Welcome to Monster Monster, a real-play Dungeons Dragons show with comedians as characters. I am your Dungeon Master, Cavan Eggleston, joined today by Hi, I'm Tyson Cox.
Speaker 2:I'm also a comedian and I'm playing Chester Blackfield, a punchy mustached man. Is this a good rhythm? No.
Speaker 1:It's like very NPR pledge drive. I feel like you're going to tell us about a tote bag we can get if we just donate.
Speaker 2:Well, if you do donate a few dollars, all right. And our other comedian? We do not have time for this.
Speaker 3:And my name is Tyler Waltz. I will be playing Ekrem, the shadow sorcerer. That understands that some that I had that one good quote the first time and we're just going to leave it at that. I'm a dark, shadowy boy. See previous episodes for character backstories.
Speaker 1:Alright. When we last left our intrepid adventurers, you guys had just been betrayed by the right hand woman of the time.
Speaker 3:dragon, the half-orc Kaka Bloodaxe axe left you an ultimatum join her in ending existence or die well, canonically, we've had such good luck well, we kind of gave like a little wink to each other and we're playing along if I remember correctly how that last one ended, so yeah I mean because, like I was saying, canonically we've been.
Speaker 2:She's never had to save one of us specifically like three or four times no, she's never proven that she's hyper competent at violence and mayhem
Speaker 1:no, we got this alright, so you folks are on the fifth floor of the Time Dragon, the Lore Worms manor house. No, we've got that settled. She reaches behind her to one of the cultists, pulling a case from his arms you are going to need these and she hands you the case opened in front of you, and you see two daggers. The pommels of each of them are a dragon screaming in agony.
Speaker 2:Neat In my head. I just think Teston, teston, is this Ekrem in here, bud? Teston, check, check, yeah, what you need, bud, oh shit.
Speaker 3:Well, first of, all.
Speaker 2:Hey, thanks for actually talking to me. That's pretty nice. I think the first time you've ever done that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, shit's pretty dire.
Speaker 2:I'm just checking in on you. Does this dragon seem like it's screaming in agony? It seems like it. Oh, that's not a good sign.
Speaker 3:We like dragons? Right, we do. But I think we should go ahead and take the dagger, because I mean, I like daggers. I do think they're kind of cool.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, it's beside the point, I don't really dagger. Much Can he get?
Speaker 1:I mean he can have mine, take it.
Speaker 2:Chester, all right, sure, what do they do when Chester takes the dagger?
Speaker 1:Yeah, the metal feels colder than anything you've ever felt. Just waves of necrotic energy kind of radiate from this blade and you realize it's designed to kill, specifically kill, dragons. But even then the strength of the magic and it makes you feel like a little nauseous. You feel a little bit like, oh, this could kill. This is meant to kill a dragon, but this could end me very easily.
Speaker 2:Well, is there a sheath in here as well?
Speaker 3:I pull out my notebook. Also can kill Chester's.
Speaker 2:Dragons, check Chester's question mark.
Speaker 1:What are the chances it doesn't kill one of them? She goes? No, but I know someplace you can bury it.
Speaker 2:Like safely, so I don't wound myself. Sure bud, that's great. Where is that?
Speaker 1:And the lore warms back Ekron.
Speaker 3:Oh.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'll take one, okay.
Speaker 2:No hesitance, you know, he's just like okay, you grab it.
Speaker 1:The same cold malice radiates from this. You can again get the feeling.
Speaker 3:Weapons aren't evil, people are evil, and I take the dagger.
Speaker 1:She goes no, no, this weapon definitely evil. Yeah, they say that, but then they made these.
Speaker 2:It's like the brooms in that one animated short starring that Mickey Mouse.
Speaker 3:I think that's past me bud.
Speaker 2:Son of a bitch, I'm old.
Speaker 1:Okay, Fantasia really.
Speaker 2:Really.
Speaker 1:I don't know which one of you I'm more disappointed in it's fine. I watched.
Speaker 3:Godzilla growing up?
Speaker 2:Yes, oh yeah, yeah, he gets sworn by sentient brooms.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you guys take these daggers and she leads you back down and she goes we'll make the distraction, you boys make the kill. And she kind of just pops her neck a little bit menacingly, takes that axe in her hand Again. That you, just that thing is just. What's surprising is it's massive, but it's also not ornamental Like she. This is just a tool to her and with that she signals for the cultists to burst into the room. To the lore worm Immediately assumed across the threshold. You see them just vaporize instantly as spells of warding go up.
