My Gen Z Perspective

In this episode, I share my feelings around being a Gen Z(er) and how sometimes the general narrative around us can be quite tiring to hear. This episode is definitely more of a personal one and somewhat niche, so do bear with me! At the end, I share some of the methods I have found useful: Whether that’s the people online I like to follow, or approaches I take to try to connect myself to others more… as the loneliness can sometimes get quite overwhelming! Any opinions or different takes to my thoughts are greatly welcomed and encouraged :)

The people I have mentioned in this episode are:

• Florence Given
• Esther Perel
• Alain de Botton 
• James Sexton
• Chris Williamson

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome back to my podcast. First of all, I'd like to say that I think I have come up with a name for the podcast. I have been brainstorming for a little while and I feel as though I have finally reached something that feels right. So I think I'm gonna call this podcast A Curious Mind because for many reasons. First of all, I believe that being curious is one of the most important skills in being human and kind of tapping into that curious side of ourselves. And I try very hard to be as curious as I can because I believe that there is an abundance of knowledge and an endless fountain of conversations and information and data that you can gather through living and experiencing that being curious, I think, just kind of like um facilitates that. So I really love being curious, I like channeling my curiosity as and when I can, and so I really believe in curiosity. Um, and also my 2026 resolution was to be more curious, was to ask more questions, was to be less embarrassed about asking questions, and yeah, I I I kind of just made a promise to myself that I really would try to channel that curiosity of mine as much as I possibly can. Um, and one of the reasons that that sort of idea was sparked in my mind was because when I did this PQ course last year, at the end of last year with my mum, I I mentioned it in the last episode, and I didn't mention the guy's name because I actually really struggled to pronounce his second name, but his name is Shirzad Shamin, I believe. Um he is an Iranian born but moved to America, specifically California, and he was a Stanford student and is now or was once a Stanford professor, I think, or has spoken in Stanford, the Stanford University. Anyway, a very well-renowned businessman, and then anyway, he through his life and through his experience in business and engineering and all sorts, he decided to um create this PQ um theory and course. He's written a book on it, and now there is a course that goes deeper into the book. And anyway, that PQ course was a life-changing experience for both myself and my mum. And one of the things that that course got into was the essence, like what your essence is. So it got us to look at a photo of us when we were children and kind of see what that child was, the essence of that child. And one of the things that I very much always have been is a curious person, and I think that through life experiences, my curiosity sort of was dimmed. I dimmed my curiosity because I didn't believe that it was a positive trait. Um, but I now believe that it's one of the best qualities of me. It's one of my biggest strengths, is my curiosity. So yeah, that's so that is my my thought process behind this podcast name. Um it feels it feels right. So yeah, a curious mind. Also, um my pup is here with me tonight, today. Um, my little dog Maya, she's not little at all, she's not a puppy, but she is my puppy. Um she's with me for emotional support. No, I mean, um actually today's episode I kind of I'm in two minds about, but um yeah, she's had a very busy week and she's a tired pup and I thought her presence would be nice. So um yeah, if you can hear her little snoring in the background, then that is that is what's going on, and what a pleasure it is to hear her snoring. She is the best you can only see her bum, but um, she's a golden retriever and she's just the best thing ever. So today's episode. I'm yet to decide on a title for the episode, but I'm thinking about like my experience as a Gen Z or kind of the Gen Z experience or my perception or my perspective from like the perspective of a Gen Zer. Um I was on a walk today and I was earlier today I was listening to a podcast that was talking about dating in the current modern world, and it delved into focusing on the Gen Z and how Gen Z has been is kind of there is right, there are so many statistics around Gen Z, around how we are you know less sociable, um we are a lot more ambiguous in social situations, we have a lot more anxiety in social situations, we struggle to communicate, um we struggle to go up to people to express that we are attracted to them, the fear of rejection that we feel, um how connected we are virtually, but how disconnected we are emotionally in in person. Um and look, I do not disagree with the statistics, I think that the statistics are true. I'm I don't doubt that they're wrong um whatsoever. Um but I don't know today it kind of like rubbed me up the wrong way, and honestly, like I want to just put it out there this this episode is more is really just me expressing my experience and maybe like just being a little bit honest about how I'm feeling currently and hoping that that might resonate with one person um so that you don't feel alone and I don't feel alone. Um it was just I just feel as though right how am I gonna where am I gonna approach this? So okay, I'm gonna start with because of the profession I'm choosing, I am I choose to listen to a lot of podcasts, books, seminars on topics such as you know relationships and social interaction and our behaviour, and do you know what I mean? So I definitely am more exposed to those conversations and I'm more exposed to the observations that are being had on people of my generation and on other generations, but of course I naturally take more interest in those of my generation, and I see a