Work, Love, and Code Blue: Dating in Healthcare

Is it love… or just shared trauma and back-to-back 12s?

In this episode of Nursing Lyfe 101, Christopher and Colby dive into one of the most controversial topics in healthcare—dating your coworkers. From dating within your own unit to navigating relationships across departments, they unpack the real-life stories, workplace drama, and lessons learned from love on the floor.

💬 Should you tell your manager?

📋 What’s the risk of unit gossip and awkward breakups?

📣 How do you keep things professional—or know when to walk away?

Plus, the Listener Pulse segment features wild, honest takes from nurses all over the country, sharing their own experiences with dating in scrubs.

Whether you’ve found love on night shift or learned the hard way that HR does get involved, this episode will have you laughing, nodding, and questioning your work crush.

Transcript

Episode Introduction

Christopher 0:00

Welcome to Nursing Lyfe 101, the most important nursing class you never got to take in nursing school. We will be traversing different objectives, like interviewing, what to do in nursing school, boundaries, burnout and so much more. If this interests you, I hope you are taking good notes because class to Nursing Lyfe 101. We're so excited to have you here with us as we dive into the world of nursing, sharing our experiences, insights and a little bit of fun along the way. I'm Christopher and I couldn't be happier to introduce my co-host.

Colby 0:58

Hey guys, it's Colby. Together, we'll be bringing you real stories, practical tips and discussions about all things nursing, Whether you're a fellow nurse or just curious about the life behind the scrubs, we're thrilled to have you join us.

Christopher 1:08

You know we really missed the ball here. We could have did this episode in February.

Colby 1:14

For Valentine's Day.

Christopher 1:15

For Valentine's Day.

Christopher 1:17

Oh well,

Colby 1:17

Dang

Christopher 1:18

Is there some romantic thing in June? Oh, the strawberry moon,

Colby 1:21

nothing like summer love,

Colby 1:22

oh the strawberry moon,

Christopher 1:24

oh.

Dating Within Your Own Unit

Colby 1:26

Summer loving. Had me a blast. Well, and with that being said, today we're talking about romantic relationships within the organization, which sounds like we're talking about the mob. Well, sometimes it could feel that way.

Christopher 1:46

Sometimes it depends. So we'll start with, like various units and we'll kind of branch out like little segments

Colby 1:59

okay,

Christopher 1:59

and then we'll branch out.

Colby 2:00

I'm going to let you guide the ship on this one and see where we're taking it, how you picture.

Christopher 2:05

Well, okay, so we'll first start with within your own unit.

Colby 2:10

Dating within your own unit.

Christopher 2:11

Dating within your own unit.

Colby 2:12

Do you recommend it? One, two, three. No, you were supposed to say no too.

Christopher 2:21

I mean, the thing is, though I've seen it work.

Colby 2:28

And we've seen it not work.

Christopher 2:29

I know, I know.

Christopher 2:30

And usually it's the not working, that is the. What is it prevalent?

Colby 2:37

Yeah, what you see most often happen

Christopher 2:38

yeah, yeah, yeah

Colby 2:40

Is that it doesn't.

Christopher 2:41

And then there's like an implode. I mean I dated someone in our unit and well, in the unit it was before I was an assistant nurse manager I have to clarify that and it ended up not working out. And this person was a CNA too. And we referenced this person was a cna too. Um, and we referenced this person during our cna episode where I was like they were doing all the things for me but would slightly not do as much for other people, yeah and so you know I benefited from it greatly.

Christopher 3:23

But

Colby 3:24

until you didn't.

Christopher 3:25

Well, the thing is that person left before it imploded.

Colby 3:29

Oh yeah, yeah, I kind of forgot that timeline. Well, that worked out.

Christopher 3:32

Yeah, it did, which I was grateful because the way that it ended. It would have been horrible if they Were still working on the unit Were still working on the unit but I mean I've also seen a charge nurse date a pct or cna.

Colby 3:53

You guys kind of you internally date on your unit. I think a lot of you do that

Christopher 3:58

whoa, I think that is a gross assumption.

Colby 4:05

I think it was only those two cases, well, I guess. Yeah, I was gonna say I can't think of too many on mine, but now, now we're talking about it, yeah, I've seen two rns be co-workers for years, then start dating, then get married and then left the unit together. But okay, okay, what I'm trying to say is like when you are dating a co-worker and you work on the same unit and you're also friends with people in the same unit, like it's sometimes the the issue in your with dating someone in the same unit as you might not like that might not be the issue. It might be the friends that you're working with that have like an issue with it, like you know. Do you know what I'm saying?

Christopher 4:44

Yeah, yeah, yeah, and it is definitely

Colby 4:47

there's like a weird dynamic,

Christopher 4:48

yeah, yeah. Because, well, it depends on how vocal you are about your relationship, too, right?

Colby 4:54

I would say my advice is to keep. If you're dating someone, keep that close to your heart, keep it close to your heart, don't speak on it, don't act like you know each other. No, not really, but I mean I would just keep it so, so professional at work, because the second someone decides that they they know about the relationship that's going on between you and this other person and if they don't like it, you're the topic of conversation, there are rumors, there is shit talking.

Christopher 5:29

Right, you become a very big target.

Colby 5:32

The target is on your back and it is big.

Christopher 5:35

Good or bad. I mean, people could be really excited that you two are dating. It could be that, like in my case, where they notice the PCT is doing a lot and then they are on your case because why are you getting preferential treatment? Oh it's because you're dating. Oh, that's a problem.

Colby 5:55

Yep.

Christopher 5:56

And I mean it is a problem, and I am not one to my manager is actually very, very good at allowing it to happen.

Christopher 6:05

There's nothing in terms of

Colby 6:07

there's not like a no-fretinization rule.

Christopher 6:09

There is no rule but.

Colby 6:13

But there's like a professionalism that you need to maintain.

Colby 6:16

of course

Christopher 6:16

You've got to maintain it, and if you can't do that, then you might as well forget about dating someone within the same unit, possibly within the hospital, the hospital, yeah, unit possibly within the hospital.

Colby 6:28

Okay, here's a question, and I don't know is this hospital policy at our healthcare system that, if you like, you also can't be in an overarching position of like so-?

Christopher 6:41

I don't think that's a true thing

Colby 6:42

On the same shift, though, like I know like can you be in charge and your romantic relationship partner be underneath you on the floor?

Christopher 6:51

Well, I mean, I don't know if that's a legit policy on the.

Colby 6:57

So that's another thing you should take into consideration. When you do start having romantic feelings about a co-worker, especially someone that you work with in the same unit, not just in the hospital. Maybe you need to be aware of what the healthcare system that you worked for policy is on that, because there are some places that don't allow fraternization within the workplace and there might be some rules, policies, regulations about that. You might just have to be like up front with your manager. You might just have to be like hey, we've got to have a meeting.

Colby 7:29

We just need to tell you like we've, we are now dating and like that's super personal like to have to like do that, but if you're going, to date someone in your working space and like that's what you have to do.

Christopher 8:01

As long as you are able to have the feelings and keep everything kind of casual at work, by all means go ahead. But what if you like? Okay, you start dating within the unit. Things are going great. So you started a CNA or you started dating a CNA. That CNA has gone through school. Y'all are doing pretty well. You then have the CNA going through nursing classes, passes the NCLEX and then starts working as a nurse. Is that different? Like what do you? Do? You think there's any type of like weird changes there?

Colby 8:54

I, I can't think of anything specific. I feel like it really just depends on the people.

Christopher 8:57

I think so too. I.

Christopher 8:59

I don't. I mean I that that was the. That was the other couple that was on the unit that I know of. Oh, no, there was one more.

Colby 9:08

I was going to say I don't know who you're talking about, but I was thinking of somebody different.

Christopher 9:12

Oh, interesting.

Colby 9:13

Yeah, see, you guys are incestual.

Christopher 9:15

No, I don't. Hey, we're a tribe.

Colby 9:16

That was a joke we are a tribe. No, not the tribe.

