As our heroes explored Ugrange, they discovered a town that seems torn between one decision to stay neutral or join Soldeus. Meanwhile, small skirmishes seem to be happening just outside the gates that the public is unaware of. The next 24 hours may just be the most important this town has ever known. The world breaks everyone, and afterwards, some are strong at the broken places. Ernest Hemingway, Welcome to episode three. Everybody, my name is Tyler Waltz and I will be your DM today, and to my left is Kevin.
Speaker 2:Eggleston and I'll be playing Frolin Lealties, a dragon-born war veteran that just wants to know what happened to his squad.
Speaker 3:He got real. I don't think his voice is that deep.
Speaker 2:No, it's not, I'm trying something new.
Speaker 3:Hi everybody. I'm Tyson Cox. I play Vance Ironside. He's a dwarven cleric who likes to travel and do good in the world and heal those in need.
Speaker 1:And this is Monster, monster. So last time we got to see what was going on at the temple and some of the anti-Soldeus propaganda and we left on Cavan walking into or I guess not, cavan, cavan. You're sitting at the bar and then a character walks in and you're like, hey, that looks like my character.
Speaker 2:Hey, that's a dragonborn.
Speaker 1:Frolin walks into the bar and sees a huge wave of anti-Soldeus stuff and what he thinks is a familiar face sitting at a table in the back.
Speaker 2:I remember asking that firbolg which one would be cool with us and starting to think he might have been blind.
Speaker 1:Well, he did tell you south and around his area and then he said north and the tavern were not quite his type.
Speaker 2:Okay, I thought he was just telling me where the gay bars were.
Speaker 1:I thought he was just using innuendo, just an old homophobic verbal.
Speaker 3:Oh no, he seemed kind of nice until now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I'm going to look around. I'm just going to pull my cloak a little bit tighter to kind of make sure I'm not showing any of those symbols. I'm just going to pull my cloak a little bit tighter to kind of make sure I'm not showing any of those symbols.
Speaker 1:Really regretting getting the I heart Sodeus shirt before I left on this adventure. You just hear, hey, that guy's covering symbols.
Speaker 3:Get him.
Speaker 2:It's that damn perceptive gnome child from earlier. And then you said I saw the elf from the caravan. Yes, and he seems to be engaging in conversation with another guard or with a guard.
Speaker 1:Yes, he is talking to a clearly Saldayan soldier. Okay, okay.
Speaker 2:Would I. Is there any chance I might recognize this soldier? No, because she's very young, probably brand brand new. She looks very frazzled. Okay, uh, it's weird, she's in the bar with clearly anti-soldier and stuff on. Uh, I'm just gonna go up to uh the bartender. Okay, what's, who is who's?
Speaker 1:that the the bartender? Yeah, uh, he doesn't give you a name or anything, he just assumes that you're another customer and he looks up and he goes what can I get you, hi?
Speaker 2:Well, uh, I take a round of your finest, one for myself, uh, and one for, and I'm going to nod, nod over to the nut, over to the elf, the one for, yeah, right, Just I'm going to get him. And a towel. Just nod over to the elf and be like what were my friends drinking? I'd like to surprise them with something.
Speaker 1:Oh, he looks over and he's like. It looks like just a couple of ales.
Speaker 2:All right, I'll take three ales and just bring them over to that table, would you be so kind? Also, do you have any Saldan flags? You can stick in one of them. It's a goof, it's a thing we do, it's like a little prank. Do you have a decorative margarita skewer or a martini skewer? He?
Speaker 1:gestures to you and he just kind of does one of these.
Speaker 2:Oh can you cut out the flag that you have with the little X through it and just stick that on there.
Speaker 1:I don't get paid enough to do this.
Speaker 2:You do now I slide him another coin.
Speaker 1:Okay, I mean the owner might be upset. It's kind of his thing. But he goes and he'll do it. Yeah, and he'll put a little flag in it.
Speaker 2:I want that one to go to the elf.
Speaker 1:Okay, you're clearly trying to make it look like pro-Soldayan, right.
