It's sad when you see kids that are lacking, that are not getting the attention, the love, the discipline.

Fred (35:26.647)
Right.

Shawn (35:38.475)
I think the most important thing is the most valuable commodity that we have as human beings is time. It's something that we can never get back. God forbid I go to gymnastics and I stare at my smartphone the whole time while these girls are doing gymnastics. Guess what? I'm missing out on what they're actually doing and I'm not hiding behind my phone taking pictures either. I want to be in the moment. I'll get a picture or two. You know?

Fred (35:46.148)
Great.

Shawn (36:05.915)
But I wanna be in the moment watching these girls because every time they look over and they see me, they see my eyes, they don't see the back of this phone. Right? I'm connected, I'm present. It's not, oh, well I used to go to all their practices. Great, but what were you doing at their practices? You were there physically, but are you connected? Are you paying attention? Did you just show up in person to just show up? Are you showing up for...

Fred (36:10.726)
Oh yeah. Right. And you connect.

Shawn (36:35.387)
them every day, every day, every day, right? Sad when you see little kids missing out and lacking. It's, yeah. Our kids need us, man.

Fred (36:47.522)
Yeah, they don't get. Yeah, they got out that guidance. I was, as you're saying that I'm thinking about on some of the things that, um, that we did, I did it with the kids and they were younger. So Denise spent a lot of time at the ranch with Manley cause she was, you know, horseback riding. A lot of times I'd be at work or if I got off, I would try to sneak by there and watch what she's doing. But I had the opportunity to coach some soccer with Gavin and you know, but you start tuning into your kids, you see how they, they operate with, you know, they work with a team.

their communication skills, their commitment to the team. And they got to a point with him, he enjoyed it for a while. And he's like, Dad, I'm really not a team sport kind of guy. I wanna do independent things, which he was dedicated to those things as well. But you get to pick up little nuances about your kids that you can kinda see that needs a little honing or a little push, a little guidance.

Shawn (37:19.685)
Right?

It's okay.

Shawn (37:40.487)
100%.

Fred (37:43.73)
But you learn about a lot about your kids, but you also learn a lot about yourself. And the thing that used to make me crazy about about, um, you know, practices like that is the parents that would just drop them off like it's a daycare, literally drop them off and then pick them up at the end. And then you see the sad ones. It's like grandma's dropping off the kid because mom and dad are

Shawn (37:55.439)
Right.

Fred (38:06.938)
out fucking off being drug addicts or whatever they're doing, you know? And so, um, God, thank God for grandmas, right? Or grandpas. They're there to kind of pick up the slack. But you know, the sad part is that, you know, we had one in particular that the grandma was so worn down. It's a kid had two sisters that were younger than him.

Shawn (38:16.677)
Mm-hmm.

Fred (38:25.278)
And this lady's lugging these kids around trying to do her best to make sure that they got some athletics in their lives, some guidance from coaches. So in that regard, you know, go grandma, cause she knew that they, these kids needed some guidance more, you know, above and beyond what she could give them at her age, you know, but poor lady, man, she's, you know, struggling just to get them to practice on time and make it over there. But the kids were this boy that we had on our team. Holy moly.

that he's got a lot of work to do. He's going to have severe issues in the future. And, um, you know, we try to do our best to guide him, but there's only so much you can do in an hour, you know, at 45 minute to an hour practice every day for whatever it was three months. So, but anyways, yeah, those, I agree with you a hundred percent. These, these lessons are so important. And I think that as we continue to shine our light, you know, if you are that parent that

Shawn (39:01.422)
Mm-hmm.

Right.

Fred (39:14.794)
you know, has it together, has a keen eye for kids that need help above and beyond yours. Your kids are an example to those kids. And they like to hang out with our kids because, you know, not saying that my kids are perfect.

Shawn (39:22.522)
Yeah.

