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Monster Monster
Caravan and Chaos - Ep 6 - Hey There Big Lady!
When a mysterious figure appears among the chaos of a town gathering, nothing is as it seems. The assassination of Zhang plunges the courtyard into madness as shadowy beings begin their assault on the citizens of the town. While others see only soldiers, Vance and Dolomir glimpse the truth - ethereal shadows with deadly cold hands moving through the crowd, turning each victim into one of their own.
Fleeing to Essel's church provides only temporary sanctuary as our heroes discover the terrifying reality: these beings aren't undead creatures that can be turned away by divine power. They're something else entirely, manipulated by a tall woman with extraordinary illusion abilities. "I can be whoever I want to be," she claims, demonstrating her power by transforming into various people before their eyes.
The woman presents our heroes with a chilling choice - surrender themselves to her or watch as everyone in the town perishes. Despite their mistrust, they reluctantly agree, finding themselves transported through a void where time loses all meaning. What follows is an unsettling interrogation where the woman reveals her fascination with their unique ability to see through her illusions, suggesting they possess rare qualities that make them valuable to her mysterious "people."
As pain and confusion mount, both Vance and Dolomir discover something profound within themselves - the power to reject illusions entirely. Vance's connection to divine forces and Dolomir's fey ancestry become their salvation, allowing them to break free and return to Essel's church. But their ordeal has changed them, marked by glowing red eyes before consciousness slips away.
What connection do our heroes share with this powerful illusionist? Who are her "people" seeking strategic footholds? And what does the transformation signified by those red eyes mean for their future? Subscribe now to follow Vance and Dolomir's journey as they face dangers both seen and unseen.
Propaganda does not deceive people. It merely helps them to deceive themselves. Eric Hoffer, Previously on Monster Monster. Our heroes found themselves at the doorsteps of chaos as the vote to join Sol Deus was halted by the king and a mysterious figure. Moments later, Zhang was slain as the crowd grows panicked and heads begin to fall. Welcome to Monster Monster. Hello everybody, my name is Tyler Waltzz and I'll be your dm and to my left hey everybody, I'm tyson cox.
Speaker 3:I'll be playing vance. He's a a cleric. He uh, you know, just wants to walk around and help. But you know, sometimes you gotta hurt a little to help a little yeah, a harm assist type a harm assist and to my right yeah, yeah, I'm Brian Petrie.
Speaker 2:Everybody what's happening? I'm playing Dolan Mir Sedrin. Everybody call me Dolo. I don't do a lot. I grew up in kind of like the slums of Sector 3, or whatever they want to call that place, and I just kind of I got to get by as I get by. You know, get it how you live, figure it out All right, and with that we're going to get started.
Speaker 1:As in the recap, it is now chaos, as shadowy figures begin to appear all over the crowd as Zhang falls to the ground. If I remember correctly, brian, you passed the perception check to actually be able to see these shadows. However, vance, you did not.
Speaker 3:Mm-mm.
Speaker 1:So I need Vance to start this session with a wisdom saving throw.
Speaker 3:Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha A hot four on the die.
Speaker 1:Okay, this is very interesting. I'm very curious how this is going to go out. I need you to take five necrotic damage.
Speaker 3:Am I just getting like poked by stuff?
Speaker 1:I can't see as an icy hand is placed on your back.
Speaker 3:Oh, it's like, it's like your girlfriend when she puts like she's like my feet are cold and then puts your feet on your back, yeah yeah, Except you're dying. Oh, this isn't like a fun goof.
Speaker 1:It's the same date a lady with low iron and poor circulation so, as the hand pushes against your back, it feels very forceful, and then it almost just appears to go inside your back as you feel, the cold now seem to push on the front of your chest.
Speaker 3:I think I'm having a heart attack.
Speaker 1:Now's the time.
Speaker 3:I'm coming.
Speaker 1:Dolomir, I need you to roll the same, but with advantage.
Speaker 2:Hey All right. Roll 15.
Speaker 1:Okay, I was about to say we're celebrating, but we still don't know if you passed.
Speaker 3:No, no, no, just guess, Tyler.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Okay, I was about to say we're celebrating but we still don't know if you passed. No, no, no, just guess Tyler, yeah, okay so you take nine halved. Round it down, because I'm gentle. Because, he likes you. As you start to feel the hand press against your back, you notice in time and turn around to see what looks like a knight completely engulfed in shadows around you. Can I get you guys to roll initiative to see how this plays out?
Speaker 3:Yeah, 11 on the die, so 10. Seven.
Speaker 1:Seven and 10. All righty, so we will actually start with the 10. Wow, you just had some necrotic damage hit you. How do you want to respond? You still don't see anything going on in the crowd Right now. As far as you can tell, sold a, and soldiers are the ones that are slaying people in the crowd.
Speaker 3:So you said I felt necrotic damage, but I can't see anything Correct.