Speaker 2:Oh, hell yeah.
Speaker 1:And she just Cause violence.
Speaker 2:Kaga Cause the. I'm just excited because the violence, not because, like our dude, died.
Speaker 3:You hear in your head hey, shut the fuck up, it's like Go ahead and make a deception check.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like we're so close Against her percent, like this isn't going to be fair.
Speaker 3:Can I help?
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, sure, okay, I'll help him. Be, like hey, he's just really nervous.
Speaker 3:You know, like we've worked together, you should know him All right.
Speaker 1:I just think you're real pretty. Go ahead and make an athletics check. Athletics, oh no, to tell a girl, she's pretty.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he tells them with a peck pop. Is that why I'm?
Speaker 2:not successful. Four plus seven 11. Four plus seven eleven, she grabs you and just snarls in your face, and then hurls you into the room.
Speaker 1:Hope this doesn't hurt uh falling in love that is kaga you make it through the wards. Uh, in front of you is the the lore worm kind of her. Back is to you all. She's managing the defenses. She's this will hold them for a while, but they will break through eventually. What do you have planned, Chester? Where's Ekrem? Ekrem is, and.
Speaker 3:I turn around and I go wait. Oh, am I part of the distraction?
Speaker 2:No, no, you're back in the ward. I'm like Ekrem. No, she just threw him through the, did you? No, you're back in the ward. I'm like.
Speaker 1:Ekram? No, she just threw him through the. Oh okay, Did you just like? You know what?
Speaker 3:I see where this is going to go. I'm just going to move myself in. I just kind of assumed that.
Speaker 2:I would follow. Oh, ekram, you're looking for Ekram. Ekram was actually just right behind me. Let me turn around and address him.
Speaker 3:Ekram, how are you doing back? What the fuck do I do? I got to fight Kaga, but I don't. Oh beans and dip.
Speaker 2:So we are staying loyal to the to the dragon. Yes, I will use.
Speaker 3:Well, I'm thinking this through as we plan because I don't want. Ok, hear me out. Oh, this is Tyler, not correct. This is Tyler, ok, sorry.
Speaker 2:Ekrem.
Speaker 3:Or I guess it is Ekrem's internal monologue. It's like okay, so we're not betraying, but we also want them to think that they're getting the jump on the Lord dragon. So I will use message to message the dragon and say basically as brief of a summary of like they just gave us daggers. Kaga is going to be in here soon and she has betrayed you. And then I'll like flash the dagger, like slide a hand, if that'll work, okay, and then be like shit's going to go down.
Speaker 2:But we have your back thank you for telling me all of this. Now go ahead and do it.
Speaker 3:Agro, I was talking yeah, she wasn't messaging you. Yeah, you're like I can hear these thoughts.
Speaker 1:Why are you doing this?
Speaker 3:do I need to do the slide a hand for the dagger?
Speaker 1:um, so basically what's happening is she's got almost like a wall of uh or prismatic wall in front of uh. You guys, you have the password so you can move through it because she trusted you or trusts you. Um, in theory, kaga can move through it too, until we find otherwise. Um, but you can send that message. Yeah, uh, kaga can see you.
Speaker 1:So if you're trying to be subtle with this like, think of it like that scene in episode one where Obi-Wan Kenobi's like on the other side of that wall. So you want to go ahead and do that slight hand yes, and that is a seven. So let's see against her perception.
Speaker 3:Not great.
Speaker 1:You just hear from the other side of the wall.
Speaker 3:You, but I had inspiration from a couple sessions ago. Are you going to use it? I was lying about that.
Speaker 1:But now that you've confirmed it, I will.
Speaker 3:See what you got bud, oh shit, all right, send it. I did a real life deception check.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's a 14 with my bonuses.
Speaker 3:But I got double inspiration From that time. I saved that orphan.
Speaker 2:I got you a meat stick that you bought us.
Speaker 3:Yeah from Hitler. Remember when I did that big hero moment. You saved an orphan from Hitler, I did. You saved a meat stick that you bought us. Yeah from Hitler. Remember when I did that big hero moment.