Fred (39:27.574)
but there's a connection there and they need to see that light. They need to see that example. And it's super important. Like I said, coming up, you know, I was basically fatherless cause mine, you know, if I had to call out the stuff, we'd have need another two day podcast, talk about all the nonsense, but I have gravitated towards people that they had stability, they had structure.

Shawn (39:47.75)
Right.

Fred (39:49.694)
you know, because I wanted to do better. I knew that wasn't the route I wanted to go down in my household, but I would see this. I was like, wow, I didn't know this existed, you know? And that's where I go back to some of the parents that, you know, like the kid you were talking about kicking the shopping cart and just being a handful. Those people probably they, you know, unfortunately, they probably don't know anybody either because you don't know what you don't know. But, but the more people shine their light that are doing those things,

Shawn (39:55.824)
Right?

Right. That's right.

Fred (40:18.006)
You know, there's a chance for them to, for the light bulb to go off for them and, and strive to be a better parent who guides their children correctly.

Shawn (40:30.008)
Yeah. I would say this too. If you feel like, you know, as a parent, if you feel like you can step up your game, step up your game. Because it doesn't take any more effort to be a kick-ass parent versus a deadbeat parent. It's simply a choice. You know, I was an athletic trainer for 23 years. Worked with a lot of people. Started out as a personal trainer and then I went as an athletic trainer working with, you know, professional athletes and collegiate athletes.

But here's a big takeaway. People would say it's so hard to eat healthy. Bullshit. It takes no more effort to eat healthy than it does to eat unhealthy. It's simply a choice. So if you feel like you can step up your parenting game, choose to do so. And I'll tell you why I think one of the most important things that I learned with my first girl, with Ireland.

You know, she's in kindergarten and I'm writing, I think I might've shared this, I did share this with you, but you know, I'm writing her a note every day in her lunchbox and put her a note in her lunchbox every single day when she goes to school. And it wasn't a long note, it was a couple sentences, you know, just telling her that I believed in her, I loved her, and she was, God created her for amazing things, you know, just speaking life into her. And...

She, you know, would come home when I first started doing it and she's like, Daddy, I can't read. Can you read my note to me? And I was like, yeah, baby, I'll read your note to you. I'd read her note to me and she'd sit there with her little blue eyes and just staring at me and read that note to her. But I kept sending that note with her to school every single day. And what she did is she started getting her teacher to read her note to her. Her teacher starts reading the note and then I go in for parent teacher conferences and her teacher.

Fred (42:18.197)
Right.

Shawn (42:25.871)
I'm going over Ireland's, you know, school stuff. And she said, I just want to tell you something. I've been teaching for whatever it was, 17 years, 14 years. I don't remember. She said, I've never had a parent be so consistent with writing a note. She said, you don't miss a note. And she said, you know what I'm doing now with my two kids? I'm writing them a note every day and it's going in their lunchbox.

And I was like, good for you. And I remember high-fiving her teacher. And I was like, you keep it up. You know, that's, you're an example. And guess what? Your kids are gonna grow up and they're gonna write notes in their kids' lunchbox, et cetera, et cetera. But somebody's always watching. And I remember Ireland telling me, she said, daddy, my friend, I can't even remember her name and I should be able to remember it. But it was about five years ago. She said, my friend.

wants me to read my note that you wrote me to her. And I can't read, so Mrs. I think it was Mrs. Berman was her name, reads the note. And she said, will you write, call her Alice. I don't remember the little girl's name. She said, will you write Alice a note?

and I'll give it to her in her lunchbox. I was like, yeah, let's do it. So I just wrote her a little note. You know, I was like, Alice, I hope you have a great day. You're an amazing little girl. You're destined for great things. You know, speaking life into her. Well, she took it home and she showed her mom and her dad. And they were like, the parents stepped up and started writing our note. You know what I mean? So somebody's always watching. And it's not just our kids because

Fred (43:42.306)
How cool is that?

Shawn (44:08.535)
Our kids are gonna, they're a reflection of us and they're gonna shine our light that we shine into them and they're gonna go out and shine that light to others. You know? So step up your game and just, you know, I've been saying this in my posts, do more, be more, be great. Because we can't always do more. And if we do more, chances are we are gonna be more. And if we continue to just to do that and be consistent.