Christopher 9:24

Does it dating? Dating someone is a little bit different than being married to someone, so you can be a nurse and be married to a nurse. And y'all came from two different you know places. Right Right there there is a international nurse who is who has come down and they're a nurse and they're working here. But they also have a spouse. That's also a nurse and I was just talking with them briefly. They were saying that their hope is to bring their spouse down.

Colby 10:01

Yeah.

Christopher 10:02

And that if there was a position open, they would want to have them work together, work together, yeah. So like there's various or you could have gone in together in the same unit, you know Mm-hmm, but I think Okay.

Colby 10:18

So what popped into my head when you said that is isn't it funny how there's kind of a double standard where it's like for me, my viewpoint or personal opinion on this is like working with a couple that's married versus working with a couple that started dating when they started working on the unit are like two different situations. Married couples and I don't know my brain, just like I mean I've worked with both where, like it doesn't bother me regardless, but I feel like it's just way more acceptable. I don't even know why I'm using that word. That's probably not the word I'm looking for, but like it's on, it's less bothersome to most people. I'm not. I'm not even I'm making a generalization across staff, but, like from what I've observed, co-workers are more bothered by dating dating than they are by a co-worker that's married by co-workers that are married which is weird have.

Colby 11:17

You've observed that as well.

Christopher 11:18

Yeah, it's weird, I don't know, I don't know what it is, I just. But you're right, they very much are OK with

Colby 11:27

people that are married.

Christopher 11:28

Yeah, and.

Christopher 11:29

But the thing is like, even when people are dating and then they become married, it's like oh OK, there you go.

Colby 11:34

Yeah, and then like a switch flips and they're like OK.

Christopher 11:37

Right, it's like what?

Colby 11:39

Why is that?

Christopher 11:40

I don't know.

Colby 11:41

That's so weird, but it's so true. That is a pattern I've observed again and again.

Christopher 11:45

It's so weird, it makes no sense.

Christopher 11:47

I mean I

Same Unit vs. Different Unit

Colby 11:49

and it makes sense right, like how how health care workers end up dating each other, because we talked about this in the Friends episode, where it's like it's sometimes so hard to make new connections with people outside of health care because they just don't get what we've been through or what we're going through at work. So then, like you are with someone at work and they're going through the same hardships that you're going through the same traumas and we spend all of our time with these people, and then things become romantic and then they're dating and you're like, yeah, that makes sense. How they ended up that way, sure?

Christopher 12:19

yeah, and I mean because that's what you, a good relationship has. They're like pillars, they do things together, they like the same things. And then there are those offshoots that give you the respite from your spouse Like you need to get away and you get to be able to do that, sometimes even on shift, right, like sometimes you're just way too busy to deal with your spouse's issues. Yeah, and you have those handful of patients and you're trying to keep those patients alive while they're doing the same thing, and that kind of like also builds that bond because, like, was this really something that I should have been arguing about you? Really it puts perspective into what your, your relationship is I feel like.

Colby 13:13

Yeah, I think there's definitely something to that. I think also, while we're talking, do okay. Here's another question do you think same unit versus different unit, marriages and dating which one do you think is easier?

Christopher 13:29

well, I honestly think that it's easier to date on different units, but easier to be married on the same oh interesting and so the reason why on different units, when you're dating, you're trying to fill out that person, trying to understand, and that allows you to. There's a reason why most people choose a unit. They have some type of like feeling toward cardiac, toward transplant, towards ortho. You know they have that kind of desire and then it allows you to kind of plan your days a little bit better because you don't have to worry about oh, there's now two of us having to take off the same day. It's just one off on different units For marriage. Those days that you don't work together are the days you're like, oh yay, I get the day to myself, but this is coming from someone who?

Colby 14:30

No, that's such a good point. I wasn't thinking that.

Christopher 14:33

This is coming from someone who likes their time, right. Yeah, you know, staffing wise, there's two of you and you're married. Then you both have to take off a vacation. You know like that makes it difficult, but in the everyday day-to-day things I think it's just better to be married on the same unit.

Colby 14:56

No, I think I totally see what you're saying. I wouldn't have even thought about that with the scheduling thing. I was just thinking for both situations, whether it's dating or marriage, that a different unit would make it easier for a multitude of reasons. You don't have like the pressure of your coworkers watching every step you make in that relationship, whether you're having like a good day or a bad day they're talking about it, whatever what have you?

Colby 15:22

But like also, like when you live together, you work together, you have the same co-workers, the same, everything. Like when your life is too much of the same. I could see that like causing undue stress on your relationship as well, whereas like if you work if you work in the same hospital but in different units or departments or whatever like you're still sharing enough but, also having enough differences that it's not like you're just one person, like completely consumed.

Christopher 15:54

Okay, I mean, I see that too. I mean it is interesting, I don't know. I would like to hear. I might even try to throw a poll out on social media.

Colby 16:07

Yeah, let's get your opinions, guys. What is your stance on? What do you think would be easier? What would you interpret that as? And this is impossible for some people, because some people really just you know, they just work and they go home, so maybe that's your dating pool, but my personal stance is that you should not,

Christopher 16:32

that was a personal attack on me.

Colby 16:35

No,

Christopher 16:35

that was a personal.

Christopher 16:43

You didn't look at me but every word went straight toward me

Colby 16:45

If the shoe fits.

Christopher 16:45

No,

Colby 16:45

I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

Colby 16:50

No, but I personally think that you should not date in the same environment system that you work in.

Christopher 16:58

Yeah, that's interesting.

Colby 16:59

Okay, but I'm learning that things happen sometimes. I will say in my going on 11 years now working in healthcare, up until recently I've never dated anybody that's worked in the hospital in any form or fashion. Not another nurse, not a doctor, not a maintenance man, nothing up until recently

Christopher 17:29

why is that though?

Colby 17:30

I just I don't know.

Colby 17:34

Well, I think, as far as like nursing,

Christopher 17:35

you have to know something

Colby 17:36

as far as like nursing or like anybody as far as like people like directly that I'm working with all the time, I don't really find the classic male nurse attractive, like the majority of male nurses all have like the same kind of like. They carry themselves a certain way. Do you know what I'm saying? Not saying all of them.

Colby 17:57

I'm saying the majority,

Christopher 17:58

I am not one of them, but

Colby 17:59

you're not, you're not Right.

Colby 18:02

But most and everybody who knows anything about health care is probably nodding their head or like laughing and being like, yeah, no, we get it. I'm just, I'm not attracted to that person, like I'm just like, get away from me, friends with them. Sure, they're hilarious, but they are not dateable to me. They're usually very toxic womanizer kind of type.

Colby 18:29

Think that you know they pick this career because it's all it's mostly women and they have like a little bit of a god complex they really think that they're like doing god's work and you're like I'm doing the same job as you, but for some reason they think that they're like doing it better or like I don't know. But I can't stand it. No, I can't stand it Again, like I'm friends with these guys, I think they're funny, but I just don't think that I could ever be in a relationship, romantic relationship, with a guy that works in health care.

Christopher 19:05

I love how you just narrowed it down to nurses, though, like there are no doctors there.

Colby 19:07

Well, I feel like my my relationship with the doctors that I work with. I'm usually bossing them around, so they're not interested in me. Let's be honest, they're like not the bossy one, we'll go to the next one

Christopher 19:23

but, but hospitals are so big.

Christopher 19:25

So, like I, I'm just so amazed that and good for you that for 11 years you have avoided. Avoided that because that is a big pool of people.

Colby 19:38

It is especially when we live when we live and work in a town where, like that is the majority, like a huge majority of the reason why people live and work where we live and work is because of our health system. So it does narrow my dating pool. Very small, very small, little pond for the people who don't live and work here for our health system.

Christopher 19:57

At least within like a 30 minute radius of the hospital, hospital yeah once you go out, I think you're okay

Colby 20:05

well, that's why I've only dated

Christopher 20:06

also true

Colby 20:07

medium distance relationships.

Colby 20:09

Yeah, like two hours away

Christopher 20:11

that's medium

Colby 20:13

mediums like two yeah hour and a half medium. Do you think that's long?

