Monster Monster
Welcome to Monster Monster! A live play table top role playing game podcast! We are currently running our second season of D&D 5th edition
Monster Monster
S02E12 - Shadows and Stabbos
The quiet hum of a cargo ship cutting through ocean waters quickly gives way to chaos as our heroes arrive at the Soldeus port only to face an ambush they never saw coming.
Vance Ironsides' special vision suddenly becomes both blessing and curse as he identifies strange shadow creatures disguised as ordinary dock workers throughout the port. His desperate whispered warning to Dolo and Dudley transforms what should have been a routine docking into a fight for survival. These aren't ordinary enemies—they're shadow people, beings literally made of darkness who have infiltrated the port and seem determined to prevent our heroes from completing their mission for Silva.
What follows is a desperate scramble through the port as the team attempts to reach the city proper. Dolo's quick thinking and magical abilities clash against the unnatural powers of these shadow beings, while Dudley's remarkable archery skills become their greatest asset. When the shadow people block their escape route, Dudley makes the crucial discovery that certain crates on the dock contain explosives—the same materials that could clear their path forward.
In the most heart-wrenching moment of their journey yet, Dudley sacrifices himself to ensure Vance and Dolo's escape. As their cart races toward the city entrance, Dudley launches one perfect, heroic shot at an explosive crate, creating an opening through the shadow blockade. The blast propels him backward into the spreading flames engulfing the docks, while Vance and Dolo push onward into Soldeus with their cart, horses (both named Brandon, of course), and their companion Av.
Now separated from Dudley and still unclear about the full scope of their mission, Vance and Dolo must navigate a foreign city filled with unknown dangers. The shadow people clearly don't want them in Soldeus—but why? What secrets might they uncover as they search for the contact Silva promised would be waiting? And what became of Dudley after his heroic last stand?
Listen to discover how our remaining heroes will face these challenges and whether they'll uncover the truth behind the shadow people's presence in Soldeus. Will they complete their mission, or have they already fallen into a trap that's only beginning to close around them?
There's shadow people, yeah, but like literally made of shadow.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and there's a couple of them are around, oh, Previously on Monster, monster, vance, dolo and Dudley met Silva, the leader of the underground in Kerhill, and struck a quick deal after realizing the amulet that is now fused to Dolo cannot be removed. They are now on their way to Soldeus to confront Alyssum. So we're getting right into it, guys. Essentially, you wake up in the morning, you are already on the boat and we are heading out. All you know is that you are heading into Soldeus to get another contact. Except for Dudley, who has been given some additional information that we'll see as the episode plays out, it'll be a pretty short trip.
Speaker 2:Soldeus is the closest country to Kerr Hill, so it will really only be a day trip and you're not really expecting anything crazy to happen. This is a very standard procedure, cool For the day before we make it to Sildeus. Are you doing any kind of prep? Is there anything that you guys are thinking like, hey, when we do, now is your time to discuss a game plan or get whatever ready that you think you need hmm, no, nothing I can think of.
Speaker 3:I'm loaded up on weaponry. I'm fully healed. I've learned a new spellolo. I'm loaded up on weaponry. I'm fully healed. I've learned a new spell from that. I still got my ring. I think I'm good Okay.
Speaker 4:I'm just polishing my daggers and checking my bow. I'm just making a real show of it too.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 4:Just all of it laid out. It's not as impressive when you dismantle a bow, but I still got it all dismantled. I'm doing the whole blindfold thing where I put my crossbow back together.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, yes, all right, so no.
Speaker 3:I do have one question. I only brought with me my cleaver and a couple darts and daggers that fit in my trench coat. What are we doing with our cart that we parked outside the city?
Speaker 2:Oh, it would have been loaded up on the boat.
Speaker 3:It's a big cargo ship. Okay, so we got our cart.
Speaker 2:And Av pops out.
Speaker 3:She's like oh hey.
Speaker 4:Ah hey, nice to meet you, Dudley Wayne Budley oh hi, I'm Av.
Speaker 2:I've been part of the adventure since pretty much the beginning. They tend to not like me. They say I do things that are odd, but then they don't really tell me how to. They're an odd bunch, aren't they? Hey, weren't we all? Yep? But I've been watching the cart the last couple days.
Speaker 4:Hey, that's a good rule.
Speaker 3:Anything cool happen you meet anybody out there?
Speaker 2:Oh, I met a couple of people that tried to rob the cart, but they're dead now, so it's fine, nice, you get anything cool off of them. No, it was just some random little daggers and stuff like that.
Speaker 1:It was just small children. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:They said woo, we got seven gold from this piece of shit and then like oh, they're dead now.
Speaker 4:Yeah, they're dead now, yeah.
Speaker 3:See, this is why we keep. She's a half-orc now.
Speaker 2:She was a human soldier before she's bulked up the cart and everything was able to get loaded up Nice.