Speaker 3:I just want to make sure I'm understanding the situation Okay. What in life has your character that where? He's like, yeah, they have pro flags just everywhere, squandered in the bar?
Speaker 1:yeah, it's like going into a restaurant, tales, yeah right or going into a restaurant. It's like I'll take a zevia.
Speaker 2:It's like what the yeah, give me tab. I like a fresca, but from the tap.
Speaker 3:Yeah, could you run to the gas station and get me a chernado?
Speaker 2:Oh, something with tamarind in. It would be lovely.
Speaker 1:But he pours the drinks and he goes to hand them to you to take over to the table.
Speaker 2:Oh, so we don't do table service here. Okay Well, this gag. Don't do table service here. Okay Well, this gag is going to get less fun. What kind of establishment. Do you think that this is One that valued a five-star rating on Fantasy Yelp? But no, alas, we're not the shaggy owl there has gone down.
Speaker 3:It'd be on Thaumaturge, wouldn't it? It wouldn't be Yelp, it'd be on thaumaturge wouldn't, it wouldn't be yelp, it'd be thaumaturge.
Speaker 1:He just kind of sighs and he goes not everything has to be fantasy words I think it's better than fantasy yelp um, he just looks and he goes. I'll, I'll bring him to the table nope, nope, nope.
Speaker 2:I don't want to put you out with your job buddy, you know what?
Speaker 1:I have a voucher for this. No, you don't. Your vouchers are not welcome here.
Speaker 2:Wow, he hates Marcus too. What did?
Speaker 3:he do to you. He is a Sulean sympathizer, right.
Speaker 1:Sound guard Right, yeah, yeah, he is a Sulean guard.
Speaker 2:All right, I'm just going to go, I'm going to just look like I'm the cheeriest person, I'm going to sit right next to the Saldan guard and then I'm also. Can I do like a slight of hand check, to like palm a dagger under the table? Sure, yeah, all right. Good job there, bud, that is going to be a 20.
Speaker 1:Oh, OK, you're very lucky because to be a 20. Oh, okay, you're very lucky because I got a 19. So you sit down and they're clearly like if Tyson was the guard and I'm the elf. He's very clearly like laying something out, he's just a lot of hand motions, he's trying to keep like a low profile. And then you just sit down and he just on a dime stops. I'm going just sit down and he just on a dime stops.
Speaker 2:I'm going to put my arm around the Saldan guard, that kind where I'm trying to look very convivial but also making it so she can't flee. Okay, Friends.
Speaker 1:She is actively scared.
Speaker 2:Around to Saldan's health. The glass shows up and I was like no, no, the one with the flag is yours, elf. No, no, put it in front of him, Put it, goddammit, and I just hand them out the way I want them he takes it and then he looks at the guard and then roll me an insight check 12., 12., 12.
Speaker 1:So you don't pick up on anything and uh, I'm just proud of my deception. I'm watching to see if he drinks it drink it.
Speaker 2:Drink it with the flag he.
Speaker 1:Uh, I hope it pokes you in the eye, you, son of a bitch he kind of looks at the, at the tankard, and he doesn't drink it, but he's holding onto it and he looks over and he goes. I, you called us friends but I, I don't. I don't believe we've met before.
Speaker 2:Oh, you don't. We rode together on a caravan. You might not have remembered me, because I was. I was there when it was attacked and you fled moments before. It's fine, I don't think those are connected.
Speaker 1:He looks at you and roll me an insight. Check he goes.
Speaker 2:You seem to have mistaken me for somebody else. I got a 20.
Speaker 1:A 20. Okay, so it's very clearly him, but he is staying incredibly calm, cool, collected, not giving you like an inch.
Speaker 2:I well, friend, I if I mistook you, it must have been a twin or a. Do you have a brother that looks similar to you? Did you once trade IDs with him to sneak into a tavern early? He goes in your youth.
Speaker 1:He goes. I don't think you understand the meaning of friend. I don't know you and you've interrupted our conversation.
Speaker 2:Well, when I see a fellow and I'm going to just open my cloak a little bit a fellow soldier of Soldeus, enjoying a beverage with a man that I know fled a caravan where women and children were threatened, I often think to myself that's a man that needs friends. Roll me persuasion my charisma 12.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, with his charisma eight.
