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The Homeschool How To
I don't claim to know anything about homeschooling, so I set out on a journey to ask the people who do! Join me as I chat with homeschoolers to discuss; "why are people homeschooling," "what are all the ways people are using to homeschool today," and ultimately, "should I homeschool my kids?"
The Homeschool How To
#168: Homeschooling Through Grief: A Former Teacher's Raw and Honest Story
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What happens when life completely falls apart — and you still have to show up for your kids? This week Cheryl sits down with Barbara, a former special education teacher turned homeschool mom of four, who opens up about one of the hardest questions in homeschooling: what do you do when you're grieving?
After years of fighting the school system for resources her students deserved, Barbara knew she didn't want that for her own kids. She pulled them out, ditched the rigid curriculum, and built something that actually works for her spicy, high-energy family.
In this episode:
- Why connection over perfection changed everything for her family
- How she homeschools four kids aged 5–12 using interest-led unit studies
- What homeschooling through the loss of her mother actually looked like
- South Carolina's homeschool options and funding
- Why socialization was never actually a problem
Barbara also shares her memoir and upcoming Bible study guide for homeschooling through grief — because sometimes life takes the rug out from under you, and you still have to be there for your family.
Connect with Barbara here: https://a.co/d/0bMqCMiq
🎯 Ready to learn how families are actually working + homeschooling? Cheryl has interviewed 200+ homeschool families—and put a step by step process together for how to work and homeschool (even as a single parent!) Check it out!👉 How to Work & Homeschool (Without Burning Out)
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Why We Chose Homeschooling
SPEAKER_01I didn't plan to homeschool. I started asking hard questions, realized how little control parents actually have, and made the hard decision to leave a government job to homeschool my kids. Now I interview other homeschooling parents to learn how this all works. I'm Cheryl, and this is the Homeschool How-To podcast. Let's learn this together. This week I am meeting with Barbara, and I absolutely love this episode. She really digs into homeschooling and grief, and it just shows that we can homeschool through anything because it doesn't need to look like school. There might be something stopping you today, whether it's grief, a move, a work, life just getting in the way. Part of letting the kids be home with us is watching how life actually goes, even through the hard stuff.
Working Parents Course Offer
SPEAKER_01So if you're thinking I'd love it to homeschool, but I can't because I work, I just want you to know that I put together a course based on over 200 interviews now with homeschooling families over the last three years. I took down exactly what these families are actually doing to make homeschooling work while they're still making an income for their family. And here's the exciting part. This week only, I'm offering a special discount just for podcast listeners. Use code podcast at checkout for 20% off. Head to thehomeschoolhow2.com, click on my course, and don't forget to use the coupon code podcast. Or you can just grab the link right in my show's description. Enjoy the episode.
Meet Barbara And Her Four Kids
SPEAKER_01Welcome. And with us today I have Barbara LaForge. Thank you for being here, Barbara. Hi, thanks for having me. Where are you calling in from?
SPEAKER_02Uh I am calling in from South Carolina. Nice, nice. Um, all right. Have do you homeschool? Yes, I homeschool my four kiddos. All right, that's awesome. How old are they? My oldest is 12, 9, uh, six, and five.
SPEAKER_01Wow. Okay, so you got five. Um, 12 is the oldest. Okay, cool. What made you get into homeschooling in the first place? Did you always know that you wanted to?
SPEAKER_02No, so with my oldest, we tried everything. We started her out in private Christian school. We did public school, we tried the virtual hybrid school, we tried co-ops, but just we're on full-on homeschooling now because none of it really clicked for her. And I'm sure a lot of parents can relate to this. They go to school and they pick up their kid, and the teachers are saying, Oh, you know, your kid couldn't sit still. I mean, they're in kindergarten, they're they cannot sit still. I can't sit still for six hours. So there's just a lot of unrealistic expectations, things I started noticing, and my kids, um, their confidence just started just plummeting. So I really wanted to make sure they were successful, not just in school, but with their whole body and soul. So I we pulled them out and you know, we wanted to make sure that um everything was good with them. So we we focused on education and like their emotions and body and soul.
