Phone Etiquette Tips: Communicate Better on Every Call

In this practical episode of How to Talk to Humans, communications expert Larry Wilson breaks down the essentials of phone etiquette and how to communicate more effectively in every call.

From tone of voice to active listening, Larry shares simple but powerful techniques that can instantly improve how you come across on the phone. Whether in business or personal conversations, the way you speak—and listen—can make all the difference.

This episode explores how to build rapport, avoid common communication mistakes, and create more productive, positive interactions over the phone. With real-world advice and easy-to-apply strategies, you’ll learn how to sound more confident, clear, and engaging.

If you’re looking to improve your communication skills, phone presence, and everyday conversations, this episode delivers practical tools you can start using right away.

Hosted by Larry Wilson
Produced by: Verbal Ninja Productions
Producer: R. Scott Edwards
Sponsored by: The Wilson Method

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Transcript

Larry Wilson 0:00

Hi, this is Larry Wilson, and this is How to Talk to Humans. This is the podcast that shows you how to improve your communication skills. Are you looking to get a better job? Are you looking to find a relationship? Are you trying to do things in your life that have frustrated you and eluded you so far? I can show you so easily how to change that. Now, I can only do it with humans. If you're looking to deal with vampires or zombies extraterrestrials, this is not the joke. But if you're really looking to improve your communication skills, I can show you what I've learned for 40 years in the show business working with the biggest celebrities and superstars in the world. And their secrets are unbelievable. What I'm going to be teaching you during the course of this podcast every week are tools that you can use to communicate toward success. Hi, thanks for joining me again for another episode of How to Talk to Humans. I'd like to talk today about. Sometimes I hear what I'm about to say and it makes me laugh. I was going to say about how to talk on the telephone to humans. Some of you are thinking, what? You just dial and talk. Yes. Others of you thinking, you can call people on your phone? I thought that was just for like, you know, playing games and watching videos. Yes, you can actually use your phone for speaking to other humans. And uh it's it seems like a simple thing. You know, in other episodes, you've heard me talk about the three D's in Wilson Method. That is to determine, define, and deploy. And that second D, define, is very important because we use, uh sorry, I should back up even more. The first D is to determine your goal in communication and define the means of transmission so that you can deploy the tools that you're learning in Wilson Method. Defining that means of transmission is mission critical because there's different tools to deploy. On the phone, you're going to be using different things than you would be using face-to-face, on a Zoom call, in a text, in an email, in a handwritten hardcopy, all different. But the phone is a very unusual one because, and I'm assuming this really is your phone, as opposed to a uh uh video call or a FaceTime call, um, that would be more like a Zoom or you know something on the internet. But uh on a telephone call, we are at a disadvantage because we don't get any facial affect from the person we're speaking with. Some people never think about this. I wouldn't be surprised if you yourself had never considered this. But so much semiotic information is coming from their facial affect. When you're speaking to someone in person, the air is thick with information. Now, it may be unconscious on both parties' parts. Uh the person you're speaking to, they may not be conscious of what they're sending, and you may not be conscious of what information is coming in. Or some of you may be more conscious than others. I'm hoping that part of the learning process of this podcast is sensitizing you to the idea that there is a flood of unspoken information being signaled to you all the time in communications with humans, with dolphins, with cocker spaniels, that I don't know. It's a separate issue. But with humans, there's a wealth of information. If you take advantage of it, you can accomplish so much more, you can feel so much more secure in your efforts, whether it's in business, whether it's a personal relationship, you will be so much more effective if you're paying attention to this semiotic information. When we don't have facial affect, like I say, we're at a severe disadvantage. All we can go on that's uh semiotic, obviously, the person speaking, we can hear their words. But the semiotic information that's being signaled is in the tone of their voice, in the timber of their voice, in the uh pace, the rhythm of how they're speaking, in how they react to things we say, how we react to things they say. All of these are non-spoken, non-verbal, but very, very useful, very informative. I know, I'm trying not to make this a podcast for only for millennials. I know that younger people in particular have difficulty with the phone. I won't regale you with tales I've heard of uh crazy situations. I just said I wasn't gonna regale you, and now it sounds like I'm starting to about failure to make a restaurant reservation because nobody wanted to use the phone to call. It's too intimidating. Well, obviously, of course, this is a simple problem that can be resolved easily. But rather than go into the specifics about it, I want to point out to some of my younger viewers and listeners here that if you refer to the first D in the three D's in Wilson Method, which is to determine your goal in communication, just a moment's preparation before you pick up the phone can make it so much less stressful and easy to accomplish. Now, I titled this episode phone etiquette. I guess that's accurate. Of course, I'm really talking about technique. Uh, etiquette usually refers to manners and being a proper and polite. I'm just assuming you're always going to be that way. But there's a simple solution for one problem. Many people make the mistake on a telephone call, especially if it involves business, of thinking they somehow have to blast all the info that's pertinent out all in one fell swoop. Obviously, this cannot be done successfully. It's not possible. I understand the feeling. If you realize that's what's making you anxious, that's what's making you stressed and uptight, then you can reverse engineer that, wind that down, and make it easier for you. And in the process, you'll find hugely successful. When