Speaker 2:So so we're just in an uncharisma. It's awkward it's just like I just say, friend.
Speaker 3:You have to kind of sneeze the whole time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he looks at you and he goes. I understand where you're coming from. And then he looks at the Soldan guard and then back at you and he goes. But this is hardly an appropriate time. And at about that time, Vance, you walk into the tavern, because that's where you said you were on your way to.
Speaker 2:I'm going to take the flag out of the elf's drink and put it in one that hasn't been drank. I'm like I'm going to give this to my friend. It's going to be hilarious.
Speaker 1:And you see the same thing, except you see your body frozen sitting at a table with two people. Roll me a perception check to see if you recognize 21.
Speaker 2:21.
Speaker 1:Okay, so you have the same suspicion that that is the elf, but you do not know the lady. The lady hasn't said anything and looks like a deer in headlights.
Speaker 3:I'm just going to grab a seat at the bar closest to the table. Okay, uh, and just get a. Can I get a ale?
Speaker 2:can I do a quick like nod to him to be like watch, like is there a back exit or something like just like hey look over there uh, just watch that in case somebody's going that way and I don't acknowledge it at all, but I do it.
Speaker 1:Okay, cool, the bartender goes well.
Speaker 3:at least I got one fucking normal customer today and he hands you a beer, and then I do a little dance and he's like god damn it, he goes you want me to tear any shit off the wall?
Speaker 1:I don't know.
Speaker 3:I'm just like no, that seems like a pretty crazy request.
Speaker 2:I'm going to point at the glass and be like what the fuck it is.
Speaker 1:And he just looks at you and goes I'm just still upset from this other guy. I was like it's not.
Speaker 2:I have that effect on people.
Speaker 3:Isn't it usually my job to complain about my life to the bartender, not the other way around?
Speaker 1:Not today.
Speaker 2:You're not a hot lady bartender. You can't get away with this.
Speaker 3:But yeah, no, I just keep an eye on the back door and I just get my ale and I quaff it and I get another one because I'm a dwarf.
Speaker 1:Do you respond to the? This isn't the appropriate place comment.
Speaker 2:Well if you have a place you'd rather talk, I'm amenable. We're all friends here. You can continue on your conversation. How do you two feel about the vote? I am taking a look at the signage and I'm saying doesn't seem particularly friendly. Here I had a Furbog friend that assured me Soldeus was well-beloved and I'm starting to have some doubts.
Speaker 1:Well, that's what happens when you move outside of the districts that they control. But I have time later. I'm clearly speaking with somebody on some private manners that still don't think you understand what the word friend means, Are you two?
Speaker 2:oh, oh no, is this a Tinder thing?
Speaker 1:Did I, whatever gets you to leave.
Speaker 2:Okay, I'm gonna just be like, where would you want to meet friend dwarf? I'm gonna just that dagger that I've got hidden, I'm just gonna put it against his leg.
Speaker 1:Is it?
Speaker 2:friend dwarf. You just walk up to Vance, put a dagger in his leg. I don't see species. Sorry, friend elf, I'm going to put that dagger against his leg. Where would you like to meet soon?
Speaker 1:You start to feel a dagger in your leg.
Speaker 2:Oh, I just thought I was excited to see friend elf.
Speaker 1:And he goes just hang around.
Speaker 2:Let me finish this conversation, see how this goes, and then we can talk about whatever you like all right, and then I'm gonna turn to the the lady guard, and I'm gonna be like, uh, excuse me, do you know a marcus?
Speaker 1:she goes yeah, I'm married to his brother. He's a really good guy. I hope he hasn't lost his way like really recently.
Speaker 2:Honestly, if 10 minutes with me is enough to break a person, were they?
Speaker 3:really a good person.
Speaker 2:It is. It's weird. Everyone, you're going to use past tense a lot. We're talking about Marcus. I feel like we're in good person relations. No, I'm just going to give him my best and tell him thank you for the coupon. He'll know what I mean she goes, thank you.
