No Filter in Paradise
Two friends, one's straight one's Gay, with different backgrounds, interest, upbringing & outlook in life come together to have a Fun & honest conversation and discuss their opinions on different topics... with no filter.
No Filter in Paradise
Monique Samuels: From “The Real Housewives” to Authentic Living and Entrepreneurial Success | Ep 180
In this episode, we dive into the true essence of reality television through the eyes of a former cast member, exploring the personal struggles, relationships, and lessons learned from living in the spotlight. The heartfelt discussion offers insights into life beyond the cameras, the journey of personal growth, and the impact of fame on family dynamics.
• Behind-the-scenes struggles of reality TV
• The pressure of maintaining friendships in a competitive environment
• Personal identity and mental health post-show
• The challenges of parenting while in the spotlight
• Transitioning from reality TV to a successful business venture
• Valuable lessons about authenticity and self-care
• The impact of fame on family relationships
• Insights into the importance of genuine connections in life
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Rumor has it that sometimes the network will have a team of trolls, For sure, I believe that For sure To trigger things online.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah yeah, to start things up on social media.
Speaker 3:As a watcher, like what's real and what's not real? Like do they make y'all like, okay, go together, Like y'all aren't even friends, like go sit together and like make content. You feel like?
Speaker 2:it's a competition between everybody. Like, everybody wants to be there. I want to stand out more than you because I want to be the star. You can do what you want. Hey, I'm going to the movies. Like, have a break, go work in the office, be like, hey, I'm going to the movies.
Speaker 1:Fuck, no, you're not Get back to work, so that's why.
Speaker 2:Once you get to make all these decisions and be like you can kind of do whatever, wherever you want, basically. But how would that if I'm someone?
Speaker 1:right affect my partner I'm speaking in general.
Speaker 2:yeah, yeah, she's going to be like what the fuck are you trying to say? Right, right, I'm like what? What about you?
Speaker 3:I'm good All the girls. Did you establish a friendship eventually with anybody, or was it really like nah, fuck all these hoes.
Speaker 1:And I said I really like this girl Candace. I said, but she keep talking with her hands.
Speaker 3:Yeah, she might hit me talking like this, because there's an audience and there's cameras rolling and security to hold you back if anything happens.
Speaker 1:Exactly or so you think the security was there, but they didn't get there fast enough. Yeah, she was just like. Look at the end of the day, when you get married, however that person is, they're going to stay that way nine times out of 10 or they get worse. So, whoever you're marrying, make sure that's who you want to marry, not what they could be, not who they were in the past, who they are right now.
Speaker 3:That's a good advice.
Speaker 1:That's a good advice, that's a good advice.
Speaker 3:That's a good advice. That's a good advice. That's a good advice. That's a good advice. That's a good advice. That's a good advice.
Speaker 2:That's a good advice, that's a good advice. That's a good advice. That's a good advice. That's a good advice. That's a good advice. That's a good advice. But anything and everything between two friends, one is super mega married, fuck, oh my God.
Speaker 3:Married and straight.
Speaker 2:I know I'm sorry. When I go to the gym I take it off. That's disrespectful.
Speaker 1:I hear that so many times.
Speaker 2:That's some bullshit, but okay, super mega straight and married, but the ring's not there, I'll put it somewhere.
Speaker 3:And the other Is extremely duper, super duper, duper. Black and gay babies. You're black.
Speaker 2:Don't even play with it, I am.
Speaker 3:Surprisingly I think it was just a shadow. My sheep Turn on the lights and you'll see me Really. Maybe a smile, maybe. So gay babies.
Speaker 2:Don't play with it, guys. Today's episode, we're going to be completely honest. 48 hours ago I didn't know this woman existed. And then shark is like yo, I don't care what you have to do.
Speaker 3:We're making space on sunday.
Speaker 2:I'm like, bro, my schedule is full, but we're gonna make space, so usually I do introductions. I'm gonna hand it over to shark. Shark, it's all yours.
Speaker 3:Introduce our guests okay guys, so listen um. Shout out to everybody that knows me and they know how much I love a good housewife I want We'll go on trips.
Speaker 2:She's like in the room we have to go record. I need to finish this episode first. No for sure.
Speaker 3:I am religious, okay, so shout out to my good sis, ginger, that actually made this possible as well. But we are going to get into it with one of the most iconic housewives to ever do it. I'm sorry. Y'all know she is melanated. She is gorgeous.
Speaker 1:Thank you.
Speaker 3:And I recently found out she is also very much local. She's a Reuben, okay.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes.
Speaker 3:I also learned that we got my girl. Miss Monique is in the building.
Speaker 2:What up how you doing.
Speaker 1:How are you feeling today? I'm feeling really good. How are you doing? How are you feeling today? I'm feeling really good. But I'm like I'm looking at my nails and I'm looking at yours. I'm like, oh, my goodness, the beach has done me so wrong. It's okay, baby, but it's done me so right too.
Speaker 3:I'm like I had to get the melanin hydrated again. You need it. You need it, you need it. Yes, I love Aruba. Your skin is flawless.
Speaker 1:I saw it, I saw it.
Speaker 3:Okay, we're going to get into that as well.
Speaker 2:I do want to give a quick disclaimer. Go into it, Guys. This episode is mostly going to be these two talking for the majority of the time I just want you to know, because I'll be just like. You know how Shark has reactions. That's me today, Like no way. It's been a whole day.
Speaker 3:Fuck, I feel like it, but I also be you.
Speaker 2:you are I actually have no guys legit. I have no idea. Oh, this is where this conversation. I don't know where it's gonna go. This is a number super like wing it, like fuck it, let's go.
Speaker 3:So yeah, for sure let's keep moving. So, like please for samil and some of our other followers, please give us a little breakdown of who you are, okay, yes?
Speaker 1:so yes, first and foremost, I am a divine goddess. Let's go, that's number one uh, but yeah, I'm a mother of three. I have three children, uh, christopher, milani and chase, and I'm an entrepreneur. I'm a multimedia personality. I started off on the real housewives of potomac, when I was an actual housewife. I was married for 11 years. Clock that tv, yeah. So yeah, I was. Um, I started out on Real Housewives of Potomac and then I ended up starting my own uh sort of show, love and Marriage DC which flopped.
Speaker 1:I stayed for one season until they did the bull and then I left, um, but, yeah, went into radio and now I'm back to just being a full-time mom and entrepreneur. I have a business that sells essential oils and skincare products and other self-care products. It's called Mila Eve Essentials. And, yeah, I left radio, which I did for two and a half years so that I could do that full time, and then I'm a homeschool teacher, so my children are all homeschool and I needed more time. So, yeah, and I like to travel, I love to be in the air more than I'm on the ground.
Speaker 2:I'm not mad at that. You've been here like 20 times. That's what I heard earlier. That's crazy.
Speaker 1:I've literally lost count, because I started coming to Aruba with my ex in 2008. And I mean we were coming when there was one way in and one way out of the city. There was no highway. The Ritz Carlton didn't even exist yet. So yeah, I've been coming for a very long time long time.
Speaker 2:Sometimes we came two or three times a year. We love aruba. It's always what's not to love, though. When we were coming here, I was like wait, so it's your first time. Like that's my 20th time. Like what the fuck? Like yes, because I I was ready to ask you questions about aruba, like how was your first time that just fucking talked that script?
Speaker 3:out the only thing I could be finally prepared for is oh my goodness, it's crazy, I crazy.
Speaker 1:I've literally transformed on this island like I love it so much. Anybody that knows me knows oh, aruba, that's her spot yeah, I tell people all the time they're like where should I go?
Speaker 2:aruba why why are you coming?
Speaker 1:it's sunny, the beach is amazing, like, even when it rains, it's still incredible like the people are good, the food is amazing. Like I've made friends here, so I love coming here.
Speaker 2:It feels like home it really does make some new friends as well yes, I have new friends now and I'm good at seeing and touch, like I say, connected with people, especially where bridges are so close, like if you know, hey, yo girl, you're coming down, like yeah, all right, cool yo guy, let's go as soon as you said he does it all.
Speaker 1:I was like, oh, in my head I'm like he's a libra, I'm like what's your sign?
Speaker 3:no, because he does everything. I just show up and I'm like all right, let's get this shit started yeah, let's go.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's the dream. I wish I could do that.
Speaker 2:I'm working on that it's, it's hard, it's hard plus balancing this, plus managing the studio, plus building a house, plus doing this, plus, yeah, it's a lot. Yeah, at the end of the day, I tell myself, like you can either be doing this or you can go clocking for someone else.
Speaker 3:Exactly.
Speaker 2:So I'm like shut the fuck up and get to work. Exactly. It's the freedom for me, that's the main reason why you know I keep doing this. If I'm sitting in the office in the back editing, I'm like, fuck this, I want to take a two-hour break.
Speaker 1:You can do what you want.
Speaker 2:I'm going through the movies. Fuck, no, you're not getting that to work, so that's why like I, I don't mind like the hustle and working hard a lot, because yeah, I know at the end of the day will pay off yeah, you know it's so funny, um.
Speaker 1:So, like I said, I was in radio for two and a half years and that was my first time outside of like. I mean, when you do reality tv it's not a clock in, clock out situation, it's like, um, you know, a few months of filming and then you have press. But it's a lot of you have more leniency with your schedule than you do when you're working Like. So I was working in radio, I was on the morning show in DC, the good morning show on WPGC 95.5. I was, you know, I had to be there at five 30 in the morning and then I clocked out at you know nine 30, 10 o'clock.
Speaker 1:I'm out and I'll tell you. What really hit me in the gut is when I was on vacation. I took the kids to Belize a few months ago and when I came on my way back I hit up my boss and I was like, can I have another week? Because I just this was their vacation. Now I need to like have my own vacation. And she's like oh, we really need you next week. And I was like, did I just get told, no, like what A grown woman, what I'm like how old am I and I'm asking for permission.
Speaker 1:And that's when it really hit me. I already was like I need to make a move, just because the timing I was exhausting myself. I have three kids and my ex-husband and I co-parent, so I have them every other week. The week that I have them, I'm full mommy mode. I don't have no babysitters, no nannies, it's just me and the kids. And then when I don't have them, I'm recovering from the week before. So it was too much. But that right there was the tip of the iceberg. I was like hold on now I like freedom.
