{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":0.0,"endTime":3.84,"body":"Every human being"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":0.0,"endTime":3.84,"body":"and clearly people with ADHD,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":3.87,"endTime":7.53,"body":"we're all wired to be negative."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":3.87,"endTime":7.53,"body":"I think of it as Mental Hygiene."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":7.59,"endTime":11.25,"body":"I need a consistent practice of"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":7.59,"endTime":11.25,"body":"positive mental hygiene. Same"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":11.25,"endTime":13.92,"body":"way, we need a consistent"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":11.25,"endTime":13.92,"body":"practice of positive oral"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":13.92,"endTime":16.59,"body":"hygiene. Well, I brush my teeth"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":13.92,"endTime":16.59,"body":"yesterday. Does that mean I got"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":16.59,"endTime":20.22,"body":"to do it again today? Well, it"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":16.59,"endTime":20.22,"body":"does. Because our default bio"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":20.22,"endTime":23.64,"body":"mechanisms are working against"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":20.22,"endTime":23.64,"body":"us or our default mental"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":23.64,"endTime":27.0,"body":"mechanisms were designed to be"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":23.64,"endTime":27.0,"body":"negative. The negative human"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":27.0,"endTime":30.42,"body":"being is the caveman that"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":27.0,"endTime":30.42,"body":"survived a negative thing in a"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":30.42,"endTime":34.17,"body":"cave man's environment will kill"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":30.42,"endTime":34.17,"body":"you. A positive thing in a cave"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":34.17,"endTime":36.78,"body":"man's environment doesn't need"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":34.17,"endTime":36.78,"body":"to be paid attention to because"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":36.78,"endTime":40.8,"body":"it's not going to stop your"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":36.78,"endTime":40.8,"body":"existence. So we do overreact to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":40.8,"endTime":44.97,"body":"negativity. What does that mean?"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":40.8,"endTime":44.97,"body":"You got to have a regular"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":45.0,"endTime":49.65,"body":"practice of gratitude of"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":45.0,"endTime":49.65,"body":"curiosity. There's a bunch of"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":49.68,"endTime":52.62,"body":"things that you just got to do"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":49.68,"endTime":52.62,"body":"to override the system and you"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":52.62,"endTime":55.92,"body":"got to do it regularly because"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":52.62,"endTime":55.92,"body":"you get into a downward spiral"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":55.92,"endTime":56.34,"body":"otherwise,"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":57.57,"endTime":60.57,"body":"welcome to"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":57.57,"endTime":60.57,"body":"successful with ADHD. I'm Brooke"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":60.57,"endTime":65.01,"body":"Shipman. Let's get started. Hi,"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":60.57,"endTime":65.01,"body":"everyone, and welcome back to"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":65.01,"endTime":70.65,"body":"successful with ADHD. Today, I"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":65.01,"endTime":70.65,"body":"am starstruck with my husband's"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":70.65,"endTime":75.78,"body":"first love, Chris Voss. He is a"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":70.65,"endTime":75.78,"body":"former lead FBI negotiator and"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":75.78,"endTime":79.56,"body":"dynamic speaker who debunks the"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":75.78,"endTime":79.56,"body":"biggest myths of negotiation."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":79.98,"endTime":83.49,"body":"Chris engages all groups with"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":79.98,"endTime":83.49,"body":"captivating stories, insights"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":83.49,"endTime":87.36,"body":"and extremely useful tips for"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":83.49,"endTime":87.36,"body":"business and everyday life."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":87.93,"endTime":90.9,"body":"Chris has lectured on"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":87.93,"endTime":90.9,"body":"negotiation at business schools"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":90.9,"endTime":93.9,"body":"across the country and has been"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":90.9,"endTime":93.9,"body":"seen pretty much everywhere,"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":93.9,"endTime":99.3,"body":"including ABC, CBS, CNN, Fox,"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":93.9,"endTime":99.3,"body":"and has been featured in Forbes"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":99.3,"endTime":104.37,"body":"time Fast Company, and Inc"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":99.3,"endTime":104.37,"body":"Chris's keynotes are based on"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":104.37,"endTime":108.51,"body":"his book never split the"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":104.37,"endTime":108.51,"body":"difference. Very warm. Welcome,"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":108.51,"endTime":112.29,"body":"Chris. Thank you for being on"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":108.51,"endTime":112.29,"body":"successful with ADHD. Yeah, my"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":112.29,"endTime":116.46,"body":"pleasure, Brooke, thanks for"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":112.29,"endTime":116.46,"body":"having me on. Absolutely. And I"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":116.46,"endTime":120.12,"body":"make fun of so I have ADHD and"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":116.46,"endTime":120.12,"body":"so to my clients as soon as my"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":120.12,"endTime":123.81,"body":"family so I make fun of myself"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":120.12,"endTime":123.81,"body":"in the fact that I highlight"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":123.84,"endTime":127.71,"body":"everything, because everything,"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":123.84,"endTime":127.71,"body":"I sometimes have a hard time"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":127.71,"endTime":131.04,"body":"understanding what's important"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":127.71,"endTime":131.04,"body":"and what's not. If you take a"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":131.04,"endTime":134.79,"body":"look at your book here, and I"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":131.04,"endTime":134.79,"body":"opened it up, is my husband's"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":134.79,"endTime":139.53,"body":"copy. Every single line is"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":134.79,"endTime":139.53,"body":"underlined, and we have notes on"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":139.53,"endTime":144.39,"body":"it. That's how valuable your"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":139.53,"endTime":144.39,"body":"book is. He just took endless"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":144.39,"endTime":148.56,"body":"notes. We both have listened and"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":144.39,"endTime":148.56,"body":"read it like 20 times. We've"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":148.56,"endTime":152.22,"body":"engaged in your black swan"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":148.56,"endTime":152.22,"body":"course, if you couldn't tell."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":152.22,"endTime":157.14,"body":"We're huge fans. So again, huge."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":152.22,"endTime":157.14,"body":"Thanks. So many people know you"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":157.14,"endTime":160.5,"body":"as an FBI negotiator. But you"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":157.14,"endTime":160.5,"body":"really are an expert"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":160.5,"endTime":164.01,"body":"communicator. Would you say"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":160.5,"endTime":164.01,"body":"that? Yeah, I mean, communicator"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":164.01,"endTime":167.4,"body":"collaboration, that sort of"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":164.01,"endTime":167.4,"body":"thing. Negotiations about? Yeah."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":168.42,"endTime":170.73,"body":"And communication in"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":168.42,"endTime":170.73,"body":"terms of listening, and"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":170.73,"endTime":172.05,"body":"really"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":170.73,"endTime":172.05,"body":"listening? Hmm."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":172.41,"endTime":175.92,"body":"Yeah, actually"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":172.41,"endTime":175.92,"body":"listening. And it was an"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":175.92,"endTime":179.1,"body":"executive, I was talking to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":175.92,"endTime":179.1,"body":"someone's back. And he was"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":179.79,"endTime":184.62,"body":"saying, now he and a fellow CEO,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":179.79,"endTime":184.62,"body":"they do a lot of business with"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":184.62,"endTime":187.17,"body":"the two of them. Were sitting"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":184.62,"endTime":187.17,"body":"there watching their people talk"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":187.17,"endTime":191.13,"body":"to each other. And watching"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":187.17,"endTime":191.13,"body":"negotiations break down that"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":191.16,"endTime":193.53,"body":"they should be making? And he"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":191.16,"endTime":193.53,"body":"said, It's due to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":193.53,"endTime":197.94,"body":"miscommunication. And I said, is"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":193.53,"endTime":197.94,"body":"it a miscommunication? Is it"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":197.94,"endTime":200.46,"body":"because people aren't speaking"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":197.94,"endTime":200.46,"body":"clearly or because people aren't"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":200.46,"endTime":204.09,"body":"listening? And he says, not"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":200.46,"endTime":204.09,"body":"people not listening. So I think"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":204.09,"endTime":207.66,"body":"the real key is to be actually"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":204.09,"endTime":207.66,"body":"listen, which takes some effort"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":207.66,"endTime":210.78,"body":"to it's not that easy. You know,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":207.66,"endTime":210.78,"body":"it's not easy to us."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":211.77,"endTime":215.58,"body":"It's not,"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":211.77,"endTime":215.58,"body":"especially when you don't"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":215.58,"endTime":218.94,"body":"necessarily agree with what the"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":215.58,"endTime":218.94,"body":"other person saying, right? Or"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":218.94,"endTime":222.48,"body":"we want to jump to the answer,"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":218.94,"endTime":222.48,"body":"because we feel like we know"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":222.96,"endTime":226.02,"body":"what they're getting at. But"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":222.96,"endTime":226.02,"body":"it's taking too long for them to"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":226.02,"endTime":226.68,"body":"get there."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":227.25,"endTime":229.23,"body":"Right. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":227.25,"endTime":229.23,"body":"exactly."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":230.34,"endTime":233.34,"body":"So what kind"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":230.34,"endTime":233.34,"body":"of strategies would you give"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":233.34,"endTime":236.25,"body":"someone, especially with ADHD,"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":233.34,"endTime":236.25,"body":"because we have executive"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":236.25,"endTime":240.0,"body":"dysfunction? We Daydream when"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":236.25,"endTime":240.0,"body":"people are talking to us, if"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":240.0,"endTime":243.51,"body":"we're not interested, we usually"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":240.0,"endTime":243.51,"body":"miss half of the conversation,"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":243.51,"endTime":247.05,"body":"if not more, we also have"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":243.51,"endTime":247.05,"body":"working memory issues. So if"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":247.05,"endTime":250.32,"body":"there's too much being said,"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":247.05,"endTime":250.32,"body":"it's hard for us to hold on to"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":250.32,"endTime":251.52,"body":"multi steps."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":251.88,"endTime":254.79,"body":"Yeah, I think, you"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":251.88,"endTime":254.79,"body":"know, it's a supplemental stuff"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":254.79,"endTime":258.24,"body":"and a communication. Like,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":254.79,"endTime":258.24,"body":"there's a there's a ratio that I"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":258.24,"endTime":263.43,"body":"like a lot. It's very"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":258.24,"endTime":263.43,"body":"unscientific, called 738 55. And"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":263.43,"endTime":266.61,"body":"a lot of people that communicate"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":263.43,"endTime":266.61,"body":"verbally for living really"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":266.61,"endTime":271.44,"body":"believe it's a good ratio, and"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":266.61,"endTime":271.44,"body":"seven plus 38 plus 55 equals"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":271.44,"endTime":276.0,"body":"100. What it is, is that the"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":271.44,"endTime":276.0,"body":"communication comes across 7%"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":276.0,"endTime":281.13,"body":"and the words 38% in the tone of"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":276.0,"endTime":281.13,"body":"voice and 55 in a body language."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":282.0,"endTime":286.38,"body":"Now, if all you're listening to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":282.0,"endTime":286.38,"body":"is the words, everybody has the"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":286.38,"endTime":290.28,"body":"bandwidth for just awards all by"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":286.38,"endTime":290.28,"body":"themselves, and I think that's"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":290.28,"endTime":294.39,"body":"why a lot of people, their minds"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":290.28,"endTime":294.39,"body":"wander they multitask, because"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":294.39,"endTime":298.8,"body":"you keep track of the words"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":294.39,"endTime":298.8,"body":"easily. The brain has in very"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":298.8,"endTime":303.51,"body":"unscientific terms. ability to,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":298.8,"endTime":303.51,"body":"we speak at about 140 to 160"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":303.51,"endTime":307.59,"body":"words a minute. And the brain"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":303.51,"endTime":307.59,"body":"can absorb four to 600 words per"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":307.59,"endTime":312.12,"body":"minute. So that leaves all this"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":307.59,"endTime":312.12,"body":"excess bandwidth, if you're only"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":312.12,"endTime":315.63,"body":"paying attention to the words,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":312.12,"endTime":315.63,"body":"but if you're looking at the"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":315.63,"endTime":318.75,"body":"whole alignment, if you're"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":315.63,"endTime":318.75,"body":"listening as much to the tone of"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":318.75,"endTime":322.56,"body":"voice, and then kind of doing"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":318.75,"endTime":322.56,"body":"math in your head, just the tone"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":322.56,"endTime":325.98,"body":"match the words, you know, how"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":322.56,"endTime":325.98,"body":"do you add focus? Or how do you"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":325.98,"endTime":330.3,"body":"take that excess capacity and"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":325.98,"endTime":330.3,"body":"make it work together? You start"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":330.3,"endTime":334.17,"body":"doing a comparative in the"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":330.3,"endTime":334.17,"body":"conversation to the words, and"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":334.17,"endTime":338.58,"body":"the tone and the body language"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":334.17,"endTime":338.58,"body":"match up. And if they do"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":338.61,"endTime":342.36,"body":"awesome, like we're on track,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":338.61,"endTime":342.36,"body":"but if they don't, then you ask"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":342.36,"endTime":346.8,"body":"yourself, alright, something"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":342.36,"endTime":346.8,"body":"must be behind this. Now, what"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":346.8,"endTime":349.02,"body":"do you do? How do you catch"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":346.8,"endTime":349.02,"body":"somebody when you're lying? You"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":349.02,"endTime":352.53,"body":"know, everybody lies to some"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":349.02,"endTime":352.53,"body":"degree, at some point in time"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":352.53,"endTime":355.8,"body":"catches somebody. Holding"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":352.53,"endTime":355.8,"body":"information back and not telling"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":355.8,"endTime":358.29,"body":"the truth is not the challenge."