Monster Monster
Welcome to Monster Monster! A live play table top role playing game podcast! We are currently running our second season of D&D 5th edition
Monster Monster
Caravans and Chaos- EP 7 - Live Laugh Lurk
Awakening with burning eyes and strange new powers, Vance and Dolo find themselves back in the church with Essel as the town around them erupts in flames. What started as a mysterious encounter with shadow creatures has transformed into a desperate evacuation mission as they help townsfolk escape through tunnels beneath the sanctuary.
Vance discovers his eyes now glow red when illusions are nearby, allowing him to identify shadow creatures disguised as ordinary people. The recurring declaration that "that baby ain't real" becomes his warning call as he spots imposters among the refugees. Meanwhile, Dolo bears a mysterious symbol on his shoulder, granting him access to magical abilities he never possessed before. Together, they navigate the chaos while piecing together the fragments of their strange experience.
As flames consume the town, Essel reveals their potential destination—Kerr Hill, a notorious smuggling town where anyone with enough coin can find passage anywhere. Before parting ways, he gifts them a magical communication stone, cementing a connection that suggests their paths may cross again. The episode culminates in a thrilling escape sequence as shadow creatures launch attacks on their departing cart, and a chilling voice reminds them that their mysterious adversary hasn't given permission for them to leave.
What awaits our heroes on the road to Kerr Hill? Will they discover the true nature of their new abilities, and what connection do they have to the shadowy woman who seems to control these illusions? Subscribe now and join Vance and Dolo on their journey through a world where nothing is quite what it seems.
All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered. The point is to discover them. Galileo Last time on Monster, monster. In the madness of the crowd, our heroes, along with Essel, made a hasty retreat back to the church where the mysterious figure had cornered them and took them to a new reality, where they were introduced to a horror they didn't even know existed before getting propelled back into the church. I was having a very hard time summing up the last episode because a lot happened.
Speaker 1:Welcome to Monster, monster, everybody. My name is Tyler Waltz and I am your DM and, as always, to my left.
Speaker 3:Hello, I am Tyson Cox. I'm playing Vance Ironside. Cleric, good man, lovesick, fool for that new hot lead.
Speaker 1:Giant woman. The funny thing is I didn't even really describe her other than wearing a shadowy cloak and Tyson's like mmm.
Speaker 2:It didn't matter what she looked like, it's how she made him feel. What are you, shallow Vance?
Speaker 3:is old, vance has had a life. No, what are you shallow? Vance is old, vance has had a life.
Speaker 1:No, what are you desperate? Yes, he is.
Speaker 2:Hey.
Speaker 3:I've lived a life I've learned it's not just about looks.
Speaker 1:She made me feel cold on the inside, but I felt that's the important thing Also, the person that made you feel cold on the inside was a random shadow man behind you, not her. Well, potato, potato At first, and then she did make you feel cold. Yeah, see.
Speaker 3:All right, spud stood.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And to my right.
Speaker 2:Oh, I am Dolan Mir Sedren. Everybody calls me Dolo. My real name is Brian Petrie. You can find me at all things at Brian Petrie Comedy.
Speaker 1:We're going to pick up right where we left off, with the two of you briefly appearing in the church, seeing Essel in front of you, very confused as your eyes burn, and then you pass out and fall to the ground. Some moments later, the two of you wake up and Vance. Your eyes continue to glow but, dolo, your eyes seem to have faded out as the red glow appears as a symbol on your right shoulder.
Speaker 2:Man, I've been high in my day, but I've never had my red eyes turn into red shoulder. What did we do? Where were we? Was that South Dakota? South Dakota?
Speaker 1:I've never been to South.
Speaker 3:Dakota, but there's no way. Like you said, you've never been there.
Speaker 2:How would you know?
Speaker 3:No no no, that place wasn't as bad as South Dakota.
Speaker 1:So you're saying, in this fantasy world that I made up, there's a South.
Speaker 3:Dakota and it's terrible.
Speaker 2:It's underneath North Dakota.
Speaker 1:I don't know what you want me to tell you, oh man, so the two of you have gained abilities and also leveled up For the listeners. Now you're a level five cleric.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:What new things did you get?
Speaker 3:I picked up a couple of spells. I increased my wisdom because that felt appropriate after mind flexing out of jail. But yeah, I just picked up healing stuff, more or less. So I picked up some spells. I won't tell you what they are so you can't plan around them.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's fine, I'll just prepare for all the ways you can die. And Dolo, you were a monk.
Speaker 2:I guess you are still a monk. I am still a monk. You didn't just suddenly become something different. I just stopped doing this shit. You know what I'm saying. If anything, I did it even more. My meditation brought me to a place that I had never seen in my past, and so, in leveling up, I gained a few spells as I followed an ancient ancestor who was a wizard. Okay, yeah, I've bought that into myself.
