Monster Monster
Welcome to Monster Monster! A live play table top role playing game podcast! We are currently running our second season of D&D 5th edition
Monster Monster
S02E11 - Does This Amulet Make My Butt Look Big?
The underground markets hold more than exotic trinkets and black market goods—they conceal the entrance to a vast network of power players working beyond the reach of law and crown. When Vance, Dolo, and their new companion Dudley Wayne Budley find themselves descending beneath the dockside markets, they're stepping into a world where magic and politics intertwine with deadly consequences.
What starts as a simple transaction spirals into chaos when Dolo impulsively puts on a mysterious amulet, causing it to painfully fuse with his skin. The decision unleashes a shocking revelation as Alyssum—the woman who had previously captured our heroes—briefly possesses Dolo's body through the artifact. The trio quickly learns that removing the amulet might prove fatal, forcing a difficult choice: risk death or learn to control a magical item that threatens to steal Dolo's autonomy.
Deeper still, they meet Silva, the enigmatic leader of this underground organization, who reveals the true nature of the ongoing war. The conflict between Soldeus and Mystria is merely a facade, masking a power struggle between four shadowy figures controlling nations from behind the scenes. Alyssum, it seems, has her grip on Soldeus, while other equally dangerous players command their own territories. Silva offers our adventurers a proposition—infiltrate Alyssum's organization to undermine her influence, using the very amulet that now grants Dolo new magical abilities despite its dangerous connection.
Armed with emergency skywriting scrolls, golden emblems of Silva's organization, and newfound knowledge of the world's secret power structure, our heroes board a boat bound for Soldeus. But as they depart, Silva pulls Dudley aside with a separate, secret mission—planting seeds of potential conflict within the group just as they venture into enemy territory.
The stakes have never been higher, the magic never more dangerous, and the lines between allies and enemies never more blurred. How long can Dolo resist the amulet's influence? What awaits our adventurers in Soldeus? And what secret mission has Dudley accepted?
Subscribe now to follow the journey as our heroes navigate this web of power, possession, and peril in Monster Monster!
Previously on Monster Monster, vance and Dolo made their way to the docks to try and procure some goods for the wizard that was going to tell them more about the amulet, and ran in to a wonderful new stranger. Instead of meeting the wizard, they found out that there is more than meets the eye in these markets, and now they are on their way to see who runs them.
Speaker 2:These markets are transformers.
Speaker 1:Hello everybody, welcome to Monster Monster. I am Tyler Waltz, your DM.
Speaker 3:And Hello everybody. Welcome to Monster Monster. I am Tyler Waltz, your DM, and to my right I'm Dolo. Hey, what up? I'm Dolan Mircedrin Brian Petrie. Nice to meet y'all. Good to have you back.
Speaker 2:Hi everybody, I'm Vance Ironside, a traveling cleric who's not that bright but trying to do good in the world, played by Tyson Cox.
Speaker 3:Oh, I was supposed to introduce my character, I didn't know.
Speaker 4:That's okay. Wait, you can take my spot. No, I'm okay, hey, joey Eberling and I am playing Dudley Wayne Budley, how are you?
Speaker 1:We left off on a tense moment where the old man and the lady that we thought was his assistant are basically trying to get you guys over to Silva. With that. You were haggling to try and get some arcane goods from this jewelry store, and the whole time you were haggling with somebody that didn't even really work there, but you were able to strike a deal.
Speaker 2:In my defense, haggling with people that don't give a shit about the business, the best.
Speaker 3:Also, had I known she didn't work there, I'd have just been taking stuff.
Speaker 1:So with that you were able to get that ring and then, if I remember correctly, Vance, you were looking for something to increase wisdom. Okay, I don't think, Dudley, did you want anything.
Speaker 4:Not really Just an experience, obviously All right.
Speaker 1:So, dolo, you were able to get a ring that enhances any fire damage you do by a D4. Nice, and then Vance, you were able to get a bracelet that, while you were wearing it, you get plus one to your wisdom. Saving throws Told you. I was going to look out for you.
Speaker 1:you get plus one to your wisdom saving throws, told you I was going to look out for you. With that, you are now leaving the store and heading back down the alleyway towards the big orc at the end, and she is in front of you and she doesn't even look back, but she is asking questions, she goes. So, gentlemen, how exactly did you come about this artifact?
Speaker 3:Cave Found it just laying around.
Speaker 1:Give me them deception checks.
Speaker 2:I didn't lie. It was in a cave, correct, but he said you just found it lying around.
Speaker 1:Yeah, after we killed the guy.
Speaker 3:I ain't say none of that. I just said I found it and that is a 23. So tell me, I didn't find it.
Speaker 1:She goes ah, you just found it laying around in a cave and where exactly was this cave? South, just south. We're on the northernmost point of the continent and you answered south. That's what he said.
Speaker 2:It was the south. I don't understand. You're being really particular about honest answers.
Speaker 3:Yeah, how are we, even we, supposed to trust you, just because the old man got sick at the fact that he don't like my jacket?
Speaker 1:No, you have to trust me, because you have to in this situation, otherwise, the sheer amount of people surrounding this location would jump the shit out of you. One might say.
Speaker 4:Listen, ma'am, you know, just to be honest with you, I don't trust nobody, so you?
Speaker 3:know to be honest with you I don't trust nobody, yourself included.
