No Filter in Paradise
Two friends, one's straight one's Gay, with different backgrounds, interest, upbringing & outlook in life come together to have a Fun & honest conversation and discuss their opinions on different topics... with no filter.
No Filter in Paradise
Trent Shelton: From NFL Dreams to Motivational Impact and Personal Growth
Trent Shelton dives into the complexities of mental health, identity, and the path to personal growth through vulnerability and resilience. He shares his profound experiences with grief from losing loved ones and navigating the pressures of fame while emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries to protect one's well-being.
• Discussing the invisible struggles of depression
• The impact of losing loved ones on one's mental state
• The significance of setting boundaries for self-care
• Identity crisis after life changes in sports
• Finding faith and purpose amidst adversity
• The need for authenticity in the pursuit of success
• Practical advice on responding to life's challenges
• Real-life stories illustrating personal transformation
Go to "Protect Your Peace" available now wherever books are sold!
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So I never wanted to be a speaker ever Like. I never wanted to come out like nobody does. I wanted to be the rapper or a football player entertainer, like that's what we back home, that's what we want to do. But what happened was my best friend committed suicide. A lot of depression, you know. Some depression you can see, but a lot of it is invisible. A lot of depression sounds like I'm good, hey, I'm good, smile, success. I mean you see a lot of people. I mean I've probably lost three or four people over the years.
Speaker 2:Highly successful people, pretty much made your dream a reality. Now being out of it, how did it affect you?
Speaker 1:In sports you see a lot of guys Like, if you look at it, you see a lot of suicide within athletes. Because it's like this is my identity. Who am I without this? I tell you, I've never worked a 9 to 5 in my life, never. I always say I don't tell people what my principles do, because my good heart would be like yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and it's going to lead to burnout.
Speaker 2:When you were talking about that, I was telling her. I was telling her, I was like fuck, it's going to hit me. I know it, it's going to come, Because I don.
Speaker 3:I used to really be like, oh, I want to help everybody, I want to help everybody. Then at some point it was like I think when I started my business me like really focused on it, Then I was like you know what, Like I really try to help everybody else, and then I always get the short end of the stick, and I was like, bitch, how stupid can you be though.
Speaker 1:For like, hey, yo what's up.
Speaker 2:LA Chemistess guys, welcome back to the ABC Islands favorite podcast, no filter in paradise, a show about anything and everything meeting two friends, one is straight and the other, your favorite melanated, homosexual.
Speaker 3:Okay, that's new, though. That's good, that's new, though that's actually new, that's actually new. Come on, don't even play with me, guys today's show we got a special episode.
Speaker 2:Um, I'm gonna well, obviously it's not something already, so you know what it is. So, but before we do that, I want to give a quick little shout out to atta for making this happen. Um, I wrote something real quick so yeah, you know, I took my time in the back office beautiful, let me beautiful, let me hear this.
Speaker 3:I know, I know.
Speaker 2:It's actually pretty. I'm pretty impressed with myself right now. So the Uruguay Tourism Authority hosted this really awesome event today. You couldn't make it.
Speaker 3:Okay, did you write that?
Speaker 2:No, that's my own add-on, Okay don't do that. It's called the Voices of. You know, aruba is all about tourism here, um which I found a really cool initiative, uh, especially since they brought our guest for today, mr trent shelton, who's the former nfl player turned motivational speaker. He did a really incredible talk, which you know I was present for, and I'm sorry.
Speaker 3:No, you got one more time.
Speaker 2:No, you had a good reason why you couldn't make it. It all starts with you, where he got real about finding your purpose, personal growth and just becoming the best version of yourself. If you sorry, I'm not saying if you were there, but, like he said some really cool stuff that I really resonated with, which we're gonna get well, you can always say it, that's okay, it's him, it's his words like you know I feel like and also which you know, I'm not one of these lucky students but some of them got a copy of their book because they did a little envelope on their chair.
Speaker 2:Who ever got the envelope? I was checking like three chairs. I was like I was like runella move, let me check your chair you would have stole a kid's dream, wow.
Speaker 2:Because I also got dreams okay. So, and also speaking of Ronela, who is the CEO of Ate, if you didn't know this, she also shared some inspiring words about staying motivating and living a happy life, which felt like a very positive, feel good kind of moment because she kind of like also explained her career. You know, making it to the top. You know when she was 17, you know she did this accomplishment I feel like a lot of people don't know her story.
Speaker 3:I don't.
Speaker 2:That's why we're gonna have her soon, so it's it's yeah just confirming okay, good, good, good, good. So we even wanted to have ronald on the show because she she's like the, the. I wouldn't say definition, but pretty much definition of like work your ass off to make it to the top, like take no shit from no one. By the way, you can curse if you want to. I don't know if you're okay, cool, okay good.
Speaker 2:He said yes, yeah, yeah so also big props to ata for putting this together, having us, having you on our show, and shout out to all the students, the teacher, everybody who attended this event if you missed out, will you be back next year he has to.
Speaker 3:He has to come back. He was here last year. He got a few more times to be a local perfect yeah exactly yeah, so I gotta come yeah all right
Speaker 2:perfect all right. So, guys, uh, today we have well just mentioned like a few times, we've got none other than trent shelton. Welcome to the show what's up.
Speaker 1:What's up? Thanks for having me. I appreciate y'all no, thank you.
Speaker 2:thank you for the time out of your day, because I know you're only here for like two days, so I'm happy, you guys, when I, when I, when she, I spoke with Luzka, I'm like, hey, can you make this happen? Let me check with the team. I was like fuck Cause. Sometimes, like sometimes people like yeah, we don't have time for that. Like people like say no so when she told me yeah, on the fucking batteries, we're going on, this is happening. No, so before we jump into this little I won't say interview, just conversation.
Speaker 2:It's a good conversation. How about, like we have a little bit of an icebreaker, a few questions Right now. Who's your current favorite NFL team? I don't have one, you don't. Uh-uh, uh-uh, I don't. Just so you know this is the reaction you're gonna get for him everything do I look like somebody that watches nfl? I want you. I want the nfl wives probably. You probably watch a guy in the tight pants, what's up.
Speaker 1:That is what I like but no, sir, no, okay, I will say this if I had to lean towards the team to be the 49ers, okay, I'm emotionally invested where my I mean, I mean most, mean most Americans are, you know?
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, but do you have? So? Is NFL your favorite like sport or do you like other sports?
Speaker 1:I like football, I like college football.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, I guess it's like, football is your thing, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 1:Football in general, but I'm more invested in college football, it's the fans. I mean a college atmosphere, you know it's crazy, it's wild. And you have kids that the business is still there, especially now, but it isn't so businessy as the NFL it's not very political too, Like NFL is very political and college football is just like we're college students.
Speaker 3:We're here to have a fucking good time All right, all right.
Speaker 2:So what's your favorite kind of go-to guilty pleasure food? Could be like the most unhealthiest thing, but like fuck it For sure.
Speaker 1:I'm going to say probably, man, it's not going to seem super unhealthy, but like chicken tenders.
Speaker 2:I like chicken tenders All the time, honey mustard, all of it Like honey mustard.
Speaker 1:You got to do barbecue sauce, hot sauce and honey mix together. Wait what Barbecue sauce hot sauce. Louisiana hot sauce.
Speaker 3:Your hot sauce is different. Here we have different hot sauces.
Speaker 2:Have you had it.
Speaker 3:Which one did you have, though I don't know what it was. We have the Madame Jeunette and the Pica Papaya. The orange one is more mild. It's kind of like a habanero type of. The orange one is like more mild. Yeah, it's kind of like a habanero type of. Yeah, yeah, the orange one, that's the mild one, yeah, or maybe I'm wrong, I'm not wrong, I don't fucking know.
Speaker 2:It's a red color and an orange color.
Speaker 1:I have the orange one. That, for me, is the best. One has the best flavor as a hot sauce.
Speaker 2:Like it doesn't burn that much, but the flavor is worth it?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, for sure. And a nice pizza too, a good slice of pizza Okay, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3:All right, you're a little bit unhealthy. I like that. I like you already Perfect.
Speaker 2:Who's your favorite artist right now? Right now J Cole okay, cold world, cold world, there we go. All right, there we go, let's go dreamville. So how?
Speaker 1:long have you been? How long have you been coming to arivo? Is this so 2022 was the first year?
