#170: They Shut Down Her Classroom Because Kids Were Getting Too Much Help

Elyse Scheeler spent years inside the public school system as a speech language pathologist. She had a classroom full of kids making real, measurable progress. The district shut it down — not because anything was wrong, but because her program made their compliance numbers look bad.

That's when she knew she had to leave.

In this episode Elyse pulls back the curtain on what school staff see every single day but aren't allowed to say out loud. She couldn't tell parents what she suspected. She couldn't refer kids to outside specialists. The system had a rule for that too.

We also get into the airway health connection to ADHD and behavior that nobody in a school can mention, how COVID masking quietly set back an entire generation of language development, and how Elyse now helps families with kids who have additional needs homeschool successfully — without doing it alone.

In this episode:
— Why your child's school limits services even when kids need more
— The data vs. children problem hiding inside every IEP meeting
— Airway health, sleep, and the hidden root causes of ADHD and behavior issues
— How COVID masking impacted language development
— Using AI to build a custom curriculum for any learning style
— How to homeschool a child with additional needs

Links:
→ Free 30-Day Homeschool Quick Start Guide

→ What Do I Actually Teach? ($17): thehomeschoolhowto.com/what-do-i-actually-teach

CONNECT WITH ELYSE

🌐 Website:  speakinglife.co

🎙️ Podcast:  Speaking Life Into Motherhood

📱 Instagram:  @Speaking_life_into_motherhood

👥 Group Coaching Program: speakinglife.co/homeschoolplan

👉 Wisconsin Homeschool Expo: speakinglife.co/homeschool

📧 Email:  hello@speakinglife.co

🎁 Free Resource:  speakinglife.co/advocacy

Transcript

Why Cheryl Chose Homeschooling

SPEAKER_00 0:02

I didn't plan to homeschool. I started asking hard questions, realized how little control parents actually have, and made the hard decision to leave a government job to homeschool my kids. Now I interview other homeschooling parents to learn how this all works. I'm Cheryl, and this is the Homeschool How-To podcast. Let's learn this together. This week I sat down with Elise, a speech language pathologist who worked inside the school system. And what she shares with me about the limits that the school actually put on her will make your blood boil. So if your kid is in this system, they're probably getting these same limitations. And we deserve to know as parents what is going on. But before we jump in, I polled my Instagram audience recently and I asked, What is actually holding you back from homeschooling? And the number one answer, I just don't know what to teach. So I went through all of my episodes, I pulled everything together, and I created a guide called What Do I Actually Teach? What is required in your state? What does a college expect? And everything in between. It's$17 right now, and it comes with five printables, including a reporting template, an attendance log, and plain English breakdown of everything required. You can grab this guide at the link in my show's description. All right, let's get on with the show. Welcome. And with us today, I have Elise Sheeler. Elise, thank you for being here. Thank you so much for having me, Cheryl. Did I actually did I pronounce Sheeler right? Okay, because I was I normally don't even do last names, but for some reason I was like, oh, she's a podcast. I should do the full name. And then I was like, did I just butcher it? Ah, all right, cool. You're totally right. That public school education got me somewhere, right? I can pronounce last names sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 1:38

All right, Elise, are you a homeschool mom? I am. I have two kiddos. We just finished our like official first year. Last year, it was more part-time because I was still working part-time in my school position and then kind of doing the homeschooling the couple of days that we were home. But my kids were technically preschool. So this year is my daughter's 5K year.

From Classroom To Homeschool Mom

SPEAKER_00 2:00

Wow. Okay. So talk to me about like how you were in the school system and then came about to be a homeschooler.

SPEAKER_01 2:07

Yeah, so it's wild. When I was thinking about coming on the podcast, I realized it's only been three years since the idea of homeschooling like came into my heart. I really feel like it was something that, you know, God placed in my heart. I was at in my classroom with my educational assistant and we had just finished a really, really long day. I'm a speech language pathologist, so it's a little different. I had a really unique position in that I had my own classroom, a speech and language classroom, which is kind of a unique thing. And um, we had had a really tough day. And I remember being like, what if I homeschool just out of the blue? Had never thought about that ever before. And instead of her being like, okay, sure, you know, which is what I expected, she was like, I love that idea. I talked to several other people that I worked with in the public schools, and every single one of them was like, I think that's a great idea for you. So I kind of just ran with it.

SPEAKER_00 2:55

Wow, you're like waiting for someone to talk you out of it. And you're like, all these teachers are telling me oh, school. Which is a theme I'm seeing ever since I started the podcast three years ago. The first time I had a teacher on, I'm like, oh my gosh, diamond in the rough. And now I'm like, so many teachers are leaving. That says a lot.

