Previously on Monster Monster. Our heroes, along with their new friend, made it into the port of Soldeus' largest city, the city of Silverkeep. But an ambush hasn't made it easy. After an explosive struggle, they were able to break through the enemy lines, but unfortunately the cost of this was losing their friend Dudley Wayne Budley. Welcome to Monster Monster everybody. My name is Tyler Waltz and I am your Dungeon Master, to my left, as usual.
Speaker 2:Hello everybody. I'm Tyson Cox. I'm playing Vance. He's a cleric who just is maybe not the brightest candle, but he's trying to light up the dark I like the only thing that you did for your character was his name.
Speaker 3:Vance.
Speaker 2:Back to Tyson, to my right. Well, vance isn't going to describe himself like that. Back to Tyson, tumat, right.
Speaker 4:Well, vance isn't going to describe himself like that. I'm Brian Petrie. I'm playing Dolanmere Sedrin, aka Dolo, you know, just out here trying to figure out how to get some necropathy out of my neck. We're going to see what happens.
Speaker 1:What an interesting phrase.
Speaker 4:Yeah, get it up out of your neck. All right, and our special guest today is.
Speaker 1:What an interesting phrase. Yeah, get it up out of your neck, all right. And our special guest today is Hi, I'm Rev.
Speaker 3:I'm the host and GM of the Crit Show, which is an actual play podcast where we play Monster of the Week and other Powered by the Apocalypse games, all within the same dimension, hopping narrative Also. This is this is. I've been sitting in the other room while they've been recording. Yeah, this is the new place they've been recording. He likes to watch.
Speaker 4:It's his thing. I've even got blinds that I can use. I saw.
Speaker 1:All right. And you're playing.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I am playing Ranger Daith Garmajan, that's a hell of a last name I was stuck on the first name.
Speaker 4:Daith, daith Is that with an E or no E name daith.
Speaker 1:Daith, is that with an e or no e? Uh, no, e. Okay. Yeah, d-a-i-t-h. Okay. So, vance and dolo, you just broke through a fiery wall of illusions. You just lost your friend dudley in the blaze and you are on your car heading into the city where we ended. Was you breaking through? How do you feel about everything that just happened?
Speaker 4:Oh shit.
Speaker 3:I'm sweaty.
Speaker 4:I'm sweaty and clammy. Are you all right? Yeah, I'm. You ever breathe in fake fire.
Speaker 1:Fire was real. The people were the illusions.
Speaker 4:Something happened.
Speaker 1:I got a cough av is there as well, in case you forgot that she oh, son of a bitch, yeah she didn't do anything to help either she got the cart
Speaker 2:off the boat she did, she did do that I learned you're very good in non-combat situations.
Speaker 1:Yes, it's almost like I'm here to just fill in the little gaps of the story, to progress us Great. As you head in, you notice that no illusions are really pursuing you at the moment, and this is the first time that you've actually been able to take a look at the city. And you look up and you are even for this alleyway. It's huge, and both of you roll me. History checks really quick.
Speaker 4:Mm 15.
Speaker 1:Okay, seven, seven, okay, seven, seven. Okay, so you don't know too much. You haven't been to Sol Deus very much. Dolo, you know that this is Silverkeep. This is basically the New York City of Sol Deus. It's not their capital, but it is by far their biggest city in the entire country. And even just this alleyway that you're in is completely, just elegant, like they're silver and with your history check. The reason that it's called silver keep is because it is on one of the only natural deposits of silver in soldeus, so it is by far the richest and every every mover and shaker tries to come here in order to make a quick buck. But even like the alleyways and stuff are very elegant. And as you guys are heading down this alleyway, you spot in the middle of the road waving very frantically a halfling trying to wave you down.
Speaker 2:Oh, I walk up to the halfling.
Speaker 1:You walk up.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You're like speeding on a cart right now.
Speaker 2:Oh, this is like a hey, yeah, I step off. Yeah, right, no, I guess I just will drive the cart towards them and try to slow it down.
Speaker 1:Okay, she is actively out of breath and she goes. What happened back there?
Speaker 2:It's a Tuesday, it is. That's a terrible explanation.
Speaker 1:It's a Tuesday, it is. That's a terrible explanation. It's Thursday.
Speaker 4:It's Tuesday for us.
Speaker 1:This doesn't make any sense to me at all.
Speaker 2:She doesn't know the password. I don't think they're the one we're looking for.
Speaker 4:I don't think so either.
Speaker 1:It was nice meeting you little ma'am. So I guess roll me a deception for the code thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was just goofing around, but 18.
Speaker 1:Okay, she looks down and she goes. Silva didn't tell us anything about a code. Are you the ones that Silva sent to Soldeus?
Speaker 2:She does know the password, all right.
Speaker 1:She looks up and she reaches her hand out. She goes. I'm Galora.