We can be great. You can be great at anything. You know, I don't care if you go out and practice your golf swing 5,000 times a day. If you do more, you're gonna eventually be a lot better. You may not be Tiger Woods on the tour, but you're gonna be a lot better than you were just because of the repetitions and continued effort and continued growth. But somebody's always watching.

Fred (44:53.378)
video.

Yeah, that's exactly. Yeah, you just don't give up, you know, especially when it comes to your kids. You gotta stay the course and never give up and, you know, just do what you do. The other thing I wanted to share real quick is that, you know, we have a lot of, you know, our kids, we're friends with our kids' friends, parents. And I always laugh when we get a chance to sit down and like, we'll go to dinner. And our kids are very much alike. They group in the same area. They have the same interests.

You know, they all go through the same things, but I laugh because the challenges that we have with our kids are no different than the, you know, the challenges that they have with their kids and they're good families. I mean, good families, they do a lot together. Um, they're always there for each other. They're those parents are guiding and mentoring and then there's, there's literally challenges in there. And some of it goes back to just adolescents. You know, boys, you know, get a little big, you know, they get a little older

Shawn (45:48.187)
Sure.

Fred (45:53.29)
They hit high school or graduate from high school and they, their testosterone kicks up and they, they think they're bad asses and they want to fight and you know, they, they just want to do boy things, you know? And so we've seen some struggles and we had one particular incident that, you know, the boys got into some, I don't know, some territory.

motorcycle riding area nonsense. And I, but it got pretty ugly, you know, with these boys, you know, just fighting for this, this area, you know, literally down to fist fights. And these kids aren't, they're not like scrappers, you know, but they, they're not going to back down if it gets brought on, you know? So we've had to deal with some, some things, you know, but the reason I bring that up is that just like, you know, kids going through puberty,

Shawn (46:23.983)
Right.

Fred (46:38.774)
There's different seasons of those kids lives as they evolve and grow as individuals. But I think that, you know, um, a lot of times they've, kids get the wrong impression because they can't be who they are at that particular time in their life. You know, so when hormones start to come on, whether they're, you have, now you have sexual tendencies or exploration or, you know, your, your body starts to change when I've seen so many times where it's taboo.

Shawn (46:42.416)
Mm-hmm.

Right.

Fred (47:08.202)
to experience who you are at that time of your life, you, you're developing and that's natural. So you can't fight nature is the reason I'm, I'm saying that just like when boys, you know, decide, man, I'm starting to get some muscles and I, and I feel kind of aggressive when somebody triggers me and you know, I want to punch somebody. Well, you got to guide them on that too. You know, sometimes you have to defend yourself as somebody, you know, comes at you and you got to defend yourself. You got to hit them back, you know, this is the way it is. But

Shawn (47:27.736)
Right.

Sometimes somebody needs their ass whooped.

Fred (47:37.778)
Exactly. And so you don't want to just lay back and get your ass kicked because you know, It's not okay to put your hands on those that they strike you first. It's a game on so go fuck them up but at the same time I see people, you know damage their kids because they're going through this phase of life and They're growing and they're confused. They're trying to figure out what is it they want, you know, or who they are you know how they're gonna be and um, you know, you can't you can't I Don't know you can't derail or reroute nature

Shawn (47:45.671)
Right.

Fred (48:07.382)
because that's human nature. That's what's happening. So we've always practiced in our house as we respect our kids for who they are at those stages of their lives. And we try to have a an understanding based on where they're at on their age. And it's just, I think it's common sense, but as much of it being common sense, I'd see it get avoided constantly, especially through religion, people putting this, you know, I don't know, this morning I told you I was pricking, I woke up at three 30 in the morning and, um,

For some reason, the shame and the guilt thing was just kind of resonating in my head because I get so tired of people shaming and guilting people into different things. And when you do that to your children, if you use shame and guilt as a tool as the easy button to try to fix something, it's easy to shame your kids into something. But at the same time, think about the collateral damage that takes place. Yeah, now they got resentment.

