THE RANT - Season's of Life - Real Guys

"RANT Seasons of Life - Real Guys" features the dynamic duo, Fred and Shawn, in a thought-provoking podcast that explores the diverse seasons of life from a refreshingly authentic perspective. As "Real Guys," Fred and Shawn bring their genuine personalities to the forefront, sharing personal anecdotes, societal observations, and engaging in passionate rants about the highs, lows, and complexities of life. The podcast takes listeners on a deep dive into various aspects of the human experience, including relationships, career challenges, personal growth, and societal issues. With humor, authenticity, and a healthy dose of reality, Fred and Shawn present relatable stories and insightful reflections that make each episode a captivating exploration of the seasons that shape us. Tune in for an unfiltered and honest conversation that resonates with the realness of Fred and Shawn's experiences.

The change starts with you!

Transcript

Fred (00:00.894)
All right, what guys, this Fred Castro and Sean Wilbanks bringing you the stand or a podcast to real guys talking about real shit, the good, the bad and the ugly. And just like us, I'm sure you're wondering what the hell is really going on in our society.

Shawn (00:14.779)
And let's get one thing straight. This is not about left versus right, black versus white, gay versus straight. It's about doing what is right. Our goal is to abolish the divide. It's about being free men and women that stand for our countries and creating change one person at a time, starting with you.

It's time to lead to be led and welcome to the Stand For It podcast. I had a brain fart there for a second. Always, always, always on the intro, I struggle.

Fred (00:38.454)
Okay.

Fred (00:41.642)
Well, you know, you know what they say? Even Andy's for cella screws up the intro. We were just laughing about that. Yeah. So, Hey, that's it. You're on the road to greatness, you know, and it doesn't come up. It doesn't come without some, some hurdles or stumbling along the way. So that's what we've learned. Right.

Shawn (00:47.796)
So self-fulfilling prophecy. What's up brother?

Shawn (00:55.236)
I know man, I know we-

Shawn (01:02.251)
I may not be where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be.

Fred (01:05.366)
Yeah, that's for damn sure. So, like, yeah, so yeah, well, happy Movember.

Shawn (01:07.903)
A lot of truth. Happy November.

Movember, yeah man Halloween came and went and I can't what are we first week in November. This is crazy

Fred (01:16.659)
That's a... Yeah. I...

Fred (01:21.574)
Yeah, that's all the tail end of the first week. Holy moly.

Shawn (01:24.655)
How was your uh, how was your Halloween? You looked like a good rocker. I saw you. Jamming out.

Fred (01:28.746)
Yeah, it was a, I was a washed up rocker hanging on to, uh, whatever eyes that I still have to hang on to. It was fun, man. Halloween's always a blast. Uh, Denise goes all out for Halloween, decorates a house. I wanted to have a party this year. So we did. Costumes were great. People had a good time. We had Donald Trump was here, a couple of Donald Trump's and uh, it's going to be huge.

Shawn (01:45.074)
Nice.

Shawn (01:50.899)
That's that's huge party. Huge.

Fred (01:57.302)
That was, it was freaking awesome. It was good. Um, how about you? You got fun with the girls. You get to go out, do some, uh, collect some candy teeth rotters.

Shawn (01:59.848)
Good.

Shawn (02:04.571)
We did, we did. We had a great time. The girls had a blast. They were, what were they, Thing 1 and Thing 2 and I was the cat in the hat. So it was a good time. The girls loved it. We had a great time. Our neighborhood goes all out and yeah, we hit up about three blocks and the girls were like, dad, we're done. Our bag's completely full. Our legs are tired. Can we be done? I was like, yeah, let's just go. So.

Fred (02:15.671)
So nice.

Fred (02:21.27)
Got a season.

Fred (02:29.334)
Ha ha ha.

Fred (02:34.615)
though we were your kids we'd go till we couldn't move anymore

Shawn (02:35.521)
We had a fun time.

Shawn (02:39.235)
I remember going to my aunt and uncle's house, dumping our bags off, like emptying our bags and then going out again and getting like another, you know, half a bag. And uh...

Fred (02:43.819)
Yeah.

Fred (02:48.382)
Yeah. And you're like hell with a regular bag. Get a pillowcase. It freaking was. Yeah. It's freaking what? Two, three feet deep.

Shawn (02:51.833)
That's why we use pillowcase.

Shawn (02:56.263)
Dude, and I probably had never eaten that much candy in my entire life. What was I gonna do with all that candy? But it was just the whole concept of divide and conquer.

Fred (03:06.102)
Yeah, with all the red dye hit you at once, you're a fucking lunatic. Ha ha ha.

Shawn (03:08.475)
Oh dude. Right? Well, now we've got Thanksgiving right around the corner, then Christmas, then New Year's, and then we're going to be like, holy shit, 2024. So...

Fred (03:19.474)
I know it's on the move on. It's been quite a crazy year, but I think all in all, it's been a good growing year. I'll leave it at that.

Shawn (03:27.547)
It's been a fun year. It's been a challenging year to say the least. I know for certain.

Fred (03:29.738)
Yeah. Heck yeah, you want to talk about some ups and downs, punch in the face, punch in the gut. You get knocked down, picked back up.

Shawn (03:39.931)
Yeah, where do I start? Where do you start? Where do I start? No. And not to be doom and gloom, right? I mean, that's not what this is about. We're not trying to be doom and gloom, but we are two real guys talking about real shit. And just like you, I'm sure you're wondering what the hell's really going on. But you know, Fred and I have our challenges. And it's been a season for sure for the both of us. But

Fred (03:44.842)
I don't know we're going through the same season but I think

Shawn (04:07.111)
You know, like I said at the beginning, I may not be where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be.

Fred (04:12.766)
Yeah, but it's all part of growing. Um, I think the more you become intentional with, with who you are, what your actions are and what you're trying to accomplish, there's a price to be paid, right? And so you're going to take some risks. You're in, you know, you're going to get knocked down. You have to get back up, but that's, you know, that's life in general. But I think when you're, when you're after something, um, that's important to you, I think you're going to get knocked down even more. So, you know, because we're all, we're all eager to get to where we want to be. And

Shawn (04:22.359)
Mm-hmm, absolutely.

Shawn (04:30.032)
Yeah.

Fred (04:41.802)
You know, let's face it, we all want to take the shortcuts. There are no shortcuts, you know, lessons are lessons. Life is life and seasons are seasons. They're all going to be there for you. It's just how you manage and get through the seasons. And so I think today's topic is probably right on point with what, you know, we've been going through and, you know, and what we want to talk about today. So, so I.

Shawn (04:50.652)
That's right.

Shawn (05:02.967)
I think I said this last week, not to interrupt you, but I like what Jaco says about you're not where you want to be or where you think you should be. Good. That's just more preparation. You got more work to do. You failed this exam. You failed this test. Good. Get back to work. You know, but that's, that's hard to easier said than done. How's that? If I'm being real, if I'm being honest, easier said than done.

Fred (05:20.447)
Exactly.