Christopher 20:19

yeah, I think really and truly anything after an hour and 45.

Colby 20:25

I'm like well, I called it medium distance. People date across the country and

Christopher 20:31

people do

Colby 20:32

that's long distance

Christopher 20:33

that's, that's desert

Colby 20:35

that's long haul, that's long haul trucking that's. I gotta be able to drive to your house and back in the same day.

Christopher 20:42

We have a friend in our friend group who, literally, they are across the country

Colby 20:47

yeah, that's legit.

Christopher 20:48

I don't know how they do it.

Colby 20:50

Me either. Two hours is my max, but it's also my sweet spot. And neither of those people worked in health care.

Christopher 21:04

Stop.

Colby 21:07

The current person I'm seeing doesn't work in health care, but they do work at the health hospital.

Christopher 21:15

In the health system,

Colby 21:16

in the health system.

Christopher 21:19

Yep.

Colby 21:30

Got to be careful, though though that's another thing I will say. People who work at a health system, and they're dating in the health system. You have to realize that you might not be the first or only person that they've dated in the health system as well, and you have to like be open to accepting that

Christopher 21:47

yeah

Colby 21:48

because that's just like. That just is what it is like. There there are people, like I said, that prefer to just date co-workers instead of using a dating app and all of a sudden,

Christopher 22:00

once again.

Christopher 22:01

I I feel like that was a target.

Colby 22:01

That was not a target.

Christopher 22:04

Just kill me now.

Colby 22:08

It was not a target, but that is I mean and that makes sense. That's like real world dating, it's. You know, dating apps are, are virtual, whatever that they are. So there's nothing wrong with real, real taking it old school. But I will say, like you are running the risk of dating someone, that somebody else that you work with also dated

Christopher 22:32

yeah, it's true

Colby 22:33

yeah, as evidenced by

Christopher 22:36

I mean both of us,

Colby 22:44

yep.

Christopher 22:45

But you know you had said that your aunt is dating someone within the health system.

Colby 23:02

Yeah, they were in the same office, but when they started dating which is also a very hard relationship to like manage, especially when like so like they they were in a medical office, not even in the hospital oh, they started, so it's a smaller smaller pool, smaller amount of co-workers to pass judgment. Yeah, very complicated, huh. But I mean they've been together for more than seven years

Christopher 23:23

oh wow, yeah, so they've been.

Christopher 23:25

Do you know anything about that story?

Colby 23:27

um, a little bit. They um so it was my aunt's she's gonna be listening to this me like, just talk about my relationship my aunt's boss, who? He's a doctor and she was a nurse and they were just friends for a long time and then he convinced her to go watch a football game together. Yeah, and that was like their first date.

Colby 23:52

They just got along really well.

Christopher 23:56

Have I told you my list of what I think dates are?

Colby 23:59

No,

Christopher 23:59

okay. Movies are not a date. Don't take me out on one. I don't want to go there. You can't talk to anyone. Yeah, you can't.

Colby 24:08

Not a first date, no yeah.

Christopher 24:10

The first date. I'm talking about first dates. Okay, restaurants, don't dare.

Colby 24:14

Really.

Christopher 24:16

Yeah, you're supposed to be getting to know someone, so you're shoving food in your mouth as you're trying to answer questions.

Colby 24:21

You're having a conversation.

Christopher 24:23

No,

Colby 24:23

okay, I'm not going to change your mind on that one. You're very steadfast, okay.

Christopher 24:29

A date which we've talked before driving in a car.

Colby 24:34

Oh yeah.

Christopher 24:35

It'll never happen because of the world that we live in and crazy people out there Not a first date,

Colby 24:42

but I could see that being like a third date, like you've gone out twice with this person.

Christopher 24:45

You're like you trust them.

Colby 24:47

Yeah, you want to get to know them a little bit better. And then you're like you know what, let's just go for a drive.

Colby 24:51

That's a good, like third date yeah

First Date Ideas for Nurses

Christopher 24:53

and it's good you're able to talk about things. You get to see how they react with your driving.

Christopher 25:06

Are they a passenger princess or are you the passenger princess, Like you got to figure that out.

Christopher 25:08

Are y'all both?

Christopher 25:08

drivers. Is that going to make and break the relationship?

Colby 25:11

Is someone a backseat?

Colby 25:12

or a passenger seat driver.

Christopher 25:16

Don't dare, I'll tell you to sit down.

Colby 25:19

Sit down and shut up.

Christopher 25:21

Another good date.

Colby 25:22

You're like date's like dates over get out,

Christopher 25:25

find a way home.

Christopher 25:26

I'll even uber you home

Colby 25:28

drop you off, never speak to you again

Christopher 25:31

another date idea is what you were talking about go into a sporting event

Colby 25:37

yeah, you can see.

Colby 25:38

Oh, my god, actually I love that, especially for a first date, because one you're gonna find out if this person is a psychopath

Christopher 25:43

Right

Colby 25:44

Like are they getting belligerently drunk? Are they picking fights with other people in the crowd or at the bar? Or you know wherever you're watching the game, or are they just like super passionate? They know so much about the sport? You guys can have a good conversation about it. You can judge the other person about how much they know right or you can like.

Colby 26:01

It's kind of cute when some people find it cute when, like the other person who knows a lot about the sport is kind of like telling you, like what that, like what that play is or like this is what they were thinking during that, during that, like that coach call, whatever.

Colby 26:14

I kind of like when even when I know more about it than the person I'm on a date with I like when they explain it to me because I'm like either I'm like that's cute, you're wrong, or I'm like that's so cute you think I don't know. Watch what I'm about to say back, or I'm actually learning something. So

Christopher 26:33

give them the history of the game.

Christopher 26:37

Yeah, and then their jaws on the floor.

Colby 26:39

Yeah, I love when a guy like asked me a question about like I don't know, like a play like in baseball. Like you're 64", 3'0", equaling 2. Oh yeah, I'm like yeah, that's a double play Right.

Christopher 26:50

Like duh. Who is this idiot putting 6-4- 3 as 2 Outs?

Colby 26:57

Yes, I love that.

Christopher 26:59

I love that shirt.

Colby 27:06

Me too. And it's funny because then the guys are never expecting you to a female. I will say this is a generalization but, I will say in my personal experience is a guy is never expecting a female to know something like that. Yeah, I will even argue to say that I've been. This is a real life experience. A man asked me if I knew all nine positions in baseball

Christopher 27:27

oh my god, I cannot believe that.

Christopher 27:30

Oh my god,

Colby 27:30

I was like I feel like a kindergartner

Christopher 27:32

I am so sorry

Colby 27:32

to do that, but apparently people don't know and that's embarrassing for them that don't know because this is like america's past time. Everyone should know the ninth position.

Christopher 27:45

I mean, who's on first?

Colby 27:46

yeah,

Christopher 27:47

what's on second. I don't know who's on third,

Colby 27:50

there's a catcher, a pitcher

Christopher 27:53

today and tomorrow

Colby 27:54

? Left, right center, shortstop, like I don't. It's very basic. What do you mean? But apparently people don't know. So I'm like very impressive, I'm a very impressive person to take to a baseball game.

Christopher 28:09

Oh gosh. But I mean, I'm trying to think of a sport that you would.

Colby 28:15

I don't know anything about basketball, I'll be honest

Christopher 28:17

or lacrosse.

Colby 28:18

Yeah, very little.

Christopher 28:21

So there are sports that you, yeah, not feel that way yeah, no.

Colby 28:24

If someone starts to explain basketball to me, I'm like, okay, thanks, I didn't know that I'm gonna tuck that away.

Christopher 28:28

Then I'm like I don't care I don't tuck it away, I let it quickly empty my brain

Colby 28:34

you're like don't like this sport, don't care about what you're telling me, this is a terrible day.

Christopher 28:39

We should not have gone there

Colby 28:41

and I don't like you first and last

Christopher 28:46

but yeah, those are like my four, like I don't want to be bombarded, if you want, I'm even really not a fan of going to a bar to drink and for a date.