Speaker 1:All right, Vance. When you pass out and as you start to come back to consciousness, you get flashbacks to your hometown many years ago, I guess four-ish years ago. I said many like it was decades About four years ago, before this entire war popped off and all around you you just feel the heat of the flames that night as the screams bring you back to a much more simpler time before it all came crashing down. What was that experience to vance, and what do you see right now?
Speaker 3:it was like chaos and, like you see, like a dour look, uh just kind of creep over vance's face. Like his, his general warmth seems to be like sucked out just at the thought of this memory. Like his, like his skin even seems like a little bit more pallid, like sallow and gray, and he just thinks back to uh, just kind of in a similar situation, just like fortifying a church like his church, and trying to have all the people, like trying to save as many people as he can, including his family so as, as you were trying to fortify, give me a, I guess, retroactive insight check as you reflect on these memories.
Speaker 1:21. Your eyes start to burn, almost like you had this ability.
Speaker 3:Oh, I'm sorry 24.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, because that changes so much. You actually teleport to the past and you can change things Wow.
Speaker 3:What a plot twist. I just start pantsing people. I just want to see where this leads.
Speaker 1:People are dying and you're like he, he, he.
Speaker 3:Psychopath.
Speaker 1:And you don't remember having this feeling in the moment, but it's almost like you are personally re-experiencing this past, as your eyes begin to burn and who you thought were soldiers and mercenaries marauding through your town slowly start to bend light around them, as you are suddenly brought back to the land of the living. And that is essentially a sneak peek at your new ability, which is Eyes of Shadow, where, any time you are within 30 feet of one of these illusions that you have discovered, your eyes will begin to glow and slightly burn, alerting you to their presence.
Speaker 3:Oh, it's so like they cut onions.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's what I get. It's almost like pink eye. This ability has some draw onions. Yeah, that's what I get. It's almost like pink eye.
Speaker 3:Yeah, this ability has some drawbacks.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:So they do turn red.
Speaker 1:They do turn red. Yes, not like the whites of the eyes, but literally the pupils begin to become a fiery red Dolo.
Speaker 1:You go back to those days as a child just trying to survive, pickpocketing, stealing little knickknacks to put in your cart. And that day comes where those people show up because they heard a rumor that there was something special in this cart. And you are transported to that moment, laying on the ground as they are just punching and kicking you. And in that moment, how do you reflect on what you are experiencing? Almost as if your current body has been put back in that moment.
Speaker 2:In that moment I want to try to get a good look at their faces.
Speaker 1:Okay, as you are getting beat up, you are able to look up and what you thought was just a group of bandits trying to get their bag right, you start to notice get their bag.
Speaker 2:I don't know, I don't know, bag baby trying to get that bag it just came out.
Speaker 1:I don't know well, I guess we'll roll that back. You made me self-conscious about it, dolo. As you look up, as these, what you thought were marauders or bandits are just beating you up to try and and get your goods for to resell and just survive on, you notice that as their clothes are going back and forth a bit looser than what you'd expect, you see a Saldan soldier emblem behind one of the vests, as suddenly they are running off with your things and you flash back to the land of the living, just like Vance. And in that moment, where they were kicking you on, the upper part of your body starts to glow and burn a little bit, as a symbol appears on your right shoulder what's the symbol?
Speaker 1:look like the symbol basically looks like a helmet that could look like it's being enveloped in flames, but it's actually shadow with light appearing around it. The two of you look at each other and then look forward to see Essel just completely beside himself. What do you say?
Speaker 2:dude, were you there?
Speaker 3:did they get out?
Speaker 2:did you? Were you there?
Speaker 1:he looks at the two of you and then he kind of looks behind him, and then he looks of looks behind him, and then he looks back at you and he goes what do you mean? Did everybody get out Everything?
Speaker 3:disappeared and now you're behind me. Yeah, I loaded everyone out the back. Did everyone get out?
Speaker 1:And he goes. No, I don't think you understand Roll insight checks.
Speaker 2:Nope Perception is 18.
Speaker 1:All the doors and windows, everything is still boarded up. You can tell that no time has passed. In reality, it was literally. You blinked out and in a split moment blinked back in. You're just in the church now instead of right out front. You see Essel standing in the doorway, exactly where he was the last thing you remember.
Speaker 2:Where are the spirits?
Speaker 1:Gone.
Speaker 2:Gone. Ladies gone, soldiers gone.
Speaker 1:Everything gone.
Speaker 2:as you look out the front door of the church, you see flames in the distance I run past essel and I and I like run out to the opening of the church and I just start looking around trying to see if I see anybody or anything gotcha with a nat one, vance vance with a nat one.
Speaker 1:You are still trying to like if I see anybody or anything. Gotcha With a nat one, vance Vance with a nat one. You are still trying to get your bearings and you just don't understand. You don't know whether it's been a year, you don't know whether it's been a day, you have no concept of time. Right now you are just as confused as Essel, and in that moment Dolo runs out the front door.