Fred (05:25.822)
Well, it is. But the thing is, is now we're surrounded by devices that tell us that everything is easy to get to wealth creation can happen overnight. Everything from NFTs to, you know, whatever the latest and greatest crypto fricking guys, for X, all this nonsense, you know, it's like, you know, any of these things are possible. Just like weight loss. If you do the work, you stay committed and you're consistent. Those things are going to happen.

Shawn (05:33.314)
Uh.

Shawn (05:51.336)
Mm hmm. Yeah.

Fred (05:53.386)
But we live in a world of society now that we just get bombarded with shit. You know, everything's easy. Yeah. Instant gratification, you know, and, uh, you know, you made a couple of real comments that I was impressed by. And I don't, I don't know if we talked about them, but you know, just some realizations.

Shawn (05:58.164)
One instant gratification.

Fred (06:10.658)
of, you know, getting in certain groups and doing certain things, or they're still, you know, personal accountabilities, what it all boils down to, right? And so while we may have the means to do certain things, you know, but we have to still have to be calculated and we have to treat each one of these things like do or die, you know, we're still on that hook because there's no fast path to anything now granted you can track by doing the work and getting in the right groups, you know, it's a

Shawn (06:18.131)
That's right.

Shawn (06:36.702)
Mm-hmm and learn from others mistakes

Fred (06:39.046)
Exactly. So I think there's a lot of power in that, but you know, Hey, we all get impatient and tired and we're like, dude, just let's go now. And so, you know, it's something to be said for, it's hard to imagine me saying that cause I've never been this guy, but the slow and steady and strategic and on point, and even with all those things said, it's still going to be a bumpy ride.

You know, so, but I think the growth this year has been tremendous. You know, I've seen it in you. I've seen it in myself and you know, the podcast is a, you know, living proof of sticking to something and sharing these trials and tribulations to help other people get through that. Cause it, a lot of people are struggling with, with the, the it's the amount of information that we're consuming on a day to day basis. Think about it. If you grew up,

50 years ago and you went to your job and you came home, we're going to spend, you know, you're not spending an hour online looking at other people's lives or some guru telling you how you can be rich overnight. You're getting home and you're having dinner with your, your wife and your kids and you're having some family time and you're decompressing. You're watching freaking Sanford and son, dude.

Shawn (07:36.913)
Yeah.

Shawn (07:44.763)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Shawn (07:52.328)
Yeah.

Fred (07:53.11)
And so life was a lot different. Now it's like you're just being force fed all this stuff. And so, you know, when's enough enough, we got to kind of cut back some of that stuff. You know, everybody wants to be connected. Everybody wants to be seen, but at the same time, we got to realize how toxic that stuff can be. And we were talking about this a little while ago. I sent you a, when I was wasting time on Instagram, I sent you that video of, you know, the Apple logo and there's a bite out of it.

Shawn (08:09.919)
share.

Shawn (08:20.7)
Yeah.

Fred (08:23.558)
And so Adam and Eve, you know, that's what happened. It was a demise of I think you put. Yeah.

Shawn (08:28.243)
downfall of humanity where they went from a perfect garden, the Garden of Eden, they were instructed you can have this whole garden do not touch and eat this fruit. Okay, so Eve eats the apple, takes a bite out of it. Here we are. But you posed a good question. Do you think Steve Jobs had that in mind? The apple, like what was his intention for creating that logo? And um.

Fred (08:45.176)
Yeah.

Fred (08:56.646)
did I it all as I know is that it there had to be some intention in creating that logo. But what I was telling you earlier when we were offline is that I think.

Shawn (09:02.204)
Ahem.

Fred (09:08.986)
Steve Jobs brilliance. You know, we know Wozniak was the genius behind putting this all together. So so hats off to was. But at the same time, Steve Jobs, his magic was him knowing human nature. He knew things that people wanted to connect with. So forms of communication. So you want people want to talk on the phone and they wanted other ways of communicating. So text became like who would have ever thought the text would have taken off versus just making a phone call. So text being able to take photos.

Shawn (09:22.908)
Yeah.

Shawn (09:32.73)
Mm-hmm.

Shawn (09:36.551)
Yeah.

Fred (09:39.18)
share photos, make videos, share videos, listen to music, surf the internet, go on to, you know, sites like YouTube and whatever floats your boat. But I think he knew that if he could tap into that human emotion that he had a tiger by the tail. And that's I, I want to say that that's where it came from.

Shawn (09:59.547)
Do you remember the first time he pitched the idea for the iPhone? He said we have something in the works, we're going to have a phone, it's not going to have any buttons on it. It's just going to be a screen. And the buttons are going to be built in the screen so you're not going to have to go, right? We had the Motorola's or the Blackberry's or the flip phones or whatever. And uh...

Fred (10:19.978)
Right.

Shawn (10:21.607)
You know, he pitched the idea and I remember the audience like gasping going, oh, ha like, yeah, really funny. We're going to be looking at now. Look at your phone. There's no buttons on it, right? There's just, it's just a blank screen and uh, talk about a visionary, but we are, you know, and I shared this with you earlier. I go to school to pick up my girls and I walk up, I don't do the drive up. I walk up cause I like to pick my girls up from school where I go up and see him.

Fred (10:32.087)
Exactly.

Fred (10:38.294)
You know?

Shawn (10:50.547)
There's 75 parents standing in line. 73 of them are staring at their phone. I'm one of them that's not. I'm trying to talk to somebody and the other lady or the other person that's not is a lady you know messing with her kid in a stroller. But everybody's just staring at this piece of metal plastic in front of their face just totally consumed totally consumed.

Fred (11:09.014)
All right.

Shawn (11:16.183)
Disregard humankind, human nature, interaction, has zero concept of, hey, I wanna check on my fellow man or fellow lady. I don't know, man. It's a very crazy time. And thank God for technology, because look where we're at. We literally can run businesses and build multi-million and billion dollar companies off of this smartphone, the supercomputer that's in our pocket. But at the same time, unplug.

Fred (11:40.863)
Right?

Shawn (11:45.243)
I'm Plug. Are you consuming more than you produce?

people consume. We're in an era of complete consumption. We're always consumed, you know, with our phones.

Fred (11:58.102)
Well, yeah. And then it's, and it's the fire hose fricking, you know, delivery. It's like, you know, I've actually taken the approach and we talked about this. I don't know. Just recently is this, you know, as much as I love some of these mentors out there and coaches and you know, we're all part of groups, but at the same time I've had to limit it. You know, like it's, you know, how many times can you be told to do the same thing before you just have to get busy and do it?

Shawn (12:03.58)
Right.

Shawn (12:23.528)
That's right.

Fred (12:23.646)
And so I'm looking at the personal accountability, you know. And so when I, when I feel that I'm, I'm being consumed by these things, I needed to like back off of them, you know? So I would listen to probably two podcasts a day. Now I'm listening to maybe two podcasts a week. You know, you kind of, you kind of kicked it off for me. There was a good one from Ed, my let, and they came out in another one that was, uh, I want to say it was Andy for sell if I'm not mistaken, but, um,

Shawn (12:38.952)
now.

Shawn (12:42.783)
Yeah.

Shawn (12:49.212)
It was. It was Andy and Ed. I sent you.