Speaker 1:Are you leaving yet?
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I feel like you're not going to have a second date with this elf. Also, you're married and you're on a date.
Speaker 1:Wow, wow.
Speaker 2:And a shocking amount of open infidelity in this village.
Speaker 3:Yeah, nothing else to do, really.
Speaker 2:Seven.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:You don't pick up anything. No, because I'm like, I'm respecting these two, like hey. I don't support it, but you do your own thing. Maybe Marcus's brother's into it. Marcus struck me as kind of a cuck. You're making a lot of assumptions about people you don't know Well. I interacted with Marcus and we shared coupons, and once you've shared a coupon with a man, it's a bond for life.
Speaker 1:Does every conversation with you go like 30% too long?
Speaker 2:Yes, how long has this one been going?
Speaker 3:Yes. And then I just leave Wait, wait, wait Now.
Speaker 1:So a little bit of time passes, patrons go in and out, it's probably been about an hour and a half, and then the soldier, awkwardly, just kind of stands up and hurries out and a date did not go well, huh and at about that time the elf comes and sits next to both of you better luck next time.
Speaker 2:Huh, more fish in the sea sure, also.
Speaker 1:I didn't catch your name and I will soon, depending on how well this conversation goes.
Speaker 2:So let's start with this. I'm going to ask a guest right now Yay or nay, how's this going to go?
Speaker 1:I think that's entirely up to your decisions.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's a cagey one yeah.
Speaker 1:He goes. Well, you should head to the south of town and you catch that side remark and he goes. He looks at you and he goes. Are you friends? I don't think he knows what that word is, but I'm hoping you do.
Speaker 3:I'm friendly.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, what brings you to town? Let's just start from scratch. Let's assume that this is the first time we're ever talking to each other. What's the deal?
Speaker 3:Well, howdy, I'm Vance Just traveling.
Speaker 2:Okay, we were on the same caravan as you. We got to the back half of the journey, more swordplay than normal on a caravan. You would have known, but you weren't there, so like right before it happened. So follow-up question what the hell?
Speaker 1:uh, that seemed to be a happy uh coincidence uh, for me. Oh, people died and it was happy coincidence for I mean I, I'm not responsible for every person that's around. I just didn't quite want to get my information checked at that guard point, so you didn't know it was about to be attacked. I did not, and you can both roll insights on that.
Speaker 3:Oh, thank you, Permission from the elf is like you can roll insight on that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what do you think I'm thinking? Dude, naturally.
Speaker 1:Okay, oh, your dice are so good. You said five. Yeah, they're pretty good, they're very weighted.
Speaker 2:I'm just going to burn this set. Glad you bought those today. Yeah, no, that was an excellent purchase, so you said five right. Yeah.
Speaker 1:So you don't know, but he's telling the truth. There's not any inflection in his voice or anything. He's not any inflection in his voice or anything. He's not looking away or darting his eyes or anything. He seems to be telling the truth. Who was the checkpoint run by? The checkpoint was ran by Saldayan guards.
Speaker 2:So, my friend, you seem to. I noticed you left the flag over there. Some people keep it as mementos. It's kind of like when you go to Margaritaville and you pay extra for the novelty cup.
Speaker 1:You left the flag, I'm going to go get it for you.
Speaker 2:You know what? I'll be right back, but no what the hell is going on.
Speaker 3:I'm very invested in you having this. He gets a thing and he just won't let it go. He's like a dog, it seems like it.
Speaker 2:But you seem to be wary of Soldeus. Yet you were conversing with that guard and the longer I think about it, I don't think it was a date thing.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, that definitely was not a date.
Speaker 1:I don't personally have any issues with soldius themselves, but I will call out any uh actions that I deem is inappropriate for my cause. So when I see wrongdoing, I point it out and do what I can to stop it and what is your cause?
Speaker 2:well, because we are gentlemen of causes, vance, what's yours? I know what it is, but say it for everyone.
Speaker 3:Oh, uh, yeah, yeah, sorry, I just that's a really deep question, thrilling.
Speaker 2:See, as you can see, that is a worthy cause.
