Monster Monster
Welcome to Monster Monster! A live play table top role playing game podcast! We are currently running our second season of D&D 5th edition
Monster Monster
S02309 - The Man Grotto
From battling skeletons in a dark cave to haggling with a suspicious blacksmith, the adventures of Vance Ironside and Dolo Meir Sedren take a dramatic turn as they carve out their place in the world - quite literally with a flaming frying pan to a necromancer's skull.
After charging into battle against a room full of animated skeletons, our heroes discover more than they bargained for. The necromancer, bitter about his unexpected skeletal transformation, had been partnering with someone named Alyssum to combine illusion and necromagic for sinister purposes. Their goal? Creating abominations and bringing spectral entities into reality - a plan that thankfully fell apart before completion.
With Dolo's fiery culinary weapon delivering the final blow, the adventurers free imprisoned soldiers and claim their unlikely spoils: a cave hideout, wolf pelts, mysterious infernal books, and an amulet that causes searing pain and invasive thoughts when worn. Their newfound team name, "The Necrowolves," seems particularly fitting given the circumstances.
Arriving in the rough town of Kerr Hill, the duo navigates the dangerous streets to find a blacksmith dealing in more than just metalwork. After some tense negotiation involving fire magic threats and references to underground connections, they secure valuable information about the mysterious amulet along with a few magical upgrades. But who is this person the blacksmith recommends, and what secrets do the sealed infernal books hold?
Ready to follow the Necrowolves deeper into the magical underbelly of this war-torn world? Subscribe now and join us for our next adventure as we unravel these mysteries and face whatever dangers lurk in the shadows of Kerr Hill!
Previously on Monster Monster, Vance and Dolo discovered the camp that was dealing with wolves to discover a strong sense of necrotic magic. This led to a cave that held the survivors in something much more sinister.
Speaker 2:Vance, where the hell are you going To fuck shit?
Speaker 1:up. As soon as you walk in the summoning circle your body begins to melt. In a road I went around, new character he wouldn't have Alright welcome to Monster in a road I went around. New character Welcome to Monster Monster.
Speaker 3:I never had a wife.
Speaker 1:Vance's Day, season 1 reference. We open up to this giant room as Vance has decided to do, a head-on charge to the skeletons, as Dolo and Av got left in the dust. But we are going to just start off rolling initiative everybody, also in my defense we did.
Speaker 3:let him snap six soldiers into existence.
Speaker 1:Nat 20. Nat 20, right off the rip.
Speaker 3:I got a two because I got a three on the die.
Speaker 2:Okay, Whoa nice.
Speaker 3:I'm old, I ran the 25 feet or the 30 feet and I'm just like, oh, my knees.
Speaker 1:If it helps, av was also not ready. First up we've got Dolo. Do you see Vance run off to the left?
Speaker 2:I'm going to take off right, I'm going to go this direction, I'm going to dash right and then I'm going to arm myself with a bow and arrow.
Speaker 1:Gotcha, so you're just using your action to dash.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:All righty. Next up is the skeletons. The first skeletons on the outer side that are closest to both Dolo and Vance rush up on you and take two swings with their swords. Ooh, the first one on Dolo was a 21 to hit Jesus yeah. Yep, all righty, and that is going to do five damage. And then the one on Vance swings with a five Nope.
Speaker 3:Oh really, okay, wow, good pause. Thanks for checking in.
Speaker 1:I was trying to be very dramatic. I thought I nailed you. And then the skeletons closest to the Necromancer each fire a short bow shot at you, Dolo, we've got a seven, Nope, and then on Vance, we've got a 19. That'll do it Alright. So you're going to take three piercing damage minimum. The other two skeletons start to move in towards the circle and then that is the end of their turn. And now we are moving to Av, who has decided to run over and support Dolo, and she just uses her movement to dash as well. So she didn't quite make it up. So now we are at the Necromancer's turn and he turns around to his desk, completely ignoring you guys, and he just starts moving sigils around.
Speaker 3:He's playing Risk.
Speaker 2:I don't know. It looks like he's doing a scrapbook, oh.
Speaker 3:I can write this down for my buddy I do like how cavalier this necromancer is, but not in a way of like I'm haughty and better than you, but just in like a I don't know man, I got shit to do.
Speaker 1:It's purely like a rage.
Speaker 3:He thought he was getting something that he no longer is getting. Yeah, uh, with that we're back up to the top with dolo uh, no, we're not.
Speaker 1:No, he goes, oh no no, I forgot about van, so he doesn't exist.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah because this is my world. So all right, uh, bye, tyson all right vance.
Speaker 1:What would you like to do? You have one skeleton up on you I went to the void I have returned. If it's my world, it's hell.
Speaker 3:So the other two didn't move and then you guys went the other side. So I'm not really gonna get all right. I'll just try to.
Speaker 1:I'll just smash this guy with my hammer there are still two skeletons in front of you as well, so there's one right up on you, and then there's the other one heading towards the circle and the archer one behind him.
Speaker 3:Well, I want to get the necromancer in with the Turn on dead. Yeah, so I'm going to wait on that, cool, so I'm just going to go ahead and just mace to the face, okay, and that is bludgeoning damage, correct.
Speaker 1:How far might that two hit 16. That does hit Four damage, nice, okay, and you notice that because it is a skeleton that does more than you would expect. Yeah, dusty ass, son of a bitch. Okay, anything else on your turn? I mean, that's all I can really do. You're level five. Oh wait, clerics, don't get an extra attack at level five, right, correct. Now back to the skeletons. We have a 13 to hit Dolo with the sword. Nope, all right. And then the bow shot on Dolo was even worse than that, so no. And then a sword and bow on Vance.