Speaker 1:And there is a pressure now building on your chest, as it feels like something's pushing out.
Speaker 3:I'm going to go ahead and I'm going to like, turn like Constantine, where, uh, I'm just going to hold up my hammer and channel divinity and turn undead. Okay, cool, get off me you damn astards, you damn astards. Bastards, you almost got it out.
Speaker 2:He's cold.
Speaker 1:Bastards. Okay, so when you channel divinity, what exactly does it do?
Speaker 3:DC 12 saving throw DC 12 saving throw.
Speaker 1:What if they're not undead?
Speaker 3:Then nothing oh.
Speaker 1:Nothing noticeable happens, as you still feel the pressure On your chest.
Speaker 3:God damn it.
Speaker 1:Does that take up your whole turn? Shove, roll me a perception. Or arcana, check eight, eight. Okay, you still cannot see these beings, but you see more soldans flood into the crowd these soldans got real cold hands or something dude yeah, dolemir. You see that now the shadows match one for one for each person in the crowd, as more are around the castle. It is now your turn.
Speaker 2:Everybody's cursed. They all curse, like in general. No, everybody's ghosts, I can see them.
Speaker 1:There's also one right behind you.
Speaker 2:There's one behind me.
Speaker 1:You know that one that touched your back thought it was my ex.
Speaker 2:But you know what we're gonna go with. It's a ghost, because I see nothing but ghost. Uh, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm going to, um, how far is away. How far away is the one where he is from me?
Speaker 1:oh, you guys were standing right next.
Speaker 2:Oh, we're right next to each other so the one that touched him is like right there you can literally see its arm. I'm gonna take my meat cleaver and see if I can cut its hand oh, okay, cool, give me a arcana check.
Speaker 1:Hopefully somebody can learn something about these things I.
Speaker 3:yeah, you think I know I am good, I relent.
Speaker 1:Yeah, can you just throw the rocks better on the table that have numbers on them, please? That's a 12. Trying to progress a story here. 12 succeeds, then don't make me roll.
Speaker 3:That's the rule, yeah.
Speaker 1:So the meat cleaver passes completely through the shadow, and though it doesn't look like it did damage, it did sever the connection with Vance. So the cold has now left your chest and the pressure is now gone. What you saw was a Saldayan soldier behind you get his hand cut off.
Speaker 3:Oh, I'm going to just start rocking soldiers. Next turn, just going ham on these bitches.
Speaker 1:It is now the shadow's turn, as the first one gets a 16 on you, vance. Yeah, that'll do it, that'll do it. You're going to take three psychic damage as one takes a swing at Dolomir for a 15. Yeah, he hits and you take five psychic damage. Shit Now, vance. When you get hit, you get to make another perception check. Okay, 17. 17, okay, so you actually start to see behind the illusion. You haven't completely cleared out and seen all of them in the crowd, but in your direct vicinity you can now see that some of these soldiers are actually shadows. Well, this is bad. Good input yeah, people are dying and you're like I don't think this is on the up and up something fishy's going on start.
Speaker 2:start cutting at their feet. You're closer. All right, look out ankles, I'm going to get you. No, seriously, swing at their fucking feet, I will.
Speaker 3:Is it my turn. Yeah we're back up at the top I will I start swinging.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm screaming for my health over here.
Speaker 3:I just do that thing from the Kingsman where it's just chaos is all around, and I'm just gonna start going ham and crushing toes Like the church one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, all right, yeah, make me a couple of attacks.
Speaker 3:I only have one at my level.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, you do 18. Cool, all righty, that definitely hits. Roll me your damage.
Speaker 3:That is gonna be, ooh seven.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, you completely take out the knees on this shadow.
Speaker 3:Yeah gross.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's just a shadow, so it just kind of poofs away and they fall.
Speaker 3:Unsatisfying. Yeah well, Now he's my height.
Speaker 1:I poke him in the eyes Like Cotton from King of the Hill. Yeah, took his shins out, but with that we are now back to you, Dolomir.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what's going on with the one behind me still?
Speaker 1:So the one behind you is the one that took a swing at you with a shadowy sword.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, I'm going to take my meat cleaver, okay, and I'm going to swing directly at his ribs.
Speaker 1:Okay yeah, give me that swing 14. 14. Okay yeah, give me that swing 14. 14. Okay.
Speaker 2:And give me the damage Give me a 10., a 10.
Speaker 1:Okay, so 10 damage. There is no resistance, as this shadow just kind of evaporates. Now I need both of you to roll me perception checks as we get down to the shadow's turn 16. Okay, that's not good.
Speaker 2:That's 10.
Speaker 1:10. All right, vance, you notice that as these shadows are slaying people, they are rising as shadows. Oh, oh, hey, I think we got to get the hell out of here, and the number of shadows is now two to one per person left.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we got to get.
Speaker 2:The hell's going on.