Speaker 1:People think money's the goal. No, freedom's the goal yes freedom's the goal.
Speaker 2:And you know what?
Speaker 3:It's, and once you also discover like peace of mind, I feel like it's something that you can't put a price on it. So you're like oh no, fuck, no, I have, I'll do everything to protect this shit exactly.
Speaker 2:It's also like it could also backfire in a way, because that's also something I'm going through right now yeah, in what sense? What? In what sense? In terms of like, yes, you have the freedom, but once you go this route, you can't really turn it off. No, so I go to go to bed. I'm like, oh fuck, I didn't post. God damn it.
Speaker 3:I didn't edit that part, but your problem is scheduling. That's your thing. Yeah, you got to, because if you get organized then you'll be able to rest, it is as a Libra.
Speaker 1:I was that way. I was that way.
Speaker 2:And I ended up finish this tomorrow.
Speaker 1:No, yeah, you got to. I had to establish office hours for myself.
Speaker 2:So I had a free day.
Speaker 3:So every Monday I just built this new office Balance.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, it's really important, especially for leave. It's because we are the scales. So it can take us to a point of exhaustion. And once we I created office hours. Every Monday was my rest day, and then Tuesday through Friday I would work from 8 am until 5 pm, and then I had the kids in between. You know if they're there and they need me, you know. So I had to shut it off because mentally, like you said, once you lay down, your mind is still up.
Speaker 1:Now you're not getting really good sleep, you're aging yourself faster, you're getting frustrated, all of that. Yeah, say goodbye to the good skin. Yeah, I'm telling you it's a real thing, you, my name is kinker process.
Speaker 2:I look young. Yep, yep, it'll do it, it'll snatch it up and I have. I have essential oils for sleep so my wife throws like lavender her and her pillow all the time.
Speaker 1:I'm like oh yeah, I have an oil that will put lavender to shame. It's called sleep tight and that's why I named it that Sleep Tight.
Speaker 2:You have some on the island right now I have some.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's in my room, I always travel with it, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:We'll take the leftovers. Yes, yes, I wish I would have brought it with me.
Speaker 1:It's inside the condo, but let me tell you that if I can give you, you deserve a break too. Trust, don't break her neck, I hope you're listening.
Speaker 2:I'll break my neck to make sure you're listening. It's all good, I'll get there Step by step. So what's like your?
Speaker 3:favorite your top three favorite restaurants on the island.
Speaker 1:Oh, definitely Gianni's.
Speaker 3:I love Gianni's.
Speaker 1:I love Gianni's. I love when they do the big cheese.
Speaker 3:The wheel, the wheel, the wheel.
Speaker 1:oh my goodness and they just yeah, my kids go crazy for that and they have a really good eggplant dish. It's like one of their appetizers. But everything's good at Gianni's.
Speaker 2:I love it, do you feel? Because it's kind of controversial. When it comes to that restaurant, people are like it's a little overpriced for what you get, but it's also in the district with you know all the tourism is yeah so what I was told is that he ships all of the ownerships, all of his food, directly from italy, so you're getting top quality it's the closest you'll get to italy without having yeah, they have they have their own distribution company.
Speaker 2:So they they get to pick. You know you go to like different companies you have to get what they have. You don't have a choice. Yeah, so at some point they were like fuck it. So they just started their own distribution company and they bring their own meat. They go to Europe pick their own meat. Wow, we're shipping this to Aruba, we're shipping that to Aruba. So I will give you that part which, when it comes to like the quality of food, it is where they want it to be from, you know what.
Speaker 3:I mean yeah, and they have their own bakery, so they're getting fresh bread every single day.
Speaker 1:I'm telling you so it's like it's a nice way to like treat yourself you know, yeah, so that's always like my kids, I'm like, I mean for years even my youngest he's like oh, we get to go to gianni's like if I tell him we're going to aruba, that's the first thing he says now I don't eat uh meat anymore, but old fishermen was my spot I used to love the old fishermen so when they they were um, they had a location that was by the uh the mall, near where the boat stocked, you know the outdoor mall.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Right here Urbamain they had that spot, but then it ended up Off the road here yeah. Yeah, so then they ended up getting a new location. I came here during quarantine and it was like Palm Beach, right, palm Beach right?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think so, but it's kind of hard to get in. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:But yes, door, I just had last night the indian spot. I've never been. I've been once a long time ago. Let me tell you they have a signature dish that they say you can only get from this restaurant because the owner created it. It's mushrooms and they they fry it like a tandoori style and it's like really red. It tastes like chicken and I haven't had chicken in probably almost 10 years. It literally. But it tastes like chicken, but in a good way. The way they fry it incredible. We went through pans and pans of that last night.
Speaker 3:Oh stop.
Speaker 1:Yes, and my youngest. He's never had chicken before ever. He's five. So when we ate it and I was like, oh my God, it kind of tastes like chicken.
Speaker 2:He said yeah, it's crazy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was really good. I mean, everything at that restaurant was good last night.
Speaker 3:That's one thing I love about Indian restaurants is that they make such good substitutes for like meat, yeah.
Speaker 2:You don't even miss it?
Speaker 3:Nope, yeah, that's one thing they're really really good in, so I'll give them that for sure.
Speaker 2:Oh yes, oh man, I know right, I'm like, here you go.
Speaker 1:Listen. My kids are like, oh, we're coming back here.
Speaker 3:We ordered extra food to go so they can heat it up tonight after the beach so I want to talk to you about like moving into your 40s, like how has that changed your life, how has that changed your perspective on viewing life? And like reacting to stuff and all this good stuff, like, oh, what is 40 done to? You 40s is the best. It is like living here last year, right.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, I'm 41 now and I was here last year for my birthday by myself.
Speaker 3:And it was incredible.
Speaker 1:I was right on Eagle beach, um. So 40 is like the twenties, with more wisdom and life experience. I love this age. It's like prior to this, everything was research, you know. And now that I'm, now that I'm beyond 40, now I'm really living, you know, because you understand everything now. Yes, if you're lucky enough and you actually want to grow, you get to a space where it's like I'm really doing things for me, I'm really enjoying my life. I don't care what anybody else has to say. Your ego starts to become less, you get it into balance and it's like I could care less about doing things to make other people think whatever they want to think. And then it's just this beautiful space of just accepting yourself. You become powerful and, like I said, if you go through the growing journey, the right way my goodness, let me tell you, it is like I'm the happiest I've been ever with myself.
Speaker 1:You know, I feel like I'm moving with intention. I follow my intuition. I'm very discerning. I don't just do stuff to do it anymore, like I'm very protective of my energy, who I'm around and I don't. I don't have to be surrounded by people just to say I'm with people. It's like I'd rather be by myself and most times I am I change my phone number.
Speaker 3:You enjoy your own company.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like I change my phone number right before my 40th birthday and when I tell you my phone hardly ever rings. It's like family and that's it.
Speaker 3:I can't wait to enjoy that.
Speaker 1:Oh, I love it, I love it, it's. I look at my phone like don't nobody ever text me and I'm like, oh yeah, that's right, I made it that way, that's right yeah.
Speaker 2:No, I love it. I do have a question regarding that. I don't know if it's controversial or not, but you said because you're on your own, you kind of do things for yourself. You're currently single right now, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Is it because you're single, you get to make all these and be like you can kind of do whatever you want, basically. But how would that, if I'm someone that had that same mentality of like do what's right for me, but I also have a partner how would that affect my partner.
Speaker 1:Well, I tried, I tried to incorporate my partner in that when we were married.
Speaker 2:But what happens is I'm speaking in general. Yeah, that's fine, oh yeah, yeah, I was going to be like what the? Fuck, are you trying to?
Speaker 3:say what about you?
Speaker 1:Yes, no, it's a beautiful thing when you reach this point in life and you have someone that is on the same page.
Speaker 3:They're open to the growth.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so it's like they have to be open to the growth they have to grow themselves. It doesn't mean you have to grow at the same rate.
Speaker 1:You don't have to be doing the same things, but the fact that you're both saying, hey, here's where I am now. Yeah, you know, at the point where you start to change and you start to find yourself and you're now like, hey, I matter if that person doesn't agree with you, and they're like no, I just want you to do for me, and I want your focus to be on me, what happened when your focus was on me and they started throwing a temper tantrum because you're looking out.
Speaker 1:That's when it becomes an issue yeah so it's like you have to be on the same page, and that's what marriage is supposed to be in my opinion. Opinion it's supposed to be I look out for you, you look out for me.
Speaker 2:If I'm going this way like hey, you coming with me, or what, Right, it should just flow.
Speaker 1:But when you get to that point and it's not flowing anymore and you're fighting and fussing and then it becomes overwhelming because you're like, wait, I don't want to keep doing this for the rest of my life. We're not hearing each other, you know. So then that's when it's like it is some people, it works and they're able to grow together, and then some people it just it exposes that hey, y'all were really never growing together.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So what was the breaking point? You would say, like in your marriage, to be like you know what, monique, this is it, girl. Like it's not going anywhere anymore, like this needs to happen.
Speaker 1:Yeah, going anywhere anymore, like this needs to happen. Yeah, my therapist asked me a very important question and, mind you, a lot of the things that I was asking for within my marriage. It had been the same since we were dating. So it wasn't like, um, it wasn't like it was something new, it wasn't like I just woke up one day and was like, all right now I have all these new requests.
Speaker 3:It was the same stuff.
Speaker 1:It was just like hey, like let me in, I'm your wife, like stop treating me like a fan, like you know, don't give me surface level. Like let's go deeper, let's talk. But if you haven't done that work on yourself, you don't really know how to be open and vulnerable, and especially if you weren't raised in a household where that was encouraged. So for me, I was raised in a house where we were talkers, like my parents, let us express ourselves respectfully, and we were encouraged to talk. And my ex, he was the opposite, he was raised in the opposite way. So, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So for me, the breaking point was just when my therapist asked me. She said look, if nothing else changes, and he is exactly who he is for the rest of your life and you are feeling how you're feeling and you're very unhappy. You don't feel like you're fulfilled in a relationship. Would you stay? And she's like I don't want you to answer now, I want you to really think about it and then the next time we see each other next week, I want you to tell me what you think. And she said and write it down, and don't write it as if you have someone over your shoulder that's reading it, she said be very open and vulnerable with yourself, tell yourself the truth and really think about it. And I journaled and I wrote about it and I was like you know, I can't do it.