Speaker 3:Sorry, the odds bring it on me now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah so the sword was a 16. That'll do it, and the short bow was an 11. Miss. So the short sword is going to do five points of damage to you. After that, the two that were heading towards the circle get closer into the circle and you notice that red starts to glow on the outside of their skeletons. And another turn of the necromancer fumbling away at his desk. Av is now up and she, you win Top of the order you win.
Speaker 3:No, I didn't go.
Speaker 2:Did I beef it up again? No, I didn't go.
Speaker 1:Did I beef it up?
Speaker 2:again. Yeah, I'm so excited.
Speaker 3:I'm so excited, you need to write it down.
Speaker 2:I did write it down, that's the worst part. So I'll take a, because I had one that stabbed at me, right? Yes, oh, you slashed at me.
Speaker 1:You were technically supposed to go before that skeleton.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Very clearly the camera right there. My bad, that was my bad, that was on me.
Speaker 2:Because he misses me so in my turn. I'm going to take the bottom of my bow and I'm just going to smash him across the side of the head. Okay, renan, give me that two hit 13.
Speaker 1:That does hit Nice. Smash him against the side of the head and with the back of the bow. That's bludgeoning. Yeah, it'll be an improvised weapon technically so it'd be a D4. D4.
Speaker 3:Yeah, there we go. That was a D4, but.
Speaker 1:I'll roll a six-eyed. It's a D4 with six eyes. Yeah, well I, that's five. Okay, doing ten damage. Wow, you destroy that first skeleton.
Speaker 2:Hell yeah, I get bonus attack because I'm a monk in this motherfucker. I'm going to turn with that same bow and arrow, okay, and I'm going to shoot directly at the necromancer.
Speaker 1:At the necromancer. Okay, give me that two hit 19 19. Okay, roll me a perception check. God he's so cool.
Speaker 2:Oh uh, that's a 24 okay.
Speaker 1:So you notice that your arrow hits and the moment that it gets within a foot or two of the necromancer, it drastically slows down and it does make contact with him.
Speaker 1:The force of the arrow was able to hit him, but it doesn't seem like he took very much damage because he's a skeleton for piercing and he slows down and it does make contact with him. The force of the arrow was able to hit him but it doesn't seem like he took very much damage because he's a skeleton for piercing and the field around him. But he did take a little bit of damage. Actually, roll your damage to see exactly how much he took.
Speaker 2:What is that? Where is it he's got? It'd be a short bow.
Speaker 1:Six D6.
Speaker 3:Well, that's his D6 with 10 sides. Yeah, all right, you're being real weird about this, tyler. Yeah, yeah, yeah, my bad, my bad.
Speaker 1:Oh, I'm the only one that can make mistakes.
Speaker 3:Nine.
Speaker 1:Nine okay Now, because I messed up and now we're fixing everything. The skeletons get to go again.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's exactly how that goes again.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's exactly how that goes. I assume that's what would happen.
Speaker 1:Were you the kind of kid that was like no, I had a force field up. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. But we are now back to Av. Yeah, see, I'm getting it, I'm learning.
Speaker 3:It only took nine episodes. Av runs up. By the way, reading is left right, top to bottom In English yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:But what do you have written there?
Speaker 3:It doesn't matter.
Speaker 1:Is it English? Did you write it? It's not sad to do anything, so I'm going to start writing shit in Japanese. Okay, so Av runs up to the one with the short bow and she takes a swing I guess not a swing a stab at it with the spear and she misses pretty bad, but sees a fighter, so she gets two and she hits pretty hard with the second one. She's one handing it. So that is five piercing on the next skeleton. Now back up to the top I'm gonna hell, hell again.
Speaker 1:Vance, what do you want to do?
Speaker 3:I'm going to go ahead and I'm going to rush forward and, kind of Because I don't want to waste my turn on that, I'm going to rush forward and try to get within 30 feet of the necromancer.
Speaker 1:And you are taking the opportunity. Attack, yes, bad miss. Not a crit but as close as you can get.
Speaker 3:Turn undead. I present my holy symbol and censor undead creatures. I just get a little black bar over their naughty bits. Yep, Each undead within 30 feet.
Speaker 1:Necromancer well endowed? Yeah, he is. I mean he's got to pick his own meat. Yeah right, make a DC 14, wisdom saving throw Wisdom, and then the next one would be the archer one that got a nat 20. So for some odd reason, Necromancer kind of vulnerable to it, the archer steadfast.
Speaker 3:Alright, and I'm going to use my searing modifier on it, where I roll a number of d8s equal to my wisdom mod. Okay, so that they're going to take 3d8 radiant damage 3d8 radiant.
Speaker 2:Come on.
Speaker 3:Not bad. Take 3d8 radiant, damage 3d8 radiant. Come on, not bad.
Speaker 1:13 even the one that passed no, only if it fails only if it fails. So this is just the necromancer, then? Uh yes, okay, there was only one skeleton in the necromancer in rage because the other one went into the circle and then you ran past the one on. You just want to check, nuke the necroman. And then you ran past the one on you.
Speaker 3:I just want to check Nuke the Necromancer, and then I'm sure the skeletons will fall, okay.
Speaker 1:So how much damage was that? 13. 13?
Speaker 3:Okay 13 radiant.
Speaker 1:Your 13 radiant damage completely destroys the force field around the Necromancer and severely damages him.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's like that nuke in Terminator 2. Just pow.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like that, nuke in terminator 2, just pow, yeah, holding on to the fence.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what a horrifying scene, by the way. Yeah, just so good, so good. Uh, is that your turn?