Speaker 3:I got my frying pan back. We got a bunch of those swords.
Speaker 2:I thought you sold all the swords.
Speaker 3:I sold that whole bag of swords but didn't have equipment.
Speaker 2:I feel like you're just making up swords.
Speaker 3:What else was on the cart?
Speaker 4:Hey, you never know what else was on the cart. You never know, you never know there's stuff on the cart.
Speaker 2:You don't know unless you ask.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it's our cart yeah.
Speaker 2:No, you got some stuff on there Got my horse.
Speaker 1:What was the horse's name?
Speaker 3:Brandon, and also Brandon, I think. So, yeah, brandon, your.
Speaker 4:Brandon.
Speaker 1:Also.
Speaker 4:Brandon.
Speaker 1:And also Brandon.
Speaker 4:Brandon Is that his full name Also?
Speaker 3:Brandon, also Brandon.
Speaker 4:Also Brandon. Brandon, also Brandon.
Speaker 1:No, there's Brandon. Yeah, and then there's also Brandon. There's two horses. Yes, I'm getting it now, yeah.
Speaker 4:But his other name is also Brandon.
Speaker 2:Also Brandon. The second horse is also Brandon.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yep, so is the other horse.
Speaker 1:Well, if it's also Brandon and also Brandon.
Speaker 2:Brandon yep, no, we got time. Yeah, you got it.
Speaker 1:I don't see why this is confusing Listen.
Speaker 4:I try to turn my mind into a pretzel on the regular, so I'm happy to go with this as long as we want.
Speaker 1:You got some of those Faerun mushrooms.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it's more ginkgo that I'm taking now.
Speaker 2:Ginkgo taken now yo genko with all of that, the first day goes very smoothly and we wake up the next morning, which means dolo needs to make a wisdom saving throw wait, are we going to sleep again?
Speaker 3:yes, can I meditate instead of sleeping and see if I learn anything else from the sure?
Speaker 1:is there any way I can assist him on this? Uh, damp towel on the forehead.
Speaker 3:Wait, actually, what am I even rolling for? It would be Arcana.
Speaker 2:It would be Arcana. Yes, seven. So you failed the Arcana check. I got a seven. Yeah, that's a fail, okay. Now I need that wisdom saving throw. Hello, oh, a nat 20 right off the bat.
Speaker 3:Come on, girl, I'm working this stone.
Speaker 2:Yep you keep.
Speaker 3:That's what two successes and one failure on it, so I'm getting control Over this amulet.
Speaker 2:Well, you think you are, so you don't take any damage either, which is good. But you wake up in the morning Right as the boat Is approaching shore. Are you eating, buddy Just?
Speaker 4:Wait, you fall off the boat.
Speaker 2:Are you eating?
Speaker 3:Doritos, buddy, just wait, you fall off the boat. No, vance is eating potato chips. Is what's happening, as he's?
Speaker 2:crying. I do sure love my 6 am Doritos.
Speaker 3:Not sponsored. It's the chips that Av was surviving off of it really helps my Hems pills go down.
Speaker 1:They say eat it with, take it with something, With a meal. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah with a meal, so I'm eating Doritos.
Speaker 1:You remember, Vance has been alone for a long time.
Speaker 3:He is a strange man.
Speaker 1:You guys ever just eat cold beans from a tin.
Speaker 4:Brother, I'm not going to lie to you. You're about as uplifting as a wet dog turd Brother.
Speaker 3:I'm not going to lie to you. You're about as uplifting as a wet dog. Turd, it says, if it lasts more than four hours.
Speaker 2:It's been six, I forgot that one of your first interactions was him being like oh, like drinking yourself out of an alcohol.
Speaker 4:Yeah, you are, brother. I want to give you a hug and also just not touch you at the same time, and I pat him on the back.
Speaker 1:He like leans into it a little bit.
Speaker 4:Okay, wow See, I felt like that was gonna happen.
Speaker 1:You know when you pat like a Great Dane and it leans and it's like oh.
Speaker 2:So you pull up to the dock and everything is going as usual. The port they think this is just a trade ship, so people immediately just start taking barrels and stuff off. Both of you roll me perception checks. However, dudley, you notice that one of the people that are guiding everybody, just kind of, you know, just gives you a little nod. Yep, what did you guys get 18. 25. Okay, both of you notice that Gives you a little nod. What did you guys get 18 25? Both of you notice that. Up to you guys whether you bring that up or not, but you do notice a brief little exchange Between one of the Workers and Dudley.
Speaker 1:You come here often yeah Cool.
Speaker 2:No dice needed how artistic.
Speaker 3:That's so funny.
Speaker 2:As you guys, I'm going to let you sit on it.