How District Rules Limit Services

SPEAKER_01 3:14

Yeah, I mean, I think the place that I was in was again, I had this classroom, which was kind of a unique thing. And we only had like eight to ten early childhood kiddos with two adults, which you would think would be like so easy. Um, and it wasn't horrible, right? I I truly enjoyed it. I loved it, but I think I was beginning to really see and start to think about like, well, what is this gonna look like for my own kiddos when they hit school age? I I mean, I know you've talked about it on the podcast, like they will say that there is not indoctrination happening or that there's not um other types of like theology, but it is. Whether or not as a teacher you want that to happen or you believe in it, it's coming from the way that the system is set up. And I really, really struggled with that. And um, it just, it just kind of got the wheels turning for me, but I it wasn't something that I was able to change overnight. Once I got this idea, I kind of ran with it and I realized like I couldn't just leave my full-time, you know, tenured position to drop everything in homeschool. We just couldn't do that in my family. I was like, what can I do? Well, I could start my own private practice. And so I gradually worked my way up. It was probably about a year later. I had a different educational assistant at the time. And I remember being like, we had a really great classroom. Everything was marvelous. I had appropriately placed kids, they were making progress. It was just fabulous. I'm like, why would I give this up? And that week I got the letter that they were closing my room. Because why would you keep something that's working? No, we're gonna close it, shut you down, you know, move on to the next thing. I had no option. They moved me into a new position for the following year. And it was just God. He was telling me, like, nope, you need to step out. You need to do this, no cold feet allowed here. And that week we were going in spring break. So they literally told us before spring break there was a couple other SLPs that had the same situation. And we went into spring break, being like, we don't know what's gonna happen next year. You just feel like nobody cares about what you're doing, and like no one asked, like, are these kids making progress? It had nothing to do with the level of services that the kids were getting. It had all to do with the system and that it didn't look good for the numbers because our classroom was considered a most restrictive environment that was bad for the numbers. So it's just, it was one of the many things that continued. The like the system doesn't care. It's all about the numbers. This is a program that we had evidence that kids were making really good progress, especially with speech and language skills, because you need those skills to be successful in 4K and 5K. But because it didn't look good for the numbers, we're gonna get rid of it.

SPEAKER_00 5:44

And when you say the numbers, that like funding, oh, we offered this, so we're not getting as much funding, or what is that?

SPEAKER_01 5:52

No, I mean, I think for many states and like my understanding, excuse me, I'm sorry, I'm losing my voice today. I do have a lot of as late in the day, guys. A lot of speech therapy today, so there's already losing it a little bit, but it's so when your child is in the traditional schooling system, they they, the powers that be, and you know, coming even from like the federal government, want that child to be in the regular education environment as much as possible. And so anytime they're receiving special education services, so even for something like speech, which a lot of people don't think of special education, if they are receiving those services and getting pulled out of the classroom or not in their quote unquote natural environment, which for preschoolers might be home or daycare or preschool, then that is considered a more restrictive environment. And so that looks bad on the district. The department of instruction is gonna say, you have too many, your percentage is too high. And they don't care if it's a district like that I worked in, where like, well, their numbers were higher, but the needs were higher. We were we had a very high population of homelessness and trauma and you know, low income and all sorts of different things that should factor in. Like you're going to have more needs when you have more drug use, right? There's going to be all of those things, but they don't care. It's just, it's just about the numbers. And so they moved this program. They moved me into a program where I was still providing services to early childhood. But instead of those kids being able to get more of a, I mean, just more services, they removed that into, you know, once or twice a week, either in the home or in the daycare. So they just, it's, and again, it's we're very limited in the school setting because even if we want to give more, many times we are limited by the system and are told, well, that's more restrictive. And it's the same thing with inclusion. And that, I mean, I think you've, I think you've talked about in the podcast too, is that when we all want to be included. And I think that it's absolutely wonderful. But the problem comes in when inclusion, so everybody just being together all the time gets put above learning. Because sometimes kiddos maybe need a smaller environment. They might need to be able to have some of those extra services. And people will say, Oh, they get that. But I mean, I've seen it. The teachers are typically the ones who are fighting for that. And the administration and the system is saying no, because of, you know, these are the rules. They need to be in the classroom. Doesn't matter what their behaviors are, doesn't matter that they're on a kindergarten level with a bunch of other sixth graders, you know, and then we wonder why they have behaviors because they're bored, because they don't know what's happening, you know.

SPEAKER_00 8:24

Wow, I'm blown away. There's been a couple of conversations with teachers about the funding that do blow me away. This is definitely one of them because there's just no re we send our kids to school because we think I can't provide the services that they need because I'm just mom or I'm just dad. So send them to where they can get them. And then to know that these like probably rich people in these administrative roles are putting a stop to your child getting the services that could be provided. It should always fall on like the air of caution. Like give them the service, and then if they really excel, put them back into mainstream. But it sounds like it's and even my friend, I mean, she would tell me the same thing. She's like, I can I can recommend that a child needs a service, but if it comes from the parents, it gets pushed a little bit faster. And it's I'm like, wait a minute, it's not just like, hey, this kid needs it, put them in it. She's like, Oh no, it's a whole it probably takes a year. So then she's in the kindergarten and first grade class, they do a two-year cycle. And she's like, it probably takes a full year to get them into the class that they actually need to be in. So that entire year they're disruptive in a lot of cases, or wasting their time, right? Like, what about that own child? Like they're wasting their time if they can't function and what they're putting. It's just this is awful. This is our tax dollars.