Colby 28:57

I'm like yeah, I think knowing your stance on like alcohol, not that you don't drink right but just that it's not something that you have like centered in your life, like for social, like socializing. Yeah, yeah, I could see, like I think of what's more popular these days. People are doing a lot of coffee dates.

Christopher 29:22

Yeah, I could do that.

Colby 29:23

Yeah, get a coffee,

Christopher 29:24

I'm not a coffee fan either, but

Colby 29:26

you could get a chai.

Christopher 29:27

Yeah, I could get a chai tea. I just said that I was going to say that.

Colby 29:32

But yeah, like I think people these days are doing more of like midday coffee dates

Christopher 29:38

Right or anytime it's not like mid, you know, it's not a night thing.

Colby 29:42

You know what I love Going for a walk together.

Christopher 29:45

Oh yeah, I went on a date, yeah, I was like hiking could be a little strenuous.

Colby 29:49

It needs to be an easy trail for your first date?

Christopher 29:51

No, it doesn't, Because then I'm like I won't go on very many dates.

Colby 29:59

I was judging how much endurance you have.

Christopher 30:01

I am Because, ultimately, I want both of us to be healthy. And I want us to challenge each other to stay healthy.

Colby 30:08

Yeah.

Christopher 30:09

So I'm not going to go easy on a hike.

Colby 30:12

Yeah.

Christopher 30:13

Because that means either one. You don't want to be challenged.

Colby 30:16

Okay, yes, I just had another thought. I'm going to let you finish yours. No, no, no, no. Go ahead for marriage, or are you dating just to like meet somebody and have a good time, and that's something you really need to think about before you start dating a co-worker and you need to establish that that needs to be an early on conversation.

Colby 30:50

So everyone needs to be on the same page, because if you're dating, if you're dating for marriage and that person's dating to just date people, both are fine situations, but that's going to end in a tragedy, yeah, for everybody involved. Yeah, not just the people dating, but the co-workers, your management the patients, the patients yeah, yeah so that's what I was just thinking like for you with. Like the dates that you're talking about sound like great dates, but it sounds like dating with more intention.

Christopher 31:23

True, but I mean which?

Colby 31:25

is nothing wrong.

Christopher 31:26

Everyone should be healthy. No, no, no, no, that's true.

Colby 31:29

No, no, no, I totally agree with you. I'm just thinking of, like, right now, the way I'm dating. I'm not dating for serious, I'm dating just to like meet people, experiences, but nothing long term. So, like I have been going out on dates and I see things that I'm like red flag, red flag. But then also I'm like, but I don't care, because this is not gonna, this is not a long-term person, so I'm just gonna let them ride, let them be them and I'll be me and we'll keep it moving. But if I was, if I saw those things and I was like trying to date with an intention, I would be like, okay, it's one date for me and I'm moving on to the next because this isn't gonna be this, this can, this cannot go any further. These are big red flags. Right.

Colby 32:22

But I, yeah, I don't know.

Christopher 32:25

I don't, yeah, I mean so okay, Obviously you're okay with me saying movies are a terrible first date. You're not okay with me saying going to eat.

Colby 32:39

I see, I see your point point, but I don't think it's a terrible first date. I do see your point I. I think there are so many periods when you're at a restaurant where there's room for conversation. I think they just end up being like you're if you're going out on a dinner date, it's going to be a longer. It's probably going to be a longer date than just going out to dinner with a friend because you're taking more breaks in between bites.

Colby 33:03

You're

Christopher 33:04

are you?

Colby 33:05

I don't know, actually I don't know. As I was saying that, I was like it's probably not true because me and christopher gab, we're yappers. We probably have the longest dinners. It's true because we just be yapping next thing.

Christopher 33:18

You know we're like, oh, but there's also closing

Colby 33:22

oh shoot, we gotta leave.

Colby 33:23

But also we're. We're such close friends, though, that we we shoving food in our mouths and talking at the same time, so I don't know, that's probably not very becoming on a date

Christopher 33:32

you literally have seen

Colby 33:33

me oh yeah, body, some food, like mouth full chewing, and be like I'm just talking, you're like an active listener and I'm just yapping because I'm enjoying my food and listening, which is great okay, so it's a toss-up. I think dinner dates as a first date could be good.

Christopher 34:04

Might not be your best option okay, um, and what was your thoughts on? Um? Oh oh wait, before on a date. In in the, the restaurant area, do you like it when your or your food is ordered for you?

Colby 34:26

oh, that's a good question. It depends, it's the vibe of the person oh it's what depends on what they order, because if they try to order something, I'm like no, actually, I'm sorry, I can't eat. I'm not a picky eater either, so, but I have to speak up but I actually find it.

Colby 34:44

It's like a I don't know. I go back and forth on this. It depends on the person, because there's certain people that if they tried to order for me I'd be like gtfo like, but then somebody else does it and I'm like that, that was, that was hot, that was OK, take charge, romantic, I can't wait, ok. But then there's sometimes where I was like excuse me, don't you excuse. What do you feel? I mean I would you like to order for someone? If I'm, if you're taking me to a restaurant that you've been to before and you're like this is so good, you have to try this, that you've been to before and you're like this is so good, you have to try this.

Christopher 35:22

Then the waiter comes and they're like we're gonna get this, this, and this like order, like three, yeah things, yeah and then like, yeah, I think that's totally fine I feel like I am one to do that, because I do like to eat a lot of different areas, but I tend I'm also I'm just so analytical, so I'm like judging you for what you order.

Colby 35:41

I'm just so analytical. So I'm like judging you for what you order, and he's vegan on top of it.

Christopher 35:47

No, that doesn't mean that I'm judging them. If they get meat, I'm just out of OK. If you're going to a seafood place and you get a burger, I've automatically judged you.

Colby 35:58

That's fair. Yeah, why did we go to a seafood place? I could have said I don't. I don't like seafood chilies, like you know.

Christopher 36:06

Like I was okay with that yeah but you know like no, no, stuff like that oh,

Colby 36:12

I get it, that makes sense I would probably pass some judgment as well,

Colby 36:17

like excuse

Christopher 36:17

I mean that's an extreme, but like I'm just I'm looking to see what they order and because then I'm like, oh, do they prefer if we go to an italian restaurant and they prefer spaghetti over lasagna? Like is there a preference there or is you know?

Colby 36:31

like it's a good learning yeah a good learning date, but

Christopher 36:41

also it's very interesting.

Christopher 36:43

It's probably because I I don't date a lot I think about these things

Colby 36:48

I'm like I've never had this deep of a conversation about whether or not going to a restaurant on the first date, but now I'm rethinking everything I've ever done,

Christopher 36:56

you know that's my intention is to make people rethink about what they're doing.

Colby 37:00

I'm rethinking everything. I'm never going to a restaurant on a first date. What has been the best first date you've ever been on? And was it with a coworker?

Christopher 37:12

Do you have an answer to this question?

Colby 37:14

No, but I can give you an example of something that happened to me and at the end of the day I was like was that a date?

Colby 37:19

Oh, okay, that happened to me and at the end of the day, I was like, was that a date? Oh okay. Well, I went and this is a very cute idea for anybody that needs a date idea in the spring summer. I a travel nurse that I worked with, we were friends and I was recently single and I think I just misinterpreted it and I wish I had recognized earlier on that it could have been a date, because he's a very nice person. This was like two years ago. We went to this farm where they have wildflowers that you can go and cut and make your own bouquets. That's cool, yeah, and it's on this farm. So then there was, of course, a little store.

Colby 37:54

You walk through. We got ice cream after we picked our flowers.

Christopher 38:01

This is a great idea.

Colby 38:02

Yes, like that was. And we just like talked and like we were being goofy with the flowers, like talking about, like, oh, this one looks like this, whatever. It was so cute. And then we made these little bouquets in the mason jars.

Christopher 38:09

That's cute.

Colby 38:10

That's such a good first date.

Christopher 38:11

That is a good yeah.

Colby 38:12

And we had great. We was like a good amount of time, it was like three hours, which I think should be like your max on the first date if you're taking it serious if you're dating with intention and not just for the good times.