Speaker 3:I'm sorry. No, it was well timed.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was very well timed. Okay, yep, okay, yeah, he does so the three of you are now leaving the boat, and when you get your feet on the dock and start heading towards the main like port area vance, your eyes start to burn.
Speaker 1:I think we got to keep our eyes open. I think the shadow people are back Actual shadow people.
Speaker 4:Wait.
Speaker 1:Not like the shadow government.
Speaker 4:Hold on a minute. What, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:What there's illusionaries.
Speaker 4:Are you kidding me?
Speaker 1:Go on. There's shadow people, yeah, but like literally made of shadow, yeah, and there's a couple of them. A couple of them are around.
Speaker 4:Oh, you don't say they're going to look like normal people. Of course they will. How else are they going to infiltrate?
Speaker 1:Oh, keep going. But once you know what you're looking for, you'll be able to say Uh-huh.
Speaker 2:But they don't know the lizard people no.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, actually they do know the lizard people. Oh oh yeah, actually they do know the lizard people.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, so yeah, that is a true and happening currently, oh God, Okay, within, I think, like 30 feet.
Speaker 4:What Point them out to me? I look around, let me take one down.
Speaker 2:You do Give me an insight check with advantage because of your special eyes 26. 26. It is the dock worker approaching you guys right now.
Speaker 1:Hey, it's that one.
Speaker 4:Oh, I throw a dagger at him, Shit okay. Do you really You're telling me that there are actual shadow people in this world? I'm not, he is. So I'm just saying in this moment and I just kind of, oh, I'm so jacked up right now, would it be a bat. You know what, actually, my logical brain comes in and I say hey, would it be dumb of me to throw a dagger at that thing. Are you good at throwing daggers? I mean pretty much, If I can get them.
Speaker 2:All right.
Speaker 1:It's the eyes and ears of a Lissom.
Speaker 2:If that's what we're going with, let's roll.
Speaker 1:I mean like yeah, we've never had a positive interaction. Let's just say we've never had a positive interaction.
Speaker 4:Do we play the silent card?
Speaker 2:Hold on how many other people are around. So right now there are dock workers taking crates, so just random, just three or four passing you at a time with a bunch of crates. There is the person that nodded at you, that's walking with you, that has the paperwork for the shipment, you three and then the two dock workers that are approaching to check everything in.
Speaker 3:I grab Buddy Duddy's hand to keep it Dudley Wayne. Budley, dudley Wayne.
Speaker 4:Budley, DWB. Dwb. Baby Pleased to be.
Speaker 3:I grab DW's wrist to keep him from throwing it and I spin Vance's head around to like look Well, he spins like a little kid.
Speaker 2:I'm several hundred pounds. I know, so was I as a kid.
Speaker 1:I was my son know, so was I as a kid and I spin his head to like check the whole dock. Oh, you're right, I got pretty wrapped up.
Speaker 4:I'm sorry you got your energy's infectious I am sorry, I you, you point me at something that doesn't want to be seen and I'm gonna put a flashlight on it, do you see?
Speaker 2:any others I take another look around.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I got like a 26 on that earlier.
Speaker 2:So far, it's just one of the two dock workers walking up on you.
Speaker 3:It's a scouting spot.
Speaker 1:Just him. I think maybe we don't do it in the public, but yeah, okay, hey, hey, hey, you'll get in there and ask questions.
Speaker 4:Be cool, you're right. Yeah, all right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he approaches and goes Dudley. No, no, I would too.
Speaker 1:He pulls his hood back and it's your face.
Speaker 2:He goes oh, welcome to the port Papers please. And then the other guy comes up.
Speaker 4:He hands over the envelope with all the inventory and stuff like that. How do you feel about candles? Excuse me, I don't know. They put out a lot of light, huh? Yeah, it helps you read Do away with shadows. Huh Sorry, I am just trying to be cool about this.
Speaker 2:Roll me a performance check.
Speaker 4:I can't help it. I am giddy as a schoolboy.
Speaker 1:I want to help. I'd like to roll to help.
Speaker 4:Oh yeah, that's an 11.
Speaker 1:I got a 12 to be like oh, he's just practicing for a local play.
Speaker 2:I'll let you help. It'll give you advantage, okay.
Speaker 1:All right, he's just practicing for a local play.
Speaker 4:That was help. It'll give you advantage. Okay, all right. All right for a local play. That was even worse 11.
Speaker 2:Yeah he, he looks at you and dudley you. You see his eyes gloss over and then whip back into normal eyes and he goes. Well, I couldn't imagine why that would be a problem what is that?
Speaker 4:do you guys see that his eyes?
Speaker 1:are weird. Hey, we've, we've. I'm sorry he's still learning. Yeah, he's got. He got hit in the head um, he's not racist.
Speaker 3:He didn't mean to say your eyes were weird, okay the first episode that we did today.
Speaker 4:your introduction weird. That puts a whole different color on it.