Fred (12:51.718)
So, but either way, you know, you know, I use them sparingly because I really want to take and digest, you know, and I think Alex Ramozi probably put it the best he goes, regardless of how many books you read, it's the ones that you take action on those lessons. That's where that's the most valuable book you can read is the one you're going to take action on. So the number of them is one thing. But take action on is more important. But

Shawn (13:15.271)
Well the old saying, right, knowledge is power is a false statement. It's the application of knowledge is what makes you powerful. It's going, you know, so you could read a thousand books, but if you don't put into practice any of the things that you read in those thousand books, are you really truly powerful or do you just have a bunch of knowledge that you're not doing anything with?

Fred (13:17.549)
Yep.

Fred (13:22.382)
Yeah, it truly is.

Fred (13:36.562)
Yeah, you know, it's interesting about that statement while I agree with it. It's kind of interesting because you're through life, who will present you with opportunities to use some of those little nuggets. And I think that's where you and I have been, especially, you know, we've been learning from them over the years, but I would think really over the last two years, we've really been at keying in on, Hey, this really applies to me. This is where I'm at. And this is what I need to do to get to the next step. And while there's been some stumbles and fumbles along the way,

Shawn (13:45.638)
Mm-hmm.

Fred (14:06.086)
Isn't us the wherewithal to make better decisions? You know, because there's there can be life can be frightening sometimes and you think the sky is falling. And it may very well be falling. But at what speed is it going to crush you and kill you? Or is it just, is it coming down slowly and you know, you need to take action and do something to protect yourself? Or, you know, pivot. And so anyways, I Yeah, I agree with you 100%. You know, consumption is one thing taking action is another.

Shawn (14:27.283)
Right.

Fred (14:34.922)
But it's nice to have those little nuggets stored away that, you know, go, you know what? It's like it's like all the cliche sayings that the old guys would tell you, you know, you know, now that I'm talking about, I can't think of any, but.

Shawn (14:46.057)
Yeah.

Fred (14:51.698)
Well, like use it or lose it, you know, when you're young, you know, the older guys are always telling you when you're young and athlete, you're like, dude, my hamstrings killing me. I was doing these sprints and blah, blah. There are way to your age. And then they're like, then the other old guy chimes in and goes, you know, you got to use it or lose it because it's, you know, atrophy. And it's freaking true as hell. So you think you hurt now stop working out and then send me 10x. That's the 10x program from Sean and Fred. It's not Gary

Shawn (15:03.516)
Yeah.

Shawn (15:09.255)
It's true.

It is.

Shawn (15:21.223)
right or grant card on right 10 extra life

Fred (15:24.964)
Don't use it. You're going to 10x it in a negative way. Don't do anything and just sit there. So anyways.

Shawn (15:28.07)
Right.

Well, we are in November and it is Movember. Movember, however you wanna pronounce it. And it's.

Fred (15:40.246)
But it's mustache month, right? That's when everybody grows their mustaches out.

Shawn (15:43.299)
It's no-shave November, but it's also, um... Uh, what's the word?

Um, raises awareness about men's health. Not so much mental health, although that's included, but men's health. And I think it's something that's

overlooked and taken for granted. I know in my myself I've taken my health for granted. All right let me rephrase that. I took there was a season where I took my health for granted. Just like you said oh I'm always going to be young. I'm always going to have this. I can go and do and party and drink and yada and we were talking about the other day. We just can't do that anymore because it hurts too bad to recover. It takes too long to recover and uh

the juice isn't worth the squeeze for me anymore, you know? And so, you know, you gotta get up and move. You gotta get up and do stuff and take action. And that's what we talk about a lot on our show, is taking action. Be intentional, be authentic, and take action. We just got been saying it. You know, there's some interesting stats that I was reading about this and I'll...

Fred (16:34.935)
Same here, 100%.

Shawn (17:00.091)
I'll share them with our listeners. I shared them with you earlier, but 6 million males are affected by depression in the US every year. 80% of the suicides that occur are done by males, four times higher than women. So the suicide rate for men are four times greater than women. And men's life expectancy is five years less than women. Women's is, what did I say, 81?

Fred (17:28.002)
Yeah, and I'm in 75. I'm.

Shawn (17:29.827)
75 it's 74 75 76 something like that and you know a lot 76 to 81 that's what it is 81 for women and 76 for men but I had a I've been thinking about this and you know I lost my cousin here a couple weeks ago and we had his service last week and I was asked to speak at his service and

He wasn't just my cousin. He was 14 years older than me. So he was 64. He was 64 because I'm turning 50 in December. But he wasn't just my cousin. He was my brother. He was my older brother than I ever never had. And I had a lot of my firsts in life with him. My first set of stitches I got. He took me to the to the hospital.

Fred (17:58.509)
How old was he by the way?

Fred (18:04.106)
Okay.

Shawn (18:25.959)
You know, they put that was hysterical and they, I was in kindergarten or preschool. And I got hit in the head with the gate. I was running on recess and going to get a bike and somebody opened the gate and slammed me in the head and split my head open. So they called my dad and my dad and my cousin show up and you know, he was probably, well, let's see, he was 18 and I was probably four. And they took me to the hospital and they had to put me in a straight jacket to give me stitches.

And my cousin Darren said, hey, take my cousin out of that straight jacket. He's like, let me talk to him. So he comes in there and he's like, hey, cuz he's like, I got you. Stop crying. After we're done getting your stitches, I'll take you and I'll get you a prize. And so I sat in his lap and they stitched me up. And it's funny, he actually took my stitches out.

for me later on because I didn't want to go back to the doctor so I don't know four or six weeks later he takes my stitches out but you know I had my first ticket when I was 12 years old with him I was riding a jet ski and I got a ticket for

Fred (19:28.17)
Oh wow.

Shawn (19:28.475)
making a wake in a no wake zone, you know, and he's sitting on shore and the sheriff pulls me over. I actually got two tickets because I had no fire extinguisher on the jet ski and I was jumping the buoy and making a wake in a no wake zone. So the sheriff pulls me over and I'm crying. I'm like 14 years old, 12 years old, and I'm crying and he's on shore just cracking up. And he took me to my court date, you know. My first car accident I got went in when I was 16.

We didn't have cell phones. I had to go into Chapman Chevrolet and call my dad. And he's my dad and my cousin Darren came down and my mom. But Darren said that's why they call them accidents. He didn't mean to do it. You know so I lost my cousin who was my brother but he is he had battled addiction for so long and he got clean and sober. Then he was diagnosed with prostate cancer and um

Yeah, he turned back to alcohol and drugs and he couldn't beat it. And so he just, he hit a point to where he went into heart failure and cirrhosis of the liver and whatnot. So passed away a couple of weeks ago, but you know, just thinking about us men, do we really have an outlet or let me rephrase that. Do we utilize and take the outlets that we have?

to reach out and say, hey, I'm battling some shit. I'm battling some mental health, I'm battling some depression, I'm stressed out, anxiety, whatever the fuck you wanna call it. And I think men don't do that because they're either A, too proud, too prideful, or B, ashamed, or C, they don't wanna come across as weak. But I'm thankful for, you know, I have three.

Fred (21:00.526)
Yep.

Fred (21:12.694)
Yep.