Speaker 3:Do good in the world.
Speaker 1:Try to leave it a better place and, uh, he, he kind of looks down and he goes look, I don't need a bunch of people knowing that I'm here, so let's just keep this as quick as possible to see what our relationship is like going forward. How familiar are you with this vote that's going on tomorrow?
Speaker 3:To my knowledge. I mean, we just got here, so it's a lot of ins and outs, a lot of complicated nuances.
Speaker 2:It seems like it's yay Soldeus, nay Soldeus. It really is binary, honestly.
Speaker 1:That is how they want the general public to feel, but it seems like Soldeus, Nay Soldeus it really is binary, honestly. That is how they want the general public to feel, but it seems like Soldeus has some motivation to make sure that not everybody gets their say. In might be a simple way to put it Are you suggesting they're doing some vote rigging or gerrymandering.
Speaker 2:They're making it not easy rigging or gerrymandering or what's. They're making it not easy. We are a political animal, uh, like a, like a hammer really. We just we see every problem as a nail you're talking about soldans?
Speaker 1:yes, that seems to be, uh, what I've been seeing. So if you are on the south or southeastern side of town, you'll notice a lot of pro soldSoldaian posters, propaganda. There's propaganda on both sides, but you can see where it is very catered and it's not allowed to be discussed in any way, shape or form. Differently, the Soldaians seem to have brought it upon themselves to make sure that this election seems on the up and up, but it's very clearly going to go a certain way.
Speaker 2:Are you saying it's already been decided?
Speaker 1:Yes and no. It has been decided by people that are allowed to decide. And he's being very vague because you came off strong.
Speaker 3:Why are they afraid of letting the vote go? I?
Speaker 2:have like a 16 strike.
Speaker 1:That's pretty good yeah he's like oh, let me see that character sheet. You buff as hell, my dude. Uh, what are we about to?
Speaker 3:say why? Why are they so afraid of the uh of the vote?
Speaker 1:I think the most polite way that I can put this is that if the people want to join, they don't need to be forced to join.
Speaker 3:Well yeah that's what I'm saying. It's like why are they so? You're saying they're going to lose if they don't.
Speaker 1:What I'm telling you is that the public wants to join.
Speaker 3:Then I'm confused. And why are they rigging the vote then?
Speaker 1:Roll an insight check With apparently disadvantage 14. 14. So you can tell that he is implying that the people want to, because that's what the people are being forced into yeah, it's not that the general public wants this.
Speaker 3:No no, I, I get that. He but vance is asking like, like, obviously, yes, that's what's happening. But why are they afraid of that? Not, why are they afraid of leaving it up to gotcha? Uh that was the question, not like what the situation is got it okay.
Speaker 1:Uh, he goes well. This location is just outside the border of soldeus itself and is a very strategic location to get to a trading port to the north, but also a very conveniently located outpost that is of interest to them in the south. So it would be interesting to go to those ports without getting to the middle ground, if you catch my drift.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So, from what I've heard and from some whistleblowers, it seems as though the people that are wanting to vote against to stay neutral in this conflict, as the uh oath makers coalition has done their best to do so far. Soldeus seems to be making sure that that won't happen. Like I said, nothing against Soldeus there are no good, there are no good guys in war, but I do believe that these people have the right to decide their own fate.
Speaker 3:What do you think the best way of preventing the tampering would be?
Speaker 1:Well, I would feel a bit more comfortable answering that if I knew where the two of you stood. No offense to your friend, but he kind of did make it very clear which side he seems to be on right now.
Speaker 2:Got your flag.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I don't think he's on the side of vote tampering.
Speaker 2:No, in fact, it sounds like this would lead to more conflict.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I can't see.
Speaker 1:But this would be a big win strategically for Soldeus.
Speaker 2:So that is not a conflict of interest for you, but I worry more about putting a town that has maintained its neutrality at risk of invasion from other sides trying to seize it back. Location as strategically important has probably protected it more than any Saldan shield.
Speaker 1:He goes, follow me and he puts a couple coins on the bar. Do you guys go with?