lot a narrative that is quite and I don't believe that it's intentional, I don't believe for a second it's intended in this way, but I I feel sometimes that the narrative is quite negative towards the Gen Z generation, and that there's not really like a way in which we can do right by the rest, but I just feel as though we we live in a we live in a world where life has never been so comfortable. We live in a world where granted, like we do not have the worries and the exact the anxieties of our of our ancestors, you know, like generally we live a much more comfortable life. So I do appreciate that the Gen Z can come across quite quote unquote snowflaky or weak, um, you know, emotional, you know, we are a lot more in touch with our emotions and our feelings, we're a lot more open about you know, going to therapy and being open about how things make us feel and the boundaries that we're trying to communicate. Um and I know that that can come, and I and I know I can see how my generation can rub other generations up the wrong way. I can see that for sure. I see it, like I see how that can come across. Um, and it's not that I don't think that that's the case, like I it's not that I think that like we are perfect and that you know we should be doing all of this. Um, I think that there's a lot that we can learn from. However, I don't always appreciate this narrative that one in four Gen Z will look for a relationship with an AI chatbot, or one in four Gen Z are um will never go up to somebody in public and tell them that they're attractive, or Gen Z are extremely socially atrophied. Now, what all of those things I've just said are true, they have truth within them for sure. Where I get this bugbear is I feel as though the way it's communicated is dismissive. I feel that sometimes it can be communicated in quite a dismissive manner, and I don't really like being told that my generation is that way when this kind of like lack of social interaction and um lack of motivation and this feeling of entitlement again, there are elements of that, but I feel as though I'm actually really grateful that I was born in a generation where we feel as though our voices are a little bit more important because every single person's voice kind of feeding onto what I was saying last episode. Like, I feel as though all of our voices are important, and I think that being able to communicate where we will and won't go and where our boundaries lie are like really, really important, important lessons. Um, you know, I mean it even comes down to sort of expressing consent and um you know knowing what you're going into and asking questions and being curious and like just being yourself. I feel as though there is this sort of like Gen the Gen Z generation. I feel that we are a little bit more open to being ourselves and not as apologetic to it. Again, sweeping generalization, and again, I'm not trying to say something that is going to I'd like to relate to every single one of you. Like, I'm not, I really hope that again this is not the intention of what I'm saying, I'm just trying to express what it is that I'm feeling at the moment. Um, and I also think that we forget that you know, like the some of like the most important developmental years of my generation's lives was locked away. Like we were locked in our houses and in our flats and wherever, and like for a significant amount of time through like people that were in school or university, um, or even working, like starting out their working lives, which was my experience, we were not able to socialize, you know, and so we missed out on those like really really fundamental um years of socializing. You can even take it back further, like you know, I'm really lucky that I was able to play out on the street. Esther Perel speaks a lot about this about how um generations that kind of didn't really grow up playing on the streets, interacting with other people, with other kids, you know, like creating relationships, fighting, overcoming challenges and difficulties, like that kind of social um experience when you're a child, you know, the negotiation and the knocking on someone's door and asking their parents if so-and-so can come out to play, like all of those experiences have been robbed of some kids now, that's like literally just under my generation, or at least my age. I don't know if it's no not generation, but just under my age. Um, and those are very fundamental skills that you you need to learn when you're younger in order to know how to kind of like interact with the rest of society. So, and this is the thing, like I think that it's really hard to say, like Gen Z is really unsociable, and then kind of like be like, Oh yeah, because they didn't have those experiences because of lockdown, because of this, because of that. I sometimes sit there and I'm like, So, what do you actually want from me? Like, what do you want from me? You know, I'm gonna try my best. I don't want to be alone forever, I don't want to be like you know, unable to communicate with the rest of society. I don't want that. Like, I want to be a part of society, I want to have a community, I want people in my life, I want to be able to communicate with people and um and have those experiences. Like, that's what I want, that's what we all want. All of us want connection, we want to connect, but it doesn't, it's not helpful when all you when all the narrative is like Gen Z are lazy and Gen Z are unsociable and Gen Z. It's like okay, yes, maybe we are, but like what have you taught us? We learn from being taught, we learn from experience. What experiences have we had or have we been exposed to in our lifetime that would have taught us otherwise? That would have taught us that socializing is important, going out is important, speaking to strangers is important. I grew up in an environment where stranger danger was a huge thing because it is a huge thing, it's both really big and also like not as big, but you have to know like it's really really hard, and honestly, like there is never gonna be the right narrative