Speaker 3:uh, yeah, that'll be all my actions just wanted to make sure.
Speaker 1:Now back to the top, not with the skeletons, but with dolo nice.
Speaker 2:Uh, I take my bow and arrow, I draw another arrow and I light it on fire and I take another shot directly at the necromancer give me that two hit.
Speaker 1:Oh no, that's only a four. Yeah, I was about to say that's a pretty safe miss. Yeah, it's a pretty bad, miss.
Speaker 3:You shot a little higher because it was a little light bonus action okay yeah, you can bonus action.
Speaker 1:I'm shooting again. I don't think you can take another shot. Oh, I can dash closer you can bonus action.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm shooting again. I don't think you can take another shot with bonus action. I don't think I can take another shot. Oh, I can dash closer, though you can bonus action, dash, yeah, okay. Yeah, is there a skeleton near me still, or are they both inside the circle?
Speaker 1:There's the archer one that Av is dealing with.
Speaker 2:So you would have to pass Av and see if I can't at least not let her die.
Speaker 1:Okay, cool, yep, so you head over to Av and then is that the end of your turn? Yeah, all right. So now, after that, is the skeletons. The archer skeleton that is on Av and Dolo drops his bow and draws a short sword and takes a swing at Av with an eight, so that is a miss. And takes a swing at Av with an eight, so that is a miss.
Speaker 3:And then the other archer one drops his and goes after you, vance, with even worse just a really poop in the bed on this, the skeleton's like I should have kept my bow up. I'm a skeletal archer.
Speaker 1:I have not specialized for this. The two that have been entering the circle, slowly glowing more red, have reached the center, and when they do, their bones begin to crumble and crack as they turn to dust in the center and through that dust a vortex appears to create a big amalgamation of a giant skeleton.
Speaker 3:Oh.
Speaker 1:So now there is one skeleton in the middle that is much larger vance is like I could have got taller. Yeah, yeah, go in it. See what happens. Um and with that, that is the skeleton's turn, and the necromancer has now turned around to face you and I need both of you to make me a dexterity saving throw. Oh, I'm sorry, constitution saving throw.
Speaker 3:Oh, thank God, I was like Dex no 19.
Speaker 1:19. All right.
Speaker 2:Nope, that's five.
Speaker 1:Five. Oh, I need Av. Is it poison?
Speaker 3:Because I'm immune to poison guy. It is not.
Speaker 1:Av passes as well. So you feel an incredibly strong force hit you in the chest as just wind rushes out and pushes you. If you failed, 15 feet away from it. If you succeed, you take half damage. So Dolo and Av take 10 points of force damage. You take 5 and don't have to move.
Speaker 3:I'm getting punched pretty consistently With that.
Speaker 1:It is now Av's turn, since that was the skeleton's turn, Because I'm keeping track better now and they take swings, or, I'm sorry, Av's turn she takes a swing for a 19 to hit with her spear and she is able to kill that skeletal archer over by her and Dolo On to you, Vance Now.
Speaker 3:I'm going to go ahead and I'm just gonna point my finger yep and be like and be like. You know how you hit me with that wind. I don't like that sort of thing. And then I fire the guiding bolt.
Speaker 1:Okay yeah, which is a saving throw, correct?
Speaker 3:No a plus six to hit. Oh okay.
Speaker 1:Hey bud, You're awfully cocky.
Speaker 3:I mean, you gotta go up like you show up. Yeah, how'd you?
Speaker 1:do the worst possible outcome, which is Natural one. Oh, there it is.
Speaker 3:There it is.
Speaker 1:Does my magic just be like yeah, it makes a fart noise, and then it is there it is. Does my magic just be like boop boop, boop, boop, boop? Yeah, it makes a fart noise, and then it just falls on the ground?
Speaker 3:It just putters out. I swear to God this never happens to me, you're just so pretty. I meant it earlier when I said some people are into this.
Speaker 1:It was you. Yeah, it was me.
Speaker 3:Okay, no, I'm sorry, give me 15 minutes and we'll get a Gatorade. We'll try this again.
Speaker 1:Is that your turn? Yeah, all right. Well, back to the skeletons.
Speaker 2:No Dolo.
Speaker 1:How far away am I from the Necromancer now? About 5, 10 feet.
Speaker 2:How far away am I from the necromancer now?
Speaker 1:Oh, about five, ten feet. You're very close, all right.
Speaker 2:I am going to. I just get pissed off because I missed my last shot and I get enraged and I throw fire bolts straight at his face.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Give me that two hit no whammy, no whammy, no whammy.
Speaker 1:Ten Ooh, that is a miss, damn yeah.
Speaker 3:Damn, you got all that wind in your eyes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know, let's see I'm going to. Is there a? No, I'm not even going to do that. I'm going to stand right where I'm at and I'm going to take out my frying pan and just brace myself.
Speaker 1:Okay, frying pan.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I have a frying pan that hangs on my thing.
Speaker 1:What is this PUBG? Is that the game?
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, yeah, no, for that chicken dinner I got a big cast iron frying pan.
Speaker 1:Hell yeah, is that the end of your turn?
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:All right on to the skeletons. There's one normal skeleton left the giant skeleton and the necromancer, none of our magic's working yeah, the necromancer is able to. Well, I guess, I don't know, does a 14 hit? It matches my ac. It does, so you are hit with a poison spray okay, how does that work with? Being immune to poison, so you're not getting poisoned just taking the damage and yeah, if you are, you also resistant to poison damage or just immune to poison?