SPEAKER_01And like how many parents, I wonder, think like this is just how my kid is? Like, don't think that there are other options, or like maybe if public school's not working, maybe the Catholic school will, or you know, the Christian the private school will. And like really don't think beyond that because homeschooling seems so, you know, people just think of it as like, oh, they're like whittling and sewing all day. That's not us, so we can't do it. So, what were the differences? Did you find any differences when you went from like public school to private school to the hybrid thing? What I guess, what was making you say, like, this isn't working either for all of them?
SPEAKER_02There's just always something missing in each setting. There's also so many kids in each setting. So the public school class had like 35 students in it, and my oldest was having a hard time with reading, and so she was just falling behind. And one of my mottos for homeschooling is connection over perfection. And that's not something that you get in home in a public school or any sort of standardized testing kind of environment. They're they're focused on testing and perfection, you have to do it this way, and not everybody can learn that way. I would imagine not many can. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So, how old was she when you actually decided to homeschool?
SPEAKER_02She was in the third grade, I believe. When we just went full on homeschooling.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so what made you actually make like that choice? Like did it seem scary at first? And did you have to quit a job to start homeschooling?
SPEAKER_02Um, I didn't have to quit a job, thank God. But it was a really hard
When School Systems Fail Kids
SPEAKER_02choice. My husband was actually homeschooled, and I was actually um a special education teacher before I stayed home. So I had this, I had to unschool myself going through this process because I was just so stuck. Like the curriculum has to be this way, and there's, you know, it builds on itself and just the structure, but kids sometimes can't learn that way, and I was learning that my kids are not the kiddos that can learn that way. So really that pushed me into finding different ways to teach them. And that's the biggest thing with teaching is finding how your students learn best.
SPEAKER_01So that would be hard in a big, you know, when you have 35 kids in a class, it's obviously impossible. Did you all right? So when you were in the classroom, when you were a special ed teacher, had you seen things about the system then that you were like, oh, this isn't the best way they could be learning this, or because you hadn't really had kids yet? Was it just kind of over your head?
SPEAKER_02Absolutely. Um, I saw a lot of kids fall through the cracks. I was fighting a lot, I was fighting the administration a lot to get kids resources, and these poor kids were just falling more and more behind. And it just felt like even as a teacher, I was just hitting these roadblocks, and I didn't want my kids to go through that too.
SPEAKER_01Why wouldn't you be able to get resources for a kid in the public school system? Like, I would think that that would be like they say that's the reason to send your child to school. Yeah, especially if they have any sort of learning disability or special need. Send them there so that they have access to the resources.
SPEAKER_02Well, in my experience, always comes down to money. How much money does the district want to spend? So we ran into a lot of that, like arguments. Does this the kid really need this? Do they not need this? So it's just it takes a lot longer to get those resources and it's a lot harder than I anticipated going into that.
SPEAKER_01Wow. And then when you think of like I've had other teachers on the podcast before that have talked about, like, oh, but you know, the administration was all getting new carpets, and all we wanted was like their old carpet for this basement room that they stuck us in with their echo being horrible, and they would not give us the old carpet because they said it just wasn't in like it, I forget even the reason. It's just it wasn't approved. Yes. So they couldn't give it to them. And they're like, but it's you're throwing it out. We just need so that breaks my heart that like here you have a teacher fighting for like the resource that they're here for, and we can't give it to them. Oh my goodness. Okay, so did you now do your kids do they have any special needs, or it's just like they just, you know, like most kids don't want to sit for six hours a day and don't want to learn out of a textbook.
SPEAKER_02Um, I would say that we're a narrow, spicy family. I definitely have ADHD and they're not diagnosed ADHD, but I'm pretty sure that they have it. We're all just we all have a bunch of energy and we're all bouncing off the walls, and it is just hard to get them to sit for long periods of time. So a six-hour setting is not gonna work for them. We do school in like 30-minute increments for each kid and just you know, bounce back and forth.