Speaker 2:Okay, the first episode that we did today. Your introduction to Dudley was that's a dwarf. You know him, not him. Stones and glass houses.
Speaker 4:I'm sorry, I'm going to calm down. Hey, nice.
Speaker 2:Roll me an insight check. Oh oh, my gosh, you're really shitting the bed on these rolls so you don't notice. But he looks at the paperwork and he goes okay, and then he sends the other person with him up on the boat and he goes. If you'll follow me, we'll get you checked in here to the office. Is this the shadow?
Speaker 1:Yes, Okay, yeah, let's go ahead and go with him, is We'll get?
Speaker 4:you checked in here to the office. Is this the shadow? Yes, okay, yeah, let's go ahead and go with them, is that? What is it?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so yeah, you got to check in.
Speaker 2:Okay, you open up the note that Silva left you, Uh-huh, and on the note it's telling you that the place to do yep is that office.
Speaker 4:Okay, yeah, we should go to do to yep it is that office. Okay, yeah, we should go. Yep, what a weird conversation we just had. Yeah, you know, like you know, normal, my voice keeps changing, you're nervous I'm so excited. This is me giddy.
Speaker 2:You walk into this office and the moment that you cross the threshold of that door, your eyes are on fire this power sucks and and your symbol on your shoulder is glowing very brightly, as, how it seems, you have just walked into an entire room full of about 10 shadow people. Oh wow, do I feel anything on the amulet? On the amulet, no, okay, the amulet no.
Speaker 1:Did I ever tell you about that time that I was at that restaurant and there was about three a piece plus one rib special. Can I roll an insight?
Speaker 3:check for his riddle.
Speaker 2:In real life. I don't know if I picked it up.
Speaker 4:I get what he's saying, but I don't know if Dudley Wayne Budley would Okay.
Speaker 2:So yeah, let's okay, okay, yeah, yeah, that's a 20. Yeah, you completely understand that. He just said that there's 10 of them around now. Is there a?
Speaker 3:leader of some sort that we need to communicate with.
Speaker 2:No, you're just talking to the person that's leading you through.
Speaker 3:He's literally leading you through this building, so you're just in the entrance of what? Could be a full building.
Speaker 1:If I can remember what the head chef looked like. I'd like to tell you about him, but I don't know if I remember what the head chef looks like.
Speaker 4:Okay, I.
Speaker 2:That one's harder to understand.
Speaker 4:That one I don't understand.
Speaker 2:The lead. I don't understand.
Speaker 1:The lead cook yeah.
Speaker 3:Are you hungry?
Speaker 1:Actually, yeah, unrelated to anything else.
Speaker 2:At about that time, the one that's leading you says oh, just beyond this last door, here is where we're able to get you checked in, and everybody needs to roll me an insight check.
Speaker 1:This feels incredibly out of the way it's a 19.
Speaker 2:As he turns around, you notice that he's starting to twitch because he's having a hard time holding on to his form. Oh but, dudley, now would be the time.
Speaker 4:Oh, I want to stab this guy. So bad, can't I?
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely so you're cutting loose. He's in front of me, right. Yes, I lean up. How close am I?
Speaker 4:I mean you're right behind him. I lean up into his ear.
Speaker 2:Okay, and.
Speaker 4:I just like I'm so the sensualness in my voice as I, my lips are almost just brushing his earlobe as I say I know what you are. This does it for me and I stick him in the side of the ribs with my dagger, roll me a two hit that I sure hope hits Just right in front of him.
Speaker 1:I was hoping you were going to say something like guess what it was? A kebab restaurant Fifteen. That hits like damn it. I was hoping you were going to say something like guess what?
Speaker 4:it was a kebab restaurant.
Speaker 2:Fifteen, fifteen, that hits.
Speaker 4:That does hit. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So you do stab him and you do oh go ahead and roll your damage and I go ugh.
Speaker 1:He takes psychic damage. He pulls a cigarette out and he goes. It's going to be about 15 minutes before I can do that again.
Speaker 2:That'd be six. Okay, six damage. Cool Sounds good and in that moment, like a horror movie, his head on a swivel, he doesn't turn around, just his head, just. Look at you, right in the eyes.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 2:As his eyes gloss back over as he reveals teeth. I need everybody to roll initiative. Nat won 15.
Speaker 1:You're just so enthralled, I'm so horned up by what's happening that I can't pay attention.
Speaker 3:I got a 17.
Speaker 2:So with that we will start off the initiative with Dolo. You just witnessed that.
Speaker 4:Want a cigarette, huh, mm-hmm.
Speaker 3:How far away are they.
Speaker 2:I mean you're in a room that couldn't be, I mean, much bigger than 30 feet.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:And they're all in here with you.