Special Needs Support At Home

SPEAKER_01 9:41

Yeah, it's it's really hard. And I think that that was one of the driving factors for me was like, you could not pay me a million dollars to be a kindergarten teacher because of what exactly what you're saying. Many of these kids are coming in with either additional needs or you know, trauma or behavior things, and you have one teacher, 30 kids in a classroom, and they're just expected to figure it out. And what happens is typically by the end of kindergarten, the kids that do need, you know, special education and those types of things, they can get those things. But you have that entire year where these kindergarten teachers are just having to try to prevent themselves from drowning and making sure that a lot of times, I mean, some of the classrooms, it was just, we just want to make sure that nobody gets hurt today. Like and how how sad is that, right? And my thought was like, we've got some neurospiciness in our house and we're working through some stuff, but like both of my kids for the most part would fall into the like regular ed, you know, they're not gonna be having major behaviors most of the time. And so what about those kids, right? You know, and so it's one of those things that's really tricky. And now having done this, you know, for the last year and starting to kind of do some supporting of other I've always supported parents who have kiddos with special needs, but now doing it in the homeschool setting, I use that as an example because I'm like, if you want to homeschool your child, if God has placed that in your heart, or if you are just feeling called to do that, you can do it. I'm not saying you need to do it alone, right? You might need to have some sort of a team and have some support, but you can do it because those special ed teachers, they've got 12, 18, 25 kids on their caseload. You might have one or two. Do you know your child? Yes. Do you want what's best for them? Yes. Not saying that the teachers don't, but they don't have that same capacity that we do as moms, especially, to be able to support those kids. And I think that's like my biggest thing now is I feel like it is my mission to if you are whatever your child's got going on, but if your child has additional needs, you can homeschool. If you feel called to it, again, it's not that you need to do it alone and try to just figure it out, but it is possible. And I have worked with some really amazing families and just seeing the growth and the confidence, like that's the biggest thing, right? Don't you feel more confident as a mom? I feel like I've gotten to know you as a podcast listener and like hearing your confidence as you've grown and done this for a couple of years. Like we can do this.

SPEAKER_00 12:02

Yeah. It's yes, it's the parenting itself is the hard part. Just making sure they know some things. That's easy. I and you know, I'm thinking back too because my son, he did have like the list and stuff. And I remember a friend saying to me, Well, you know, you pay taxes in the district, so the school actually has to provide the services for you. As just being enrolled as the homeschooler there and and paying the taxes. So I'm like, Oh, okay, well, let's do that. And I remember it was probably two years ago, emailing the school, and and they were like, Well, I mean, he's only five, right? Like, can you understand him? I'm like, Well, yeah, but I'm his mom. Well, yeah, but if you can understand him, it's probably okay. And I'm like, wait, what? This is how it goes in the school. And I had a couple friends who were speech language pathologists, and I asked them, and they like gave me little tips to do, you know, so you can strengthen these muscles, strengthen these, do, you know, you look online and all that stuff. And we actually ended up working on it. I it's not perfect, but I think some will maybe grow out with age too. Um, but it's a whole lot better. Not saying that like what I did, anybody could do it because he probably didn't have a very strong lisp or anything. But it was just crazy that the school system, they they met with them only because I pushed for it. I was like, no, I really want him evaluated. And they pushed back, like, he's probably fine. It's probably just because he's young. And it's just so funny. I where I would think they would be like, yes, another one for our special services, therefore we can get more funding from the government because we have such a need.

Airway Sleep And Hidden Root Causes

SPEAKER_01 13:35

Yeah, I mean, I don't know that it evens out that way, though, with all of that. And there might be like, yes, there's funding, but also the the state is going to be looking at like their numbers. And then the other thing with that, too, that you bring this up, which is really interesting, and maybe we'll have to chat after the um recording, is that we have to prove as it so I still do some virtual work for a public school. So like I still act as that, you know, entity at times. And we have to prove educational impact. And things like Lisps and R's and those types of things are not most of the time going to be truly impacting education. But those are things like this is what you know, I'm now passionate about are signs that maybe there might be some other like structural things going on. There could be something going on with the airway. And as a school SLP, same thing with you know, whatever special ed you are, we can't refer out. That's not allowed either. So now as a private record, I can do that.

SPEAKER_00 14:32

Sorry. You couldn't just say to me as the mom, like if if if Jimmy had a list, but it wasn't impacting the way he learned his education, you couldn't say to the mom, listen, I think maybe you could just get like another opinion or like get it take him somewhere else just to get the list taken care of.

SPEAKER_01 14:48

It depends on the state's rules. So in Wisconsin, if they don't qualify, we could do that. So, like, and I actually just had a conversation with some diagnosticians today about that. But if there were, so like what I think about too is like I was on, especially towards the end, once I was starting to do more work in airway, like on some evaluations for ADHD. And I would say, okay, I'm just wondering, but can you tell me like how does Joey sleep at night? Oh, he sleeps with the mouth open, he snores, he's he has a hard time falling asleep, he's never rested. And then I'm like, oh no, well, I noticed when I was, you know, doing my evaluation that his tonsils were really big. Oh, yeah. You know, if I I mean, there were times where I would be like, if it was my child, this might be something I would consider, you know, and really trying to like, can you read between the lines? Because I couldn't say you should go to the ENT or you need to go to an airway dentist. Because if we referred out, then the school district was responsible for paying for that. But this is part of the problem with the system, is because we are not, as people who are in the schools cannot solve some of these issues that are medical issues. If the kids can't breathe, they can't, if they can't sleep well, they can't breathe well, their brains are never going to calm down. Kids that are being addressed, having airway addressed, we're seeing decreases in signs and symptoms of autism, decreases in signs and symptoms of ADHD. Again, with like some of the other things looking at diet and stuff too. But in the schools, we can't, we're like limited. We can just see this much.