Speaker 2:okay, yeah, that was my first time on the island and what's your favorite thing so far about the island man?
Speaker 1:the people one I just, I just love. So we went by the lighthouse uh, where the beach is. Back there.
Speaker 3:Yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:This is my first time doing it this time, so we did a sunrise there.
Speaker 2:It was amazing back there, nice, yeah, yeah, yeah, especially if you go up the hill by going towards the lighthouse and you see the desert and it comes back from that side. That's super nice.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think the contrast of the desert feel and the beach is just wild.
Speaker 2:I like it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you ever gone off-roading, or something.
Speaker 1:Here? Yeah, I haven't yet. No, well, we had a Jeep, I guess. Oh yeah, jeep, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure, yeah.
Speaker 2:Nice. So who do you think is better?
Speaker 3:Ooh, this is something messy.
Speaker 2:I know you got to pick one. Well, you say better like in what?
Speaker 1:Exactly, you can't compare them In?
Speaker 2:what If you had to pick one to listen?
Speaker 1:to who would you pick To?
Speaker 2:listen to. Yeah, that's better.
Speaker 1:I'm going to say Nicki Okay, you're lucky, I just like hip hop Okay.
Speaker 3:You're just a big Nicki Minaj fan. I'm a big Rihanna fan as well.
Speaker 2:I, and I know you inspire a lot of people. Who inspires you? I like that. That's a tough question. I'm going to try to check GDP. No, I'm just kidding. No, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1:Who inspires me? I'll have to say and this seems like a simple answer, but anybody does. I don't really have one person that says, oh, this person really inspires me, but I learn from everybody. So sometimes it's my team, sometimes it's my kids. Yeah, you know. Uh, you guys, you know, I watched a little bit of the interviews that you did so wherever I can learn from I'm inspired.
Speaker 2:By make sure to subscribe, you know I got you that means you're inspired, you're inspired by life.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah absolutely.
Speaker 2:yep, even when you were growing up, did you ever ever have like a mentor or someone like you constantly listen to? Yeah for sure, like it was sports.
Speaker 1:So, like Allen Iverson you know what I mean. Jerry Rice, those dudes were like then my dad, though. My dad is a big inspiration in my life, for sure Ever since I've been little, so we have a good relationship, and he still inspires me today.
Speaker 3:Nice yeah. You better go with your healthy dad life yeah go with your, with your healthy dad life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's good, all right. So, um, I want to jump into questions on the whole segment. So, besides being like a nfl player, motivational speaker like who is trent shellen, besides those, those two things, um, you know, husband, father, just really, I'm just a dude who cares, like I'm an introverted person.
Speaker 1:Uh, yeah, a big time.
Speaker 1:That's kind of weird, like you're introverted, but you'll go on stage and like start hyping a lot of a lot of people are like the least that I know, like a lot of people, like even the beyonces of the world, like they say she's introverted. So it's not that I'm shy, it's just that I'm a deep thinker and then maybe it's the virgo in me and then when I get out on purpose, then you get the extroverted side. So I'm not sure I have both sides. But uh, yeah, that's just the guy who cares man, just the guy who cares man, just the guy who wants to help people. End of the day, that's just. I would like that title the motivational speaker, author stuff. That's cool, but I think defining me is just the guy who cares.
Speaker 2:How did you get into this space?
Speaker 1:By accident. So I'll give you a crazy thing, that's why we're here.
Speaker 2:Let's go Tell the story.
Speaker 1:I went to college at Baylor right and that's where I played football at. I got a scholarship there. I first was in studying, my major was business, but student-athlete is what they call it back home, which is not the truth, because you can't focus on school.
Speaker 3:You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:You can't go like, hey, I want to go work an internship.
Speaker 1:They're not having that, you get sent home. So it's athletes like it's football. Football, football was your life. I dropped, I switched my major even in college, like so you would spend more time on the field during the classroom.
Speaker 2:I mean, yeah, for sure would you be skipping classroom and like yo footballs I mean you have to take care of your grades, or you're gonna play, but yeah, I mean it's yeah, for sure you something bothering you thank you appreciate that I'm sorry, but it's kind of crazy, though, like I can't imagine a kind of lifestyle you'll have by being a college student full time. Try to keep your GPA up and at the same time, trying to pay college full time.
Speaker 1:Thousand percent because you're trying to. You got to realize your day in college in the morning at 6, 5 am. You're working out, then you go to classes all day, then you go back to football meetings all day. Do you have to go to study hall? So it's just a grind.
Speaker 1:So for me I was in business, that was my major, but it was too hard. I was. I'm a fell out if I stay here. So I majored in speech communication. I did that because a lot of athletes do it, because it's easy. I was like, ok, I have a good career, be a broadcaster, make a long story short. Like my NFL career didn't work out. And so here we are doing this. So I never wanted to be a speaker ever. Like I never wanted to come out like nobody does. I want to be the rapper or or a football player, entertainer, like that's what we back home, that's what we want to do. But what happened was, uh, my best friend committed suicide. Yeah, my college teammate, my roommate, and it was my promise to him. Because, bro, like, what was wild is that when I got that, call it surprised, but it didn't, because he had moments in college where, as a young kid, we like man. It was over a girl. It was like man leave her alone, man.
Speaker 1:What? Yeah, well, college, yeah, he thought about it during the day. He was like I'm going to kill myself. We're like man, shut up, you ain't about to kill yourself. And when I got that call, it was a combination over that it was. He lost a lot of women in his life. He loved hard and also he lost sports, and so he felt like his life was over.
Speaker 3:Like, what's the point of living?
Speaker 1:What's the point of living Like nobody loves me and actually this might be TMI, but like, when they found him, he had pictures of all the women in his life. Oh damn yeah. And so that's why a lot of my content people don't realize like I talk about, like you know, not holding on to bad things, because that was him and he felt like life wasn't living. And so it was my promise to him at his funeral to like man. You know what? I felt guilty because I'm like man, I should have checked on you more, and if you ever lose somebody, you're always going to go through guilt. That's where it started. I just picked up my phone on facebook at that time and just started going live, so it really found me. I didn't find it it was your path.
Speaker 2:I can't even imagine like losing, like your best friend, like, especially like I mean I have.
Speaker 2:I've also have a not a family member a close childhood friend that also committed suicide yeah and if you met this kid he was the happiest kid Like he would walk into this room. Everybody would smile at him because he's always super happy, joyful, blah, blah, blah. And then just one day next, like around Thanksgiving, like a friend of mine called yo X person just like killed himself, like literally I'm not going to say how he did it, but it's like, it's like wild. It just goes to show like no matter, like even even if somebody looks happy, like you just don't know what actually is happening in their life. So that really gave me a different perspective as to like check in with people, like even if you're like because you know me, I'm super jolly, but you've seen me like hella, fucking depressed of course like it's also because you know business and stuff is especially if you're carrying everything with yourself.
Speaker 2:But yeah, you're just like it's just fucking wild.
Speaker 3:But I feel like it's a big part of the importance of just like spreading kindness. Yeah, because you really can't pick and choose to be like, okay, this person looks like they're going through a hard time, let me be nice to them. You really just don't know who is going through, whatever it is. It's just basically a sense of if you just treat everybody with respect and just treat everybody really nice, like what's the worst, like what do you lose with that?
Speaker 3:so that's kind of where I go. I go from it a lot of depression.
Speaker 1:You know some depression you can see, but a lot of it is invisible. A lot of impressions. Impressions sounds like I'm good, hey, I'm good. Smile success. You see a lot of people I mean I've probably lost three or four people over the years highly successful people on paper that were smiling for the camera but not behind the scenes and so you got to check on your people. As you said, how old are you now? I'm 40.
Speaker 1:I Holy shit, I'm at the age when people say that oh my gosh, you know the one, kevin Hart damn.
Speaker 2:How old are you, how old are y'all? I'm 35.
Speaker 3:Okay, I'm 31. Okay, young bucks, y'all young.
Speaker 2:I thought you were probably like my age, like 35 or something.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'll take it though.
Speaker 3:For sure I'll take it.
Speaker 1:I no. When is your birthday? September 21st.
Speaker 2:Oh nice, oh Lily, just now yeah. I just turned. Yeah, Dope Vagal season was just over. Wait 21st, Mm-hmm, Shit man. That's my wedding anniversary there we go. Yeah, so while you're fucking partying, I'm getting married. Like what's going on? Oh man, it's awesome.