Speaker 3:Oh what the All right. That moment dolo runs out the front door. Oh what the all right, okay, uh.
Speaker 1:And I kind of get up and I just scramble after him. I guess, okay dolo, as you break into the outside light you see fire off in the distance enveloping this whole town. It seems as though, since it didn't quite go as she expected, she decided that there was going to be a different news article in the morning.
Speaker 2:So she's burning down the town? She has, oh, it's already burning.
Speaker 1:It's already burning, you are like almost like a flash fire, Like you. Just it's incomprehensible to these people in this town what the hell has happened over the course of like an hour.
Speaker 2:Are people fleeing the town?
Speaker 1:Absolutely, and some of the like men and soldiers have grabbed buckets to start trying to douse the flame as best they can.
Speaker 2:Soldarian soldiers or like.
Speaker 1:Both it's Soldius soldiers, but it's also the local guard as well that kind of took a backseat once Soldeus got here.
Speaker 2:I run back to the church. I was outside looking around. I notice all I see the people, the calamity. I just run up to Essel and I say just open the doors and start letting people in. Save who you can Cool.
Speaker 1:He's still trying to comprehend everything that's going on. He goes oh, oh, yes, of course, and he opens up the door and you see a bunch of people running around, um, and he just starts ushering them in. What would you guys like to do? Would you like to stay here, kind of get your footing? Do you want to go back into the town to see what's going on? I?
Speaker 3:would probably just start shuffling people in towards the church and telling them there's a way out through the tunnels, out the back.
Speaker 1:Okay, cool. Now what you notice is that she told the truth. Everything around you is burning, but not the church.
Speaker 3:Oh, thank God, she's an honest asshole.
Speaker 1:I mean, hey, she told the honest asshole. I mean, hey, she told the truth she did. She did.
Speaker 2:Not every I would assume not everyone is running towards the church. Some people are.
Speaker 1:No, there's a lot of people that are just simply trying to save what they have.
Speaker 3:As we run towards the city. I'd like to just use thaumaturgy to make my voice really big.
Speaker 1:Proceed through the church. They can get you out the back, back back. Every time you say it, you can tell that it is reaching people. Um, a lot of them do decide to stay and try and put out the fire and save their belongings, but a lot of the people that have clearly lost most of their stuff or are more concerned with, like, their safety, a lot of women and children, start making their way to the church, I start running towards the houses that look like they aren't completely burned down yet, and I'm using control flame to snuff them.
Speaker 1:You are keeping it from spreading while it's getting dampened down. How far back into town do you go? Are you just trying to control the area around the church.
Speaker 2:I'm just trying to get an idea of what the hell was happening, I think. And then as we're there. I think it's very clear we can't save the town.
Speaker 1:Yeah, as you enter back to where the town square was Vance, your eyes begin to get scratchy and burn a little bit.
Speaker 3:There's smoke, all right.
Speaker 1:You lose your ability, fuck you as your eyes begin to glow red and you don't exactly know where they are. But you're getting little glimpses like they're fading in and out of your radius. They're always just kind of around. They're not hurting anybody because people are just scrambling, but they've managed to like they're keeping tabs on people. They're acting like and you can't quite decipher who yet. But you know that there are still shadows present.
Speaker 3:I think we're being watched.
Speaker 2:How do you figure?
Speaker 3:I got a feeling I can kind of see them.
Speaker 2:You're still thinking about that lady, aren't you?
Speaker 3:No. A little bit. Yeah, all right.
Speaker 2:Well, if you see them, I'll believe you when you see them at, where are they? Point them out?
Speaker 3:It's just arm waves Roll.
Speaker 1:Perception with advantage. Perception 18. Okay, they are not harming people and are actually in the process of putting out the fire, but there's only one or two in this huge mass. They are literally just there to keep tabs. But, now you have been able to point them out.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm like there over there. They're just looking, they're just lurking, Just looking and lurking.
Speaker 2:Just waiting.
Speaker 3:Like a creep.
Speaker 1:All right, just two people, just being like man.
Speaker 2:Look at them. One, all right, it's just two people just being like man. Look at him, one of those types. Not even doing anything, he's just standing there Menacingly.
Speaker 1:At about this time. The fire seems to be engulfing more than what most people can manage. A lot around the church has been able to get like dampened out and that sector seems to be the least harmed, but it seems like most people have completely lost everything. Amongst this crowd vance, you see a familiar face in all of this chaos trying to put out the flames, and it's av, the human soldier that was originally talking to Zang when you first appeared in the city. So a brief recap on Av she was a Soldean soldier that was talking to Zang about not understanding why the other soldiers and everything that has been going on is so opposite of normal Soldaldan culture and procedure and was working with Zeng to do an investigation on what was going on in the town, right.
Speaker 1:So she is not a Saldan soldier. That is okay with everything that's going on.