SPEAKER_01Right, so get into that.
Interest-Led Learning With Unit Studies
SPEAKER_01You have kids aged from five to twelve, so you have a little array. Do you are you even doing any formal curriculum with the five-year-old at this point?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, we're doing phonics and he does handwriting, but nothing too serious yet. He's more interested in his monster trucks at the moment, so getting him to focus on pre-reading skills is it's kind of hard right now, but we're working on it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and I mean there's many people that believe, you know, until they're ready cognitively, and it makes sense in their world, like maybe at five, he's like, well, I don't I don't have to read to play with monster trucks, so it's not relevant to me. It doesn't exist. But if he wants to, you know, play a video game where he's got to spell something, then it's like, oh, maybe I do need to know this. So then what does your day look like with the other kids? Like, do you you said before, you know, I was like looking for curriculums and things had to pile on each other. What did you end up with after going through all of that?
SPEAKER_02After going through all that and stressing myself out, thinking that I wasn't doing it the right way, which really I don't think there's a right way to do homeschooling. I think it's what works best for you and your family, as long as they're getting in, you know, the basics of writing, reading, math, science, all that good stuff. We just started focusing on things that they were interested in. So they at the beginning of this uh year, they were really interested in the wild, wild west. So we did like Oregon Trail, we went to museums, we went to like a gold mine, we just focused on things they were interested in, and I expanded it with science, math, and English all within what they were interested in.
SPEAKER_01Okay, I love that. So for someone listening that does not homeschool, this seems overwhelming, right? Like, oh my god, how am I gonna? But it's really easier than it. Okay. So give us an example, and I love that you picked the Oregon Trail because that was the first video game my kid played, you know, and and he was like, How do I spell this? Because you have to like spell out your characters that are going on the Oregon Trail every time. And he'd be like, Well, how do I spell mom? And you know, what's your first name? How do I spell that? And it was so cute that like that was his push to want to learn how to spell.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I love that. Um, for us, I just looked on Amazon for books that pertain to anything Wild, Wild West or Oregon Trail. We have a train museum that's right by us, like an hour away. So I planned that into the curriculum. So we went to that one week and we learned how the railroad system came about, like the history of that. So we just tied all of that stuff in and the kids loved it. Yeah, we tried to incorporate everything from that time period, tried to immerse them into the curriculum.
SPEAKER_01We watched, we watched the whole series of Little House on the Prairie. And I know it's a book. We're just we're just screen people in some aspects.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Well we know that's the whole series, and now we're on to the Waltons, and which is funny because actually I guess the Waltons came out first, but that's about the the Great Depression era. Little House on the Prairie is more Oregon Trail time period. It's late 1800s. That was actually produced after the Waltons, but because it's because they have some of the same characters on it, and I'm like, oh, why is he old here? He should be younger. This is later, this is 50 years later. But um it I love that we did that, that we watched like all Little House on the Prairie, because I reference that all the time in life. Like when we're talking about something that's like 150 years ago, I'll be like, okay, so this is when Laura was really little, and like it gives them another. They make connections, yes. Right. So, like as you're doing the Oregon Trail and talking about it, it could be like, okay, this is when you know Laura would have been a baby and they they were moving out west in the first episode. And what would that have been like? Because I mean, we I remember in school thinking that it was so long ago that it just wasn't relevant to me at all. And now that I'm 42, I'm like, dang, that was like not that long ago. It was like a couple grandparents ago. Oh my gosh. And then and just what people had to go through. I think that gives kids such a great perspective on life. I agree, yes. Leaving your family and having to go off to this like kind of a scary place, and you know, um, so crazy. All right, so what all right, so all of your kids were obviously involved in this, even the little ones. Yes, yeah, and they all loved it and they're all yes, and you can kind of did you give them different fit levels to do, like maybe okay. Tell us about that.