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":355.8,"endTime":358.29,"body":"The challenge is getting them to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":358.29,"endTime":362.07,"body":"tell you the truth. So when"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":358.29,"endTime":362.07,"body":"things don't add up, how do you"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":362.07,"endTime":366.9,"body":"get the person to talk about it"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":362.07,"endTime":366.9,"body":"to bring it up. And it's often"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":367.14,"endTime":370.59,"body":"something just as simple as a"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":367.14,"endTime":370.59,"body":"label, like, it seems like"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":370.62,"endTime":374.52,"body":"something just crossed your"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":370.62,"endTime":374.52,"body":"mind. If you're consistently"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":374.52,"endTime":378.78,"body":"trying to label someone in a"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":374.52,"endTime":378.78,"body":"conversation, that also brings"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":378.78,"endTime":383.94,"body":"your attention back down to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":378.78,"endTime":383.94,"body":"them. It helps you add tone of"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":383.94,"endTime":388.98,"body":"voice and words together. And it"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":383.94,"endTime":388.98,"body":"helps you discover what's"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":388.98,"endTime":393.75,"body":"lurking beneath the surface that"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":388.98,"endTime":393.75,"body":"you're missing. And it's not"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":393.75,"endTime":396.42,"body":"always implied by what they're"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":393.75,"endTime":396.42,"body":"saying. So if you look at"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":396.42,"endTime":399.09,"body":"communication, kind of as this"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":396.42,"endTime":399.09,"body":"game that you can play,"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":399.93,"endTime":402.87,"body":"and we love"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":399.93,"endTime":402.87,"body":"games with ADHD. Well,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":402.87,"endTime":406.05,"body":"and that's the thing"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":402.87,"endTime":406.05,"body":"I was gonna say, my guess is not"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":406.05,"endTime":410.4,"body":"really being familiar with ADHD."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":406.05,"endTime":410.4,"body":"But I would imagine, I would"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":410.4,"endTime":414.81,"body":"speculate, I would hypothesize"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":410.4,"endTime":414.81,"body":"that the ADHD community does"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":414.81,"endTime":419.34,"body":"love games, because it's the"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":414.81,"endTime":419.34,"body":"opportunity, there's a lot of"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":419.34,"endTime":424.77,"body":"information, and you got to pick"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":419.34,"endTime":424.77,"body":"up on all of it and try to add"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":424.77,"endTime":428.28,"body":"it all together. Communication"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":424.77,"endTime":428.28,"body":"can be the same kind of a game,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":428.31,"endTime":432.33,"body":"how you know, what's the words?"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":428.31,"endTime":432.33,"body":"What's the tone? What's the look"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":432.33,"endTime":437.61,"body":"on their face? What do I guess?"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":432.33,"endTime":437.61,"body":"It means, as opposed to what do"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":437.61,"endTime":440.67,"body":"I wish it means? Or what should"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":437.61,"endTime":440.67,"body":"it mean? Where should they be"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":440.67,"endTime":443.94,"body":"going? If it becomes a guessing"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":440.67,"endTime":443.94,"body":"game, then you have a tendency"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":443.94,"endTime":446.91,"body":"to be a little bit more absorbed"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":443.94,"endTime":446.91,"body":"by the communication and pay"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":446.91,"endTime":448.8,"body":"closer attention. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":448.8,"endTime":450.6,"body":"I love the"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":448.8,"endTime":450.6,"body":"game of fIying piece and that"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":450.6,"endTime":456.42,"body":"55% is body language. I always"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":450.6,"endTime":456.42,"body":"thought for whatever reason that"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":456.42,"endTime":462.87,"body":"body language was 80%. And that"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":456.42,"endTime":462.87,"body":"so much can be said, the body"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":462.87,"endTime":463.74,"body":"language?"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":465.03,"endTime":467.94,"body":"Well, it might be"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":465.03,"endTime":467.94,"body":"dependent on the on the context,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":468.51,"endTime":472.74,"body":"you know, the 738 35 ratio is"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":468.51,"endTime":472.74,"body":"not a hard number. And what"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":472.74,"endTime":477.12,"body":"really is important is, you"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":472.74,"endTime":477.12,"body":"know, body language is 80%."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":477.6,"endTime":481.26,"body":"There's still a four to one"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":477.6,"endTime":481.26,"body":"ratio to what's being said. So,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":481.29,"endTime":484.92,"body":"you know, the game is in the"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":481.29,"endTime":484.92,"body":"tone of voice and the body"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":484.92,"endTime":488.4,"body":"language. And then I would"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":484.92,"endTime":488.4,"body":"contend that, especially if"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":488.4,"endTime":493.08,"body":"you're a person, I think there's"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":488.4,"endTime":493.08,"body":"an apt everybody has an actual"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":493.08,"endTime":497.04,"body":"physical energy. Yeah. And I"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":493.08,"endTime":497.04,"body":"think some of that is"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":497.04,"endTime":502.62,"body":"communicated as well in person."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":497.04,"endTime":502.62,"body":"The real dilemma with Zoom is"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":502.62,"endTime":505.35,"body":"not that you're not seeing the"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":502.62,"endTime":505.35,"body":"person's whole body, we're"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":505.35,"endTime":508.32,"body":"seeing as much as we would be"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":505.35,"endTime":508.32,"body":"saying, if we were sitting in a"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":508.32,"endTime":512.64,"body":"conference table, what we're"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":508.32,"endTime":512.64,"body":"missing is the energy that would"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":512.64,"endTime":515.94,"body":"be in a room and I think there's"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":512.64,"endTime":515.94,"body":"something I think there is we"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":515.94,"endTime":518.43,"body":"just haven't learned how to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":515.94,"endTime":518.43,"body":"measure it yet, but I think it's"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":518.43,"endTime":518.7,"body":"there."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":519.78,"endTime":523.38,"body":"That's"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":519.78,"endTime":523.38,"body":"fascinating. So speaking of"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":523.38,"endTime":529.41,"body":"zoom, I know a lot of us have"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":523.38,"endTime":529.41,"body":"zoom fatique Do you have any"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":529.44,"endTime":535.08,"body":"ideas or suggestions in someone"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":529.44,"endTime":535.08,"body":"whose job has totally converted"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":535.11,"endTime":541.92,"body":"to zoom or video conference? To"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":535.11,"endTime":541.92,"body":"be able to sustain attention"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":541.95,"endTime":544.14,"body":"throughout the day with that one"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":544.14,"endTime":546.45,"body":"of the guys in my"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":544.14,"endTime":546.45,"body":"company they're gone has got a"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":546.45,"endTime":550.71,"body":"desk, a standing desk that"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":546.45,"endTime":550.71,"body":"actually lifts he spends a lot"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":550.71,"endTime":555.06,"body":"of time on a screen because we"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":550.71,"endTime":555.06,"body":"trade online a lot of Derek is"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":555.06,"endTime":557.85,"body":"our best coach and he coaches"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":555.06,"endTime":557.85,"body":"people through negotiations"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":557.85,"endTime":560.58,"body":"constantly all over the world. I"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":557.85,"endTime":560.58,"body":"mean, literally all over the"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":560.58,"endTime":565.98,"body":"world. So he's on Zoom, and he's"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":560.58,"endTime":565.98,"body":"got this raising and lowering"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":566.01,"endTime":571.05,"body":"task. And he stands a lot, you"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":566.01,"endTime":571.05,"body":"know, and sometimes when I get"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":571.05,"endTime":573.96,"body":"fatigued, you know sitting is"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":571.05,"endTime":573.96,"body":"not that good. You know, what"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":573.96,"endTime":576.87,"body":"are these? There's a cliche"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":573.96,"endTime":576.87,"body":"sitting is the new smoking."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":578.43,"endTime":581.91,"body":"Wow, I didn't"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":578.43,"endTime":581.91,"body":"hear that. But I get that. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":581.91,"endTime":584.58,"body":"I've I've I've I"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":581.91,"endTime":584.58,"body":"wish I would have coined that"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":584.58,"endTime":589.44,"body":"term personally. But I've got"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":584.58,"endTime":589.44,"body":"different elevating platforms"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":589.47,"endTime":593.37,"body":"put my computer on. And"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":589.47,"endTime":593.37,"body":"especially in the afternoon,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":593.46,"endTime":597.48,"body":"when the bar rhythms are down,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":593.46,"endTime":597.48,"body":"I'll stand you know, get get on"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":597.48,"endTime":600.21,"body":"your feet. Even if it's just a"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":597.48,"endTime":600.21,"body":"standard you're desperate Few"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":600.21,"endTime":600.66,"body":"words."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":601.05,"endTime":603.15,"body":"Yeah, like"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":601.05,"endTime":603.15,"body":"that. Having a set. That's what"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":603.15,"endTime":605.55,"body":"I'm doing right now I'm on a"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":603.15,"endTime":605.55,"body":"standing desk. And you're right."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":605.55,"endTime":610.2,"body":"If I sit all day, my joints are"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":605.55,"endTime":610.2,"body":"so tight. I feel like I'm 80"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":610.2,"endTime":616.8,"body":"years old. And just completely,"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":610.2,"endTime":616.8,"body":"like shrunk. So yes, I like them"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":616.83,"endTime":620.28,"body":"be being able to move whether"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":616.83,"endTime":620.28,"body":"you're neurodiverse or not."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":620.73,"endTime":622.32,"body":"Right? Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":620.73,"endTime":622.32,"body":"exactly."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":623.219,"endTime":626.819,"body":"So one thing"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":623.219,"endTime":626.819,"body":"that you had mentioned that"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":626.849,"endTime":632.129,"body":"helps in understanding someone's"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":626.849,"endTime":632.129,"body":"what they're trying to say. And"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":632.129,"endTime":635.009,"body":"really listening is by looking"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":632.129,"endTime":635.009,"body":"at body language hearing what"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":635.009,"endTime":642.719,"body":"they have to say that. And I"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":635.009,"endTime":642.719,"body":"mean this respectfully. So I"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":642.719,"endTime":644.099,"body":"want your wisdom."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":644.13,"endTime":646.26,"body":"Oh, here we go."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":644.13,"endTime":646.26,"body":"Respectfully. All right. All"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":646.26,"endTime":648.21,"body":"right, respectfully. Do I have"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":648.21,"endTime":653.43,"body":"you on edge?"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":648.21,"endTime":653.43,"body":"Am I giving a shit sandwich? For"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":653.43,"endTime":657.81,"body":"someone with ADHD, they can take"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":653.43,"endTime":657.81,"body":"in lots of different stimuli,"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":657.81,"endTime":662.73,"body":"right. So that might not be hard"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":657.81,"endTime":662.73,"body":"for them to to look at all that."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":662.73,"endTime":666.12,"body":"But at the same time, when"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":662.73,"endTime":666.12,"body":"they're really trying to look at"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":666.12,"endTime":670.86,"body":"the body language, the the"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":666.12,"endTime":670.86,"body":"facial expressions, the way"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":670.86,"endTime":675.66,"body":"someone's communicating their"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":670.86,"endTime":675.66,"body":"tone, it can distract them from"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":675.66,"endTime":678.81,"body":"what the person's actually"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":675.66,"endTime":678.81,"body":"saying. And then they can"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":678.84,"endTime":682.2,"body":"totally miss everything that"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":678.84,"endTime":682.2,"body":"they're saying. So do you have"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":682.2,"endTime":686.25,"body":"any recommendations in when"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":682.2,"endTime":686.25,"body":"you're missing what a person is"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":686.25,"endTime":691.95,"body":"saying, to bring back attention"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":686.25,"endTime":691.95,"body":"to what they have said without"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":692.4,"endTime":693.42,"body":"offending them?"