SPEAKER_00 16:14

And it's just, it's very hard. And yes, you're not the first that said that. I I remember a mother saying, What if she wants she the teacher was like, I want it so badly to tell the parents because they just didn't know about her, like, stop eating your kid the red dye 40s and the high fructose corn syrup. And then, like, you probably don't need to put them on the medication that they're trying to get you to put them on. But she's like, I couldn't say that, which is so crazy, aren't we? In this for the kids. Now you're making me think about my son, and I'm like, he does kind of breathe funny. Maybe he is. We can just ignore. Oh, poor kid. I'm setting up what what is the sort of thing that they do for kids like that at the ENT or the I mean, it just depends.

SPEAKER_01 16:51

Everything that was happening with me kind of wanting to do homeschool also coincided with my son having some airway issues. And actually, it kind of ties right in because I took him to the pediatrician and I said, I'm like, I thought he was tongue-tied when he was born. You know, we went to the ENT. They said, Oh, well, if we clip him, he'll bleed and he's nursing fine. And, you know, when you're postpartum, you're like, okay, whatever. I guess I trust you. It's fine. Well, he was like 14 months old and he had never slept through the night. By this point, you know, we're co-sleeping. And I was like, he's stopping breathing. He's apnea. He has sleep apnea. Like, I know this. And I took him to the pediatrician and I said, I have concerns about this. I want an ENT referral. And they said, We're gonna refer you to behavioral health. They think that he should get a light that, you know, tells him when to wake up and go to bed. And that was when I was like, We're done here. Like a year all. I'm like, we're we're done. We're done here. And I was able, I found an airway dentist that literally changed my life. She did a CBCT of his, you know, upper airway and all of that stuff. And his adenoids were comp like, it was like 95% blocked. He could not breathe at all. And so there's different things. For him, we he had his adenoids removed and we had his tongue tied clipped. There's expansion. There's air, the airway dentists do a lot with um, you know, and my my daughter who is five is getting expansion. Like they can do it younger because if you are, if you think about it, like the top of your mouth is the bottom of your sinuses. So if your tongue is sitting low and it's not helping your mouth to widen out, then you're you're gonna end up with really like small space up here. And that can put a lot of burden on the adenoids and tonsils. There's a lot of different, you know, in the crunchy world, people don't like to take the adenoids and tonsils, but there's different things you can do. There's, you know, working on lowering inflammation, you can do the expansion. There is surgery, there's myofunctional therapy, which helps to like teach the tongue where to go in the mouth. All of that to say, like, moms, trust yourself because the system is not looking out for you. And that's again, I love, we have a new pediatrician and I love her so much. But I think we just need to be constantly reminded to trust ourselves and to keep questioning, which you are like the queen, Cheryl. I'm like, you are like so good about just continuing to ask questions and learning and keeping that open mind. And as homeschool moms, that's what we want to teach our kids too. Like, I want you to be a critical thinker, not just take whatever I say as the truth. You know, ask more questions, find out more.

SPEAKER_00 19:10

Thank you so much. I it's hard because sometimes you do just want to be like, oh my God, ignorance was bliss, right? And then it's like, what is the current crunchy thing? We did the tongue tie on both the kids. I'm like, was that the crunchy thing to do? Was it not the I don't know? I don't know. Look, it's like sometimes it is the crunchy people doing them, and sometimes it's you don't do any surgeries, but it it did help him a lot. I you made me think of that. We did do that at four years old, which was traumatizing for him. And my daughter was like four weeks old, and it was much easier for her.

SPEAKER_01 19:39

And those things all go together too, right? And I think it's just one of those things where if we're reflecting on it, that just like the school system and even like homeschool, you need a team of people. You're gonna need multiple points of view to be able to like make good decisions. And unfortunately, that's not really what happens in the schools. And when you're home, you have the ability to build your team, you have the ability to see what's actually happening with your kid and how it's impacting them. And we're just so much, I don't know. I don't want anyone to feel bad. Like, I feel like if you're on the fence, like you shouldn't feel guilty if your kid is in public school. But like I want people to feel empowered that like you can do this and you probably know more than you think you do. Right.

SPEAKER_00 20:26

And I've talked to parents who have been, you know, at those meetings with the people from the school, and it's almost intimidating where they have like a, you know, 10 people from the school up against mom and maybe dad's there. And it's just very intimidating. And it's like, you can remove all of that. You are the parent. And we forget that they have actually like trained us to think we don't have the right to make these decisions for our children. How did it get that way? It's so um, I mean, they've just been training us, I guess, since we were three, four years old, putting us at a desk and telling us where to sit, when we can go to the bathroom and when you can speak, and then giving you homework so that when you're I still get mad at this now, thinking like they made us so busy, we never even got time to think about what we enjoyed doing or discover what we enjoy doing, so that how are we supposed to find a job doing the thing that we enjoy doing? Yeah. And they've made us so busy we never you know knew. So, all right, how old did you say your kids are?

SPEAKER_01 21:21

So my daughter will be six, and my son is four. So they're like 3k and 5k this year that we're finishing up.