Speaker 1:You saved an orphan from Hitler. I did. You saved a meat stick from Hitler. Yeah, I was like, oh, I'm going to eat this Slim Jim.
Speaker 3:Whatever gets me that other role Okay.
Speaker 1:You dumb, dumb bastards.
Speaker 3:I messaged Chester. Still pretend to be on her side you're gonna stab acro?
Speaker 1:no uh the loreworms, like this was always a possibility. Well, there's no accounting for her choices.
Speaker 3:Very calm about this I appreciate that about you.
Speaker 1:You see a lot when you're the embodiment of time. I thought I was going to be a lot more subtle, so I'm very embarrassed.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, you see her.
Speaker 1:She is just slamming this axe. You see cracks starting to form in this wall of, as if almost just her rage. We should handle that. And strength can break this down.
Speaker 2:Once she starts swinging it, I'd like to go ahead and spear tackle her Like run toward the barrier.
Speaker 1:You're going to run out of the barrier?
Speaker 2:Yeah Well if she's swinging it at the barrier. I'm inside of it. It feels like the problem is outside the barrier.
Speaker 1:Okay, go ahead and let's do an opposed athletics check.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:I'll let you do that before we do initiative 16 total. All right, she got an 18. So go ahead and describe it to me here.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was just kind of hoping to catch her because she hits it, swings it back up, trying to break down the barrier with her axe On the backswing. I'd like to actually come and catch her, because that's just a straight up, very open pose.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, you know what, since you described it that way, go ahead and have advantage on that.
Speaker 2:Okay, all right, I have a pretty good athletic, so let's hopefully it's above it. No, it's worse.
Speaker 1:Okay, Uh, so you go and do this spear tackle, Uh, you wrap your arms around her and you, for a second, begin to just drive her back away from this wall and uh can I seize that opportunity to use my staff of power to create a wall of force where she was hitting it? To like bolster that wall yeah.
Speaker 1:You know that's not how. That's fun though I'm going to say go ahead and make an Arcana check. If you beat a 15, you're going to reinforce that wall where it's been starting, that prismatic wall where it's been cracked.
Speaker 3:Is it Arcana? Yeah, fucking 15 on the dice.
Speaker 1:Doesn't even matter what my bonus is. So immediately, chester is now on one side of it. You have sealed off effectively that cracks that were forming. You see again these cultists just throwing themselves against it, just trying to break through Just through sheer numbers. The lore dragon or the lore worm behind you is well, chester certainly is impetuous. Let's see what we can do to help with that. Ekrem, do you by chance have any means of reaching Chester through there? Can you get to him? Chester through there? Can you get to?
Speaker 3:him Out of character? Would I know what could and could not pass through?
Speaker 1:So, right now, anything that you do, she will allow to pass through. Oh yeah, if you have a mage hand or something she'll be able to pass it through, yeah, so you want me on the other side with you want me physically, you can stay here, okay cool and that's great.
Speaker 3:I'm much better here Now that I think about it.
Speaker 1:I think he'll be fine and then she casts Fly on you so you can now fly, and she also says give this to our boy, it should level the playing field a little bit. And she throws you a potion, and it's going to be a potion of cloud giant strength, nice, oh, what the fuck. So, uh, let's go ahead and roll some initiative here. Oh, fucking kaga, wow, okay. So apparently okay, she does have advantage on initiative rolls.
Speaker 3:Never mind, you guys are back to being screwed, all right.
Speaker 2:I got a 22.
Speaker 1:17? Okay, so 17, 22.
Speaker 2:Also 17.
Speaker 1:Also 17. All right, and then the cultists are going to go on initiative count. Okay, those will go at the very end.
Speaker 3:All right.
Speaker 1:Ekrem, what would you like to do?
Speaker 3:Well, I will fly up to the top of the dome and then throwing Chester the potion would be an action.
Speaker 1:I would say that we'll make that. That'll be a free action, it's just kind of a toss.
Speaker 3:Okay, is Chester in a position to catch it?
Speaker 1:He'll have to make a athletics or an acrobatics check to catch.
Speaker 3:Are you feeling frosty? Yep, okay, I will chuck it.