Speaker 1:I can't Because if I've been saying the same thing for all these years, well over a decade, you know, of being together and I'm like what's going to change now? And then, if you do start to make changes, are they real changes or are you just trying to appease me, which is typically what happens, and you already accepted this person as they are for all these years.
Speaker 3:You accepted that they did not deliver what you wanted them to deliver. In a way I don't know that I accepted it though.
Speaker 1:I think that even me, just owning up and being accountable for my part, I was trying to change him. You know, it's like who he was. He always had been that person and in my mind, being young, in your 20s, thinking that, oh, you're be, or what he told me he would be, you know, in the marriage. So once you get to a point where you're just like, okay, the things aren't adding up, the math isn't math and saying this in five years after I didn't see any progress.
Speaker 2:What's actually? Right like five years in the family like yo, listen what the fuck is going on here.
Speaker 1:Yeah and, honestly, my um, my therapist. She said all of these amazing things that I wish I would have heard before I got married. Yeah, and she's like you know, listen. Yeah, she was just like look at the end of the day, when you get married, however that person is, they're going to stay that way nine times out of ten or they get worse. So whoever you're marrying, make sure that's who you want to marry, not what they could be, not who they were in the past who they are right now.
Speaker 2:That's a really good advice. Yeah, yeah, I thought about it that way, thank god, yeah, yeah look, some of us are luckier than others.
Speaker 1:You must have a better idea of who you are, and she has a great idea of who she is, and then y'all come together as whole people. That wasn't the case for me. I was very much looking for him to love the parts of myself that I didn't really like.
Speaker 3:And how harder was it knowing that you have kids with this person as well.
Speaker 1:That was the most difficult part. But you know what woke me up? I started to look at how our marriage dynamic was and I was like, oh my God, this is sort of like what I grew up in and I accepted certain things that were unhealthy because of how I was raised. And then I'm looking at my children like, oh my goodness.
Speaker 3:You're going to normalize this for them?
Speaker 1:Yes, I'm like they're going to think that this is normal and then they're going to grow up and they're going to find themselves in a similar situation, doing the same things, and then it just that's the generational curse. So I had to make a decision. I was like do I break this? Yeah, so I was like I'm breaking this.
Speaker 2:And when they get older, they will recognize it and they'll appreciate it. Everybody understands. When they get older, yeah, for sure you can tell me you'll understand. When you get older, yeah, sure, no for my children.
Speaker 1:it was two months later, after the divorce was finalized. We we were in Cozumel for Chase's birthday. We travel for birthdays. They think that your birthday is synonymous with beach, so they don't hear anything otherwise. It's like which beach are we?
Speaker 3:going to? Where are we going? We do beaches in this family Right.
Speaker 1:My son Chase is the funniest. He's an old soul. I swear he must have been a billionaire in his previous life Because, homeboy, he was turning. Yeah, he was three, yeah, he was three, turning four. And I said where do you want to go for your birthday? Um, zan's the bar, excuse me, sir we are not how about cosmo?
Speaker 1:and that's where we went. But no, um, we were at a dinner, me and the kids, yeah, and um, we were laughing, we're joking, we're celebrating chase. And my daughter looks at me, who at the time was eight, and she said, mommy, you know what I noticed? And not to be mean, but I noticed that ever since you divorced daddy, you've been a lot happier and more energized. And then my oldest, he was 10 at the time, christopher. He was like yeah, I'm not going to lie, I have to agree. And I just looked at them like wow, it like literally brought tears to my eyes. I didn't expect it to hit them, I didn't expect them to be that observant that soon. And then it made me wonder, like what was I doing while I was in the marriage? And my daughter, all the time she says mommy, you're not as snappy, you don't yell.
Speaker 3:Like you're very calm with us, like because I'm able to be the mom I wanted to be without feeling like this tug of war, you know, because you're also in your best version of yourself as well, so every decision you make is just for you.
Speaker 2:You don't have to think about like if I do this, what is he gonna think? Or is she gonna think like? Yeah, convince them and do it because they're gonna be unhappy or trying to appease.
Speaker 1:You know that's what I mean.
Speaker 2:Like you can try to do something for them, you know, you know it's not good for yourself, because yeah if I don't do this, I'm gonna be unhappy, but if I do, they're gonna be unhappy.
Speaker 3:So let's appeal to their happiness yeah, yeah, which is something I always tell you. You have to stop that I knew it, he always does this even with like friends, and it doesn't not just like relationship like friends, every, every single thing. I want everybody to be happy.
Speaker 2:You good, you good. That's a typical Libra quality. That's a typical Libra quality. I don't think I'm having a fucking Leo or something.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'll be like shark, no, but no, let me tell you, he's being who he truly is at the core, like that's how Libra is, that's how I was, but up though you get to a point where you're just like you know what. Sorry, go ahead.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, no, you're good. You know when they say, when you make a lot of money, it just exposes who you really are. Yeah Right, I'm just going to be poor for the rest of my life because I'm capping everybody.
Speaker 3:You need someone, Bro.
Speaker 1:I got you, you need something.
Speaker 2:If he does, he'll help us follow up.
Speaker 1:Oh, my God. And let me tell you that and that's the problem is that we will handicap people. We will literally put them in a position where we're doing so much for them that they never learn to do it for themselves. And that was me and my marriage. That was me and my marriage, and I enjoyed. It's a good thing you're sitting here today.
Speaker 3:It's a therapy session.
Speaker 1:Right, right, but I enjoyed it. Version of me enjoyed being that person that could be reliable and dependent on and I valued myself based on what I did, not who I was. I felt like if I was sitting on the couch chilling, I wasn't good enough so I had to be moving constantly, you know. But then I got to a point I was so burnt out I was like I can't do this anymore what?
Speaker 3:yeah, yeah, so it's a lot, it's a lot all right, okay, yeah, no, because now I want to talk about, like the house wives.
Speaker 2:Okay, so before we get in there, okay, because again I'm coming here like fucking blindside. I don't know what's going on, so I just want to know like, how did you get involved in this whole housewife? Yeah, oh, yeah like how did you like who came to you like? How did this happen?
Speaker 1:yeah, it's so funny. So my ex-husband, when the show housewives of Potomac first started showing that it was a thing and people started buzzing about it, I remember him saying to me you could do that, you could be on that show. So he was always like yeah, he was always like you could do it. What's really funny and a lot of people don't realize this I was the more private person.
Speaker 3:You know, like I was the way.
Speaker 1:I was very private, but when I open up I'm wide open. But I was that person that I didn't have social media when I started Potomac. I had to actually get a Twitter and Instagram account and then I had Facebook only from when we were getting married and I still had that Facebook page, but I would post pictures of me and my son and I would cover his face like I was that private, you know, and I was just like I like watching reality TV. I would never do reality TV Like. Ain't nobody about to be all up in my business.
Speaker 1:So, that was me. But then time passed and then someone one of my friends back then reached out to me and was like hey, they're casting for Potomac. And I put your name in the hat I think you should do. Yeah, he's like I think you should at least just do the audition. And I was like what? No? So I hang up the phone, I go into the living room and my ex and he's like who? Was like what was that about? I said they're casting for Potomac. That show that you keep telling me I should be on Um. And I told him I'm like no, he was like what, you should do it Do the audition. I I'm looking at him like really, I'm like you would be down for that. And he was like I mean, why not? I mean I feel like it would be a good platform for your business, and so I'm like all right, let's just do the audition.
Speaker 1:So that's how it happened. And then, lo and behold, here we go.
Speaker 2:You know, it's crazy how like one decision can like literally change the whole trajectory of your life Every single thing, it's wild.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, it definitely gave the platform. But all the drama in between I was not ready for it, wasn't ready for it, oh my god as a watcher, like what's real and what's not real?
Speaker 3:like do they make y'all? Like, okay, go together. Like y'all aren't even friends.
Speaker 2:Like go sit together and like make content is the beef and all that stuff real, or I don't know about other people's shows, but on my show it was.
Speaker 1:What's funny is the thing that I didn't like about Housewives is that most times you don't know the women, but you're supposed to act like on TV like, y'all know each other. So now, if you say something shady, or you take somebody's side and you're introduced by this person as your friend.
Speaker 3:The audience is looking like oh, that's messed up. Y'all been friends for years. It's like I just met her on camera like what.
Speaker 1:I have no idea who she is like, but I have to act like it. And then, once the show airs, they'll take different scenes, they'll take things out of context the editing. That's how it goes, but guess what I'm doing press I have to own it yeah I have to own it, oh my god. So now I have to buy into the narrative that they're putting out there so that we can promote the show. It makes it even more real. But when we're filming for me, I'm filming my real life.
Speaker 3:I'm being who I actually am.
Speaker 1:I'm not turning up. I was actually turning down for cameras. I'm a very big personality, very silly, very fun, and I was finding myself actually being less of that on camera, to just kind of be a little reserved and kind of like read the room a little bit. Yeah.
Speaker 2:It was definitely giving that. But it's also like when you're on camera. It's not like you're just the three of us here, it's like a bunch of people are watching, so you don't want to be like you don't want to go too crazy on camera. Meanwhile, be like what the fuck is this crazy chick like being so jolly?
Speaker 1:no, but it's a weird thing when you're in that room, and especially once the once the drinks get going, you forget that the cameras are there, oh yeah but then it's like everybody wants their moment. You know, everybody wants the moment where it's like Let me watch my angle Let me make sure I look good. Girl. You know, let me throw this bottom over here. This is going to look good and, ooh, this is going to make the super tease, oh God. So you have people that think that way.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And then you still have to be aware that you're being you know, recorded. But at the same time, you still want to be yourself.
Speaker 2:Do you feel like that's a competition between everybody?
Speaker 1:everybody like everybody wants to be like I want to stand out more than you because I want to be the star, absolutely, absolutely. You have a lot of that.
Speaker 3:You have a lot of they pick who they want to be the star you know they choose, yeah, the production, the network, they will choose, and then they want to show push it that way, it's true yeah, so they'll show people favor.
Speaker 1:But usually the ones that they pick is for a reason it's because they're the ones that will do whatever they tell them to do.
Speaker 3:I was not that one.
Speaker 1:I was the one where they'd be like, say this, say this, say that, and I'd be like that's not something I would really say in real life.