Speaker 3:They just keep multiplying. Everyone they kill comes back as one of them, and they're not undead. They didn't run. I don't know what the hell's going on.
Speaker 2:Where the hell's your lizard friend.
Speaker 3:Didn't he die?
Speaker 1:No, essel's still here, he's fighting.
Speaker 3:Somewhere around here.
Speaker 1:Your character's thoughts are so profound. He's like I say thing.
Speaker 2:Thing in this voice. Grab Essel and let's get the hell out of here.
Speaker 1:Essel was immediately just swinging. However, with your 16, when you turn around, essel is in the same direction as that balcony on the castle. As you look up, you see the leader. You're presuming the leader it was the one that was on the balcony with the king and Zhang Lock eyes with you, tilt her head to the side and just grin, make a wisdom check as she fades through the balcony. 15, 15, okay, yeah, girl.
Speaker 3:Yeah, this was just for veins oh, yeah, yeah, just do that for the next thing. Yeah, yeah, just leave it there.
Speaker 1:As she sinks through the floor, you feel chills running down your spine as you resist the urge to run away.
Speaker 3:Kind of my plan, so that's a weird feeling.
Speaker 1:Well, it's more of like the voluntary you can choose which way to go rather than just panic out. As she suddenly appears in front of the two of you no thank you, how does she appear?
Speaker 3:she appears in front of us in front of you yes no, but I mean like?
Speaker 2:does she materialize? Does she float?
Speaker 1:she appears through the ground. She rises up through the ground and she stands easily two to three feet taller than you and this very ornate dress that just has rippling, almost like the light around it is getting sucked in.
Speaker 2:Oh, a baddie.
Speaker 3:Hey, she grinned at me. I think she likes me. Hey, she grinned at me.
Speaker 1:I think she likes me. She suddenly, in the blink of an eye, raises both hands as she goes to reach for your faces. Make me dexterity saving throws.
Speaker 3:Hey, she's probably going to succeed on me, so you're going to need to. I don't know, pull her off me or something.
Speaker 2:I got 17.
Speaker 3:17?. I did get a very good roll 16.
Speaker 1:Okay, both of you succeed and get out of the way right, as her hands would have passed through your faces. Hmm, you have one turn to react before she strikes again. What would the two of you like to do?
Speaker 3:Grab Essel and go. Do we get?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm gonna dash for the door all right uh, oh you're.
Speaker 1:You're out in an open courtyard oh, we're in an open. Yeah, you're in a courtyard, looking at the castle like balcony. Oh, so you're essentially in the town square yeah, there's nothing we can do, no it's hopeless, we're gonna die yeah, we should get the hell out of here.
Speaker 3:I'm just going to the last scene in the movie the Mist. I'm just going to kill him and then myself yeah right.
Speaker 1:And then she's like I was just making cannolis. I was like what the?
Speaker 2:hell. Is there a clearing, Is there a wall that we can get beyond? That would get us into the safe.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, yeah, there's streets you were in a central courtyard, so you can split down any alleyway. Let's book it.
Speaker 3:Essel, let's get out of here. Turn and run.
Speaker 1:Which direction do you go Now? Just, I guess, as a reminder, to the south was the military quarters, To the east was the gate that you entered when you first arrived here, and to the north is back to Essel's church. Let's head back to the church.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we go north.
Speaker 1:Okay, you split and you run forward. I need both of you to give me just D20 rolls to see what happens as you are pursued.
Speaker 3:Yeah, can we cue the Scooby-Doo bongo?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Fitting 12.
Speaker 1:All right, both of you are able to make it north without getting caught. I need one more roll from you guys. Okay, Ooh eight, eight, okay, cool, 12. 12. Vance, you take a couple of hits as swords appear from the ground striking at your feet. Oh, that was almost max damage twice. So that was seven psychic and six psychic damage. Alright, how you doing bud, bad, bad Okay.
Speaker 2:I'm quick-footing, good to know.
Speaker 3:My plantar fasciitis, oh right in my feet.
Speaker 2:But you're like down here so they're like by your head. Oh yeah, you got hit in the chest. That's why it was so much damage.
Speaker 1:The two of you were able to make it back to the church with Essel and as you close the door and look out the windows, you see the shadowy army quickly approaching. Essel looks at the two of you and goes have you, gentlemen, ever seen anything like this before? What the hell is going on?
Speaker 2:Man, I ain't never seen no shit like this bro.
Speaker 3:No, no, nothing.
Speaker 1:Okay. Were any of you able to hurt them?
Speaker 2:Every time you I don't know if they feel pain, but I know the soldiers die and then you end up with like two or three more of them Hang on.
Speaker 1:What do you mean when that you end up with two or three more of them and I cut old boy hand off.
Speaker 2:His hand came out of his body. It was a ghost hand. And when the ghost hand died, so did two more soldiers. Hands fell off and then two more ghosts show up.