Speaker 3:Okay, and you said it's like 10 of them. Mm-hmm, mm. The one that just turned its head around and showed its teeth, yes, I too am going to just real quick reach in and throw a dagger at its throat.
Speaker 2:Okay, roll me a two hit. That's a nat one. That was really the way it bounced and rolled into nat one was just how much damage do I take? Roll a dexterity?
Speaker 4:saving throw to see if you can get out of the way. That's 21.
Speaker 2:God Field goal Perfectly Right. That's 21 Field goal perfectly right down the center.
Speaker 3:Do I accidentally hit? Do I accidentally hit anything else? Do I accidentally hit?
Speaker 2:anything else, it's just sticking into the roof.
Speaker 4:Got away from you there.
Speaker 3:Yeah, just that. One went over the playground.
Speaker 1:I buttered some of your knives Dolo. I hope you appreciate it, yeah.
Speaker 3:I appreciate it. This is the time I needed them buttered.
Speaker 2:Is that your turn? Yeah, you know what I'm going to it. Yeah.
Speaker 3:I appreciate it. This is the time I needed him buttered. Is that your turn? Yeah, you know what I'm going to make that my turn.
Speaker 2:Now we are on to Vance.
Speaker 1:I'm going to go hit him with my war hammer.
Speaker 2:Okay, which one? Because there's 10 in the room.
Speaker 1:The one that got stabbed.
Speaker 2:Might as well, eliminate one you know 12. Because that's going to miss. It is now the shadow's turn and the one that has you like. Mysteriously, you were grabbing him and now he's grabbing you. He goes in for that bite Does a 20. It sure does, and you take 7 piercing damage. And as soon as he does that, I need you to make me a strength saving throw. I also need the two of you to make strength saving throw, since you're behind him.
Speaker 3:That's a 20 for me A 20.
Speaker 2:Eight, eight, okay, so you guys were just barely in the door when all this happened. Right, he turns around. He does that After he bites you, he has his teeth locked into your shoulder and then he pushes and blows the three of you back out the door. The two of you don't take damage from it, but Vance will take seven force damage and with that all of them start to flood out.
Speaker 4:Do I get an opportunity?
Speaker 2:attack on that when you're getting pushed away. No, but that will end the shadow's turn as they all start to leave the building. Okay, and I need you to make me an insight check. Is it above a 10? Probably, I don't think so, so you don't know for sure. But with the information that you have, you know what the goods are that are being offloaded. You've got a 50-50 shot. You know that half of them are what you need to target and it will all be revealed if you hit the right one.
Speaker 4:Based on layout. How are my options presented here? You?
Speaker 2:notice that a lot of the crates that have been unloaded are strategically placed around this building, but you're not sure which ones are the ones that necessarily got offloaded. But there's about 10 crates. But it is now your turn.
Speaker 4:You know what? No guts, no glory. I light an arrow on fire and I shoot it at a crate, at a crate.
Speaker 2:At a crate. You're going to tell me odds or evens, and I'm rolling it Evens, evens 13. You hit the box and it crumbles. Nothing happens, well.
Speaker 4:That's a weak box.
Speaker 2:I told you he had a 50-50 shot. No guts, no glory, and then you just shoot her in the box and everybody's like we're going to bite him again, right? Well, Anything else for your turn.
Speaker 1:Do you have another attack?
Speaker 4:I do, I'm trying to.
Speaker 1:Just do it again.
Speaker 2:Can I try again? Yeah, of course. So I'm going to roll a d10 now, because now it's slightly higher than 50%. So we're going to say if you get a 10 or the double zeros, then that is a miss, okay. Or I guess, hang on. There's nine boxes now. There is no D9. So we'll re-roll on a 10, but odds are evens. I got to go even. It would be, odds are evens. I'm fucking up my own math.
Speaker 4:Yes, you are, and it's embarrassing right now. I mean you could go. There are about three each it's rib night.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, now I get it. So we're going to say one, three, five, seven and nine are ignitable boxes Two.
Speaker 4:I fully shit my pants.
Speaker 2:But now you've got a pretty good chance of hitting one of these boxes.
Speaker 4:If I make it to that point.
Speaker 2:With that, we're back up at the top with Dolo.
Speaker 3:And you said they're rushing us at the door. Yes, and we're at the face of the door, correct?
Speaker 2:And you just saw Dudley, for some odd reason, just launch two arrows in the boxes.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he does that, don't try to puzzle me, friend.
Speaker 4:I'm a real Rubik's Cube.
Speaker 3:I have an idea how many of them are directly in the doorway. Two right now, two in the doorway, I'm going to throw a firebolt. I'm going to kick the door close and throw a firebolt at the door.
Speaker 2:Okay, to try and just ignite the door. Okay, yeah, Just give me a two hit. It should be pretty easy. You're just targeting a door.
Speaker 3:That's a nine.