Working While Homeschooling Little Kids

SPEAKER_00 21:28

Okay. So are you and you're in Wisconsin? Mm-hmm. Nice. I have an aunt that lives in Kenosha. Yeah, I'm in Racine, we're very close. That's close. Oh yeah. Hi, Aunt Mary. But yeah, she worked at the university there. She actually left because she's like, they're telling me to give shots to people for opposite genders and like it's like I couldn't. You know what she was saying? She was saying that people, okay, college kids would come in and ask her for the hormone replacement drugs or hormone blue hormone blocker drugs. And she's like, I'm not right in that. I don't know. Like, don't you have Whatever doctor is for. And she's like, where did you get it? And they'd say, Planned Parenthood gave them hormone blockers. Crazy. So, okay, I just wrote a course on like how to work at homeschool. So I would love to hear with little ones because it's almost like what I've realized is there's a difference between I'm working and I have to supervise my children, like make sure they're alive and fed. And then when they're a little bit older, it's less supervision, but it's more education, like making sure they, you know, are getting different subjects and you know getting exposure to different things. So you're in the early stages, which is almost harder, I want to say, because it's so hands-on. How do you work in homeschool with two little first of all?

SPEAKER_01 22:41

I'm super blessed. My parents take my kids two days a week. So I have two days that I am in my office that are, you know, pretty long days. My husband will pick them up. So he's with them in the evenings. So I have some designated time, which I know not everybody can do. So that's huge. And then this year, they have also, we are very eclectic. And like I used your homeschool curriculum series to pick out some curriculums. And I think I have an idea of what we're gonna do for next year, but like this year it was very like, we're gonna be fine. We're gonna figure it out. We have some workbooks and the kids do those at my parents. And I use, I totally use AI. I utilize that a lot. And I'll be like, hey, I want like for the fall, I was like, I want a Charlotte Mason-inspired, you know, something that has a biblical context, nature curriculum that's gonna focus on foundational skills for, you know, preschoolers. And it spits out all of this amazing, you know, stuff at me. And I don't, you know, take it like everything, but like get ideas, and I gave that to my mom, and so they did a lot of this stuff. What one did it give you? I mean, it'll give you whatever you want. I use Claude, Claude and I are buds.

SPEAKER_00 23:43

Great. No, but did it give you somebody's specific career?

SPEAKER_01 23:47

I created my own.

SPEAKER_00 23:48

Holy wow.

SPEAKER_01 23:49

And that's one of the things that I have worked with the women that I've been coaching and that I'm gonna incorporate into my group coaching is like utilize AI. You don't have to give any like personal information if you're you know freaked out about that, but like you can say, okay, these are the goals. Like if you're working on something with your child, we want to work on, you know, something functional. I need them to work on being able to self-regulate during this time of day. These are the difficulties they have. Give me ideas for teaching self-regulation, and it'll like spit out some of that for you. I need my child to be able to work on reading C V C, so consonant vowel, consonant words. What are some creative, not bookwork ideas that I can use? It'll spit it out at you. And then you can take it or leave it. You know, not everything in there is gonna be good, but I use that a lot to just kind of give me ideas. The other curriculum that we're going to be using more structured is the simplified feast, which I know somebody that's I got it from your podcast. And they have, she has a really awesome summer one, and that brings in a lot of Charlotte Mason stuff too. So there's a lot of fun things. So I give my mom some things to work on. We, and then those other three like weekdays, I am home, but I will be very honest. Like, we are gonna homeschool. We we have homeschooled year-round and we will continue to do that because summers are still gonna be lighter for me because I do have a position that is heavier during the school year. And like this week, how much homeschool did we get done? Something. We did something. Yesterday, I was like, you guys, we have to do something. And my daughter's like, we're making muffins. I was like, yes, we are. We're gonna make muffins and you're gonna do some math and you're gonna write down the ingredients and then we're gonna talk about it. And so there's there's times where yes, I am working in homeschooling, but I am flexible. And like both of my kids are, you know, reading above their age level. They are doing functional math skills, all of that stuff. We'll start next year with a little bit more structured curriculum, but like you don't have to be super structured. I mean, and you know that, right? Like we can just do it in a nice short period of time or sporadically throughout the day. And I give my kids a lot of like freedom in that. And we do like, what do you want to learn about? Tell me what you learned to yesterday or today, and like how, okay, you're giving me this. I'm gonna make something for us where we're gonna incorporate, you know, these skills into it. And that's been really, really nice. I mean, I just we do stuff every day. There's never a day where we don't have some sort of lesson. Again, sometimes they're five minutes, sometimes they're 10 minutes. And then helping having that help, I should say, from my parents has been huge.