Speaker 1:Uh, roll me an insight check. You can as well vance eight, okay 20.
Speaker 3:Okay, 20, not nat 20.
Speaker 1:Unnat 20. So you can tell that Essel never saw the. He's seeing the soldiers, so what you're?
Speaker 3:trying to explain to him is going right over. He's so lost right now. All right, look, something is happening where a lot of the soldiers, I think, are either being possessed or having like a shadow version of themselves come out. There was this tall lady kind of into her having like a shadow version of themselves come out. There was this tall lady kind of into her. I think she likes me back but like she seems bad news, so like I, it's probably gonna be real fun, but not a healthy relationship, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Anyways, I'm sorry, yeah. Anyways, he's in charge of all these uh uh, uh uh soldiers.
Speaker 1:That actually are shadow people he, he goes, I, I hear what you're saying. And he pulls a little pamphlet out of his back pocket and he says if we make it through this, and it's just for therapy look man, he got a chick that apparently ghosted him.
Speaker 2:She came at him with some frigid hands and he's obsessed. But that's not the point. That's not the point, yeah yeah that's not the point. The point is he got knifed in the chest as we ran away. Did you not see that?
Speaker 1:street swords dude? No, yeah, I saw that, but I just I it just looked like soldiers coming from the alleyways to me look harder next time look deeper, okay, okay I'm just gonna fail, really self-reflect in this moment.
Speaker 2:Yeah, bro, maybe it's your lizard eyes. I don't know, it's a lizard eyes.
Speaker 1:So in that moment the shadows get closer and Essel starts boarding up windows and stuff like that. Do you guys help? How do you guys want to prepare?
Speaker 2:Do we see soldiers coming?
Speaker 1:The two of you now see shadows.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yes, and he sees soldiers he is currently seeing soldiers.
Speaker 1:He did not quite break through and see.
Speaker 3:Do we just get out of the city?
Speaker 2:Question what all's in the church, like, how big is this monastery area?
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, it's very traditional, when you imagine walking into a cathedral with like like a big, open stained glass, big entryway, just big hall, okay, but there's also some doors off to the side. That would be like a dining area and like the living quarters for the priest, which is where you guys found Essel's stuff, and Essel says that there is a hidden compartment in his quarters to get out of here if you cannot defend the church.
Speaker 3:All right, well, let's help board up and then, if we need, we got the skedaddle hole, because there's also a bunch of people.
Speaker 2:I was about to say how many people are in this church. Yeah, because there was people here when we left. Yeah, yeah, there's roughly 10.
Speaker 1:10 people that work at the church? None, not nuns, but the equivalent in dnd world.
Speaker 2:we can't let these people die man they took care of us, so that's what took care of us. We gotta board up and hold them off. How many soldiers or spirits do you say coming?
Speaker 1:at the moment you see about 30 all right, we got this man we're good.
Speaker 2:You are dying.
Speaker 1:You got nothing.
Speaker 2:Tell you what. Organize these people and let's get this place as boarded up as we can. Let's see if we can't find some holding places. He says he's got a crawl space. Let's prep all the people to go into the crawl space and get them out of the city if shit gets too weird.
Speaker 1:Okay, so you start to prep for like an evacuation.
Speaker 3:Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:Who is doing the evacuation? Who is boarding up windows?
Speaker 2:He's dying, I want him getting the people to the.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I'm going to help them out, but before I do that, I'm going to go ahead and cast Cure Wounds on myself.
Speaker 1:Okay, cool, so you get some healing and then you start filtering people out and you stay back with Essel to start boarding up. Is there anything else that you would like to do? You're more than welcome to roll me an insight check.
Speaker 2:Oh, what is that? That's horrible, it's bad, it's real bad, isn't it? That is a unnatural four. An unnatural four.
Speaker 1:An unnatural four. So was it a nat one. Yeah, oh, okay, yeah, you 100% believe that boarding up these windows is going to stop the shadow people. Tight Hell yeah, dude, Tight Essel's doing it because he genuinely is like oh no boards, stop people.
Speaker 2:Vance, vance with an. A. Yeah, do me a favor, look around and see if you can find anything flammable.
Speaker 1:All right, burn in the church to the ground. No, we got an idea though. Okay, we do anything flammable. All right, burn in the church degree.
Speaker 2:We do, I also have this idea and know what it is and agree there's tons of flammable stuff.
Speaker 1:I mean it's a church, so most of the chairs seats pews, yeah like pamphlets for therapy.
Speaker 3:Pamphlets for therapy yeah.
Speaker 1:Pamphlets for therapy. Yeah, essel just gets like so many yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm going to let Essel keep boarding windows, okay, and I'm just going to start throwing anything I see that's flammable outside the front door, like towards the patio. Okay, cool or wherever the porch area is the entrance to the church.