Speaker 2:Oh, that is unfortunate. You forget to kick the door shut, so you just awkwardly place the firebolt in the door frame and then it fizzles out. Okay, anything else for your turn.
Speaker 3:Yeah, since I'm angry, I get a bonus action. That's twice. I've tried something that did not work.
Speaker 2:Correct, hey, twinsies.
Speaker 3:Well, I'm going to blow a focus point and just Fury of Blows the one in front of me, Okay just full.
Speaker 4:yeah, yeah, I'm just angry and I'm just gonna punch the shit out of him. You're gonna try Work those shadow kidneys Jesus.
Speaker 3:What is the odds here, man? Yeah, I got nothing. That doesn't hit.
Speaker 2:On to Vance. Before you take your turn, with your eyes or your sense, you feel more shadow people approaching from the sides of their boats.
Speaker 1:All right, we got company the dinner reservation for a bunch. Are we in the lobby?
Speaker 4:Are we a party of five?
Speaker 2:He's very hungry, is this ends of soup, salad and breadsticks and before we recorded he ate a whole sandwich fries and his munchin' on Doritos.
Speaker 1:No, vance is hungry, I'm not, yeah right, and then I kind of see that you shot a couple of the boxes, so I'm going to go ahead and just go all right. And I just sacred flame one of the boxes.
Speaker 2:You sacred flame one of the boxes. No, that's radiant.
Speaker 1:I you sacred flame one of the boxes? No, that's radiant. I keep forgetting. Why is it?
Speaker 2:called flame Because it's sacred.
Speaker 1:I sacred flame the guy, okay, the shadow.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let me see that's a dex saving throw on his part, to which I don't know if a 15 passes.
Speaker 1:I think it does?
Speaker 2:You guys are shitting the whole bed.
Speaker 4:I have fully shit my pants at this point and I announce it to the rune, the shadow person, just to maybe take mercy on me.
Speaker 2:I'm like I shit my pants. I didn't mean it? Dex 15. Okay, I matched it, which I can't remember, if that means I tag goes to the runner. So anything else.
Speaker 1:No, because I'm level 5 and I only get one real.
Speaker 3:That's how the dice go, isn't it? Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:I run Wittershins.
Speaker 4:Wittershins.
Speaker 2:I mean, hey, it's your guys' dice that's doing it, not me, no yours is actually the one that did it to me. This one, yeah, but I don't like you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, I just run small circles counterclockwise. Yeah, Yep, I run.
Speaker 2:Wittershins, and that's my turn. So now it's the Shadow's turn and they start flooding out this door and yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm just going to say they start taking swings at you. We're going to have two bites. Go on you, dudley. Yeah, come on, that's a 13. It does not hit Okay, that's good. And then the second one just takes a swipe at you. That's even worse. We're going to do two on Vance 17 to hit Okay. Second hit is a 15. Both of them hit. Yep, okay, let's just go ahead and get through these. You're going to take six psychic for that first hit and two psychic for that second hit, and then we've got two on dolo my brain. Yeah, that one definitely doesn't hit. And with that we're just going to go back to W.
Speaker 4:I've got another one notched and ready and I'm ready.
Speaker 2:So there's seven boxes Yep Three of them.
Speaker 4:Yep.
Speaker 2:Just don't hit those three. Okay, all right, yep, you sending it.
Speaker 4:I'm sending it.
Speaker 2:Okay. So there's a. You know what? I'll even make it easier. Okay, we're going to do a D6.
Speaker 4:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:And as long as you don't get a one or a two. Okay, are you ready?
Speaker 4:No A five. Hey, you got it. Oh my god, I am. My pants are tight.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he hits the box and he celebrates and I'm just like yeah.
Speaker 2:As soon as the arrow hits the correct box, just a massive explosion takes the whole building and all of you are going to need Constitution saving throws because of how close you are to the blast.
Speaker 4:It's a 14. It's a 14.
Speaker 3:That's a 12. 17. I'm on a mission to die this game. You said 12, right.
Speaker 2:Okay, so Dolo is the only person that fails. If you succeed or, I'm sorry, if you fail you take 15 fire damage Tight On a success. You take half Tight and that kills almost all of the shadow people that were in that building. The fire, quickly, because of the size of the explosion, goes from building to building and starts catching the Doc on fire the dock on fire. At this point, the person that winked at Dudley approaches and whispers in your ear get them out of here.
Speaker 4:We gotta go, guys. Yeah, we gotta vamoose, we gotta hit the road.
Speaker 2:And with that we're back up to Dolo.
Speaker 3:Are they still attacking us or are they all dead now?
Speaker 2:All of them are dead, but you've got more approaching from the other parts of the dock. You guys are getting absolutely ambushed right now, where are we? Amscray, right in front of you, got blown back onto the dock a little bit, so we are on the dock.