Speaker 3:Hey, what the hell's going on.
Speaker 1:She turns around and she goes. Oh, and she's just happy to see, like a familiar face, and she is like you could tell that she's been like sloppy, crying, just like completely distraught with everything that's going on. She approaches and she goes where the hell did you go? Zhangang is dead and there's so much fire and so many of my, and she's just completely just maniacally babbling, not being able to comprehend everything that's just happening right now.
Speaker 2:Why does every woman you know either crying or completely evil?
Speaker 3:It's a vibe.
Speaker 1:In Vance's defense. She was completely normal and cool until this sudden trauma happened.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that sudden trauma seemed to have occurred right after she met him.
Speaker 1:Technically for a one.
Speaker 3:I kind of grab her by the hands because I'm small.
Speaker 1:I just kind of grab her the hands, because I'm small, I just kind of grab her, hey, hey, hey, hey, it's going to be okay. It's going to be okay, up ease.
Speaker 2:Up ease. Hey, hey, hey.
Speaker 3:It's going to be okay, just get to the church.
Speaker 1:Okay, I can do that. What happened? Why were my own men turning against? That's not who we are. That's not what we do.
Speaker 3:I couldn't tell you there's a lady full of shadows. It could have been a trick, it could have been manipulation, but right now just get to the church.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'll see you there soon. And she starts heading towards the church. Is there?
Speaker 3:anything else that you guys want to scope out in town before going back to the church? I don't really think so, because it seems like everything's just just pooched. You know, it's, everything's on fire, cool. It doesn't seem to be like we're not gonna be able to stop by.
Speaker 2:People just stand in the corner, be like hello npc yeah, I want to grab a random townsperson, okay, and say, hey, just shake them no, I'm gonna just grab them by the shoulder and just say hey, if you're not going to church, where is?
Speaker 1:everyone else going. Well, we're just trying to escape the flames. We figured anywhere is better than where the fire is. We genuinely don't know where is safe right now. Way out through the back of the church Way out through the back of the church. All right, so you just keep filtering people to the back of the church? I guess this is more of a moment for you guys to go back to places that you had visited in town, like the Furbolg store.
Speaker 3:You're right we should loot that old man's store.
Speaker 2:We should loot anything that's just completely burnt, we should go through and grab shit.
Speaker 1:If you do want to go back to the church, then we can just go ahead and progress to the church.
Speaker 2:How far away is the store?
Speaker 1:The store. It was right at the entrance on the east side of town. Is there like a?
Speaker 2:blacksmith shop nearby.
Speaker 1:No, there's not really a blacksmith shop nearby. This is a pretty small town just outside of Sol Deus, so it's more of like a passerby town. This is where you go to kind of get.
Speaker 2:Somewhere else Does the tavern burn down?
Speaker 1:The tavern is engulfed in flames right now.
Speaker 2:yes, yeah yeah, I say if the store is on fire, too likely, isn't it? Yeah yeah, you need anything or want anything out of that store.
Speaker 3:No, not really. I hope old boy's okay.
Speaker 2:Are there any like carts or anything like that's not on fire, like a wooden wheel cart or like a pullback cart?
Speaker 1:My cart.
Speaker 3:It's almost like I was trying to get you to remember things I was trying to yeah, go get my cart. Oh, beans and biscuits, I forgot.
Speaker 2:I gotta go get this cart that I've made a big deal about several times when all our shit is, where all of our stuff is at.
Speaker 1:I felt like I was doing a pretty good job of like is there anything?
Speaker 3:else you want to look for or remember in the town. I want to go to the stable so I can bully a child just doing their job Callback, callback.
Speaker 2:So where is the cart?
Speaker 1:exactly, it is at the east side entrance.
Speaker 2:Okay by the store. Yes, yes, okay. So I didn't want to go to the store if the cart wasn't at the store. Okay.
Speaker 1:Right, so you head over to the cart and on the edges of town the fire hasn't quite spread yet. So you do see a lot of the stable hands desperately trying to get like the horses and animals and stuff out, and you do see your cart.
Speaker 3:I'd like to help. Try to get the animals out as well, yeah, and then grab my stuff.
Speaker 2:I'm just trying to put out flames while we're there.
Speaker 3:Okay, as I stuff.
Speaker 2:I'm just trying to put out flames while we're there. Okay, as I'm putting out flames, I'm walking towards the store, keeping my eyes out, seeing if there's anything I can snag I don't know if it's comforting if a random man is just walking through the streets going yeah, oh no, everything's on fire. He's the least of your concern grabbing yeah, just grabbing the air I'm just like, don't worry that drug addict is sure helpful.
Speaker 3:I got a 12 and a hand.
Speaker 1:I was going to say you roll with advantage because he is keeping the flames back. 12., 12. Okay, you are able to calm down most of the horses the ones on your cart specifically, you have more success with, but a lot of them are not listening and just kind of trampling back and forth is the store owner or shopkeeper there.