Shawn (49:01.591)
resentment. They are going to resent your ass. Yeah.

Fred (49:04.978)
Yeah, they resent you. So guess what? The next thing you say, they're going to resent you and you. Now you start stacking up those negatives. Now you got a fricking wall built up and guess who they want to come to you when there's trouble in paradise, not you. They're going to go to elsewhere. And so they're going to go elsewhere. So I've always looked at it. You know, you either invest in your kids, be open and transparent as you possibly can, but speak with, you know, compassion, empathy, and not sympathy, empathy. You're going to, you want to pull them up.

Shawn (49:15.384)
Right.

Fred (49:34.87)
But so that way you keep those doors open and they're leaning on you when times get tough. As opposed to going for, you know, getting guidance elsewhere, which I can guarantee you that guidance elsewhere is gonna be the wrong guidance. 99% of the time. And if they get lucky, great. But so yeah, I don't know why at 3.30 this morning that was just pinging in my head. There was another component to it. I can't remember it right off the top of my head. I'll bring it up if I can remember it. But yeah, it's just one of those things.

Shawn (49:43.003)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, 100%.

Shawn (49:59.279)
Well, I think the important thing kids need to know that they have an ear that listens to them. They'll have a voice that speaks to them and not just speaks but truth. They have a confidence and unwavering my girls. I guarantee you anybody could ask my girls these questions. Who are you going to talk to? Who do you trust? They're both going to say dad. He doesn't lie. He'll tell us the truth and he'll tell us like it is and.

I tell them when I'm proud of them and I tell them when I'm disappointed. I tell them when I'm happy, you tell them when I'm frustrated. And it's not like I walk around saying, hey girls, I'm happy. Hey girls, I'm mad. You know, that's not what I mean. But they're going to know that with dad, they're going to get the real deal and the truth.

Fred (50:39.017)
Hahaha

Shawn (50:47.067)
There's not gonna be any sugar coating. And I'll tell them, hey, I literally went and told Ireland yesterday during gymnastics class, she was kind of off to the side and I walked over and I said, hey, I said, you got your bridge kickover almost. Because that's the last thing that she's needing to be able to perform to go to the next level. And she wants to go to the next level. I said, you're so close to this bridge kickover. I said, can I give you just a little, and I asked, I asked for permission.

I said, can I give you a tip of what I see? And she said, yeah. I said, less funny time and more work because she's got these two little twin sisters that are in her class and they're as cute as could be and they're good. They're good. Ireland's getting good, but she has just a couple things. She's so tall. I don't know if she's gonna be.

Fred (51:27.108)
Mmm.

Shawn (51:39.495)
She loves gymnastics and I don't know if she's gonna be able to cause she's a good gymnast cause she's so freaking tall. The girls almost she's nine years old. She's almost five foot. I mean, but you got these two little twin sisters and then Ireland and it's all it's like comedy hour over there because these sisters are doing stuff and they got these things down to us. You know, they're good. They got this down and then still needs to work at it. But I was like, baby, you want to get this down?

Fred (51:47.654)
She is tall.

Right?

Shawn (52:07.151)
Let's goofing off with these two girls while you're in class. I want you to have fun. It's important. You're here to have fun, but you're here to get better and to grow.

Fred (52:15.51)
Right? No, it's a good way to put it, you know? You asked for permission to give her some constructive advice, right? So now she's, you know, part of this decision. I just said it going, hey, quit screwing around. Versus, hey, do you mind if I give you some, you know, some advice? Right. The different.

Shawn (52:22.531)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Shawn (52:33.379)
Yeah. Can I give you can I give you something of what I saw? Yeah, tell me dad and she'll tell me I want to know tell me in the same with Ivy. I grew up as you know, I played sports that are pretty high level and I started playing sports when I was like five. I think I started playing t-ball or soccer first. I don't remember and then I went into basketball like six, but I remember all the way through college literally high school college these parents in the stands that are just those parents that you can't stand.