Speaker 4:No disrespect meant, but I'll trust you about as far as I can throw you, and I got a bad shoulder.
Speaker 1:She goes. At least one of you is honest.
Speaker 2:Suck it nerds.
Speaker 1:Admitting the truth is a form of lying. And you make it to the end of the hallway and she nods to the orc and she goes we'll be seeing Silva. And he nods back and he hits one of the tiles on the wall, pushes in and it opens up a staircase that you guys are now descending.
Speaker 4:I give him a little. Hey, appreciate you. Begging as we pass.
Speaker 1:He just orc, grunts and nods of approval.
Speaker 3:I look up, up and I go. You smell him too, he goes, that's just hey sorry, I see it.
Speaker 4:Yeah, no, I see that happening. I'm like sorry, that's the smell of health all right, that's what that is.
Speaker 3:You know what you?
Speaker 4:can have your aluminum filled deodorants, but I'm going to be living over here in the real world, where I'm not full of GMOs and Monsanto blood. Okay.
Speaker 2:Monsanto blood Vance pulls out a plastic cutting board and just starts like taking a bite out of it.
Speaker 4:Hey you're just cutting out the middleman, so you know what Congratulations Well he wants to promote the microplastics in his balls, to just plastic. Tell me how that blood-brain barrier's doing here?
Speaker 2:I wanted an army man to come out. You know, you know what.
Speaker 4:Honestly, that would be worth it.
Speaker 3:You're like a human 3D printer.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like a resin printer. Oh God, that would be terrible.
Speaker 3:I don't know, tell him what shape you want.
Speaker 1:He'll make you something Because it takes a while for 3D printers to make the thing.
Speaker 4:It takes him a while. I got plenty of books I need to catch up on.
Speaker 1:It's an SSRI issue with him. It takes a while, but as you descend the staircase, give me insight, checks or perception 14.
Speaker 1:That's a 12. Okay, so a 14 and a 12. What a 9. You notice that the torches on the walls as you descend are not emitting any heat. As you go further, they are obstructing your view on purpose. So, essentially, as you are descending, you can notice little notches in the wall and you are being watched from every angle that you can imagine.
Speaker 1:And at the bottom of the staircase, a doorway opens up into a giant and I mean gigantic room and it almost likes. It looks like you just walked into another world, where you thought up above where they were bringing the boxes and the little storefronts and stuff like that was that was the underground. No, this is literally the underground. You've just opened up into a massive trading guild hall full of all kinds of disreputable. Everybody around has some kind of signifier tattoo just real gruff people and she pays no attention to them as she continues to walk and as you get towards the middle of it, she goes. Gentlemen, I will need you to wait here a moment while I see what Silva is up to At the moment. You're looking around and you're witnessing all kinds of weapons and jewelry. You're almost looking at the ring that you just bought and you're like son of a bitch. Everything is around and you are getting bombarded with people trying to make deals with you. Right now, and for a brief moment, I need all of you to give me dexterity, saving throws.
Speaker 2:You said wisdom saving throw right.
Speaker 4:Nope, so 22 for old Dudley Wayne.
Speaker 2:Budley 10.
Speaker 1:That's a 15.
Speaker 2:Okay, the two of you are able to feel a hand enter your pocket as you swatted into it, Vance is like oh, sorry guys, that was me, that was. I got a little excited.
Speaker 1:But, vance, you don't catch it in time as a child runs off with a pouch of coins in your pocket. How many coins?
Speaker 3:did you have 13? Seven?
Speaker 2:Oh, seven, I looked.
Speaker 1:It was less than I thought I was going to take 13 from you, so they put coins into your pocket and then took more out.
Speaker 2:Fuck, you stole my credit card.
Speaker 4:Yeah, they got you with the old double dipper.
Speaker 3:That's a good one to pull off. That's slick.
Speaker 4:Yeah, that's honestly. I think they use that as a test.
Speaker 1:It's like you got to deposit money and take it back, right? That way they're just taking their money back.
Speaker 4:It's like my.
Speaker 1:Chase account hey big banks, brother, I'll talk to you all day about how much they're robbing our pockets.
Speaker 2:Do you react in any?
Speaker 3:way. I look down and I go honestly that kid's bigger than you.
Speaker 2:He's just a kid. It wasn't much in there.
Speaker 4:Hey, good work, I just yell nice hands.
Speaker 1:As the kid scurries off, you hear him go that one's vulnerable and he points the hands.
Speaker 3:Oh, you've been marked as the weak of the pack. At least he doesn't have anything else to take.
Speaker 2:I was like I got nothing else. I don't even have dignity.
Speaker 1:At about that time the assistant comes back and goes okay, we are able to talk to Silva.
Speaker 2:Can you do me a favor? No.
Speaker 1:Next question, please. What do you need?
Speaker 2:A child just robbed me.
Speaker 1:Not my problem. All right, you should be better how much did they steal?
Speaker 2:Like an 85 gold dude. I had so much money. You're leaning in A 10? I got a 12 on the dice she goes. I'm not trying to get one over. It's clearly like I'm embarrassed how little money I have.
Speaker 1:She looks at you and she goes Honey, you didn't goes, honey, you didn't have 85 gold Seven.
Speaker 4:That was palpable to watch.
Speaker 1:She pulls seven gold Like this is real embarrassing for you.
Speaker 4:Oh, don't do it, don't take it Just don't take it.