Speaker 2:So no, I'm not saying that, right.
Speaker 1:Like I'm not saying that.
Speaker 2:I've had him on the show. I don't hey, listen with this gas, just let's go easy. Don't do this, sharky. You want something to say? No, I'm good. Literally said nothing Like maybe 15 words. I was so embarrassed that day.
Speaker 3:Because how the fuck did you tell? Me not to be myself. I cannot do that. I'm not a fake person. I always have to just keep it real, like this is what it is, like you'll get what you get, yeah.
Speaker 1:I think I was a little. People always tell me I was a little into the idea of like, let's make this a friendship, let's really get to know each other on and off camera.
Speaker 2:Let's make this show. It doesn't benefit them because fights.
Speaker 1:There's no drama, right right, or they just don't like you.
Speaker 3:She's so weird, get the fuck out of here. I have to say and this is no Tino shade again, shout out to America. But American culture is very different. Because, like All around the world or I feel like for the Caribbean for sure we were like oh, monique is so real, this is a breath of fresh air. You don't have all the fake stuff. But when we saw different actions happen, I'm like what do the Americans be seeing that we don't see? Because it's like what did she do?
Speaker 1:I don't get it Right, right, right. It's funny because you have a vast majority of people who you know they're triggered by what you do because they wish they would do it, they wish they could do it, you know. Then I have a lot of people that come. I've not had one person actually approach me in person and say anything negative or anything Like I've only been shown love, like everywhere I go, like I'm very grateful for it. But then you have you have trolls then also, rumor has it that sometimes the network will have a for sure?
Speaker 2:I believe that for sure.
Speaker 1:Like trigger things online yeah, yeah, yep, to start things up on social media to say little things, just to kind of get under your skin, but for me me I was just like I'm like Teflon, I'm like you're not going to get under my skin.
Speaker 2:I really don't care, it's not that easy. Did you know anybody prior to going on the show, or did everybody that was new to you? They were all new, okay.
Speaker 1:Now we all some of us had. The show was when I started filming. That's crazy.
Speaker 3:I remember when you came on, it was like it was said okay, Charisse was your friend, they paired me with her.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she was the most believable because she came from the NBA world. I was coming from the NFL world with my ex. We would go to the games, we would be courtside seeing her husband, her ex-husband, now coach. I never even knew that she was his wife. Like I didn't know.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:He definitely didn't move like he had one. What did you do before the show Clock that T? I was listen business manager. Um, so my ex had several properties. So even before we got married I was like managing all his business I was like his assistant, you know so yeah.
Speaker 1:So then, once we started having kids, I was just a stay at home mom and I started this company called not for lazy moms, where I would teach people how to use like natural remedies for their children. And it started because a friend of mine she had a baby and she was just like I don't want to give my baby these medications. Can you tell me what I can use instead?
Speaker 1:And I would give her advice all the time and she said you just need to start a website that just has all this information and I was like you know what I'll do it and I time, yeah, and I did that and um. So, yeah, I would stay at home, mom, and just like handling whatever needed to be handled. I'm paying the bills. I'm, like you know, managing the properties.
Speaker 2:I'm scheduling all the behind the scenes stuff, like make sure everything is like yes, seamless, yeah, seamless, yeah. And everything's in control, everything is good, like you keep doing what you're doing.
Speaker 1:Yes, I'll handle the rest over here. Yes, don't worry about it. That was me. That was me, the great part, yes, so back to the show.
Speaker 3:I'm sorry, I'm a housewife, I will be. It really like nah, fuck all these hoes.
Speaker 1:They were more so work friendships. It's like the same as when you have a coworker and you're just like we work together, we're going to show up. So let's stay in touch and let's like you know, let's make sure we're good and spend time with each other, because it creates more storyline for camera. You know that type of deal. I keep in touch the most with Ashley Darby, yeah, yeah, so I still see her here and there.
Speaker 1:She pisses me off, but I love Ashley yeah but let me tell you, ashley does her job, she does, she takes her job very seriously. She be cracking me up because she be like yeah, Ashley is the pot stirrer. She is the one she is the one that is going to stir the pot. She's the one where you can be like hey, we're not talking about this on camera. She'll be like okay, as soon as the camera's rolling. So what happened the other day when you did. That's Ashley, so I heard that the other happened.
Speaker 3:Ashley is going to stir the pot. She's the boom cut. Listen, she's the boom cut. Listen, she's the Sharia Potomac.
Speaker 1:And she's so funny to me because she'll just be like, yeah, I'm really starting to like some of these girls. And I feel bad but I mean, hey, I got to do my job. Ashley is hilarious, she's the best. But yeah, it's weird, you can tell her from the room, how she's here and listen.
Speaker 2:So, oh man, she is messy but she's in real life.
Speaker 1:She's a sweet person like she really is. You can see that, though she is, she really keeps to herself like her friend's circle isn't really that big, like she's very low-key her friend's circle is messy, the ones that she's on the show, but that's the thing, you gotta know who to bring happy eddie.
Speaker 3:Oh my god, actually there's so much.
Speaker 1:Actually, now she's singing as well yeah, she's been singing for a while. I'm like ashley her and candace.
Speaker 3:They're forever gonna have this rivalry. I'm like, oh my god, ashley singing now she, now she made a house, a house song.
Speaker 1:I'm like girl. Oh, she did I. I don't keep up when I tell y'all I barely even turn my tv on like I. Literally I don't be knowing what's going on in the world.
Speaker 3:I'm not mad at that at all. Okay, so, um, so, all this is going on. What is okay? So what is Giselle like for reals, because I know that was your first person. It was like from the first sit down at the high tea. I try to be cool with everybody.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, she's really a nasty person, Like even in real life.
Speaker 2:Yeah she really is. Everybody says that yeah, I've had so many. Look at the googly's face.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I've had so many people who are like fans of the show that will come up to me with stories, and they will always be. I was so disappointed. I was so excited to meet her. And then I met her and she was so snobby and she was yeah, her, she's just a nasty person in real life, Damn.
Speaker 3:The Green Eye Bandits.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Sometimes, like you have, you have people that do these shows. They survive because they don't mind being that villain or just yeah, it's like they'll do whatever to get that check and keep it coming and they have no karma. I mean they have no fear of karma. But yeah, karma will catch up with you and if it doesn't catch you, it'll catch that neck.
Speaker 2:I want to clip that part. Not the neck, everybody know I feel like some news again like I'm not saying anything, but like I mean looking at her age and everything. I feel like as you get older, you have to have a certain bitch personality to stay relevant otherwise you're like, especially in those shows, for sure, for sure she has, but she's always been this.
Speaker 3:I feel like for sure she'll get to a point.
Speaker 1:You get to a point, I guess, for some people to get to the point where they just accept it and they just say all right, well, this is what I am. Yeah, I was not that person.
Speaker 1:That's why reality tv didn't work for me, because I wouldn't buy into what they were trying to portray me as they tried to portray me as this spoiled, like you know, uh, you know, kept woman they really try that they try like oh, she's an nfl wife, but my thing was like they try to paint the whole gold digger picture, all of that, and I'm like I'm doing all the work up in this house, like I'm running this stuff Like I didn't even say it.
Speaker 3:Like he.
Speaker 1:he is the type of person that he just wants to chill, like he don't want to have to have any responsibilities or do anything, and I was a worker bee, so it was the perfect combination for us back then, you know. So, like I was always, I was handling everything and I had no problem handling it. I enjoyed it, and so it just got too much for me, you know understandable.
Speaker 2:Would you ever get back in reality tv?
Speaker 1:it depends on the type of show. Like if I was, if I was to like be like an host or something like that, then I could do that. But reality tv will always be in edited reality. You know, it's like they're going yeah, yeah, you live your.
Speaker 1:It's like they're going yeah, yeah, you live your life and then they're going to create the story that they want and then they're going to take the pieces from your life that they want that will fit that story and it's nothing you can do about it. It's for entertainment, you know, people want to see the drama.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but at the end of the day, it's on your expense too.
Speaker 3:like you and your family, you're such a fucking bitch like yeah, yeah, I saw you on tv.
Speaker 1:I'm like right, and people feel like they know you based off of they really do like people are so convinced that my former mother-in-law didn't like me. She made a comment to me on the show she's I set that heifer straight she, me and her have never had a relationship where we didn't like each other. Now have we had moments where, when we got married, it felt like she was losing her son.
Speaker 1:You know things like that that's normal right but we've never had a relationship where we couldn't be in the same room, or you know, and people are so convinced after watching just that one episode that, oh, she never liked him and chris, you know he was, she was in his ear and watch reality tv and one thing that people don't understand is that, like my ex-husband is the most strong minded person you will ever meet.
Speaker 1:You are not going to get him to do anything that he doesn't want to do. I tried for 17 years, trust me. But when people say, oh, he had his mom in his ear, no, he didn't. Like, let me tell you he will shut things down. That's one thing about him. He will shut things down and be like nope, I ain't doing that. Nope, I don't feel like it. He'll look at you and be like this He'll be like I ain't doing that. So it's funny how people really think that they know your situation and I'm looking at our re-comments like y'all are so stupid.
Speaker 2:Like yeah but that's why I don't really like, I don't really watch reality, because it's what you explained just now. It's like it's it's a version of the production team. Being in this business, I realize this as well like, yeah, you can, I can edit anything into an area of the eye. I can make a little highlight, yeah, about this clip.
Speaker 3:And then when you watch the show, like wait, this is completely what I wasn't expecting, yeah, like what it was, but I have to do it that way, you know.
Speaker 1:But you need to because you want to pull people in. You know you got to tease them a little bit, exactly. Yeah, I'm not at all yeah, okay.
Speaker 3:So now let's talk about, like this infamous fight, this whole thing with candace, uh-huh okay so like I remember, like are we open to talk about it, even like there's no, okay, okay I have to go edit.
Speaker 2:I don't want that. Yeah, we added nothing on this show. No, no, this is a real tv like yes, let's do it.
Speaker 3:Nothing ahead of it, right? Okay, so that fight. I noticed from your end it was like they tried to plane it off, like it came from nowhere. But then you were like no, it did not not come from nowhere, it was built up. Can you talk? Please break that down.