You know what I mean? Dad's the armchair quarterback. He's living vicariously through his son. Mom's living vicariously through her daughter, you know, for whatever. And they're just harping, harping. And even when I coached basketball for five years, parents coming up to me and tell me how to coach. I'm like, listen, douchebag, I've forgotten more about basketball than you even know. So you want, here, you wanna coach this? And chances are, I probably know your son's ability on the basketball court a little better than you do.

Fred (53:03.007)
Right.

Shawn (53:32.683)
But kids need that. They also wanna know that, you know, hey, dad came to me and asked me. It's not like I'm that field general over there, that sergeant, you know, driving it down. So, it's important.

Fred (53:47.018)
Yeah, sometimes that stuff is necessary to be the drill sergeant. But, um, in most cases not, you know, if you, if you went down the right road and then it comes to that and they need a kick in the ass and you give them a little kick in the ass, you know, but, um, you know, presentation is everything, you know, and I think that the way you connect with people, that's what everybody's looking for is human connection, you know, and I, you see some of the great people in the world, you know, athletes, you see musicians and, um,

Shawn (53:55.323)
Absolutely.

Fred (54:15.53)
I think it's a result of them having good guidance and then eventually good coaches. You know, I think we, we talk about how important coaching is to us, but I think the world gets stumped because they don't, they think that, Oh, well whatever I was raised with is what I'm going to carry to the next generation. You know, it's like that those, whether it's good habits or bad habits, right? And I always, I always love the cowboy way. It's just very simple. They keep things, you know, you know,

Shawn (54:25.275)
Right.

Yeah.

Fred (54:45.098)
I don't know, in line with core values, but... I'm trying to, I lost my train of thought a little bit there, so forgive me, but anyways, I now, beach brain. That's the new supplement coming out, beach brain.

Shawn (54:55.183)
Dude, you're in beach brain mode. That's what the problem is.

BQ, beach brain. There we go, that's a good one.

Fred (55:04.758)
You know what happened is that algae bloom that was out there, maybe that got on me. So I'm hallucinating along with the sea lions. So.

Shawn (55:09.935)
Hey. You're creeping balls.

Did you eat some magic mushrooms at the beach, Fred?

Fred (55:18.986)
Well, that's, I think what the algae bloom is. You should have seen these poor sea lions out there. It looked like Stevie Wonder playing, you know, given a concert. They were squirming and they're doing their thing. It was, and it was, it was sad. Like people were trying to help them, but you can't help them. They're there. I don't know. People do honestly, God, people were rolling them up in a, in beach towels.

Shawn (55:33.659)
How are you gonna help a sea lion? What are you gonna?

Fred (55:40.95)
dragging them up on like, uh, skin boards or freaking boogie boards and pouring water on them. And like, dude, they're just jacked up. And the guys that were there, the, um, that man, I don't know, it's like, I don't know what they call these guys. They come in and rescue the animals, but they weren't even taking them off the beach. But they're saying, yeah, just leave them alone because they're tripping right now. They're literally this algae bloom is a, is a psychedelic

So they're jacked up like literally we had five or six TV wonders out there. Getting it out, getting down. I want to play. You're all get down, get down. They're moving around. They're in the ocean floating around. So pretty crazy. So anyways, where are we at Sean? Pull me out of the, pull me out of the psychedelics.

Shawn (56:10.88)
Get down.

Where were those seals' parents at when they needed them?

Shawn (56:26.735)
We are, we're just unpacking what it is to be a good parent, good dad, and the importance of it. So I think we hit all the, hit the hot topic and hit the top button, or hot button, so.

Fred (56:34.124)
Yeah.