Speaker 3:To avoid or end poison conditions Dwarven Resilience Cool.
Speaker 1:So no resistant to poison damage.
Speaker 3:You just can't get poison Correct.
Speaker 1:So you will take the minimum one. He's like pocket sand, but like slightly worse. He's like ha, coffee breath. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that ends the Necromancer's turn. And then we will go on to the last archer which drew a sword that's also going to miss. And then the giant skeleton in the middle has started working his way towards Dolo and Av and will, as in his big like he just walks over and just kicks, like just a big old kick right at both of you, dexterity saving throws.
Speaker 2:Ha suck it, that's a 16.
Speaker 1:All right, so you're going to take half damage and Av takes full damage, and so that'll be eight. So you'll take four. Damn.
Speaker 3:Damn it Av. Remember what.
Speaker 1:I said, I'm doing everything I can okay, I'm fighting for my life over here and that is the end of the skeleton. So now it is on to Av and she takes her spear and she kind of tosses it up and grabs it and then throws it at the necromancer With a nat one.
Speaker 3:Oh no, it's just in my back shoulders yeah, that was actually on purpose shut up she's like remember, don't get hit, don't die.
Speaker 1:She thought she was gonna help and do something cool, but just completely whiffs it. She goes okay, and then she draws her sword. The sword, see, good thing you gave the sword, yeah. And then she takes a swing at the giant one for a hit and three damage. Okay.
Speaker 2:She just like hit it in its knee. Yeah, basically, ah, ah.
Speaker 1:And that is the end of the skeleton's turn and Av's turn. So now we are at Vance.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I almost combined Dolo and Vance to say Volo, but that's a different guy, he just appears.
Speaker 2:He's there now. Yeah, Tom Bomberdillon, he's real bendy Popping up smoking everyone's weed Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3:I'm going to try to do that again. I'm going to try to be like hang on, I shake my hand. I'm going to try this again. I'm like, I'm going to try this again. I point the finger out again. I go, I don't like that kind of thing.
Speaker 1:That's much better. 20. Okay, that does hit, and this is also radiant damage. Guiding bolt radiant damage. Okay, 11 damage, 11 damage. The necromancer is looking real bad. Like real bad He'd do that. You see, a lot of cracks are forming in the skull, behind the skin.
Speaker 3:No, that would be it for my turn.
Speaker 2:Back up top, dolo, I am going to you, said he's like just a couple feet from me. Yes, I'm going to pass my hand over my frying pan and light it on fire, okay, and I'm going to slide up to him and smack the living shit out of him with this frying pan. That's pretty good, that's a good hit, so I'm going to knock the shit out of him with this frying pan.
Speaker 3:Give me that damage.
Speaker 1:Just that good bump. Are you proficient with frying pans, or is this an improvised weapon?
Speaker 2:No, I'm proficient with this frying pan. This is my frying pan. This is my frying pan.
Speaker 3:This is my frying pan. I own a skateboard.
Speaker 1:I can't do a kickflip anymore. We'll just say it's a club A D6.
Speaker 2:It's a D6, but I get plus three.
Speaker 1:Eight, it's going to be eight bludgeoning and fire damage. You knock the skull clean off of the necromancer and it makes that comedic clunk noise as it rolls.
Speaker 2:Vance grab that skull. Grab that skull.
Speaker 3:I grab it, I pick it up and I put my hand under it.
Speaker 1:Ha, ha, ha, I'm a dum, dum, dum dum dum, dum, roll me a wisdom saving throw.
Speaker 3:Oh fuck, I got a five. I didn't really have anything planned, I just thought it would be funny. It's Ash from Evil Dead. Oh no, it bites, it bites. Yeah, vance is now the Necromancer. It's me.
Speaker 1:I'm the problem All right, you guys solved the Necromancer puzzle. You guys kill the Necromancer, the giant skeleton falls to the ground and I'm assuming we're just wrapping this up nicely you guys are going to go check on the people in the prison.
Speaker 3:You're just leaving them in the cages. They're fine, they're just going to starve now.
Speaker 1:Do you know what?
Speaker 2:That'd be $20. $20. All right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I look through the just kind of like I want to see what's like what he was working on all that stuff, cool yeah, give me either Arcana or Investigation.
Speaker 2:I start digging through his robes and just looking for anything of value.
Speaker 1:Okay Investigation.
Speaker 3:Well, six.
Speaker 1:Six, six, and that was Arcana Arcana.
Speaker 2:Okay, seven.
Speaker 1:Eighteen Arcana, Arcana, okay, Seven, 18. 18, all right, so with your Arcana check you can't really. I mean, you see a bunch of stuff but you got no idea what it is, it's all written in French.
Speaker 3:Yeah well, infernal, so pretty much oh wow, same thing, hot, take we here at Monster. Monster don't like the French. That includes you. Quebec, hey French, that includes you.
Speaker 2:Quebec and then Dolo you said that you got a 18.
Speaker 1:on your investigation, In one of the pockets of his robes you find a small amulet. You don't know what it does. You can't quite tell. It will take a long rest or an identify spell to be able to figure out exactly what it does. Is there anything else the two of you would like to do while you're in the chambers?
Speaker 3:Uh, free the soldiers, avoid the big circle.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:Um, yeah, you know what?
Speaker 2:Can I use my uh control fire to raise the flames on the torches to if we can see better in the cave. Yeah, for sure See if there's anything else around there that might be of purpose.
Speaker 1:You're more than welcome to roll the same arcana check that Vance did to see if there's anything on the table that makes sense 19 19.
