J Mack Slaughter  00:00
I'm so so, so privileged that I've been able to find a job. That is an excellent job and very fulfilling in many ways where ADHD is an advantage and not a detriment. But I will say that anybody who's out there with ADHD and that struggling, maybe there is an environment out there that you haven't found yet where you will thrive and don't give up looking for that environment.

Brooke Schnittman  00:28
Welcome to successful with ADHD, I'm Brooke Shipman. And if you have ADHD and are feeling overwhelmed, chaotic and negative self beliefs, you're in the right place. The successful with ADHD podcast shares my guests journeys of overcoming challenges offering their tips and strategies for success to empower you to take control of your life and thrive with ADHD. Let's get started. Hi, everyone. Today's episode was actually an Instagram Live, and we were having some technical difficulties as you know, it always happens at the best time. And because of my Wi Fi issues at home, Dr. Mac actually hosted me on his Instagram platform. So in the beginning, it might sounds like he is hosting so the format's slightly different. However, this is successful with ADHD. I will be asking him the questions we will be hearing about his journey. And it's a really heartfelt inspiring episode. So I look forward to hearing your feedback on today's episode of successful with ADHD.

J Mack Slaughter  01:50
Just a quick rundown, I'm an emergency medicine doctor, I have a history in entertainment, I grew up singing and performing with my family did theater was in a boy band, toured the nation with a boy band, and then did TV and film before I decided to become a doctor. And so that's kind of the rundown of who I am. But under at all, I'm just a very passionate person. And I've been so privileged to have been able to engage in things that I'm passionate about. And because of that, it is masked the fact that I've had ADHD for most of my life and didn't have. Absolutely, and I know like for the people who've stuck with us from our first chat that you were saying that you've had handlers for you, girl now, like people would act as your executive functions. And that's what made you successful. Mm hmm. Right, exactly. Yeah, people talk about having like a body double for somebody, essentially, to keep you accountable. And that's what I just naturally had my entire life. And because of that, again, I didn't really get my diagnosis until fairly recently. I love it. I love it. So before we got cut off, you are starting to explain how you need the gas or the weekend. I shouldn't say from Mr. Creative boy, singer all the way to saving people's lives as an ER doctor. How? Yeah. Well, the main reason why I took that leap is because I suffer from ADHD for the first time in my life is truly what happened. I went from project to project to project and I was able to show up and be successful, because I had deadlines. And I had to be accountable with like big punishments, especially, you know, either like financially or emotionally or with relationships if I didn't show up and execute these different things. And so all of a sudden, for the first time in my life, I had about eight months where I was getting paid not to work by a network thinking that they were going to find the right TV show for me to be on. They didn't end up finding that. And so I was left to my own devices really for the first time in my life. And it was a miserable existence. I stayed in my apartment for most of my days. I think I was self treating my ADHD by playing video games all the time. And I just would fill my days with unfulfilling video games. It was very sad. At the end of those eight months, I literally found myself on a phone call with my mom where I was crying on the floor. And she said and it basically emotional to say it but she said it's okay to come home. And for those of you didn't know I lived in Texas my whole life. And that's where I was in the band with my family and performing with the boy band and everything and I moved to LA and I lived in LA and for those eight months where I had that talent whole contract. I didn't have any other work to do and was left to my own devices. I led a very unfulfilling existence for the first time that I realized I needed to change and I didn't really understand what that change should be. But I knew that I needed a challenge and I needed to do something that was exciting and along crazy road as becoming a doctor. Wow. I mean, I can see how emotional you are right now. There must be a lot to unpack there for those eight

Brooke Schnittman  05:00
months where you were struggling and you, Dan to your mom, and you won the date and you made this humongous

J Mack Slaughter  05:10
leap. Well, I needed I needed the deadlines, I needed the deadlines, I needed somebody telling me, this is what you have to do to accomplish things and be successful because I wasn't able to do it on my own. I had to have bumpers, I'm like this really energetic bowling ball. And I'm never gonna make it to the pins if I don't. So I needed bumpers, the bumpers,

Brooke Schnittman  05:35
you must have been really I mean, I might have even been longer, you must have been really passionate about wanting to be an ER doctor, like, I know you needed that structure and the bumpers, why an ER doctor?