Speaker 1:So what was your actual dream like growing like? What did you actually want to be when you grow up? Like you're a kid running around the backyard, football player, really our athlete, just in general. I love, I love all sports baseball. I play baseball, basketball, football and track, even in high school. So I have two older brothers. I really had no choice. Yeah, so like they're four years older than me and six, so you know, oh, yeah, like it was to the point where beat me like oh yeah, they wouldn't let me win they made me tough, Honestly.
Speaker 1:I credit them for making me a good athlete because I was going against them. So I went against kids my age. It was like this is easy.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, that's what I wanted to be, since I can remember we got videos since I was probably three, two years old, running around with football.
Speaker 1:Now like seeing, that's something that's always been kind of like your dream and you pretty much made your dream a reality. Now being out of it, how did it affect you? Oh, it was hardest thing ever. The hardest thing ever because my whole entire life, I tell, I've never worked a nine-to-five in my life, never, because I've always been in sports. I worked some things here and there where I was training, but a committed 9-to-5, I've never worked in my life. So for me, I didn't even know how to get a job. I never filled out any applications. My whole entire life was football, sports, sports, sports.
Speaker 1:You see a lot of guys if you look at it. You see a lot of suicide within athletes because it's like this is my identity. Who am I without this? And that's the problem with just in general in life, we tie our identity to what we do. You can't do that Even now. Like people say, you're a speaker and author, nah, I'm a human being, because if I lose that, then I'm not going to lose myself, so that was the hard part trying to detach my identity from what's been my identity for 20 plus years.
Speaker 2:You know, I can kind of relate to this when it comes to emceeing part, because I also me. In the last 10 years I've hosted a lot of parties, festivals. I go to europe or the states and that's all I've known like for the longest time, and as I'm getting older I'm like it's not sustainable, it's not long term yeah I'm not gonna be fucking 40 be like yeah let's keep it going like a fucking festival in europe.
Speaker 2:I'm not gonna beat myself like that, and I'm pretty sure my wife's not gonna be happy right not a fucking party really yeah so I I was going through like I need to make a shift, and this when this whole podcasting thing started to happen, which we started like four years ago. So for me it's like I'm still doing the whole emceeing thing, but I kind of like shifted to a more, just a little microphone here, but I just shift more to a conversation, more chill vibe. I still emcee some parties here and there, so just to like okay I still got it.
Speaker 3:I still got it I remember the feeling.
Speaker 2:You know a little bit it's kind of like you're going to die. You have a french. Okay, fuck my diet. You know so very similar thing like I will emcee here and there, but I I do get the part of like identity crisis, like yeah what the fuck?
Speaker 2:am I gonna do like I don't? Is this the right thing for me? Am I gonna stop doing what I'm doing, what I've built the last 10 plus years, and do this instead? Thank fucking god it worked out, because if not, I wouldn't probably would have gotten, you know? I mean I've been working some not nine to five, but I've worked nightlife all my life yeah, bars, clubs, balls. I know nothing different so thank god, I've never had that, though. Thank god, no, you were the ritz-carlton. That's the bougie shut up.
Speaker 3:We're at the ritz. I used to. I used to at one point, but I've always done like a million different things at one time, so I just suck the most out of life. That's just me like yeah yeah yeah yeah, I'll just be everywhere, just doing anything, like you, whether you like it or not, like this is it. This is what's gonna be. We gonna have fun doing it. Nothing wrong with that, do you have?
Speaker 2:like a motivational speaker and someone in your I won't say someone that's in your niche as well that you like, respect or look up to, because when I saw you today, for some reason I was thinking about what's his name? Hip-hop preacher guy et et, yeah, eric thomas, yeah yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1:Um, as far as like look up to and inspire I mean everybody, I appreciate I think everybody brings their gifts. Um, inky johnson is a is a great one. Um that I is it?
Speaker 1:inky inky. Johnson. Inky motivates, I think, is instagram inky's he's. You've probably seen him before, uh, but before me I would say, like, coming up wise, I mean, you gotta, you know the les browns of the world, uh, tony robbins of the world, I think everybody has their thing where you can learn from, for sure. Um, but I'm gonna just be honest, like when I was coming up, I didn't see anybody that that was doing it the way I wanted to do it, because everybody, you know, when I came into this industry it was suit and ties yeah, you didn't see tattoo and dreadlock speakers.
Speaker 2:You know, I mean fucking hype song, but I was getting yeah, you didn't. You didn't see that.
Speaker 1:No, and I went a period where I did try to fit in, yeah, because people say, hey, if you want to speak at corporate america, you got to play the part. And I mean 20 years ago maybe, yeah, but not today, nah. And so for me, I started in 2010, yeah, and so I had to make a decision just to be who I am, because I always tell people, nobody can beat you at being you, and so yeah, and it's true, right, but what's the thing is like, you can.
Speaker 2:You can something with a recipe. Will you always?
Speaker 3:yeah, you can give it like you can just tell anybody your secrets, but nobody can ever do how. The way you do it, your sauce is just your swag.
Speaker 1:There you go and I own that, and what it happened was I connected with people on the internet and they really respected that and I I helped. I'm not going to say I created, but I helped create a lane where now you see people come on stage with Jordan's on or whatever it may be, and people being themselves. So whatever it is. If you want to wear a suit, cool, but I needed to be myself and be comfortable with it. Like I said, if I want to come out to my own song.
Speaker 2:Why not? Why do I have?
Speaker 1:to come with you this morning. I mean, that's my son, oh shit, all right.
Speaker 2:But it was good though, like if you, if you were there, you would, you would be twerking, for sure. There were kids, though. So maybe you, maybe not. Maybe, maybe you would have behaved a little bit.
Speaker 3:Like shut up, you don't even care about the kids either, like they have to get on that. Because I'm the I have, I feel like I have the same values of you. Nobody really can't beat you and people can relate to what they can seek. If you're trying to reach people to get motivated by whichever they should be authentically be able to just see like hey, you know what I wear Jordans, I got tattoos, I got dreadlocks or I know somebody that has that and they get judged for this and by completely being yourself, like it's possible, you can also be on that stage. So I feel like that makes it so much more relatable and so much more easier for people to even want to listen, versus just seeing another white person in a suit just up there talking with like a laser pen or something a thousand.
Speaker 1:Well, I 100% agree and I believe, like what you're saying is is this too you know people need to see an example. So you got to realize I don't know how it is here, but back home, as a, as a as a black kid growing up, you're either going to be a rapper, a entertainer, sell dope, or you know, being what athlete, that's it. And so you you never seen any anybody. That was oh, you can be an author. What they pay you to write books? They really do that. Yeah, oh, they pay you to speak. And so now, when I come, that was one of my big things with going back to these high schools and being myself was like they need to see that you can be who you are and still break through whatever you want to break through. So that's one of the big catalysts, especially when I first started out. It's like I need to give people an example that you can write books. You can, you know, speak on stages and they pay you well for it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I want to talk about like, since you were already on the book topic, when did you write your first book?
Speaker 1:My very first one was self-published. It was like 2012 or 2013. But 12 or 2013,. But my first traditional published meaning like the big one, was 2019. It's called the Greatest.
Speaker 2:You which one? So how many books do you?
Speaker 1:have. So I have three, three I would consider like main traditionally published books.
Speaker 2:If you would have to pick one of those three, like you see a shark never in any of your books, this is the one you got to read. Which one would that be?
Speaker 1:Protect your Peace, that's the new one, right?
Speaker 2:yeah, because so many people struggle with that that's something that you always talk about. I think peace is the greatest.
Speaker 1:You need this book if anything, please give it to him. I got you.
Speaker 3:Oh my god lie.
Speaker 2:I'm a buy it from you. I'm a workaholic.
Speaker 1:Right now I'm just go, go, go, but I have my reason, but it's not wrong with that, so I don so. So he's like I don't know, but it's the balance that's I'll give you an example, and you know I haven't.
Speaker 2:Since yesterday there was a debate or whatever. Since yesterday I still haven't slept. I've been awake for more than 24 hours, why?