Speaker 1:A can understand, yeah so there was, it was almost like. It was almost like there was two different reality shows happening, right, you had the one on camera and then you had the one off camera. So with that whole situation, it the fight did kind of happen out of nowhere. And even production, they were trying to figure out how can we give this fight reason? It just happens, you know, but there was nothing on camera that would build up to it, you know. So they would piece stuff from like weeks later and put it in the front, you know, just so that it can look like there was all this tension.
Speaker 1:Okay and there was no like tension. It was literally. That fight happened literally because her hand was in my face. Now, if you go back to when I first met her in season three, we were at ashley's um seasons are there there's a lot there's a a lot.
Speaker 3:It's still going on.
Speaker 1:Season three. I met her at Ashley's brunch. I said I really like this girl, candace. I said, but she keep talking with her hands. I might have to hit her back. I literally said that I had an issue with hands in my face because of childhood trauma that I didn't realize I had. I knew I had an issue with it but I didn't know why. So you take that instance, and I'm a high head, or at least I was, and I go from zero to 100 real quick. The jersey came out real fast, so so, basically, you know, the hand was in my face and I'm like your hand's in my face and she's like what you going to do. And I swirl her hair like what you gonna do. And I swirl her hair like what you, what you gonna do. Yeah, I'm popping her hair and next thing, you know, we, we, I'm smashing her head into a table and I'm just wait, you smash your head into a table yeah it's not funny, but yeah, it was pretty intense
Speaker 2:talking to you like early and I'm talking to you now. I can't. I'm so, I'm so sick.
Speaker 3:I'm like zero to a hundred, real quick let me add a disclaimer, because I feel like this is a part again where I say like America versus like Caribbean, or you know how we live here? Candace is a shit starter.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 3:She likes to post. I love her because I feel like she's a little gay boy with her reads yeah, no, she definitely has a gay best friend that she learns.
Speaker 1:these reads from oh well, she definitely can read and she definitely has the clapbacks and the wits. Yes, 100%. But she goes way too far, she takes it too far.
Speaker 3:And she can't take it, yeah.
Speaker 1:so what happens is with the cameras, people get camera courage. You know what? I'm saying so. It's like you're not going to talk that way if you were talking to somebody that you met in the bar. You're not going to talk that way to somebody that you're talking to in the street if cameras weren't around.
Speaker 3:You're only talking like this because there's an audience and there's cameras rolling and security to hold you back if anything happens.
Speaker 1:Exactly or so you think the security was there, but they didn't get there fast enough.
Speaker 2:I'm going to watch this unfold for five minutes, and then I'll jump in when I tell you it was so fast, it happened so quick, you know.
Speaker 1:But the thing was there was a lot of tension outside of filming that was going on behind the scenes, and then I had my own personal tension and stuff that was boiling over. And then this is a person who I, off camera, looked out for. Now, mind you, when she first came to the show, nobody liked her, nobody wanted to film with her. It got to a point where people forgot that she was actually brought on by Ashley.
Speaker 3:Exactly so. She was Ashley's friend.
Speaker 1:She was Ashley's friend Then she got put on me and I was like how I get stuck with her Like, so, Like a leech.
Speaker 2:You want to be a friend Right.
Speaker 1:And nobody on that show thought that she would survive another season they thought, like when we were, she just actually got fired. Yeah, yeah, so yeah, I kind of want to start watching this show. Oh my gosh, yeah, it's, it's, it's crazy, and it's it's crazy how how life works because she actually got fired. Meanwhile I quit and she kept telling people no, she got fired, she wanted me to get fired because she wanted the production to come somehow have her back.
Speaker 1:She wanted the production to somehow have her back. She wanted the network to be on her side, Like she fought me and she should get fired.
Speaker 3:But the network still wanted me and I felt like Giselle and Robin, they like definitely had her back way more, just so it could lead up to like, oh, production, get rid of her. Because I feel like, oh, of course Giselle, really she, she was not fucking with you at all, like she really wanted you gone.
Speaker 1:Yes, and she didn't. How much Giselle didn't like me is that she actually befriended Candace. Exactly In order to get me, you know, into a bad situation, they used Candace as ass.
Speaker 3:They were like Candace press charge. Do whatever you can to make this happen.
Speaker 1:They never liked her and they would say things to her. I remember when we were in France season three, which was her first season, and everybody on, even production everybody, was so annoyed with Candace because she acted like a little spoiled brat. She left her glasses.
Speaker 1:We're filming a show and we have time limits for when we are hitting these different spots in another country to film at. She left her glasses somewhere and they were just like she's like throwing a temper tantrum, like I have to go get, I have to get my glasses, and we're like we're filming, like what do you mean? Like no, let somebody else go get them. But it was like stuff like that that she would do, that people would get irritated with off camera and they were like what is going on? But I mean, when I tell you, most of the cast did not think that she was going to be there for the next season, but it was like they were stuck. They were stuck with her.
Speaker 3:Nah, I was shocked that she even stayed that long. But oh my God. And then it's the crying for me after. That's what I can't take, because I'm like, if you're going to be a bad bitch, be a bad bitch. Bitch, like, stand on your shit, right. So if you're going to be a bad, do your big one, yeah she should have got an endorsement with Kleenex. Like a bitch. She could have been rich. She always got a tissue, she always got a crumb.
Speaker 1:Yes, they should have had it where they folded them into perfect little corners.
Speaker 3:She gets those perfect little corners.
Speaker 1:Just to tap the eye. Yeah, she missed out on a bag with that one For sure. Yeah, and wig glue. She should have got an endorsement with the wig glue company Because because I'm going to tell you I was trying to snatch that wig off and that thing was not moving.
Speaker 3:I didn't even know it was not shifting.
Speaker 1:I mean when I tell you I had my hands tangled up in it and that thing, whatever glue she used I don't know if that was Gorilla Glue or what, but that thing was not moving at all.
Speaker 3:That thing did not go, it didn't.
Speaker 1:She was just there with the she missed out on two bags and.
Speaker 3:I love how, like at the reunion production, like the girls were like she didn't say that. And then they wrote the clip. They're like she said that she was like the glass was in your face. She was like Giselle was like she didn't do that.
Speaker 1:I had a busted lip Like the pressure from the glass hitting my lip. It actually my tooth ruptured the inside of my lip. I had to go to the dentist afterwards so they can check the stability of my tooth. I have a literally a doctor's note showing that there was a puncture to the side of the other. And this is how bad reality TV is, with the gaslighting and the manipulation. They're literally telling me that it didn't happen and I'm looking at my lip like I'm feeling like but it didn't happen.
Speaker 1:I crazy right now and I felt like I was going crazy and then they wouldn't let me see the video. I was like, well, show me the footage, no, we can't let you see that. The only reason I got to see the footage and I knew for sure that it happened how I said it happened is because she ended up pressing charges against me so I had the lawyer up. My lawyer ended up saying that we need to subpoena the clip, so that we can see what you know, so we can properly defend ourselves.
Speaker 1:That's the only reason that I was able to see the footage.
Speaker 2:Otherwise everybody's winning against yours.
Speaker 1:Listen, the network and the production company would have ran with whatever story they wanted to show. They wouldn't have had to show that part, they would have you know, and they could have kept the narrative as just like oh, she just lost it and that was it? Yeah, so it was a lot.
Speaker 2:So much shit just happened in front of me. I know right Ask away First of all, how many seasons are there as of right now?
Speaker 1:I don't even know For Potomac.
Speaker 3:I think now it's season nine, I'm not sure. Okay, nine or ten, maybe.
Speaker 1:I was there four seasons. I did season two, three, four and five and yeah, so yeah, I left. I quit right after the reunion air like glass are flying broken through yeah, this is really reality tv, or?
Speaker 3:it was bad, it was, it was, it was, it was good tv. I'm not gonna lie as a viewer. We're like very much like yeah, yeah this is the same show you're. It's very entertaining I'm not sure I watch a lot of them.
Speaker 2:Not a lot of them. We go to Curacao or some islands to do two podcasting too. Yeah, and I'm just setting up and I'm like bitch, I'm like what the fuck? And I'm like perv say that shit, say that shit. I'm like what are you doing? I'm just watching a, Because it could also be baddies or something else, I don't know.
Speaker 3:But the housewives definitely be getting it hard.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that was a crazy, crazy season.
Speaker 3:Okay, but let's talk about the reunion, because that was a whole nother, you had a whole receipt book.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's so funny because that turned into something that I honestly wasn't expecting it to turn into. People bring props all the time right, exactly.
Speaker 1:So my thing is I was supposed to be an attorney, so I went to school for law, right, so that was what I was supposed to be. But everything I do is like that of a lawyer, like, if you see my, the way I file my cabinets, all of that is I always use binders. That has always been my thing. Uh, since the beginning of time, I was an executive assistant, so I that's how I roll. I like things to be organized. You know, libra, we like things to be organized and in place. So what I got annoyed about was that there was so much fake news being put out there that I said, okay, y'all keep telling these lies about me. I'm going to tell the truth about you. I had receipts on every last one of them, including myself.
Speaker 3:Even yourself. Yeah, because I was like.
Speaker 1:I'm showing here's where I was. This is what I was doing. This is the reason why there was so much crazy rumors that were going on and I'm like, okay, let's cut the rumors, let's talk about what really actually happened. And I have one when I tell you them, chicks was shook because they knew. I'm like, if you, come after, after me. I'm going to tell the truth about you and you don't know what I have in this binder on all of you.
Speaker 2:So I'm not going to lie. I got something. I got a similar thing to a folder on a hard drive, like on people in a room like, oh, I see you at the mill, it's a nightclub, I mean like fuck around.
Speaker 3:That is messy, that is savage and an old job. Send to the department of health. There you go.
Speaker 2:I came up to me Facebook.
Speaker 3:Oh my God, you put something on Facebook.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Facebook is crazy.
Speaker 3:Everybody will fucking know what that is crazy. I never had to use it.
Speaker 2:It's just like you know, break glass in case of emergency. Yeah yeah, if you go out there and want to post something about me, don't worry, I got something about you too.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, that is hilarious. That's a lever. That's a lever. You have to protect yourself too, you know Right, we're going to keep our receipts I'll never use it until you twist my arm.
Speaker 2:All right, cool, let's go Listen.