J Mack Slaughter  05:49
Well, at some point, I just became trapped. And I was like, Well, I just have to keep going because it'd be riddled in debt. And, oh, what's it called opportunity cost, because I've spent the seven years not doing other things. I feel like I have to finish this. Yeah, at some point. But I know that it also helps the fact that what I did, and TV and film and being in the boy band and touring the country was very well known it for certain circles, not all circles in my hometown. But enough people knew about what I did. And what I plan to do. I'm very good now at speaking things into existence, saying that I'm going to do something and I'm going to grow this program or this nonprofit. And then I kind of trapped myself in part of what can make people with ADHD successful, like we've talked about is having body doubles as having deadlines is having punishments if you don't achieve the things that you say that you're going to achieve. And I trap myself in saying that I was going to become a doctor. And then I had to do it because I was accountable for a very large group of people and and for my family and my friends and didn't.

Brooke Schnittman  06:54
So yeah, there's that accountability piece where you feel like you have to you owe it to them. You owe it to yourself, but what about any reward? Do you find rewards helpful for you after you complete something? Yeah,

J Mack Slaughter  07:09
absolutely. I mean, you know, everybody has the different love languages and stuff like that. And it's, it's words of affirmation, really, for me. And so to get that certain praise along the way from friends and family, or like, you said that you're going to be a doctor and like, by golly, you're doing it really fueled me.

Brooke Schnittman  07:24
Yeah. That's amazing. That's amazing. Yeah, that is not an easy math. So obviously, you speak a lot about external accountability. I'm just curious on now that you got in to that goal. How do you feel and what is life look alike now?

J Mack Slaughter  07:44
Well, what's crazy is that now that I've become an emergency doctor, and it does, it takes up a lot, a lot of my time, I spend a lot of time in the hospitals, I do mornings, afternoons, evenings, full overnight shifts, I even do 24 hour shifts at these little like freestanding ERs that don't see as many patients and the patients aren't typically too sick. But my brain, you know, I am forced to be in that moment with those people because they truly need me. And there's a lot of stimulation, like, look at this EKG, go see this patient put in these orders, you have to put the disposition. So now there's so much stimulation that my ADHD thrives in that environment. And that's one thing that I think people can learn from my success with ADHD is that not every environment. So I look for someone with ADHD. And I'm so so, so privileged that I've been able to find a job, that is an excellent job and very fulfilling in many ways, where ADHD is an advantage and not a detriment. But I will say to anybody who's out there with ADHD and that struggling, maybe there is an environment out there that you haven't found yet where you will thrive and don't give up looking for that environment.

Brooke Schnittman  08:56
I mean, obviously, a lot of your success to do review and listening to your gut and taking risks. But I mean, talk about you love your job, right. But you took a leap, you know, right? It was a big year. And so like, would you call it, love, love it?

J Mack Slaughter  09:17
A lot of love, what

09:18
would you call it?

J Mack Slaughter  09:21
But at the same time i i listened, I listened to my gut. And I got really sad to dive into this crazy journey. You know, I always wanted to be an ER doctor along the way. But then as I was going through the different rotations, I saw very quickly what types of doctors worked for my personality and my passion and which ones didn't. And you would think that the operating room would just be a wonderful place because surgeons are so cool. I Ed Murrow it was the worst. I couldn't be goofy. I wasn't moving. I was standing still I was like fall be sterile the whole time and be like my goofy self. If I were a surgeon, I would not be a good surgeon. And ultimately, even though the initial concept going into this field was to become an emergency doctor, when I first experienced the emergency room, and I experienced the simulation, and I experienced the attendings cussing my doctors, like within, like, 20 minutes would be like, they'd like drop the F bomb and stuff and I think mostly right offended, but I loved it. I was like, these people are ready, these people are real. I want to be with these people all the time. And I listened to my gut, it became my life. And I listened to my gut and it was the right place for me. And so there was a lot of luck, but there was also sure flux and along the way or