Shawn (21:18.867)
great friends that I are my brothers. I have you, you know, as one of them. But if I'm ever going through some shit, I'll pick up the phone. You know, I'll pick up the phone and I'll call. I'll be like, yo, I need it. I need an ear. I need I need your ear for a bit. Because I'm going through some shit. You know. I don't know. I know. I know you've been going through some stuff too. And we spoke earlier and you were sharing with me.

Fred (21:42.358)
Yeah, but that, yeah. So I think that, you know, all those things that you had mentioned is the way people don't, or men don't reach out. And I think equally women reach out in a different way, but I don't think people are, is willing to be vulnerable. That's one of the challenges that people have is to be vulnerable, be your honest, open self. Um, there's a stigma that comes on both sides, but since we're talking about the men,

but the male side of it today, you know, there's a stigma around masculinity. You know, so I think there's, there's a challenge in this world. Like, um, we, this last can, you know, we had daylight savings time. So my goal was to get another bike ride in. We like to go to the beach and ride up to the, the local

I don't know. There's Ojai from Ventura to Ojai. It's about a 15 mile ride each way. And so we did this ride, but we do it with some good friends of ours, you know, a couple of families. But it's interesting because we're all in the same age bracket. You know, we all have the same reflections on life. We've all dealt with similar situations, life, death, you know, trying to be a good parent, put enough away for retirement, make sure you leave something for your kids. All those things that we have incredible conversations and.

Shawn (22:43.091)
Right.

Fred (23:02.786)
You know, there's a certain amount of pride and there's a certain amount of figure it out, but it's interesting because one of the dads I was talking to one of my good friends, um, we're like, there's all these great methods to do things, but we're like, Oh, who, you know, you, you can go to church and you're going to get some wisdom, you know? And, um,

Shawn (23:20.735)
Mm-hmm.

Fred (23:22.87)
But there's good churches, there's bad churches, there's good coaches, there's bad coaches. Well, I shouldn't say bad, but not so great. And then there's people that have ulterior motives. You see people that start off great and they turn into this self-fulfilling prophecy in their own mind.

Shawn (23:24.691)
Ahem.

Shawn (23:36.831)
All right.

Fred (23:37.386)
And they come become bigger than life. And all of a sudden it's about how much money can I this make me? I watched a show on TV. There's a evangelist. There's a gal became she started a weight loss program, became an evangelist, started her own church and just became a fucking psycho. She ended up dying in a, in a plane crash, but her ego got so big that she went from doing something that was good and great from the heart to self-fulfilling and the greed took over.

But my point is, is that in these conversations as men and women, you know, we don't have the answers. So one thing I think is wonderful is that we have these podcasts. Now you got to sift through them to see which ones resonate with you and that you feel like there's some true authenticity to the message that comes out. That's the point why we try to keep it real raw and relevant, you know, just the real truth about whatever it is that we're going through. But many of us struggle with these.

Shawn (24:20.553)
Right.

Fred (24:31.67)
these outlets and who to lean on, who can you trust and who's going to, who's going to be there for you without judging, you know, this, uh, this whole stigma around masculinity now has just been, you know, I know it's part of the narrative, but it's stuck with so many, um, it started sticking with people. And so there's some, there's this stigma around toxic masculinity. That's a real thing now, which, you know, and

Shawn (24:40.261)
Right.

Shawn (24:59.188)
Oh fuck that, it's all bullshit.

Fred (25:00.722)
It is bullshit because in my book and we had to add this conversation over the weekend is that there's a place for men. There's a place for women, a mom, a dad, the children and the dads rule, you know, for lack of a better term, let's just say they rule with an iron fist because their dads. There's not a lot of wiggle room. It's black and it's white.

The moms will rule some moms are ass kickers. They, they go with the iron fist 10 X what dad can do. But most moms are very empathetic, compassionate, and

Shawn (25:30.629)
nurturing.

Fred (25:31.698)
nurturing and a little bit more emotionally involved, you know, so that can be a good thing to bathing. It's all in moderation. But I think that, you know, at the end of the day, the kids are the ones who are going to experience that they need to know that, you know, the line in the sand with dad is over here. The line in sand with mom's over there as a little bit wider. And sometimes it backfires, you know, there's like, and then, you know, the parents get frustrated, but at the same time,

Shawn (25:58.046)
Ahem.

Fred (25:59.422)
You know, some of its human nature, you know, cause that's just how men and women are wired. And that's not all men and women exactly the same, but for the, for the most part, but now we're getting our kids influenced by this narrative that's out there. And, um, we, uh, we, we went to a wedding shower, which I've never been to a wedding shower. And this topic came up that, um, this young gal, she's getting married. And.

She doesn't want her father to walk her down the aisle because there's the stigma about him giving her away as a possession. I'm thinking, I know you, Sean. I know me, dude. I would be devastated. I couldn't, I couldn't do it.

Shawn (26:31.333)
Wow.

Shawn (26:44.775)
So who's she gonna have walk her down the aisle? She's just gonna do this journey solo give herself away

Fred (26:46.806)
Nobody. She's not being given. She's not. She believes that she's not being given away. You know, she's not going to be given away. I'm like, it's not. It's not about that. That's getting in your blessing. That's a different, you know, but then it goes back into this rabbit hole. Right now, we're talking about faith. We're talking about God. We're talking about your father who has worked his fingers to the bone to make sure you have a roof over your head. Your father and your mother, you know, for that case.

But it's, it's one of those proud parent moments when you get to walk down the aisle with your daughter, we were like, Whoa, I'm like, I just, I couldn't believe I heard, especially cause there's such down to earth, normal people like you and I, but this, the people, the kids have been indoctrinated with this, with this garbage. I'm like, come on, you know, it's like, I guarantee, I can't guarantee, but

Shawn (27:36.839)
That's exactly what I was getting ready to say. Yeah.

Fred (27:45.574)
I would look back on that and think of wow, how short side I've done other things that I you know, we would have done differently in the past and we're not even close to that. And I felt bad about like

Shawn (27:56.079)
Yeah and that's your moral compass Fred. I mean you could say oh well that's old fashion. It's not old fashion. Look you have a son and a daughter. I have two daughters. They are equally half of you and half of your wife Denise. Without you those kids wouldn't be here. Without Denise those kids wouldn't be here. As the husband the father's role is stated to you know I like what Garrett said.

Men were expected to hunt the buffalo, go kill the buffalo, bring the buffalo home and provide for the family. The buffalo being food, money, provision. Provision. That's the man's responsibility. Does that mean that the woman's place is in the home and you can't leave the home and keep your ass in the kitchen and you cook and you clean? No, that's not what we're saying. Can women get out and work? Absolutely. But we do have clearly defined roles in today's...

Fred (28:32.769)
Right.

Fred (28:36.159)
Yep.

Shawn (28:53.331)
society, not just today's society, but it's been that way for thousands of years. And so you know we talk about equality, you know, look we can be equal. Women and men can be equal, but we cannot be the same because like Garrett said too, a penis and a vagina will never be the same. But men and women can be equal, but they will never be the same in terms of their roles. Sometimes

There has to be dual roles. I'm a single dad and I have to step up to the plate in ways that I understand and I know I'm gonna be inadequate. I cannot provide things to my girls no matter how hard I try. I can't provide what their mothers can provide and what those girls need from their moms, right? And so...