Speaker 2:What was that?
Speaker 1:there's a store owner or shopkeeper there when you passed by the shop it did not look like he was there, because the ashes of the store was really all that was left.
Speaker 2:Is there anything of value left within the ashes? Do you see any like equip flagons, knives, kitchen shit, anything like that?
Speaker 3:A stack of coupons.
Speaker 2:Yeah, pamphlets for mental health A pile of furbolg bones.
Speaker 1:Oh, no, no, you do not A character that I know their name of. You do not see Norhiss anywhere.
Speaker 2:That was his name Chuck Norhiss. Yeah, In case you forgot.
Speaker 1:But there are remnants of metal pieces and stuff that were left over. He was kind of a if a soldier had lost a sword and didn't want to get in trouble, he kind of kept a stockpile.
Speaker 2:He was very pro soldean I grabbed a uh, a large potato sack and I just start throwing knives and daggers and anything else that I can fit into the bag without cutting it open okay, roll me a d20, plus decks, plus decks oh play with me I.
Speaker 1:I mean we are, we're playing together yeah uh All right, you were able to get the bag pretty full. You're merchant style past and stuff like that. You know how to stack daggers and swords and stuff without fucking up your bag. I'm packing that.
Speaker 2:You're getting your bag by putting things in the bag. I'm in my bag. Did you hear his?
Speaker 3:song yeah, he did.
Speaker 2:And he's like oh that's a great way We've been listening to Gucci man. It's a callback to something that's probably not going to make it in the episode, so I'm snatching up, I'm grabbing daggers, swords, short swords, darts, anything I can find.
Speaker 1:As that's happening, you are able to get the cart out of the stable. What do you do? Do you just get it to a safe place so you can go back to the church? Are you guys getting on this and leaving? I'm going to take it to the church.
Speaker 2:I'm jumping on the back of the cart with this bag of weapons.
Speaker 1:Now you are taking this wooden cart through the town that's on fire. I just want to make sure I'm hearing that correctly.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, but I'm not driving it into like flaming buildings, correct.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of organization and fire and how it burns.
Speaker 2:Well, I will avoid. We're good. Yeah, Slap the back of that horse baby If I see a red barrel, I will not drive near it.
Speaker 3:Video game rules. Video game rules.
Speaker 1:So you get the cart back to the church, as Essel is getting the last of the people that can fit. I mean, this place is just packed to the brim right now. You make it back inside. How do you react to what is going on? Essel approaches and says ah, it's so. It's so good to see you too. Uh, we've got most of the people. We're just kind of filtering them through that pathway out the north side of town as quickly as possible. Uh, we've got people filtering out as quickly as possible. Uh, and he still doesn't quite know why his church was saved. He's obviously like thankful, but he's still trying to get his bearings on all this as well. As you guys pull up with the cart and he goes.
Speaker 1:I don't know if there's much that we can do here. I mean, we can put out the flames and stuff like that, but this town is it's going to take so long to rebuild. What happened that? But this town is it's going to take so long to rebuild. What happened like? Can you guys tell me what exactly you saw? I still don't know what happened when you disappeared for just the slightest moment that's what happens.
Speaker 2:You let that woman in your mind, she start manipulating things, messing up. I'm scratching in and out, sometimes still oh, okay, so she was and he's.
Speaker 1:He's still trying to comprehend, he goes. So essentially she's like some form of illusionist.
Speaker 2:No man, she's playing with your brain playing with my like right now everybody's brain, brain All the time, whenever she want to Vance.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Your eyes start to burn as you start to recognize shadows in this crowd inside the church.
Speaker 3:Ah son of a bitch.
Speaker 2:What.
Speaker 3:I think there's some in here and I'd like to start looking and finding them. Okay, give me that perception check. With advantage or no?
Speaker 1:Always with advantage because of your eyes Over a 20.
Speaker 3:Over a 20.
Speaker 1:Over a 20. The two shadows that you see in the crowd are disguising themselves as a lady and her child.
Speaker 3:You and then I point up at the lady.
Speaker 1:You Up at the lady.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. Well, he pointed straight at the child, Pointed straight at the child Up at the lady. They're the same height.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah yeah, they, lady, they're the same height. Yeah, yeah, um, they completely ignore you, like you don't exist they just, they're just nope, no, no, no issues here.
Speaker 3:Give me a hand with this. Uh, and I just kind of trudge over are the woman?
Speaker 2:and child carrying anything are they?
Speaker 1:the lady is carrying the child. Okay, do they have?
Speaker 2:anything else with them, bags, orags or safety.
Speaker 1:That's a baby, just the clothes on their back. No, no, no, it's like a toddler. Oh, okay, you can carry like a four to six year old kid.
Speaker 3:I don't know.
Speaker 1:Can you Wow?