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":695.1,"endTime":698.28,"body":"Yeah, one of our"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":695.1,"endTime":698.28,"body":"skills, which we refer to as the"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":698.28,"endTime":701.55,"body":"mirror, which is not the body"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":698.28,"endTime":701.55,"body":"language, mirror, hostage"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":701.55,"endTime":704.73,"body":"negotiators mirror, the Black"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":701.55,"endTime":704.73,"body":"Swans mirror is just a"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":704.73,"endTime":708.72,"body":"repetition of one to three ish"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":704.73,"endTime":708.72,"body":"words, to be repeating one word"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":709.29,"endTime":712.23,"body":"can be up to five, it's never"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":709.29,"endTime":712.23,"body":"really more than five, because"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":712.23,"endTime":715.83,"body":"then you're getting into"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":712.23,"endTime":715.83,"body":"paraphrasing. But and the mirror"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":715.83,"endTime":720.24,"body":"skill, when we teach it, is"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":715.83,"endTime":720.24,"body":"repeating the last the last one"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":720.24,"endTime":724.02,"body":"to three words, which if you're"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":720.24,"endTime":724.02,"body":"having trouble paying attention,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":724.05,"endTime":728.7,"body":"you got distracted, you can"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":724.05,"endTime":728.7,"body":"probably pull up out of the dim"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":728.7,"endTime":732.63,"body":"recesses of your short term"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":728.7,"endTime":732.63,"body":"memory, the last three words"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":732.63,"endTime":737.43,"body":"that were just spoken. Now what"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":732.63,"endTime":737.43,"body":"that does is it brings the"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":737.43,"endTime":741.27,"body":"conversation back to whatever"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":737.43,"endTime":741.27,"body":"you've mirrored and it does so"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":741.27,"endTime":744.72,"body":"in a way with the person that's"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":741.27,"endTime":744.72,"body":"talking doesn't feel it's"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":744.72,"endTime":749.88,"body":"redundant. The mirror has kind"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":744.72,"endTime":749.88,"body":"of a funny mechanism in the"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":749.88,"endTime":754.02,"body":"brain. If you won't repeat it"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":749.88,"endTime":754.02,"body":"the same way. If I mirror you,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":754.74,"endTime":758.37,"body":"you will say the same thing only"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":754.74,"endTime":758.37,"body":"with different words, you change"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":758.37,"endTime":763.41,"body":"the words, versus if you say"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":758.37,"endTime":763.41,"body":"something that I either missed."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":764.46,"endTime":768.66,"body":"Or I want to know more about if"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":764.46,"endTime":768.66,"body":"I say what did you mean by that?"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":768.69,"endTime":772.38,"body":"You know, what did you mean by"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":768.69,"endTime":772.38,"body":"mirror, you're probably going to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":772.38,"endTime":775.35,"body":"repeat it exactly the same way,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":772.38,"endTime":775.35,"body":"sort of like an American"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":775.35,"endTime":779.07,"body":"overseas. Where is the Eiffel"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":775.35,"endTime":779.07,"body":"Tower to a French person? Just"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":779.07,"endTime":782.91,"body":"say it again? Only lad, right,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":779.07,"endTime":782.91,"body":"right. But the mirror triggers"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":782.91,"endTime":788.37,"body":"something in the Speaker's"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":782.91,"endTime":788.37,"body":"brain, that the person who"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":788.37,"endTime":791.76,"body":"mirrored them is saying, like,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":788.37,"endTime":791.76,"body":"look, I'm really interested. I'd"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":791.76,"endTime":795.51,"body":"like to know more about that"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":791.76,"endTime":795.51,"body":"point. I heard the words you"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":795.51,"endTime":798.69,"body":"said and they weren't enough for"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":795.51,"endTime":798.69,"body":"me. So I'd like you to go back"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":798.69,"endTime":802.86,"body":"and expand. And all of that is"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":798.69,"endTime":802.86,"body":"communicated by just repeating"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":802.86,"endTime":807.24,"body":"the last one to three ish words,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":802.86,"endTime":807.24,"body":"or one to three words selected,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":807.24,"endTime":810.3,"body":"you can move it around, it"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":807.24,"endTime":810.3,"body":"doesn't have to be the last"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":810.33,"endTime":814.47,"body":"words. But the mirror in"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":810.33,"endTime":814.47,"body":"particular is great for going"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":814.47,"endTime":817.71,"body":"back and covering ground on"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":814.47,"endTime":817.71,"body":"stuff that you may have missed."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":818.19,"endTime":821.22,"body":"Or your gut is telling you"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":818.19,"endTime":821.22,"body":"there's more there like add it"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":821.22,"endTime":824.37,"body":"was something about that, that"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":821.22,"endTime":824.37,"body":"bothers me. You know, it's might"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":824.37,"endTime":827.67,"body":"be the tip of the iceberg. So"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":824.37,"endTime":827.67,"body":"you can mirror that particular"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":827.67,"endTime":832.5,"body":"portion. And the speaker loves"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":827.67,"endTime":832.5,"body":"it. People love to be mirrored"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":833.19,"endTime":835.38,"body":"now I know"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":833.19,"endTime":835.38,"body":"there is the one type of group"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":835.38,"endTime":837.9,"body":"that doesn't love the mirror."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":835.38,"endTime":837.9,"body":"Right? Well,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":837.93,"endTime":841.56,"body":"let me see."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":837.93,"endTime":841.56,"body":"Sometimes when people are are"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":841.56,"endTime":845.37,"body":"particularly guarded, we believe"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":841.56,"endTime":845.37,"body":"that there's three types of"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":845.37,"endTime":848.76,"body":"serves analysts and"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":845.37,"endTime":848.76,"body":"accommodators. Now starters love"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":848.76,"endTime":852.45,"body":"to talk so mirror mirroring men"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":848.76,"endTime":852.45,"body":"will keep them going all day."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":852.51,"endTime":857.04,"body":"Like there's a there's a story"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":852.51,"endTime":857.04,"body":"in my book. One of my employees"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":857.49,"endTime":861.06,"body":"told my son in advance, you"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":857.49,"endTime":861.06,"body":"know, on when we get to when we"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":861.06,"endTime":864.0,"body":"get to work that I am going to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":861.06,"endTime":864.0,"body":"mirror Chris. That's all I'm"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":864.0,"endTime":868.68,"body":"gonna do. And we're as soon as"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":864.0,"endTime":868.68,"body":"dude's name was Keane and Keenan"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":868.68,"endTime":871.32,"body":"had been married me and I've"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":868.68,"endTime":871.32,"body":"been yammering and Yammer and in"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":871.32,"endTime":875.07,"body":"Yammer and for good 45 minutes"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":871.32,"endTime":875.07,"body":"at a time in finding my son"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":875.07,"endTime":878.31,"body":"Brandon goes like, Oh, God, I"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":875.07,"endTime":878.31,"body":"can't take it anymore. He's been"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":878.31,"endTime":882.99,"body":"married for the last 45 minutes"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":878.31,"endTime":882.99,"body":"and he didn't even know. So this"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":882.99,"endTime":887.01,"body":"sort is love to be married. Now,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":882.99,"endTime":887.01,"body":"the analyst, the highly"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":887.01,"endTime":891.6,"body":"analytical type, deeply"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":887.01,"endTime":891.6,"body":"introspective. Occasionally you"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":891.6,"endTime":896.4,"body":"mirror them, and they'll give"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":891.6,"endTime":896.4,"body":"you a one word response. Now"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":896.4,"endTime":898.77,"body":"what that really is"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":896.4,"endTime":898.77,"body":"communicating if someone's"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":898.77,"endTime":905.67,"body":"response is Very limited is"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":898.77,"endTime":905.67,"body":"there guarded. Now the guarded"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":905.67,"endTime":910.08,"body":"because you haven't earned their"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":905.67,"endTime":910.08,"body":"trust. They're guarded because"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":910.47,"endTime":914.1,"body":"they're concerned you're not"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":910.47,"endTime":914.1,"body":"listening. They're guarded"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":914.1,"endTime":919.5,"body":"because something else is"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":914.1,"endTime":919.5,"body":"bothering them. It's basically"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":919.5,"endTime":923.4,"body":"those three things. So when you"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":919.5,"endTime":923.4,"body":"mirror them, then you can you"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":923.4,"endTime":926.94,"body":"can shift over to a label simply"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":923.4,"endTime":926.94,"body":"if I marry you, and you give me"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":926.94,"endTime":931.65,"body":"a one word answer, I'll probably"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":926.94,"endTime":931.65,"body":"say, seems like I haven't earned"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":931.65,"endTime":936.66,"body":"your trust yet. And that one,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":931.65,"endTime":936.66,"body":"two combination is going to draw"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":936.66,"endTime":938.94,"body":"you out one way or another. If"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":936.66,"endTime":938.94,"body":"it's true, you're going to open"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":938.94,"endTime":942.69,"body":"up. If it's not true, you'll"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":938.94,"endTime":942.69,"body":"actually correct me. And that's"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":942.69,"endTime":946.38,"body":"another form of opening up. So"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":942.69,"endTime":946.38,"body":"if somebody doesn't like to be"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":946.38,"endTime":950.34,"body":"mirrored, that they probably a"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":946.38,"endTime":950.34,"body":"little more desirous of being"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":950.34,"endTime":954.15,"body":"labeled to be drawn out. And you"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":950.34,"endTime":954.15,"body":"just have to simply demonstrate"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":954.15,"endTime":957.42,"body":"that you've got to listen. And"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":954.15,"endTime":957.42,"body":"that you're not going to you're"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":957.42,"endTime":960.57,"body":"not going to be the AHA"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":957.42,"endTime":960.57,"body":"listener. That catches them in a"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":960.57,"endTime":962.31,"body":"moment. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":962.43,"endTime":964.68,"body":"I like that a"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":962.43,"endTime":964.68,"body":"lot. My husband used that on me"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":964.68,"endTime":967.74,"body":"when we first met and I must"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":964.68,"endTime":967.74,"body":"have been guarded, and he didn't"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":967.74,"endTime":970.47,"body":"know my trust yet. So I'm like,"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":967.74,"endTime":970.47,"body":"Well, yes, stop repeating back"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":970.47,"endTime":973.59,"body":"what I'm saying. Let's move on."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":974.07,"endTime":976.47,"body":"Well, when you first"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":974.07,"endTime":976.47,"body":"met, I, you know, I gotta I"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":976.47,"endTime":979.02,"body":"gotta I gotta check this guy"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":976.47,"endTime":979.02,"body":"out. He's got a he's got to,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":979.08,"endTime":980.61,"body":"he's got to pass a few tests."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":980.91,"endTime":984.33,"body":"Like, what is"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":980.91,"endTime":984.33,"body":"he doing? Exactly? You don't"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":984.33,"endTime":987.39,"body":"have my trust, yet. We both come"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":984.33,"endTime":987.39,"body":"in baggage. Give me some time."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":989.61,"endTime":994.41,"body":"That's great. I love that. Of"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":989.61,"endTime":994.41,"body":"course, my, my memory is like"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":994.44,"endTime":996.75,"body":"all over the place right now. So"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":994.44,"endTime":996.75,"body":"I'm trying to remember what I"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":996.75,"endTime":998.52,"body":"was going to say when you were"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":996.75,"endTime":998.52,"body":"talking."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1000.08,"endTime":1002.36,"body":"Yeah, we're going"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1000.08,"endTime":1002.36,"body":"for an extensive period of time."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1003.86,"endTime":1005.99,"body":"I know I love"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1003.86,"endTime":1005.99,"body":"it. I love it. I was really"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1005.99,"endTime":1009.2,"body":"listening. So I can probably"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1005.99,"endTime":1009.2,"body":"repeat back what you said, but I"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1009.2,"endTime":1012.26,"body":"don't have the next thing. And"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1009.2,"endTime":1012.26,"body":"you know what, that actually"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1012.26,"endTime":1016.79,"body":"brings up a good point. When we"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1012.26,"endTime":1016.79,"body":"try so hard to listen, right?"