Speaker 1:They get closer. Are you just getting people to the exit? Or are you actually starting to filter people out? I, I think if it's does it appear to be safe outside so you don't know, because it goes underground and north, so you believe it's going to break the north wall of the city all right.
Speaker 3:Um, yeah, I think it's. I mean 30 of them versus the three of us and uh, it's not a good sign. So I think I'm actually I going to shuffle them out.
Speaker 1:Okay, At about this time the first shadows start to appear at the door.
Speaker 2:Nice. Does this church make wine or whiskey or anything like that?
Speaker 1:Kerosene yeah, they would probably have some wine, wine, yeah.
Speaker 3:This is the Church of Our Lady Fireball.
Speaker 2:Yeah that's what I was going to go for the whiskey but wine is not flammable enough, so we're going to start off with me and Essel are just going to, because you can't, oh idea, all right, I found a chair that I was throwing outside. I'm going to break said chair. Okay, take a leg off of it. I'm going to spark it and light it on fire.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Yep, I'm going to throw it like a javelin while it is on fire. At the first one, I see, at the first one, you see At the first shadow. You said there was a starting approach, first one. I see I'm throwing this at him, give me your two hit.
Speaker 1:It is an improvised weapon, so it will use your strength stat.
Speaker 2:Jesus Christ. A three does not hit. Does it no, it does not it soars right by the first one.
Speaker 1:Yes, it does.
Speaker 2:Well, that's always a good noise, yeah well. Best thing I can do at this point is I'm going to dash towards etzel okay yeah and uh, I'm gonna basically grab him and be like I missed. They're coming fast and I'm gonna take his spot of hammering things up okay, yeah, and then what?
Speaker 1:what did you want him to do?
Speaker 2:uh, I'm asking him basically to go try to like, uh, hold them off at the door and see if he can hit one of them, while I finish boarding the last window.
Speaker 1:Okay, cool, you start to filter people out. Are you just pushing them through the tunnel or are you going with them?
Speaker 3:No, I'm just kind of I'll be in after. I'll be in after I got to make sure everyone gets out. So I'm just shuffling them through and then I'll be in after I'll be in after I got to make sure everyone gets out, so I'm just shuffling them through and then I'll be coming back into the church.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what would you like to do before the first ones begin to try and breach? I thought you said one already made it in, One was like at the door which is now Essel is engaged with.
Speaker 3:Cool. Can I hit him with?
Speaker 1:Sacred Flames. Yeah, yeah, give me a. It's a dexterity saving, throw on mine.
Speaker 3:Yep 12 or more 14 on the die.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's how it works. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Don't have to like pause dramatically, oh baby.
Speaker 1:I dodged it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I didn't. The Shadow did. I have no beef personally with you. I didn't write this to TPK.
Speaker 1:start over yeah right, just a personal vendetta, we've all but like I don't know if you've played long enough, you've had that guy. That's like, oh and uh, a meteor hits you, yep, but okay, that was thrilling. Yeah, what a good time we all just had. Yep. As essel engages with the first one, he uses his sword and cleaves a couple in half, but you notice that as they approach the door they aren't violently coming in, but they are surrounding and as they surround, you see the tall, shadowy woman up here in the front and she goes. Gentlemen, there's quite a simple option here. The two of you and she points to you two seem to be a bit more attuned to this world. You have a simple choice you can either die here or you can come with me. And if you come with me, all of these peasants or whatever people, whatever you want to call them, will be fine. I just want you two.
Speaker 3:I told you she liked me.
Speaker 2:Stop looking at her like that, she goes.
Speaker 1:I am uncomfortable.
Speaker 2:Are the people in the tunnel already? Yes, everybody in the tunnel, except for Essel.
Speaker 1:It is the three of you. Essel in the middle because he engaged the first couple.
Speaker 2:What kind of dragonborn is Essel Red? So he's got some fire breath, he does. He does Vince with an A. I know you want to go with her. It doesn't sound like a good idea. It sounds like she wants something inside of us.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, and not in a good way. No, no, no, no. My college years are behind me.
Speaker 1:I thought you were going to be like well, I wanted something inside her. I left that on the table. I didn't want to.
Speaker 3:But I mean, I think we got everyone out. We could probably slip out the back because we got everyone to accept.
Speaker 1:She goes. This is interesting that you're talking about this out loud.
Speaker 3:I mean, it's quietly Shut up.
Speaker 2:No, if she's got the building surrounded, she's definitely going to be able to get to us in the tunnel. I'm sure let's say we go with her and then maybe not. I think that's a good idea.
Speaker 3:I don't think lies are a good thing to build a relationship on.
Speaker 2:I think she's standing right fucking there this is like I thought.
Speaker 1:Maybe you guys, I can hear you. Sorry, you didn't even say you like whispered or nothing. You just started talking to each other like I just don't exist.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I have object permanence issues. Oh yeah, I have CTE, pretty bad Check this out. Whoa.