Speaker 2:And I scoop her and I toss her onto the cart and keep going because I don't want to stop. We're like four feet from the fire, right?
Speaker 1:No, no, no, you guys made it. What I was describing was what you guys were seeing, as you were.
Speaker 3:Oh, riding into the city I forget to mention she was on fire as she was having this conversation.
Speaker 2:It's real chill.
Speaker 4:Ironically, I don't feel pain, so she basically saw it in the distance. She saw an explosion in the distance and she goes.
Speaker 1:Oh, after you throw her up on the cart, she goes. I was hoping that you would come with me and you notice that there is now an open door that you could park your cart into.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then I park my cart in there and then we all hop off. Okay, it's being polite.
Speaker 1:She goes. Ah, so I haven't seen your faces before.
Speaker 4:Which one of you is Vance and which one of you is Dolo. All right, I'm Dolo.
Speaker 1:Okay, begrudgingly saying your name. Yeah, she goes, okay, and you must be Vance, and about that time she reaches, reaches, she puts down her bag and she gets out and she hands you a mace. Okay, and Dolo, she hands you essentially a slip of paper and we'll get to that here in a bit and the mace that she gave you is currently imbued and you can see that silver is lining the handle and up towards the mace head, and you know that this is or well, well, I guess you don't know, but this is essentially a plus one mace that also does 1d4 radiant damage when you use it. And she goes. I was told to give you this. We'll talk more about your, your paper soon. Uh, there's a spell that it will help you cast, follow me.
Speaker 1:And then you go, you open up a door and it leads to a staircase and you go down the staircase and it opens up into a big meeting room where you see three other people standing in this room. You see a very large, like the largest orc you have ever seen, in full, heavy, silver, ornate armor. You see a wizard-looking elf in robes that are lined with silver and onyx, and then, finally, our special guest for today is at the same table. When you walk up, the elf goes ah, hello, hello, our guests. Silva has mentioned quite a bit about you. I, just to be blunt, I'm a bit weary, uh, especially about this one. Uh, a bit on the horny side. But it seems, gentlemen, that we have a a stellar opportunity for all of us here to essentially bring down this corrupt organization that we've all been affected by.
Speaker 2:Would you like to?
Speaker 1:take a seat.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:He goes, okay, around the room, he points and he goes the orc here. This is Dulik. He is our commander of we don't really have an armed forces, but any time that shit hits the fan, he seems to be the one that gets us out of it. And then he looks at both of you and he just grunts and nods. And then, of course, we have Daith, and I'll go ahead and let you introduce yourself to the party.
Speaker 3:Hey, I scout the area between places, not like alleyways, but like worlds.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's very descriptive. Thank you for keeping that pretty clear.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then he goes and of course you've met Galora and he points to the half-elf and I am Karim. I am the wizard who has been researching here with Daith, the place between places, as he kind of described it other planes I noticed and Silva filled us in on exactly what your abilities are after dealing with Alyssum, and we believe we have found a way to attack her where she lives and we were hoping that you gentlemen would be right there going through the portal with us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's going to help our buddy right, Get the necklace off.
Speaker 1:Ah, yes, the necklace. We don't have any further information about that, so unfortunately I cannot help you with that.
Speaker 4:What do you mean? You can't help me?
Speaker 1:I mean, I don't know why I would have to explain any. Are you asking me to like prove a negative?
Speaker 4:No, I mean like you don't have, there's no information, nothing you could tell me. I mean, we came all this way. I got this shit stuck on me. They told me you was going to be able to help me out.
Speaker 1:I don't think they told you that I could help you. I think they told you that by coming here and dealing with Alyssum that would help. I mean, their best scientists tried to get that thing off of you and couldn't help. I don't know any more than him.
Speaker 2:He was a bit of a crackpot.
Speaker 4:Yeah, man he just wanted to pour stuff on me and giggle.
Speaker 1:I mean, it's pretty, we don't have iPhones yet, you sure I can't't wait just getting something poured on you and giggling.
Speaker 2:That doesn't sound, that doesn't sound terrible but he goes.
Speaker 1:Unfortunately I cannot. However, before we head in, we would like to offer you as much help as we can in prepping for this venture, because it does seem to be quite perilous. And he leads you over and sends you over with duluk, and in this room is essentially any piece of armor, any like spell scrolls that are, I would say, probably second, third level or lower. Uh, and you guys will have to roll to see what you're able to find in here, but any gearing up that you want to do or training before entering this realm needs to be done now. This is when the video game basically tells you hey, make sure you've got your affairs in order before you go in here.
Speaker 3:Yeah, if you look over there, we've got a giant barrel filled with healing potions. Over there is a save spot and in the back corner we've got a bunch of food that gives buffs.
Speaker 1:And nine millimeter ammo. Just a broom clasp with a typewriter. Yeah right, and there's a pizza on the floor too.
Speaker 4:A whole rotisserie chicken, I'm just going to eat a bunch of these leeks, Okay.