Speaker 2:uh yeah because there was. There was a again. Like I'm like very determined, so like there was a, there is another podcast that needs to come out today. But shit, what time is it? Okay, I'm like is it scheduled? I'm like in my mind but it's, it needs to be out today. But I wasn't. It wasn't fully done yet and I was supposed to stay at debate for a little bit and then go home and finish it. They got super good. I was like nah, I'm staying, you know it's a big deal and ended up coming home at like 12, 30, 12 o'clock and just started editing and then that I was until like five in the morning, export upload scheduled. And then the next day and I was like 7 30. Shit, all right, make breakfast and then win to your event. Well, I was a little late, but anyways.
Speaker 1:So is that lifestyle you sustained, or?
Speaker 2:okay, it's. It's very, very rare, but you want something to say, go for it. I haven't stayed up like this in a long maybe new year's but like just to you know, when I want something to say, go for it. I haven't stayed up like this in a long maybe new year's but like just you know when I want something done, I go after it and I don't go to sleep.
Speaker 2:I don't stop until it's finished and if if I don't finish it, I'm gonna lay in bed like but you could have prevented it being like done until so late.
Speaker 3:If you knew you had something to do, you could like easily schedule that shit like it's.
Speaker 1:It's not like rocket science I don't know why you try to reinvent the wheel.
Speaker 3:But I'm just saying like it's like I got you can't complain that you got too much to do.
Speaker 2:I mean you could have scheduled that.
Speaker 3:Like I'm not complaining I'm just saying, though, but protect your peace, yeah, go for it.
Speaker 1:So well, yeah, protect your peace. So it's three pillars in it protect your energy, protect your mind, protect your soul. Because we say protect your peace, most people think's three pillars in it Protect your energy, protect your mind, protect your soul. Because when you say protect your peace, most people think it's like just keeping things out your life. That's a very small part of it, like a big part of it is setting boundaries right. So I tell people, when people hear the word boundary, they think like, oh, I'm keeping people out of my life. Boundaries aren't. I teach people, boundaries aren't a bridge to let the right things in, and so the better boundaries you have, the more peace you have. So for you, for example and I'm just using you as a scenario Go for it.
Speaker 1:Right, so like in a situation or I'll use me, for example no no, use me.
Speaker 2:You can fix me.
Speaker 1:Use him, fix me, please, let's go, don't invoice me, though I do believe in seasons of grind, right, but I don't think that should ever be a lifestyle, I agree, um, because it's gonna lead to burnout. And one of the things that I had to learn how to do is say the word no more. And I had to tell people because, because but this is why preach, because and I'm talking about saying no like you can even ask, you know, be over there, like she'd be, like you, saying no to this, like even some of the biggest y'all know mel robbins yeah, you know mel no, okay, she probably has like a top 10 podcast in the world, right. And so there was a situation I'll be really brief which is I have certain principles and standards, right, that I live by that allow me to say, you know, I always say I don't tell people what my principles do, because my good heart would be like yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 1:And it's going to lead to burnout. So my principles would be like hey, bro, if you do this, you know you're going to be stressed, you know you're going to regret it and you know you're probably going to have a resentment because you're sitting there saying yes to all these things that you know you should have said no to. So my son he's an athlete, tristan, it's his eighth grade year and Mel's podcast was scheduled on his first basketball game in eighth grade and I easily said now I'm not going to the podcast, like no and it's a huge one right so when I got there, mel, so that's why I respect you so much because you said no to this and most people would have been like I can go, but I can do another podcast.
Speaker 3:I can't get that moment again exactly so I'm okay with that.
Speaker 1:and then it comes down to me trusting myself. I trust myself enough that if I say no, I know another opportunity to come, and if that opportunity doesn't come to my life, that one, I trust that the another one will come to my life. So those are boundaries, and it's hard sometimes, but those are boundaries that I have to have in place, or else I'm going to resent what I do and this gift, this blessing, this burden I mean this gift, this blessing that we're doing, or this job, this calling it will start to become a burden.
Speaker 2:But what if, like I mean obviously somebody in your position you will probably get way more blessings your way, but me myself, like having you here is actually a blessing for us? Yeah, for sure. So it's kind of like for me, someone who's not in the same position as you, which I'm not comparing ourselves.
Speaker 2:No, absolutely, but it's more like oh, it's a great opportunity Take, Because you never know what this opportunity is going to take you to the next one For sure. So that's kind of like how I stopped smiling like that. That's kind of like how I saw it. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:Like it's. I say yes a lot, because I never know which one of these yeses is going to take me to the next thing, and then to the next thing, and then to the next thing.
Speaker 1:But you can be strategic with the yeses. I know, I know, I know there that you're saying yes to the things that matter.
Speaker 2:Yeah, of course, I mean, if I know I have something like that's important family-wise, I'm going to say no to whatever I need to do, that's for sure, you know. But those things don't happen that often, you know. But anyways, the point I was trying to make is that I just say yes a lot, because I never know what the next opportunity is going to be.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for sure, and there is seasons of that for sure, and there is seasons of that for sure, like there's seasons and when you come to protect your peace. People ask why I wrote this book, and I'll make it short 2016,. I'm on a 32-city tour my own tour, oh shit. And every major city in the US, right, and it's packed probably 800 to 1,000 people each venue and it's going great, right? Everybody's loving it except me. Wait what? Yeah, everybody me. Wait what? Yeah, everybody's loving it. You're just getting tired. I'm like I'm tired.
Speaker 1:So I had, I had things in my life that personally, I didn't deal with. I have professional things. I knew how to make decisions, you know, like firing people that I cared about close to me, but I was keeping around because I felt guilty, exactly, and so I'm carrying all this stress and I'm making everybody happy, everybody right, and I'm going backstage what they didn't even know, crying in my room like depressed. So I get to san francisco and it was at a point man, I'm not gonna say like I was about to kill myself, but I'm literally walking by the golden gate bridge just thinking like man, did I work this hard for it to feel like this?
Speaker 2:have I ever told you this, like I've had similar feeling. Oh shit, not like that, but yeah no, but like I know, I've told my wife this, because you know, like I've never been in full entrepreneur mode, you know, like it's only it's been like a little bit over a year now, Like I've been fully dependent on myself and I remember like I would just be driving like on, like Sasaki and I'm just that's the edge of a burnout, I know.
Speaker 2:But then I'm thinking to myself like shit, like if I'm thinking like this, imagine how many people are also like trying to go into business. Or like your friend like is just like feeling like overwhelmed, but there's nobody to talk to. Guys, whoever's fucking watching. I'm not suicidal at all, so don't put me on that watch list.
Speaker 1:But I think more people than have thought about that 100 it crosses your mind, 100?
Speaker 1:I'm pretty sure we asked people in this room, I'm sure everybody at least at least thought, maybe not in a strong way, but that in san francisco I had that moment and I was really to the end get on stage. And I said, man, after this one, I don't know what it's gonna be make everybody happy. Um, they loved it. I went back, I went to the back. It's just like a movie um theater and you know, like in the movies, at the alleyway with the smoke.
Speaker 1:So, I told B and everybody say, hey, handle everything up front, like I'm gonna go back here, I just need a break. They didn't know. I go back there and bawling my eyes out, and I have this moment and I tell people this is what protect your peace came from. So there's a homeless man walking down the alley and he sees me. This is a true story, facts. He sees me and you know he. You can tell I was just crying. Yeah, I tried to wipe it off. He said, hey, he's like you're the guy everybody's here to see, cause my picture's on the front.
Speaker 3:My name's on the market. I was like yeah, yeah, yeah and he was like man.
Speaker 1:He was like it must suck to be you, cause he's seeing me what? And I didn't want to engage in the conversation. I reached my pocket, give her a hundred dollar bill and like, here you go. He's like I don't need that, so I'm trying to push him away. He says, man, again it just it looks like it sucks to be you. And I was like why? And he was like everybody out here is talking about you. In the front I heard him and you're back here, basically depressed and sad. And so again I give him a hundred dollar bill. He said I don't need that. He said don't feel sorry for me, I feel sorry for you. He says, yes, it may look like and this is a life changing moment to everybody out there. He said it may look like I have nothing. On the outside I don't know, because I look homeless, but on the inside I have everything because I have peace, amen. So you, you look like you have everything, but you have nothing because on the inside, you don't have peace.
Speaker 1:From that moment, peace became the priority of my life. I make every decision based upon that this is when 2001?
Speaker 2:This is 2016.
Speaker 1:Okay, Because if you don't have peace in your life, you have nothing. That's why you hear stories of like millionaire I mean, you know celebrity found a mansion dead, Like how does that work?