Speaker 2:All right, give me a heads up or anything. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, just bink.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Off my body. Oh fuck, I didn't tell him. I was like, oh, that was the only one.
Speaker 2:Nat 20.
Speaker 3:Okay, he catches it with his mouth. Yeah, 31.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 1:Five giant strength.
Speaker 2:Oh no, hang on. I did that with the ticket, so it would be plus seven. It's a Nat 20. Yeah, 27.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, 27. Fantastic, I'm going to even say, just with that, 20, you're going to drink it in your turn, so you'll be able to have the potion. You won't even have to try to take it Nice.
Speaker 3:It looks like when somebody wins a race, just yeah. No, he just got Gatoraded.
Speaker 1:Yeah, your already impressive physique just swells more. You get all veiny vascular as book.
Speaker 2:Oh no, it's a potion of dehydration.
Speaker 3:And then I'm assuming we haven't had any sort of rest or anything in between? No, you won. We haven't had any sort of rest or anything in between? No, I will use all but the last point of my staff of power to cast Fireball from the staff in the biggest cluster of cultists I see. Okay, that doesn't include Chester.
Speaker 2:That would be so funny, unless.
Speaker 3:I hit like I think Chester's worth like four cultists, so if I can get four, more, you actually get six more cultists if you just drop it right think Chester's worth four cultists you actually get six more cultists.
Speaker 2:If you just drop it right on Chester, if that can entice you, you can get six more cultists.
Speaker 1:Actually, that potion of Clouddryer and Strength very flammable.
Speaker 2:It's just moonshine.
Speaker 1:We lied to him it's just hooch, go ahead. They've got to make their dex saves.
Speaker 3:Yes, they do. And while you do that, Cultists are notoriously dexterous.
Speaker 2:Except for they all have drone 20.
Speaker 1:All right, that clump of cultists is going to roll their dex saves. Go ahead and roll your damage.
Speaker 3:I was trying to remember how many d6s it is. A fireball's worth 8, d6., 8d6., 8d6. And that's a lot of fours. That's 30 damage, okay.
Speaker 1:So they'll take 15.
Speaker 3:All of them passed. I ruled it as a swarm. How about you think that over?
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 1:I gave you inspiration and then you made up a story about orphan saving. So that fireball hits it does thin out uh the pocket of um cultists and they are going to be taking uh like a turn off to kind of like regroup themselves, to kind of collect uh themselves. Kaga meanwhile just like just shrugs it off again. That how much damage? You say, uh, that was 30, 30. Yeah, she uh effectively just kind of again just smoking a little bit, just like. All right, so it's going to be, she braces herself, it's going to take a couple swings at you there, chester.
Speaker 3:That makes sense the spell I was going to wrap it up with is actually a full action instead of a bonus action, so that's a bit of a goof on my end, yeah.
Speaker 1:It would have been very helpful. It would have been pull Chester out of danger.
Speaker 3:No, but it would have introduced another danger.
Speaker 1:Yeah, All right, so that's not fun. All right, so 20 hit.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:How about a 24? Also, yes, all right, how do you want to do this bud? Let's see Where's my D12? Die Softly? Nope, I don't, we don't, we don't. So that's five, it's going to be 19.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Slashing damage as that axe cuts into you on the first hit.
Speaker 3:You're doing great, sweetie.
Speaker 1:And then that's going to be another 21.
Speaker 2:Ooh, we're not doing fabulous.
Speaker 3:So 21 damage and then 19 damage.
Speaker 2:Huh, yeah, I look pretty rough, but I'm here, all right.
Speaker 1:Then she just kind of looks at you and she goes you don't understand. Do you know how many loved ones I've had to lie to and say this is I'll save them, just to reset and have to do it all over again?
Speaker 2:But that's the point of them. You get to enjoy them, you get to have them, even if they go away. They're never really gone. I can't believe you don't see that with all your trips around, you think it's all about success. Failure is just as much of life as success.
Speaker 1:Okay the way we're going to do this, because not only are you fighting her physically and she is just a specimen of destruction. It's almost like I made a stat block and was just like yeah, I'll learn from that.
Speaker 2:I don't like that Personally.