Speaker 1:And then Dullek looks at you and he goes you got that piece of paper. Maybe, why are you like this?
Speaker 4:You told me to play my character.
Speaker 2:I like how every NPC is already based off the previous NPC's interaction. No, no, no, they called ahead, they warned us.
Speaker 1:These people have been nothing but nice.
Speaker 3:NPCs here. They run on a hive mind.
Speaker 1:He goes. I'm trying to help you.
Speaker 4:I'm trying to help you. Let's help each other out. You want this piece of paper, what you got for me.
Speaker 1:I'm trying to. Not everything is a deal.
Speaker 4:Sometimes people are just trying to help as he says that I just slide him the piece of paper. But also I want a sleight of hand, not let him take it.
Speaker 2:Son of a bitch.
Speaker 1:All right, roll your sleight of hand Ooh 18. Oh he got 16 on the dice but he is not uh dex based so you got lucky on that one. So he's like okay, come on, it's like the little ice cream cone finally, I'll let him have it okay, I would it.
Speaker 2:I would hate that so much you know what he looks at.
Speaker 1:Both of you, we'll handle this alright. Dave, you're now the main character. I wish it was nice working with the other two. But he takes the piece of paper and he holds three books and he goes this piece of paper and he holds three books and he goes this piece of paper is attuned to these three tomes and whichever one that you attune to, it will essentially let you change the element of your spells into the book that you attune to so it'll allow you to diversify your fire magic, because I know that fire doesn't seem to be as effective to illusions as most creatures.
Speaker 1:So he hands you these three tomes and essentially, whichever one you attune to for the day, it will allow you to transmute your fire spells into either radiant, necrotic or water.
Speaker 2:Nice wet fire.
Speaker 1:Yeah, wet fire.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, that's my stage name from now on.
Speaker 1:But they are limited. Each book can only be used five times because as you use the slip of paper in each book, it burns away the pages. It looks like you have already gotten your mace.
Speaker 4:Yes.
Speaker 1:Is there any other equipment that the two of you would like?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'd like to try to find something to help my dex, because my dex is let me check here bad, it's very bad. Some would say it's negative.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay. Well, everybody has to be bad at some things.
Speaker 4:But you don't have to be abysmal, I'm going to look around for some healing items or potions, because I'm wearing this necklace and I got to keep surviving the damn necklace.
Speaker 1:Also real quick. Who made your?
Speaker 2:character Me, so it's your fault.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, you're like I want to fix this thing that I made a problem.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you go. Hey, do you want to have any armor to help improve your character? Like yes, I'd like to improve my character's weakest point. Like how dare you?
Speaker 1:no, I just thought it was funny that you're like, oh, I'm bad at this thing. It's like, yeah, but uh. So when you look around you do find a pair of boots, okay, that will give you uh plus one to your decks, and then he does give you uh each two, uh health potions. After that, I think, if you guys are good, we will go ahead and get started with the ritual.
Speaker 4:A ritual.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm, we can get the portal open.
Speaker 4:Oh, all right.
Speaker 1:Okay. So he sits, everybody down and he goes. Okay, essentially, what is going to happen is we have located the exact coordinates of the plane that Elissum is using to hide all of her companions and all of her illusions, and blinking them in and out of our realm, which makes it incredibly difficult to combat her, considering she creates them what seems to be as fast as we are destroying them, considering she creates them what seems to be as fast as we are destroying them. So when this opens, we will have very little time and I cannot promise what's going to be on the other side. I do know that we will be within Arrow's distance of their base Because it seems, like on the other plane, she has decided to use this city as her home.
Speaker 1:Like on the other plane, she has decided to use this city as as her home. So please be very careful and be very cautious, because you will not see what is there until we cross that threshold. And then kiram looks up and goes dave, are you ready? Yeah, I suppose so. So at this time he holds up his staff and he is making a symbol on the wall and at about that time you touch it to bring through the plane. And the moment that you see the tear beginning to come down, you feel a sharp pain in your arm. Give me a wisdom saving throw.
Speaker 2:Heart attack. Son of a bitch yeah.
Speaker 1:You smell burnt toast. This is how my dad went yeah yeah, and thank you for joining us today.
Speaker 3:I'm sorry it didn't work out Dead before the first commercial break. Yeah, we're really just here for your name.
Speaker 1:Six.
Speaker 3:Six.
Speaker 1:Okay, wow, that's with being a ranger as well, I rolled a four, oh no. So at about that time you feel that sharp pain shoot up your arm as you take literally minimum damage to necrotic damage and it begins to just you feel a burning, necrotic surge go through your body. But the riff opens up. And the moment that the riff gets all the way to all the sigils that were just drawn, tentacle and ethereal arms, blast out of it and grab the three of you and pull you in.
Speaker 3:Oh, hey, I think there's a problem.