Speaker 2:Yes, so when you look out, there's fire almost all around at this point. However, going into the city, you can see little pathways that you can take that aren't engulfed in flames. Yet Behind you are all the boats that are trying to get back out to sea to avoid the fire. Your boat has not left yet, but a bunch of people that now have weapons are flooding off that boat.
Speaker 3:Where's Ava and our cart? Currently on the boat With our horses, mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:Brandon and other Brandon. Yep. Brandon and other Brandon. Yep. Brandon and other Brandon.
Speaker 3:And also Brandon, do y'all want to try to tell y'all who can sail a boat?
Speaker 4:Let's get out of here. You know what I've read some blogs on it Say into the city, you guys, that was what you guys talked about with.
Speaker 3:Silva was getting into the city. We got to go into the city. We can't, you don't have to.
Speaker 2:You can run and take the boat if you want, but the whole reason that Silva sent you here was to get into Saldes.
Speaker 3:All right, let's jump on the cart and start riding.
Speaker 4:That's what I was thinking, dude.
Speaker 2:You're not going to own that boat.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Not with that attitude. That's Silva's boat, oh it's. Silva's boat.
Speaker 2:It is Silva's boat.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm like let's get in, let's go, let's go, let's go.
Speaker 3:Let's load up the cart and get the hell out of here. Okay, so you double back for the cart.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, as we're doubling back.
Speaker 3:Can I be snatching things that I see of value?
Speaker 2:Is there anything around me, you can try, but it'll slow you down.
Speaker 3:That on the cart if I make it onto the cart with my valuables.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're coming back his way anyways, yeah.
Speaker 3:They got to ride back towards me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know what valuables you'd see. I think you'd just be blindly grabbing at crates, just hoping that there's something good inside.
Speaker 3:Oh, it's even better. Grab that I'm going to find some crates. As y'all drive by, I'm throwing them on, okay.
Speaker 2:All right, give me perception.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I got to play my character baby.
Speaker 3:Hold on the time I needed it to come in. My health doesn't matter. Do I get the shit?
Speaker 1:I can get your health back.
Speaker 3:Yeah, exactly, oh hell yeah, that's a 25.
Speaker 2:Okay, a 25. Vance, give me animal handling to get the horses ready.
Speaker 4:Dudley, what would you like to do during all of this? I just want to get them. Whatever I can do to move them along.
Speaker 2:Okay yeah, so you want to help with the animal handling?
Speaker 1:Sure, yeah sure, okay, so how do you do? Does it give me advantage then?
Speaker 2:Well, what would you get on the first dice? Well, it doesn't matter if I got it on the first day.
Speaker 1:I mean it might. If he's helping, then I'll get two, I'll pull advantage right now. I got a natural one on the first day. Yeah, you did, I saw it, I just wanted you to say it. You said, bitch, just nudged it over to a 14.
Speaker 3:Yes, if you're assisting with the horses, you get advantage. Oh how that doesn't count.
Speaker 1:Nat 20. I like this. This is way better. Nat 20 plus four, that's what advantage is for?
Speaker 2:So you are able to get the horses going and you get the cart out and you're driving through. You're going to need to make me a dexterity saving throw to see how many crates you can get on as they drive by.
Speaker 3:Oh, hell yeah, that's a 21. 21. I'm out here just like a longshoreman, just let's okay. I'm out here just like a longshoreman, just let's go.
Speaker 2:I'm just throwing red like one hand grabbing shit with the rope and just slinging shit onto the cart A D6, whatever dice is on the roll. Plus two is how many crates you get on.
Speaker 1:Oh Woo.
Speaker 3:Two so you get four. Hey, that's pretty good, that's pretty good, that's pretty good.
Speaker 2:You don't know what's in them. Them, no, and neither do I at the moment. It's beautiful. This is how this character works. Yeah, I navigate us, uh, into this deeper into the city as you well, as you get towards the end of the dock with the flames and everything that's popping up, you notice that one of uh, the only entryway that is big enough to fit the cart that's not on fire is currently guarded by about six shadow people, with one more behind them.
Speaker 3:That's much larger how far away the flames from them is that the only?
Speaker 2:entrance, the only one that can fit the cart okay, he's got a real hard-on about us owning this cart he's trying to get us to stop it's something that would make your situation more difficult than just being on foot. So I'm, I am are the flames?
Speaker 3:are the flames closing in on this entrance?
Speaker 2:yes, but not quickly. It's where they are, is just past all the wood and stuff, so they're entering like the stone of the city I'm gonna.
Speaker 3:I'm gonna jump to the front of the cart. I don't mean to jump initiative, but I'm gonna jump to the front of the cart and I'm going to cast a Firebolt at the first dude up front. But I'm using my illusion spell Firebolt. Okay.
Speaker 1:Can we do a cool teamwork action Like in the first episode? We did the cool predator throw.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:As he's jumping up, I would like to give him guidance.