Speaker 1:She pulls seven gold out and she goes it's okay. It happens Before she gives it to him't take it. Just don't take it. She pulls seven gold out and she goes it's okay it happens.
Speaker 3:Before she gives it to him, I take it and I go. He don't need this.
Speaker 2:Honestly, we're just donating to the children if you can't do that.
Speaker 1:If you would have taken that money, a second child would have, without a doubt, pushed you over and took it.
Speaker 2:And pushed me over. It's an orc team, just a seven foot tall man, no halfling, oh no.
Speaker 1:So you enter through a few more doorways it's hard to keep track of where you are because of all just the winding hallways to keep Silva as hidden as possible and you enter the room and it's a very small room with a desk at the end of it and four guards all decked out in armor and you can't see the person sitting there. It's silhouetted, but she's sitting there with her hands on her leg. That's crossed over and she goes Gundam style.
Speaker 3:Cruel intentions Gundam style. Cruel intentions Gundam style. That's an old ass reference. Mine was older.
Speaker 1:You guys are showing your age.
Speaker 2:But at least everyone knew the references.
Speaker 1:That's true, and she goes. It's not every day that three random gentlemen are brought to me for what seems to be no reason other than some artifact in their pocket.
Speaker 2:She called us a gentleman. That's pretty cool.
Speaker 3:I also don't believe that I feel like several gentlemen have been brought to you for random reasons.
Speaker 1:You calling me a.
Speaker 3:Is this how we're?
Speaker 1:starting our relationship.
Speaker 3:I didn't know we were in a relationship. I'm sweating now. This is wonderful.
Speaker 2:Tentolo's just cheesing.
Speaker 1:And she goes okay, I don't particularly have time to fiddle around with small talk. Show me what you got.
Speaker 3:And then I go to unbuckle my pants.
Speaker 1:We've been here before, Dolo this is your last warning I got to say hanging out with you guys is interesting, this is fun.
Speaker 2:I'm starting to think it's Silva's birthday or maybe bachelorette party.
Speaker 3:All right, I'm going to try it again. I take out the amulet and I'm going to put it on. You're going to put it on.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm, give me that wisdom. Save Brian, I'm doing it.
Speaker 2:I wish I could help.
Speaker 1:Der Dolo, that was I was. I was worried for Brian.
Speaker 3:That's horrible.
Speaker 1:Oh no.
Speaker 3:That's horrible. It was a chance.
Speaker 2:I took it Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3:I took it Even with the modifier it's not much.
Speaker 4:No, that's a seven.
Speaker 1:That is not an 18 it was close if it had kept going.
Speaker 4:Yeah, the if it had landed on something else you'd have been there.
Speaker 1:I'd have been there okay. Okay, this is thrilling. Uh, you take 15 necrotic damage, okay, and in that moment it's, it's almost like it's fire. It's searing pain as it burns through your clothes and melts to your skin.
Speaker 3:So it's part of me now.
Speaker 1:Well, it's not all the way in, but it's almost like it has been sealed to your skin.
Speaker 4:Okay, that's the fluorocarbons in the steel that they use.
Speaker 1:It melded with the microplastics.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I see, I've been telling you, that's why I don't wear jewelry.
Speaker 1:And in that moment, the four guards immediately draw their weapons. As Dolo loses consciousness, I grab him, you just like romantically yeah, do you make a noise or anything?
Speaker 3:Because?
Speaker 1:he's heavy consciousness. I grab him Romantically. Yeah, do you make a noise or anything?
Speaker 4:Because he's heavy. I'm a dwarf. You need a hand there, bud.
Speaker 2:He's so much bigger than me I just have him by his hips to ribs, so his head is like thump on the floor.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's going to leave an egg, take an additional D4 budget. Pop to the nog, and as you lose consciousness, you don't wake up, but your eyes open and you stand back up as an ethereal voice Exits your body and goes Ah, gentlemen, it seems we meet again and you two recognize this as the voice of the lady that captured you back in Ugrin.
Speaker 4:I don't believe we've had the pleasure holy shit nothing surprises me yeah, alyssum.
Speaker 1:And she goes. I see that you've dealt with my necromancer friend and she's kind of looking around the room and she goes ah, silva, so this is where you're held up now. That's good to know. And she leaves Dolo's body and Silva leans forward into the light where you can see her face, and she looks like she is filled with every bit of righteous fury.
Speaker 2:I move my hand up the back of Dolo's back and be like see we're working on a ventriloquist.
Speaker 1:That's pretty good, right? Dolo has regained consciousness back into his own body.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, you get it. Look at that here. Watch this. Drink some water. Drink some water. I'll keep talking.
Speaker 1:I'll sing a song you're going through with this I'm trying, all right give me a performance check with this advantage for sure 16. You might have this because she rolled with advantage and got a three and a one.
Speaker 2:Oh, wow.
Speaker 1:So she looks at you and she goes. I don't even know how to play this off now.
Speaker 4:I shouldn't have even had you roll for it.
Speaker 3:Yeah you shouldn't have you fucked up. I did fuck up.
Speaker 1:She goes hang on. And she sends a guard over to touch the amulet and it is completely glued to you. Now she sends a guard over to touch the amulet and it is completely glued to you now. And she goes clearly you've confused her. And she goes hang on, listen, I can't take any risks, even if that was a joke. And she goes what a wild time to fuck with an amulet that you didn't know what to do.