Speaker 4:Don't put your phone. And the moment the three of you cross oh hey, I think there's a bra.
Speaker 1:Don't put your phone and the moment the three of you cross that threshold, the door is sealed behind you and the look Karen and Galora did not make it through in time.
Speaker 2:What about Av?
Speaker 1:Av, she's with the cart. That's what that's her job.
Speaker 2:All right, okay, that's her job.
Speaker 1:Okay, we'll come back when something that we forgot about that needs to be wrapped up, needs wrapped up Av will do it.
Speaker 4:She better be watching that cart. I got those crates.
Speaker 2:I ain't forgot, I ain't even opened them to see what's in there. Yet that's true, I got the keys to my man, grotto.
Speaker 1:Yep, my cart Yep. And as you cross this threshold, your eyes almost need to adjust. Actually, all of your eyes do need to adjust. Give me wisdom saving throws from everybody except Dath, because you failed the first one.
Speaker 3:Good, because I also would have failed the second one, oh, okay, 21.
Speaker 2:Okay 22.
Speaker 1:Okay, cool, so both of you. It's almost like when you step out into the sun or I guess I'm an idiot you literally stepped into the ether. Your eyes are adjusting to the darkness.
Speaker 2:It's like the sun. But if it was out.
Speaker 1:Yeah right, Literally the opposite in every way. I just tried to say.
Speaker 4:Yeah, but we're dark vision.
Speaker 1:Right, but this is magical darkness Okay. Yes, which is different than how dms get past dark vision that's fair um. So as your eyes adjust, you can't see very far in front of you, but often the distance you see glimmering lights of what looks like an absolutely massive mansion I bet they got some good stuff to steal in there Dolo.
Speaker 4:They probably do. I don't like the shape of that house, though that's very plantation-like. Where the fuck are we?
Speaker 3:I guess, oh God, I've been stricken blind.
Speaker 1:It looks like Alabama. Oh God, ding-a-ling, ding-a-ling. Oh God, I recognize that music.
Speaker 2:Run, run. I don't know, it's a bit of a jaunty tune. I might check it out. I have made a terrible mistake.
Speaker 1:And the tentacles that pulled you in are now retracting back into the mansion and you see them going in through the windows at the top.
Speaker 2:Well, I think they know we're here.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I think they also made off with your manhood. It looks like Where'd that come from. What I don't know, it was tentacles.
Speaker 1:I just assumed where they Did you just ad-lib him getting neutered? Yeah, I pat myself down. I'm like no, no, no.
Speaker 2:I'm circumcised now. That's me.
Speaker 4:What a strange turn of events.
Speaker 3:Didn't fill a thing.
Speaker 1:That's crazy. Very efficient.
Speaker 2:Here, here, and I grab Dath by the arm. I'm like I got you, buddy, you all right, you good, it's me, it's your new friend, vince with an A.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:He's got it.
Speaker 3:It's me Vance, your friend, but wait no, there's supposed to be six of us to do this. There's only three of us now.
Speaker 2:You can't know that You're blind.
Speaker 3:He counts as two people. I only hear the two of you and I smell my friends.
Speaker 4:I know they smell. You guys' smells are unfamiliar to me. Yeah, that orc did have a smell.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this is very got left behind. Two random strangers, temporary blindness. It's one hell of a trip for you Talking about magical circumcision and plantation owners?
Speaker 3:I'm afraid yeah, well, come on it's just a Tuesday. It's not. What are you talking about? It's Thursday Exactly. Let's go.
Speaker 2:Standing around being worried ain't going to change nothing. That door is shut.
Speaker 3:Aiming my bow at nothing, literally everything.
Speaker 1:At this moment you can see, your eyes have adjusted better and there are many illusions, but not the type of illusions that you are used to in the normal plane, where they were taking the form of like humans. These, almost these literally look like specters, like flying cloaks, hollow faces with shadowy fingers peering from them, and it almost looks like they are not on their own free will. Right now they are literally just traveling paths and I need all three of you to roll me insight or perception.
Speaker 2:Daith, don't worry, I'll describe what's happening. Thank you, we are in a Disneyland-esque small world situation, but it's hell.
Speaker 4:You can see now that was very temporary Bam 22.
Speaker 1:Okay, just like a seven, like a seven.
Speaker 3:Just like a seven dude 25.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, so the two of you they got over 20s you very quickly notice that these exterior like spirits are very clockwork. You can easily maneuver through them without being spotted, um, and you are able to track their paths pretty quickly as you make it through, uh, this open courtyard, um, one thing that you are noticing is that when, when they reach the end of their path, instead, instead of them turning around and looping, they're literally floating up and disappearing and a new one is spawning. So it's just a constant cycle of creation and stuff like that. Once you make it into the courtyard, the specters seem to be getting more. What's a good way. They're forming to be like stronger entities like they.