Speaker 2:Okay, for sure, yeah, give me that two hit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like in a cool he's like, and I grab him with my hand and help toss him up to the front.
Speaker 2:It would be a 13. It would be a 13,. Okay, that does match their AC. So you hit.
Speaker 3:Hell yeah, so I hit him with that fire in his face, okay.
Speaker 2:That does hit and you can tell that it does damage, but they do not move, they guard up, they essentially are getting ready and you do hurt the first one.
Speaker 1:You got anything that can encumber them or?
Speaker 2:blind them or destroy them? Dudley, give me an insight. Check with advantage. It's a net 20, baby. You notice that one of the crates that he threw on is one of the explosive crates.
Speaker 4:Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm picking up what you're putting.
Speaker 2:Yeah, throw that shit at me, you don't know, so you just see a crate.
Speaker 4:Hey, wait a minute and I pull back and I'm gonna pop that sucker right as it gets close to them.
Speaker 1:Okay now Budley, how'd you know they were shadow people? What?
Speaker 2:You remember the assignment right.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Alright, you throw that crate. Give me that arrow. Shot you go, you got this. You remember the assignment, right? Yeah, all right, you throw that crate Give me that arrow shot you go.
Speaker 4:You got this.
Speaker 2:All you need is a 22.
Speaker 4:Oh.
Speaker 3:What? Yes, you got this Plus 17.
Speaker 4:Plus 11, so it's 17.
Speaker 2:Oh plus 11. Oh okay, so no, not 21. Or whatever.
Speaker 1:I said what fake drama you just brought.
Speaker 4:I don't know, guys, it's only plus what I need. I don't know guys, yeah, yeah, what does that do for it?
Speaker 2:With the speed of the cart. You guys are booking it. You do not have time to stop. With the fire behind you, you are able to pick it up and you throw the crate and the truest shot Dudley has ever had in his life. As he knocks, that arrow strikes true, and the huge explosion from that crate. But in that moment, because you were standing up, the blast forces you off the cart to where Vance and Dolo make it through unscathed and the last thing that they see as they ride into Soldeus is Dudley falling through the fire.
Speaker 4:And I just I'm dying. You just hear me yell, I'm dying for freedom.
Speaker 2:But that's the last thing that you guys see is Dudley falling off the cart, being stuck on the dock as you push through, and I'm on the back of the car going well shit, it was nice to meet you guy oh shit, I'm just driving the car. Like what happened? Oh yeah, you don't know.
Speaker 4:Good thing Dudley's here to help us. Good job, Dudley. Where to?
Speaker 2:help us.
Speaker 1:Good job, dudley.
Speaker 2:Where's Av? Av is in the cart. It's never the one you want. You guys have just relentlessly bullied her.
Speaker 3:I love it, though she's a trooper and didn't do shit to help out, despite specific requests and actions Just sits on the cart eating beef jerky.
Speaker 2:That scene of Dudley being engulfed into the flames of the port is the last thing we see as we fade to black, and that is the end of this episode.
Speaker 1:Oh damn.
Speaker 3:Well, damn.
Speaker 2:Oh shit. Thank you everybody for watching. My name is Tyler Waltz and I have been your DM and we're going to have Joey introduce himself first, since this is the last episode that he will be on.
Speaker 4:Hey For now, joey Eberling. Thank you all again for having me on. I have been Dudley Wayne Budley. What a fun time it was. If you want to find me do weird stuff at Mr J Eberling on Instagram, it's probably your best chance, and thank you all for listening and watching. Yeah, and we will definitely have.
Speaker 2:Joey back. Notice how I didn't say Dudley, it's all right.
Speaker 4:You know it takes a lot out of you to be that kind of on edge the entire time.
Speaker 1:I just saw you eating Zins, it's crazy Stay packed Double horseshoes in he cut one open at one point, you never snorted a zen.
Speaker 4:That's what Big Fireman doesn't want you to know.
Speaker 3:Call that a zinfandel.
Speaker 1:Hey everybody, I'm Tyson Cox. I was playing Vance Ironsides. If you like this, please check out our life shows If you're ever around. We have them monthly, them monthly. Uh, we also do conventions and whatnot and we travel. So if you guys are like I know a cool place I would like to have you guys on, we'll probably come and do it if we can make it work out yeah, and I'm brian petrie, aka dolan mere sedren, your favorite thieving elf.
Speaker 3:Uh, you can find me at all things brian petrie comedy. And uh, yeah, I'll be around. I'm on the next Monster Monster.
Speaker 1:That's going to be dope. Yeah, thank you all so much, yeah, and thank you for the Crit Show. Make sure to check them out. They're a great Monster of the Week podcast. We're using their studio. They're the reason, audio-wise, we sound so good. The rest is on us, yeah.