Speaker 2:And she's just flabbergasted with you guys right now. Well, we figured you know about the stuff, so we figured well here look at this.
Speaker 1:Well, what good can I do now? Look, it's fused to his skin.
Speaker 3:I didn't want you to take it.
Speaker 1:You didn't know I was going to do that.
Speaker 3:I didn't need to know. But if it was on my body and you tried to take it, I stood a better chance. If it was in my pocket or in my hand, you could have just magically snatched it from me.
Speaker 2:Well, you know, there's no. We're here now I found it. So let's work together as a team to figure out what to do next. Am I right? You agree, I'm?
Speaker 1:sure yeah, we got two, all in favor say aye, aye, okay, all right, listen, this is what we're going to have to do. I'm going to have one of my employees look at that amulet and they're going to identify exactly what it does and then, if we have to, we'll cut it off of you. How?
Speaker 3:does that sound? Yeah?
Speaker 2:It sounds like I'm going to burn a lot of y'all, are you? I lean over to Budley Wayne Dudley, this is how you get an identify spell for free.
Speaker 4:Wow, what a move man, the long con.
Speaker 1:She goes what's your name? Dolo? Dolo, please come with me or with my employees, and she tries to send you off with a couple of her guards.
Speaker 3:You coming too. I'm not going anywhere. I ain't going nowhere with you, I ain't going with them.
Speaker 1:I don't think you want to do this. I don't think I want to go nowhere with them.
Speaker 3:What's going to be? What's the worst that's going to happen? You going to snatch this out of my body.
Speaker 1:No, we can identify it on a corpse.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think we should figure out what we got going on there.
Speaker 1:She goes look, there's nothing that I'm going to do to you now. It just all depends on what we find out about this amulet, the two of you. I have something else in mind for you two.
Speaker 2:Oh, I don't want to leave.
Speaker 4:I don't even know these guys. Oh, we met him today.
Speaker 1:Oh he's leaving you regardless. You're not going with him.
Speaker 2:I don't like that.
Speaker 4:So, if you'll excuse me, I'm actually I was in the middle of getting some supplies. I'm just going to pop off back.
Speaker 1:Oh well, now you're, the supplies will still be there. Well, dolo, are you steadfast in not going, or are you going to go and let them try and identify it?
Speaker 3:I mean, I don't really have a choice. It sounds like you always have a choice. No, my choice is death Well yeah, or fighting, but I don't know how strong this lady is.
Speaker 2:And I look around the room and there's probably a lot of folk.
Speaker 1:There's just the four guards that you see right now Four guards and her and then, of course, her assistant.
Speaker 4:Yeah, but this guy got double-dipped by a child. I don't really.
Speaker 3:He did he double-dipped the chip. All right, how many guards am I walking away with? Two? Yeah, don't touch me. I'll follow y'all, but don't touch me.
Speaker 1:No, they won't touch you, just just let us identify it the two of you. You two will actually come with me, uh, and she heads off down a hallway with you and then you are heading into another room where you see basically an exam table, and then you see a person in full just stereotypical wizard's robes with some ornate symbols on it. Give me an arcana check.
Speaker 2:As she's like leaning around, you'll, too, come with us. I'm like I think this is back to the Bachelorette thing.
Speaker 4:It's either a great time or a horrible time. No in between.
Speaker 2:Get your hips loose regardless.
Speaker 4:I stay loose brother, brother, gentlemen, you'll need more than your hips loose all right, that's a 21 a 21 on arcana.
Speaker 1:You notice that every single symbol on his coat is some kind of protection symbol, like there's one for illusion magic ab abjuration like every school of magic symbol is on this jacket. It's like a protection sigil. It would be hard pressed to do anything to this guy that involves magic. And he turns around and he's like big bug eyed and he goes ah, I see that there's been another person that's been brought to me to see Just please get in the chair. And he's like wiry. He's got like glasses on, like it's the set of glasses that are magnifying, where they have a bunch of lenses hanging off of them that he can like scoop in.
Speaker 2:He's an optometrist.
Speaker 3:He's Bell's dad from Beauty and the Beast. What you saying? He's that little weird guy, sure.
Speaker 1:It's been a very long time since I've seen Beauty and the Beast Not since I was a kid. Go home watch it tonight, Go watch it tonight. There goes the baker making bread like always Gosh, I don't, I was maybe 45.
Speaker 3:You don't remember? It was Crazy, old Maurice.
Speaker 2:Raving all night.
Speaker 3:Crazy Old Maurice.
Speaker 1:This is gun to my head. I have no idea what you guys are talking about right now. Sorry, I do no idea what you guys are talking about right now. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Sorry, I do like how they were. Like Belle's weird, she reads she reads books.
Speaker 3:Her father invents things so strange.
Speaker 4:What a crackpot. Belle wants to vote. Hasn't she seen how strong I am.
Speaker 3:And afraid for his daughter, lock him away A raving lunatic, grab the lobotomizer.
Speaker 1:Do you get on the table?
Speaker 3:Did Gaston eat 12 dozen eggs?
Speaker 4:I don't know Every morning to get large. He did I don't know. Now he's the size of a barge.
Speaker 1:I know that a bunch of people got turned into appliances right around the place.
Speaker 3:That's what I'm worried about happening to me A washer and dryer.
Speaker 4:That's Dave he got turned into a Cuisinart.
Speaker 3:A George Foreman grill.