Fred (29:42.388)
Right.

Shawn (29:46.727)
When it comes wedding day...

Shawn (29:51.147)
I'm damn well gonna be walking my girls down the aisle. That's just how it is. And you know, well, I, you know, I don't understand. I would have to sit down and hear this girl's logic and her thought process, but I guarantee you, it's complete indoctrination. That's what it comes down.

Fred (29:54.926)
Yeah, I would be in trouble if I didn't do that.

Fred (30:12.822)
Yeah. And I've heard it. I've heard it time and time again, because, you know, most of the people that we hang out with are, are very similar to us, you know, they're, and, um, but you hear some of these parents, they send their kids off to college and they come back and they're completely different. Some of them have gone back to their normal ways. Once they have graduated,

Shawn (30:20.035)
Yeah, sure.

Fred (30:33.366)
But some of them come home with through COVID. They were terrified of every germ wearing masks and cleaning the groceries before they would touch them with, you know, alcohol wipes and then drag them in and separate bags and everything was quarantine. Like, dude, somebody scared the fuck out of these kids. It is chaos. So it's just a shame because I know how important it is to these particular individuals. But I, you know, at the end of the day, I guess I got to respect her wishes, but

Shawn (30:49.407)
It's chaos. Right.

Fred (31:02.666)
Yeah, that's to me. To me, it's unfortunate and sad, but it is what it is.

Shawn (31:08.399)
It is sad, but I mean, how do you think that father feels? You know that father, how do you think he feels? Devastated?

Fred (31:13.574)
I think he feels horrible and he's a good, he's a, he's a outstanding dad, outstanding, like, you know, and I, this, I, I'm surprised he couldn't come to terms on, maybe they didn't want to fight it too hard, but I don't know. Maybe they did. Maybe they didn't, but, um, you know, that's, that's just the, that's a reflection of our society today and what's being put out there and how things can be misconstrued. So yeah, it's a shame. Um,

But I want to keep going down some of this, you know, the topics on this list for, cause I think those, those stats that you threw out there, 6 million men suffer from depression daily or annually, and then 80% of the freaking suicides are men. Now we've had experience with a few of those situations, suicides that have come up as a result of depression and not being able to get these things fixed. I think that, you know, some of the men feel like

You know, the, the reason most people do is because they feel like they're alone and that there's no outlet and people need to realize that there is an outlet and there is help, but you have to be willing to ask for it or accept some help, you know? And so there's just too many men holding this inside clearly based on the numbers. And this is no joke. Though, when you told me that earlier floored me, I'm like, you gotta be kidding me, 6 million men a year suffer from depression. But.

Shawn (32:30.864)
Yeah.

Shawn (32:38.463)
But suicide rate is four times higher in men than it is women. 80% of the suicides are done by men. That's staggering. You line up 10 people that commit suicide and eight of those 10 are done by men. That's horrible. And you know, think about that though. I mean, let's sit there for a second on the suicide. Have I ever been in such a deep, dark place that I ever thought about suicide?

Fred (32:53.142)
Yeah, it is horrible. So.

Shawn (33:09.899)
Never thought about going through the motions or the actual act of suicide, but there has been times in my life where I thought, you know what, I can't do this. This world would be better off if I'm not here. It's a long time ago when I thought this. I remember having the conversation with my mom. I was probably.

Shawn (33:30.431)
26, five, six, I was just in a real dark place. And I was talking to my mom, this is crazy. I remember it just like it was yesterday. I was talking to my mom on the phone and she said, "'What is wrong with you? "'You haven't been the same for quite a while, "'several months.'" And I was like, I'm just going through some shit. And I remember crying on the phone and she's like, "'I'm coming over and I'm getting you "'and we're gonna talk.'"

Fred (33:35.799)
That's wild.

Shawn (34:00.767)
I said, all right, mom, and I pushed it. I said, no, I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it. Well, finally she said, I'm coming over. We're talking. So we're sitting in her, her escalade and we're driving. And she was like, you want to go somewhere and eat or you want to just, I said, no, you want to talk. So let's just talk. I don't feel like being around anybody. And she's like, well, what is it? And I was like, I got it. I want to tell you something, but I don't know how to tell you. And she just leaned over and she put her hand on my arm. She goes, are you gay?

Fred (34:32.909)
She called it.

Shawn (34:34.135)
I said, no mom, I am not gay. She's like, if you're gay, it's all right, honey. I'm still going to love you. I said, mom, I'm not gay. That's not what I was talking about. And I remember that was the first time I laughed and I don't know, a couple of weeks or something, you know, and leave it to my mom. But I said, no, you know, that's not what I want to talk to you about because I'm not gay and I can't even believe you'd think that. And she said, well, what is it? And I said,

Fred (34:48.364)
right?

Shawn (35:00.811)
I don't want to live anymore. And that dude, I remember the look on her face and that crushed my mom and she just bawled, you know, and she said, don't ever talk like that. There's nothing that you have done or any point in your life that you're too far gone that you should ever think about suicide or killing yourself. And I, that was a punch in the gut for me because

Fred (35:08.364)
Oh yeah.

Shawn (35:28.503)
Even if I would have thought long and hard about doing, you know, committing suicide, what kind of turmoil would I have left behind for my family, for my mom, for my dad, for my grandparents? Right? And even now, going through some shit, some hard stuff, it never once crossed my mind, but if I would ever go through that, what would my little girls think? How would that, you know, how could those little girls be like,

Fred (35:40.279)
Yeah. How selfish is that? I mean that

Shawn (35:57.939)
Dad said he would always do whatever it took to provide for us and he would always be here. And then I commit suicide. That would just break these little girls. But it is a real thing.

Fred (36:12.03)
Oh, it is a very real thing. That's, um, we had a, we, we talked about where I talked about it on one of our shows early on, but you know, we had experienced why I'd picked my son up from a friend's house. And, um, one of the neighbors, kids that they played with his father, the kid's father made a failed attempt at, at taking his own life and he slit his wrists and they caught, they found him before he passed. Thank God. But the, the mom was so upset.

that the son and the daughter had to go clean up the mess. And my son was just besides himself. We're driving home, you know, and he didn't see it, thank God, but he was in the proximity of it and seeing the facial expressions and how disturbed the family was, very real. And he's asking me on the drive home, dad, why would somebody wanna take their own life?

Shawn (36:55.729)
Right.

It was real for him.

Fred (37:08.094)
you know, because he's a young kid, he's probably 13 years, about 13 at the time. And I'm like, I go, people think they have a word of turn and whatever they've done is so bad that

them being here is a better option than not being here. And I go, and I told him, I go, just for the record, I go, I don't care, just like your mom told you, there is nothing you can do that you cannot share with me. Your mom and I and your sister are always an ear for you, no matter how bad you think it is.

Shawn (37:24.008)
Right.

Fred (37:39.434)
Do yourself the favor and share it with us. Get it off your chest. Get some help. You know, we're here to talk to you and you know, that's what parents are for. I go, but I go, it's I don't. I'm not glad that you saw it, but I'm glad that you saw you or experienced this in a sense because there's nothing you can do in this world that you should feel that bad for.