Speaker 2:They?
Speaker 1:have everything. Yeah, because you get to a point where you realize everything isn't enough. And I tell people that with 16 million followers, you know financial freedom, all the things, it's still not enough because you're not free. And so you have to find something in your soul that makes you whole, makes you successful. And I try to preach that as much as I can, because people in position like OK, train, yeah, yeah, and you go search and get these things, you realize, oh, snaps, that these things don't fulfill me. That's the scary part, because once you get everything, you're like, well, now, what, now, what?
Speaker 2:So I must, just, I must just take my life Kind of like you lose your purpose once you find, once you reach that goal you wanted to reach, you're like, okay, what's the next thing?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think Drake said it and I love it. They were asking about his journey, whatever, and he was like how has he been so consistent? He was like man, I don't have destinations, I just enjoy the journey. I love that because you can have destination addiction. I'm not saying don't set goals, but so many people set goals so much.
Speaker 3:They live by goals, they live.
Speaker 1:Go somewhere that you reach standards of what you live by. So for me, I live by a standard, like I live by the journey. The destination will probably change anyway, but once you reach your destination, it's like now what you chase. This whole we're programmed to chase more and more and more and more and more, even with this, y'all know, like podcast numbers and like I promise you, once you get to whatever amount of downloads, it's going to feel good, but now set point of your happiness.
Speaker 1:Now you're like man if I don't get these downloads, then we're not doing much.
Speaker 3:You know it's true, you're the numbers guy.
Speaker 2:I would care less about the numbers we need to push this strategically, but I bet you at some point, you know something that you feel like, oh, this didn't do too well.
Speaker 1:At one point it was like this is crazy successful.
Speaker 2:I remember, like when we have the see you moto. I remember like because I have the see you moto, see ya. I remember like because I have another company content project which we we specialize in like making short-form content for company jolly pirates, all these people. And I remember when we heard our first million video going organic, super viral. Yeah, it's at 60 million right now. Like yo, let's go. Now another one hits me like okay, like right now, if a video doesn't hit like over 50k, we're like oh fuck, just think about that I know okay, I know, I know for a rule of, like you know, it's ridiculous and spend.
Speaker 2:So for us it's like you become back to where you're saying, like you become immune once you keep seeing all the time, all the time, all the time for shark 50 000 being like like mind-blowing. But for me I'm just like, yeah, I could care less.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, like 200 likes or 200. I'm good with that. I am not that type of person I I used. There was a very short period I got. I was like damn, in order for me to go sell myself, I have to make sure my numbers look good. And then it started becoming like feeling like a job and I was like wait this ain, this ain't the fucking vibe.
Speaker 1:People enjoy me because I'm just me.
Speaker 3:They don't enjoy me for my numbers. What the hell is a number? I'm like. You know what Fuck? All of that shit Like this is what you're going to get.
Speaker 2:And if you like it you like it.
Speaker 3:If you don't, then so be it, but I enjoy it. I enjoy my own company and I am I enjoy my company too much.
Speaker 2:Sometimes I'm like, yeah, I think it's a bit dangerous because this guy goes to the beach like seven in the morning, starts reading a book like chilling music vibes like who you're talking to, what?
Speaker 3:no, I love it, I love, I love my own company. So that's why I can like relate to this book so much, because it's like seems like you don't need it, but I do I mean, are you still? You can still get inspired by some cookies from in the book like for sure.
Speaker 2:What are some like golden nuggets in that book?
Speaker 1:yeah, so, oh man, there's so many obviously at the boundaries, like one thing. That was just on my mind, so I teach on your set point of happiness. Yeah, right, because people think happiness I don't know if y'all heard this happiness works off of what's Like. It's a popular quote and it means that you know whatever is happening in your life determines your happiness. That's external happiness, right. Happiness is an inside job. The problem is that we put our happiness in other people's hands. You can choose to be happy at any freaking moment, I mean this is the happy hour, right no-transcript is two.
Speaker 1:You can have a ten moment, but you can come right back down to two. You can have a low moment, you can write back down to two. So I teach people like how to move that needle, because even with success we just talked about it your set point of success now, okay, it's a million, whatever Boom. So, man, that makes it hard to feel happy.
Speaker 3:That makes it hard to feel like I'm doing something.
Speaker 1:So if you're a measuring stick now for success and I teach my son this all the time I had to learn this is like my success is not determined in the outcome, it's determined in the attempt. So if I say I'm gonna do something, I attempt to do it, like today on stage. I'm not successful because kids say, oh, this helped me or not. I'm successful because I showed up and I gave my all damn right and so you can be a hundred percent. Uh, you can have a hundred percent accomplishment rate if you attack things like that. So that's one of the big things. And the other thing that I would say is the art of fulfillment um, what truly fulfills you, and that's very important. I big things. And the other thing that I would say is the art of fulfillment Um, what truly fulfills you, and that's very important.
Speaker 1:I like to tell people doing what you love and who you love is how you live a fulfilled life. Because for me, it doesn't matter who I am to the world. If I walk in my house and I'm not everything to my world, to my kids, and you see it all the time, it's like Not me. But there was a time where I had to travel. I had to sacrifice, but I explained to my kid and my son at the time this is why I'm doing it. But you see so many entrepreneurs and people. They're everything to everybody else online and I know a lot of them.
Speaker 1:But their family, their wife, their husband can't stand them. And what's the point of that? You know what? I mean we lose sight of that and matter instead of the things that do. So I'm trying, always try my best and, like she knows it, we're always doing things that we love to do. It might not be anything successful, it might not be celebrated by the world, but at least it's making my soul happy and I'm feeling fulfilled Because if you have that, then then you're gonna be more successful than everything else because you have peace to operate.
Speaker 3:Damn, that's fine therapy session for me. 100. I'm like you're just reconfirming how I live my life. I'm like check, got that one all right. I'm good doing it, all right man.
Speaker 2:So you just mentioned about success today on stage you mentioned maybe I'm quoting it wrong, but you said success kills your dream, right? Something like, something along those lines. You said something about like the biggest you misquoting the man no I know, at some point you said, maybe I wrote it wrong, I don't know. You said something about like the biggest success killer, I got you yeah, yeah. Yeah, maybe I misquoted, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:So a lot of people think that the biggest dream killer of success is failure, right, which we all know, failure is a part of the journey, right, it makes up success. But I always tell people when you get successful right.
Speaker 1:That's where people tend to fall off.
Speaker 1:Once you get it right, once you get full off success, once you get all the notoriety, once you get full off success, once you get all the notoriety, once you get all the things that you will uh wish for and hope for. So my nfl career, to be honest, I worked extremely hard. Then, once I got there, I'm like I made it let's go to the parties. You got comfortable, absolutely, and that's why I fell off, and so you have to be able to say that's why I think destinations can be hurtful for you. That's why you got to be like this is who I am, so I'm showing up, this is the standard I live by and that's how you can continue to success. But a lot of people they reach a number or they reach a money in their bank account, whatever it is. They get their number and then that starts to decline of their whole entire journey back towards, because you feel like you already made it like oh, this is where I want to be made it that you don't have that same motivation and drive to keep going.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's, it's hard.
Speaker 1:It's hard to create the same hunger, so you have to try your best to do it. And I've had to switch things around in my journey of 15 years of doing this, where it's like man, how can I create hunger? How can I do this? Because I tell people all the time. People ask how does it feel when people tell you help change their life or stop this? And honestly, I said this. We had a conversation. I was like man, as crazy as it sounds, it doesn't hit the same because I've heard it so much. I mean, I hear it every single day and so I have to really work to understand where that's coming from and because at one point I can normalize. Oh, this is not normal. Somebody hit you up and said bro, I unloaded a gun because I watched your video Like I get messages every day.
Speaker 1:My main video on YouTube. Recorded it what seven years ago at two in the morning, because it was on my heart, I woke up and it's called it on youtube. If you're thinking about killing yourself, watch this. To this day, that video gets searched more than anything.
Speaker 1:To this day, look it up right now and you'll see, it is raw, bro, like yeah, I sleep in my eyes probably, and so I have to really work to understand the impact, because you can get normalized to anything. I mean you know it, like you can buy some shoes, buy a car that you love and once you get the car, it's called hedonic adaptation. That's what it's called scientifically. What's it called hedonic adaptation? So it's a treadmill that they call it. But hedonic adaptation a easy way to say it, to explain it is you get used to it. So you have to really work with appreciation and gratitude not to get used to something. That having something new like a new car everything like house.