Speaker 2:You can't.
Speaker 3:No, I'm not allowed near them.
Speaker 2:Canon.
Speaker 1:You said it. You said it.
Speaker 3:Oh, no, yeah, I just walk over to the lady and her child.
Speaker 1:Okay, they just look at you, they don't say anything.
Speaker 3:Gone now, show yourself.
Speaker 2:I look at the kid and I lock eyes with the kid and I use prestidigitation to create a little butterfly in my hand.
Speaker 1:This child, like a horror movie, just blank faces. You Just couldn't give less of a shit About the butterfly, about the butterfly.
Speaker 2:While I was locked with him, I turned the butterfly to flames and let it burn the ashes in my hand.
Speaker 1:Emotionless. This child is either a psychopath or not real.
Speaker 2:That kid ain't real. That was an illusion. Yeah, screw your fancy eyes this kid. That kid ain't real.
Speaker 1:But they. The more that you talk to them, the more that you realize if you want them gone, it's going to take more than just to go on and get.
Speaker 3:Well, fuck.
Speaker 1:And do you want to start a fight in this crowded church?
Speaker 2:Are they the two that are keeping track, or are there more shadows than them? Just those two right now, those are the two that are just keeping watch. Are they trying to get out of the city as well? Trying to get out of the city as well?
Speaker 1:So as people filter out the door, they are very strategically just making the rounds to where it looks like they're always part of the crowd but they're not quite ever getting out Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Speaker 3:Well, this is gonna look pretty bad.
Speaker 2:That's always good Are there. I would assume this is a church, so there's candles in the church correct yeah okay, um, I'm gonna go find a candle while he does whatever the hell he's about to do it's going to.
Speaker 1:He's going to dispel shadows. What people are going to see is child and mother manslaughter yeah, oh yeah I I assumed that's what he was doing.
Speaker 2:That's why I'm walking off to go get a candle no guilt by association I already look like this.
Speaker 1:I'm not staying around yeah actually, in the events of what is going on, the last person that did look like you just got executed in public next to the king.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm getting the hell out of this. Yeah, I don't need a mob coming at me. And if you dispel shadows and kill that lady and child and they're related to someone in that hole, we now have a mass civil war on our hands inside of a tunnel.
Speaker 1:Vance, what do you do? What do I?
Speaker 2:do Well, hey, Vance with an A, do me a favor.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Can you get down there by that tunnel and tell me how many more people we have left to get into the tunnel?
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, I trudge over to the tunnel.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, between the people in the main hall and the people that are now filtering through Essel's room, it is hundreds of people with more people outside, and there's only two shadows and there's only two shadows.
Speaker 2:Oh, it sounds like Essel's got this. He can get them all down there and there. We should probably go check on our cart and see if there's another way out. We can't ride this horse and cart through that tunnel.
Speaker 3:Don't tell me what I can and can't do. I'll get these horses through.
Speaker 1:Try it, Try it In fact everyone else hold on, I gotta get these horses and carts through this six-foot door.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he runs out and he checks the cart. He's like what do we do? Just hold those two back.
Speaker 2:No, I'm thinking we get everyone that we can into the tunnel? Yeah, and when the last person is in the tunnel, we tell Essel, hop on the cart and we light this fucking church on fire with them in it.
Speaker 3:I mean, yeah, we could also just hold them back and then hit them with hammers. We don't have to burn a church.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let's leave the church standing while the town is over there. Looking like that, don't you want it all to match? We should coordinate.
Speaker 1:Essel approaches um excuse me, I actually have some opinions on.
Speaker 3:this Is the dress golden, white or black and blue?
Speaker 1:That's keeping busy. Black and blue Shut up.
Speaker 2:Next If you have a better idea, I'm all ears.
Speaker 3:I think it's just get everyone through the tunnel and hold them back. It doesn't really matter if the church burns or not, but I don't see the need to go out of our way.
Speaker 2:Essel does approach, doesn't the need to go out of our way.
Speaker 1:Essel does approach and he goes. Gentlemen, it seems like I will be able to get most of these people out of the city. However, the question quickly becomes where?
Speaker 2:do we go? Where are all those people going? I mean, when they get on the other side of the Northern wall, what's?
Speaker 1:over there. Well, that is the issue to the North is the which Vance. We spoke about this. There's been quite an uptick in local wildlife incidents. But also, the closest town is a small little outpost, mostly for hunting and like pelts and meat for trading, is a town called day stake. Uh, northwest of here, just on the other side of soldeus, but further beyond that is cur hill. Uh, do you remember our discussion about cur hill? Uh, yeah that felt like a lie well, you, just you fill him in yeah, I remember, but please explain for him yeah, what's in curhill?
Speaker 1:and he goes uh dolo, was it? Uh, yes, curhill is a local town to learn.