Shawn (37:59.219)
That's right.

Fred (37:59.658)
you know, and there maybe there is, but I go, it's pretty rare and pretty awkward, but I go, don't hold those things inside because, you know, we're here for you, for you no matter what. And so we took it as a learning, you know, opportunity, you know, just like you had that moment with your mom, but I was like, yeah, sometimes you don't want you like some, most parents have been furious that their kid was exposed to a situation like that. And while I wasn't happy,

I'm okay. He's asking good questions. So let's take the opportunity for, you know, this lesson to stick. And we do have those moments like, you know, we've had some other incidents that have happened, unfortunately to friends, some of his friends lost her father. And we've had moments where it's like, dad, I don't want you to ever to leave. I love you. You know what I mean? And it's not, it's not just saying it. It's fricking like hugging you. Like, you know, it's

It's unreal, but, but that's, that's the importance of being, being open, being vulnerable, being transparent with your kids to a degree. You don't have to tell them everything, but at the same time, there's gotta be enough communication in there for us as men between our families, between our friend groups and your friend group. Think about it. You know, you said you got three guys, you know, that are, you're close, you know, you can tell some I have

Shawn (38:52.592)
Ahem.

Fred (39:21.43)
two, maybe I got three, including you, you know, so I'm like, boom, it's three, that's the number. And those guys, like, you know, I can call any one of you with anything that's going on.

You know, and it's not going to be fucking joke time or let's make fun of you. It's freaking real. You know, we're men, we're adults and all these things I'm looking at on this list. So from masculinity, depression, anxiety, suicide, substance abuse, PTSD, work related stress, you know, fatherhood. It's these are all real things that, that we deal with on a day to day basis. And I think about it this way.

Shawn (39:38.184)
Right.

Fred (39:56.69)
So out of all the things I've read up here and there's another page full of them, social isolation, communication, or communication skills, mental health, cultural, there's salty sink. So, but you take on any given day, you're probably exposed to five, seven, tenet ease and the compound. Um, I think, was it you and I were, no, I was talking to a, another friend of mine earlier this morning and he made that he used this term called

Shawn (40:07.123)
Yeah.

Fred (40:26.075)
microvibes.

Shawn (40:28.072)
Hmm.

Fred (40:29.226)
And I'm like, micro vibes. I've never heard anybody use that term, but we were talking about, you know, just getting your losing yourself in social media or these time wasters that we have all around us, but you think about it. So all these things I just read off as little micro vibes. So these little negative nuggets that are being put in your brain, put in your brain, put in your brain. So you're on social media for an hour.

You're throughout the day, maybe you're on for two hours, but you've implanted all this shit into your head as micro vibes, but even they don't seem harmless in one single micro vibe, but you put 10 or 15 of those in the place. That's what. Now you have a negative impact on.

Shawn (40:56.553)
Right.

Shawn (41:04.671)
compounds.

Fred (41:07.358)
You know, it's no different than you being in line with the girls, you know, pick up your kids from school and all these people will put little micro vibes in their head. You know what the haves the have nots, how come these people are always on vacation? They have more than we do. You know, she's skinny, he's fat, whatever, you know, these are all the little things that go through your head all day, every day. And they just accumulate, you know, when the reality is you're going to turn that shit off. You got to get to back to being human and

Shawn (41:33.788)
Yeah.

Fred (41:34.782)
sharing experiences. That's why I enjoy our weekend. Like when we have with our good friends, you know, it's like, I don't know. It's empowering because you realize that you're not alone in this game. They have the same, you know, they have the same experiences that they go through on a day to day basis with it, with their work, with their spouses, you know, and it's like, hey,

Shawn (41:48.511)
Same shit. Damn it.

Yeah.

Fred (41:57.226)
But we talk about it, we get it off our chest and you feel a more, you feel more normal when you come back. You know what I mean? You're like, thank God I have these good friends that we can have open, honest, candid conversations and get some, you know, validation for what we're doing or not doing.

Shawn (42:02.171)
Yeah, right.

Shawn (42:13.511)
Yeah, and you know, there's something to be said about frequency. Like what kind of frequency are you operating at? If you're operating at a high frequency, you're going to be in that flow state. Ed Mylett talks about this a lot. So does Dr. Joe Dispenza. It's, it's a, it sounds a lot. It sounds very woo mundo foo fooey, but there's a lot to be said about low frequency, low producers, high frequency, high producers.

Fred (42:29.891)
Hmm.

Shawn (42:43.179)
that micro vibe when you're talking about that makes a lot of sense because you're putting you're just being consumed with negativity and woe is me and it's that old you know heard this parable I'm sure you've heard it too but kids talking to his Indian grandfather and his grandfather was talking about the two wolves and he said son there's a there's a good wolf that

and he's fighting for you. And this wolf is wanting you to be great and to do great. All the great things, you know, that's the good wolf. And the bad wolf or the angry wolf, he's inside of you too. And he's trying to pull you down. He doesn't want you to succeed. He wants you to go the other way. And the grandson says, grandfather, which wolf wins? And the grandfather says, whichever wolf you feed.

Fred (43:37.838)
Yeah, it's a great.

Shawn (43:40.219)
That's an old parable. And it's so true. You know, what are we feeding ourself? You know, one of my very best friends, Tyson, he's got two kids, two sons, beautiful boys. And one's two years old and the other one's about 10 months old. So they're Irish twins basically. And he'll call me and we literally talk every single day, sometimes two or three times a day. Might be two minutes, might be 22 minutes.

But he'll call and he's like, dude, I don't know what to do. I just don't know how we're going to make it. My poor wife, these boys are driving her crazy. I'm at work all day and I come home. And when I get home, I'm on dad duty and she's got to go take a nap. You know? I said, I get it, man. I get it. You know? And he's like, how do you do it? I said, you just keep going, brother. You just keep going. You know, not that I have all the answers, because I never raised boys. I raised two girls. But the point is, is he's reaching out.

Fred (44:23.735)
Right?

Shawn (44:38.743)
one father to another father saying holy shit how am I gonna make it you know I'm but I've been out hunting the buffalo all day and now I got to go home and I got to get on dad duty I just want to go home and kick my feet up and turn on the ESPN or watch some UFC fights and have a beer but that's what that's the importance of having a brotherhood or a group you know there's an old saying that says a three-fold accord is not easily broken meaning you got you and

Fred (44:52.831)
right?

Shawn (45:08.651)
that's your that's your group and if you have a three-fold chord can be broke very easily if there's just two of you something happens to one of you guess what there's no there's no community it's just one without the other but if there's three you know importance of brotherhood and our female listeners too it's important that you ladies have a support group where you have your

Fred (45:16.491)
Right.

Shawn (45:38.131)
your people that you can lean on, your tribe. It's important.

Fred (45:43.53)
Yeah. You know, one of the things that's been super helpful over the years, and I don't remember who said it, but it's when you think about the things that you have to do that you have to do that, you know, like him getting home and having to take the boys, you know, when you look, yeah, when you look at it as if you get to do that, it changes the whole dynamic, you know, of the situation because you get to do that. And that's why, you know, like I look at some things that we do are hard.