Speaker 2:him. Yeah, I'm going to follow him. You also left the flag.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm not taking the fucking flag. I was like I know comedy is rule of threes, but that was the fourth time.
Speaker 2:I paid for it.
Speaker 3:What's with you and that flag? My guy, You're crazy stuck on this flag thing.
Speaker 2:You ever have a gag that you're really committed to.
Speaker 3:Yeah, let it go. We're witnessing it in real time.
Speaker 1:He goes. I can see that both of you are don't take this the wrong way rather bulky, and for where we're going, we're going to need to be discreet. One might say.
Speaker 3:Phanth jiggles his tummy. He's like that's rude, I'm going to reach down and jiggle his tummy too.
Speaker 1:Not what I was talking about. I was more referring to that loud ass armor that you're wearing.
Speaker 3:Sorry, I couldn't hear you.
Speaker 1:My armor was jingling and then he kind of does one of these and you see that he is in like very like loose row. Not ropes, that's what I'm wearing, but like a cloak.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Stealthy. He's essentially saying can you ditch the armor for a little bit?
Speaker 3:I I take some Saran wrap and I wrap my armor very tightly so it doesn't clink.
Speaker 2:Oh, that you're just gonna put yourself in a Saran wrap and I'm like, ah, we can clearly see your nuts, yeah.
Speaker 1:I am crazy.
Speaker 3:So now, everywhere you move it's like yeah, and then I go like I didn't think this one through and I cut off all the Saran Wrap.
Speaker 1:Okay, that'll take days. That felt like a family guy side bit.
Speaker 2:It was like yeah, I'm going to take off my armor. I'm just taking a look at my sheet to be like wait, where is?
Speaker 1:my armor.
Speaker 2:So now I really don't want to do this, but I'm gonna. I'm gonna drop trow, uh, oh. Well, I mean I got like like a jerkin on it. Well, the jerkin's a shirt.
Speaker 3:Well, I got these pants off and I'm jerkin you also got the fresh clothes from the furball I'll switch into the fresh clothes that'll keep my shield out, because like that's not cool, uh, sounds good.
Speaker 1:And then he goes. Just leave your stuff with the bartender. He'll he's taking. I'll switch into the fresh clothes.
Speaker 3:That'll keep my shield out, because that's not Cool, sounds good, and then he goes, just leave your stuff with the bartender. He's taken care of me before he knows. No, I'm going to put it in the bag In the back In my bag. Oh, in your bag. I'm just going to keep it in the bag on me.
Speaker 2:It's a crazy thing. To my armor too. This bartender seems a little miffed with me to be honest, I wonder why?
Speaker 3:Because I tipped him to do a little origami work you have done nothing on camera.
Speaker 1:That seems off-putting to somebody just trying to do their job.
Speaker 2:I try to involve him in a goof.
Speaker 1:Hey, Kevin, next time you go to any restaurant.
Speaker 2:No, they all seem happy when they sing the birthday song and bring you ice cream.
Speaker 1:They seem to love it, right, and he goes, okay, and he starts leading you through the southern end of town where you start to see that it's very clearly fabricated, right, like if you've seen those videos from like North Korea where the news team is like no, they have a Walmart here. It's very catered to the public eye and I need both of you to roll me stealth checks.
Speaker 3:And I don't have disadvantage because I put my thing on, but I do have a negative one, so 13.
Speaker 1:That's going to be a 19 the area that you pull up to is essentially that processing area and roll me perception checks 15, 10 vance you notice that there are three separate buildings and each one tend to be four different people. So when they're processing these people, they're seeing if they're local and then, if they're local, who they essentially support. So you're seeing guards that are asking questions to these people and some of the questions that you're hearing are when was the last time you were here? Do you live here? How's your feeling on the king? When's the last time you were here? Do you live here? How's your feeling on the king? When's the last time you went to soldeus? They're very catered questions, kind of sussing out the beliefs of these people. The ones that are answering more pro oath makers tend to be not necessarily seen, but not in like a. They're getting killed, but they're clearly getting filtered out from the rest of the people, like it's odd that half of these people that live here are getting to leave this area.