Speaker 4:He's angled, so it's 90% less fat.
Speaker 1:The movie I watched wasn't Beauty and the Beast, it was Average and the Dog.
Speaker 4:You're thinking of Brave Little Toaster.
Speaker 2:That's what you're thinking of. My bad, there's just a closet full of slap chops.
Speaker 4:I swear to God they used me again. This sucks.
Speaker 2:I think that's got the best stuff and I'm a fucking slap chop. He becomes human again. His teeth are just all jacked and he's got CTE. You know I'm allergic to garlic.
Speaker 4:I can't wait till we get a French vacuum cleaner. Oh man, they don't laugh. She sucks, no, so do I. He's so bad.
Speaker 3:Call me up.
Speaker 2:I'm going to get you.
Speaker 1:Anyway.
Speaker 2:Do you think the bidet in the toilet would be two people?
Speaker 4:Absolutely, and they just have the thousand yard stare.
Speaker 2:I've seen some shit. Yeah, man, I've been through it.
Speaker 4:Brace Bill, brace Bill. The therapy session after what?
Speaker 2:was it like Well, it was like having a garden hose shoved up your ass till you vomited water under someone's butthole.
Speaker 3:How do you think it was?
Speaker 1:Man, we gotta make this movie.
Speaker 4:I got to be a clock. The brave, no, no no, I have to tell time. I have to tell time. People literally shit at me.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I get in the chair. Oh, gosh Phewew. So you lay down in the seat. No, I sit in the chair.
Speaker 1:You said sit in the chair. I ain't laying down yet, not with him, okay. So he he is like walking around you and like moving his fingers. He's like, oh my gosh, and he's like looking at it. He's like what he's messing with the glasses and stuff like that and he's looking and he looks into the gym and he starts writing some things down and then he goes back over to his table and you can hear things getting mixed and stuff like that and he looks and he goes.
Speaker 3:Okay, well, clearly we know Jiggerbomb.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah yeah, bite down on this. He goes okay so we clearly know that it's necrotic magic. He's just kind of rambling through. Roll me either perception or arcana to see what you want to try and hear, because you're trying to pick out key words in like a madman rambling kind of.
Speaker 3:I'm going to go with perception and I got an 18.
Speaker 1:Okay, you got an 18. So, as he's rambling, you get very few words out of it. So that means it's combined with illusion. Okay, so the illusion is driving the necromancy, which means that the necromancy has imbued itself with creating.
Speaker 3:So you're basically getting little pieces of it. I start doing like this while he's talking. Okay, just trying to put it together. I'm winding it up with him.
Speaker 1:And then he comes back with a vial of a bright blue liquid and he goes.
Speaker 4:can I try something.
Speaker 1:Do I have a choice? You do have a choice. What are you going to try? I'm going to pour this liquid on you and see what happens. Oh, I get to keep my clothes on right, yeah, yeah, oh, I get to keep my clothes on, right, yeah, uh, yeah, if you don't want it to to get wet or maybe dissolved. I don't know what this lick was gonna do yet.
Speaker 3:uh, you may want to like remove your clothes around the amulet oh yeah, all right, so I'm gonna just do like the whole shoulder drop down thing, okay, and then I stand there vulnerable with my nipples out okay, yeah, right, yeah, give us an example.
Speaker 2:Why is your shirt cut like that?
Speaker 3:I don't know, it wasn't like that when I came in here.
Speaker 1:So you let him try it. Yeah, okay, what happened? Did I miss him?
Speaker 4:Positive affirmations.
Speaker 1:I just sent him a text.
Speaker 2:He's like hey, you're doing a good job, Keep it up. So, I got to go, good job keep it up, so I gotta go, so when he pours the liquid over you. I need you to make a constitution saving throw as God poison starts to play. What is it Pour? Some sugar on me.
Speaker 1:That's not poison. Is it Def Leppard? I don't believe so. 11. Who is that? Oh, this is gonna drive me nuts. No, it's Def Leppard. Is it Def Leppard? I don't believe so. 11. Who is that? Oh, this is going to drive me nuts.
Speaker 3:No, it's Def Leppard.
Speaker 1:Is it Def Leppard? Yeah, okay, correct, I didn't write the first time. Yeah, you did, yeah, you did.
Speaker 3:It's on the mic, I doubted you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's starting to peel away from your skin, uh, but it doesn't quite make it. And he looks at you and he goes how's your constant? How are you gonna be able to last a few rounds of this?
Speaker 3:yeah, let's go. Do you want me to take it off? I don't know what happens if I leave it in.
Speaker 1:Then we're going to have to figure out an alternative solution with Silva, and I don't know how she's going to react to that.
Speaker 3:But what if it's a part of me now and I don't want to?
Speaker 1:leave. Well, from what I've gathered, it does seem like this amulet could also benefit you. To leave it on, it does look like it will enhance some of your natural magic abilities. However, there is always that pretty big chance that your body could get taken over in, by my estimations, seven to ten days. Taken over by what I'm assuming, the woman that spoke in the lobby.
Speaker 3:Oh, so she's trying to become me through the amulet.
Speaker 1:It sure seems like it oh, can I become her? She was hot I know it's, it's. Your priorities are all kinds of weird, aren't they?
Speaker 2:hang on. Then we do flashbacks to all the time that I'm hitting on her and dolo's like well, hang on.