Shawn (45:56.944)
Mm-hmm. Now we're going with this and this is powerful.

Mm-hmm.

Shawn (46:09.192)
Hmm

Fred (46:13.858)
But we get to do, there's gonna be a day when you're too old, too weak, too frail, too whatever, or people's life too busy for you, you know? So you get to spend time.

with those boys that are being rambunctious and have worn mom out. But you know, our kids are, are grown now. Your kids are still little, but you fricking miss those times, man. Like when you get home from work and you got to fricking get them buttoned up to go to soccer practice or, you know, we got to go to the ranch so they can ride horses or whatever. It's like, dude, you don't have the, you don't have any more gas in the tank. And you're like, screw it. I got to do this. You know? So you just, you just suck it up and go, you know, because you get to go do that. You know, it's like, Hey, do you want to be a,

Shawn (46:27.853)
Mm-hmm.

Shawn (46:49.299)
Yeah.

Fred (46:54.66)
an assistant coach on the team is like, well, in reality, I don't really have time. But then again, time stands still for no one. So yes, I want to be an assistant coach on the team. I don't know shit about soccer. I don't know shit about baseball. I know some, but not enough. But, uh, anyways, I want to be there, you know, because it's, you know, you just suck it up and go on it. Somehow. The more you take on it all finds its way into the fricking daily routine, right?

Shawn (47:04.774)
Yeah.

Right. Yeah.

Shawn (47:21.619)
Yeah.

Fred (47:22.366)
And then you blink your eyes before you know it's over. I wish we were freaking gearing up to go to a soccer practice, soccer game, or go to a competition at the ranch. I'm like, those are some of the best times we've ever had. You're seeing your kids like firsthand, you know, learn, develop, excel, do the things that, you know, you want, you don't want to miss. So we get to do those things. So flip the script and take the trip.

Shawn (47:43.643)
Yeah.

Shawn (47:48.667)
Yeah, have to versus get to, because it is an honor to be able to get to be these girls dead. It is an honor to get to take these girls to gymnastics or to take them to the Arizona State Fair or to take them to a birthday party or two birthday parties in one day. You know, it's an honor that I get to, not I have to do it. It's not an obligation, it's an honor, right? It's good, man.

Fred (48:14.89)
Yeah, I agree. I think our internet connection or yours on the other side, you you're back. I got some, I got, I knew what you were saying, but I got some broken up words. It's not like you're an alien. What, what planet are you on earthlings? No, but I think it's all good stuff in the, you know, this, uh,

Shawn (48:16.031)
It's good stuff.

Shawn (48:19.803)
I'm back.

Shawn (48:25.918)
I might be part alien. I don't know shit

Shawn (48:31.355)
Sometimes I don't even know, dude. I don't even know.

Fred (48:38.558)
mental health awareness, you know, those are all the things that we, you know, a lot of it's the positive or negative talk that we put in our heads, you know, and flipping the script. A lot of time, I know it for me, it's helped me a lot. You know, we get to, we get to teach these lessons. We get to be, we get to be patient. We get to be kind, but it's a learned behavior because it's very easy to get triggered and in exhaust. When you're exhausted, it's easier to get triggered and go off the handle. You know, and I, that used to be

Shawn (48:58.963)
Sure.

Shawn (49:02.831)
Yeah.

Fred (49:05.802)
I'd be great until I wasn't. And then all the shit hit the fan. And so, you know, I've had a couple of incidents over the last few weeks where I could have been that guy again. I don't want to be that guy again. I don't like being that. I don't like how I, my family's affected when I am that guy that goes into freaking AWOL mode, you know, and don't want to do that. I don't like being around it either, you know? And so, but it's a flip in the script is probably one of the best tools that you have.

Shawn (49:27.112)
Yeah.

Fred (49:34.958)
Instead of have to you get to, um, you know, and I think it's going to, it helps you get through using these things, but you know, be, be open with those friends, the friends that you do have that are in that circle, cherish them, treat them with respect, do right by them. And then, um, you know, cause, cause you don't, it's, it's not, I, I guarantee you most people don't have three or four people and their immediate circle that you have that relationship with, you know,

Shawn (49:36.824)
Mm-hmm.

Uh-huh.

Shawn (49:51.975)
Be there for them, equally.

Fred (50:04.617)
And I'm.

Shawn (50:06.62)
One thing my uncle told me this a long time ago, he was a pastor. In fact he was the father of my cousin that just passed. He told me, hey when you're going through some hard stuff the best way to overcome what you're going through is to pour into somebody else. Pour into somebody else's life. Be there for somebody. Go to a food bank.

Fred (50:27.373)
right?

Shawn (50:33.043)
Go donate your time at a soup kitchen.

Fred (50:35.606)
Yeah.

Shawn (50:39.247)
and others. My cousin Darren, that the one that passed, we would, he was a foodie and we'd go eat. Love to go eat with him. We'd sit and just break bread. He'd call and say cuz you want to go break bread? Love to go camping, love to go eat and uh...

We'd always order way too much food and deliberately. And he was like, let's go bless some people. And we'd just have all this leftover food. And he wanted to go pass it out to the homeless. And we'd sit and we would sit and rap with the homeless and talk. We wouldn't just hand them the food. We would sit and talk with them. Tell me about your life. Tell me who you are. Where are you from? And we'd sit there and just rap with people, you know.

Fred (51:15.838)
That's so cool. They're right.

Shawn (51:25.355)
And I got so much out of that, that really ministered to me, really spoke to me a lot, because that was just the type of person my cousin was.

Fred (51:34.894)
He's he sounds like an amazing individual. I'm bummed that I didn't get to meet him before his time. But I mean the wisdom the wisdom he had early on, you know, just handling situations with you as a young boy to Having a perspective and that at the same time gets my mind a little tangled up, you know, when Somebody has that wisdom that charisma that caring, nurturing side of them and then get caught up in this

Shawn (51:39.133)
Yeah.

But for.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Shawn (52:00.209)
Yeah.

Fred (52:03.698)
You know, I think it's a result of not, you know, I don't know. I don't, I don't know what it is exactly, but

Shawn (52:09.507)
Addiction is, I mean, you know, you've been around it. I've been around it. People that are addicted to alcohol, drugs, one of the other, both, doesn't matter how good of a circle you have around you, that circle helps, but at the end of the day, you have to ultimately wanna break that addiction and give up that addiction. And I think that addiction was so strong, yeah.

Fred (52:34.686)
Yeah, I know for yeah, I know for me personally, yeah, for me personally, the, the word addiction is that I stay away from that stuff. Well, I, I drink alcohol, but I respect, I respect it, but it, and it's not one of those things. I think there are certain drugs that I tried. I was always, I always have the fear in the back of my mind that I'm going to really like it. I was in the, I had a bad skiing accident when I was a kid.

Shawn (52:44.383)
Thanks for watching!

Shawn (52:47.911)
But you're not an addict. Yeah.

Shawn (52:58.033)
Mm-hmm.