Colby 38:28

But, um, I but yeah, that was with a co-worker, I guess. Oh so, I guess that's really my first, but it was. I didn't know it was a date, maybe it wasn't. It could have just been two friends hanging out, but it also could have been easily. I mean, the ladies at the flower stand thought we were on a date. They even said it and we were like laughing, we're like ha, ha, no we're just friends,

Christopher 38:49

Wait, wait wait, wait, wait.

Christopher 38:50

We were laughing, or you laughed and he laughed after

Colby 38:54

Might have been that way, I don't know.

Christopher 38:56

I mean because I pay attention to those things.

Colby 39:01

At the end of the day he came and picked me up in his vehicle.

Christopher 39:06

Never mind.

Christopher 39:09

It was a date

Colby 39:12

I had no idea. I thought I was just having a good. I wore a cute outfit too.

Christopher 39:15

It was a date. If y'all are looking at me,

Colby 39:19

he's nodding his head.

Colby 39:20

It was a date. It was a good date. It was a good date. I didn't know. I was on um, I had a great time. 10 out of 10 would do again, but he left, so never see him again dang,

Christopher 39:31

you could have converted him

Colby 39:33

probably could have to staff that's what he's talking about From traveler to staff.

Christopher 39:42

Yeah.

Colby 39:42

He's a very sweet guy. Yeah, you know, at the time I wasn't in a good spot.

Christopher 39:51

Interesting. That's funny. I mean that definitely was a date, though One hundred percent.

Colby 39:58

It was a great first date. Looking back on it, I'm like, oh, that was a date, okay, yeah, well, that was a great first date. Looking back on it, I'm like, oh, that was a date, okay, yeah. Well, that was a great first date and I think that one fits into your.

Christopher 40:07

Yeah, 100%.

Colby 40:08

Yeah, your requirements.

Christopher 40:11

It's absolutely impossible to eat ice cream fast because you get a brain freeze.

Colby 40:15

Yeah.

Christopher 40:16

So it allows for adequate time to slowly, gives you time to think about your answers. Yeah, no. I'm okay with an ice cream date.

Colby 40:28

Oh, I love ice cream dates.

Christopher 40:29

I mean, you know me.

Colby 40:32

Okay, what do you think about?

Christopher 40:33

Oh wait, I never told you the first date.

Colby 40:35

Oh, yeah, tell me, you got it.

Christopher 40:36

I mean no, but I remember a date that I really did appreciate. We went to a local amusement park oh yeah okay, and it was really nice. We went to the amusement park and then there was a like

Colby 40:52

I'm surprised, I guess

Christopher 40:54

why? Because we're standing in line.

Christopher 40:57

You have to talk to them

Colby 40:58

you're right, you're right, I'm like you're right. There's a lot of like waiting downtime at an amusement park. Okay, I was thinking like you're running rides screaming at in a roller coaster right what's your favorite color?

Christopher 41:13

do they get annoyed easily? Yeah are they able to handle like roller coasters? Yeah are or are they like you?

Christopher 41:20

rather take the bag

Colby 41:21

I'll hold everyone's bags and be the mom

Christopher 41:23

right, exactly, I'm like I don't want I want you to enjoy that.

Colby 41:26

Yeah, you don't want to date someone who wants to hold the backpack.

Colby 41:29

Fair enough

Christopher 41:33

do they get annoyed with the annoying children that are?

Colby 41:37

running around screaming crying,

Christopher 41:40

you learn.

Christopher 41:41

This is what I'm just very

Colby 41:43

Okay.

Christopher 41:43

This is me, though. This is me in a nutshell, like I'm just very analytical in what I do.

Colby 41:49

That's true, okay, so someone that I am seeing right now had. We had a conversation. They do like extracurricular sports for fun as an adult, and they really wanted me to spend the entire day watching them play

Christopher 42:06

nope,

Colby 42:07

that's what I said

Christopher 42:08

negative

Colby 42:08

I was like um

Christopher 42:09

you're having me sit and watch you.

Colby 42:11

Yeah,

Christopher 42:12

no

Colby 42:12

all day

Christopher 42:13

no

Colby 42:13

I said that.

Colby 42:14

I said I really don't want

Christopher 42:16

audacity

Colby 42:17

don't want to do that,

Christopher 42:18

I will gladly join you

Colby 42:19

and play,

Christopher 42:20

and play

Colby 42:20

okay, so, okay, not. So that's not a good. That was just like not a first date thing, obviously

Christopher 42:25

no yeah

Colby 42:26

that's a terrible first date,

Christopher 42:28

yeah,

Colby 42:28

but even like, even if you've been dating for a little bit of time, it's casual

Christopher 42:34

no

Colby 42:34

yes, okay, I'm glad, I'm not imagining that,

Christopher 42:37

no, no, no, I'll watch one game.

Colby 42:39

Yeah,

Christopher 42:40

I'll watch one game

Colby 42:42

yeah,

Christopher 42:42

but don't expect me to stay the whole day

Colby 42:45

thank you thank you

Christopher 42:47

no

Colby 42:48

because I was like that's a long day

Christopher 42:50

. Yeah, it's almost like you're parading me as

Colby 42:54

yeah, what am I like?

Christopher 42:55

Yeah, I'm yours, yeah yeah, and that that rubs me all kinds of wrong ways okay,

Colby 43:04

but for a first date would you, for instance, go play pickleball with someone?

Colby 43:10

I don't know if that's

Christopher 43:11

I would you would, because I want to see how challenged.

Christopher 43:15

I want to see how athletic you are

Colby 43:18

can you, can we make D1 babies?

Christopher 43:21

Yes, that's essentially what I'm trying to find out. But also are you a sore loser or are you a sore winner? I'm a sore winner, I mean sore loser. Yeah, I am. Really.

Colby 43:35

You're both,

Christopher 43:36

because I barely lose.

Colby 43:39

Yeah, so that's a I don't know that I would want to do.

Colby 43:46

do that that would give a little bit too much away about yourself for your first date?

Colby 43:48

oh no, but you want them to handle that, because that's you

Christopher 43:50

yeah I'm not changing

Colby 43:54

get on the bandwagon, baby, be able to handle me. If you want me at my best, you have to handle me at my worst.

Colby 44:07

Yeah, okay, fair okay

Christopher 44:09

well, I mean, what about you?

Colby 44:12

Uh well depends on the sport.

Christopher 44:15

Yeah

Christopher 44:16

, just say, maybe not pickle ball,

Colby 44:17

but well, I'll tell you, I took someone skiing, got the ick. You can't be worse at it than me. You can be better than me, but you can't be worse at it than me, and I'm a good skier.

Colby 44:32

so, basically, this person didn't know what they were doing,

Christopher 44:33

I was going to say I guess I would never be your friend. I'm glad I haven't gone skiing with you.

Colby 44:38

No, friends are different, friends are different, friends are different. I'm talking about a you're dating someone. Okay, friends, whatever, I'll teach you the person you're dating.

Colby 44:49

No, no, I don't think so immediate

Christopher 44:56

oh, my god, and I'm assuming they came off of. They came off like they knew what they were doing.

Colby 45:03

Yeah, of course.

Christopher 45:04

Well, that's the problem, they were a liar.

Colby 45:09

They were definitely embellishing.

Christopher 45:11

Well, I mean, it is interesting to just kind of think about the differences between dating and being married to those within your unit and then those within your health system, and I think both you have to be mindful of. Are they going to be blabbers and then tell your business to any and everyone they see, or are they going to be professional? And then I think, and that's, are they children or are they adults?

Colby 45:43

Mm-hmm, yeah.

Colby 45:43

Are they mature? Yeah, are they childs,

Christopher 45:44

because.

Christopher 45:46

I think it can be done as long as both of you are mature about the relationship. I think, ultimately, that's what you have to figure out in the process of dating someone if you're intending to marry them or if you're just dating, to just date the pool.