I wanted to throw one thing in for I know we're getting close. We're gonna wrap it up But um, I don't know if you guys have if anybody listens to add my lead out there his last two episodes Have been freaking act. I just packed with so much value. And so the one that he did with Alex Ramozi Phenomenal if you haven't listened to it, that's a that's one you got to listen to and then the one that he just put out with Jamie Kern Lima

Shawn (56:52.475)
fire.

Yeah.

Fred (57:08.662)
is I have no idea who this gal is until he interviewed her on the show. But she's a gal that was working at Denny's and built a company.

that she just sold to L'Oreal for $1.2 million somewhere in that ballpark or 1.2 billion, not million. I guess we're in the billion. We're in the billionaire, right? So when we were growing up, it was a big thing to be a millionaire. Now you gotta be a billionaire. So anyways, but, um, the episode, I'm listening to it for the second time, cause I just thought there was such tremendous value in that. And, um, she talks a lot about self-worth.

Shawn (57:21.967)
Billion. With a B.

Yeah.

Shawn (57:32.461)
Yeah.

Shawn (57:43.663)
Mm-hmm.

Fred (57:44.622)
And, um, you know, a lot of times we will discount our self worth, our capabilities and what we have to contribute. But this gal, she's been through the wringer. I mean, she literally built this business up and, um, she's had to fight through some of her insecurities and she has his skin care product because she has a, what's that rosacea? Where you have like your skin turns red and you get like these, I don't know if it's a rash or just that kind of, yeah. So

Shawn (58:06.558)
Eximeth.

Fred (58:10.162)
Anyway, she built up this company that makes a product to, I guess calm it down or cure it, or I don't think you can cure that 100%, but it will definitely bring it down to where you can wear makeup and not see these red marks. But anyway, she was talking about how she was going through and she's building this company up.

And they went through several rounds of raising capital. And she said they were down to like nothing. They had like $1,000 in their combined business account and personal account. They were almost done. And she's waiting to have a meeting with a VC. And so they did all this prep work that you gotta do when you're raising capital like that, all the due diligence. And she sat down with them. And...

you know, was thinking this is the one that's going to give us the, the capital to get us to the next level and you know, keep us going. Well it turns out she had this meeting and he said, you know what, I appreciate everything that you're doing. I think you guys are on the right path, but you're not a right fit for us. And he told her flat out that all the things that she was worried about herself that where she lacked confidence

She went to ask him why he didn't think that they were right that her company was a right fit for them She goes he told her straight out. He goes you want me to give you the truth She goes well, of course So he pauses for him and he goes well I don't think that a girl that looks like you or has your skin condition can sell I think it was skin condition, but basically the two faults that she criticized herself the most for Were the things that he brought up?

Shawn (59:44.486)
Hmm.

Fred (59:45.89)
So she not only did she not get the money, she also got, you know, borderline humiliated because, you know, he just validated these things that she was the most insecure about. Yeah. She feared. And now she had to figure out how to get, how to get over this. But what happened is that, you know, she thinks she, she came back around and said that, Hey, you know what?

Shawn (59:54.855)
Feared. Right.

Fred (01:00:09.554)
You know, those are things that I, I'm not happy with about myself and he calls them out point blank, but he declined. She continued to build her business, sold it to L'Oreal for $1.2 billion. And you know, now she's the one, you know, he actually sent a message six years later saying congratulations. And she's like, well, there's 1.2 billion reasons why you should have invested in my company. You know, so she got, she got the last deal, but what she, what she brought out of it was sort of the message that she was sharing was that, you know, you, you are you.

Shawn (01:00:29.081)
Right.

Fred (01:00:39.438)
and you have to give yourself some credit and you have to have confidence and belief in yourself. And she talked about something that resonated with me is that, you know, she goes, I've sat in a lot of rooms with a lot of different people, you know, raising money, negotiating deals for business. But she goes, you know what it falls back to for her? It was faith. She's all, she goes, I have an unwavering faith in the Lord. And...

Shawn (01:01:05.156)
Yeah.