SPEAKER_00 26:10

Yeah. That and that is so important too to know. Like it, it just happens in everything that you do anyway, like making muffins. And you can just add that little extra, like, okay, you tell me where one cup is on this, you know, measuring cup. And so, like, they have to actually look at it, okay. Well, it's a two cup thing, like, where is the one, you know, and and you tell me which one's the tablespoon and um and having them write it that extra step to say, like, okay, now you write the recipe. I mean, how many kids are graduating high school today or college and don't know how to write like a recipe, like, you know, C just stands for COP or TB, S P is tablespoon. You know, are they learning that? Because you you learn that when you do it. And I don't think they teach home ec anymore. That is so cool. And um, so I I love that you said, you know, we have family that will watch them for two days a week. Because I think a lot of times you'll think, well, it's my choice to homeschool them. So am I putting this, you know, you don't want to say burden, but like extra thing that family has to do to watch my kids when they could be in school. I feel like that might be in the back of people's heads sometimes, um, too, you know, but you have to think about like the bigger picture. And yeah, instead of thinking about it as like a burden for the in-laws or parents, like it is time that they're bonding with the kids. Now that they are a little bit older, like of school age, they are a little bit easier to have all day. It's not like giving someone a six-month-old. Also, if you don't have the family nearby, something great is to like find a local family. Is it just like, hey, are you home Tuesdays and Thursdays? Because I'm home Mondays and Wednesdays. What if I took your kids two days a week? You took mine two days a week, and there you go. Nobody has to even exchange money. They get some time to themselves to clean, cook, do whatever, work. Um, that stuff. I think that that will be much more popular, you know, as people start understanding this is how this is how life could look.

Using AI To Plan Learning

SPEAKER_01 27:58

Yeah, I think there's so much flexibility in it. And now I'm in um a couple of different co-ops, and so I'm meeting all of these different families and just seeing how they are doing it. And many of the moms have some level of either job or additional income that they are, you know, are are generating and or are managing, you know, other things. And it's like, it's possible. I think again, it's just we are so programmed, right? It's so hard to break out of the programming that we have received in the public schools. And once you start to go, well, like, I don't have to do school at this time of day, we could do it at from 5 to 7 p.m. or whatever it is, you know, for those kids. And then you can start to be like, oh, this is more flexible, you know, that kind of a thing. And it is happening all the time, especially for early childhood. You know, I what do I tell parents? Screen free play, read to them as much as you possibly can and talk out loud like you are a weirdo, right? Like a lot of the parents are like, what do you mean? I was like, you tell them, I am going to go wash a dish now. First, I am going to grab some dish soap, and then I'm gonna grab the water and we're gonna go all together. You know, why would you do that? Because you're teaching them language, and so many of these kids are not hearing the language because they're in front of a screen. It's not the same thing. And for anybody who's had any late readers, if you are giving them those foundational language skills, they are going to be able to much more easily pick up the reading once they start getting the phonics. And a lot of that stuff can be true. You know, we could have even done the recipe with a higher level because people will be like, well, you can't unschool if they're older and it's got to be more structured. Okay, sure. You know, I maybe more than writing, but then I say no. Actually, I'm gonna give you some more complicated math and you're gonna have to do, you know, you're gonna multiply some fractions. I don't know how to do it. I'll have to learn that when we get there. But you know, I already forgot. Right? Like I already forgot to do that.

SPEAKER_00 29:50

Yes. And it's also like, okay, well, how much math do they need? Because, like, you forgot it. Now you have a teaching degree. Did you need it? No, you're able to like, you know what you could work with your kids on? How to file taxes. Like, let's take a class together, child and me, parent, on maybe like how we can get out of paying all these taxes and how like the elites, you know, write this off and buy this business to sell it and do it, you know, and we'll learn that together. I bet there will be some math in that, something that's actually useful.

SPEAKER_01 30:21

And I think I I had a conversation with a family just like a couple weeks ago. And the mom was like, I really want to homeschool. And I'm like, okay, you know, we're kind of talking about it. And the dad goes, Yeah, she's really wanted to do this forever, but like, how do you know what to teach? And I'm like, Well, like, what do you want them to learn? You know, and again, we have to, it's like, how do we get out of that system and all of that? And he was kind of like, huh. And I'm like, Yeah, like I always tell parents, you know, start with your end in mind. And a lot of the parents that I work with have kiddos with additional needs. So like it may look a little bit different, right? Like we're we're realistic in what we think that our kid is going to be able to achieve when they quote unquote graduate. And so you have that end in mind. I want them to be able to have a regular job, have a conversation with someone that they don't know comfortably, or maybe it's go to college, or maybe it's, you know, own a business. And so, what are the basic skills that they're going to need to get there? And then you start going, like, okay, well, right now they can count from one to 10. So we're gonna work on counting from 10 to 20. And you just kind of gradually work your way up. And I think that we just forget that it doesn't have to be complicated. And like, I I want that too. Like, I'm I'm gonna add that to my list. I have like this running list of bigger things, but like, yes, teaching them how to file taxes and understanding ways to pay less taxes, I'm gonna put that on my list because that would be important to me, right?