you telephone, obviously, if it's someone you know, you don't have to worry about any of this. But if it's someone you don't know, let us say it's a cold call. You're reaching out to someone in business you've never spoken to, you've never met, then the first thing you have to do is introduce yourself. Doesn't mean you have to use your last name. You can if you feel it's appropriate. But if it's really about business, you want to identify yourself by some name and where you're calling from, what the business association, so that you can say, Hi. This is Larry Wilson calling from Wilson Method. Now that seems so obvious and so simple, but now the recipient on the other end knows a name and knows are you calling from Wilson Method? Are you calling from the IRS? Are you calling from my bank? All of these things give them some idea of what is about to take place. This is why you don't want to rush and try to vomit up everything all at once. It's too much information, it's too hard for them to process all at once. Give it to them in little pieces. You've identified who you are. Now, if you have a specific person you're trying to reach, you may want to take a breath there after introducing yourself. Because they may say, How may I help you? Who would you like to speak to? How can I connect you? Or they may not say anything. Or they might sort of go, Okay, whatever they react is fine. Then you should probably tell them who it is you're trying to reach. Uh and you can phrase it however you like. You can say, May I have Bob Jones, please? Or I'd like to speak with Bob Jones. Or um Bob Jones asked me to call. Or I'm returning Bob Jones' call, if that's the case. Or um, could you connect me, please, with Bob Jones? Any of these are perfectly acceptable. And you will find it much less stressful if you spend sixty seconds to rehearse that. I'm gonna call, they're gonna say hello, blah, blah, blah, Bob Jones Industries. I'm gonna say hi. This is Larry Wilson from Wilson Method, or whatever your name is. May I speak with Bob Jones, please? You could also condense that if you find it appropriate, but do not try to wing it. Rehearse it. Take a moment and rehearse it. You might say, Hi, Larry Wilson here calling for Bob, if that's appropriate. Now, if Bob is the only person in the company, it makes sense. But if it's a big company, you might have to say, Hi, I'm Larry Wilson calling for Bob Jones, please. Again, it's so clear. But do not dump your entire life story on the receptionist or the person answering the phone, because they more than likely don't have time to deal with you. If it's a big company, they may immediately try to, you know, reroute you to wherever you're supposed to go. If it's a small company, this I think is a golden opportunity. If it's a small company and there's one person who's the dedicated person who answers the phone who's the receptionist there, this is a glorious opportunity for you to make an authentic contact with someone. And to say, you still would introduce yourself, but if the person says, Oh, uh, Mr. Jones is in a meeting right now, uh, he'll be uh back in a half an hour. Um now they may say, they've probably been trained, they may say, Can I send you to his voicemail? You could say, sure, that's fine, although very few people these days seem to listen to voicemail. So you might say, Oh, could I give you a message to give to them? Now, at that point, they might say yes, they might say no, but it's a great opportunity to say, I'm sorry, I didn't get your name. And you say, Oh, this is Lucille. And you can say, Oh, great, thank you so much. Is that possible, Lucille? Could I leave a message that that way I know? I'm never sure about voicemail. Seems like sometimes people don't listen to it, but I know that you'll give Bob the message directly. And in talking and in connecting with someone, if the person seems relaxed, if they seem friendly, there's nothing wrong with after them saying, Oh yeah, I'm gonna leave a message, uh, Larry Wilson, and here's my number, and it's regarding whatever it's regarding. And you might say, Oh, I really appreciate that. Uh, you're in uh Seattle, aren't you? And they might say, if you know that's where they are. And I'd say, is it dumping rain there like it is here in Wichita or wherever you are? I'm not saying you have to say these exact words. I'm saying that you could speak to them like a human being, asking them about the weather, asking them if uh they have big plans for their weekend come, whatever it is. But just striking up the slightest amount of conversation that sounds normal and sounds human is likely to make them remember you the next time you call. The other biggest concern I've heard from millennials is they don't know how to end a telephone conversation. You may be surprised to find it's very easy. You say, goodbye. Now, I know some of you are going, that's the problem. I don't know when to say it. Well, you can feel, and if you practice this, you will become better and better at it. Once you have wrapped up whatever your business is. Now, I just moments ago suggested you speaking a little conversationally with him. You don't have to do that. This is Larry Wilson calling for Bob. I'm sorry, Bob's in a meeting. Can I send you to his voicemail? Uh is it possible you could take a message and make sure he gets it? This is really important that he sees it before the end of the day. Oh, okay. And they give it to you. So they've taken your number, they've taken your name, you say, I really appreciate your help. This in almost all cases will generate a reaction. They might say, You're very welcome, or no problem, or okay, or it's all good, or some other cra at which point you can then say, You've just said, I really you can say thank you, goodbye. Or you could just say great, I'll be looking forward to hearing from him soon. At which point they will reply something. Anytime you say something that instigates a reply, hopefully, when they reply, you can then say, Thank you. That's great, I appreciate it. Goodbye. That's all you have to do, just like I'm gonna do here. I appreciate you being here. I look forward to seeing you next week for another episode of How to Talk to Humans. This has been Larry Wilson. I want to thank you for spending this time with me, and I hope you found this information useful. If you're looking for more, you can find it at thewilsonmethod.com. There's a ton of stuff there. But if you want, you can even speak to me because I'm human. Send me an email at info at WilsonMethod.com because I read every single one. I hope that you'll join us next week in this continuing journey. And you'll be with me for the next episode of How to Talk to You.