SPEAKER_02So for my two older kids, I brought out the map, um, and they had some whiteboard markers, and I asked them to map out where the Oregon Trail was. And so they had to actually look at the map and figure out, you know, the mountains that they had to go over, and so they could actually visualize the topography while they were mapping it out. And so that kind of clicked for them when we're talking about the Oregon Trail. Like, oh, they had to climb up this huge mountain. We saw that on the trail. So, you know, making connects. My younger kids, we did a game where they had to fill up a wagon with all the stuff they wanted to take, but they could only take so many things because you know, we had to bring food and blankets. So they had to really think about what was important, and that was kind of like an emotional lesson for them, too. God, that's brilliant. Did you come up with that on your own? Yeah, I kind of picked some things from books I saw and watched a lot of TikToks and just kind of pieced some things together, but yeah, for the most part.
SPEAKER_01That is so cool. What a great idea. All right, um, you obviously decided somewhere along the line that you're just gonna homeschool all of them. Yes. And is this for the long haul? Or like what would you do if your oldest daughter said to you or or any of the kids, like, hey, I want to try out public school? Like, because this is a question I get.
SPEAKER_02So my kids have, you know, that's a threat to them. If I say, like, you know, I'm gonna put you in public school, they're like, no, no, because you know, the most expensive thing about homeschooling is the food, right? So they get snacks all day long. They wouldn't get that in school. So they that is the motivation for them.
SPEAKER_01They're like, no, mom, I want my snacks during the day. That's hilarious. My neighbor goes to school and he came over yesterday and I said to him, Oh, how's school? He's 12. And he goes, school, you know what it stands for? Seven cruel hours of our lives. And I was like, oh my god, I never heard of that before, but it's every letter of the word school. Seven cruel hours of our lives. I said to my kids, Okay, there you go. You're really gonna be upset that I tried to get you to read a book for 15 minutes today. Yeah, I know, right? All right, so where where does like do you do you lesson plan every week or do you like how does it look as you're looking at your
Family-Style Learning And Weekly Planning
SPEAKER_01year?
SPEAKER_02I just plan it out uh a week ahead of time because the kids change what they're into all the time. And so I just try to cater it to what they're into at that moment to keep their attention on it. And I mean, I still use like the good and the beautiful for math and English to kind of guide the older kids because they can kind of do some work independently. But we just do more of the add-on stuff for history, science, and um some English enrichment.
SPEAKER_01I remember the first time somebody mentioned to me the how did they term it? Um, like the family style learning. Okay. And so I'm trying to put myself in the shoes now of somebody who has not homeschooled their kids. It all sounds foreign. Can you talk a little bit about the family style learning? Because it sounds like that's what you do.
SPEAKER_02It took me a while to get there. I mean, I thought that things had to be really structured like a regular school day at public school, because you know, that was what was ingrained in my head. But you know, sometimes the kids aren't in the mood to read a book, so I will read the book. Or you just kind of go with the flow. And like I said, just focus on getting that writing and reading and math in, and like I said, just focus on the connection before perfection. Everything's not gonna be perfect every single day. It's not, but as long as you have that connection with your kid and you are getting in a little bit of English that day or a little bit of math, as long as you're doing something, you are still succeeding.
SPEAKER_01And what do you do on the really hard days when you just feel like we're not connecting, the kids are not wanting to do any of this, they don't want the math, they don't want the English. How do you connect in that environment?
Homeschooling Through Grief
SPEAKER_02Well, recently I went through something really hard. I lost my mom, and so I was grieving, and I had to, my kids were also grieving, so there was a lot of days where we didn't do any traditional school. It was just talking about our feelings or reading a book together or going on a walk outside and just taking the time to connect with each other. And there's still things within the house that you can learn, like baking is a really good option, or life skills like teaching how to clean, or you know, keeping a house. All of those are good things to teach kids through regular school day. So anything that you can any opportunity you can teach your kids through um in your whole household.
South Carolina Rules And Funding Talk
SPEAKER_01And what does the reporting look like in South Carolina? Like I know in I'm in New York, it's very it's very strict here. I think that's relatively speaking because I don't find it to be that crazy. However, it is your children and it's really nobody's business, but it it does scare people like, oh, we're in New York, we're not gonna homeschool because it's too too much reporting, and I it's really not a big deal. But what is it like in South Carolina?