Speaker 1:Like you, like man, I love this house. I'm going to pay these bills like it becomes a burden, you know, so you forget, and you have to work hard to find that appreciation in what you do so much like with like children and stuff like that.
Speaker 3:Like, can you just like for like a quick second talk about how fame also changes your life so much and how, like you really have to kind of be ready for it, because, especially since, like you lose all of your privacy- what jay-z said uh, fame is the strongest drug known to man, stronger than heroin, because it is like it's it's if you're not careful you'll get addicted to and you'll lose yourself in it.
Speaker 1:And people think that they want that. I think I talked about it today. Matter of fact, people think that they really want that, but you don't the two kids right, yeah, yeah you don't.
Speaker 1:I mean it's the appreciation is cool and the recognition is cool. But I've had moments where you know it's scary. You know I've had people make up fake relationships with me, you know, I mean like real talk and believe it like seriously, and I've had people come to the events and I had, you know, and I worry about my even right now, like I worry about my family back home, and you know, luckily, you know, um, we, I've never experienced nothing too crazy. But fame it changed you in a few ways. Number one it can change you, but also it changes the people around you.
Speaker 1:People have different expectations of you and it becomes very, very hard. That's why you see a lot of famous people like I can. You know the kim kardashians and everything like, even though I don't know their life, but I can only imagine what that's like, that every time you step out the house, you're this. Now, this opportunity is basically this piece of meat that, like everybody wants a part of you. Paparazzi, that's not a life that you want. I'm the person that's like man. I wish I can impact people and not be known to leave me alone exactly because I'm introvert, you know, I love my space, I love my time.
Speaker 3:But I appreciate it, but it is tough yeah, I feel like a lot of people are really not ready for it and like you, see people like really desperately they want it, they're like, and then how do I get that? I'm like in my, in my mind, I'm like listen, fame on the little island even it's like Jesus Christ anywhere you go, somebody recognizes you and somebody knows you, even if you don't know who they are. They're like oh, you're the guy from the podcast. I'm like how's your wife?
Speaker 2:that's me how's Tori doing? Do I know you?
Speaker 3:it's wild, you just lose all of your privacy, that's it, it's gone you mentioned I all of your privacy. Like that's it, it's gone.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah you, you mentioned, I'm gonna segue a little bit over here yeah you mentioned about um losing your mom two years ago. Right, was it two years ago? Yeah, 2021 yeah, how did? How did? I lost my mom as well when I was 18. To cancer oh man. So yeah, when you were talking about that, I was telling her, like I was told now, that fuck it's gonna hit me, I know it, it's going to come, because I don't.
Speaker 2:You know, I'm not a very emotional person, but once you go up the mom route and it's related. I'm like shit, but can you, if you want to? Can you talk about a little bit how losing your mom affected your life, or like how did it change your mindset?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it changed me forever. I'm not the same person. I'm not saying that's a bad or good thing. I just made a real that went super viral about that and I see a lot of people relate to it because some people don't understand. Once you lose a parent, it's a club you don't want to be a part of, but it's only a club you can understand. It's like a piece of you is gone and I was really close with my mother even to this day I have my.
Speaker 1:But I realize grief is not something you move on from, it's something you live with and I've always tried to keep her alive, even in this moment, talking about it, sharing her gifts and making sure I'm continuing her legacy. But yeah, the cancer part man. Like seeing her battle because she beat it Like she was kicking cancer's ass, like for like four times it went from her breast to her liver.
Speaker 2:Then it liver, then they hit her brain similar three times, yeah, because it transfers breast then, uh, her spine and then, oh yeah, everything is good. Eight months later she collapsed. Nobody knows, of course, they send her to columbia and she has it all over her, like in all of her bones, and that's like the worst one, like it's either. Time clock's ticking so and I was like probably 17, like almost 18 at the time, and I was 18.
Speaker 1:She passed away yeah, man and man, and you know she hospice it was during COVID, so hospice time and you know she really couldn't get out and it's like I saw her change right in front of my eyes. And March 5th, what was crazy, like my, so my book. March 5th.
Speaker 2:You're fucking kidding me.
Speaker 1:Promise Really March 5th was the last time I seen her alive. Shit, because my book Protect your Peace it was supposed to come out in January and I said, hey, man, we're not ready, we haven't marketed it and I was like it's holidays, it's the only day we have is March 5th and my book is dedicated to my mom. Yeah, last day I seen her alive.
Speaker 2:But March 7th was the last day. Yeah, my mom passed. Yeah, March 7th too.
Speaker 1:That's wild bro.
Speaker 2:That's fucking crazy man, that fucking anyways.
Speaker 1:So the trauma in that man was, you know, I probably still haven't realized it, but you know what people don't some people or most people know. But like that, two weeks messed me up because my so, 48 hours after my mom died, um, my daughter went to ICU and almost died, yeah, my four year old.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she, uh. So she was outside playing and she was across the street and literally we were just. We were laying down in the bed and I was explaining to. She called my mom, honey, how honey's angel and I'm planning a funeral. She's like hey, dad, you know our kids are. Can I call us out and play?
Speaker 1:just randomly I was like all right go outside and we get a knock at the door like 20 minutes later and they're like hey, the kid was like hey, maya passed out, maya's my daughter. And we're like okay, you know, maya, she's like. I was like okay. And I hear the neighbor, the lady's, screaming Trent, trent, and I run over there and I see my little girl laying there, not moving. When I get there, she had blood from her head. So what happened was she was playing outside, she was running, my neighbor was cutting his grass a little more, riding a little more, spit out a big rock about this size, hit her in the head 48 hours. And so I'm in the ICU with my daughter. You know her brain was swelling. She's fine now and I mean I can tell you a wild story just about the serendipity moment and that right. So while she's at the hospital, I get a call from my dad. So my dad just lost his wife, right?
Speaker 1:so hey, I know you don't want to hear this, trent, but your grandmother is in ICU. My grandmother died two weeks later, so my dad lost his wife and his mom. I lost my grandmother and my mom in that span In April.
Speaker 2:And almost lost her daughter as well, in March, in March.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I'm still having to be this person to the world. You know what I mean? I'm still having to show up and what I did was my typical style just vulnerable, like tell me what I'm going through, because I believe transparency is transformation, and with my daughter, just to tell you how certain things have to happen. I wish it didn't happen. But because of her getting hit by that rock, they did an MRI on her head. She had a thing that's called a glacioma tumor. They found that tumor.
Speaker 2:The tumor wasn't there because of the rock, it was already there, it was already there, so that rock actually helped you expose though, yeah, so we got some Whoa.
Speaker 1:look at this shit yeah.
Speaker 2:Goosebumps right now.
Speaker 1:And they said, hey, you know, come back in a year. We come back in a year, nothing's there, that's, it's gone. So, yeah, this was like my april and so that that that month changed me and like that's why we'll protect your peace, and like, when you hear me talk about things that matter, that's why, you know, I mean, because in that moment I was losing my daughter, nothing else mattered. I was like take it all, take whatever. We just move into our house. The house didn't matter, right?
Speaker 1:I'm like man, my daughter and I don't want people to get to those moments in life and you figure out like, dang, this really matters because because you're not promised another moment. And we hear that. But you know, even with mom, you know, and you wish you can create another memory because at some point that's all you have with people. And so, yeah, that was my and I I mean even a lot more happened that year. You know, I lost a very good, you know, uh, very good friend in the industry, you know, but I was just with him two weeks before and he passed. So it's just like boom, boom, boom and I'm like what's going on with all this? And so what?
Speaker 1:kind of like mental weight like they had on you like oh it's it, it changed me right it literally changed me and I and it's, I believe, it changed me for the better, because, with me having a platform, my messages were always that, but you gotta realize I'm writing protect your peace during this time. So, like I'm teaching the world how to protect their peace and in this time I'm having to learn how to do it, and so it made that book, I think, a lot more realer and deeper. 2023 right, I mean 2022. I'm like this is my year. Okay, man, mom's passed. I'm like this is my year. Okay, man, mom's passed. I'm going to get over everything. Memorial Day in the States what's that? March? I mean May, what End of May? My nephew, right, and I'm out there. He's like let's play basketball.