or the right thing to say. Like, I'm not again saying that I expect that, but I sometimes just kind of find it a little bit disheartening because I I personally like I want nothing more than to connect with others, I want nothing more than to have a community of people around me that bring me up and I bring them up. I want nothing more than people in my life that challenge me and support me and pick me up and push me, you know. I want nothing more than to have people in my life that I can depend on and that can depend on me through thick and thin, through the tough and the really good parts. I want nothing more than that. Like that to me is the biggest priority in my life. I really do believe. I think that that is for me what makes life worth living, and that's kind of why I decided to go down the route that I've gone down because professionally, because I feel as though not only will I be able to help others realize how important connection and community is, but also I believe that if more people help more people, more people are gonna help more people, and that's gonna be like a ball that keeps on rolling and a snowball that just carries on, and I think that it could be a really beautiful thing, and I and I really think that we need that in the world. I think that it's absolutely possible, I think that it exists in many places, um, and I would just love to contribute to that as much as I can. Um, and so as someone that has grown up in a generation that has been dealt a very interesting hand when it comes to connect like being connected to others on the internet, but sort of lacking personal and like relational connections in person. Um it's really it's a very tough pill to swallow for me, and I kind of resist quite a little bit because I see where that can lead, and I don't like the look of that for me. I don't like the look of that future for myself. I do not want to have friends that are AI chatbots, and like all respect to AI, you know, I know that there is a place in the world for it, and like I'm not trying to talk against it. I think I'm honestly quite interested in what that's going to look like. But I want more, and I'm okay to want more, I'm allowed to want more. And when I say I want more, I want I want people to know that the cards that we have been dealt in our generation, we are so lucky and privileged in so many ways, but the idea of like this lack of personal connection as a result of it really scares me, and I don't like that it just feels as though it's a result of like our lack of motivation or sort of our lack of want. I think that it's a really difficult thing to say and to hear, and again I'm obviously taking a more victim point of view right now because it directly affects me and I feel quite strongly about it. Um you know, and I and I just want to say like if you feel that way, even if you're not necessarily like a Gen Z are, but if you feel that if you feel as though you're a much more like inward-facing person, even though naturally you you don't want that for yourself, like and it makes you feel alone, um I see you, I really see you, and I don't have necessarily like one a one-size-fits-all solution, but I just want to say that you're actually you're very much not alone, and it can be really really lonely and it can be really difficult. I really believe that we're doing our best. We really are doing our best with with the cards that we've been dealt, just like everybody else in the world, I believe. Um, and you are not alone. I'm I very much feel you, and and I'm here for you. Um and I'm like, I'm I open up the comment section of this video to discuss and like go deeper into this and perhaps listen to certain people's stories around this, like personal experiences and stories around this. Um I share your frustrations, I share your confusion. Um, I'm really here with you, and honestly, I have found that it really does start from the person, and now sometimes, like depending on where you are in your life and in your own place, that's a little bit too much to hear, and I can appreciate that. Um, and honestly, like just getting through each day is enough for now. Okay, things will pass, it will get better. I promise you. When you feel as though you're at a point where you could perhaps push yourself a little bit further, come back to this video. Um, and what I would say is it really does start from from you. If you want things in your life to change, you need to change. I found through, and I'm still figuring it out, but I've definitely found through uh really listening to what it is that I want, whether that's through journaling, going on walks, um, reading, having more in-depth conversations with people in my life, um, being curious, like asking certain questions, and if there is someone that I really enjoy, or or someone whom I look up to, you know, like whether that's a physical, like an actual person in my life, like asking them questions as like to what their experience is and and how they kind of overcame challenges in their lives, and trying to adapt that into my everyday if I can. Um, also following people that are a reflection of who I am. Um, for me, I love Florence Gibbon, she is an absolute fricking babe. Oh my god, babe is such a like ridiculous way to describe her, but she is an icon, anotherworldly being. Love Florence Gibbon, love Esther Perel. Love Esther Perel. I really like Alain de Bottom, he is amazing. I would highly recommend listening to podcasts he has been on. Um, one he did recently with Chris Williamson. I would highly recommend. He just gives you a hug, he just gives you a big, squeezy, warm hug, and it's so nice to listen to. Um, I have recently discovered a psychiatrist called Dr. Yalom, Dr. Irvin Yalom. Um, he's written a couple of books that are fascinating and a real call to being empathetic and like appreciating the human experience. Um any more that I'd like to share? Oh, James Sexton. James Sexton, he is a divorce lawyer, he has a show. I all cards on the table don't love his show. I just feel as though his approach can sometimes be