Speaker 3:Yeah, hmm, don't know what I can do about that.
Speaker 1:But he looks at you and he goes. But you see where I'm coming from now. You don't just have to trust what I say. You can clearly see that they are tampering with how this is going to go tomorrow.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's not good. Seems very clunky and cumbersome. Why are they doing this so out in the open?
Speaker 1:Because it was an emergency vote due to convenient circumstances. Let's just say, a large chunk of the population on the northern side just got sent over to an outpost just north for the sake of what's a good way to put it neighborhood reconstruction might be a good way to put it Neighborhood reconstruction might be a good way to put it. There's a bunch of buildings that got condemned, so the temporary housing is just outside the city, where it's a little bit more than a day's trip to make it back for the vote.
Speaker 2:Oh God, when they come back, it's going to be gourmet cupcake shops.
Speaker 1:And a Chipotle Salons for dogs. We can't have that. So there are. There are currently three things going on in the city right now that are, uh, dampening this vote. There is this that you can see. There is the outpost to the north, which it seems like we can't do too much about, but with the amount of time that we have, we we could maybe get some of these people back and then over around the temple area there seem to be small conflicts where guards are telling people, uh, false, false information. Guards are going door to door telling people that the vote is canceled when in fact it is not well, son of a bitch.
Speaker 2:Does this have anything to do with the bandit attacks that we've faced?
Speaker 1:Bandits.
Speaker 2:Okay, now we're starting to sound like a conspiracy theorist.
Speaker 1:It's not a conspiracy theory.
Speaker 2:if it's the truth, they're going to be like oh, the rain's turning, the dragonborn gay Let me tell you about the earth. Hard pivot.
Speaker 1:The way that I see it, if we can assist at least two of these groups, it could be just enough to make this a fair vote now. I understand if you have concerns, because we don't necessarily know if that's how the vote is going and, from your perspective or a Saldan's perspective, I could be just shifting the favor Like cheating for cheating, if you get what I'm saying. However, I hope that you can clearly see that wrangling these people is not the correct way to do this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I like a fair and open and honest election.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I like a fair and open and honest election. I think the easiest thing to do would be start with going up towards the temple and then getting the guards to stop telling people it's canceled. I think that's the easiest one to do. Yeah, that sentence trailed off like there was more.
Speaker 2:No, I was trying to think of the other two options.
Speaker 1:Would you turn it into a question at the end there, yeah, by just feeling the vibe out seeing how you guys feel about it into a question at the end there Feeling the vibe out, seeing how you guys feel about it. It started with a comma and then it became question mark, Do we think?
Speaker 2:there's any chance I could get them to release these people back to their homes. Could I bluff my way into them thinking, since I am a Saldanian soldier?
Speaker 1:technically, you do seem to be in a unique position to where you could speak to the guards on the north side and tell them that there's new orders uh, like a subterfuge kind of thing oh, I was gonna threaten them.
Speaker 3:That's actually a pretty good idea.
Speaker 1:That's way better but you can also speak to these guards to try and get them to release people and, with the shifts that are currently being worked, obviously we cannot be in two places at once, unless we decide to split up.
Speaker 2:Well, friend dwarf Vance, you are a little bit more persuasive than I am with the folks, especially around the temple. They might look favorably on a man of the what god is that that you worship A wolf? Is that a wolf that's been growing in a mine all its life? Make an insight check.
Speaker 3:Yeah, this is my family crest. It's the mine wolves. It's the local sports team. I like 18?.
Speaker 2:It's a furry wolf, fuck off, but it's got like a miner's helmet on.
Speaker 3:I'm a proud family.
Speaker 2:I'm proud of my family Also. Also, that'd be weird if you're like. I worship to the god of me.
Speaker 3:Oh no, that's. That's my family crest. I follow Palor.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they might respond well to a man of the cloth. You know You'd see a real neutral party, since you got Old Big Papa P on your side, oh yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Say it, say Big Papa P is on my side.
Speaker 3:I'd rather not do that.
Speaker 2:All right, not going to pull threads on that one.
Speaker 1:So you're.