Speaker 1:And then she pops back up. Boo, I thought.
Speaker 3:I defeated her for a second because she was gone.
Speaker 2:She clearly has some sort of high-level magic. Can I roll Arcana to see if I can figure out what it is? Yeah, of course.
Speaker 1:As you guys kind of talk amongst yourselves, she goes Gentlemen, I'm losing my patience, I got a 17. Okay, you can tell that the type of magic that she is using is illusion magic and it is off the charts. It's literally warping light around her dude.
Speaker 2:Look, I didn't trick some people in my past but you, man, you are catfishing the hell out of everybody in this room right now who are you really? Because I'll go with you but I feel like you lying to me she goes oh, who am I?
Speaker 1:I would I would say that entirely depends on the situation. I can be whoever I want to be. And she snaps her fingers and she becomes asshole. And then she snaps her fingers again and she becomes the king. And she snaps her fingers again. Kat Dennings, kat Dennings, kat Dennings.
Speaker 2:Kat. Dennings Kat Dennings Kat Dennings as she snaps her fingers and becomes Z Kat Dennings.
Speaker 3:Kat Dennings, kat Dennings, kat Dennings, kat Dennings, kat Dennings, as she snaps her fingers and becomes Zang and she goes.
Speaker 1:I can be anybody. I think the question right now is who did the two of you want to be? Do you want to be an obstacle or do you want to be a part of something greater? As?
Speaker 2:she grins there is no defeatingins. Ah, there is no defeating her.
Speaker 3:No. And there is no walking away, hang on.
Speaker 2:Earmuffs.
Speaker 3:Earmuffs.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, yeah, of course.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:This is definitely not irritating the shit out of me.
Speaker 3:I think we gotta go with her.
Speaker 2:We don't have a choice. Yeah, it's not really much of a choice, unless you want another one of those cold hands or those things. No, no, no, no, no, no. How does Essel.
Speaker 1:Feel about this. Essel is essentially slowly, like in the meantime, because she's talking to you. He has been falling back slowly into the church.
Speaker 3:Just Homer Simpson into the bush. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Not abandoning you guys, but he can clearly suss out that she wants you to. She doesn't give a shit about him, which could be bad for everybody, so he's safeguarding himself to be able to run to protect his people.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:In case, because she could be lying. She could be lying about.
Speaker 2:Oh, she's 100% lying. She's lying about everything. I know your type, ma'am, I believed her. I know you type, ma'am, I believed her, I know you did.
Speaker 1:I don't trust you, so you don't believe that I will keep all those people alive.
Speaker 2:No, I believe that you could be anyone and everyone, but I don't believe you like being who you really are.
Speaker 3:I'd hand her one of those pamphlets.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you solved my deep trauma riddle. No, I don't think it's a deep riddle.
Speaker 2:I think it's very surface level, as you shapeshift to anyone who you want, so you can show off your power. But what is this whole part of something greater?
Speaker 1:Oh, she turns back into her original form and she goes I don't change into who I want, I change into who I need to be.
Speaker 3:I dated someone like that. It's exhausting. You keep talking like something's going to be. I dated someone like that.
Speaker 1:It's exhausting. You keep talking like something's going to happen. It's called the secret. I'm manifesting it. Roll me for Riz, when a joke roll hits reality too hard.
Speaker 2:That's a lot of matter.
Speaker 3:That's a lot of matter. I got a real life version of what would happen. You go to say I won't punish reality too hard. Oh, that's a lot of meta. That one yeah, that's a lot of meta. I got a real life version of what would happen.
Speaker 1:You go to say I won't punish you too hard, you just like fart loud. It's just like it's like listen Swoop.
Speaker 3:It's like I think we're going to go with her.
Speaker 2:Where are we going?
Speaker 1:Okay, so you guys are deciding to go with her. We have no choice.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it doesn't really feel like we have an option.
Speaker 2:There's always an option. There's always an option, but I don't want to die today.
Speaker 1:Okay, not today, not today so she goes oh, so you'll be joining me, then when are we going? Oh well, that doesn't really matter.
Speaker 2:You said we could go with you, correct?
Speaker 1:And you have no idea where we're going. No, I know where we're going, but why doesn't it matter to us?
Speaker 2:what we want to know, where we're going.
Speaker 1:Let's just say the place that we're going is not possible for you to know, it's not possible for me, it's not possible for me to understand what is or it's not on a map and, as soon as you agree, she approaches and she does what she originally tried to do forcefully, where she puts her hands on your face as all three of you sink into the ground.
Speaker 3:I don't like this.
Speaker 1:Both of you make wisdom saving throws, as the coldest you've ever felt goes across your entire body 18. 16.
Speaker 2:Okay, so both of you succeed and will only take half damage, this 16.