Speaker 1:So you notice that in a lot of his works he was essentially working with Alyssum to figure out how to combine the illusion and necromagic to create abominations and amalgamations. Essentially, what you can put together is that she was trying to bring in those spectral beings that you saw when you were being interrogated. And how could she get those into reality? Because right now she just has soldiers which are strong, and she has tons of them, but she hasn't been able to really develop the sheer power to create these abominations in her world in reality.
Speaker 2:So she had a partner with old bony bone.
Speaker 1:Right, and it seems like when things went South, she didn't have time to work with this necromancer anymore, and their deal was essentially if you can help me combine these forms of magic, I'll give you test subjects for you to get your body back. Because he was very jaded about when he became a necromancer. He, he became a skeleton. So he's like, well, this isn't what I signed up for, um, and then he grew into a rage once everything fell apart. Yeah, he's like.
Speaker 3:I used to be hot. I was a hot necromancer. This sucks.
Speaker 1:Well, it's like with the great power. There was like he didn't read the terms and conditions.
Speaker 3:No, I'm hot I don't read, I don't even know if he was hot.
Speaker 1:Imagine you just wake up just bones. That would suck. There's a lot of things that you're not enjoying in life anymore.
Speaker 2:But he's got such a cool new pad in that cave where he's like ah, I didn't read something, yeah.
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Much like the cart. I set this up as a quick save so I fast travel. This is my new hideout.
Speaker 1:So with that you're able to free these people. When you make it back, you notice that the trance is gone, um, and they have all of their equipment and stuff that's all piled there, and they have enough food to make it back into town or back to their camp. Cool, do you do anything extra outside of kind of get?
Speaker 3:them. I just make sure they're like medically okay, okay, yeah cool, can I talk?
Speaker 2:to one of the soldiers and ask him about his experience there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2:What that was like and what he's going through right now and if there's any information that we can gain from that Natural 20. 21.
Speaker 1:Wow, okay, nice, so you guys are able to pick out that actually one of the surviving ones was the one that wrote the diary um. So he is very detailed in giving out, like the wolves, and what people were reporting and essentially it's a one-for-one match for what essel was talking about and how the wolves didn't seem real because the coordination but people were actually getting attacked.
Speaker 2:Um, and I'm assuming you're filling them in on on you, grinch uh no, yeah, no okay vance just hands him his diary and it's like there's some extra stuff yeah, you wrote some weird shit in your last few days he goes.
Speaker 1:I mean, it's kind of weird to read somebody else's diary, but I'm guessing you wouldn't have found us if you didn't, so I'm not going to complain too much here. Uh, thank you both very much. I think we'll help clean up the town. It seems like we don't really need an outpost if the town is burning down.
Speaker 3:So we're just going to head back. I mean, it's probably burnt, burnt down by now okay, rebuilding efforts.
Speaker 1:Is that what you do? Is it? I mean?
Speaker 2:this cave is pretty nice. Y'all can decorate this thing.
Speaker 3:No, no, this is mine.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, all right.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So you're taking the cave?
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:That's weird.
Speaker 3:All right Did you kill the necromancer. I did not Highlander rules, dude Okay.
Speaker 2:All right our cave now. All right, the rest, that's extreme makeover. Oh, we're going to lose it in a couple years because of taxes. Yeah, we really raised the property value. It was a cave. It's nice now.
Speaker 3:First of all, what we're going to do is all these wolf corpses gone.
Speaker 2:Gone. We're going to get rid of them, but they're rugs now.
Speaker 3:Actually I'd load the Help me with these pelts. I'd ask the soldiers to help me carry all the wolf corpses to the cart. Yeah, I mean you saved our lives.
Speaker 1:We have no reason to fight this, really. So you make it back to the cart, yeah, okay, cool. You make it back to camp. Everything goes smoothly. Oh, before we leave.
Speaker 3:I put a sign above the entrance that just says Vance's man, because it's a cave. Because it's a cave, vance's man Cave, it's more of a grotto.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm just walking around picking up arrows and just putting them in a bag and just collecting random shit, nice and then I put the amulet on. Okay, cool.
Speaker 1:All right, okay, we'll get to that in a second.
Speaker 2:Put the amulet on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you put the sign up On the man cave and I can't wait for us To get like 30 episodes Into this and you completely Forget about it and then we come back here. It's written down baby.
Speaker 3:It doesn't mean You're gonna remember it, that's 100% correct.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I wrote down the order and fucked it up Like three times and I just wrote it down.
Speaker 3:I got a place. It's good to have a place again.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm just like yeah, now I'm keeping this shit, this is nice.
Speaker 1:The moment that that amulet touches your skin. I need you to make me a wisdom saving throw.
Speaker 2:That is a 16. A 16.
Speaker 1:Your mind feels like it is on fire, as shearing pain shoots down the back of your mind all the way down your back to where you can feel it in your legs. Nothing inherently happens to your body, but it feels like you've just dodged a horrendous bullet as thoughts of somebody else enter your mind.
Speaker 2:I take the amulet off and I go. Hey, Vance, try this on. Ha ha ha.
Speaker 1:Ha, ha ha, and you take 12 psychic damage. Wow, you succeeded. So it's only half.
Speaker 2:Do I learn anything from this experience?
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, you learned that when you put it on it hurt a whole bunch and you were experiencing another person's thoughts. Got it? No, I'm good Now. The funny thing is you could have kept it on and not like you just had that amulet now, but you took it back off.
Speaker 3:Oh. Oh all right, you took it off. Well, we learned.
Speaker 1:yeah, yeah yeah you want to put it back on?