SPEAKER_02So in South Carolina, we have three options. I'm on option three, which give us a lot of freedom. You can pick the curriculum. Um, you just have to do those core subjects. You have to check in at 90 days and 180 days with a homeschool association, and that's pretty much it. Okay, so no testing. No testing. Option two, there is testing, and you have to go through a co-op and you have more of an umbrella kind of helping you teach your kid, but with option three, you have a lot of freedom. So, South Carolina. What's option one? Um, I honestly I don't remember what option one was. I kind of looked at it and was like, nope, that's not what I'm gonna do.
SPEAKER_01I used to think that you couldn't work and homeschool, but after interviewing over 200 families now, if you've been a listener for that long, yes, that's actually how many it is, I realized that it's not true. People are working and homeschooling. It just looks different than we expect. I started noticing the patterns, the resources, the schedules that people were using to actually make homeschooling while working work. And I put everything that I've learned into a course called How to Work and Homeschool. If this is something that you've been trying to figure out and would really just like it laid all out for you, check out the link in the show's description.
SPEAKER_02But uh, option three for South Carolina gives us a lot of freedom and it's really been a blessing.
SPEAKER_01Do you guys have um like the ESA funding? Is that what it's called? ESA funding or any sort of tuition assistance or reimbursement? Yes, um, I'm pretty sure that's not the right word either, right?
SPEAKER_02Like tax-I don't remember exactly what it's called, but they South Carolina does offer tuition scholarships, I believe, through the state for homeschoolers.
SPEAKER_01And I think they're five thousand dollars. Okay, so like per kid you can get that back. Like, is it through your taxes or do they just give a voucher?
SPEAKER_02I think it's a scholarship that you can get, but don't quote me on that. I'm not 100% sure. So you guys don't? No, we don't do that, but um, I know some people that do. Do you what is your reason for not taking that? I just haven't really looked into it. I mean, we're really blessed in that department and we haven't really needed to spend a lot of resources for homeschooling, so okay, so it has to be used towards whatever just for homeschooling, right?
SPEAKER_01It's not just like, oh, here's $20,000 because you have four kids. No. No. Okay, okay, okay. That makes sense.
SPEAKER_02That would be nice, but no.
SPEAKER_01Well, and I'm assuming with it, and this is kind of the big thing that I've heard, you know, across the country, like if they start giving you the tax credits for homeschooling or the reimbursement, you know, because you pay into school taxes, there will be, if not yet, more strict rules over your reporting or your curriculum. It sounds like option two and option one. Probably more of those. Yes. All right. I love to, you know, hear about how each state does it a little bit differently. I we don't have any of that in New York. They just they just don't want you to homeschool here. Yeah. All right, cool.
Long-Term Goals And Unexpected Freedom
SPEAKER_01So what are your long-term goals for your kids? I mean, is it college? What does that look like for you when you are? I mean, you know, you kind of we we all go into homeschooling like because we want to make sure they know some stuff, but what are the goals like long term?
SPEAKER_02Long term, I honestly just want them to be successful adults. And if they choose college, great. If they choose tech school or if they want to be an apprentice of some sort, great. I mean, whatever they choose to do, I'll support them. But I just want them to be successful adults. I don't want them to go into the world not knowing how to adult. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So true. I know. At one point I was like, I just want them to be able to take care of themselves, like not have to depend on FEMA to like come in after a hurricane. Like I want them to know how to like get their food, water, shelter, their basic needs met without government assistance in an emergency. Absolutely. What have been some of the perks of homeschooling that you didn't expect?