Brooke Schnittman  10:49
with your residency, knowing that the you know, being doing other types of work won't work for you. But emergency room and rocking you know, it's for in case all the time, your adrenaline is rushing, you have to work quickly. And ADHD ears really do thrive in that environment. You know, back in the day when we were hunters, right? We see the animal coming at us we can slay Yeah, that's our brain. So like your your Yeah,

J Mack Slaughter  11:21
that's a really good point. I've never really thought about that. I bet each deers are great hunter. As long as we didn't have to just like set up in a blind and like try to say something for a really long time, right? No, no, it's like, good for that. But like, animals in front of you. You have a spear like Yeah. Yeah.

Brooke Schnittman  11:40
Like so. Er, doctor. I'm sure I'm not one. But I am sure that adrenaline right after a day's work just rains you. So how do you recover from that?

J Mack Slaughter  11:54
Well, no, no, because at some point, you get so numb to all the things that the adrenaline is very minimal in the emergency room. It was initially when I was a new resident working in emergency departments, I would you're absolutely right, I would get exhausted from the stress. And I remember just taking care of one absurdly sick patient, you know, that was either dead or dying. And I was part of fortunately just a team trying to save them, not just by myself, that was very, very draining. But at some point, you know, your overall stress response to certain things is just, I mean, decimated to where it's it. It takes a very, very novel experience to get your adrenaline really surging. But at the same time, those really, really sick patients do help to give you just the minimal bump in your adrenaline to for me focus me not everybody gets focused when they have adrenaline in their system, sometimes it can make them kind of spin out of control. But for me, it's it's always made me my best. And that's honestly how I think I did well on tests along the years. If you told me to take some sort of like low stakes exam or quiz, I would blow it I would be all over the place and thinking about, you know, 100 different projects that I wanted to do. But because it was always like make or break become a doctor or not. It was always adrenaline that would kind of fell me but again, at some point, I became numb to all that stuff. But now it's funny. I was like emailing the mayor a couple years back, and I thought it was so funny because like, no big deal. But it was I took care of somebody that was dying like 30 minutes before it didn't make me nervous. But it was emailing a mayor like me my finger shaking my heart rate got it. You know, it's like, this is what I've heard

Brooke Schnittman  13:40
you. I guess it's that lack of competence when you're emailing the mayor means you haven't done it before. But even though the er you see new things all the time you have you built that confidence in yourself.

J Mack Slaughter  13:52
Totally, totally. And it might seem honestly like, you know, you think about being an ER doctor on a vacuum, and it can be really scary. But at some point, you realize just like how amazing the nurses are that you work with how amazing the artis are that you work with how great the techs are that you work with. And so you're you are a cog in a well oiled machine. Now, it depends on the job you're working in, you know, not all the artists are like that. But I'm very, very fortunate to work in ers that have very experienced individuals, and have also seen a ton and I've experienced a ton. And it's a very, very collaborative effort when somebody comes in. They need your help.

Brooke Schnittman  14:34
So you're a dad, your husband, you have a philanthropy, tell me how you do it all.

J Mack Slaughter  14:42
Following my passions, I mean, people are like, how do you have the energy for it all and I think I think I wouldn't have the energy for things that I wasn't excited about, but I just truly follow my excitement on a day to day basis. Like I could get emotional talking about it right now but I feel like I am so I'm so privileged to be able to engage in things that energize me all day, every single day, whether it's working on my nonprofit work, whether it's spending time with my family, and I'm gonna be real with you right now, you know, like, going and sitting at a restaurant with my kids is not something that I'm really excited about showing I struggle in those moments to be able to just truly focus on on my kids. But I realized that if I put myself on the right situations with my kids, I'm a really good dad. And for me, that's, we focus on playing music together, we, you know, go outside, and like, you know, ride bikes together, or ride scooters, or play basketball, I am a really great dad in the right situations, and my kids are fortunately, in a place to where they still want to do what God wants to do. So I'm like, let's do this. And they're like, Okay, and I'm an awesome dad in those those moments. But if it's like, come and like, sit in a room, and you know, listen to the teacher, talk about the advancements of your kid over the last six months, I'm the worst at it, my brain is at 100 different places, that I'm so fortunate to be with somebody who bail me out.