Speaker 1:Actually, you roll me a history check, because you're from here as well 19 you remember that as the northern most city in the oath makers coalition and it is very commonly referred to as like a smuggling town. It's so close to Soldeus and the Oathmakers Coalition that both local governments kind of understand that if they took that place down a lot of goods for, like the highfalutin, noble society would get very angry. Think of it as like the Cuban cigars type.
Speaker 2:Sounds like my hometown baby. Yeah, right, shrimp and petrol, yeah.
Speaker 1:It's very well known that if you make it to Kerr Hill you can get just about anywhere if you've got the money.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're going to K-Hill baby.
Speaker 1:All right.
Speaker 3:Sounds like we're going to Kerr Hill.
Speaker 1:Esso goes okay. So the two of you plan on going to Curl Hill. I don't believe I will be able to join you. I need to make sure that not only my congregation is safe, but all these people that just lost their homes. But I also don't think that Daystake will have the capacity for all these people. I hope to meet you both again. I'm assuming you'll be heading out on your cart soon.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah. We're going to head out. I would honestly tell you, though, that lady and that baby over there, that baby ain't real.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's an illusion. Oh yeah yeah, and he looks and he points out the two that you said and he said those two right there.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:What do you see? I just see a woman and her child.
Speaker 3:That's crazy, because it's actually a demon and a smaller demon yeah, demons.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the only reason the demon is smaller is because it's compartmentalized into a smaller human. Well, I can assure you that it's not a demon, because it would be burning up in this church right now. Well metaphorically a demon. Well, it's more of a shadow of a demon, it is a. So you know they're not undead. Learned that earlier. Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh no, we remember, roll back the tape.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, they uh. It's very much alive, but it's also not real I'll make sure that they're dealt with discreetly ah, excellent, and just he.
Speaker 3:Just job. Well done, vance it done, didn't have to do anything. My favorite kind of solution.
Speaker 1:And he goes well, I do hope to see the two of you again and he pulls a stone out of his satchel and he hands it to either one of you.
Speaker 3:Is there a preference on who would get this? This is the stone you can cast if you have yet to sin.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, you know what, go ahead and hand it to me.
Speaker 1:It sin. Yeah, yeah, you know what.
Speaker 3:Go ahead and hand it to me. It's a rock that when you crush it, all shadows die immediately now, uh, he said it.
Speaker 1:He said it right yeah, he's like why wasn't this used earlier?
Speaker 2:um forgot I had it uh, he goes if.
Speaker 1:If there is ever a time that you need to contact me, crush this stone and for a couple of minutes we will be able to communicate, no matter where we are on this plane.
Speaker 2:What do you know about what we talked about? Because you seem super interested in our story of the lady, but you seem confused, but you seem intrigued. What do you know?
Speaker 1:My confusion is coming from the fact that I believe you. I have no reason to doubt what you are saying to me. I didn't experience any of that.
Speaker 2:I saw soldanian soldiers turn on the people of this town when an election did not go their way? You ever heard of a lady cast shadows and people brain?
Speaker 1:no, I have not, which is why I say I believe you, but it's very difficult for me to understand what's going on, considering I did not experience this.
Speaker 2:That baby ain't real.
Speaker 1:I sure hope you're right, because if I punch a child and blood comes out, I'm going to have a lot to deal with You'll be alright, pray about it.
Speaker 3:I'm going to need my own pamphlet. Vance flashes back to when the butcher knife cut off the arm. Was there blood? No, no, he's like yeah you'll be good.
Speaker 1:Yep, even when you couldn't tell that it was shadows yeah it literally just looked like a magic trick, where the guy's just like yep, and then there's like an arm separate cool okay yeah, you got this big dog.
Speaker 3:I've been doing a lot of dudes and big dogs, yeah, yeah vance has got a weird vibe today.
Speaker 1:Yeah, um, ever since those undisclosed crimes, it's like he's trying to change his identity. Um, he goes. I will. I will handle these people um as best I can and make sure as many get to safety.
Speaker 2:Um, I wish you safe travels on your journey to curhill I pull one of the swords out of the potato sack and I hand it to him. I hope you don't need it.
Speaker 1:Oh, and then he just kind of looks at the sword that he uses and he goes better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it. Yeah, that's a burner sword.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:That's a Friday night, special man.
Speaker 3:It's just like a hibachi skewer and just duct tape around the handle.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, you just into that and then just throw it away. Man, get them Light the dumpster on fire.
Speaker 3:All the evidence is gone man. Well, that sword very clearly survived a fire, so that's not true, actually, if you look at the bottom, it says good for two fires.
Speaker 2:Stamped in it.
Speaker 1:He takes the sword and he goes. Thank you, appreciate it. The best way to get to kerr hill is to leave out the exit that you came, and then there is a dirt road of about a mile or so. Down the road that will take you north. Fair warning, it is a bit of a treacherous journey because most people on their way to kerr hill are not there for wholesome reasons, so you may get quite a bit of resistance along the way.