a little bit too strong for me. However, him on other people's podcasts highly recommend, and he's written two books which I haven't read, but he is a straight talking, honest guy. I actually really appreciate what he has to say. He's honest, he seems very like dignifying, um uh he seems like a very like upstanding gentleman. Um, I actually really really like what he has to say, especially from like the male perspective. I think that that is a really like I would want my little brother to listen to things he has to say. I always judge people by men by that. And Chris Williamson as well, I would say I actually I actually really enjoy what a lot of what he has to say. Again, I'm not saying that I agree with everything that these people say, but um, yeah, I would I would say those people are some really really good gems online at the moment if you don't have people that you can follow in person as well. I think that obviously people in people that you can physically surround yourself with in person that you admire, there is an energy that you get from them physically that you do not get from people online, regardless of how amazing they are, you know. But if I can be around people that I I find like energetically stimulating, then I will be. And yeah, I just try to listen as much as I can, be open-minded, ask questions about experience, about feelings, about you know, just trying to be a bit more selective with what you ask, be a bit more direct with what you're trying to get from the situation um or from the conversation, and I find that like those kinds of conversations can be really insightful. Um, and also be kind to yourself, right? So, like, again, maybe one of these conversations or one of these podcasts a week is all you can do and listen to. That's okay. Like, maybe it's one a month, I don't know, maybe it's one a day. Um, be kind to yourself because it has to start from you, you have to love yourself, you have to want that for yourself, you have to really care and love for yourself in order to genuinely want to make that change and expand and move, you know, move forwards. Um, and that has to come from a place of love. If it comes from any other place, it won't carry on, it'll it'll fade away eventually, and you'll have to do the work eventually, and that's okay as well. If you are not in that place yet, then just do what you can for this day, you know. And I realize now that, like, I realize that this pod this episode has now kind of fallen into a bit of advice, I guess. Um, but I just feel as though it was necessary to add that basically life is not easy, it's not easy for anybody, it's not easy for any generation, every single generation has its own challenges that it had to overcome and has to overcome. I am speaking from my perspective, from my experience as someone part of the Gen Z uh generation. Um, and what what worries me sometimes, and what my fears are, and that if anyone can kind of relate to that or or understands what it is that I'm trying to say, that's kind of all it is. I think sometimes just knowing that someone understands you and and can see you and is experiencing a similar feeling is quite a comforting thing to know that you're not alone and that um and that there are people out there that are also in the same boat and are just figuring it out. I think that last year when I went travelling, I don't know what happened exactly, but there was almost a click in my mind where I was like, oh this is everyone's first time on the earth too. Like everyone else is just a human being here. Everyone else goes to the toilet, shits, hisses, farts, burps, snores, sleeps, laughs, cries, sobs, trips over, judges, gossips, creates, ruins, argues, shouts, screams. Every single person that you interact with is doing that and has done that in their lives. Everyone fucks up, everyone makes mistakes, some people learn from them, some people take a little bit longer to learn from them. Um and everyone comes with their own unique baggage, experience, background, whether it's as a result of the generation they're born in, or of the environment they're born in, or the family they're born in, or the place, or the country, or the language, or whatever it is, you know, everyone has their own unique combination of those things. Um, but yeah, I think this kind of I wanted to just give a hug, like a big old hug, to my Gen Z out there, and anyone that can kind of relate, maybe not even people that are part of the Gen Z generation, but um just people that might relate to me in that they can it can sometimes feel a little bit lonely out there or out there, and um I'm here, I see you, I feel it too, I'm working on it. And you know, if if it is of interest, like if things kind of work, I can dip the those pieces of advice in and out, but of course, again, like everything is a very like personal experience. Some things might work for me that might not work for you, and vice versa. So that's also really important. Like when you have those kinds of conversations or you listen to pieces of advice, some experience work perfectly for some, and others not so much, you know. And that is the beauty of being a human being. So oh yeah, um, I'm gonna I'm gonna end it there. I really hope that um you manage to get out of this episode whatever you could. If you don't agree with me whatsoever, that's absolutely fine. And actually, I'd be really open-minded to hearing like what your perspective on my comments were and where you think I might have not kind of hit the mark or or not kind of express myself what right uh correctly or whatever. Like, I I'd actually really like to hear your feedback because um there's a lot of like there's a big discourse around this at the moment, it has been for a little while, and um I am open to seeing what people have to say about it. So yeah, okay, I'm gonna end it there. Thank you so much for being here again. It's such a pleasure to be able to sit here and do this. Um I'm just so grateful for this opportunity and and for being here. So I love you so much. I will see you next time.