SPEAKER_02The freedom just being like, you know, I don't feel like, you know, doing work at home today. Let's go to the zoo or you know, let's go to the mall and learn how they make pretzels, you know? Just the freedom to do, you know, kind of whatever you want. You're not stuck in a box, you're not stuck in a schedule every day.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And that even blows my mind still. I mean, we're still new, you know, my kids are young, but I worked for the government for 16 years in a cubicle, no less. And then before that, you know, the college thing, the school thing. So it was like always someone telling you where you have to be. Yes. And even if you have your free time, it's like, okay, but you have to get that report done or this homework done or study for that test. You always felt like you had something that you had to do. Whereas it like even tomorrow we have gymnastics at 10 30, but then it's it's gonna be a nice day here, and we don't have a lot of those right now. So it's like, oh my god, we don't have anything until four o'clock. That's like four hours. We could just do anything. What what do we do? And and it is nice. It's like, well, we could go to the park, we could ride bikes, um, explore something, go on a neighbor, or just come home and hike in our woods behind our house, clean clean the house. Um, it is really cool to just have it's like a weird feeling. I think you know what it reminds me of? I don't know if you've ever seen Shawshank Redemption, but like the end when the guy Like gets out of jail at the end of his life and he's like, I don't know, I just want to go back in jail. He likes commits a crime to go back in jail. I don't know. But it's like, yeah, you get out there and you're like, crap, this feels too weird. I don't know. Like, we want our kids to know that that is that's actually how you're supposed to feel. Yes. You can do you have agency over your own life. Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_02And I think a lot of us millennials had to kind of relearn that as adults.
Socialization And Activities Outside Home
SPEAKER_02For sure.
SPEAKER_01All right, the socialization question. Like you have four, so they obviously have each other. Do you do co-ops? Do you what do your kids interact with the outside world?
SPEAKER_02Yes, they interact with the outside world. Socialization was, you know, is always the question. Anyone who doesn't homeschool asked me, you know, how do your kids get out and talk to other kids their age or hang out? Um, so there's actually a lot of homeschool kids in our neighborhood. You know, we have kids like jump in fences into our backyard to hang out. We've had a neighbor cut a hole in the fence so their kid could come into our backyard. Oh my god, it's so fun. So we have a great community there. But our kids do karate five days a week, so they're interacting with kids there. And they also interact with kids at church, so they're you know, they're more busy than me.
SPEAKER_01Is that wow, five days a week for karate?
SPEAKER_02Is that every child at five days a week or yes, and they each have a different age group, so it's like four hours of karate a day.
SPEAKER_01A day? Yeah, you just replace school with karate. Yeah, pretty much. Are and are there school kids there? Like they're at school all day and then they're at karate for hours? Yeah. Oh my goodness. So that's something we have not gotten into, but I wanted my son to do it. I don't know, it might be too late now at seven because I feel like No. No, that's good. No. How do you pick between karate and jujitsu and all the other ones?
SPEAKER_02So what they do is more of like an MMA fighting style, so it's mixed martial arts, and I mean my husband could go on about it. I don't know all the details, but they get a bunch of different styles that they're getting taught, and um, it teaches a lot of discipline and focus. We really liked that studio specifically because it's family-owned, and so that's kind of why we gravitated to it. But I know that jujitsu is really good too. I've known a lot of people that have done that as well. Yeah, I wouldn't know where to begin. Yeah, my I wouldn't either. My husband, you know, that was his department. Oh, that's awesome.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So, okay. Well, this has been really fun. I mean, are there other things that you wanted to make sure that you mentioned or like advice for parents that are like thinking about homeschooling, but it just seems so far-fetched.
Barbara’s Book And Final Encouragement
SPEAKER_02Um, so I did write a book. It is a memoir kind of going through my journey of losing my mom. And in that book, there's a huge portion of it, homeschooling through grief. And next month I have kind of a it's a Bible study guide, but there's a huge portion of it that teaches parents how to homeschool through grief, you know, giving yourself grace during that time, and really making sure that you choose a connection over perfection during that time, and just making sure that you're not so hard on yourself, that you give yourself grace during those periods of hard times. It doesn't mean like losing a person, it could just be losing a job or you know, losing a dog, or just grieving a dream, anything in your life, you know, that can really just take the rug out from underneath you, and you still need to be able to be there for your family. So um, I have a book coming out that will guide you through that process.