Speaker 1:Okay, so both of you succeed and will only take half damage. This cab sucks. It does, so you'll take two more necrotic damage. So as you sink into the ground, neither one of you can see anything. It's not like you're seeing dark, but you literally see nothing around you.
Speaker 2:See, this is what happens when you trust them.
Speaker 1:You guys can't hear each other. You guys try and talk and it goes into a void.
Speaker 3:That's good for the audio podcast yeah, Hang on.
Speaker 2:Just let me fucking narrate.
Speaker 1:How about? Okay, you want a different narration. You write a ding, dang show, just get real hostile you know what?
Speaker 1:I think this is the last episode, as the darkness and the void take over your bodies. The two of you can't tell whether it's been a minute, an hour, whether it's been days or weeks, but after an undetermined amount of time you start to see little specks of light appear around you. As suddenly, these specks of light collapse in on you and you appear in what looks like a jail cell. The two of you are not together, but you could hear many people around you. Roll me insight checks.
Speaker 3:I'm like, oh no, I got in on my mushrooms again, didn't I?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, Just in the void, you're just like. I'm sure this won't give me horrendous hallucinations.
Speaker 3:You'll be able to find me because my terrible bubble guts.
Speaker 1:No, you can't torture that information.
Speaker 3:Bad to me I oh my god, I would love to see that in like a comedy sketch where the guy's like trying to torture somebody, but the other dude's just ripping farting rancid. So the guy's like he's like I will get you oh my god oh my God, you're nasty dude 15.
Speaker 1:14. 15 and 14. Both of you succeed. And you hear the cries of tormented people all throughout this hallway, just people crying out for help as they seem to be enduring a ton of pain. And at that time you just hear metal clanging, just one at a time, just ting, ting, and it's getting closer and closer and what turns the corner is what can only be described as a horrendous chimera beast Right do I have all my equipment on still?
Speaker 2:no ah beans?
Speaker 1:have we been wiped of all our equipment?
Speaker 3:yes, you are essentially just in commoner clothes at the moment I look around to see if let me solo her is around just a guy with a pot standing in the corner, just like you.
Speaker 2:Just gotta say something I'll be here and we're all in individual cells. Yes, I'm going to just straight Bruce Lee it. I'm going to sit down cross-legged and meditate.
Speaker 1:Oh, I'm sorry, I should have been a bit more specific. You guys are literally like strapped down arms out.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, that makes a difference. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we're chained to a wall.
Speaker 3:No, like a table.
Speaker 1:A table A table that's leaned back, almost like you're at the doctor's office in one of those leaning chairs except you're just arms out strapped like 45 degree angle.
Speaker 3:Well, I'd like to try to rip the straps off, okay.
Speaker 1:Give me an intelligence. Oh, what Check.
Speaker 3:Can I do strength?
Speaker 1:No, it's almost like the lady that has completely enveloped her world in illusions. It's a mind game. Eleven, okay, you do feel some give in it as the creature approaches.
Speaker 2:Huh.
Speaker 1:Dolomir, do you have any initial reactions?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I realize I'm chained, I realize what happened and I realize I lost track of time and I've done these drugs before.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right so.
Speaker 2:I close my eyes and I decide to meditate and focus on my Feywild ancestry and see if I can see my way out.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, cool, Is that a class ability?
Speaker 2:Yes, well, it's a race ability, a race ability, yeah, I can just meditate and.
Speaker 1:I can try to prevent being charmed Gotcha. How long does that take?
Speaker 2:That is, I can do it once per long rest.
Speaker 1:Gotcha. But there's no time associated. It doesn't say 30 minutes, no, it's just wisdom saving Gotcha, like time associated. It doesn't say 30 minutes, it doesn't say wisdom saving gotcha.
Speaker 1:As you try to break free and as you begin to meditate, the creature gets closer, as you notice that out of the palm of its hands, blades are sticking out as it sharpens them and clings them together, and as you meditate and as you desperately try and get free, it just starts dragging it up and down and across your chest, leaving little bitty cuts as she Is he dual wielding.
Speaker 3:He's getting us both, or just me?
Speaker 1:No, no, no. This is both happening to you guys, so you're both seeing and experiencing the same thing though you're not together, as she appears in front of both of you now from your guys' perspective. You don't know that this is happening to each other, right? But clearly, from a narrative perspective, you are both experiencing this at the same time.
Speaker 1:As she goes. I just have one simple question. How is it that you saw me? And that is to both of you. We do vance first and then we'll go to dolomir I, I don't know, I don't even know what you are.
Speaker 1:The uh, chimera creature slowly pushes the blade a little bit more onto your shoulder and she goes. I feel like you are telling me the truth, or. And then she kind of pauses for a second, she goes. It is very possible, and she's just kind of mumbling to herself that he? All right, I believe you. And she begins to leave. All right, I believe you. And she begins to leave.
Speaker 2:Dolomir, how do you respond? I didn't see you.