Fred (01:01:07.134)
She goes, anytime, you know, she goes, if I'm not gonna believe in myself, you know, if I'm a divine creature of God, then why wouldn't I believe in myself? So she goes, every time I would be going to these meetings that I was a little nervous for, she goes, I would always remind myself that who's in the room with me is God. And God is only gonna let these deals happen for you if they're the right deals. He goes, so she goes, when I got this mindset, I learned to just get rid of rejection.

Shawn (01:01:22.821)
Yeah.

That's right.

Fred (01:01:34.378)
you know, because she goes, that's not the right opportunity for you. And so, um, so anyways, I thought it was pretty powerful to look at it that way. But the big takeaway is that not only does she have faith and belief, she was taking massive action on what she was doing on a day to day basis. You can have faith and belief and expect things to fall out of the sky for you. Probably not going to happen, but she's a true testament of putting in the work, you know, developing her skills, gaining her confidence and becoming somebody of tremendous value.

Shawn (01:01:49.791)
Mm-hmm.

Right.

Shawn (01:02:03.098)
Right.

Fred (01:02:03.506)
And now she just wrote a new book. You'd have to listen to the podcast to find out what it is. But just tremendous. I wanted to share that because it hit me pretty hard. Like I said, I'm in the middle of listening it for the second time. I might listen to it for a third time because I think self-value is so underrated that the 30-day challenge that we're doing, this podcast that we're doing, they're all self-development.

And then on that note, not only do you have to develop yourself, but you need to find people in your tribe that are going to help uplift you. You know, one thing that we've seen on the 30 day challenge is that there's a group of us, everybody's tagging each other or whether we tag each other or not. There's other people doing it at the same time. They have the same level of respect. They'll like, you post your stuff or vice versa, but you're starting to surround yourself with like minded doers. If you're going to dream, you got to learn to do.

Shawn (01:02:52.179)
Right.

Fred (01:02:55.398)
So in developing your skills in that arena is a big deal. But people that are able to support you and help lift you up, it, you know, whether you're the best or the worst, they're still there to support you and watch you grow and help assist where they can. So.

Shawn (01:03:09.027)
Right. That's good. It's all about taking action, man.

Fred (01:03:15.687)
Yep, you got to take action and have this belief faith take action and

Shawn (01:03:17.159)
You gotta take action.

Unwavering belief starts with the belief, it starts with the mindset, and then it's the believe and then do, right? Take action. And you keep doing, you keep showing up. Just like being a parent, you don't just show up, you're intentional. I think the big thing for me is intentional. I wanna be intentional about what kind of role I play in these girls' lives and the father that I am, so.

Well man, I think that's about it for me. That it for you?

Fred (01:03:54.446)
That is it for me. I could go on for about two more days since I'm in beach mode. I'm just kidding. Ha ha

Shawn (01:03:58.927)
since your trip and balls on the Stevie Wonder algae.

Um, well, I, uh, just as long as it's not Barry White, little Marvin, that's baby making music. That's for the nighttime. Um, I want to take a time, a moment to say thank you to all of our listeners. Um, like, and share the show. If we brought value, like, and share. Um, if you resonate with any of this, like, and share. If you don't like us and you think we suck, don't like us, but still share it. It's, you know, it's that.

Fred (01:04:12.386)
baby making music, right?

Shawn (01:04:34.531)
That's what it's about. So just pass this around. Fred and I, Fred and I are used to being passed around. Not really. But we appreciate you guys. We appreciate you listening and tuning in, taking the time, spending an hour, each podcast with Fred and I. And we hope you brought value to your life and to your day, and to your evening, wherever you're at, every time you're listening to. We appreciate you guys. Yeah, so that's all I got. Fred, what about you?

Fred (01:04:36.504)
Right?

All right, so yeah, my parting note is just lead by example and be the best version of yourself so you can lead and inspire others to be a better version of themselves. So carry the torch, live an intentional life, and be the best you can be. So, and we'll see you on the next episode. Thanks again for tuning in.

Shawn (01:05:23.308)
Have a great one, thanks.