Fred (53:02.89)
I was probably 17, 18 hours. Like it was 18 and, um, I was in the hospital. I literally tore three of the ligaments out of my knee pop to one was, yeah, snow skiing. Thought I was Glenn Plake. I think, I don't know. But anyways, um, I was in the hospital. I remember giving me this morphine pump and dude, I was on, I was flying. I literally hit the button.

Shawn (53:13.087)
It's snow skiing.

Fred (53:27.754)
And I was, I was saying, I was flying through the sky. I was doing the most rockle shit. I'm like, Oh my God. It was on a timer, right? And so I couldn't wait till the next dose was ready. And I'm like, dude, I could be. I could, and it was like as cool as it was, I was in a controlled environment and obviously didn't have access to it. Thank God. But when it came for opportunities, you do drugs later with my friends or people that I knew.

Shawn (53:37.213)
Mm-hmm.

Shawn (53:46.768)
Yeah.

Fred (53:54.758)
I was like, no, because if I like it, like I like morphine, he's going to be a train wreck. You know, as a matter of fact, when I might good friends, I grew up with in high school and I feel bad for him. He's, he went down that drug road, you know, when I, once I left town and I just watch his life just deteriorate. He actually just got out of the hospital yesterday and they had to amputate his foot because as a result of diabetes and all these, you know, years and years and years of drug abuse.

Shawn (53:59.771)
Sure.

Shawn (54:17.523)
Oh, man.

Fred (54:23.658)
And while I, my heart goes out to him and like, dude, you can't do that shit. I've been telling you that from day one, because you're, you got to be careful with that shit, because if you fall in love with it, it will destroy you. It will, you know, you've seen it. I mean, we've all seen it right now. Always. So, but thank God for your cousin, Darren, being who he was throughout your life and leaving that impression, because regardless of what, you know, took him.

Shawn (54:33.279)
That's right.

Shawn (54:37.359)
Yeah.

Shawn (54:40.648)
Yeah.

Fred (54:50.022)
You still got that in your heart. So so that's what you can ask for, right? So one of the.

Shawn (54:54.427)
Absolutely. Grateful and honored to be, to have that influence in my life. But you know back to our topic of men's health awareness. You know if you guys are going through something and not just the men women too, but if you're going through something reach out. Reach out to somebody. Reach out to Fred and I. I don't care. Reach out. I would rather hear your problems than read about you not being around. Like not to sound cliche. I would rather

Fred (55:16.622)
Yep, I agree.

Shawn (55:23.399)
be an ear to listen to somebody going through some hard shit or needing something as opposed to saying hey here's one more person that succumbed to suicide. Or they gave up.

Fred (55:32.466)
Yeah. I know the other thing too, is it, I never looked at situations this way, but a lot of times what our mind tells us and what reality truly is, isn't always the fact. But when you're clouded by

Shawn (55:45.183)
That's right.

Fred (55:47.734)
this you know how you lose your keys or you lose your wallet and you instantly go into this like state of freaking shock and you can't see your keys they're right in front of you because you think you left them I had this happened over the weekend I thought I lost my wallet and we were down at the base of the ride we're 15 miles away now but Denise broke a chain so I had to take all the shit out of my backpack and I thought I left my wallet on the ground where I fixed her bike

Shawn (55:54.236)
Mm-hmm.

Shawn (56:11.749)
Mm-hmm.

Fred (56:12.362)
And like I had that moment hit me. I went boom and I went flush like all this fear and panic anxiety. And it turns out I already put it in my pocket and dude, it took me honest. I got 15 minutes and a delicious beer before it went away, but it was the craziest thing. And so, but the thing is I fabricated that in the matter of split seconds, you know, it was a split second that I boom and it was in my damn pocket, you know, and so.

Shawn (56:16.819)
panic mode.

Shawn (56:29.535)
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

Shawn (56:37.555)
Sure.

Fred (56:42.678)
But it wasn't where I always put it. And I'm I have a habit of putting things in the same exact place. So I don't have to worry about it. And then I'm so anyways, it's good to talk to somebody about those things because a lot of times we fabricate that fear-based decision in our mind when it's not reality, you know, because you can tell me something on you're having a bad day. I'm like with Sean's, you know, did you think about this or

Well, here's a couple, you know, ways to get around that. And I, gosh, I wasn't thinking about that. Cause you're just that moment of panic, right? And that's when you make bad decisions. So talk to your friends.

Shawn (57:16.631)
acronym for acronym for fear face everything and run or false evidence appearing real right

Fred (57:26.17)
Hey, there you go. Absolutely.

Shawn (57:28.723)
Things that like, oh shit, I've had my phone up to my ear before and I'm trying to get out the door. Ireland's like, dad, what are you looking for? I'm like, I can't find my phone. And it's literally on my ear and I'm talking to my mom trying to get out the door. We'll be there in 15 minutes. Come on, let's go girls. Hold on, I can't find, what do you look for? My phone. Dad, it's on the side of your face. I'm like, oh shit. You know, it's just panic mode. But uh.

Fred (57:55.367)
That's good stuff.

Shawn (57:57.063)
Well get out and move ladies and gentlemen, get some exercise, check on your family, check on your friends, check on your loved ones. And if you're going through some shit, reach out. And I think it's very important man. I'm grateful for you Fred, I'm grateful for the brother that you are in my life and for the friend. I'm glad that we got to cross paths eight, nine years ago. And look what we're doing now. And I'm excited about what we're going to be doing in the future and the things we're working on. So...

Fred (58:13.451)
like

Fred (58:19.219)
Absolutely.

Fred (58:26.454)
Exactly. And I think on that note, I, I feel the same way. I appreciate you brother. And the other thing, the other thing is I think that a lot of things, these things aren't by accident, you know, so we cross paths, you cross paths with people at different times of your life. And it's, you know, what you decide to make of it. Um, but you're, you're going to find your truth by being honest, being transparent and being a good friend when you pay it forward. And I think that those are what, you know, we get to do those things.

Shawn (58:35.683)
I agree.

Shawn (58:50.6)
Right.

Fred (58:54.954)
And so, but it pays, you know, not that you're looking for something to pay out, but there's a, there's something that pays a dividend or reciprocates in a way that if you have no deposits, there's nothing to withdraw. And so pour into your friends that you truly care about and keep your circle tight, keep it, you know, keep it effective. And just know those people want to see you succeed and have your back. So

Shawn (59:02.568)
Yeah.

Shawn (59:06.264)
That's right.

Shawn (59:19.295)
That's right.

Fred (59:20.414)
All right, well, I think we're out the we're right at the 59 minute mark and 24 seconds.

Shawn (59:23.759)
Yeah, let's wrap it up. If we brought value to you guys and gals listening, like and share the show. Please tell somebody about the Standford podcast, what Fred and I are doing, because we're really trying to grow this and we have some big things in store for the Standford brand. But for you all, you know, in the future we want, we have a big vision for Standford, Fred and I do. So like and share and we appreciate you. Go ahead, Fred.

Fred (59:50.206)
Okay, on this butt.

I was just saying it's all about helping people get through, get through the next phase and the right way. So anyways, like Sean said, like and share the show and we will catch up with you guys next week.

Shawn (59:55.055)
It is. That's right.

Shawn (01:00:04.735)
Take care.

Fred (01:00:06.166)
All right, have a good one guys.