Speaker 3:no, all right I want to know what it does before we try to do that again.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah yeah, because I'm not about to just walk around wearing it and then something happens yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:Well, what a mystery, what a, what a tease.
Speaker 3:Yeah if only we could take that long rest to look at it the next time we're traveling somewhere. Yeah, so yeah, we load up and start driving towards.
Speaker 1:Currahill, so you guys can stay at the camp for the night and get a full rest and everything and set back out in the morning. Yeah, that sounds good to me, Full rest and the guards are like we'll keep watch. I don't know if that's like. I don't know if you guys think that's a good thing, considering everything that happened here before, but it feels like we took care of the problem.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So we'll let you guys rest. You guys clearly deserved it. So the two of you and Av head out in the morning and start to head north.
Speaker 3:And during the long rest I'd like to look at that amulet.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, cool, give me. Are you casting like identify, or are you?
Speaker 3:just trying to figure. I don't believe.
Speaker 1:I have identified. Okay, then give me an arcana check. Ugh, that's a 12. Okay.
Speaker 3:Five.
Speaker 1:All right, neither one of you are able to figure out the amulet yet.
Speaker 3:I think it's a necklace. Yeah, you think so, bud, it's a really big ring.
Speaker 2:What's it made out of? It's a really big ring. What's it made out of?
Speaker 1:It is made entirely of gold, with a red gem in the middle.
Speaker 2:With me being so versed in thievery and procurement of rare goods, am I able to identify what type of stone that is what type of stone it is no Okay, you just don't know stones. I do, but a knowledge of gems and thievery and stuff wouldn't identify this type of stone because of its origin? That's my question. I'm looking at it like I ain't never seen no shit like this. Yeah, nice, I haven't seen some shit, but I ain't never seen no shit like this, like this, like this yeah, uh, load up and we'll head.
Speaker 3:Uh, we'll start heading our way back to Kerr Hill.
Speaker 1:The rest of the trip to Kerr Hill goes fairly easy. You have a couple of nights where you're on edge with everything that's going on, but the next three days you were able to make it just fine and we approach the gates to Kerr Hill and me saying approaching the gates to Kerr Hill makes it seem way more fancy than it is. This is literally just like there's a sign on the side of the road that says Kerr Hill and everybody knows that. You get what you get when you enter this town. And the moment that you start to roll into town with a whole cart and everything like that give me perception checks 10. You were real close to being good and then the dice just awkwardly went.
Speaker 1:You saw that, huh.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it just tilted over.
Speaker 1:So Vance with a 15, you notice that there's some people that are looking at you guys like prime real estate, you know, like they're looking at this cart. They're looking at you guys like, oh, new meat in town.
Speaker 2:How many guys?
Speaker 1:It's just a bunch of people on the side of the road. I would say 10 to 12 in the crowds that are just kind of moving through the city.
Speaker 3:Vance has traveled a bunch, so he's just making that hard eye contact of like go on.
Speaker 1:You're looking around your cart. Even though it's beat up from adventuring and stuff like that is the nicest thing you can see here on this side of town. You're damn right. So people are looking at you.
Speaker 3:You stole it. It's the Necrow-. Yeah, but we're rolling into town. The Necrowolves are coming into town.
Speaker 1:Baby Goddamn right, is it precarious in that name? Yeah, we're the Necrowolves.
Speaker 2:That's our team name. Now it's our party name.
Speaker 1:Necrowolves, and we legitimately got skull too.
Speaker 3:yeah, yeah, you kept his skull obviously okay, he fry and panned it off here.
Speaker 2:Yeah I earned it.
Speaker 3:That's very true. That's very true. Um, you put that on the chain just like a flame walking around with a skull on a chain.
Speaker 1:Um, so when you make it into town, uh, just just imagine the star wars line, the like hive of scum and villainy is kind of what you're getting here. Is there anything that you guys do? Because when you've made it here it's later in the evening. You don't have a ton of time to kind of figure out where to stay. What is your plan to get through this first night? Tavern, Okay. Where do you leave your cart?
Speaker 3:Tavern no Tavern doesn't have a stall. No Tavern, no Tavern doesn't have a stall.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Are we able to take the cart into town through the gates?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean you're able to take it on the main roads, but most of this is small walking streets and back alleys.
Speaker 2:Is there anywhere off the main roads where it looks like we could hitch our cart?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, there's places that you could definitely hitch your cart.
Speaker 2:Is there a blacksmith shop? Possibly Would our cart fit near a blacksmith shop.
Speaker 1:There's definitely a ton. This is like this is a city city. This is a city city.
Speaker 2:Yay, I say we find a blacksmith. See if I can sell some of this bag of swords and shit I've collected.
Speaker 3:That sounds like a good plan. Yeah, we'll go there.
Speaker 2:If nothing else.
Speaker 3:maybe he might need some assistance and we stay there instead of with the common wretch. I mean, I don't like how you look down on him. We're all beautiful in Palor's eyes, but yeah, it seems like a good plan.
Speaker 2:You're three and a half feet fucking tall, do you want to go?
Speaker 1:stay there. I've stayed in worse places, so you go to the blacksmith first. As you approach, you just hear the tinging of an anvil as swords are being made and you just keep getting those looks. And as you walk in he doesn't even acknowledge that you're there. He just keeps working. And you walk in and it's a very standard looking blacksmith store, A bit more run-down than usual, but a lot of the swords. Give me history checks.
Speaker 3:Both of us sir.
Speaker 2:Can I yell at Av to watch the cart? Yeah.