Speaker 1:These are now more along the lines of what you've seen out and about, uh, so you can kind of, with your perception checks put together, that the closer you get, the the more, uh, diligent you need to be. Um, and in this courtyard it seems to be almost opposite of the rest of this dreary landscape, where there's like a full garden, there's a fountain. It's almost like they are trying to recreate what they have seen on the other side, and the illusions here are so strong that you can actually smell the flowers and you are actually getting a sense. And for a moment, I need you guys to make me intelligence saving throws so strong that you can actually smell the flowers and you are actually getting a sense. And for a moment, I need you guys to make me intelligence saving throws 17.
Speaker 4:Okay, intelligence 10. Okay, 10. 18.
Speaker 2:Luckily the DC's nine, so Okay, perfect.
Speaker 1:Yeah right.
Speaker 2:Yes, and Tyler yes, and we get too close.
Speaker 1:DC's nine, so nothing bad happens from a fail.
Speaker 1:No, I'm just kidding, the DC save was 12. So if you guys were just dropped here and you didn't see the previous events in this garden, you would think you're still in the real world. But for you, for a moment, you almost question whether you're here or not. In this courtyard you see the front door, which has four of these specters in front of it, the more formed ones, but you also see a a side entrance. Well, you know in, like the old mansions and stuff like that, there's always a big yard around the whole thing with like gates and stuff like that, so you also see side gates to lead to the back courtyard of the mansion.
Speaker 1:How would you guys like to proceed?
Speaker 2:Well, what do you think, Ranger?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean, if we want to go around the back, obviously there's going to, obviously, obviously I'm going to keep saying it because I hope it's true Be a little less threats, but inside, in the front door, we're in it. So how do you work as a team?
Speaker 1:Are you like a head-on confrontation kind of group or you sneak around.
Speaker 4:As they're discussing this, I'm looking for a window.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, I mean, it's a huge mansion. There are many windows, all the way around.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I'm looking for a window and I'm going to find a window along. You said there's like a wraparound porch.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm going to find one of those windows and start trying to jimmy my way into that window when you approach the window and you get out your lockpick set, the windows aren't real, so when you go to put your lockpick in it it's not moving the pins. You can't.
Speaker 4:You can't physically manipulate it what happens if I go to try to open the window when you go to try to open the window.
Speaker 1:Uh, you can, you can put your hands on it, but uh, I guess, roll me a strength check anyways, we, uh, we kind of go through all right, just kind of whatever happens to us. I see, yeah, they're more reactionary, okay, in their nature.
Speaker 4:I get mad at it like I stubbed my toe. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah you got a nat 20. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I hate to be that DM, but the physical pressure that you apply to this window does not budge it. However, with your nat 20, I will give you advantage on your wisdom to try and, like will yourself, to open this door that's what I was trying to get you to realize.
Speaker 2:I thought you were gonna give him a hernia.
Speaker 4:I was gonna say, I'll take that too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, maybe the first ever nat 20. That hurts the player oh you know what?
Speaker 4:uh, in that case, you know what? Y'all have an idea, because I think I've just figured something out. I just tried like hell to open this window, damn near, threw my neck out.
Speaker 1:But I think I have an idea. Are you lifting?
Speaker 3:with your neck. Yeah, that's real bad for you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you just grab it and you go Just strain it. Yeah, I'm not lifting with my legs.
Speaker 2:It's very dangerous. No, it's twisting in your back.
Speaker 1:I got a plan and I just I'm like this, I got this, and I just turn around and I walk backwards into that, just like, all right, that didn't work. What were you doing into the window? Yeah, so here's the thing make me a wisdom check.
Speaker 2:Oh son of a bitch I'm good at that too, so uh, fucking 19 okay, did you believe that you were actually going to do something?
Speaker 1:yeah you did, yeah, youased through and break the window.
Speaker 2:Yeah, break the window.
Speaker 1:Break the window Because you can consciously comprehend the situation. So you, that's what you said you did.
Speaker 2:I was hoping I was going to Kitty Pryde through it at best. But yeah, here we are.
Speaker 1:You believed that you were going to affect the window, so you just full-on walked into it and then broke and fell through the window. I just thumbs up.
Speaker 2:I got it, guys. I didn't know that. All right, sorry about that yeah.
Speaker 4:You know he surprises me some days. Was that your plan? Yeah, it was actually. I'm not exactly sure how he knew, but you'd be surprised.
Speaker 3:Hey, at least you guys are on the same page, you asked how we work as a team.
Speaker 4:We don't, and it works.
Speaker 3:All right, I'm going to climb in the window.
Speaker 1:Okay, as you climb through this now spectral broken window, you see the elegance of this mansion. It looks like every bit of pride and greed and just the vein of wanting the material world all for yourself is embodied in this mansion.
Speaker 2:Ah, we're in a Kardashian.
Speaker 1:I mean a lot of people have been in a Kardashian hey.