SPEAKER_01That's so beautiful. Yeah, we just put our dog down a couple weeks ago. No, I'm so I'm like, you know, obviously it's not a parent, but no, it's still so hard. It's still a family member, right? Because for 11 and a half years, you're staring at this, like, you know, body of energy in your home, and then one day it's just poof, gone. And yeah, it and I have lost a parent, but this was actually a lot harder. But that's that is not saying that's what you're going through. Literally, my father just like sat in a chair all the time. Like, I think he watched like Jerry Springer. So it I mean, I love the guy, but it wasn't the same as like my dog that did everything with us, and you know, it was like an end of an era, it felt like like my husband and I, we got the dog one year into our relationship. So if we were 11 and a half years, then the dog was there. So now it's like, who are we without the dog? Like I was shocked at how how much like I would just break into tears. Still, even like last night, we had a friend come over that always used to bring bacon for my dog, and so like he's over, and I was like, Oh no, there's no stout here to eat bacon. And my son is like, Oh, mom, again. And I keep talking to him, I'm like, Stout sent us a cardinal this morning, guy. Like every day they're like, Mom, what's the new message from the dog? But you're right though, because I definitely took time back from doing any formal like education stuff. I just I didn't it didn't really matter, but we kept busy throughout the day. We were doing stuff, but and I and I did try to like make sure that I was talking to my kids about it and you know, really letting them know that it was okay to be sad and you know, do what I can to make them feel better, but really they just probably thought I was nuts. But yeah, it is that what is some of your advice that you would give to people going through something like like what you went through?
SPEAKER_02I mean, my biggest advice is I mean, just give yourself grace, give yourself time, don't be so hard on yourself, don't compare yourself to other people during that time. And I made all of those mistakes. I, you know, you get caught up, especially in the homeschooling world, you're looking at this homeschooling family, and you know, they have this strict curriculum over here, and then this homeschooling family is doing this, and it's so easy to compare yourself, but just worry about you during this time and worry about making sure your family is happy and healthy.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And you know, even when you're not going through grief, it's easy to look at the people on the Pinterest that and uh Instagram and all that. And I think I had made a post one time I remember about like, listen, the world schoolers are never gonna know what it's like to be, you know, homestead uh the homesteading family, right? Where you're like raising your own food and you're really taking pride in all that. And the homesteading family is not gonna know what it's like to be the world schoolers that are going to exotic places and learning different cultures, like submersing themselves into it and meeting new people all the time. But they're both equally wonderful experiences. It's just you have to pick one, or you know, just like the the only child that's being homeschooled is not gonna have the same experience as the one that has five siblings. But but they're both gonna be great experiences because the mom with one or the parent with one child can do a lot more, you know. There's probably just more money that they can spend, or it's it's easier to be asked to a play date when you have just one kid versus like when you're bringing six kids to someone's house in the whole neighborhood. Right. You don't get invited to that many play dates when you've got, you know, a whole van full of a bus full of kids. Yeah. But they're both great experiences. So I think we definitely have to remember that for sure. I I like that advice. Anything, any other parting wisdom?
SPEAKER_02I think my biggest advice about homeschooling is just do it. I mean, there's so many people that I've met that are just on the edge and they're like, well, I don't think I'm smart enough to do the curriculum or you know, I don't have the patience to teach them. You do, you do. You have the patience, and you are the best teacher for your kids. You can do it, I promise.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and like, do we all think that teachers are the most patient people? Like, they didn't go to college to learn patience. I promise you that. So I I'd rather be the one yelling at my kids and then I can apologize to them later if I and they learn from that versus some stranger yelling at them all day. That has been so nice. So, Barbara, where can people find you if they want to find your book or follow you?
SPEAKER_02My memoir is on Amazon, Kindle version right now. The hard copy should be out next month, along with my Bible study guide. You can find me on Instagram and Facebook. So check that out.
SPEAKER_00Barbara, thank you so much for being here. Thank you. Sharing your whole experience with us. Thank you for having me. It was fun. Absolutely.
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