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1016.85,"endTime":1019.91,"body":"You talk about the marrying,"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1016.85,"endTime":1019.91,"body":"right. But like, with"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1019.91,"endTime":1024.11,"body":"impulsivity with ADHD, we don't"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1019.91,"endTime":1024.11,"body":"want to lose our train of"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1024.11,"endTime":1026.84,"body":"thought when someone else is"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1024.11,"endTime":1026.84,"body":"talking, they might have said"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1026.84,"endTime":1030.95,"body":"something that springs up"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1026.84,"endTime":1030.95,"body":"another point to like, defend"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1030.95,"endTime":1036.05,"body":"their stance or whatever. What"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1030.95,"endTime":1036.05,"body":"is the recommendation when"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1036.08,"endTime":1039.56,"body":"you're trying so hard not to"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1036.08,"endTime":1039.56,"body":"lose your train of thought, but"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1039.56,"endTime":1041.9,"body":"you also want to listen? Well,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1042.05,"endTime":1044.81,"body":"you know, if there's"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1042.05,"endTime":1044.81,"body":"something it's really necessary"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1044.81,"endTime":1048.98,"body":"for me to get out, and it's,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1044.81,"endTime":1048.98,"body":"it's not an ad hoc, gotcha, sort"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1048.98,"endTime":1053.3,"body":"of thing. I'll say, Look, I'm"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1048.98,"endTime":1053.3,"body":"sorry, I'm gonna bring this up."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1053.93,"endTime":1061.49,"body":"You know, I apologize. I use"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1053.93,"endTime":1061.49,"body":"apologies. As warnings for"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1061.49,"endTime":1064.97,"body":"behavior that might otherwise be"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1061.49,"endTime":1064.97,"body":"disruptive or offensive. You"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1064.97,"endTime":1067.91,"body":"know, it's kind of a sequence."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1064.97,"endTime":1067.91,"body":"If you're going to if you're"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1067.91,"endTime":1072.08,"body":"going to risk offending someone,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1067.91,"endTime":1072.08,"body":"it's, it's a little bit like, if"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1072.08,"endTime":1076.43,"body":"you slap somebody in the face,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1072.08,"endTime":1076.43,"body":"and then apologize. Or if you"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1076.43,"endTime":1079.04,"body":"apologize to let them know a"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1076.43,"endTime":1079.04,"body":"slap in the face is coming."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1080.27,"endTime":1083.42,"body":"They're gonna appreciate the"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1080.27,"endTime":1083.42,"body":"warning. We've had a lot of"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1083.42,"endTime":1090.08,"body":"discussion about apology towards"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1083.42,"endTime":1090.08,"body":"I'm sorry, is it weakness? You"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1090.08,"endTime":1093.17,"body":"know, and especially"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1090.08,"endTime":1093.17,"body":"historically, probably five"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1093.17,"endTime":1096.02,"body":"maybe 10 years ago, I don't know"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1093.17,"endTime":1096.02,"body":"if it's as true as it used to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1096.02,"endTime":1099.74,"body":"be. A lot of people were telling"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1096.02,"endTime":1099.74,"body":"women don't ever apologize,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1099.74,"endTime":1104.66,"body":"woman apologize too much. If"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1099.74,"endTime":1104.66,"body":"towards I'm sorry, we're in and"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1104.66,"endTime":1108.38,"body":"of themselves wrong. Like I"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1104.66,"endTime":1108.38,"body":"apologize all the time. Just"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1108.38,"endTime":1111.08,"body":"before I get ready to assert"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1108.38,"endTime":1111.08,"body":"just before I get ready to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1111.08,"endTime":1114.56,"body":"interrupt the airline, I mean,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1111.08,"endTime":1114.56,"body":"even apologize twice before I"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1114.56,"endTime":1119.9,"body":"disagree. And I'm texting with"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1114.56,"endTime":1119.9,"body":"some friends on a group group"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1119.9,"endTime":1124.49,"body":"chat just yesterday, and"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1119.9,"endTime":1124.49,"body":"somebody wanted to do something"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1125.0,"endTime":1129.11,"body":"that I have no desire to do at"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1125.0,"endTime":1129.11,"body":"all. And I started with an"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1129.11,"endTime":1132.05,"body":"apology. I said, I'm sorry, I'm"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1129.11,"endTime":1132.05,"body":"afraid I'm just not good at"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1132.05,"endTime":1138.35,"body":"that. I don't want to do it. And"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1132.05,"endTime":1138.35,"body":"it landed much more nicely. So"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1138.38,"endTime":1142.97,"body":"if if I got something I gotta"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1138.38,"endTime":1142.97,"body":"say, I'm gonna I'm gonna open it"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1142.97,"endTime":1146.63,"body":"up. Look, I'm sorry. I'm afraid"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1142.97,"endTime":1146.63,"body":"I gotta say something right now,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1146.66,"endTime":1149.57,"body":"because I'm gonna lose my train"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1146.66,"endTime":1149.57,"body":"of thought. And it'll be more"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1149.57,"endTime":1150.59,"body":"acceptable. Yeah, I"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1150.59,"endTime":1152.18,"body":"like how"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1150.59,"endTime":1152.18,"body":"you're giving people permission"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1152.18,"endTime":1154.82,"body":"to do that. Because you're"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1152.18,"endTime":1154.82,"body":"absolutely right. There was such"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1154.82,"endTime":1157.94,"body":"a negative connotation for"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1154.82,"endTime":1157.94,"body":"saying sorry, and with ADHD were"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1157.94,"endTime":1161.0,"body":"people pleasers very often so we"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1157.94,"endTime":1161.0,"body":"are apologizing for like our"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1161.0,"endTime":1167.93,"body":"mere existence. So using it in a"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1161.0,"endTime":1167.93,"body":"way where it's helping you"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1168.11,"endTime":1171.95,"body":"communicate better and gain"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1168.11,"endTime":1171.95,"body":"control of your thoughts. I love"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1171.95,"endTime":1174.89,"body":"that it's not a sign of"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1171.95,"endTime":1174.89,"body":"weakness. It's actually a sign"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1174.89,"endTime":1176.84,"body":"of strength, and"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1176.84,"endTime":1178.52,"body":"a desire to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1176.84,"endTime":1178.52,"body":"collaborate. And if you didn't"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1178.52,"endTime":1181.34,"body":"want to collaborate with me then"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1178.52,"endTime":1181.34,"body":"okay, maybe we shouldn't be"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1181.34,"endTime":1182.69,"body":"talking to begin with. Right?"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1183.53,"endTime":1187.04,"body":"Right, right."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1183.53,"endTime":1187.04,"body":"Do you I feel like I know the"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1187.04,"endTime":1190.88,"body":"answer to this already. But if"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1187.04,"endTime":1190.88,"body":"two parties know your"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1190.88,"endTime":1195.26,"body":"communication tactics and have"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1190.88,"endTime":1195.26,"body":"studied you, aka my husband and"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1195.26,"endTime":1203.24,"body":"I do you feel like there's ever"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1195.26,"endTime":1203.24,"body":"A chance that you can have"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1203.63,"endTime":1207.38,"body":"effective communication with"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1203.63,"endTime":1207.38,"body":"your communication strategies"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1207.38,"endTime":1210.62,"body":"without feeling like it's"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1207.38,"endTime":1210.62,"body":"manipulative."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1211.55,"endTime":1214.22,"body":"Yeah, that's a great"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1211.55,"endTime":1214.22,"body":"question. And a lot of it comes"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1214.22,"endTime":1217.64,"body":"up in a lot of contexts. What"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1214.22,"endTime":1217.64,"body":"these skills are, are highly"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1217.64,"endTime":1222.02,"body":"effective skills, highly"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1217.64,"endTime":1222.02,"body":"effective tool, which makes them"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1222.02,"endTime":1226.19,"body":"really neutral. It's more what"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1222.02,"endTime":1226.19,"body":"they're being used for, like, we"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1226.19,"endTime":1229.7,"body":"use these skills in my company."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1226.19,"endTime":1229.7,"body":"I mean, there's 26 of us, we use"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1229.7,"endTime":1233.39,"body":"them on each other all the time"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1229.7,"endTime":1233.39,"body":"constantly, because they're"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1233.39,"endTime":1237.17,"body":"trying to accelerate our"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1233.39,"endTime":1237.17,"body":"collaboration. And my favorite"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1237.17,"endTime":1241.13,"body":"analogy is a scalpel in one"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1237.17,"endTime":1241.13,"body":"person's hands. It's a murder"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1241.13,"endTime":1244.79,"body":"weapon in another person's"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1241.13,"endTime":1244.79,"body":"hands. It's a life saving tool."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1245.9,"endTime":1250.64,"body":"It's in the hands of the user."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1245.9,"endTime":1250.64,"body":"And so yeah, we use the skills"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1250.64,"endTime":1255.02,"body":"all the time, now, I have, I can"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1250.64,"endTime":1255.02,"body":"smell when somebody is using"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1255.02,"endTime":1258.65,"body":"them against me. And that"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1255.02,"endTime":1258.65,"body":"happens. Not all the time, but"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1258.65,"endTime":1264.98,"body":"not infrequently. And if I, you"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1258.65,"endTime":1264.98,"body":"know, intention has a smell, as"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1264.98,"endTime":1268.76,"body":"somebody once said to me, you"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1264.98,"endTime":1268.76,"body":"know, if it's triggered my gut"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1268.76,"endTime":1271.97,"body":"instinct that somehow I'm being"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1268.76,"endTime":1271.97,"body":"manipulated, I'll give you a"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1271.97,"endTime":1276.11,"body":"little rope. It'll all test you"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1271.97,"endTime":1276.11,"body":"a couple of ways. But if you're"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1276.11,"endTime":1279.05,"body":"using a stuff against me that I"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1276.11,"endTime":1279.05,"body":"just break off contact, that's"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1279.05,"endTime":1285.74,"body":"good. Thank"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1279.05,"endTime":1285.74,"body":"you. Yeah. Also, can you get"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1285.77,"endTime":1289.73,"body":"into the science of the brain"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1285.77,"endTime":1289.73,"body":"that you've learned and quoted"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1289.73,"endTime":1293.15,"body":"from Daniel Kahneman? For our"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1289.73,"endTime":1293.15,"body":"listeners? Yeah, well,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1293.15,"endTime":1294.77,"body":"there's, you know,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1293.15,"endTime":1294.77,"body":"there's, there's a lot of"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1294.77,"endTime":1298.79,"body":"interesting brain science out"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1294.77,"endTime":1298.79,"body":"there that this works with and"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1299.15,"endTime":1303.2,"body":"the Kahneman stuff really has to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1299.15,"endTime":1303.2,"body":"do much more with Prospect"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1303.2,"endTime":1305.57,"body":"Theory. And economists got some"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1303.2,"endTime":1305.57,"body":"interesting stories about"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1305.57,"endTime":1308.9,"body":"instinct that I really liked"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1305.57,"endTime":1308.9,"body":"too. But, you know, Prospect"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1308.9,"endTime":1312.74,"body":"Theory, Kahneman, Nobel Prize"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1308.9,"endTime":1312.74,"body":"behavioral economics 2002, I"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1312.74,"endTime":1317.81,"body":"believe, and the cliffnotes"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1312.74,"endTime":1317.81,"body":"version of it is a loss things"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1317.81,"endTime":1323.45,"body":"twice as much as an equivalent"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1317.81,"endTime":1323.45,"body":"gain. Losing $5 feels like"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1323.45,"endTime":1327.8,"body":"you're lost 10. And there's a"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1323.45,"endTime":1327.8,"body":"lot of versions around that"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1327.83,"endTime":1330.83,"body":"people are more likely to make a"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1327.83,"endTime":1330.83,"body":"decision to avoid a loss in the"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1330.83,"endTime":1336.59,"body":"yard or accomplish a gate. So"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1330.83,"endTime":1336.59,"body":"the impact of loss we call it, I"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1336.59,"endTime":1341.15,"body":"refer to it as bending reality"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1336.59,"endTime":1341.15,"body":"distorts your vision of what"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1341.18,"endTime":1345.35,"body":"just happened by double. And"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1341.18,"endTime":1345.35,"body":"it's one of the most powerful"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1345.35,"endTime":1351.05,"body":"skills in communication, which"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1345.35,"endTime":1351.05,"body":"is why using loss, the prospect"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1351.05,"endTime":1355.73,"body":"of loss without empathy, makes"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1351.05,"endTime":1355.73,"body":"you seem like Bond villain, like"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1355.73,"endTime":1361.79,"body":"a really bad person. And, and it"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1355.73,"endTime":1361.79,"body":"is highly influential. So you"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1361.79,"endTime":1365.18,"body":"got to use empathy, you got to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1361.79,"endTime":1365.18,"body":"use appreciation, you got to use"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1365.18,"endTime":1369.98,"body":"a lot of emotional intelligence"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1365.18,"endTime":1369.98,"body":"in order to wield this tool,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1369.98,"endTime":1375.29,"body":"because it's so powerful. Quite"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1369.98,"endTime":1375.29,"body":"a number of years ago, I had to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1375.29,"endTime":1379.82,"body":"renegotiate contracts for people"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1375.29,"endTime":1379.82,"body":"that I was hiring, and who were"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1379.82,"endTime":1384.38,"body":"also friends. And for a short"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1379.82,"endTime":1384.38,"body":"period of time, I needed them to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1384.38,"endTime":1390.8,"body":"take a 75% cut. But that was