Speaker 4:All right, thanks everybody, we'll see you next week.
Speaker 3:Monster, monster, monster. We'll see you next week Roll me.
Speaker 1:I hate to keep having you do perception checks. So either perception or arcana 27.
Speaker 4:Okay, I'm going to go perception and give myself a 17.
Speaker 2:11 perception.
Speaker 1:Okay, 11,. So everybody did perception. So where the garden seemed real, with the smells and stuff like this, the moment you broke through that seal of the exterior, unless you are actively thinking about it, you will lose track of what realm you are in. So, uh, essentially, be careful with letting your mind wander here.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, as we're walking, I'm like hey I didn't know that was your plan. I'm sorry, I was doing a goof and it worked.
Speaker 4:Yeah, just remember, all your goofs actually work in this world.
Speaker 2:Thank God. I might never leave a realm where all my bits land. Let's not get carried away. I'll let you fall through a window.
Speaker 1:As you make it through and you realize this, you also notice the 20s that the window did cause quite a bit of commotion and you hear many footsteps heading your way. You need to very quickly make a decision on whether you're going back out the window or deeper into the house or up a staircase that you see, but you can't see what's at the top of the staircase All you hear, are footsteps. Staircase.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, you head up the staircase, yep.
Speaker 4:We don't even discuss it, we just kind of take off running like in a horror movie. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, I need everybody, since you all went up the stairs, to roll me dexterity saving throws.
Speaker 2:Guys, I'm slightly better than I used to be. Those boots are sharp 15 on the die, so 15, baby, You're welcome.
Speaker 1:It could have been a 14. It could have been a 14. Just be thankful for what you get you know 16.
Speaker 3:Okay, I'm really going to run the gamut here.
Speaker 1:Natural one oh, no, yes, so luckily the two of you take no damage, because Daith took all of it, oh shit.
Speaker 2:He's the first one up, just yeah right.
Speaker 3:I get halfway up the stairs, it turns into a slide.
Speaker 1:Oh shit. Makes that little clown whistle noise as you head up the stairs since you were first you do not notice a trip wire on the third from the top staircase and as you hit that trip wire, the step falls from beneath you and you slide away.
Speaker 4:Fuck guys.
Speaker 3:I got him. Yeah, oh shit, you're separating from the group. Fuck guys I got him yeah, oh shit.
Speaker 1:Separating from the group.
Speaker 2:He gets yoinked a lot.
Speaker 1:Upon hitting the ground, you take five falling damage. Now, vance and Dolo, you have a decision to make. Do you follow or do you continue up the stairs, because I'll let you guys take. You know it exists, so if you step you can follow him, or you guys continue up the staircase.
Speaker 2:I like that. We're just leaning over like a Tarantino trunk scene.
Speaker 4:How far down is he.
Speaker 1:You cannot see the bottom because it turns.
Speaker 2:I don't want to leave him separated.
Speaker 3:My legs are very badly broken, shut up.
Speaker 4:We're trying to think.
Speaker 1:The tentacles are here. Suck on where they live.
Speaker 3:They're very intrusive.
Speaker 4:Is my foreskin down there. I don't even say anything. I just look at Vance and I just push him down the hole. I go whee, Whee, Okay.
Speaker 1:All right, brian, making all the executive decisions today. So, now final question Do you go down the?
Speaker 4:hole.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I jump down behind him Because if you pushed him down and then went up the stairs?
Speaker 3:I'm not going to do a repeat of that. This is Dolo's episode now. All right, so you do a repeat of that. All right, so you do jump down, yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:As you get to the bottom of this slide, you go into a room that has completely changed the atmosphere and is very one might say dungeon-esque. So in this room you are not in a cell in particular, you are in a big open, what almost seems like a cathedral-esque room, and you got dumped right in front of an altar. Make me, I guess, since the two of you went down willingly roll me insight checks 15.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Speaker 1:Well, that's a six Vance vance with your 15. As you were sliding down, you noticed that a ton of like a bunch. As you were going down this slide, there were other slides that were connecting, so there's what you're putting together. Is there's a bunch of these traps throughout this mansion that all lead here. We we're playing Dungeons and Dragons and shoots and ladders Mostly just shoots and stairs. There haven't been any ladders actually. So you make it to the bottom and the three of you get dumped out to what is essentially an altar in front of a large cathedral-looking area.
Speaker 2:Can I roll a religion check?
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's perfect too, because you see your foreskin on the altar.
Speaker 2:I get distracted by that. I got a 10 total.
Speaker 4:It's slowly growing into a new him, a better him.
Speaker 2:I've always wanted to have a brother.
Speaker 3:He's wearing a turtleneck.
Speaker 4:Looks like Steve Jobs.
Speaker 1:No. No he's not, but you could have the iPhone now. That's neat. So you said you got a 10?.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So you see the symbols, you've seen them before, but unfortunately you just can't recall what god or what entity that these follow.