Speaker 1:I felt you, is this an ability that you were born with? Is this something that you found? No, you just feel creepy.
Speaker 2:You come around with that attitude and I just pick up on it. You got a vibe.
Speaker 1:She's like oh, thanks.
Speaker 2:It's definitely not what I was going for. No, I'd have popped my balloon.
Speaker 1:And she goes. The many years that I have been doing things like this, there's only been a handful of people that have been able to detect my presence or see through the illusions that I create amongst this world. And it's fascinating that two random individuals in the middle of this little town just outside of Sol Deus, a place that I desperately needed and you two arrive I'm not one to really believe in coincidence, as the chimera pushes his blade into your side and you take four psychic damage.
Speaker 2:Well, why are you tricking people? What's the point? What do you gain out of everything you're doing?
Speaker 1:Well, what I gain is a strategic foothold for, let's just say, my people.
Speaker 2:Who are your people? What do you mean by your people?
Speaker 1:That is none of your concern. I'm just simply here to find out how two what seemingly seems as mundane individuals are able to witness magic on this scale.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, you're showing it off. Y'all want nobody to look at it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we cut back to Vance and you have just been through what seems like an eternity of pain, as this chimera just toys with you over time.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I guess we cut back, like Vance is just talking, he's like I know you're probably not listening. You're real busy up there but, anything would help would be great, just like a prayer, not prayer. And you're reaching out to, just reaching out to.
Speaker 1:Just reaching out. Okay, give me a. Hmm, this is an interesting one, because you, as a cleric, do have an ability. Are you using your specific cleric ability, or is this more of just dialogue?
Speaker 3:I don't think I have that, the channel divinity, yet I have divine spark and turn undead.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, so you don't have the ability yet. Correct.
Speaker 3:So I'm just like reaching out, okay.
Speaker 1:As you reach out, it seems like a swelling begins in your chest, where you start to feel very empowered. Give me a wisdom check with advantage right now 18, 18.
Speaker 3:Okay, two on the first one, so thank god yeah yeah, we'll get back to you in just a second.
Speaker 1:Remember that 18. Okay, dolamir, she questions you for a little bit longer, as you have also been getting just toyed with by this horrendous creature and I'm assuming you're trying to keep your meditative state as these questions and stuff are going on, to kind of build up on on that fey ability I want an advantage.
Speaker 2:roll, yeah, not to get meta.
Speaker 1:And I need you to also give me a wisdom saving, well, a wisdom check, with advantage right now Unnatural 21. It would have been wild if it was a natural 21. Right.
Speaker 2:And I got a D20. I'd have been boy talk about illusions. Just a Sharpie.
Speaker 3:Oh man, this dice doesn't have a 2, but it does have a 21. Yeah right, have you guys seen the gambler's dice?
Speaker 1:It's got 3 1's and 3 20's On it so the 1, 2 and 3 are all 1's and the 20, 19 and 18 are 20's. I like it. I've thought about getting one for like certain scenarios, but I just found out about that yesterday.
Speaker 1:Anyway, back at it. You see the way out. And the way out isn't physically walking out that door, but it is completely shutting out what you believe these illusions are. And that is the wisdom that you, vance, have been granted by this being that speaks to you in a deep tone and says well, you can just get out whenever you want. You just have to believe that you are more powerful than these illusions. Oh cool, I just get up, you just get up.
Speaker 3:Okay, it's easy, all right, all right.
Speaker 1:As soon as you feel that divine power swelling through you, your hands completely pass through the shackles and Dolomir. The moment that your fate ancestry kicks in and that pulse of just sheer energy surges through you, your hands pass through as well. And the moment that they pass through those shackles, all that light that imploded on you to begin with to create disillusion explodes out. Your body as the chimera is destroyed and this we don't know her name yet, but this spiritual entity that has been questioning you screams in pain and disappears. And both of you wake up in Essel's church with glowing, bright red eyes and, in a moment of clarity where you realize you're back, you pass out, and that is where we're ending this session you're starting to get good at this.
Speaker 3:I'm trying. Who's my dog? Well, that has been episode 6 of the monster monster podcast. You're starting to get good at this. I'm trying. What about dog?
Speaker 1:Well, that has been episode six of the Monster Monster podcast. My name is Tyler. I've been your DM. Thank you all for listening and I'm just going to pass it on to Tyson.
Speaker 3:Hey, I'm Tyson Cox. Thanks for listening. You can find me everywhere at Tyson Cox Comedy. If you enjoyed this podcast, tell a friend, leave a review, all those little things.
Speaker 2:They help more than you are aware of. Oh yeah, and I'm Dolomir Sedrin, aka Brian Petrie. You can find me at all things, at Brian Petrie Comedy, on all the stuff. I'm always somewhere near you. Just holler at me if you want me closer.
Speaker 1:All right, no-transcript.