Speaker 1:I will let you know. Reunion. My mindset was like I'm not coming to play with them, I'm not, I'm just going to come and just put it all out there on the table. I honestly thought they were going to fire me, so I was like, let me just get in my all yeah. It was just that, like that, that bam moment, Like, look I'm gonna just put it all was funny.
Speaker 1:When I started Housewives, I came to Aruba. They called me while I was here with my kids and my mom and my ex and they were like, hey, we really want y'all to film this first episode. Can y'all come this Friday? We're like, we're in Aruba, like what? And then I had to end up getting an early flight and we went back and if I hadn't done it, I would have never been on housewives.
Speaker 1:so it's like I had to go back so my mindset was I'm gonna finish how I started. So I said we're going to aruba the week before reunion. I said I'm gonna get nice and crispy on these hoes. I'm gonna be tan to the gods. Yes, I'm gonna get all of that upgrade my dna yep, I sure did. And then, um my, my Riley Knox made my gown custom made.
Speaker 3:You always had the best reunion looks, thank you, I'm going to give it to you. You always came slaying for the girls.
Speaker 1:Thank you, yep, I was ready. I was ready, I had my book, I had my parrot, we was ready to go. Aw T'Challa, I know, I know, I, I miss y'all.
Speaker 3:But no, giselle was not ready for you in this reunion at all, Because you came for her. You came for Pastor Jamal.
Speaker 1:Bryant. She's never ready for reunions, though you came for his dangling Listen, everybody else was too at the time. He's newly married now, so I'm going to leave him alone.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we'll leave him. We'll leave him. I'll be respectful he honestly, was collateral damage.
Speaker 1:You know he wanted to be on the show and support her and unfortunately that was the wrong move.
Speaker 3:Yeah, at the time cameron wasn't letting up at all either.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, she was riding because she was like well, the thing was you can't keep hiring boyfriends every season.
Speaker 1:You know you can't do that I feel like there was a little shade here you go it was a lot of shade but a lot of truth it's true, because she doesn't want to get now it's like every season you're hiring a new person to stand next to you so that you can look like you come on now, like just stop so and we're not going to sit here and act like we're going to buy into it. So it was like it was just one of those things where he was unfortunately collateral damage and just like my ex-husband was collateral damage for her.
Speaker 3:You know her coming after him and saying things about him, big boy, and all these things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah I feel like it gets too personal.
Speaker 3:It was. It was very personal.
Speaker 2:At the end of the day, it is a reality TV show. But fuck man, you're going to come up there with my ex or you come up to my mom. It's crazy, they don't hold back.
Speaker 3:Right, the unfortunate part. It's like the craziest shit that you can get out there. Get it out. Production will love you. Like that's more airtime for you. Yeah, because now you have to get like confessionals to talk about what you're doing.
Speaker 2:It's basically like you want to succeed in this business. Cool, be the like.
Speaker 1:Expose as much as you can about other people and we'll you got to put yourself out there.
Speaker 2:I could never do that show, although I expose myself all the time on this show.
Speaker 1:But you have control of it though.
Speaker 2:You're telling your truth and it's not being clipped. Yeah, I know exactly what I'm putting on. Oh fuck, I got to delete this part.
Speaker 1:We've said a few things in the past like whoop mute. Yeah, I'll be watching.
Speaker 2:I'll be like wait, but they don't put the rest of it, so everything's so out of context.
Speaker 3:You need to play with that narrative. Just follow this.
Speaker 2:That's what she said. Focus on this part.
Speaker 3:What is Andy like Sitting there? And then Is he a pot-stealer, is he very messy?
Speaker 1:Yeah, of course he's messy. I've never had any bad issues with Andy. We've never had any negative experiences together, so I can only speak on my own experience with him. Andy was cool. He was cool Especially at that reunion. They set me up. They set me up Like they really wanted me to be down and out, so they put me at the wrong hotel and I didn't know. So the only reason that I found out that I was at the wrong hotel is because Karen and I you know, we had a true friendship.
Speaker 1:And we wanted to see each other and hang out before the reunion. And so we get in town. She said, all right, text me your room number. So I send her my room number and she's like I'm at your room. She's calling. She's like why aren't you answering? I was like, oh, hold on, I go to the door. I'm like you're not at my door. She's like wait, what's your room number? I tell her the room number. She's like that's where I'm at. I was like she said Monique, what hotel are you at? And I said, girl, I'm at the Doubletree. She was like what? Bravo would never put us at the Doubletree.
Speaker 2:She so production did it on purpose, yeah production purposely had me at the wrong hotel.
Speaker 1:Now, mind you if I wouldn't have found out, because I wasn't supposed to, if I wouldn't have found out, they had this whole story that they were trying to put out there. Like me and my ex were too dangerous to be at the same hotel as the other girls, they had fake security on set at the reunion. It was like a whole story, right.
Speaker 2:This is why I can't believe this shit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was a whole setup it really was like they went the extra mile with this one. And imagine me waking up the next day at 5 am to be where we're supposed to be to get glam and stuff. Me and my whole glam team was at the wrong hotel and when they kept saying, come down to the second floor or whatever I'm thinking the second floor where I'm at nobody ever told me that I was at the wrong hotel. So I would have woke up. Nobody would have answered their phones, we wouldn't have known what to do, I would have been frazzled from it and it would have been a disaster.
Speaker 3:And by the time they texted you to tell you where the location is you're all fucking pissed off at that moment. So you're walking into the reunion, guns blazing.
Speaker 1:Just imagine now. Imagine now I'm going to be late to set. They weren't expecting me to be on time. They had a whole plan and I messed they planned up. I called production and I said y'all wrong for this. And oh no, they said that you couldn't bring the parrot. I'm on the whole. I'm on the other phone with the hotel. I said hey, I have an emotional support pet with me. Am I able to bring her? She's him, he's an African gray parrot.
Speaker 3:And they're like yeah, do you have a letter?
Speaker 1:I was like, yeah, I have a letter from my therapist that this is my emotional support pet. Yeah, you can bring them. I was like, oh okay, so what was that? Oh well, the rooms were sold out. Can I get three rooms because I need a room for me and my glam team? Sure, we'll book you the rooms. Now I'm like and what was that? So I'm like, okay, I paid for all hotel that night. And then, um, and then we were able to, you know, at least get.
Speaker 1:Here's the receipt they never reimbursed me. No, they never reimbursed me and um yeah, so I was able to do that and at least we were able to get there at enough time where we kind of like felt settled we got all the frustration out where we need to be and end up killing it.
Speaker 2:So man, that's nasty work.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was very nasty work. It was very nasty work. So, yeah, I mean, when I tell you it was like disrespect after disrespect after disrespect, you know, and it was just crazy I wonder why they hated.
Speaker 2:I mean, I don't want to use the word hate, but why did they dislike you so much?
Speaker 1:um, it's not that they dislike me, it's just because it's good tv you know it's like yeah yeah, they wanted another, they wanted another, so there was a housewife that actually went to jail before Teresa Giudice.
Speaker 3:I think, that's her name.
Speaker 2:She's from Jersey, from Jersey.
Speaker 1:Yeah, from Jersey.
Speaker 2:Hey, I'm going to a TV show, right.
Speaker 3:Three years later, teresa's one of the most iconic housewives, though yes, of all the franchises.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, she's out, she's been out. But the thing is, I feel like they wanted that again. It was like because they weren't even trying to step in when she pressed charges against me. Yeah, and I'm just like, in our contract it literally says that we can't press charges. We can't do stuff like that. Whatever happens on camera while we're filming is basically, you know, it's protected. You know Now, if her and I would have gotten into a fight outside of the cameras, outside of the work time?
Speaker 3:That's a different thing that's different you know.
Speaker 1:So I'm like why are y'all letting this go? Why are y'all letting this play out, when y'all know that this can't even hold up in court? Got me spending extra money for what you know, so yeah, it's just to like, get your rattle up, you know.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and the girls definitely played into it, especially like the season after that. It was more like oh, how are you keeping up, candace?
Speaker 1:And it was like I was long gone. I quit why are y'all still? I don't know if they're still talking now. She's off now.
Speaker 2:She's not on it, so they have other problems. Yeah.
Speaker 1:After I left, maybe one or two seasons. Even after that, they were still bringing up flashbacks from the fight. They were still bringing up my name and I'm like they're still using my house like the overhead scan of the homes and stuff. They were still using it and I'm like this is crazy. People would send me screenshots and they'd be like they're still using your house.
Speaker 2:I was like wow, you can do something about that. Like, hey, I'm going to like sue you, because in America you can sue anybody.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I guess they own the footage, so they just like we just going to keep using it.
Speaker 3:Got it. Yeah, it was crazy, okay. So we're done with these bitches now. Y'all, thank you. Shout out to all of y'all, um, so let's talk about your business. Okay, because you, you have the essential oils, you have the podcast.
Speaker 1:Well, you used to do the podcast, yeah which I feel like you're kind of getting back into yeah, I'm trying, I'm pivoting right now, but right now, my main uh, my main thing that I'm doing is meal eve essentials. I started this company during the quarantine.
Speaker 3:No way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, a lot of people. When they saw me on Housewives they were like, hey, you're always using essential oils, we want to use your oils. And I'm like, well, I don't have any of my own. And they're like you need to get your own line. So during the quarantine I had extra time. So I was like, all right, let me look into the business and see what I can do. And honestly, I had already been looking into it from when we went to France, season three, because we actually toured an essential oils company there and I wanted to. We were trying to actually do some business together after we left. So so that didn't work out. So this time around I said I have the time and I started Middle Eve Essentials. I started out with, just like some of your basic essential essential oils and then I have a lot of blends that, just like you know, if you like lavender, you'll love sleep tight, like it's like different mixes in there.
Speaker 2:That really here you go. For sure, dabs a little bit, yeah, yeah, even more, yep, so I sell diffusers and yep, diffusers, bath salts, um.
Speaker 1:And then I have the skincare line that I launched, uh, last year, so that's been doing really well. So we have this one product called the Flawless Glow Toner. It's actually something that I make myself and I created the recipe. It took me a few months and then I put that out because people were like we want some skincare and I said, well, let me put this out and y'all can have this until I get the rest together. And that became like the best seller and hasn't slowed down since.
Speaker 1:No, fucking way it's so good for like eczema, psoriasis, like even after the sun I have it when we go home from the beach after the kids get their baths and stuff that helps your skin recover faster. It has all these different essential oils and rice water fermented rice water in it Rice water Once it has rice water.