the"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1384.38,"endTime":1390.8,"body":"reality of the situation, this"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1390.83,"endTime":1393.44,"body":"and they knew me to be an honest"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1390.83,"endTime":1393.44,"body":"guy and a straight shooter,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1393.44,"endTime":1395.72,"body":"which put me in a position to be"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1393.44,"endTime":1395.72,"body":"able to deal with this kind of"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1395.72,"endTime":1398.75,"body":"an issue. If, you know, if I was"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1395.72,"endTime":1398.75,"body":"constantly trying to get over on"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1398.75,"endTime":1401.87,"body":"somebody, I wouldn't, I wouldn't"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1398.75,"endTime":1401.87,"body":"have the reputation for"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1401.87,"endTime":1405.86,"body":"integrity to be able to breach"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1401.87,"endTime":1405.86,"body":"this subject. But I started out"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1405.86,"endTime":1409.13,"body":"by saying, like, look, I got a"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1405.86,"endTime":1409.13,"body":"lousy proposition for you, which"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1409.13,"endTime":1412.13,"body":"is a version of I got bad news"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1409.13,"endTime":1412.13,"body":"coming, I'm sorry, I'm afraid"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1412.16,"endTime":1415.85,"body":"you ain't gonna like what I have"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1412.16,"endTime":1415.85,"body":"to say. And then I said, here's"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1415.85,"endTime":1420.02,"body":"the reality of what I could pay"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1415.85,"endTime":1420.02,"body":"over the next few months. I"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1420.02,"endTime":1425.03,"body":"wanted to offer this to you"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1420.02,"endTime":1425.03,"body":"first, before it took it to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1425.03,"endTime":1430.4,"body":"somebody else. Now, this is"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1425.03,"endTime":1430.4,"body":"triggering condiments last"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1430.7,"endTime":1437.42,"body":"theory. Now the money is theirs"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1430.7,"endTime":1437.42,"body":"to lose, not to gain and the"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1437.45,"endTime":1442.94,"body":"reality of the situation, which"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1437.45,"endTime":1442.94,"body":"I had one of them say, you said,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1442.94,"endTime":1445.19,"body":"you know, give me 24 hours to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1442.94,"endTime":1445.19,"body":"think about it. He called me"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1445.19,"endTime":1451.16,"body":"back. And he said, Well, you"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1445.19,"endTime":1451.16,"body":"know, $500 a day beats $0 a day."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1452.12,"endTime":1455.03,"body":"I needed him to make a"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1452.12,"endTime":1455.03,"body":"comparative of if he didn't"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1455.03,"endTime":1460.22,"body":"accept what I couldn't pay in"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1455.03,"endTime":1460.22,"body":"that timeframe, then he wasn't"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1460.22,"endTime":1464.81,"body":"gonna get paid at all. Now, if I"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1460.22,"endTime":1464.81,"body":"started out by saying, like,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1464.81,"endTime":1468.92,"body":"look, this is all I can pay, and"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1464.81,"endTime":1468.92,"body":"you can take it or leave it. But"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1468.92,"endTime":1472.67,"body":"if you leave it, you get"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1468.92,"endTime":1472.67,"body":"nothing. You know, that's"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1472.7,"endTime":1476.3,"body":"inflicting loss with no empathy,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1472.7,"endTime":1476.3,"body":"but no emotional intelligence"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1476.3,"endTime":1480.47,"body":"with no appreciation. And the"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1476.3,"endTime":1480.47,"body":"impact of that would have been"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1480.47,"endTime":1483.65,"body":"that would have made me the"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1480.47,"endTime":1483.65,"body":"biggest jerk in the world and"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1483.68,"endTime":1486.98,"body":"probably would have destroyed"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1483.68,"endTime":1486.98,"body":"our relationship, because loss"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1486.98,"endTime":1491.81,"body":"is that impactful. So it's just"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1486.98,"endTime":1491.81,"body":"really powerful tool that Danny"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1491.81,"endTime":1495.86,"body":"Kahneman told us works on all"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1491.81,"endTime":1495.86,"body":"human beings, which is why I got"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1495.86,"endTime":1500.33,"body":"the Nobel Prize for it. Because"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1495.86,"endTime":1500.33,"body":"it's on all people. It's not All"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1500.36,"endTime":1502.94,"body":"Americans kind of want to have"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1500.36,"endTime":1502.94,"body":"to be Israeli. It's not an"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1502.94,"endTime":1507.23,"body":"Israelis. You know, it's not on"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1502.94,"endTime":1507.23,"body":"English speakers. You know,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1507.23,"endTime":1511.52,"body":"it's, it's on humans, but loss"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1507.23,"endTime":1511.52,"body":"is twice as much as an"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1511.52,"endTime":1513.86,"body":"equivalent gain. And so you"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1511.52,"endTime":1513.86,"body":"gotta be careful with this"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1513.86,"endTime":1514.61,"body":"powerful weapon."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1514.64,"endTime":1518.96,"body":"Wow. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1514.64,"endTime":1518.96,"body":"that's huge. Now someone who's"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1518.96,"endTime":1521.81,"body":"not in your position who's not"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1518.96,"endTime":1521.81,"body":"an expert communicator and is"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1521.81,"endTime":1524.51,"body":"trying to learn these tools,"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1521.81,"endTime":1524.51,"body":"would you recommend that if"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1524.51,"endTime":1527.69,"body":"they're going into a difficult"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1524.51,"endTime":1527.69,"body":"conversation like that, they"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1527.69,"endTime":1531.53,"body":"write down their scripts ahead"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1527.69,"endTime":1531.53,"body":"of time just to make sure that"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1531.53,"endTime":1533.42,"body":"they're bringing in tactical"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1531.53,"endTime":1533.42,"body":"empathy."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1533.75,"endTime":1535.82,"body":"Yeah, I think it's a"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1533.75,"endTime":1535.82,"body":"great way to get yourself"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1535.82,"endTime":1540.11,"body":"started. And if you're writing"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1535.82,"endTime":1540.11,"body":"it down, to put a fine point on"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1540.11,"endTime":1545.06,"body":"it, handwriting is always better"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1540.11,"endTime":1545.06,"body":"than typing. There's, I haven't"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1545.06,"endTime":1548.39,"body":"seen any hard science before."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1545.06,"endTime":1548.39,"body":"But some of the things I've"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1548.39,"endTime":1551.84,"body":"heard, I believe to be true."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1548.39,"endTime":1551.84,"body":"Friend of mine once said, you"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1551.84,"endTime":1554.96,"body":"retain 40%. More if you"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1551.84,"endTime":1554.96,"body":"handwrite than versus if you"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1554.96,"endTime":1561.23,"body":"type i My theory is if you're"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1554.96,"endTime":1561.23,"body":"typing, you get 10 fingers."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1561.23,"endTime":1564.95,"body":"Ideally, if you type with 10"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1561.23,"endTime":1564.95,"body":"fingers that are multitasking,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1564.95,"endTime":1569.36,"body":"each fingers is engaged in a"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1564.95,"endTime":1569.36,"body":"different task simultaneously,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1569.36,"endTime":1572.9,"body":"which is bad for the brain. But"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1569.36,"endTime":1572.9,"body":"when your handwriting you've got"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1572.9,"endTime":1578.12,"body":"all five digits, on one hand,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1572.9,"endTime":1578.12,"body":"focused on one thing, and I"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1578.12,"endTime":1580.73,"body":"think that's one of the reasons"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1578.12,"endTime":1580.73,"body":"why handwriting is more"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1580.73,"endTime":1584.84,"body":"effective, because it forces"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1580.73,"endTime":1584.84,"body":"your brain to concentrate. I've"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1584.84,"endTime":1588.86,"body":"also found myself to memorize"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1584.84,"endTime":1588.86,"body":"things better when I had right"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1588.92,"endTime":1592.85,"body":"and simultaneously, I have more"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1588.92,"endTime":1592.85,"body":"creative ideas when I'm"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1592.85,"endTime":1593.42,"body":"handwriting."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1594.5,"endTime":1596.54,"body":"I agree, I"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1594.5,"endTime":1596.54,"body":"heard that as well. And I"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1596.54,"endTime":1598.64,"body":"haven't seen the science either"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1596.54,"endTime":1598.64,"body":"that your working memory"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1598.64,"endTime":1600.59,"body":"improves when you're writing"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1598.64,"endTime":1600.59,"body":"something down, so you're more"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1600.59,"endTime":1605.39,"body":"likely to retain it. A principal"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1600.59,"endTime":1605.39,"body":"told me that once Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1605.39,"endTime":1607.4,"body":"and I you know, I"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1605.39,"endTime":1607.4,"body":"thought it through and I'm like"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1607.4,"endTime":1611.27,"body":"alright, so I got all five"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1607.4,"endTime":1611.27,"body":"digits working together, is"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1611.27,"endTime":1614.27,"body":"drawing more of my brain into"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1611.27,"endTime":1614.27,"body":"the same place to me. I mean,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1614.27,"endTime":1616.16,"body":"that's, that's my reason why it"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1614.27,"endTime":1616.16,"body":"works."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1617.03,"endTime":1620.48,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1617.03,"endTime":1620.48,"body":"Something spurred thought when"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1620.48,"endTime":1623.57,"body":"you were talking about our"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1620.48,"endTime":1623.57,"body":"attention beings, all over the"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1623.57,"endTime":1627.2,"body":"place when we're typing, because"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1623.57,"endTime":1627.2,"body":"we have 10 digits that are in"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1627.2,"endTime":1631.94,"body":"different keys. Have you changed"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1627.2,"endTime":1631.94,"body":"your approach and communication"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1631.97,"endTime":1635.3,"body":"now compared to when you first"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1631.97,"endTime":1635.3,"body":"started years ago? Because"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1635.51,"endTime":1638.45,"body":"everyone's attention span has"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1635.51,"endTime":1638.45,"body":"shortened?"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1639.29,"endTime":1642.05,"body":"Yeah, no, I think"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1639.29,"endTime":1642.05,"body":"so. I mean, I've always tried to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1642.05,"endTime":1645.98,"body":"listen really well. My biggest"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1642.05,"endTime":1645.98,"body":"struggle is tone of voice is a"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1645.98,"endTime":1649.64,"body":"natural born assertive. If I"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1645.98,"endTime":1649.64,"body":"don't watch it, the assertive"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1649.67,"endTime":1653.06,"body":"tone of voice is is the tone"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1649.67,"endTime":1653.06,"body":"that's almost is pretty much"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1653.06,"endTime":1658.16,"body":"always counterproductive. And"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1653.06,"endTime":1658.16,"body":"then also, you know, I also have"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1658.16,"endTime":1661.13,"body":"told people that I have"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1658.16,"endTime":1661.13,"body":"arresting serial killer face."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1661.52,"endTime":1664.88,"body":"You know, if I'm listening"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1661.52,"endTime":1664.88,"body":"intently, you know, I'm gonna"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1664.88,"endTime":1668.21,"body":"scare you. Because, you know,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1664.88,"endTime":1668.21,"body":"yeah, I'll be listening so"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1668.21,"endTime":1670.7,"body":"intently, you'll think, you"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1668.21,"endTime":1670.7,"body":"know, I'm imagining chopping you"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1670.7,"endTime":1673.91,"body":"up and having your liver with"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1670.7,"endTime":1673.91,"body":"fava beans and a nice piano, or"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1673.91,"endTime":1674.63,"body":"something like that."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1674.84,"endTime":1676.82,"body":"So people"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1674.84,"endTime":1676.82,"body":"have a hard time looking at you"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1676.82,"endTime":1679.85,"body":"when you're listening intently."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1676.82,"endTime":1679.85,"body":"Oh, they're scared."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1680.87,"endTime":1683.24,"body":"Like it. I've"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1680.87,"endTime":1683.24,"body":"actually had people say that I"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1683.27,"endTime":1687.65,"body":"remember years ago. I'm trying"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1683.27,"endTime":1687.65,"body":"to decide. I joined the National"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1687.65,"endTime":1691.55,"body":"Speakers Association a long time"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1687.65,"endTime":1691.55,"body":"ago before the book came out."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1691.61,"endTime":1696.08,"body":"And I attended a meeting in LA"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1691.61,"endTime":1696.08,"body":"and the speaker is phenomenal"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1696.08,"endTime":1698.93,"body":"speaker just just absolutely"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1696.08,"endTime":1698.93,"body":"phenomenal. I learned so much"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1698.93,"endTime":1703.01,"body":"from her. And I, and it was a"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1698.93,"endTime":1703.01,"body":"small group. As you know,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1703.01,"endTime":1705.65,"body":"there's probably only about 20"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1703.01,"endTime":1705.65,"body":"of us in a room, not a big room."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1706.31,"endTime":1708.53,"body":"And I came up to her afterwards."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1706.31,"endTime":1708.53,"body":"And when I got to know her,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1708.53,"endTime":1712.25,"body":"she's like, Look, you scared me."