Speaker 1:But this is also like I mean. You see, she is conflicted. This is a person that was told she could save reality and then has just failed time and time again and watched people fail, watched specifically you two failed time and time and watched people fail, watched specifically you to fail time and time again and had to undo everything. Watch, uh, her loved ones reset, but she knows what happens to them. All that go ahead and you're going to make a um persuasion check here to kind of appeal to her better nature. Now, this is going to have a high DC. It's going to be a 20. Okay, if, on each consecutive one, if you choose to kind of take some time to do this, either of you, we're going to just keep dropping that DC.
Speaker 2:Ekrem's not really a redemption guy, then you can be like I'm going for the kill, all right, okay uh, yeah, I gave a little speech about how you should enjoy the people and that's kind of the point and persuasion. Nine okay.
Speaker 1:Well, she doesn't seem like convinced. You do know that it's like some of your words are getting through and so she kind of she just looks again like that weary, like she's just tired of this.
Speaker 2:And you said she's upset because she was told she could save everybody and has failed.
Speaker 1:She's seen every time faith get trusted in saviors and they have let people down, and she's had to basically be the stopgap, resetting this reality. Every time, her and the lore worm, and every time she remembers what's happened, but everyone else around her doesn't. Okay, okay, that's going to be your turn, chester okay um, that's gonna be your turn, chester.
Speaker 3:Uh, non-lethally throwing that up top. Uh, yep, uh, you're a more honorable man than me?
Speaker 2:yes, uh well, luckily I'm a fighter, so I can non-lethally punch the shit out of people you can't non-lethally fireball a lot of folk. Uh, I'm gonna go ahead and, uh, unarmed striker, uh does a 19 hit, sure does okay. Uh, then a 31, okay, okay, uh, and I'm gonna, I'm gonna hit like like, like rib shots, you know, like rocky uh getting down there. So the for my first 17 plus 10, 27 fantastic, right and go ahead and roll your surges.
Speaker 2:Okay, and the whole. While I'm like you think no one wants to fail, but it's necessary, it has to happen. The good has to have the bad. You know these things. And then it was 16 and nine.
Speaker 1:Okay, fantastic. So nothing happens. Happens, but you do feel that magic starting to glow. Ekram, what would you like to do? The cultists are regrouping, they are amassing to take another push okay.
Speaker 3:well, I'm going to see that things are not going phenomenal right now and I will hold out my hands as darkness rolls from my eyes and I catch the darkness with my hands as I fall to the ground and when I slam the ground, I summon a spirit of death behind the cultists.
Speaker 1:Okay, oh dear, you're just in the shadows behind you. You're like yes, so close.
Speaker 3:So close, still not talking to you.
Speaker 1:I feel like when you say you don't talk to me, but you acknowledge. I feel like this is talking. It's not Tomato, tomato.
Speaker 3:It follows an action. My action will be to command it to attack Kaga. It does basically three things on its first turn. The first one is I can choose a creature for it to haunt, which will be Kaga. Kaga will need to pass a DC 15 wisdom check or be haunted.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:So that's first thing.
Speaker 1:DC 15?.
Speaker 3:Yes, all right, she passes, she passes. Okay, so the haunt effects don't happen. It has multi-attack equal to the number, the spell level in half, so two attacks. I guess that's the incentive to cast at a higher level. It's a weird spell, I like it a lot. And then for every cultist it moves through to get to Kaga they take a d10 of force damage okay, so I don't know your force damage.
Speaker 1:I don't know how many it can pass through it's got 30 feet of movement, it could pass through that swarm?
Speaker 3:it does, but each person it passes through counts as rough terrain. Okay, so I'm basically strategically placing it to where it can pass through and get to kaga can it be doing like midwest, like? Oh, oh yeah yeah, just like.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's so cold um oh, I feel like gooses.
Speaker 3:Oh, there's a breeze under my robes and then its first reap attack got an 18 to hit. Okay, we'll let that hit. And then the second to hit got a 11. So I'm guessing that one's not going no, that one won't. So the one that hits will do nine necrotic damage. Okay, and that will be my full action is to summon that Reaper.
Speaker 1:All right, um right, the lore worm, uh, she's going to take a her lair action and she's just going to look at you, ekrem, and be like do you remember a time when you felt really good, think about that. And she's going to basically cast the equivalent of a long, or give you the equivalent of a long rest oh shit cool hell yeah and then for chester, glad I just completely blew my load on those last two rounds uh, you are going to get basically the same thing, except this time, like you're going to be able to basically take a short rest equivalent of burning your hit dice, since you're on the other side of the prismatic wall.