Colby 46:05

Yeah, you just have to have open communication, which isn't any relationship. So it's good advice for whether you're dating a coworker or not, but I feel like you need if you're going to be dating, you need to know before you start dating what your intentions are. And especially when you're dating a coworker, whether it's directly on the unit or somewhere else in the health system, you need to communicate what your intentions are with them early on. So I feel like it's a little aggressive sometimes first date to be like what are your intentions, but don't wait four weeks and then be like, oh yeah, I'm just having a good time, because that could really crush somebody.

Christopher 46:49

Yeah.

Colby 46:50

Do you think four weeks is enough time?

Christopher 46:53

To know what you're.

Colby 46:55

I feel like if you're going to be dating, before you start dating anybody, you need to know what your intentions are going into it.

Christopher 47:01

Yeah, so why not say it in the first date?

Colby 47:03

you can. I just feel like some people would get scared off by that

Christopher 47:07

why that's.

Christopher 47:08

I think that is a problem that people have in general.

Christopher 47:14

Like, I think that is a problem

Colby 47:15

okay I do I see what you're saying honestly, because if that person, if it's on the first date and you're like I'm dating, like with the intent for long term and that scares them off, then that's not the person for you, right, okay, yeah, I get it. I get what you're saying.

Christopher 47:28

But also I mean for the inverse if I'm just dating to have fun, then you should be okay to know that I'm dating just to have fun.

Colby 47:41

Yeah Well, that gives the other person the option to choose what they want to do, right. But then again that could still get tricky because someone might say, okay, I understand, I get that, I'm just going to have fun too. But then they. Get feelings, get deeper feelings.

Christopher 47:56

Yeah, hard feelings.

Colby 47:57

Yeah, and that's a risk that you run.

Christopher 48:02

As long as you are Like. If you set that standard in the beginning, then that's not on you.

Colby 48:08

Yeah, I really need to take my own advice, because I'm sitting here and I'm like oh shit, I don't think I've had this conversation yet.

Christopher 48:15

Well, it's hilarious, because what did you say? You said, and I don't know if I can quote it, but you said everybody should know their intentions before.

Colby 48:29

Before you even go out and date.

Christopher 48:32

So why not express that already?

Colby 48:35

Because people hate talking about it.

Christopher 48:38

That is a problem.

Colby 48:39

You're right, I should not be giving out any dating advice right now.

Christopher 48:45

I mean, I shouldn't either. I'm not dating anyone, I'm not married.

Christopher 48:58

I'm just as single as Pringle. But you know, here I am Doctor filling it up,

Colby 49:04

learning the hard way, and I can provide lots of education and knowledge that I've gained from learning the hard way with dating.

Christopher 49:20

Well, there we go.

Colby 49:22

And so can you. So stop giggling,

Christopher 49:24

you know I can.

Christopher 49:26

I'm just you know. That's right, you're right, all right. It's time for what will be one of our favorite segments listener pulse. This is where we hear directly from you, our amazing listeners. This week, we asked a question or brought up a topic that matters to nurses everywhere, and we wanted to hear you and your thoughts, stories and experiences. Whether it's a funny shift story, a tough moment or advice you wish you'd known sooner, this is your space to share. Let's dive in to what our nursing community has to say and, continuing along the theme, what's your views of co-workers dating so?

Christopher 50:07

let's see what we got we have quite a few different uh responses oh exciting and um. Do you want to? Do you want to just go back and forth and read?

Colby 50:17

them. Okay, all right, I'm gonna like share our thoughts on what they are sharing

Christopher 50:21

okay, cool, that's what we'll do then we're doing this on the fly.

Christopher 50:26

So our first listener is brie from raleigh, north Carolina, who is a step-down nurse for three years. They said honestly, as long as it doesn't affect the patient care or the vibe of the unit, I say go for it. I met my fiance on night shift. We kept it professional at work, but now we're planning a wedding. Just don't be messy.

Colby 50:49

Okay, see, I feel like she did it right. She said we kept it professional. Now we're planning a wedding, so people know that we've been dating, probably at this point, and it worked out well for them and I think that's great, and I've seen that. I've seen that happen where people meet and they did it the right way. They kept it professional.

Colby 51:08

For a long time no one knew that they were dating and then, you know, it had at the point, the point of which, when everyone started realizing that they had been dating, it was legitimately more than a year that's wild so then at that point everyone was just like it, like shifted into even though they're still not married, but like it shifted into that anyways, because they had already proven, basically they can handle it and not making people feel awkward or whatever

Christopher 51:33

that right, there is a good.

Christopher 51:34

I mean, that's, that's how you're supposed to date in uh yeah, if that's how you're supposed to date you're dating a co-worker.

Colby 51:41

No one should even realize that you're dating. Nope. Okay, let's see what zach zach from san diego, he's a new grad rn he wrote. I feel like it gets complicated fast. I watched two nurses start dating on my unit and when they broke up, one of them transferred to another floor. It was awkward for weeks, so personally I wouldn't risk it unless it was really serious. Well, we've experienced that as well.

Christopher 52:06

Well, luckily, mine transferred completely out of the you, out of the health system. Yeah, before we broke up, though,

Colby 52:13

but you also transferred to another

Christopher 52:15

oh yeah, that's actually true, yeah

Colby 52:19

for a similar situation ship?

Christopher 52:21

yeah, yeah, the wonderful word situation ship

Colby 52:26

I love that word just covers so many bases.

Colby 52:30

But yeah, no, that definitely was and can be awkward it can be, yeah, and that's a tough choice to make too, like, and so that's something else you have to take. You have to keep that in the back of your head and take that in with you. When you start dating a co-worker and like no one wants to think about the negative stuff, like when you're freshly dating someone, you're in that little like love bubble, like that love bombing bubble. Love bombing is bad, but you know what I'm trying to say. I'm trying to say that's awful, yeah no, but you know, when you're in that like ooey gooey, like I really like this person, I just started seeing them like, oh, this is so exciting. Right.

Colby 53:05

And you already probably do think about these things because you're analytical, but, like you have to also, in the back of your mind, be cognizant of what you're willing to risk, because if, for some reason, it went bad, are you willing to leave the unit? Is that something that you're going to have to do, or they may have to do?

Christopher 53:27

It's funny yeah, both of, because I've only had two that were in the actual health system, but both of them I had an exit plan.

Colby 53:37

Yeah, of course you did

Christopher 53:37

Before I started,

Colby 53:38

that's so funny, I don't.

Colby 53:44

I got a hope and a prayer.

Christopher 53:46

I knew.

Colby 53:47

That I'd never see them again.

Christopher 53:48

It's wild because I knew I already like I was like okay, I can easily go to transplant, because I I knew that I was already being kind of scouted, quote unquote. And then when they were, when I was on transplant, I was like this will be my time to move to another state yeah I already knew

Colby 54:12

wow, that's so funny.

Colby 54:16

Okay, but does that mean that maybe you're, maybe you were dating someone that you or like?

Christopher 54:22

no, I just

Colby 54:23

it was just you being you

Christopher 54:25

even my manager says when in a position, you should always have an exit plan yeah it's just good, it's not saying you're gonna use it, but you just have one, just in case

Colby 54:36

yeah, I mean you.

Colby 54:37

You definitely like to play devil, like you have to play devil's advocate, especially when you're dating someone on the same direct unit. You have to like be smart, be smart out there, when and now. If you're dating outside of the unit or that person does something else in the hospital, you have a little more like you can. Yeah, you can end things and not see that person pretty easily yeah with how our schedules are with.

Colby 55:03

You know just how busy you are at work. Like that's a lot easier to kind of go in with less of a backup exit plan, but if you're, you probably still have one

Christopher 55:16

ready, primed, done, um.

Christopher 55:21

Next we have michelle, who is in boston and an icu nurse co-worker. Dating is fine, but please no flirting. During report I had a charge nurse and a night nurse practically making heart eyes at each other while I was trying to give SBAR Save it for after hours. I hope y'all know what SBAR is.

Colby 55:44

Yeah oh, situation background assessment recommendation. That's handoff report baby, yes, yeah. I'm really happy I pulled that out, because I was like shoot, what is that? I know what it is.

Christopher 56:00

I asked y'all because I didn't know. No, I'm joking.