Speaker 3:You know it's good shit.
Speaker 1:Yep, and you know how rice water typically smells awful when you ferment it. So I infuse it with essential oils and I created this recipe where it smells amazing. So it's like you don't get that rice water smell, but you get the benefits, yeah, and then you get the essential oils on top of it Damn, and that helps your skin glow as well. Oh, yeah, you don't see the oiliness.
Speaker 1:but Yep, you can spray it. When I sell it I give you like a little spray pump bottle. You can keep that in like keep that with you and reapply like you would rose water, you know. So you rehydrate throughout the day. So, yeah, so the skincare products are doing really well. My kids use them. They're good for all kinds of skin. Combination gentle, I think.
Speaker 2:next, time when you come down to Aruba, you got to bring some for him, some for me, some for Ginger I. I will, I will.
Speaker 3:What also like, since we're talking about the business and maybe, like I always say this, to like Rihanna and stuff like that, but can y'all make like a product for like black men with like ingrowns and all that good shit?
Speaker 1:I do, yeah. So my, I have a flawless, a flawless exfoliator and my exfoliator. What I love about it? Is most exfoliators they like break your skin down, like it scratches it. So my exfoliator it's made with this ingredient that it just buffs your skin so it's not super abrasive, but it does clean off the dead skin cells, opens up the hair follicles so you don't get the ingrown hairs, it's for your top of the head.
Speaker 2:Yeah, even yesterday. I don't probably right now.
Speaker 1:It's crazy because I just was literally DMing somebody this morning. They messaged me asking what can they use for razor bumps and I'm like the exfoliator, so you exfoliate before you shave and then you shave and then the next day you exfoliate again but also what you can do after you shave use tea tree. He's my bald head.
Speaker 2:Yeah so same.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you use. So I have tea tree essential oil. I actually have a kit called Common Sense and it has essential oils for men and tea tree is one of the oils in there and I give you different recipes that you can make. It's like an aftershave serum that you can create with the tea tree and use it after and that will help you to prevent the ingrown hairs and the razor bumps.
Speaker 3:I don't trust shaving, so I only use hair remover cream so I have to apply it and just wipe it off. Yeah, yeah, I get a nasty breakout.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, yeah, I don't even try that shit.
Speaker 3:I did waxing, everything, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so yeah, the exfoliator is really good. I have a lot of male clients that will buy my.
Speaker 3:I'm checking that out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they buy my exfoliator and my face wash, because you can. You can use the face wash. It's the charcoal face wash. You can use it as a body wash too. So I have a lot of my guy clients that use that. They'll use exfoliator and then they'll use like the moisturizer or the glow serum.
Speaker 2:Yeah, damn, is this, I'm assuming.
Speaker 1:Yep, it's shop MilaEvecom. Is it in your bio Um on?
Speaker 3:yeah, on.
Speaker 1:Instagram. Yeah, mila in my LA, damn, yeah, yeah. So all of the products are for, they're for everybody, you know.
Speaker 3:So that's what I love about essential oils. What's your top top four favorite products?
Speaker 1:oh, my goodness. Well, products are just oils. I'm like, because my products, my skincare products, are so good I love, I want give me two each. Okay, so my, I'll give you my top seller, so my top selling. Uh, for essential oils, I have a blend called Breathe Easy and it's really good for people who have asthma or bronchitis or just congestion, or if you need better sleep. Yeah, so you put it on your neck and your chest before you go to sleep. You can reapply as often as you need it, but it really opens you up and it helps you sleep better because it takes the inflammation out of your airways. So that one's really good. You can put it on you topically All of my oils you can use topically or you can put them in your diffuser and then sleep tight, because people need to breathe and they need to sleep.
Speaker 3:Exactly so those are like my best sellers yeah.
Speaker 2:Damn, I mean those little fucking what's it called Breathe? You need some strips I also have.
Speaker 1:I have a friend that has a deviated septum. Sinus relief I have a blend called sinus relief. Oh God I have a bowl for everything, my scalp is taken care of my sinus is taken care of, I do. I'm on your side right now. If you get sinus relief, you want to dilute it with something because it is really strong. But when I tell you it opens you up, it opens you up.
Speaker 2:You have to give us a heads up Like. It seems like you make random trips to Aruba sometimes.
Speaker 3:I know I bring you some stuff. Hey, I'm coming down. What do you need? I'm like okay add to cart.
Speaker 1:add to cart. Add to cart. Right, right, and I ship worldwide too.
Speaker 2:So yes, and we don't ship anything to Aruba because shipping here is expensive. Yeah, it's nasty. Oh, really, yeah, I ended up actually costing me 100 bucks. I ended up paying, uh, like 70, if not almost 80 dollars just to get it out of custom so I can use it oh my gosh whenever you ship down to. If this baller costs two florins and it costs about 150 just to receive it, so I end up paying like 350 wow.
Speaker 1:So I just need to do a pop-up here. I'll just bring some inventory and do a pop-up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let us know we'll have to do that and we're paying for we're not. We don't want it for free yeah, for sure, for sure.
Speaker 3:Thank you, yeah, no, I have, I have literally an oil for everything.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's really really good and it really works and it's nice because it helps your body to just kind of repair itself, you know and even I love the fact that you can also put it in a diffuser and you just have that on in your room and just smells good, the aroma's nice keep that going and then it's clean in the air at the same time. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I want that. I've bought many diffusers in the past. I just ended up not figuring out how to work with it, just toss it to the side.
Speaker 1:Really, I just buy a new one and maybe try this easier and you can use my oils. You get the oils, just add it in. I even went to the parts.
Speaker 2:like you put the oil, little thing and then you put a candle underneath Like bro, I've tried everything.
Speaker 3:I just gave up Like fuck this, Sam. I'm sorry, that's laziness. It's not laziness, it's like okay yeah, it is laziness. That's 100% laziness, Like I just take it Good job okay.
Speaker 1:So I want to switch things up a little bit. How has motherhood changed your life? For you, oh man, motherhood is life like it, literally it. It changed me in so many ways. I feel like that was my very first awakening is becoming a mom, and it's just funny. It's like you're carrying this life and then you get to the hospital. Now you have human, and then the hospital lets you leave with it. You're trying to do this? Are you sure it's mine? Am I ready for this? Oh my goodness, I love being a mom.
Speaker 2:I really do how old were you when you got?
Speaker 1:your first kid. So I got my ages mixed up, because I said on the interview that I was 29 when I got married, but I was actually 28. So I got married at 28. I was pregnant and then I had my son when I was 29. Yeah, so I was 29 when I had my first son and he was an amazing pregnancy, amazing labor and delivery. He's an amazing kid he really is. All three of them are but he paved the way literally. But motherhood is just something that I never thought that I would enjoy as much as I do. And my children there. I just talk to them like they're people, like we have beautiful conversations, we like to go deep, they're my tribe, like I love them so much they crack me up and it's no judgment.
Speaker 1:No, and it's funny too, because whenever we're like, when we're together, it's like who's the mom, you know? But if they get out of line, they have enough respect where I'm like no you need to stop, you know. But I love to just like learn from them, they learn from me. It's like a given exchange.
Speaker 3:You're both growing up in the world. Either which way, exactly, you're still somebody's daughter.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so you're growing up, learning about life, life and about yourself and then they're learning with you now, because yeah and they teach me because they still have the innocence, they still have the imagination. They haven't been touched by society in the world and it's like their ideas are truly theirs. So they keep me honest. They really do like I don't lie to them. I keep it very up front. Even when I was going through the divorce process I've made it very clear like this was mommy's decision. You know, daddy didn't want to get the divorce, but this is what I feel, as though it's best for me.
Speaker 2:What about the show Like? Did that show like? The whole narrative?
Speaker 3:Yeah, how did that affect?
Speaker 2:them. Yeah, did that affect the kids?
Speaker 1:So it did. Well, they tried, but yeah they have no limits, nothing is like up top. They didn't like it. They would ask me well, mommy, why don't they just show you for who you truly are, cause you're such a nice mommy?
Speaker 2:you know, and I'm like right, right, Well they deserved it.
Speaker 1:It's so crazy Self-defense. But no, I um, my, my kids are very. They show grace, they understand. I'm not afraid to admit when I'm wrong. You know, I even asked them like, if I ever do anything that you feel like upset about, you know, you tell me and they tell me they will let me know about myself and I let them speak and I never invalidate their feelings. You know they're funny because I could literally spend day in, day out with them and then they might say, mommy, I just feel like you don't love me, like you used to my youngest told me that I was like pause, like wait, what are you talking about?
Speaker 1:but no, when they make these comments, when they have these feelings, it's coming from somewhere, whether they're able to fully express it correctly, or however they express it, I let them speak and I say, okay, well, let's, let's talk through this and let's see how we can. You know how I can improve what can I do more of?
Speaker 3:or I was about to say that's actually a really great thing, because this day and age there's so many tablet kids, yeah, that the fact that your kids are actually saying like, hey, we want to actually spend time with you, the physical, person.
Speaker 1:They're in the presence. Yeah, they fight over who gets to sit next to me when we go out to eat every single time, every single time they can express themselves.
Speaker 2:You see, they're very in touch with their emotional side which in me and my family. Yeah, I was like bro. I barely expressed myself like it's just how I was brought up right, right, yeah, but this is really good.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, it's really important, because a lot of times when they bottle things up children, I feel like they're way more in touch with energy than we are, you know. So that's why if they say like, if you have a child and they don't want to hug somebody, don't force them to, because there's something that they feel that makes them feel unsafe and they don't want to. So, just so I trust their, their feelings, you know. So if they ever you know, I never want to invalidate it I always want them to express it.
Speaker 3:So I always try to encourage it so they do it more, you know, and do you feel like there's a certain mentality that you have to have becoming a parent? Or do you feel like because I feel like a lot of people are like, no, like you have to be ready, even though I feel like you'll never be ready, but then there's also some people it's like figure yourself out discover yourself.
Speaker 1:I feel like it can work both ways. I wish that I was more tapped in when it comes to self-love before I had children, because I was preaching self-love to them but I wasn't really showing it to myself. The way that they saw me nonstop, always doing everything, you know, that creates a template for them and they think that that's how they have to operate. I'm correcting behavior in them that I know they adopted from me.