What To Teach And Why

SPEAKER_00 31:37

Right. For us to all know and and something actually beneficial, you know, that like, hey, you're gonna have to do this every year of your life. And and I just think too about like the jobs are gonna be so different when our kids are in their 20s. And I was talking to friends today, and you know, you mentioned AI and a lot of people in the homeschooling community because we tend to be more crunchier, not like sitting in under Wi-Fi radiation all day long. But um, they are like apprehensive to jump into the AI world. And I totally get that, you know. But here's the thing: like, if you don't know anything about it and you just kind of refuse to support it or or think that it exists, you're not doing a service to your children because that's all the jobs are going to be. There's going to be some level of AI in whatever job they're probably gonna go into, even if it's farming. I'm sure there will be something AI driven to help them do that better, more efficiently. And if they are not up to par with the rest of the farmers, they're not going to be doing as well or as fast or make as much money. So they'll lose out. But as you were like kind of giving the prompt that you give AI, I mean, that's half the battle, actually. That could be a class on its own to teach your child. Like, we don't just say to AI, like, what should I make for dinner tonight? You know, it's it'll spit out meatballs. Okay. But if you're like, I have a picky three-year-old, a son that's allergic to dairy, we really like sweet stuff, but I don't want any high fructose corn syrup. These are the items that are in my pantry. Give me five recipes that I could cook tonight in less than 30 minutes. You're gonna get five recipes with all of that. So it's like teaching them how to ask the questions because yeah, these jobs, it's not going to be like white-collar jobs that they can just get in 10, 15 years. It's gonna be people that are either probably like in trade sort of stuff, and even that's gonna have AI. But you're gonna have to know how to deal with the AI if you are going to be working really with probably anything in in 10 years. It'd be like like the automobile is coming out and we all should learn how to drive. And I'm sure there were people like, I don't want to. I don't think it's good for the environment. Well, that's fine, but you're not gonna be able to sell anything because you can't get to the market 20 miles away.

SPEAKER_01 33:48

Yeah, I think it's one of those things where, like, again, we have to all make our own judgments and decisions. But like for me, I will say honestly that I could not have my business without it right now. And it's not that it's thinking for me, it's just the level of organization that it helps with. Um, you know, so I'm utilizing that. And I think about too, like the timing of all of this. I would not be able to be like working successfully as a mom, as a business owner, as a homeschool mom if I didn't have some of those organizational pieces. So it's like the timing for me was was everything. It it all worked out. I'm grateful for it. And again, I understand where there might be some hesitation with some people, but again, learning and how you can use it and what makes the most sense. But I I encourage the families that I work with just to pull, even if they're a little bit worried, because they're going to find, especially when you're like, you know, any mom, like when you're, I'm having a hard time with ideas or I'm struggling with getting my kiddo excited about X, Y, Z skill. Give me some ideas. This is what they like. How can I incorporate that? I'm pretty good at that because that's what I did as a speech therapist, right? Like that's what we did. But not every parent is. And so getting those ideas, again, helps you gain that confidence. And once you use it, you you may be like, well, I used it a couple of times. Now I don't really need to use it anymore because I can come up with my own ideas. Yeah. Yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_00 35:04

It's a crazy time that we are living in, but I think we have to at least, at least, you know, teach our kids about it. They don't have to use it for tests or, you know, whatever you do with them for their educational component, but learning how to use it is probably gonna benefit them at some point in their life. Okay, so as we like roll up, let me think of some other things. I'm think you know what I keep going back to is when you were like, oh, it was God telling me it was my time to homeschool because they were closing my classroom. And but I'm I'm looking at it from the perspective of those poor children. Like, where are they now? They're just they're just back in like a mainstream classroom and they can't probably keep up as well, or like they're just gonna keep not be able to have the services to help them articulate exactly how to speak properly.

COVID Masking And Speech Delays

SPEAKER_01 35:46

Yeah, I mean, so I mean, I think those kiddos are are doing okay because they were in my classroom. I think now, again, because that was the position. So the the position that I then took, they that they moved me into after that was still with preschoolers, but I was going into the homes and into the daycares. And I just, I think the majority of us on that team felt like for most of the kids it was not enough. Yeah. And so, well, what happens then? And it's one of those things where like Carol Joy Side is another like person in the homeschooling world and she um does homeschool made simple and she talks about like not doing things, like now, I'm gonna ruin the quote, but it's like, don't worry about doing it too early, right? Like later is better than to than early, which is great for a lot of things. However, if you cannot speak early on, it's going to be very difficult to catch up. And that's one of the things where there was this kind of disconnection where they'd be like, well, you know, there's a lot of research now that shows, you know, we're doing all this early childhood and it's not really making that much of a difference in the test scores. Well, okay, if you're taking kids out of the home to put them into these, you know, structured systems where everybody's dysregulated, that might not be. But there is research to show, especially for like occupational therapy, physical therapy, speech therapy, if we do early intervention, they will have better outcomes. And so again, there's just this disconnect with that. And I think a lot of us just felt like, I mean, we did the best that we could, but it was not going to be the same as that higher level of services that we were providing, where those kids were then leaving and were ready, or we're at a place where, yes, they still had speech difficulties or language difficulties, but they could at least be, you know, at a minimum somewhat understood. Because sometimes they're coming in and they're not able to be understood at all. And so then how does that impact your academics and your ability to learn and make friends and all of that? And so it it's, you know, without I think everyone that I worked with was doing the best they could with the parameters they were given, if that's fair.

SPEAKER_00 37:39

How much did you see? Did you see anything get worse from COVID and the masking? Well, yes.

SPEAKER_01 37:45

Oh gosh. Well, and COVID, like many of us, like, I mean, I was already like feeling like things were kind of a dumpster fire and and really starting to understand that what was happening was not aligning with my values. And then that just really opened, opened up a can of worms. I I did have my classroom, I had that was my first year of having my classroom during COVID, and like we we didn't wear masks. And it was like I told the families, I'm like, we they're three. I can't do that. And like you're teaching them how to teach them how to speak. Yes, and like look at my mouth and all of those things. So I did not have, I mean, I didn't have any pushback. There were no families that were like, you know, you know, you must. I think we did wear like shields, which again, like it's just like such a joke now. When you look back, you're like, it did nothing. You know, they made us do all of these things.