Brooke Schnittman  16:13
And what would you say is the number one trick to a healthy marriage as you have, you know, severe ADHD,

J Mack Slaughter  16:23
oh, man, that's a really hard one. I feel like I do have a very healthy marriage right now. And I don't, I don't really know what to attribute that to. Because it has not always been healthy. We've, we've had really hard moments, especially when the kids were really little. I mean, it sucks. But like, I was a very bad father to a six month old kid, because my brain is in 100, different places, I'm thinking about my projects, instead of being able to, you know, like, lovingly connect with something that is very, very shallow IRA, low stimulation. And it's so sad to say that out loud, but I have to be real. I wasn't a very good father, to very small infants. But I'm a great dad, to my eight year old, and my six year old, and my three year old now he's getting to the point where he's old enough to I can really engage with him. And he can really bounce his energy off of me and I can bounce my energy off of him. And that's awesome. And, and again, that's part of being a team, really, and I'm so privileged to be a part of a team that we balance each other out. And my wife's some of my wife's like happiest times, as a mom were when our kids were three months old and six months old. To me was like, I know, it sounds so terrible. They can't

Brooke Schnittman  17:45
listen, I have a husband with ADHD, and I get it, you know, so yeah, no, that's, I love your vulnerability. I love your honesty. Those are the things that people don't really expose. And in order to be able to move forward, you need to recognize the things that work and don't work for you and just own it, right. Like it's sometimes really hard when someone else points out your flaws, especially a partner, but like, you know, that are striking and and all that. But it seems like you've done a lot of insight. And you're able to take that and and run with it and learn from it. So that's huge. If you're a teenage Yeah, I

J Mack Slaughter  18:25
used to be part of that my introspection and my ability to be vulnerable to my dad, I grew up with, like, a really loving Father who was just okay, tearing up in movies, and telling me that he loved me and giving me Big hugs. And like he was always a man. In my eyes. I cried, just talking about him right now. Because I, I owe so much of my passion, and my ability to love from my dad. And clearly I just got a lot of love and stability from my mom, my dad definitely has ADHD. And I don't know how long it took him to get diagnosed with that. But he did not give me the stability that my mom did. And my mom very clearly was able to provide just a foundation of love my whole life. But when the time was right, and the situation was right, my dad was an excellent, it's wonderful. It was right there.

Brooke Schnittman  19:13
So you had supported parents that helped you through your journey. So that is key. Yeah.

J Mack Slaughter  19:21
And again, privilege. I'm so privileged but

Brooke Schnittman  19:24
so late diagnosis for you, what would be the number one tool and takeaway that you would give our audience that if they want to be successful what they need to do?