Speaker 3:I don't want to do that anymore.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't want her to become me or me to become her well, while you're wearing the amulet, it seems as though if you do have any illusion or necrotic magic, it would just make it astronomically good. And at about that time we cut over to the two of you walking with Silva.
Speaker 4:Nice place you got here.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you, we've put it. Took many hands to make this, mostly mine, but it's okay. I've been around for a while. That's neither here nor there.
Speaker 4:You want to talk about that. Huh, you want to talk about that.
Speaker 1:Not right now. Not right now. We've got some pressing matters.
Speaker 4:I've got an ear, you want to bend it.
Speaker 1:I'm here. Your friend has just put on an amulet that looks like is controlled by the woman that we although we're not necessarily the good guys according to the law, Tell me about it.
Speaker 4:Who is right? Yeah? It's whoever's got the most money is the good guys.
Speaker 3:These days Am.
Speaker 4:I right, she gets it.
Speaker 1:Well.
Speaker 2:I have the most money.
Speaker 4:Well, you know, but you're not. You know.
Speaker 2:I'm a.
Speaker 4:Oh, wait a minute, I'm a. Oh, wait a minute.
Speaker 2:I'm a cleric, so actually I got some opinions about some stuff. Hey don't we all dude.
Speaker 1:And she goes. I don't know how it's going to turn out with your friend and our scientist, huh, but if that woman got any idea where we are, we have been pushing back against her for a while. She doesn't like that. I am one of the few people that knows who she is and I have been pushing back as much as I can against her transgressions, let's just say, because she's messing with my bottom dollar and it sounds like somehow the three of you have gotten connected with her as well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she tried to overthrow her election and we were like nah, and so she's now pretty cheesed off at us.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, I just met these guys today.
Speaker 4:Again, just to reiterate. I told the guy at the gate I was like I'll keep an eye on him and I didn't have anything else going on today.
Speaker 1:So here I am Okay on a scale of 1 to 10, gentlemen, how uninvolved with the government do you want to be?
Speaker 4:Oh, how much time you got.
Speaker 2:I'm not really from here, so I don't really have.
Speaker 4:If by government you mean secret shadow organization that controls every move and tries to keep their hands in our pockets, then I want no part of it, okay.
Speaker 2:I think that's.
Speaker 1:That's who we would be fighting.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, I thought that was you guys.
Speaker 1:Well, like there's the government right.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And then there's, like this, shadow government that is controlling the government. Neither one of them are good.
Speaker 4:I want to make that very clear, Listen call me Pinocchio, because I don't want no strings on me. Oh, all right, yeah.
Speaker 1:This is more of a we deal with one, then we deal with the other type situation.
Speaker 2:Well, we're kind of tied up in that. What is it? A lissum? So we'd like to not have her around anymore.
Speaker 1:Gotcha. Okay, well, let me fill you, gentlemen, in.
Speaker 4:Maybe I'll fill you in afterwards. I didn't mean that to sound flirtatious, it just did it sounded like you wanted to have sex with me. Well, he keeps his hips loose. Nothing's off the table but continue.
Speaker 1:Patreon.
Speaker 3:No, I was like.
Speaker 1:She goes have you met anyone? I'm trying to be vague and maybe I don't need to be have you only met Alyssum? When it comes to these sorts of dealings, yeah, I think so right.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, to my knowledge.
Speaker 1:Okay. Well, alyssum is not the only issue going on with the world right now. I'm assuming you guys are all caught up with the war that's been going on the last three years, how it seems like it's between Soldeus and Mystria, which is the magic country that we just now got the name of. However, it's more of a competition. It's a pissing contest between the most powerful people in the world.
Speaker 4:Yeah, what isn't right? Yeah?
Speaker 1:However, the people that are in power according to the general public is not who, it seems. Alyssum is the one that seems to have a stranglehold on Soldeus, and she seems to be beefing with this monarch of sorts in Mystria the other two for our land and the kingdom of Luxpin. Sorts in Mystria, the other two for Our Land and the Kingdom of Luxpin are kind of picking sides. This is a huge endeavor that I don't have time to catch all of you up on, but it seems like you have only met Alyssum.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Would you be interested in joining in with our organization to spear front, taking out one of these?
Speaker 4:You see that Dudley is half erect and like slicked with sweat because he's so excited to get all of this information.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I bet he's like oh man, I'm on the forums. You're going to be so popular.
Speaker 1:Your vlog is going to be wild.
Speaker 4:Listen. Yeah, the red letters is going to go live tonight. Just on the rumble scry yeah right below my musings on Hollow Earth, I'm going to get the real truth out.
Speaker 1:As soon as she finishes up with that, you just hear Dolo screaming down the hallway.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean it doesn't sound like I have much of a choice on my end. I mean, yeah, we'll work together with you, but I need my buddy with that.
Speaker 1:Oh yes, we just want the amulet, if we're being honest. But with our support we can get you many places that you otherwise wouldn't have access to.
Speaker 2:I mean, I can't really make a decision proper without him.
Speaker 4:so Okay, I just met these guys, I'm in, I'll go wherever you want. If you want me to fight a shadow government, okay, you point me in the direction and say go.
Speaker 1:All right, oh what a day we cut back to Dolo. Can you give me two more Constitution saving throws?
Speaker 2:Can I get my buddy some heels?