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1708.53,"endTime":1712.25,"body":"I mean, the way you were the way"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1712.25,"endTime":1715.58,"body":"you were looking at me when I"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1712.25,"endTime":1715.58,"body":"was talking. I didn't know what"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1715.58,"endTime":1717.83,"body":"you had in mind whether you want"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1715.58,"endTime":1717.83,"body":"to kill me. What do you want to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1717.83,"endTime":1721.88,"body":"do? Like yeah, no, I'm sorry. I"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1717.83,"endTime":1721.88,"body":"got a serial killer face."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1723.68,"endTime":1726.44,"body":"Oh, that's"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1723.68,"endTime":1726.44,"body":"funny. That's funny. My husband"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1726.44,"endTime":1730.64,"body":"he has a very serious look on"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1726.44,"endTime":1730.64,"body":"him as well. So I'm always"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1730.64,"endTime":1733.25,"body":"thinking that he's mad or"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1730.64,"endTime":1733.25,"body":"agitated about something. It's"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1733.25,"endTime":1734.78,"body":"like well, yes. Stop it. You're"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1733.25,"endTime":1734.78,"body":"pissing."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1740.09,"endTime":1744.62,"body":"It's my look I love. Yes,"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1740.09,"endTime":1744.62,"body":"exactly. Don't you see I'm"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1744.62,"endTime":1749.0,"body":"smiling inside? No, I have no"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1744.62,"endTime":1749.0,"body":"idea your face never changes."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1749.57,"endTime":1752.45,"body":"And then he looks ridiculous"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1749.57,"endTime":1752.45,"body":"when he actually tries to change"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1752.45,"endTime":1760.7,"body":"his face like it's painful."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1752.45,"endTime":1760.7,"body":"Exactly, exactly. So another"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1760.7,"endTime":1765.32,"body":"question, if you don't mind."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1760.7,"endTime":1765.32,"body":"Accurate thinking, I know is a"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1765.32,"endTime":1770.09,"body":"strategy you teach and effective"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1765.32,"endTime":1770.09,"body":"communication. And with ADHD we"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1770.09,"endTime":1774.83,"body":"very often have a hard time"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1770.09,"endTime":1774.83,"body":"differentiating between story"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1774.89,"endTime":1779.87,"body":"and fact. Because of our past"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1774.89,"endTime":1779.87,"body":"negative experiences trauma,"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1779.9,"endTime":1784.31,"body":"rejection, shame. Do you have"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1779.9,"endTime":1784.31,"body":"any strategies to help in"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1784.34,"endTime":1788.24,"body":"understanding fat from story"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1784.34,"endTime":1788.24,"body":"with accurate thinking?"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1789.5,"endTime":1793.25,"body":"Every human being"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1789.5,"endTime":1793.25,"body":"and clearly people with ADHD"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1793.28,"endTime":1798.38,"body":"have it? This issue intensified."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1793.28,"endTime":1798.38,"body":"So you know, I'm not trying to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1798.38,"endTime":1802.67,"body":"make it sound like everybody has"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1798.38,"endTime":1802.67,"body":"the same Challenge. But there's"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1802.67,"endTime":1805.79,"body":"a certain amount of why we were"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1802.67,"endTime":1805.79,"body":"all wired to be negative. I"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1805.79,"endTime":1809.09,"body":"think of it as Mental Hygiene, I"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1805.79,"endTime":1809.09,"body":"need a consistent practice of"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1809.09,"endTime":1812.24,"body":"positive mental hygiene. Same"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1809.09,"endTime":1812.24,"body":"way, we need a consistent"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1812.24,"endTime":1815.99,"body":"practice of positive oral"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1812.24,"endTime":1815.99,"body":"hygiene. Which means you got to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1815.99,"endTime":1818.75,"body":"brush your teeth twice a day."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1815.99,"endTime":1818.75,"body":"Well, I brush my teeth yesterday"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1818.75,"endTime":1821.45,"body":"is that mean? I got to do it"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1818.75,"endTime":1821.45,"body":"again today what it does,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1821.96,"endTime":1825.23,"body":"because our default bio"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1821.96,"endTime":1825.23,"body":"mechanisms are working against"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1825.23,"endTime":1828.77,"body":"us, or our default mental"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1825.23,"endTime":1828.77,"body":"mechanisms were designed to be"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1828.77,"endTime":1832.1,"body":"negative. The negative human"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1828.77,"endTime":1832.1,"body":"being is the caveman that"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1832.1,"endTime":1836.33,"body":"survived. And that I've heard a"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1832.1,"endTime":1836.33,"body":"lot of discussions of it, you"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1836.33,"endTime":1839.6,"body":"know, the negativity in"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1836.33,"endTime":1839.6,"body":"particular, a negative thing and"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1839.6,"endTime":1843.08,"body":"a caveman's environment will"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1839.6,"endTime":1843.08,"body":"kill you a positive thing and a"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1843.08,"endTime":1845.75,"body":"caveman's environment doesn't"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1843.08,"endTime":1845.75,"body":"need to be paid attention to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1845.75,"endTime":1849.29,"body":"because it's not going to stop"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1845.75,"endTime":1849.29,"body":"your existence. So we do"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1849.29,"endTime":1853.46,"body":"overreact to negativity. What"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1849.29,"endTime":1853.46,"body":"does that mean? You gotta have a"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1853.46,"endTime":1858.83,"body":"regular practice of gratitude of"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1853.46,"endTime":1858.83,"body":"curiosity, there's a bunch of"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1858.86,"endTime":1861.77,"body":"things that you just got to do"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1858.86,"endTime":1861.77,"body":"to override the system and you"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1861.77,"endTime":1865.73,"body":"got to do it regularly. And it"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1861.77,"endTime":1865.73,"body":"could be a whole variety of"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1865.73,"endTime":1870.35,"body":"issues. Because you get into a"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1865.73,"endTime":1870.35,"body":"downward spiral. Otherwise, one"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1870.35,"endTime":1875.03,"body":"thing is a gratitude exercise to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1870.35,"endTime":1875.03,"body":"start your day. Another thing"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1875.06,"endTime":1879.77,"body":"that I have found that I'm"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1875.06,"endTime":1879.77,"body":"inconsistent, somebody pointed"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1879.77,"endTime":1884.15,"body":"out an exercise to me the other"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1879.77,"endTime":1884.15,"body":"day, find three new things in my"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1884.18,"endTime":1887.81,"body":"environment that I like every"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1884.18,"endTime":1887.81,"body":"day, three new lights every day."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1888.41,"endTime":1891.98,"body":"But there's got to be some sort"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1888.41,"endTime":1891.98,"body":"of intentional override of this"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1892.01,"endTime":1894.29,"body":"system, otherwise, you will get"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1892.01,"endTime":1894.29,"body":"into a downward"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1894.29,"endTime":1896.33,"body":"spiral."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1894.29,"endTime":1896.33,"body":"Absolutely. I heard somewhere"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1896.33,"endTime":1900.26,"body":"that 80% of our thoughts are"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1896.33,"endTime":1900.26,"body":"negative and 95% of our thoughts"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1900.29,"endTime":1904.01,"body":"are repetitive. So if you think"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1900.29,"endTime":1904.01,"body":"of it that way, and that's"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1904.01,"endTime":1908.78,"body":"everyone. And then you add ADHD"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1904.01,"endTime":1908.78,"body":"to the mix, and we are receiving"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1908.81,"endTime":1912.53,"body":"10,000 more negative messages in"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1908.81,"endTime":1912.53,"body":"childhood than a neurotypical."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1912.53,"endTime":1915.74,"body":"So it's hard. And I like what"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1912.53,"endTime":1915.74,"body":"you said about like the negative"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1915.74,"endTime":1919.91,"body":"caveman, because it's true like"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1915.74,"endTime":1919.91,"body":"you when, you know, I don't know"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1919.91,"endTime":1924.47,"body":"if it's generational or what,"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1919.91,"endTime":1924.47,"body":"but in order to survive, we had"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1924.47,"endTime":1930.86,"body":"to constantly be on alert. Then"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1924.47,"endTime":1930.86,"body":"we had threats in front of us"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1930.86,"endTime":1931.52,"body":"all the time."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1931.73,"endTime":1935.21,"body":"Yeah. Because yeah,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1931.73,"endTime":1935.21,"body":"negative stuff will kill you."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1936.68,"endTime":1938.69,"body":"I have"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1936.68,"endTime":1938.69,"body":"another question. Going back to"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1938.72,"endTime":1943.46,"body":"tactical empathy. So with"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1938.72,"endTime":1943.46,"body":"emotional dysregulation, it's"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1943.46,"endTime":1948.53,"body":"hard sometimes to understand"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1943.46,"endTime":1948.53,"body":"what the other person is feeling"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1948.59,"endTime":1952.97,"body":"or what we're feeling, too. How"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1948.59,"endTime":1952.97,"body":"can you tap into that?"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":1953.72,"endTime":1954.47,"body":"intentionally"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1954.47,"endTime":1957.11,"body":"making it when I'm"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1954.47,"endTime":1957.11,"body":"listening for versus awards?"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1958.13,"endTime":1961.25,"body":"Like if I if I lay back and just"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1958.13,"endTime":1961.25,"body":"kind of forget about what you're"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1961.25,"endTime":1966.17,"body":"actually saying, and focus on"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1961.25,"endTime":1966.17,"body":"the emotions behind it, then"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1966.17,"endTime":1968.87,"body":"pretty soon, I'll know you're"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1966.17,"endTime":1968.87,"body":"going to say before you say,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1970.25,"endTime":1978.44,"body":"Now, that sounds easy. And it's"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1970.25,"endTime":1978.44,"body":"a lot harder to execute. But"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1978.44,"endTime":1982.52,"body":"there have been points in time"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1978.44,"endTime":1982.52,"body":"in my life. Back when I was"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1982.52,"endTime":1986.51,"body":"volunteered on a crisis hotline"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1982.52,"endTime":1986.51,"body":"in New York City. And I just get"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1986.51,"endTime":1990.74,"body":"it in my head, just emotional"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1986.51,"endTime":1990.74,"body":"level all the time. And I've had"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1990.74,"endTime":1995.03,"body":"people say, Why you read my"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1990.74,"endTime":1995.03,"body":"mind. And my reaction would be"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1995.03,"endTime":1998.9,"body":"like, Wow, I was reading your"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1995.03,"endTime":1998.9,"body":"emotions, and you felt like I"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1998.9,"endTime":2002.38,"body":"was reading your mind. So well,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":1998.9,"endTime":2002.38,"body":"you know, what am I listening"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2002.38,"endTime":2005.23,"body":"for? As soon as I start getting"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2002.38,"endTime":2005.23,"body":"into the habit of listening"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2005.23,"endTime":2008.41,"body":"exclusively for motions, you're"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2005.23,"endTime":2008.41,"body":"going to feel very connected to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2008.41,"endTime":2010.75,"body":"me and I'm going to miss a lot"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2008.41,"endTime":2010.75,"body":"less."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2012.22,"endTime":2015.28,"body":"Can you give"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2012.22,"endTime":2015.28,"body":"like one or two things that you"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2015.79,"endTime":2021.4,"body":"now you can tune into when"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2015.79,"endTime":2021.4,"body":"someone is talking? To help them"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2021.43,"endTime":2023.02,"body":"listen into emotions?"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2023.47,"endTime":2026.14,"body":"Um, you know, that's"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2023.47,"endTime":2026.14,"body":"a pretty educated guess. What's"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2026.14,"endTime":2030.76,"body":"the educated guess I'll make an"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2026.14,"endTime":2030.76,"body":"advance. I'll take a look. Look"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2030.76,"endTime":2032.65,"body":"at your face. And guess like,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2030.76,"endTime":2032.65,"body":"alright, so you look"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2032.65,"endTime":2035.83,"body":"preoccupied. If you're"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2032.65,"endTime":2035.83,"body":"preoccupied, something you're"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2035.83,"endTime":2039.73,"body":"worried about concern. People"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2035.83,"endTime":2039.73,"body":"are rarely preoccupied with"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2039.73,"endTime":2044.5,"body":"positivity. They're usually"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2039.73,"endTime":2044.5,"body":"preoccupied with negativity. So"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2044.5,"endTime":2047.08,"body":"I'll start saying like, Oh, you"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2044.5,"endTime":2047.08,"body":"know what's going on here? I'd"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2047.08,"endTime":2051.34,"body":"say you look concerned, the type"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2047.08,"endTime":2051.34,"body":"of emotion there's a bit of a"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2051.34,"endTime":2053.2,"body":"timeline. If you're concerned,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2051.34,"endTime":2053.2,"body":"you're worried about something"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2053.2,"endTime":2056.65,"body":"in the future. If you're angry,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2053.2,"endTime":2056.65,"body":"you're hurt about something that"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2056.65,"endTime":2060.82,"body":"happened in the past. The type"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2056.65,"endTime":2060.82,"body":"of emotion is going to tell me"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2060.82,"endTime":2064.18,"body":"on a timeline in your existence"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2060.82,"endTime":2064.18,"body":"is in front of you, or is it"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2064.18,"endTime":2067.75,"body":"behind you? And then I'm going"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2064.18,"endTime":2067.75,"body":"to start to get more clues as to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2067.75,"endTime":2071.59,"body":"what's going on even pointed out"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2067.75,"endTime":2071.59,"body":"to you understand the difference"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2071.59,"endTime":2075.79,"body":"between anger and frustration."