J Mack Slaughter  19:38
I think the most important thing is to figure out what system works for you. And the only way that you can figure that out is through trial and error. When I started down the journey to becoming a doctor, my first few quizzes, thank God, they're quizzes and not like finals or something like that. I totally bombed but I took that as a learning moment. And I'm fortunate enough to have been successful before that moment to where I knew that But it wasn't intrinsically me, that was always going to be bad at school, it was my approach. And so I figured out the approach that worked for me. And that approach for me was writing note cards for every single bit of information that I needed to know. And it was insane. Because there were 1000s of bits of information, you know, for certain exams. And having to do that I would, I can hyper focus when I just absolutely have to, and there's a deadline in the future, and I would sit down at my desk was insane. I don't know how many trees I killed, I'm not proud of it. But I would have just like stacks and stacks, well, you're saving lives right now. And then I knew that it worked out. Yeah, I fit and save trees, but I'm saving a lot. But I knew that I gave myself that deadline of having to go through all of these notecards X number of times before every single test, and I would literally fall asleep in bed with no cards, and they'd land on my face. And that's what would wake me up. And I keep going. And I just checked my own ass. And so, you know, I found the system that worked for me. And for me, it was not necessarily, but it's what worked for me. And it worked, it worked. And the other thing, I think that everybody could learn from my successes is acting on actionable items immediately. And it doesn't mean accomplishing those actionable items. But if there's a task that somebody gives you, and it's important, and you truly need to complete it, don't trust your brain, your brain is not going to tell you how when the time is right to execute that task, either execute that task immediately. And that's how I get a lot of stuff done. Or somebody gives me a task. And I set aside all my other tasks, and I just like work on that until I finish it. And then there's something somewhere that has a list of these tasks that are going to notify me there's some sort of stimulation, whether it's like ADHD piles, like there's this pile that I do have to attack, if I don't, the piles never gonna go away,

21:54
oh, students, whether it be a bunch of books, or a bunch of papers, we all have

J Mack Slaughter  22:00
that pile. Now the pile can't be in your brain, the pile can be in your brain, but files in your brain are not going to execute it. And at some point, yes, very

Brooke Schnittman  22:09
cool idea of writing things down that working memory, getting it out of your head putting onto paper, I use a good old planner. Even though I have my phone, I still have the paper planner, because I remember it more when I read it down and I see it in front of other

J Mack Slaughter  22:25
big dry erase board that I physically have to look like dammit, look at that stuff on the floor.

Brooke Schnittman  22:32
But you can be a visual learner. And again, aesthetic learner. So for you those flashcards, but just the sheer energy of moving them back and forth, your brain engaged in the learning process. And I'm so excited that you didn't Yeah, thank you. On the way that you learn, you're still learning how you learn, and there's no shame in it, there really is no shame, right? Like we all learn differently,

J Mack Slaughter  22:57
right. And I have a ton of projects that I'm working on right now from nonprofit work to for profit things. And one of the recipes to Success for me is having people who are much more neurotypical, and much more organized, be a part of all of these things. And because again, you give me a deadline, and I'm going to execute on it. But I can see the big picture in the beginning and I'm terribly creative and able to come up with this big long term business plan. But when it comes to the day to day operations of it, I am the worst person to be in charge of that. But that's why I find balance with other people who are so much better at that. And together, we tend to be an unstoppable force.

Brooke Schnittman  23:38
I think that a lot of ADHD are need to feel well their brain they need that assistance, their CO partner, whatever who is the organized one and we come up with a vision and ideas, the things that we're in. And then as a team, you are collaborative. If you have two visionaries working together to people who are excited about it, yes, you might not get anything done. But if you have one, that ballot then overtop totally so much for your time and doing this on your platform and sharing your story. Every time we talk I learned more and more about you I would love to do it again at some point.

J Mack Slaughter  24:18
Let's do it everybody. If you're on here and you're not already following coaching, follow her she teaches me things on a daily basis about my ADHD. And she's a very, very valuable I

Brooke Schnittman  24:30
really appreciate you and for those who even though this is on your page of you who are joining us who have not followed Dr. GMAC slaughter, I would just have to say you are hilarious. So it is extremely entertaining. And you give us like the latest updates in the ER I mean even if you're good human and you like entertainment, follow Dr. JMf slaughter and I on Instagram. It's James Mack slaughter MD, right?

J Mack Slaughter  25:01
Yeah, well, it's Dr.JMack now.  Thank you for that endorsement friend.

Brooke Schnittman  25:11
Thanks for listening to this episode of Successfull with ADHD. I hope it helps you on your journey. And if you need any additional support for you or a loved one with ADHD, feel free to reach out to us at coaching with brooke.com and all social media platforms at coaching with Brooke and remember, it's Brooke with an "e".  Thanks again for listening. See you next time.