Speaker 1:So you can give yourself the hit dice heal, she's going to take that axe and again prepare herself to kind of do a backhand swing at you.
Speaker 3:All right, 28 hits, 30 hits.
Speaker 1:I'll tell you stories all right, all right 15 damage and 15 damage, so 30 damage I'm gonna look at the dragon and be like do that to him. I was doing fine, I was just missing spell slots To see all that faith every time she places in you two, and every time you've disappointed her. Don't you ever get tired of failing? And that's going to be your turn.
Speaker 2:Chester kind of ruminates on the fact that he has been more or less kind of like a failure his entire adult life. He had all this promise growing up as a boxer and you know he got a bit of a. You know the hometown hero. People are rallying behind him and all of his successes have come through like dumb luck and other people's failings, and uh, and then his mind shifts to all the good times he's had, all the, the drinks with friends, the, the nice meals, the training sessions, and uh, he looks up at kaga and he's like I haven't failed.
Speaker 2:I, I might be a failure, I've failed. I might be a failure, I've failed in the past. But you get up again and it's also about the people around you. You should know this. The moments that you get, that's the truly important thing. You might be the most blessed of us all if you get to relive that over and over again the laughter of a friend that you've lost. Once you get it again, that feels like it should be mighty powerful. Uh, and I hope you can see that, uh, and I'm gonna try to like wrestle, like, like, punch her, like, wrestle and like, try to like punch her, punch her wrists to get the axe out of her hands.
Speaker 1:All right, go ahead and make that persuasion check and that DC has been dropped.
Speaker 2:Wait, I got it Actually. Can I go back and just go English or Spanish?
Speaker 1:All right, Persuasion check of fucking three somehow in words she's like she heard I'm a failure and she's like, yeah, charlie brown, speak after that all right, go ahead to grab our uh, I'm. Let's do this as just a contested strength throw or a strength check to see if you can wrassle the blood axe out of her hand.
Speaker 2:Okay, you said strength check, Yep, okay 23.
Speaker 1:She rolled a 20.
Speaker 2:On the die yeah, oh, that's nice for her. Yeah, that's great.
Speaker 1:Again hyper-competent, this Kaga, yeah. So you've got to kind of grab this out of her hands and she wrenches it free. Go ahead and give me an insight, check Ten. You can't tell the emotion reading her face Like this is again just a stoic person. You can tell there's something going on behind that mask of just kind of anger and fury, but you're not sure quite what. All right, the cultists, the ones that aren't like oh, this is breezy on my tokens, we should really wear something under these robes. Feels like death. They're going to go ahead and again just charge at this wall, kind of trying to break it down. Give me a high or low.
Speaker 2:Low.
Speaker 1:Alright, they make it through the second part of the wall and just kind of go up in flames. Oh, just incinerated instantly.
Speaker 3:I was about to do something drastic but, it seems like we might be, maybe not.
Speaker 1:Alright, ekrem, what would you? Oh, I'm sorry, that would be the Lord Dragon's option. She looks at you again, chester, and she's gonna cast a heal on you. So, chester, I don't want to tell you you're doing poorly, but it would be very nice if I didn't have to keep doing this Same page baby. Yeah, so, oh wow, it just regains you 70 flat hit points, oh shit.
Speaker 2:All right, I do the Henry Cavill like, clock my arms.
Speaker 1:Yep, all right, ekron, what would you like to do?
Speaker 3:Okay, so there's cultists that have breached the wall. They're at the second.
Speaker 1:So a prismatic wall has basically Roy G Biv levels. Yeah, they're through the fire now. How many cultists are left? This seems like there's just a stream of them coming in.
Speaker 3:I'm thinking about doing something very drastic.
Speaker 2:Well, don't talk about it, Be about it.
Speaker 3:Well, here's the thing. I don't know if it's too drastic for the situation To save existence. That's kind of what I'm getting at. Okay, I delete existence. I will as a free action. Can I message Chester?
Speaker 1:What's the spell, say, that's a good.
Speaker 3:I thought it was my power. Oh, you tell him, okay, yeah.