Speaker 1:Even now, you know, like my daughter, when she gets a little snappy mouth and for no reason like she'll yell at her brother like Chase, I said stop it and I'm like, did you have to say it like that? But I know she gets it from me because that's how I was, you know. So I and I even tell her that I'm like I know you learned this because you watched mommy do it for a long time. So as I correct myself, I'm going to help you correct yourself too. So I keep it very just, like just make them aware, you know. But I feel like it doesn't matter how much you know yourself. You're never ready to have kids. It's like it's just something that happens and then you flow into it and hopefully they make you better.
Speaker 2:I don't have any kids, but I was about to say like hey, no, everyone's now on me, so when? You're gonna have kids. I'm like fuck, no wait because we're building a house.
Speaker 3:Take your time, we're building a house. She's 28 too yeah.
Speaker 2:So like people are like, oh, but you're never ready, which is fine, but if you can have still control as to when you want to come, right of course.
Speaker 1:I got another business.
Speaker 2:I'm like, if their kids come in our lives right now, it's going to be too much of a toll on us. Yeah, and we're going to have you want to be present, you want to be able to be present that's why it goes back to me being a workaholic, because I know this kid's going to be here anywhere between I was going to say now but not now, a year from now and two years from then and that time gap that time frame.
Speaker 2:So like I want to make sure that a year from now, I need to really prep myself, make sure it's fully running on its own the house is fully, fully, fully done. If the shit hits the fan, I lose everything. If I have a good house, I can just move in back with my fucking parents and then rent the house out for a year, build capital back and then all right.
Speaker 1:You got a plan. That's the idea kids coming, just like fucking chill people, People will rush you when you're dating, when you're getting engaged, when you're getting married.
Speaker 2:I met her grandparents first question when are y'all gonna?
Speaker 1:get married. I'm like yo what Y'all just started dating. Give me a break. I don't know about that.
Speaker 2:Right, right, I met her day two.
Speaker 1:Let's go I met her in a bar when I used to work at. That's how.
Speaker 3:I met her yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh wow, not that easy. We'll see about that Listen. You're like it might not be easy, but I'm pretty good and, like the first day she was tired, I just flew in the next day.
Speaker 3:Let's go Jokes on me. Sometimes I was like a weak fling.
Speaker 2:Here I am four years together married married, married married married hold on get a piece of paper wrap it real quick no, that's beautiful yeah no.
Speaker 3:I say ignore the noise because let me tell you then after you after you have that baby, when you having another one.
Speaker 1:It's always something with people.
Speaker 2:I look at people that had kids at a young age, and they all tell me this my sister had a kid when she was 18. Wow, so like, obviously it wasn't planned. Yeah, yeah, it's like she even tells like whatever dreams you have, put it on the shelf because you ain't gonna do anything with that dream until your kids you know, because you gotta feed the kid, you gotta do things for the kid, so that's right for me.
Speaker 2:I push it up for as long as I can until I feel I have that stability. Yeah, so when the kid comes around like all right, the money's coming in, I got some time freedom, I can do whatever I want. I'm running the right one, but I can't pick and choose what I want. Oh, you got a soccer game.
Speaker 1:Fuck it, let's go yeah, yeah, I can just leave my work you know, yeah, yeah, no, I feel you. But one thing about kids look, when you have kids, you they, they, you welcome them into your life, you know. So, like I never slowed down on anything I wanted to do after having children, like we still travel you're gonna have kids?
Speaker 3:no, I am. I love being an auntie, just like all of my nephews and nieces yeah, I'm definitely the cool aunt. I just I just got promoted and then my nephew.
Speaker 2:Like you're the favorite uncle oh, you know like I bought all the games they want on the playstations and they come over and play FIFA.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't care, I'm still number one.
Speaker 3:I don't care how I got there, robux they be, driving me crazy Always wanting the money, but yeah, it's crazy.
Speaker 2:It's crazy. I'm going to be like I'm broke. I'm going to make sure they know I'm broke from growing.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, I think we can wrap it up Because you're on vacation. I don't want to.
Speaker 1:Yeah, of course, oh no this is fun and thank God my mom was here. She was like, yeah, I can hold the kids down while you go. I'm like cool, this was fun. I really appreciate it.
Speaker 2:She was telling me like I'm like, hey, are your kids coming Because I'm driving my wife.
Speaker 1:Just meet them at the beach, or? Yeah, awesome, their favorite place. Yes, that's all they want to do.
Speaker 2:I want to say thank you for coming on the show. Yes, thank you for coming on your vacation to come on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 3:Try the ginger actually Ginger got to go for that, for sure. Yes, yes, he really did. Honestly, we hear things like oh way, you want to?
Speaker 2:go in like not knowing anything yes, no, that's always the best the vibe here was good.
Speaker 3:I told you, I know my reality shows. I'm good on personalities, that's one thing. I'm not a bullshitter, so I can see through the fake shit and you know who's real and who's not. So it's like Monique is good people thank you.
Speaker 1:When do you? Think you'll be back in aruba, um if you have? I don't know I gotta just yeah it just happens yeah, it does it. I literally planned this trip, like what, a week and a half before we got here and that's kind of like how I move with the kids.
Speaker 1:I'm like I feel like going to a beach. You're like, mom, we're gonna go to the beach too. I I'm like, all right, where we going, listen, I'll be ready to be out, yeah. So yeah, it just depends. I'll check the weather and be like, ooh, the weather looks good here, let's go there. That's kind of how we move. I love it.
Speaker 2:And it's just most times, it's just me and my babies Like, or your goal for 2025?
Speaker 1:Oh, so I'm writing a book.
Speaker 2:I've been writing a book for two years.
Speaker 1:Now I'm at 40,000 words. It's a book on just a spiritual journey and I've been just documenting just what I feel Like some days where you have really tough days, or some days where you're extremely happy and you can feel this transformative energy happening. And it's like sometimes you feel like, is this normal? Am I crazy? Are other people experiencing this when they go through these life changes? So I literally I journaled all of it and then it became a book. I turned it into a book. It has seven chapters. It's amazing. The book is called Love Letters from Versions of Myself.
Speaker 1:And yeah, I would literally write myself love letters, like because I feel like it's a lost art. I feel like a lot of times when we write a love letter is to someone else and, honestly, the first letter I wrote was to my ex. It was when I knew I was done and I said I needed to get everything out of my head onto some paper. I never intended to give it to him and still won't, but I wanted to write down what I felt in these different moments about the marriage, about myself, about him as a person. So that was my first letter was to him. Then I said you know what? I'm going to start writing myself letters. So I would just write myself letters encouraging myself when I'm in these low moments or in these difficult positions. And then it would be crazy because maybe a few months later I'm reading one of the letters I wrote and it was exactly what I needed to read at that moment.
Speaker 1:So I was like, okay, there's something to this. So I just kept doing it and I include the love letters into the book. So every book starts off with one of my actual love letters. That.
Speaker 2:I wrote and then I give you a chapter. I've seen the first letter already. No, or or the first time being looking like what the fuck like?
Speaker 1:it'll probably be like that, but now here's a copy before he goes out, right no, I'm not including a letter I wrote to him in there.
Speaker 3:So when are you planning to publish the book?
Speaker 1:um. So right now I'm actually um shopping the book around because I wasn't thinking I was thinking about going the self-publishing route. Then I was like you know what, if I get a literary agent, I I can just like it can be done in a way more professional way, the right way. Yeah, and to make it easier on me, a lot of people will be able to you know, know that it exists.
Speaker 3:A bigger reach.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so, yeah, so that's where.
Speaker 3:I'm at right now we. That sounds like a really good beach read and if you know Aruba, you know, oh yes, beaches is the perfect place to read. Exactly that's where you reach every morning, every morning, it's incredible.
Speaker 1:I love it. But yeah, so the book is like it's really life changing. I give pieces of me that just enough to show you. This is why I had this transformative moment, you know. So, as I write it, I'm a very creative writer, so the way I write the book it almost feels like you're reading a fiction novel. But you know it's, it's true.
Speaker 2:You know it's real.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's real. And then I give you a little bit of just like the reality TV and how it was a toxic gift that turned into a toxic curse, that turned into a beautiful gift. You know, and I go deeper into just like my childhood, childhood, some of my upbringing, so that you get a better picture of, like, who I am, and why I'm the way I am. Yeah, yeah, so you know, it's really good like I'm really excited, for sure, yes, I also asked when you're gonna be coming down to aruba.
Speaker 2:It's like if you ever come, now you want to do that the whole. Like you know, shark mansion pop-up shop. He has a shop, it's the nicholas. Oh, he has his own clothing brand and clothing store.
Speaker 1:Okay, we should schedule that.
Speaker 2:Let's just schedule something For sure.
Speaker 1:I'll just put the, I'll put my, because that's the beautiful thing about oils it's not a lot.
Speaker 3:So I can put it in a suitcase.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I can pack it and bring it.
Speaker 1:Promote right what man I gotta go to aruba by the beach.
Speaker 2:Oh my god, oh my god, worst place to work? No, oh my god, y'all listen mo.
Speaker 3:Thank you, so so so much for your time, your energy like very, very beautiful thank you. It's crazy, I can't believe how much, how real and yourself you are, you know. So we really, really appreciate you taking time out from your family, from your vacation, to be here with us. Please this before we close out. Just look at the camera, plug yourself let people know where they can find you and all your business, everything.
Speaker 1:You can find everything you need to know about me at moniquesamuelscom, or you can shop Mila Eve at shopmilaecom. That's me M I L? A. So for people that Mila Eve shop Mila Evecom and then on Instagram at Monique Samuels.
Speaker 2:So yeah, and everything she just mentioned will be in the description down below, so you can just if you're lazy to go type just click, one click there, it'll take you to wherever she needs you to go oh my goodness, I almost forgot one more thing I have a YouTube channel.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 1:It's called Tea with Monique and I do a series. It's called the Self Challenge Series. So people always ask me like, oh, I see you glowing and you're healing, but how? So I actually do a challenge where I'm giving you a breakdown of different things that I've done in my journey so that I can become better?
Speaker 3:And we do weekly lives on Wednesdays at 8 pm Eastern.
Speaker 2:Time. There you go, nice, nice. Well, guys, hope you enjoyed this episode. Make sure to subscribe, leave a comment and we will see you next week. So peace, bye.