Speaker 1:Ten Ooh nat 20. Nat 20 and a 10. Okay with the 10,. You don't notice too much outside of the ordinary With the nat 20, 20. This is your like. I don't want to say like your people, but this is where you came from this is my shit dealing on the streets and stuff like that and you very clearly can point out to vance like these aren't weapons that are gonna hold up in more than a couple fights yeah like he's got a selection of, like his trusted vendors that he, the people that he doesn't screw over, but the people that pass through they're getting.
Speaker 3:These ones that are going to get killed in the next fight.
Speaker 1:So you've got to be very careful with procuring goods in this town. Av stays with the cart and he still hasn't acknowledged that you guys are there. However, you do notice that behind him is a walled off section of the store that it doesn't make sense why that would be separate from anything else.
Speaker 2:Hmm, my man excuse me sir.
Speaker 1:Just ting, ting, nothing yet.
Speaker 2:And then I dropped the giant bag of swords on the ground to make it make a loud clanging noise.
Speaker 1:Okay, as soon as he hears that clanging, he slowly turns around and he goes. Ah, seems like you came ready to do business.
Speaker 3:He just turns and goes. Looks like we got a badass over here.
Speaker 1:How can I?
Speaker 2:help you two today, looking to melt some of this down and maybe turn some of it over to you, sir some of it over to you, sir.
Speaker 1:He uh, he looks in the bag and he's puzzled for a second and then he looks back and he goes. So how did a couple gentlemen like you get a lot of soldeus goods?
Speaker 2:that sounds more like a question for a man who doesn't want to do business it also sounds like a man that's protecting his hide in the middle of a war. Yeah, so you still want to ask that question or you want to melt some of this down? I?
Speaker 1:mean I do, but how do I know that this isn't some kind of like setup? I don't know who you two gentlemen are and you show up with a bunch of goods that would get me in a lot of trouble. Are you wearing a wire?
Speaker 2:If you're a cop you got to tell me I got some copper on.
Speaker 1:Essentially, you're going to need to make some kind of persuasion check to get him to accept these, considering you guys are brand new customers.
Speaker 2:Here's the thing. We came a long way. Both of us are in a lot more trouble the longer we stand here and talk about whether or not you're going to melt it down.
Speaker 1:And I don't see where that is my problem.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's not. But do you want to make the money that you would make off of this nice Sodorian still?
Speaker 3:Give me that persuasion check Vance is just like yeah, let's just say, the last town we were in burnt to the ground.
Speaker 2:I got 14.
Speaker 1:A 14,. Okay, he looks and he goes. You know what I like, how you do business. But here's the thing For first time sellers in this case, I can't give you top dollar for it. I'll give you about five or six gold for the bag, for the whole bag. I didn't stutter.
Speaker 2:Hmm, well, sounds like you aren't the only blacksmith in town either, are you? No but I am the best. Judging by your wares, you're the best. This is the best that the town has to offer.
Speaker 1:It's the best that I have to offer people I don't like.
Speaker 3:Well, what's your actual good? Because this is and I kind of tap it with my war hammer like this is yeah.
Speaker 1:And he goes, you also give a persuasion check 16. Okay, he goes. Ah well, well, you know what? If you accept my offer, just to get this off your hands, I'll show you the goods that's a terrible deal.
Speaker 3:That's who's the second best in town who's the second best? In town.
Speaker 1:He goes. Well, considering the time, I don't know if you'll make it today.
Speaker 2:I you know I understand your business tactics and I understand you're trying to keep yourself safe and make an extra buck, but the last thing you want to do in this situation is have something unfortunate happen. Like you know, your forge could just go crazy somehow.
Speaker 1:And I start raising the flames in his forge, and it'd be a damn shame if this whole place burned down behind a sad misunderstanding yeah, and it would also be very sad if a sad misunderstanding led to a group of innumerable people of the underground completely just savaging newcomers it would be.
Speaker 2:So it sounds like you know a few people on the underground, and it also sounds like you're holding out a little bit more information than you're willing to give.
Speaker 1:Listen, gentlemen.
Speaker 2:I told you my deal.
Speaker 1:I'll do five or six gold for the bag and then I will show you what this town can actually offer.
Speaker 2:I don't need the gold.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I lean in, but you're just so much taller than me, I kind of just wait for a second.
Speaker 1:Help.
Speaker 3:I just kind of whisper and I'm just like ah yeah, I mean we had to bargain. You can't just take it, but the gold's whatever.
Speaker 2:I reach in the bag and I take out my favorite dagger that I can find in the bag and then take it, but I don't the gold's whatever. I reach in the bag and I take out my favorite dagger that I can find in the bag and then I go all right, I take the offer.
Speaker 3:Okay, yeah, take everything but one, sword out Everything in the bag and then ha-ha got him, nerd Got him.
Speaker 1:He looks at the dagger and he goes, okay, fine. And he takes the bag and he puts it behind the counter and then he ushers you back into that back room and when you walk in there, this is where the black market goods are.
Speaker 1:You're pretty close to the coast and you can tell that there are swords from everywhere. It's not just Oathmaker stuff, there's Soldeus gear here All across the nation are a bunch of goods and magical items and stuff like that and he says so what, uh, what are you boys actually in the market for?
Speaker 2:and I slide the dagger back into its sheath and I just toss it to him okay uh, I want to look around and see if I see anything in there that resembles any of the infernal marks that were on the walls, or anything that might have any inscription that I could identify.
Speaker 1:Oh okay, yeah, Give me a perception check or arcana for that specifically. Vance anything for you? I?
Speaker 3:don't really need any swords or anything. 15. 15? I'm a pretty simple guy, yeah, unless there's something like really stands out.