Christopher 56:02

I'm joking, I'm joking, I'm joking.

Colby 56:05

Oh my gosh. No, though, totally fair. I have worked with people who are totally googly-eyed for each other and I just wanted to slap them both upside the head and be like do your job.

Christopher 56:17

Well, I hate PDA in the first place.

Colby 56:19

Hate it, but especially not in the place of work.

Christopher 56:23

Right, I'm okay with the occasional hand-holding

Colby 56:28

At work.

Christopher 56:29

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Colby 56:30

Oh, you're talking, you're generalizing, but definitely not at work.

Christopher 56:35

No, definitely not at work. Like, this is not the place. This is work.

Colby 56:38

Yeah, no, I don't no, leave me alone. Right, don't even look at me. No, at work, don't look at me.

Christopher 56:48

I cannot. That's not completely true.

Colby 56:53

Just kidding. You can look at me.

Christopher 56:56

Tell me how good I look today.

Colby 57:02

But do it quietly around the corners and no one else can see.

Christopher 57:05

Slide a note in.

Colby 57:07

Slide me a note. That's actually cute In the fifth grade, check yes or no, no. But

Christopher 57:16

I cannot believe we just did that.

Colby 57:21

All right, moving on to the next one, jordan from Memphis. They're a travel nurse. Dating coworkers isn't new, oh sorry. We're around each other more than our own families, but y'all better have boundaries. I've seen breakups turn into schedule wars. Hr was not amused be grown about it or leave it alone, okay. But also I would love to say, like as a travel nurse if you're a little bit toxic, date away, just do it,

Christopher 57:48

oh my god,

Colby 57:49

just do it,

Christopher 57:51

oh my god

Colby 57:52

that's so fun

Christopher 57:54

no, colby

Colby 57:56

I'm a little bit toxic.

Christopher 57:57

That is awful.

Colby 58:00

I'm a little bit toxic.

Christopher 58:01

I've never don't expect to don't expect a job at my unit. If you dare come in like that

Colby 58:07

it's three months.

Colby 58:08

Honey. What are you gonna do? Cancel my contract. I'm moving on to the next one.

Christopher 58:11

We've done it before.

Colby 58:12

For dating.

Christopher 58:13

I don't know.

Colby 58:13

Yeah, exactly, Come on. If they're a really good nurse but they're just dating all of your staff, but they're doing their job effectively and their patients love them, you might not re-sign them. Guess you're right, you can't cancel someone for being a player. Not yet at least when I was traveling, I was in a serious long-term relationship. You were, but if I wasn't, I'd be dating, because it's no strings Three months and you're out. Might as well have fun with it.

Colby 58:52

So I do have a completely different view on it if you're a travel nurse yeah,

Christopher 58:54

see, I've never been a travel nurse

Colby 58:56

but if you are dating, but if you can be a travel nurse and date intentionally and maybe you're looking for a place to settle down, that's something different. But my personal opinion is like, like I said, don't date anybody that you work with, which I still stand. I don't think I would ever date anybody that I work directly with. I'm seeing somebody who works in the health system, but I don't work directly with them, so that's different for me. But if I was a travel nurse, date whoever. Date your turn team buddy. Try to date the manager. No, I'm kidding, try to date all the single doctors do you know I?

Colby 59:38

be crazy about it that's, that's bold.

Christopher 59:43

I am worried that at times, because I wouldn't say I'm, I'm, I'm about a six to seven on the like attractive scale and but I'm like you know, somebody could just come for me because I'm in the position I'm in oh and I'm like

Colby 1:00:03

never thought about that interesting

Christopher 1:00:08

yeah, I, I worry, there's your analytical mind again.

Colby 1:00:10

You're like are they just

Colby 1:00:11

talking to me because I'm the assistant nurse manager. Darn, not again. I ain't gotta worry about that. Luckily they're like this girl anyways.

Colby 1:00:24

I'm like stay away, I don't want to date you

Christopher 1:00:27

we have sam from seattle who's a psych nurse, and they said I say it's human nature people bond through shared trauma and nursing has plenty of that. I just think both people need to be emotionally intelligent, if not, it becomes a whole soap opera

Colby 1:00:45

oh it like echoes everything that we've said

Christopher 1:00:47

yeah

Colby 1:00:47

like the shared thing, like we're all going through the same stuff.

Colby 1:00:52

You're spending long hours with each other.

Christopher 1:00:54

I mean literally almost more than what you spend with family. It just depends. And yeah, there's something about trauma bonding Like it just does. It does.

Colby 1:01:07

Okay, louise, ed Tech from Miami, let's be real, a lot of y'all are already dating. It's like nobody knows. We know, everyone knows. Just don't lie about it. Own it and be professional. The unit knows. They always know. They don't always know, though I will tell you, not everybody always knows. But that's funny as hell, especially being an ed tech. You know the ED is sloppy, the ED is sloppy, okay, so what is it? They say, like don't date the four Fs. And it's like oh wait, firefighters. No, I mean the four Ps, but then they spell firefighter with P-H.

Colby 1:01:55

Maybe it's the police paramedic hold on I feel like I need to do the google, okay, because I don't know. Hold on, but no, that's so sloppy of the ed policemen, physicians, paramedics and firefighters spelled with a p physician. That is so freaking funny but that is serious. That is, that is like a something that you I mean.

Colby 1:02:14

I see it everywhere on social media

Christopher 1:02:16

I'm sure you say this this guy does it. Yeah, so why? Why is it toxic?

Colby 1:02:24

toxic police firefighteramedics Because they're coming into the ED all the time.

Christopher 1:02:31

Oh, oh, oh, oh, all of those, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, all of those are coming into the ED all the time.

Colby 1:02:36

You know people in uniform. Yeah, yeah, Back in honestly like people find people in scrubs really attractive. People find uniforms really. I mean, scrubs are a uniform, but it's spicy. It's late hours, shared trauma, bonding, but a little bit different from also lurking in the hospital or being a cop. It gets toxic down in the ED. They're so sloppy. That's why I thought that was so funny. We know you're dating, we all know, don't lie about it. Yeah, that's wild, really funny.

Colby 1:03:15

Okay, wait, I don't even know where we're going next, but a question just popped up into my head and I want

Christopher 1:03:18

hit me with it

Colby 1:03:20

okay, let's say you're dating someone at the hospital and then you find out that they're dating a lot of other people also at the hospital, or either concurrently or previously.

Christopher 1:03:38

Close previously. Close previously.

Colby 1:03:40

What do you do?

Christopher 1:03:44

Well, it depends on what your intentions are in this whole dating thing, and well, I actually I take that back. It doesn't matter. It depends on their response to your asking them what their intentions are. If their intentions are to just kind of have a fun summer, then cool. You know, you've learned that that's your goal. Or that's their goal yeah, if that's your goal, cool. If not, you probably should go keep it going. If their intentions are for a longer term thing, you've got to trust that they really want to be long term.

Christopher 1:04:29

If you want to be long term too,

Colby 1:04:31

yeah, you have to go in with some trust again. So it comes down to communication it does it's like let's get on the same page here

Christopher 1:04:37

were you thinking the same, or?

Colby 1:04:38

Yeah, I am. I think. I think you have to know your own intentions going into dating and you have to know, like what you're willing to deal with going into dating so if my intentions were something different than they are.

Colby 1:04:51

So my just to reiterate you be clear my dating intentions currently are I'm just dating there's. I'm not. I'm meeting new people having a good time. There's no long-term dating in my wants or needs at this time.

Christopher 1:05:06

Right.

Colby 1:05:21

If I found out that someone was seeing other people, right into it and we have a conversation, it's like, okay, I've also. Okay, how do you feel about relationships? That, how am I gonna put this? I'm learning. I'm let me just say this I'm learning a lot about how people in 2025 are dating.