Speaker 4:Actually, that's a good point. Can I roll a history and see if I recognize any of them from any of the stuff I'm carrying or the necklace I'm?
Speaker 1:wearing? Yes, but you'll get different information than if you were a religion, so I don't know what you want to find out.
Speaker 4:I just want to see, because the reason I asked history is because I've been seeing different symbols and I've been trying to connect it to what we originally found in that cave. For sure, still don't know I'm using the thing.
Speaker 1:Honestly, if you're just trying to remember, if these were the symbols that you saw in the cave, then yes, oh, okay, so they are. Not all of them, but some of them. Okay, the main symbol on the altar is not, but the surrounding symbols are.
Speaker 4:There's some infernal magic happening around here, baby All right, some deep shit going on. Is the altar lit? Is there any lighting?
Speaker 1:Yes, there are candles all around you and on the altar it is drenched in blood.
Speaker 2:Oh, I go in, hang on, I can check on Daith.
Speaker 1:Oh hey.
Speaker 3:Are you?
Speaker 4:alright dude, please get off me. No wonder that fall didn't hurt, dude. Why'd you just stay laying in the same spot?
Speaker 3:Because I impacted and then I heard sounds and then this guy was on my face. I just thought you gave up.
Speaker 1:You're like this is me now. This is me. I live here now.
Speaker 3:Two things I'm good at finding traps and pathways.
Speaker 2:Not doing well on either of them.
Speaker 3:No, you found both, that's true, just need to do it a couple seconds earlier.
Speaker 1:Would you like to make any checks for this room?
Speaker 2:Now that the dwarf is off your face, yeah.
Speaker 4:That's a sentence I've wanted to say for a while.
Speaker 3:No, I don't think I have anything that would be beneficial here.
Speaker 1:Okay, if you do want to make a religion or history check, I will give you advantage, since your organization was researching this.
Speaker 3:Oh fair, I was paying attention during those meetings.
Speaker 1:I mean, that's up to you. That's what I say.
Speaker 2:I was paying attention.
Speaker 1:Yeah, 12. With a 12, you recognize the symbol in the middle of the altar. You can't quite remember everything that Karim was saying it does, but you do recognize it as the symbol and you know that it summons a creature.
Speaker 3:Okay, that symbol. They talked about this in the briefing. It does a thing, I don't remember exactly what. No, that's not true. It summons something. What it summons, I don't remember.
Speaker 2:Thank you.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the wizard was supposed to be here for this part. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:That would have been incredibly helpful if your buddies came along, but you do what you can with what you got.
Speaker 1:That's the nicest way to be like. You didn't help us. That was very polite.
Speaker 2:I'm being sincere. It would be nice, but it's like. You do what you can, can't change it now. No use crying over spilt milk. Do our best here.
Speaker 3:Should we scrape all the blood off the altar that way, it's not the hour.
Speaker 4:Before we do that, with all the candles in the room using control flame, can I brighten the room?
Speaker 1:Yes, you can.
Speaker 4:Ooh Once.
Speaker 1:I brighten the room, I want to look around and see if there's any doors or pathways or anything else in this. When you brighten the room and you start to see what is in the rest of this very dark cathedral, you see, I'll just say a lot because it's pews. It's a big cathedral with this altar in front of it. Essentially every pew is filled with these warrior-looking spirits and they all have their head bowed and they're not moving.
Speaker 3:Turn off light.
Speaker 4:Well good thing we came down here, right, this was a good idea, right.
Speaker 1:It was your idea.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I know Not exactly. It was his idea to begin with.
Speaker 1:It wasn't his idea.
Speaker 3:Now you told me that the way this team works is you just let stuff happen to you. That is true. That's what I with. It wasn't his idea.
Speaker 4:It had to do with him. Now you told me that the way this team works is you just let stuff happen to you. That is true. That's what I did. It's a terrible philosophy, it's a terrible philosophy. How many would you say there are?
Speaker 1:What you can see right now is about 10 within the first two rows, but you can't see further back. You cannot even see the back of the room of the room.
Speaker 4:Hmm, hmm, hmm.
Speaker 1:But they have not reacted to you.
Speaker 4:yet what about on the? Is there anything behind the altar on the other side, or is it just a wall?
Speaker 1:Where you fell in is just the back wall with basically a cloak that you guys kind of fell through that has one of the symbols on it draped along that back wall Candles around you, altar, with the main symbol on it covered in blood.
Speaker 4:Huh, you know any cool spells here, ranger.
Speaker 3:Uh, like delete ghost no. Oh, you have that, that'd be great, that'd be dope. What is this? Control alt, delete ghost.
Speaker 4:Uh, no, let's, uh, can you cloak us?
Speaker 3:Oh, I mean I can move us where you want to go Down that aisle.
Speaker 4:Okay, I mean, we don't really have another option. It's either this or go lay Vance on the altar.