Speaker 2:Nothing happened to him by the way, I'm like here you go, Another story. I'm like come on.
Speaker 3:You need to say it. What's going on my nephew.
Speaker 1:He challenged me to basketball and sometimes you forget like they're not little, no more you know what I mean. And he's a really good athlete, right, yeah? And so I'm like, yes, play, and so, which I shouldn't have? Well, I should have, but anyways, I'm playing basketball, right, playing them, and I'm having to play harder than I would think because I'm like he's not a little boy, no more. Yeah, I take a step, boom. I'm like somebody shoot me. Bet you could have related to this my Achilles ruptured 2023 that's.
Speaker 2:That's more most of the same thing.
Speaker 1:Some people heard something snap you didn't realize in the moment, and so I'm never like for an active person that's running is my therapy, like, so now I can't run, I can't move, like when I say I'm a nature person, like I love it, like nature heals, I can't run I can't move.
Speaker 1:That's me. So in this moment and I'll fast forward the story we have a Bali trip plan right, couples trip in July. So I'm like, but I'm not going. Then all my friends were like, come on, brian, ain't gonna be the same without you. But something in my brain was like, bro, don't go. So then my wife says, well, if you go, trent, I mean you can't do a lot of things, but you can get a tattoo. And I was like, yeah, I get my sleeve, so I go to get my whole, just clean it, like that I get back on the plane. Going back home I was like, what's that smell?
Speaker 1:No, fucking way and my wound got infected and so, literally, if you send me I think he said like last year I came out I was still in the boot, that's a year later it's because my wound wouldn't close and I had infection, I couldn't heal it.
Speaker 3:So so let me, let me ask you this.
Speaker 2:I just want to say this like.
Speaker 3:This explains how fucking positive you are, so much like you've gone through so much things that I'm I don't think I could even handle half which is what I want to ask you like during all this time what's up with your faith like, what is like, even your relationship like with god or anything like that? Do you believe, like in the universe and like?
Speaker 1:I believe in god. You, you know I have a faith, uh, based like I came up as a Christian, so I believe in Jesus, um, and my relationship with God is a little bit different, um, as I gotten older. You know, I came up in the church. My dad was a pastor, but I find God in nature you know what I mean. That's where I have my conversations, you know, not just in the church, um, even though I'd still go to church and have community, but I find god that way. I believe like it's relationship, not religion, for me. Yeah, um, but at that time, yeah, I was angry man, even my mom, because I'm like my mom is the most faithful person, like why give her? Go give somebody terrible cancer?
Speaker 3:you know, I mean like, I mean I wish I don't nobody, but like why?
Speaker 2:why her yeah?
Speaker 1:and I struggle with that and I struggle with all these things. And, um, even my leg was, honestly, I mean, my mom was still hard, but my leg was depression. I wasn't ready for it, like I call it injury depression, like I was depressed. I've never had surgery in my life and it seems crazy and I think never. So now I can't move, I can't do all these things and again, I still have to provide, I still have to be a CEO, I still have to be a boss.
Speaker 1:I still and so, but my faith carried me through, and I always say this like it's a quote that I always live by God will allow you to go through places you don't understand, to bring you to the place where he needs you to be. So it makes sense now because, yeah, you know what you ever seen? That meme was like God, I'm tired of being your strongest soldier.
Speaker 3:Like pick somebody else.
Speaker 1:I was like that at a point Like pick somebody else. Yeah, I was like that at a point like pick somebody else, but because everything I went through, now I can be a example like that, you can get through this too. That was your journey exactly, and I wouldn't change.
Speaker 3:There was no other path for you to go through. You had to go through that exact thing, that exact way, that exact moment in order for you to be here today. There you go. God knows who you're going to impact like on this episode only you know what I mean, so like this is you're.
Speaker 3:You're exactly where you need to be. So I just want to know that on your faith, because I'm very much big on faith, yeah, I mean I didn't know where this conversation was gonna go in the beginning with, but I wasn't expecting this.
Speaker 2:Like, yeah, I feel usually we're super loud, laughing, talking, but it's like and I'm just like speechless over here, something, you say some things. I'm like having the same like March 7th. I was like what the fuck?
Speaker 1:like yeah how are you, though? Are you good with your mom, like, how are you doing? Are we having? A therapy session right now no, I'm just asking man, cause you know I'm good it's been.
Speaker 2:I was, I'm 35, so it's been. I mean, in the beginning it was hard, obviously, being a mama's boy and everything, but the only time, the only time that it hits me. Every time, because there's two songs anywhere I hear it, I'm like fuck, it hits me like a freight train. Is Hotel California, please? Or we Are All the Children by Michael Jackson, oh God.
Speaker 3:That's a deep song. No, she used to drag me to karaoke place, or we all the children.
Speaker 2:But michael jackson, oh god, yes, that's a deep song. Yeah, she bro. She used to drag me on. He's dragging me to karaoke every like tuesday, like this place, all grammys back in the day. She would drag me there and I'm like she makes me sing, like no, you just hear it's your favorite song, like fucking three doors down like singing that song. But like so every single time in the karaoke she would always sing like hold the california and michael jackson, that specific song. So now, every time, anywhere I go in the world, I'm, I'm, and sometimes in gusta they play like a remix on purpose and everybody, my old colleagues, they'll look at me. I'm like I'm okay, but other than that, like I think you know, I think it made me very my mom was the emotional person of the family. Yeah, my dad not so much.
Speaker 2:He's like the really work hard, you know, stop crying you know that kind of father, um, but like I feel like losing my mom also made me not so emotional, I'm just like and like shut the fuck up, get back to work yeah like I'm like that right, so you tell me he's not over it like I am over it you never get over it. You're over it, you just you never.
Speaker 3:You're never he's mad, but he's still. He's still uncomfortable if I say you should, he's gonna get very uncomfortable. You see what?
Speaker 2:I'll say, I'll say I mean I never said this on camera, but like my, my, um father-in-law, everything we go to connecticut we go visit my, my in-laws oh, you're shit. You're like hey son you see or like I can relate to you, love you. I'm like I can relate I grew up with all boys I grew up with all boys, yeah, in my house.
Speaker 1:My mom was the only woman in our house, so we didn't walk around like, hey, bro, love you, hug. So I struggle with that too. Yeah, because on the masculine side it's like, oh, you shouldn't show emotions or feelings, but I don't think we should, I don't think it's side it's like, oh, you shouldn't show emotions or feelings but we should.
Speaker 2:I don't think it's just that. It's just I was never thought. You know like people get into, like they teach, like care and love. And you know, tell people you love them. Like I tell my wife, like you know everything she's on the phone, she hangs up like, OK, love you, love you, love you. And my way of thing is like, if you say it every single time, I feel like it loses its meaning a little bit. So it's like if you eat a cookie, you're more about action what you're more about.
Speaker 1:Action like showing yeah, so I'm.
Speaker 2:I'm more like if I, she knows, like if I say, hey, I love you, she's like, oh my god, because, like I mean that feeling of moment that I say it, you know, but yeah, so like. For me it's like if you eat an oreo cookie every single day you can't compare it because if somebody but you that's different. I understand what you're saying. How do you know when they're going to die Like?
Speaker 3:you don't know that I mean, I show, I understand, so you should tell me when you love them while they're alive.
Speaker 2:Like what the fuck, sure Do I not text you? Hey, did you get home safe? Drive safe.
Speaker 1:Hey, did you not the? Hey, I love you.
Speaker 2:Hey, this hey, that not that you have kids, not yet. Okay, yeah, you have a daughter. That changed that, bro.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but yeah, I got you. Yeah, yeah, I was. Yeah, my, I have an older, my son's the oldest, but my two daughters, yeah, you got three kids. Yeah, so how did? How did you know?
Speaker 2:I feel like that's gonna happen to me, because I asked this to everybody. I've asked the christ, every single person who had a kid, every single guy friend that has has a kid. I asked them when you got your kid for the first time, did you feel like something internally changed? Right away Everybody says everything changed. I'm like did it really my guy? But I get the answer from every single person like yeah, there's something you can't explain. You see the world differently.
Speaker 3:It's from the moment you find out I feel like already I guess Maybe that has to happen to me. That positive pregnancy test is like bitch your life about to change you know what she just told me.
Speaker 2:You know what she just told me like three weeks ago. I think I'm going to get off the pill. I'm like ha, no, I'm going to buy it, break it, put it in her coffee, Like. Here you go.