Colby 1:05:43

Right now I feel like I in my personal dating history I've been like a serial monogamist. So like I go I usually when I'm dating, I'm dating with long term intent, like when I first started dating people. So I this is probably the at 32, my first time being like you know what I just want to like meet people and I don't want to be locked down immediately. I think I'm just really enjoying being single and my independence and my privacy and whatever. So like I don't really want to welcome somebody in into that right now. Right in the past, I've been like I want a long-term partner. So this is the first time I've dated with this new intention and in doing so, I'm learning about situationships. I'm learning about situationships. I'm learning about the conversation. It's different to be exclusive with someone, but not boyfriend and girlfriend and then like, are we completely open?

Christopher 1:06:42

So where's the question? I don't know, okay.

Colby 1:06:45

Your experience or what your opinion is on those things. I think okay. So, like prior to being in a situation such as the one I'm currently in, I didn't really get the like. I was like if you're exclusive, then you're dating, like I don't get that. But now I understand the nuances to all these little pieces.

Christopher 1:07:07

Would you care to explain at least the difference between? I was exclusive and dating or like well, I think exclusive.

Colby 1:07:14

Okay, so the my interpretation of the difference between exclusive and actually having claiming that person as your one and only partner is how many sexual partners you are having so like if you are exclusive. Oh, partners you are having so like if you are exclusive, oh, interesting. You are.

Christopher 1:07:33

You're one of the few that I'm having sex with.

Colby 1:07:37

No, you are the only one I'm having sex with.

Christopher 1:07:40

Oh, interesting.

Colby 1:07:41

But you might be going on other dates and hanging out with other people, but you're only having a sexual relationship with one person, but you don't want to put a title on it. Isn't that annoying? But also that's how I feel right now. I don't want to put any titles on anything I don't know wow, that's.

Christopher 1:08:04

That's intriguing, for sure I.

Colby 1:08:08

Isn't that weird? That's how 20-25 dating is.

Christopher 1:08:11

There's open relationships now.

Colby 1:08:13

Yeah, there's people who are in emotional long-term relationships, but then it's open sexually to other people, which is. I don't think I'd be down with that. To each their own.

Christopher 1:08:25

Yeah, I'm impressed people can do it. That's what I'm going to say. I'm impressed people can do it. That's what I'm going to say. I'm impressed people can do it. Oh yeah, so you know. The last thing is just kind of briefly talking about, like, what it's like to be single. Not you anymore, I am Okay.

Colby 1:08:49

I haven't had any conversations about exclusivity or name.

Christopher 1:08:54

You're right, but you just said I wonder why I haven't had that conversation yet.

Colby 1:08:58

The pros to being single. There are too many for me to give up right now. Okay, that was also a conversation I had. I was told I was rich. I said I'm not rich, I'm just a single woman.

Christopher 1:09:12

Yeah, I mean. But also you do make decent money as a nurse who's single and you get to do stuff. Well, majority of you get to do stuff Like, you get to travel, you get to have fun.

Colby 1:09:25

We have a great schedule to do that. If you're working, the traditional 3-12s and then you have all the days off, you can do so much. If you're single, you have nobody to like not that you need to answer to a partner, but you have nobody to answer to. If you want to go and do something, you go and do it. You don't have to be like hey, just letting you know I was considering this.

Christopher 1:09:49

And even those that are in outpatient and doing like clinic work. You get weekends and holidays.

Colby 1:09:55

Yeah.

Christopher 1:09:56

Like that's pretty cool too.

Colby 1:09:57

Honestly, it's really great to be single and be a nurse.

Christopher 1:09:59

Yeah, no, it's great.

Colby 1:10:01

Have a ton of fun.

Christopher 1:10:02

Same. The cons to being single and being a nurse. I need to push that paddle board before I forget tonight.

Colby 1:10:08

Yes, did you look at that?

Christopher 1:10:09

No, Before you leave. You got to. I don't know anything.

Colby 1:10:12

We can look at them. Cons to being

Christopher 1:10:14

Speaking of spending money.

Christopher 1:10:19

It's funny, colby is my executive assistant. That's my official title she spends my money and saves my money.

Colby 1:10:29

I don't. Let's be clear. I don't spend his money on myself. I spend well in a roundabout way. In a roundabout way, I do spend your money to benefit myself, like you know. What's a great idea you should buy a paddleboard so that you can go paddleboarding with me.

Christopher 1:10:47

Or you know what's a good idea this five-day mimicking. Fast Tell me how it goes.

Colby 1:10:55

You should try Prolon and let me know how it goes, because if you enjoyed it, if you think it's okay, I'm going to get it. You know what's cool? Dexcoms they make one called Stelo. I have so many examples of this

Christopher 1:11:12

the oura ring, the first one.

Colby 1:11:18

It only took me like two years to get one after that, okay, yeah, I do spend your money, but it benefits both of us. It does, it brings us both a lot of good things.

Christopher 1:11:31

We have fun times together.

Colby 1:11:33

We do.

Christopher 1:11:33

Yeah.

Colby 1:11:34

But yeah, so the cons of being single and being a nurse, your random days and weekends, like your schedule while it could benefit you, it could also hinder your availability to go out and meet people. You have to work. Holidays you have to work. You know major and minor ones, which we've talked in the past, but, like you know, people have. People's value system on stuff is not the same, it's not.

Colby 1:11:53

It is not equal across the board and like someone might really really really like they're. You know they're big, big Christians and they have to. Easter is a big deal for their family. You know what I mean Like, whereas myself I'm like, okay, I'm working Easter, not a big deal Like versus working Christmas or working Thanksgiving and New Year's Eve, that sort of thing.

Christopher 1:12:17

I will work every holiday except for Thanksgiving.

Colby 1:12:19

And I will work every holiday except for New Year's Eve.

Christopher 1:12:21

There we go.

Colby 1:12:22

Yeah, new Year's Eve is my holiday, yeah, and then when you're also the cons like with both of those things, it's just it can be really hard to meet people, yeah, which is why a lot of people end up dating their coworkers because y'all are doing the. It goes back to that shared spending so much time together.

Christopher 1:12:41

True the fact that I feel like nurses have this weird sense of like morbid Humor.

Pros and Cons of Being Single

Christopher 1:12:56

Yeah, like it's not necessarily like humor, like we do some humor, but we're just naturally a little bit more okay with death.

Colby 1:13:03

Oh, for sure. We're just darker, we're definitely darker. We didn't even talk about this.

Colby 1:13:14

When your partner can become a patient, or your.

Christopher 1:13:17

Oh Lord, no, we don't have time for that.

Colby 1:13:19

We're not going to get deep into that. Yeah, I mean we are.

Christopher 1:13:24

Overall, we're a very morbid dark humor group of people and I think that can be something that, like, steers people away

Colby 1:13:34

oh yeah, for sure I've gotten strange I mean even responses been like wait you're not vibing on my on my level.

Colby 1:13:43

Oh, shoot

Christopher 1:13:43

my bad.

Colby 1:13:44

That's the health care in me whoopsie.

Christopher 1:13:46

But even people don't even like it when I say if I die, I die.

Colby 1:13:51

I don't like when you say that there's nothing wrong with it.

Christopher 1:13:54

It's nothing different than me saying YOLO.

Colby 1:13:58

Yeah, but just I'd rather you say YOLO.

Christopher 1:14:00

I'd rather not.

Colby 1:14:03

YOLO's unserious. If I die, I die. It's just my brain's like. I don't like that.

Christopher 1:14:09

Immediately.

Colby 1:14:10

Immediately.

Christopher 1:14:11

Immediately no, nope, all right, I'm done.

Colby 1:14:17

All right class dismissed. That's a wrap for today's session of Nursing Lyfe 101. We hope you found some useful takeaways to bring back to the floor. Remember, nursing is a lifelong learning journey and we're here with you suffering.

Christopher 1:14:31

Trying to find love. Trying to find love.

Colby 1:14:32

Trying to find love, trying to look for love. Oh no, in all the wrong places, in all the wrong places.

Christopher 1:14:38

Yeah, if you want to connect, find us on Twitter at NurseLyfe101, or on Facebook at NursingLyfe101. And don't forget to subscribe and share with fellow nurses. Until next time, take care of yourselves, keep searching the dating pool and keep making a difference out there.

Colby 1:14:57

Maybe don't date at work.