Speaker 3:Is he still trying to pour this stuff on me? To get it off, if you agreed to it. What if I don't want him to?
Speaker 1:Oh, if you don't want him to, then that would be another conversation with Silva.
Speaker 3:I was like I got lay on hands and we can lawnmower that off you. What if I ask the wizard if there is a way, since I am an elf in my meditative state, if I can attune myself to it and learn how to use it?
Speaker 1:He looks at you and he goes. That would be incredibly risky, but you can try. Just know that if you fail it could lead to calamity.
Speaker 3:What kind of calamity. I like a little calamity.
Speaker 1:Well, do you like having control of your body? Not always.
Speaker 2:You should see my weekends it's a day party. I see my weekends.
Speaker 1:The risk that you would be taking is that Alyssum would gain control of your body for longer and longer periods of time, until she completely has control over you. So as time goes on, you will need to resist, and the longer you resist, the more control you'll gain over the amulet. But it essentially will be a horrendous tug-of-war of your mind.
Speaker 3:Let's try one more time to see if it comes off.
Speaker 1:Okay, and if not, I'm going in Give me that constitution.
Speaker 2:Then you can get it off, use it to barter something nice out of him.
Speaker 3:Maybe that's not going to be good A nine.
Speaker 1:Okay, you take nine more. Damage, jesus, as the amulet just will not come off.
Speaker 3:Well, looks like I'm going to learn how to use this thing, because if I go, it happens to everybody.
Speaker 1:Unsponsored hymns listen to the previous episode for that callback.
Speaker 2:It's not for hair or underwear. If you know what I mean, your loin boneless. If I try again, he's likely to kill me like if he's doing big screams and like we've already had our conversation, vance would want to go and make sure he's like being healed and not just being tortured for sure.
Speaker 1:What is your yay?
Speaker 3:or nay on keeping on or taking it off uh, the wizard doesn't seem like he can get it off he roll me an insight.
Speaker 1:Check it's a five. It's a five. Okay, the the insight that you were. Essentially, what you're getting is that he doesn't give a shit about you. So if you say yes and die, he doesn't. He doesn't care, he's gonna figure out. That's how I feel right now.
Speaker 3:I feel like he's testing a potion yes he's so kooky and crazy, he's just experimenting we're all guinea pigs bro.
Speaker 4:Yeah, we're all just in the system.
Speaker 3:Baby, I'm not about to die at the hands of Big Pharma.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean. That is his nickname, by the way, big.
Speaker 4:Pharma, the Wizard of Big Pharma.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm going to be like hey, bud, I got an idea. Do you mind if we talk to your lady, ma'am?
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely. And then do you join up with them? Yeah, she sees you walk in with the amulet still on and she goes okay, let's see if we can figure out something. She hands a poison over to Vance and she goes look, we don't have time to mess with this right now. We need to get you gentlemen on the road. Oh, also, I propose that we join forces to deal with Alyssum or one or the other. They can fill you in. I gave them a lot of context for what's going on.
Speaker 2:However, I would like to put the three of you on a boat to Soldeus to try and infiltrate Alyssum's forces.
Speaker 1:It'd basically get her off our back there, dolo. Alright, it's more like trying to get you on her back, you know, I mean that's not what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:But that's not what I'm not saying.
Speaker 3:You men are terrible.
Speaker 1:This is like my Christmas and she hands over the poisoned advance and she goes. I know it's not a pleasant thought, but if he loses control to that amulet, you will need to use this.
Speaker 2:What causes amulets to Well, hey, when we killed that necromancer, the amulet unfused right Like it was dead and the amulet was just loosey-goosey ready to grab.
Speaker 3:It was just kind of sitting in the robe because there was no body left over.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Do you think if we killed you it would come off, and then I can heal you up again?
Speaker 3:No. It was just a thought, no, I'm going to go back to the wizard you keep talking.
Speaker 2:I go over and I lay on hands.
Speaker 1:To heal up Dolo, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2:I mean it's not a bad thought, Like he'll only be dead for a little bit hey listen, we're throwing spaghetti, okay. I get it.
Speaker 1:So with that you guys agree to head further into Sol Deus to try and infiltrate Alyssum right, and you are keeping the amulet because they couldn't get it off.
Speaker 3:I got an idea Okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's not let your friend kill you and heal you up again.
Speaker 1:God no Are we getting on the boat. That's the next thing.
Speaker 3:Yes, Okay, yeah, that's what I'm doing. I'm leaving it on my body.
Speaker 1:Okay, you're leaving it on your body.
Speaker 2:Can we get a bunch of that uh potion stuff and then maybe we slowly work it off you, because it wasn't like progressively coming off more and more?
Speaker 1:it was. It was a situation where his constitution checks basically made it to where the wizard could keep, because it was actively fusing as they were trying to pull it off okay so it was like uh, he couldn't quite hold it down long enough to get it all the way off?
Speaker 2:What if I'm just healing you while they're taking it off?
Speaker 3:I know it's unpleasant, but what if you're just healing me while I'm trying to attune it?
Speaker 2:Well, I don't, I don't think, I can't heal your mind, no that's okay, just don't let me die.
Speaker 4:I Let me die. I can handle my mind, jensen is good for that.
Speaker 3:You have any.
Speaker 2:Maybe Can I do an arcana check to see if that's how that works. Sure 16.