SPEAKER_00 38:28

Um, like, why is this like a spaceship lady coming at me?

SPEAKER_01 38:33

Yes, but for my so that year, I still had um elementary age kids. And so yeah, they were coming in and we're doing speech with I mean, and a lot of times it was one of those, again, where it was like, Are you comfortable if we take your mask off? Yeah. Because it was, it was impossible. And like, I I don't know if there's research, but I firmly believe that those kids that were at the age of language learning or high levels of language learning are still behind. I mean, my daughter is a COVID baby, so like her kindergarten year and last year when we saw it, the amount of additional needs and language, especially, was so high. And I personally feel like the masking and the social distancing had a huge impact on that because these kids missed out on so much.

Where To Find Elise Plus Expo

SPEAKER_00 39:14

Yeah. And now we're left with the, you know, results. My son was born in 2018. So yeah, he was two when they started masking. And I said to the daycare, now will the daycare lady masked her, like the her and her daughter that ran the place. And I remember her saying to me, you know, I think you might want to get him checked for speech. I wanted to be like, oh my god, take the mask off then. You're with him all day. And my husband and I both said, if they start masking the kids, we're out. And that's what happened. They started masking three-year-olds in New York. And we were just like, no, he's not going to learn how to talk with a mask on. He's already seeing a daycare provider with a mask. Jesus. It is, it's criminal and disgusting, like what we went through, you know. And I mean, some of us chose to not, but that was hard too. Um, because, you know, if it meant like, okay, now you're no longer in daycare, I'm sure. And yes, it was better that he was home with me, but I'm sure he had friends there. So he was just all of a sudden like ripped out from this lady that watched him, you know, probably 30 hours a week, and friends that he played with for 30 hours a week because of that, but it worked out for the best for us. But yeah, what a crazy time. What a psychological. It was all right. So, do you want to tell people like where they can find you if they would like more information? Um, I know you said you did group calls.

SPEAKER_01 40:33

Yeah, absolutely. So um, my podcast is Speaking Life into Motherhood, and it's all about child development and supporting moms of I would say kiddo kiddos with all needs, but we do focus in on some of those additional needs. And my group coaching program is gonna be launching in June. I have I do have anybody who's in Wisconsin or in southeastern Wisconsin, I have a private practice. My private practice is speaking life, speech therapy, and wellness, and everything can be found on speakinglife. I didn't have enough money to buy the com, so I'm.co. Speakinglife. See, I would have thought that co meant you were even more prestigious.

SPEAKER_00 41:08

I know.

SPEAKER_01 41:09

Well, I'm working on getting trademarks. Um I got my trademark for my podcast, and I'm like very close to the end for speaking life. So at this point, I'm gonna be like, you're nobody's gonna be able to buy it, so you should just give it to me anyway. So we'll see. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 41:21

That might be wishful thinking. That's funny. Well, I will put all those links in the show's description so people can check that out. Any like parting words or advice that you wanted to give today?

SPEAKER_01 41:30

I just think that if you want to homeschool, if it has been placed on your heart, I want every mom to know, or every dad, if there's dads listening to, that like you can do it. I think that, you know, Cheryl, you prove every day, every episode that you have on that there are so many different ways to homeschool. You're not locked in. We don't have to take our kids out of the system to then put them into another system of homeschooling. There's so much flexibility. And if you want to do it, you can. Again, with support, you don't have to do it by yourself. There's so many different communities that are out there ready and willing to love on you and love on your kiddos. And if it is in your heart, you've got this. And I forgot one other thing. I actually am organizing a homeschool expo. If you're in Wisconsin, I'll put that, I'll give you the links for that too. In August, the Wisconsin homeschooling expo. So come on down and check out some things there as well. But I'm just, I just feel like after all these years in the public schools, it is now my mission to just support those who are wanting to maybe do something different.

SPEAKER_00 42:31

Oh, I love that. That is so cool. We should have an expo. I'm gonna put together an expo. That's my goal. People always ask me, like, so what's your goal with the podcast? I don't know. I just wanted a hobby. And now, but you're rocking it. It's an expo. That's my goal in life. Maybe Dale Bigtree will come and talk on that.

SPEAKER_01 42:47

Yeah. I mean, I I'm I'm you would have so many people, and I think like I literally, they're like, Who are you to do this? And I was like, Who am I not? Like, why not? There isn't one, I'm gonna do it, and we'll see. And the like, I've I have had so many people that are interested. We sold a bunch of tickets, lots of vendors, and it's just because there's such a need, and people are looking for resources, and that's why your podcast is great because this is one of those amazing resources. So cool. All right, you've inspired me.

Final Encouragement And Closing

SPEAKER_00 43:11

We're putting it on the calendar. Oh, Elise, thank you so much for being here today. All the links to Elise's contact info is in the description, so check that out. Thank you for being here. Thanks for having me. Thank you for listening to the Homeschool How To podcast. If today's episode helped you, please be sure to follow the show and leave a review. It's the best way to support the podcast. And if you're just getting started or need a reset, head to thehomeschoolhowtu.com and grab my free 30-day homeschool quick start guide. Until next time, keep learning, keep questioning, and thank you for your love of the next generation.