Speaker 3:Why don't?
Speaker 1:you take us Sounds like, you guys are on board yeah.
Speaker 2:And then I'm going to be like I have a plan. Can I gussy up, gussy up, gussy up?
Speaker 2:So I've got a couple of these symbols and stuff and I have that trinket that I bought from that guy and I have that trinket that I bought from that guy. Can I put any of that, like the badge that I got on the elf, and just be like roll with me, here we're going to go in? Give me, you're a sneaky son of a bitch, I'm not going to lie, you would like you. Just I'm going to take that as a compliment.
Speaker 1:You should.
Speaker 2:But you're also like how do?
Speaker 1:you do, pretending to be military intelligence. Oh I, if you guys were handling these.
Speaker 2:I had a something else that I was going to handle oh, but uh, you have you ever seen good cop, bad cop?
Speaker 1:I'm going to seems a bit played out.
Speaker 2:I'm going to be good cop. You're going to be Saldanian Inquisition.
Speaker 1:Huh, so you would like my assistance in this area.
Speaker 2:Yes, I wanted to go into the theater and be an actor, but my father said, no, you need to serve your country. And so I was like well, you can dance with a sword just as well as you can with a partner. I don't think that's true at all.
Speaker 3:I learned the ballet of death. Well, anyways, what does that have to do with what we're doing now?
Speaker 2:I'm just saying I'm going to go in and I'm going to be your honor guard and you're going to help me liberate these people. We're going to be taking them for the Inquisition to be questioned.
Speaker 3:I mean, if you have somewhere you need to be, I could do that. Or do you want to be Dwarven prisoner?
Speaker 2:Ooh, I love Dwarven prisoner. What do I start a riot on the inside If you want to convince him.
Speaker 3:No, actually that could be really fun If what do I do?
Speaker 1:Start a riot on the inside. If you want to convince him.
Speaker 2:No, actually that could be really fun.
Speaker 1:If you do want to convince him, it'll be an opposed persuasion check, because he's going to look and he goes. I like your plan. I appreciate the setup. However, let's just say it's a contingency plan. In case this doesn't go through, I have some backups that I need to ensure are in place for tomorrow.
Speaker 2:All right, I'm going to you know what? You don't earn this.
Speaker 1:I take that Vance Yep, I need to know oh, I didn't even need to roll Wow.
Speaker 2:Do you have an inner darkness that you can? You seem very cheerful, most times very good natured. Inquisitors are kind of not great.
Speaker 3:I think the cool thing about Inquisitors, to my knowledge, is I could just be quiet the whole time.
Speaker 2:I just want to see a little bit of let me see your Palor's mad face.
Speaker 3:And you see, vance just seem to disappear somewhere deep in his psyche and his face grows dark and glower, almost like a shadow casts over the sun. So it just seems darker.
Speaker 2:Well, shit, all right, you get this one in Spain. Son All right, all right just do God, do that, but do not look at me.
Speaker 1:So the two of you have decided to worry about the processing area.
Speaker 3:Yes, Okay, and if you have time hit up the temple. The north yeah.
Speaker 2:I imagine this isn't going to take a ton of time to like. It's literally like hey, we, the Inquisitor wants them, let them go, because I imagine, like who's going to question the Inquisition? Like it's an Inquisition.
Speaker 3:They do the questioning.
Speaker 2:You can't question a questioner.
Speaker 1:He looks and he goes. Gentlemen, I greatly appreciate the assistance. You will be a great help to the cause and, by the way, my name is Zang Zach, and that's where we'll fade TGF Fridays, zach. Thank you you everybody for watching episode 3. This has been Monster Monster. My name is Tyler Waltz and you can find everything I do here at Monster Monster or Nerd News.
Speaker 2:And I'm Kevin Eggleston, and all my stuff can be found at KevinEgglestoncom.
Speaker 3:I'm Tyson Cox. You can find me at TysonCoxComedy and if you like this, please tell a friend. Like, share, subscribe. We're growing so that's really cool. So thank you for everyone that's listened so far and thank you to all the new fans, hey and leave a like and comment.
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