Speaker 1:16. It would keep him from physically dying, but it would not stop his mind from getting taken over. Yeah, let's do it. What's the worst that could happen? Okay, so you're keeping the amulet. That is the decision for Reiner I don't have a choice.
Speaker 3:It's part of my body. I can't get it off and I'm not going to die trying.
Speaker 1:She goes alright, gentlemen, I would like to keep in contact with you just to see how your adventures are going. I would like to keep in contact with you just to see how your adventures are going. She hands you a scroll and it is a scroll of skywriting and she goes. If, at any point, there is an emergency and you are within Sol Deus, where most of our people are working, you use this, leave the message and we will send soldiers your way.
Speaker 3:And I look at her and'm just like scratching at my neck. Hey man, you let that dude do some weird shit to me. We can't get no healing potions or nothing around here. We can't at least send us off with a care package? We doing your bidding.
Speaker 1:Oh, the wizard has healing, did you not?
Speaker 3:Okay, he's just that way, he's just that way, he's just that way, he's just that way he's interesting.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, he doesn't care about people. All he cares about is science and magic.
Speaker 3:Oh, no, no, we gathered that, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:He forgets that people are. I think you guys get it yeah, more of a mad scientist that ends justify the means type. We keep him around cause he's good at his job. This is his last name Waltz, it could be?
Speaker 4:Does he know how to dance?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and she gives you a metal. The last thing that she gives you is a metal emblem of, of basically her organization and she goes do not show this to anybody. That you are not completely confident works for me. However, if you do meet anybody on the road, that works for me. This will get you many places. It's a metal like. What's it made out of? A gold? Yeah, it's a little gold emblem, probably like three ish inches across.
Speaker 2:I hand mine to Dola. I'm like you're going to hold on to this for me. I am not great at keeping gold on the body.
Speaker 3:Yeah, there's a crowd of children. Yeah, right.
Speaker 1:I look over at the little kids that are standing there. They're just always watching.
Speaker 4:Yeah, they're locked on you like an owl.
Speaker 3:A group of crows.
Speaker 1:But with that you guys will get the evening. You'll be able to rest up, get fully healed and then the next morning we will be heading out into Soldeus.
Speaker 3:Instead of healing, can I meditate and see if I can figure out anything about this amulet that is attached to my body?
Speaker 1:Yes, so I'm guessing none of you have an identify or anything like that we didn't get a free identify spell in this process give me arcana check yeah, give me 15 15.
Speaker 1:Okay, so you are able to draw some of the magic from it and you are able to now, uh and I don't know if you want to write this down, but you're able to get a new illusory spell that is attuned to how you normally like to use fire. So now you can make fake fire that people view as burning them. So you will do psychic damage, uh, but you are now able to create illusionary fire. I love it, and it does the damage that a firebolt would do.
Speaker 1:So it's essentially a different kind of firebolt that does psychic damage. Yeah, bruh, but with that, when it is morning, I need you to make me another wisdom saving throw.
Speaker 2:Oh, you have to roll this often. That's not good.
Speaker 3:Nice, 20.
Speaker 1:20, all right, you are able to push back against the amulet. The three of you load up on a boat and I'm sure you oh this is Halloween, easter, all the. Halloweens, my birthday. This is all of it. She approaches you specifically, hey there, and she goes hey, before you leave Okay, Remember that promise you made me.
Speaker 4:These hips are loose.
Speaker 1:She goes well, we don't have time for that.
Speaker 4:You'd be surprised, but I do.
Speaker 1:She's like no, I wouldn't. But I do have a mission for you specifically. Hit me, I need you.
Speaker 4:It's the people on the moon, isn't it?
Speaker 1:Yeah right, she pulls you to the side and she goes. You know about the moon people? No, she goes. I don't know. Brian, you're right. That's funny she goes. I don't know if I can trust either of them.
Speaker 4:You can't trust me either.
Speaker 2:That's exactly why I can trust you.
Speaker 1:That's why I like you. That's exactly why I can trust you. That's why I like you. That's exactly why I like you. I need you to keep tabs on them, however, once you make it to Sildeus, and then she writes down on a piece of paper and then she hands it over to you, and with that is, I believe, where we're going to end this episode. My name is Tyler Waltz and I have been your DM. Thank you everybody for watching. My name is Tyler Waltz. I have been your DM. Thank you everybody for watching. My name is Tyler.
Speaker 3:Waltz, I have been your DM and to my right, dolanmir Sedrin, I have been your favorite little roguing elf. My name is Brian Petrie. You can find me at all things. Brian Petrie comedy.
Speaker 2:Hell yeah, and I'm Tyson Cox. You can find me at Tyson Cox comedy. I play Vance Ironside and, if you like, the. We do it live twice a month all over the place, at least the first Wednesday at Louisville Planet of the Tapes, the second Tuesday of every month at White Rabbit Cabaret in Indianapolis, indiana. And then we also have other shows popping up and I believe this is a Gen Con era time to plug it. So if you're at Gen Con, look us up. We've got a bunch of shows. It's a bunch of stand-up variety show and a couple of Monster Monsters live stand-up variety show and a couple of Monster Monsters Live yeah and last and certainly
Speaker 4:not least, hey, joe Eberling. I have been your favorite conspiracy theorist ranger, dudley Wayne Budley, and you can find me on Instagram at Mr J Eberling. I do funny stuff sometimes, so follow me there and thank you for listening.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thank you all for watching. We really appreciate it.