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2071.59,"endTime":2075.79,"body":"Those are two very different"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2075.79,"endTime":2079.21,"body":"problem sets that you're"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2075.79,"endTime":2079.21,"body":"struggling with. Frustration is"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2079.21,"endTime":2083.32,"body":"about the future. Anger is about"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2079.21,"endTime":2083.32,"body":"the past. I'll begin to look for"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2083.32,"endTime":2086.95,"body":"clues in your life timeline of"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2083.32,"endTime":2086.95,"body":"the emotions that you're"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2086.95,"endTime":2090.85,"body":"struggling with is going to tell"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2086.95,"endTime":2090.85,"body":"me where your attention is. Hmm."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2091.3,"endTime":2093.91,"body":"I like that."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2091.3,"endTime":2093.91,"body":"Because when you were on the"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2093.91,"endTime":2098.11,"body":"phone at the crisis hotline, you"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2093.91,"endTime":2098.11,"body":"weren't seeing them. So you had"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2098.11,"endTime":2101.8,"body":"to understand the timeline. Have"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2098.11,"endTime":2101.8,"body":"their history or just"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2101.8,"endTime":2105.01,"body":"dial into the voice"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2101.8,"endTime":2105.01,"body":"only. I mean, it's a great"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2105.01,"endTime":2109.87,"body":"exercise for just dialing into"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2105.01,"endTime":2109.87,"body":"voice period. Like there's so"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2109.87,"endTime":2114.76,"body":"much information in the voice."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2109.87,"endTime":2114.76,"body":"If you're confined, you know, I"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2114.76,"endTime":2119.05,"body":"don't know, there's sort of the"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2114.76,"endTime":2119.05,"body":"stereotype that when somebody"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2119.05,"endTime":2123.7,"body":"goes blind that all their other"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2119.05,"endTime":2123.7,"body":"senses become heightened. And"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2123.7,"endTime":2126.7,"body":"maybe it's just because they're"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2123.7,"endTime":2126.7,"body":"caused to focus on your hearing"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2126.7,"endTime":2130.51,"body":"because their sights taken away."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2126.7,"endTime":2130.51,"body":"And if that's true at all, I"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2130.51,"endTime":2133.63,"body":"would analogize that to crisis"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2130.51,"endTime":2133.63,"body":"hotline on the phone."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2133.84,"endTime":2136.72,"body":"Thank you."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2133.84,"endTime":2136.72,"body":"Appreciate that. And one of the"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2136.72,"endTime":2141.58,"body":"last questions I have is when"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2136.72,"endTime":2141.58,"body":"people disagree, right, we're"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2141.58,"endTime":2146.65,"body":"talking over each other, we just"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2141.58,"endTime":2146.65,"body":"can't get to a resolution, you"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2146.65,"endTime":2152.83,"body":"say compromises bullshit. So and"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2146.65,"endTime":2152.83,"body":"there's like valid reasons for"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2152.83,"endTime":2156.43,"body":"saying that because everyone"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2152.83,"endTime":2156.43,"body":"loses in that. So what do you"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2156.43,"endTime":2161.62,"body":"recommend if people two sides"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2156.43,"endTime":2161.62,"body":"just cannot agree on something?"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2162.22,"endTime":2164.59,"body":"But when people"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2162.22,"endTime":2164.59,"body":"disagree that the first and"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2164.59,"endTime":2169.18,"body":"biggest and it's not the only"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2164.59,"endTime":2169.18,"body":"chunk, but the first and biggest"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2169.18,"endTime":2172.06,"body":"obstacle in disagreement is"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2169.18,"endTime":2172.06,"body":"whether or not somebody actually"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2172.06,"endTime":2178.3,"body":"feels heard. And when you feel"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2172.06,"endTime":2178.3,"body":"heard, actually a number of"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2178.3,"endTime":2181.3,"body":"different neural chemicals kick"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2178.3,"endTime":2181.3,"body":"into gear which change the"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2181.3,"endTime":2185.38,"body":"conversation. You know, that's"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2181.3,"endTime":2185.38,"body":"why empathy seems like what good"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2185.38,"endTime":2189.01,"body":"is to do to let somebody know"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2185.38,"endTime":2189.01,"body":"that they are understood? Well,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2189.01,"endTime":2191.68,"body":"if I can make you feel"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2189.01,"endTime":2191.68,"body":"understood, most likely you're"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2191.68,"endTime":2194.29,"body":"going to get hit of the"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2191.68,"endTime":2194.29,"body":"neurochemicals, oxytocin and"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2194.29,"endTime":2200.32,"body":"serotonin, just by the feeling"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2194.29,"endTime":2200.32,"body":"of being truly understood. So"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2200.32,"endTime":2206.8,"body":"what is oxytocin? Oxytocin binds"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2200.32,"endTime":2206.8,"body":"you to me. And oxytocin also"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2206.8,"endTime":2212.56,"body":"inclines you to tell the truth."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2206.8,"endTime":2212.56,"body":"Hmm, it was a nuance I picked up"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2212.56,"endTime":2216.19,"body":"on Andrew Huber wins podcast, he"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2212.56,"endTime":2216.19,"body":"was talking about relationships."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2216.67,"endTime":2220.93,"body":"And oxytocin Vantur Haberman,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2216.67,"endTime":2220.93,"body":"and he kicked that one out that"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2220.93,"endTime":2223.84,"body":"if you're more honest, when you"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2220.93,"endTime":2223.84,"body":"get your own oxytocin, I was"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2223.84,"endTime":2229.09,"body":"like, Oh, that explains a lot."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2223.84,"endTime":2229.09,"body":"And then there's the kicker of"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2229.09,"endTime":2233.23,"body":"serotonin. Serotonin is a"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2229.09,"endTime":2233.23,"body":"feeling of satisfaction. So"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2233.23,"endTime":2237.82,"body":"you're satisfied, you want less"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2233.23,"endTime":2237.82,"body":"just by being feeling that you"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2237.82,"endTime":2242.74,"body":"were hurt. So imagine the amount"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2237.82,"endTime":2242.74,"body":"of disagreement this is going to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2242.74,"endTime":2245.59,"body":"go away. If you bond to me,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2242.74,"endTime":2245.59,"body":"you're honest with me and you're"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2245.59,"endTime":2250.06,"body":"more satisfied. It's going to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2245.59,"endTime":2250.06,"body":"cause a lot, if not all of the"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2250.06,"endTime":2253.69,"body":"disagreement to go away. And a"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2250.06,"endTime":2253.69,"body":"lot of disagreements are simply"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2253.69,"endTime":2260.47,"body":"over being hurt. So I will cut"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2253.69,"endTime":2260.47,"body":"down a lot more of this or I may"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2261.64,"endTime":2266.86,"body":"get clues to the rest of it."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2261.64,"endTime":2266.86,"body":"Like I'm I'm listening to big"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2266.89,"endTime":2272.5,"body":"consumer podcasts in general,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2266.89,"endTime":2272.5,"body":"Andrew Huberman and Lex"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2272.5,"endTime":2277.51,"body":"Friedman, both listen to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2272.5,"endTime":2277.51,"body":"Friedman's interview of Mohamed"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2277.51,"endTime":2282.49,"body":"El card, Palestinian poet, have"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2277.51,"endTime":2282.49,"body":"been listening to it intensely"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2283.3,"endTime":2286.03,"body":"over the last couple days"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2283.3,"endTime":2286.03,"body":"because of the current situation"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2286.06,"endTime":2292.66,"body":"in Gaza. And Lex asked these"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2286.06,"endTime":2292.66,"body":"great questions in a very"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2292.66,"endTime":2296.62,"body":"empathic, empathic, non"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2292.66,"endTime":2296.62,"body":"judgmental, you know, I believe"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2296.62,"endTime":2300.49,"body":"in the beauty of communication"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2296.62,"endTime":2300.49,"body":"and beauty of all mankind. And"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2300.49,"endTime":2304.45,"body":"he's asking Muhammad occurred,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2300.49,"endTime":2304.45,"body":"does he have hate in his heart?"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2304.81,"endTime":2308.47,"body":"And he asked him in such a nice"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2304.81,"endTime":2308.47,"body":"way that while many occurrences"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2308.47,"endTime":2313.33,"body":"he does, and then he kind of"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2308.47,"endTime":2313.33,"body":"says, Why are you hanging on to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2313.33,"endTime":2316.87,"body":"it? How's it helping you? He"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2313.33,"endTime":2316.87,"body":"says it far more eloquently than"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2316.87,"endTime":2321.13,"body":"that. No courage says that it"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2316.87,"endTime":2321.13,"body":"helps him retain his dignity."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2321.67,"endTime":2326.68,"body":"Now, I would never have guessed"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2321.67,"endTime":2326.68,"body":"that and 9 billion years. Like"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2326.68,"endTime":2332.68,"body":"from a from a distance. It's a"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2326.68,"endTime":2332.68,"body":"cliche that hate is taking a"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2332.68,"endTime":2337.24,"body":"poison and hoping somebody else"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2332.68,"endTime":2337.24,"body":"dies. It poisons you and not the"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2337.24,"endTime":2341.44,"body":"other person. And I've always"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2337.24,"endTime":2341.44,"body":"been mystified to some people's"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2341.44,"endTime":2346.24,"body":"determination to hold on to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2341.44,"endTime":2346.24,"body":"hate. And when he said that I"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2346.24,"endTime":2352.81,"body":"like Oh, my God. Yes, of course."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2346.24,"endTime":2352.81,"body":"And that's why some people have"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2352.81,"endTime":2357.76,"body":"such a horrific time letting go"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2352.81,"endTime":2357.76,"body":"of it. And I thought, well, the"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2357.76,"endTime":2360.55,"body":"next time I'm in a conversation,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2357.76,"endTime":2360.55,"body":"I'm going to have more an"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2360.55,"endTime":2364.69,"body":"appreciation for the emotional"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2360.55,"endTime":2364.69,"body":"driver over there. Because as a"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2364.69,"endTime":2367.63,"body":"human being the trend is hanging"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2364.69,"endTime":2367.63,"body":"on to their shreds of dignity,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2367.63,"endTime":2372.76,"body":"which now opens up another"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2367.63,"endTime":2372.76,"body":"avenue of resolution and helps"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2372.76,"endTime":2376.96,"body":"me appreciate even more than"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2372.76,"endTime":2376.96,"body":"need to work to preserve the"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2377.02,"endTime":2379.51,"body":"other side's dignity or even"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2377.02,"endTime":2379.51,"body":"recognize that in a"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2379.51,"endTime":2384.64,"body":"conversation. And these nuances"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2379.51,"endTime":2384.64,"body":"like that come from actually"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2384.64,"endTime":2387.58,"body":"hearing somebody out. So there's"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2384.64,"endTime":2387.58,"body":"a really good chance in an"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2387.58,"endTime":2391.72,"body":"intractable disagreement. If"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2387.58,"endTime":2391.72,"body":"you're really looking to hear"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2391.72,"endTime":2395.74,"body":"somebody out, they're going to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2391.72,"endTime":2395.74,"body":"be clues to a whole new avenue"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2395.74,"endTime":2400.75,"body":"of resolution that would never"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2395.74,"endTime":2400.75,"body":"have occurred to you If you"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2400.75,"endTime":2403.9,"body":"didn't step through a couple of"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2400.75,"endTime":2403.9,"body":"the initial doors, that's"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2403.93,"endTime":2407.32,"body":"fascinating."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2403.93,"endTime":2407.32,"body":"Yeah, and Lex Friedman is Jewish"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2407.32,"endTime":2412.69,"body":"too. So you know to be so"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2407.32,"endTime":2412.69,"body":"empathetic and wise with his"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2412.69,"endTime":2416.32,"body":"words about the war in Gaza."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2412.69,"endTime":2416.32,"body":"It's powerful. I saw him with"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2416.32,"endTime":2419.05,"body":"Elon Musk, too. That's a"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2416.32,"endTime":2419.05,"body":"powerful interview as well."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2419.35,"endTime":2423.46,"body":"Yeah. Yeah. I'm big,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2419.35,"endTime":2423.46,"body":"big Lex big Lex Freeman fan. I"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2423.46,"endTime":2427.27,"body":"think, you know, I love"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2423.46,"endTime":2427.27,"body":"listening to his approach. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2427.27,"endTime":2432.19,"body":"just so calm,"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2427.27,"endTime":2432.19,"body":"his tone of voice is calming."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2432.64,"endTime":2437.05,"body":"And he doesn't really give too"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2432.64,"endTime":2437.05,"body":"much opinion. It's more just"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2437.35,"endTime":2439.57,"body":"thoughts. Are your thoughts"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2437.35,"endTime":2439.57,"body":"about this?"