Speaker 1:Okay, cool, I guess. Roll me an investigation just to see if, uh, anything catches your eye. 13 with the 15, you don't notice any like weapons or anything, but you do notice a couple of books that he has stash. He's a blacksmith. Sometimes people come in with books and stuff like that but there's a group of like three books in the corner, uh, that all have infernal symbols on them.
Speaker 2:Hey, dumb question Would that bag also get me those three books over there?
Speaker 1:I would say you throw in a couple extra gold and I can give you those books. I haven't been able to get them open. They seem to have been sealed Sealed.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And he hands you one of them, do you try and open it?
Speaker 2:No, I just inspect it and see if any of the symbols on it match exactly what was on the wall. I can tell that it's infernal.
Speaker 1:But Right, yes, the symbols on these books would match the symbols that you've seen. These are necrotic magic books.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, oh. Tell you what, how much gold you want for these three books and whatever my man Vance over there finds. Vance, get you a new hammer bud.
Speaker 3:I like this hammer.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but what's wrong with having two?
Speaker 3:I have another, I have a mace and I have a little worm. I have two.
Speaker 2:Oh well, never mind, Never trust. A danger groundhog.
Speaker 1:Nobody ever comes here for books. Honestly, you just pitch me a couple gold and you can have them I.
Speaker 2:I throw him two gold and then, uh, can I now? Um, I saw the books, but on my way out of walking out, I want to. I'm trying to identify if the weapons in there are things that he's made or if he's stolen or traded for mix and match.
Speaker 1:A lot of them are stuff that he's made, a lot of special requests that he thought, oh, more than one person's gonna need something like this, so you get a lot of magic imbued, uh, like glaives, and a lot of very crude weapons here is?
Speaker 3:is there just swords with their serial numbers filed off?
Speaker 1:yeah, that's what I yeah he 3d printed a couple pieces.
Speaker 2:Wow, I uh I want to stroke his ego and be like these are some nice. You made anything cool recently. Anything for anyone specific. Anything stand out for anyone.
Speaker 1:Not particularly. It's been relatively slow, with not too much going on in the war, although bad news travels fast. I don't know if you guys are refugees from Ugrinch. We had some of them show up a couple days ago.
Speaker 3:Whatever happened to Ugrange what?
Speaker 1:Roll me Deception.
Speaker 3:I think I even said Disadvantage, I think I even said the last tower and burnt down behind us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah Right, I did, I was insane. He's rolling Deception.
Speaker 3:I don't actually Okay.
Speaker 1:Okay, he, he goes. So I'm not sure if you're a part of that bunch. Most of the stuff I've been dealing with lately is a lot of cutlasses and stuff like that, because the amount of ships that have come through We've been assisting with, let's just say not the best behavior, sailors, if you catch my drift.
Speaker 3:So sailors.
Speaker 1:Pirates bud Pirates.
Speaker 3:But also just sailors, If you knew there.
Speaker 1:It's bad. It was a very specific type of behavior.
Speaker 3:I think you're a fed.
Speaker 2:I want to look. Do I recognize any other armor other than so day in that I just sold them? Do I see any armor in there that or anything that I would recognize from another fealty?
Speaker 1:It is a lot because the Oathmakers Coalition has a lot of small kingdoms and it's most of them. Essentially, if you come here and you want to pretend to be somebody in the Oathmakers Coalition or Soldeus, you're going to be able to blend in pretty good if you buy from this guy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I think I'm good, I'm going to take my books.
Speaker 3:I do want to see if there's a plus one mace or anything.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah for sure, go for it. Give me that roll. Nope, net one, net one.
Speaker 3:I poke my eye. I think this is magical.
Speaker 1:Oh, it was plus one, until you poked somebody in the eye with it.
Speaker 3:What bad luck no.
Speaker 1:I won't be mean. I will say that you were able to get a plus one, mace, yeah okay, cool.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'd like to trade for that 300 gold, put it back.
Speaker 2:No, you're good, you are good, so now you have a plus one mace um so in your dealings, in your time and your trade, uh, I got a piece of family heirloom, uh, given to me from an aunt, and you ever seen anything like this? I can't identify the stone and I just hand, hold up the amulet.
Speaker 1:You hold up the amulet and he goes oh well, good sir, I'm just a simple blacksmith, but I do know somebody that you can talk to. And he takes out a piece of paper and he writes down on a note and he says you're going to want to talk to this gentleman here, and that is where we're going to end the session oh okay, I like it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I like it.
Speaker 1:Welcome to kerr hill gentlemen, that is going to be, I believe, episode nine of monster monster. My name is tyler waltz. I've been your dm. You can find everything that I do here at monster monster or Nerd News, for just general news stuff.
Speaker 3:And I'm Tyson Cox. I played Vance Ironside and I have a new mace. And you can find me at TysonCoxComedy had to get it on my sheet so I didn't forget. I got a cave, I got a mace. This is so good. What a good day for me.
Speaker 2:This is a solid day bud You're doing good. Hey, hey everybody. I'm Brian Petrie. I play Dolan Meir Sedren, your favorite wood elf, your favorite thieving little buddy, and I just came across a dope amulet and some fun little death books.
Speaker 3:So we'll see what happens. And then a big shout out to the Crit Show for letting us use their studio. If you guys like Monster of the Week or a more modern campaign, check them out, the Crit Show.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you can find me on everything at Brian Petrie Comedy and let's go Necrowolves.
Speaker 3:Go Necrowolves. Necrowolves are the danger groundhogs Woo.
Speaker 1:Thank you everybody for watching. We'll see you in the next episode.