School of Self-Worth
School of Self-Worth is a purposeful podcast and community for the ambitious woman who knows she is worthy of an astoundingly great life. Join us weekly as we redefine success, set and sustain boundaries, and reclaim your self-worth.
Hosted by Nicole Tsong, bestselling author, former journalist, and work/life balance coach, who helps professional women live an aligned life. We will have diverse and meaningful conversations with successful women from all walks of life who share insight about what it takes to be brave, joyful, and yourself every day.
Every single episode is thoughtfully designed to leave you feeling empowered, with tangible tips and advice that will lead you to your next breakthrough.
School of Self-Worth
140: Why you’re still not being seen as a leader, even though you’re capable
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In this episode, I dig into why talented, high-achieving women, especially Asian American women, are often overlooked as leaders at work. Here’s the truth — it’s not really about confidence, communication skills, or how much you prepare, even though that’s the advice you might have gotten before.
The real challenge shows up in those micro moments moments when you are caught off guard — like when a senior leader asks a tough question or you receive unexpected feedback. If you hesitate, soften your words, or doubt yourself in those moments, others are likely to see you as less of a leader.
For Asian-American women, this often comes back to the way you were raised. Prioritize others, uphold your family reputation, defer to authority. And this often brings up doubt and worry in moments where you’re not prepared.
True leadership is anchored in how you stabilize yourself and hold your authority in real time. When you are rooted in your own values and have clarity about your ideas, that’s true leadership arises — without having to change who you are.
THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:
- Being overlooked as a leader isn’t about confidence, communication style, or visibility. [01:47]
- The real issue arises when I can’t stabilize myself under stress. [03:26]
- Simply preparing more doesn’t help in key moments if I can’t anchor myself and hold my positioning. [05:01]
- My upbringing, especially as an Asian American woman, can cause me to worry about others’ perceptions and fall into self-doubt. [06:51]
- Leadership means being able to hold my position and authority. [05:34]
- I don’t need to become someone else to be seen as a leader. [08:42]
If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong and so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support!
Authority Shift: You're not being overlooked because you're not capable. You’re being overlooked because of how your leadership is being interpreted in real time. Grab the private audio feed for Asian-American corporate leaders where I break down the exact moments your authority drops...and why it has nothing to do with confidence or communication. go.nicoletsong.com/shift
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For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast.
Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email podcast@nicoletsong.com to share any thoughts or feedback.
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