Speaker 1:I thought you meant casting message the cantrip.
Speaker 3:Can you get behind the wall?
Speaker 2:The prismatic the wall, the prismatic wall, the prismatic wall, the wall for getting to safety is essentially what I'm telling you to do.
Speaker 3:I think so, and since he didn't use his movement, can he try and go for it?
Speaker 1:And since he didn't use his movement, can he try and go for it? You know, I'm going to just say we're just going to do an athletics off to see if you can do this with Kaga not getting an opportunity attack against you.
Speaker 2:Okay, I mean I trust Akram, I'll take the opportunity attack. I did roll a natural 7, plus 11, 18.
Speaker 1:Okay, she's going to take a swing at you. I did roll a natural 7. Plus 11. 18. Okay, she's going to take a swing at you. Yeah, that's going to hit. All right, you're going to take 18 damage as that axe cuts into you, slaying a nice slice across your back.
Speaker 2:I don't like that.
Speaker 3:My body hurts a lot, but do you make it to the other side? Do I die?
Speaker 1:Yeah, Maybe Do I, but do you make it to? The other side. Do I die? Yeah, Maybe Do I. No, you make it across Again. She's been kind of protecting you from this.
Speaker 3:I actually reach out to that entity in my head and I say, hey, I know that you don't have much faith in me, but fuck you, I'm not going to fuck this up this time as I fly into the crowd and break the staff of power over my knee in the group.
Speaker 1:All right. What happens if you break a staff of power?
Speaker 3:However many charges there are left, which is currently one. I call it snapping into a Slim Jim so it was one, but it resets every day, so I didn't roll when the next day rolled over and I got a six, so it actually has seven charges left on it.
Speaker 1:But didn't you spend them all on a fireball just a few minutes ago?
Speaker 3:No, because when I was doing that, I thought I had 11 charges. So I spent 10, but I never re-rolled to get them back for the crossover of the day.
Speaker 1:Okay, so it works out as seven. Okay, I see what you're doing.
Speaker 3:So anything within 10 feet take eight times the number of charges in the staff, so eight times seven worth of damage.
Speaker 1:Quick Tyson. How many is that? 56. Damn it, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Everything 11 to 20 feet takes six times, and anything 21 to 30 feet takes four times.
Speaker 2:Okay, I will admit, as soon as he started saying numbers, I knew you guys were going to throw to me. I was like all right, Okay.
Speaker 1:So you take that damage too, though, right Correct.
Speaker 3:But I also have a 50-50 chance on a percentile dice to warp to another plane of existence.
Speaker 2:Oh, what the fuck.
Speaker 3:So, but I'm going to kill all of these cultists, okay.
Speaker 1:So you deal 56 damage. Mm-hmm. Go ahead and roll your dice my oh, the percentile.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yes, that's a 96.
Speaker 1:So Okay, I guess we should have established yeah, yeah, yeah, you should have substantiated which the higher, the low uh, let's do higher, low, pick, higher low. Not now you're gonna roll again.
Speaker 3:Oh damn it, cabin, you're bad at this, yeah pretty easy.
Speaker 1:I put real high pretty high.
Speaker 3:I'll do high again, to which I got a 63 63.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry. 36.
Speaker 3:I read it backwards. That's on me.
Speaker 2:You warped to the plane where all the other cultists Were like, drinking Mai Tais and shit.
Speaker 1:Goo, monster Like a Throg, not alone Throg, not alone Throg. Find pretty haired. Nope, chester, you see you've dived through this but to your surprise you've seen Ekram kind of take your place in front of Kaga and smash this axe or smash this staff of power. Just blinding light just kind of makes it so you have to turn away and in that place I'm just going to roll here, pick high or low, low, low, low, let's go low high or low Low.
Speaker 1:Let's go low. You see the corpses of cultists, but you see no sign of Ekrem or Kaga.
Speaker 3:Silver lining, since I got warped to another plane of existence. It says I avoid the damage. So jokes on them.
Speaker 1:So, with that said, your best friend is gone, ekrem, you find yourself drifting in a sea of stars, and that's where we'll end this episode.
Speaker 3:I sure hope we fucking won. There's more to do all right, guys.
Speaker 1:That is it for this episode.