Speaker 2:Yeah well, I got a whole sum of reasons I'm going up there if you know what I mean.
Speaker 3:I don't.
Speaker 1:I don't know how to take that, but you also saved so many people, so I'm putting a lot of trust in you. But, gentlemen, thank you so much for all of the help saving my life in this town. I really hope that we can talk again soon. And he puts the stone in your hand, puts like, like you know, oh yeah, you're taking it, and he puts his hand over and he goes godspeed as you part ways and head out on the cart as we're riding off, I'm on the back of the cart and I yell out that baby ain't real the baby pops out and like what the shit?
Speaker 3:I'm at work dude.
Speaker 1:I'm doing my job. I have rent. I have shadow rent, I have to pay as you start to leave the church, your eyes start to burn, as when you look left and right, going down these streets, these buildings that have fire in the windows, shadows begin to appear in those windows. Oh man, Hold on to your butts and a voice in the back of both of your minds goes. Well, I didn't say you could leave now. Did I Roll initiative? Oh Six.
Speaker 3:Thirteen, thirteen, on the now did I Roll initiative. Oh Six.
Speaker 2:Thirteen.
Speaker 1:Thirteen on the die, so that's a fifteen. What was yours, vance? Six, six, all right, that was the worst You're the worst Dolo, thirteen, thirteen, so they get to go first. This is not combat, where you're just like fighting. This is you guys trying to escape. Not combat, where you're just like fighting. This is you guys trying to escape. Cool, so who out of the two of you wants to be the driver and who wants to be the one? That is like reacting to what the shadows do.
Speaker 3:I think I'm already driving, so I'd be me with animal.
Speaker 2:I have animal handling, a plus three so, okay, I'm on the back of the cart trying to figure out what the hell's going on.
Speaker 1:As you start to head out of town, the first set of shadows hold out their hand as little darts appear and just start flinging themselves towards the cart. Oh nice, both of you roll me. Dexterity saving throws Dolo, since you are kind of playing defense on this, you also need to roll me a wisdom check 12.
Speaker 2:Okay, wisdom is 13.
Speaker 1:Okay, so with your 12, only two of the darts hit on your side. However, because of your wisdom check, one of those darts is deflected. So you and we're just going to keep your guys' health pool as the cart's total health. Okay, so one dart strikes, doing five piercing damage. Okay, everybody give me another round as more shadows appear and more darts are thrown at the cart.
Speaker 3:So this is a deck save.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 3:And this wouldn't be an animal handling thing. Am I just saving?
Speaker 1:No, because you are essentially trying to not get hit by the darts while you're driving. They're not targeting the horses.
Speaker 3:Oh, okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, brian is using his ability to essentially deflect as many darts as possible. I got an eight, okay. I got a 19. And a 19. Okay. So with those two rolls, five darts hit the cart, but three are deflected. The cart now takes five and four more damage. Damn. A group of three shadows appears in front of the cart Vance. Since you are driving, do you want to try and steamroll through them or maneuver around? No, we're going through them.
Speaker 3:Okay, roll me an animal handling check.
Speaker 1:No, we're going through them. Okay, roll me an animal handling check Dolo. Give me one more wisdom, yeah.
Speaker 3:I got a 19. Okay, damn.
Speaker 1:Nat one Comes out to three. Yeah, with a nat one, dolo is not able to diminish any of the damage from running through these and the cart takes 16 damage from running through these and the cart takes 16 damage Damn Wow as you plow through wounding one of the horses. But you just breached the gate to the town. Where is the horse wounded?
Speaker 3:I got it, don't worry Okay.
Speaker 1:As you break through the gate, he's wounded right in his wound hole.
Speaker 3:In his wound hole Left leg immediately through, he's wounded right in his wound hole In his wound hole Left leg, immediately Done. It's over, it's done.
Speaker 1:Glue. I got medicine Glue Glue Aggressive. No, it's just cut up on its side as it went through. As you break free from the shadows, you look behind you to see a town that you weren't very familiar with, but somehow the two of you became the saviors of the people that remained, as it slowly burns to the ground and night begins to set. Though this may be the end of you, grinch, it is not the end of the two of you's journey as you make your way to Kerr Hill.
Speaker 2:Okay, hill baby.
Speaker 1:And that's where we're ending this session. Thank you everybody for listening. My name is tyler waltz. I've been your dm. You can find everything I do here at monster, monster or nerd news hey everybody, I'm tyson cox.
Speaker 3:You can find me at tyson cox comedy. Uh, and thanks for listening.
Speaker 2:I was vance, yeah and I've been brian petrie you can find me at everything at Brian Petrie Comedy and I've been Dolan Mirosedrin, aka Dolo.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thank you all so much.
Speaker 3:I just want to say thank you very much for the Crit Show, for letting us use their studio. We appreciate that. Hopefully we sound better and still look handsome.