Speaker 1:That's it. That's all we do.
Speaker 2:I guess, if that's our only option no questions. I'll probably be heading down this hallway.
Speaker 3:So I'm going to cast on us protection from good and evil. Okay, I don't know, I can't tell.
Speaker 1:Now I know, obviously protection from good and evil protects you from good and evil but what exactly are the? I'm not familiar with what it exactly does. Does it give you a boost to saving throws?
Speaker 4:I also do have a question.
Speaker 2:Is his shoulder sigil going off or my eyes going off at all? No, no.
Speaker 4:That's what I was trying to lean into too. Walk into it, baby, let's see what happens. Yeah, because I thought just getting close to the altar things would go off. Yeah, no, no.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I thought just getting close to the altar things would go off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it gives disadvantage to any creature of those alignments attacking us. Okay, and then it also makes it so that we cannot be charmed or frightened by creatures of good or evil.
Speaker 1:Awesome, okay, good to know, good to know, especially the charm one. What yeah, wink, wink, so you step down to head basically out of this room. Right as you take your first step off that staircase, another row of candles lights up on the outside of the pews, revealing another row of illusions. Your next step reveals another candle with even more illusions, and every step you take seems to be lined with another row of pews and more illusions.
Speaker 3:These guys all have their heads down as we're starting to kind of walk past them, I want to look over my shoulder. What is there? Is it solemn? Yeah behind you.
Speaker 1:Essentially they are in a very stereotypical hands-in and just head down brain as if they were praying. Yes, and these ones are very they look human-esque, so these are not shadowy figures. These look more like people with more of a spectral aura to them, and they all have their heads down and their eyes are closed.
Speaker 1:Let's see and after you make it about halfway down the aisle, you hear from everywhere all at once just the beginning of a maniacal laughter. Oh, oh, is it for a second? I thought you were gonna say something and I was gonna let you finish nope, I just that's not good. Yeah, and all you ears. Oh, gentlemen, it's so nice to have you here For a minute.
Speaker 2:I thought it was going to be that Gorillaz song. The Gorillaz song oh.
Speaker 1:Feel good. She goes. Gentlemen, it is so nice to have you here. Unfortunately, I couldn't get the entire group of you insignificant flies referring to your friends to bring you all to the slaughter at once, but at least I got the three that were going to be the biggest thorn in my side.
Speaker 2:You hear that that's some respect on it.
Speaker 3:That's kind of nice.
Speaker 1:The last thing you hear is the room explodes. No, this is pretty good. And she goes. And it seems like after you made it into my house, you fell into one of my mini traps and here's how this is going to go down. The two of you, and at this moment she appears from the altar that you guys were walking from. So she appears behind you, she goes. The two of you you with the messed up eyes that you somehow got, and you with the strange tattoo, it seems, when you left my realm the last time, you took a percentage of my power with you. So you are going to simply give that back. Or, as heroes like to say, die trying. And you, as heroes like to say, die trying. And you, you're going to be very helpful, you, I'm going to drain every bit of magic out you and open up these little schisms throughout the entire land with just every bit of magic that's in your body.
Speaker 3:I shoot her Just immediately just whack an arrow and go okay, give me a two hit I'm gonna use my um bonus action to turn it into force damage okay, I don't know if that'll make a difference, but they're all ghostly and 20 a 20 to hit, not natural 20.
Speaker 1:Correct, okay, cool. So you take your shot and she was expecting it to just be a normal arrow, so she doesn't even react. She just stands there expecting it to go straight through her. But it hits her right square in the shoulder and it blasts her shoulder back and she looks and she goes oh I see, you're not a fan of monologues and she snaps and at that time every head in all the pews looks up, their eyes open in blazing fire. And that is where we are ending today's session.
Speaker 2:That's fun, all right.
Speaker 3:You guys didn't want to talk to her more did you Not really?
Speaker 1:Okay, All right, so that is the end of this first session in this ethereal realm. Thank you, everybody for joining us. My name is Tyler Waltz and I've been your DM.
Speaker 2:Hi everybody, I'm Tyson Cox. You can find me at TysonCoxComedy. I do stand-up and we're going to be at Gen Con, so make sure to check us out. We're going to have two Monster Monsters, some stand-up shows. It's going to be a really fun, nerdy time, so check us out, Look for the new stuff under Gen Con, and that'll be all our events.
Speaker 4:I've been Brian Petrie. You can find me at everything Brian Petrie Comedy. We run around traveling with these dudes doing live shows, so keep track, follow us online. Yeah, I've been.
Speaker 3:Dolo and I'm Rev. I have been Ranger Daith Garmajan. You can find everything about me at thecritshowpodcastcom, where we do a ton of actual play content.
Speaker 1:We will also be at Gen Con Hell yeah, hell, yeah, nice, all right, and we'll catch you guys in the next episode of Monster Monster. Thank you all so much. Bye.