Speaker 1:I'm just kidding let's delete that scene. No, we're not. No, but yeah, how did getting kids change your life? I want to know that it did. Well, my first, my first, tristan he wasn't playing.
Speaker 1:He wasn't no so and he knows this story. But, like me and my wife now, like we wasn't together at that time, so it was hard for me because I'm like I was playing, I was still playing the lead. I'm like man, I don't like, I'm not ready for this. This isn't like how I plan my life. Yeah, but it was the greatest gift ever, because once I hold, once I held Tristan, it was now, oh, somebody's following your footsteps.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, and how?
Speaker 1:I was living. I wasn't being terrible to people, but I was in a lifestyle that I have to ask myself like would I want him to follow this path? And my answer is no. So it gives you an accountability piece to think like, cause it gives you an accountability piece to think like because your son, more than likely, is going to do what you do act like until he can choose his own path. And so it changed me in that way, for accountability, for sure at some point, like just to like jump back real quick?
Speaker 3:were you like a little asshole jockey at some point, like? I was gonna ask at some point like, especially like when you just got into the fame and then you're like you're, you're in your party like um let's just say like, like, a, like a fuckboy lifestyle.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so do you mean like, like, like?
Speaker 1:different women and things like that are you.
Speaker 3:It's part of the top. For sure, I live the life, but I've always been a kind-hearted person. I never treated people like any type of way yeah, that's just.
Speaker 1:That's just who I am. I'm never gonna be like look down at y'all, like don't talk to me. Nah, I mean I might, you know, I have probably a smart mouth, at times I'm very witty or something like that but I'm never a person that's going to like treat people less. Nah, that's never me.
Speaker 2:I think everyone, not everybody. Some people, like when they get into a good time.
Speaker 3:You can't come to my vip.
Speaker 1:Now my problem I try to bring too many people with me. That's the problem. I try to bring too many people with me like everybody's success oh, come here.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's the problem. Right, you see them bills like man, I just spent three thousand last night when did you learn to cut that out, though? Oh yeah, well when I started.
Speaker 1:So my most popular video is a spoken word, or the one, I would say one of them, that changed my career is called friends you, if you ever get a chance, go listen to it. And the first line of that spoken word is if all you had to offer was friendship, who would still be around? And it came because I realized, once I lost the NFL title, once I stopped paying for things, I lost a lot of people in my life. When it got real, I would say, real situations expose fake people. When it got real, a lot of these people that were so-called one of my best friends, they disappeared. The ones that would blow up my phone they stopped blowing up my phone.
Speaker 1:I realized people only love you for what you do. They love the beauty that surrounds your life, the attractiveness that surrounds your life. They don't love you for Trent and, to be honest, I actually I wouldn't say dismiss, it's probably a strong word but I actually moved away from some friends that actually loved me for me because I got caught up in the lifestyle. Oh, this person loves the party. Okay, cool, let me hang around this person. And we started doing that. But once the party ended and all that, I realized I had nobody, and so even now that's why I'm like man you got to realize people just love you for what you provide them. You're an opportunity for people and it's okay, it's part of it, yeah, and so I had to learn that. But it was very, very hard and so I had to just cut people off, and my circle is small, you know. I mean, I'm cool with that. I don't have a big team, y'all seeing here I don't carry a lot of people around. That's a necessary weight, unnecessary baggage.
Speaker 2:If you're trying to go somewhere special, no need to do it I feel like that's something I went through this year, like because I stepped a little bit out of the party scene and I'm like those same people I use yo where you at. Can you give me? I'm like yo, I'm coming down tomorrow. Yeah, bro, I'm at 3 am. I'm editing a video right now. Peace, like why, yeah, no, but I I that's something I just recently went through this year is realizing, like the people like I used to party with a lot, or always yo, are we going out tonight? I'm like no, slowly but surely, you don't hear them from them anymore yeah they.
Speaker 2:You see them all out like as a group and then you're like shit. I never got a call like you know what I mean. Like yeah you start realizing, okay, they're starting to cut you off because it's a million fun. No more like, yeah, leave them, leave them out, which I'm okay with, you know well, in the beginning, like what the fuck? Y'all didn't call me but now I'm like I don't need that shit you know, so I I do understand that part damn man, this conversation though I don't care.
Speaker 2:I know you don't give a fuck about anything like oh, you don't like me you always
Speaker 3:been like that you had to learn for the most part, for the most part I've been like that, but I've before I used to really be like oh, I want to help everybody, I want to help everybody. Then at some point it was like especially, I think, when I started my business, made like really focused on it. Then I was like you know what? Like I really try to help everybody else, and then I always get the short end of the stick, and I was like yeah bitch. How stupid can you be though?
Speaker 1:How long?
Speaker 3:And I'm very much wake up in the morning, go for a morning run, head to the beach. I put on my music, I go to like make my little water, you know, pray, talk to God for a moment, and then I start my day. And in that moment is when I realized like okay, wait, it's about me first, like if I can be, if I can show up for myself first, I'm an asset to way more people so like let's put that first.
Speaker 3:I had to like really balance my life out, like, okay, you know what money ain't everything like fuck that, like you could put a price tag on that. But my men's piece comes first. So if mentally I'm not in it, I'm not doing it, that's just that. So I miss out on opportunities like to make money, but at the same time I'm like you're happy, I'm.
Speaker 3:I'm really happy I'm good, like god gonna provide some way somehow. Whatever needs to come for me, it's going to come, and that's what I ask god every day. From like you know what. Thank you for all the people you've removed from my life. Thank you for all the ones that you have currently in and thank you for the ones you're about to bring. What's for me, let it be for me. What's not for me, remove it.
Speaker 1:So you live on, do not disturb, like if I needed somebody to pick up, you would pick up the phone.
Speaker 3:He'll pick up the phone. If I'm on me time, don't call me nuts.
Speaker 1:In the book you will see what I call the 12 pm theory and literally it's basically that. So I'm on, do not disturb, and unless it's my team they're not going to get a hold of me, but I'm unavailable to the world before 12.
Speaker 2:Thank you. That's something I've been wanting to implement too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you can't reach me.
Speaker 2:Get your personal stuff done first you're more productive. Hit the jam, answer your personal email. Blah, blah, blah. Okay, who needs my attention? There you go.
Speaker 1:That's something I've been thinking about it's a great boundary to set a great one the best one.
Speaker 2:Guess I'm missing out. Shit, you really are. You really are, alright, so I think we're going to reach an end over here. Trent, is there anything else you would like to add, like from, or what kind of message would you want to give to the people who are watching right now?
Speaker 3:And plug yourself. Yeah, please.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I would just say whoever's watching this like to go live a legendary life, whatever that looks like for you. Don't let people put you in a box, don't let people tell you who you should be and what you should do, like, listen to your heart and follow that. And I do believe that greatness is available for each and every one of us. And Greatness is available for each and every one of us and I live by four words it all starts with you. So I would want to tell you like don't blame and complain, don't point the finger. You know, I believe about 90% of things in life don't go your way, and I believe 10% of life does, and I think 100% of your life depends on how you respond to that 90. So I would tell you, man, when things don't go your way, dust yourself off, keep trucking and give your best to the world. And so, as far as plugging anything just at trend shelton, go get, protect your peace. If you don't read because I know some of you I don't read books there's an audio book that's there perfect, that's him I got you, yeah, I got you I got you, don't worry about the okay, it's a
Speaker 1:monitor okay, yeah, yeah, no, but I mean it's like, uh, audiobooks.
Speaker 2:I mean I, I would buy a book and then I'd probably hear and read it at the same time.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But it's funny because I just canceled my Audible subscription. I'm like fuck, and now I've got to spend my credits there you go.
Speaker 1:I know everyone there.
Speaker 2:You go I can't cancel that, I spend this. I just told my wife I don't know what you want to get.
Speaker 3:There you go, now you're. I love a hard physical.
Speaker 2:I have a few like the four hour work week and all this stuff in the other room over there. Yeah, but well, Trent, thank you for coming on the show. I appreciate y'all Hope you have a good time in Aruba and I hope you come back every year.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, let's do that. You have to, let's do it.
Speaker 2:If not, we're going to talk to Atta. Guys, if you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe. Comment. Go follow Trent, get his book. If you're unstable like me, get the book. And we'll see you guys next time Peace Bye, Take care guys.