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2439.66,"endTime":2441.97,"body":"There? Yeah. And"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2439.66,"endTime":2441.97,"body":"good questions."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2443.14,"endTime":2446.38,"body":"Great"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2443.14,"endTime":2446.38,"body":"questions. Agreed. And this is a"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2446.38,"endTime":2449.92,"body":"side note to ADHD. But since you"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2446.38,"endTime":2449.92,"body":"brought up Gaza, do you think"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2449.92,"endTime":2454.24,"body":"that the world can ever not have"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2449.92,"endTime":2454.24,"body":"war?"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2456.55,"endTime":2458.2,"body":"Don't know that"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2456.55,"endTime":2458.2,"body":"we're ever going to escape it"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2458.2,"endTime":2461.38,"body":"entirely. Does that mean that"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2458.2,"endTime":2461.38,"body":"I'm still not going to do as"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2461.38,"endTime":2465.04,"body":"much as I could possibly,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2461.38,"endTime":2465.04,"body":"though, to deactivate as much of"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2465.04,"endTime":2469.39,"body":"it as possible? You know, and I"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2465.04,"endTime":2469.39,"body":"personally am willing to accept"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2469.39,"endTime":2472.45,"body":"fighting that losing battle,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2469.39,"endTime":2472.45,"body":"every everything that I can"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2472.45,"endTime":2476.89,"body":"possibly do to impact to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2472.45,"endTime":2476.89,"body":"increase empathy, the more we"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2476.89,"endTime":2479.74,"body":"increase understanding, empathy"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2476.89,"endTime":2479.74,"body":"is not agreement and empathy is"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2479.74,"endTime":2483.31,"body":"not sympathy. Empathy is not"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2479.74,"endTime":2483.31,"body":"compassion, although it's a"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2483.31,"endTime":2488.95,"body":"compassionate thing to do. So"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2483.31,"endTime":2488.95,"body":"the more that we can add, just"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2488.95,"endTime":2492.49,"body":"simple understanding of one or"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2488.95,"endTime":2492.49,"body":"another, and respect will"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2492.49,"endTime":2495.19,"body":"diminish war as much as we"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2492.49,"endTime":2495.19,"body":"possibly can whether or not we"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2495.19,"endTime":2500.17,"body":"can ever escape it. You know,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2495.19,"endTime":2500.17,"body":"probably that let me just"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2500.17,"endTime":2501.76,"body":"diminish it as much as possible."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2502.39,"endTime":2504.4,"body":"And this"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2502.39,"endTime":2504.4,"body":"term, I don't know if I'm"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2504.4,"endTime":2508.75,"body":"quoting it correctly, is it"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2504.4,"endTime":2508.75,"body":"white slating where you just"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2508.75,"endTime":2513.43,"body":"fall on the sword and"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2508.75,"endTime":2513.43,"body":"essentially, like apologize for"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2513.43,"endTime":2515.98,"body":"everything that has taken place"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2513.43,"endTime":2515.98,"body":"and try to move forward. So the"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2515.98,"endTime":2517.18,"body":"person's listening?"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2518.74,"endTime":2522.1,"body":"Well, it's probably"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2518.74,"endTime":2522.1,"body":"close to what you're talking"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2522.1,"endTime":2524.53,"body":"about. We you know, and we've"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2522.1,"endTime":2524.53,"body":"got a strategy called the"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2524.53,"endTime":2530.47,"body":"accusations audit, which is me"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2524.53,"endTime":2530.47,"body":"recognizing the accusations you"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2530.5,"endTime":2534.37,"body":"either do might or will have"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2530.5,"endTime":2534.37,"body":"against me, not admitting them,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2534.4,"endTime":2538.15,"body":"simply recognizing them, and"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2534.4,"endTime":2538.15,"body":"show you that I'm not afraid of"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2538.18,"endTime":2541.87,"body":"the negativity that you may"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2538.18,"endTime":2541.87,"body":"think about me. And me and my"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2541.87,"endTime":2547.72,"body":"team, we teach that to be very"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2541.87,"endTime":2547.72,"body":"proactive with that. And we find"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2547.72,"endTime":2551.14,"body":"it to be a great way to clear"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2547.72,"endTime":2551.14,"body":"the air and to clear pupils"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2551.14,"endTime":2551.56,"body":"think,"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2552.73,"endTime":2555.67,"body":"yeah, we do"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2552.73,"endTime":2555.67,"body":"that my husband is in sales and"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2555.67,"endTime":2558.82,"body":"marketing. And he taught me that"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2555.67,"endTime":2558.82,"body":"strategy from you. And at the"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2558.82,"endTime":2563.83,"body":"end of a sales call, to do the"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2558.82,"endTime":2563.83,"body":"accusation audit, if they have"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2563.83,"endTime":2567.46,"body":"time that they need to think"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2563.83,"endTime":2567.46,"body":"about it, or you know, whatever,"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2567.46,"endTime":2572.2,"body":"to just make sure that they feel"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2567.46,"endTime":2572.2,"body":"comfortable saying now, getting"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2572.2,"endTime":2575.77,"body":"all that out. We're not judging"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2572.2,"endTime":2575.77,"body":"them. Exactly."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2575.77,"endTime":2578.08,"body":"It's just getting it"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2575.77,"endTime":2578.08,"body":"out in the air. It's kind of"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2578.08,"endTime":2579.4,"body":"that simple. What"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2579.4,"endTime":2581.89,"body":"would you"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2579.4,"endTime":2581.89,"body":"leave the listeners here with"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2581.89,"endTime":2585.25,"body":"today? One thing and I think I"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2581.89,"endTime":2585.25,"body":"know, you're gonna say, because"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2585.25,"endTime":2589.54,"body":"you brought it up a few times,"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2585.25,"endTime":2589.54,"body":"one suggestion that you have for"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2589.57,"endTime":2593.47,"body":"effective communication for all."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2589.57,"endTime":2593.47,"body":"Just hear"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2593.47,"endTime":2596.02,"body":"people out, make"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2593.47,"endTime":2596.02,"body":"them feel that you heard him"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2596.02,"endTime":2601.78,"body":"out. If you let somebody know,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2596.02,"endTime":2601.78,"body":"and confirm to them that they've"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2601.78,"endTime":2606.52,"body":"been heard, you're going to be"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2601.78,"endTime":2606.52,"body":"astonished at how it will"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2606.52,"endTime":2609.73,"body":"accelerate communication and"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2606.52,"endTime":2609.73,"body":"collaboration. And it's not"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2609.73,"endTime":2612.88,"body":"saying I understand what you're"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2609.73,"endTime":2612.88,"body":"saying. It's feeding back what"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2612.88,"endTime":2617.08,"body":"you what you believe that"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2612.88,"endTime":2617.08,"body":"understanding to be articulating"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2617.08,"endTime":2619.15,"body":"it, that's the only way"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2617.08,"endTime":2619.15,"body":"somebody's going to feel heard,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2619.66,"endTime":2624.1,"body":"is if you check in and say,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2619.66,"endTime":2624.1,"body":"here's what I think you're"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2624.1,"endTime":2629.95,"body":"saying, in any way, the more"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2624.1,"endTime":2629.95,"body":"effort you seem to derail a"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2629.95,"endTime":2633.7,"body":"conversation by taking the time"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2629.95,"endTime":2633.7,"body":"out to make somebody feel heard."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2634.54,"endTime":2637.45,"body":"It's going to accelerate"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2634.54,"endTime":2637.45,"body":"everything make people feel"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2637.45,"endTime":2640.45,"body":"heard, and life is going to be a"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2637.45,"endTime":2640.45,"body":"lot more pleasant."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2641.17,"endTime":2643.57,"body":"I love that."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2641.17,"endTime":2643.57,"body":"And thank you so much for coming"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2643.57,"endTime":2648.43,"body":"on. So successful with ADHD. If"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2643.57,"endTime":2648.43,"body":"anyone wants help with"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2648.43,"endTime":2651.16,"body":"communication negotiation, where"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2648.43,"endTime":2651.16,"body":"can they find you?"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2651.22,"endTime":2653.71,"body":"Yeah, we'll have the"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2651.22,"endTime":2653.71,"body":"best kind of a two step thing"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2653.74,"endTime":2661.33,"body":"our website is black swan"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2653.74,"endTime":2661.33,"body":"ltd.com B la CK Swa n ltd.com."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2661.33,"endTime":2664.75,"body":"There are no crazy silent"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2661.33,"endTime":2664.75,"body":"consonants in there you know,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2665.62,"endTime":2668.2,"body":"and we put out a weekly"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2665.62,"endTime":2668.2,"body":"newsletter which is"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2668.2,"endTime":2671.8,"body":"complimentary, it's free, but"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2668.2,"endTime":2671.8,"body":"the most important thing about"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2671.8,"endTime":2676.0,"body":"it is concise. So go to the"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2671.8,"endTime":2676.0,"body":"website, click on a tab for the"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2676.0,"endTime":2680.47,"body":"edge, which gives you are we"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2676.0,"endTime":2680.47,"body":"believe a communication edge."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2681.07,"endTime":2684.91,"body":"You sign up you get an email to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2681.07,"endTime":2684.91,"body":"you on Tuesday morning. And"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2684.91,"endTime":2689.02,"body":"you'll get concise, actionable"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2684.91,"endTime":2689.02,"body":"article every Tuesday morning"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2689.05,"endTime":2692.08,"body":"that will take you know time to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2689.05,"endTime":2692.08,"body":"get through some of the 100"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2692.08,"endTime":2696.37,"body":"Awards ish and and plus the"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2692.08,"endTime":2696.37,"body":"edges a gateway to everything."},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2696.37,"endTime":2699.97,"body":"We have got a lot on the website"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2696.37,"endTime":2699.97,"body":"a lot of free stuff in the edge"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2700.0,"endTime":2704.77,"body":"is the way to get there. So I"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2700.0,"endTime":2704.77,"body":"would invite anyone that is"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2704.77,"endTime":2707.41,"body":"interested in learning more to"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2704.77,"endTime":2707.41,"body":"sign up for a newsletter."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2708.01,"endTime":2710.02,"body":"I agree with"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2708.01,"endTime":2710.02,"body":"that. I get your newsletters."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2710.02,"endTime":2713.38,"body":"They're amazing. And after you"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2710.02,"endTime":2713.38,"body":"realize how amazing they are, go"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2713.38,"endTime":2716.77,"body":"buy his book never split the"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2713.38,"endTime":2716.77,"body":"difference. When's your next one"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2716.77,"endTime":2717.37,"body":"coming out?"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2718.48,"endTime":2720.49,"body":"Ah, you know, I"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2718.48,"endTime":2720.49,"body":"don't know we're working. We got"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2720.49,"endTime":2724.84,"body":"a lot of other projects in the"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2720.49,"endTime":2724.84,"body":"pipeline other than a book so we"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2724.84,"endTime":2726.91,"body":"just keep trading and putting"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2724.84,"endTime":2726.91,"body":"material out."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2728.02,"endTime":2730.45,"body":"Yeah, I hear"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2728.02,"endTime":2730.45,"body":"that. Well, everything you put"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2730.45,"endTime":2735.01,"body":"out there is gold. So I very"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2730.45,"endTime":2735.01,"body":"much appreciate your time. Time"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2735.01,"endTime":2738.82,"body":"is money and time is valuable."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2735.01,"endTime":2738.82,"body":"And thank you for listening and"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2738.82,"endTime":2741.85,"body":"sharing your gold with our"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2738.82,"endTime":2741.85,"body":"community here today. pleasure"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2741.85,"endTime":2743.56,"body":"was mine, Brock,"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2741.85,"endTime":2743.56,"body":"thank you for thank you for"},{"speaker":"Chris Voss","startTime":2743.56,"endTime":2744.13,"body":"having me on."},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2755.98,"endTime":2757.9,"body":"Thanks for"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2755.98,"endTime":2757.9,"body":"listening to this episode of"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2757.9,"endTime":2762.04,"body":"successful with ADHD. I hope it"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2757.9,"endTime":2762.04,"body":"helps you on your journey. And"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2762.04,"endTime":2765.94,"body":"if you need any additional"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2762.04,"endTime":2765.94,"body":"support for you or a loved one"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2765.94,"endTime":2769.54,"body":"with ADHD, feel free to reach"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2765.94,"endTime":2769.54,"body":"out to us at coaching with"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2769.54,"endTime":2774.01,"body":"brooke.com and all social media"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2769.54,"endTime":2774.01,"body":"platforms at coaching with"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2774.01,"endTime":2778.33,"body":"Brooke and remember, it's Brooke"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2774.01,"endTime":2778.33,"body":"with Annie. Thanks again for"},{"speaker":"Brooke Schnittman","startTime":2778.33,"endTime":2780.31,"body":"listening. See you next time."}]}