How One Simple Question Can Improve Every Conversation

In this insightful episode, we explore the power of a simple but meaningful question: “What do you need right now?”

This conversation dives into how asking the right question can transform communication, strengthen relationships, and create deeper understanding—both personally and professionally.

By focusing on awareness, listening, and intention, this episode highlights how effective communication isn’t just about what you say, but how well you understand others. The question itself becomes a tool for clarity, empathy, and connection.

Whether in leadership, business, or everyday life, learning to ask better questions can lead to better outcomes.

If you’re interested in communication skills, emotional intelligence, leadership, and personal growth, this episode offers practical insights you can apply immediately.

Hosted by Larry Wilson
Produced by: Verbal Ninja Productions
Producer: R. Scott Edwards
Sponsored by: The Wilson Method

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Transcript

Larry Wilson 0:02

Hi, this is Larry Wilson, and this is How to Talk to Humans. This is the podcast that shows you how to improve your communication skills. Are you looking to get a better job? Are you looking to find a relationship? Are you trying to do things in your life that have frustrated you and eluded you so far? I can show you so easily how to change that. Now, I can only do it with humans. If you're looking to deal with vampires or zombies extraterrestrial, this is not the show for you. But if you're really looking to improve your communication skills, I can show you what I've learned in 40 years in the show business working with the biggest celebrities and superstars in the world, and their secrets are unbelievable. What I'm going to be teaching you during the course of this podcast every week are tools that you can use to communicate toward success. Hi, this is Larry Wilson. Thanks for joining me again on this episode of How to Talk to Humans. I want to ask you something. What do you need right now? Right this second. Think about that. Can you tell me? What do you need? It's quick and easy to come up with a glib answer, but it may not be really the most meaningful answer. When you think about what you need, it clarifies your goals. If you need a sandwich, if you need a raise, if you need a date, if you need a car, whatever it is, by thinking about that, it makes it much easier for you to make a plan what you want to do with your communication. In that same way, I know that there are a great many of you out there who are entrepreneurs. And like it or not, entrepreneurs have to wear many, many hats. It is not enough. Maybe you have a fantastic recipe for pizza. Well, it's great, but if you're sort of a one-man band, then you have to market the pizza. You have to handle all the business for the pizza. You have to arrange hiring and firing of employees. There's a lot you have to do that has very little to do with making pizzas. Perhaps you teach people to play guitar, or really there's no end to what it could be. Maybe you're involved somehow in uh fitness training with people to help them lose weight or get in shape. Whatever it may be, the needs become much bigger than just what your expertise is. And if you are only focused on what you need right now, you're handicapping yourself when it comes to conveying your message to your target audience. This is uh an exercise that's very easy to do, as with everything in Wilson method, very simple, but it involves thinking about what your ideal customer needs right now. It sounds so simple. Instead of thinking about what you need, it's what do they need. And the process of inquiring along those lines is engaging the act of empathy. Empathy is not sympathy, which I am quick to point out. Sympathy is when you feel sorry for someone for whatever they may be experiencing. Empathy is when we try to imagine ourselves in someone else's shoes, what they may need, what they may want, what they may be feeling, or what they may need right this minute. Because if we can identify that, if we can now, I don't want to suggest here that you have to learn how to read minds. But I can tell you this. If you practice empathy, if you practice it might be as simple as walking through the mall, looking at people, various different people, and trying to imagine what must their life be like right at this moment. What are they thinking? What are they feeling? What are they concerned with? It doesn't mean that you'll be right, but that exercise of trying to put yourself in their shoes makes you so much more open to the possibility of connecting with them. Because when you do that, you are aligning yourself with their interests. Now they may say, oh, you thought uh you wouldn't actually ever tell them that you were doing this, but you might find that you weren't exactly right, that they were thinking something or feeling something else. But what they feel from you is that you are not simply focused on what you need right now, that you're thinking of other people's needs. And that changes you from being in an adversarial relationship into being a partner with them, being an ally, being a friend. If, for example, the most obvious example I can think of, if you're a speaker or you'd like to be a speaker, if you take a moment before you go on stage and think about the audience that's out there, what little you may know. Maybe it's before a holiday, maybe it's a time of year that has a special meaning in some way. If you're thinking about them, when you hit the stage, you will notice they are more receptive to whatever your message is. And the reason for this, it's the same as I've talked about facial affect, about vocal affect, about eye contact. All these things are about creating an impression of you before you've spoken. This takes place when you practice empathy. That act, whether you really have figured out what they may feel or not, the fact that you are attempting to do it projects a quality about you that shows you are not simply thinking of yourself. And that's enormously appealing to people everywhere. Even, I would venture to say, audiences that may not speak your language. I think they can feel it. They may be able to feel it better than an audience that does speak your language, because they have nothing to go on except the silent, semiotic signals they're getting from you. Have you ever met someone and you instantly liked or disliked them? I mean, you can come up with an explanation, you can start making rationalizations and stuff, but the truth is it's something that's taking place on a nonverbal level. And of course, this is our goal is to cultivate this and develop it as technique. So it's not just uh cross your fingers and hope it's gonna work. That, of course, is the trouble with relying on talent. I'm reminded of the story about Peter O'Toole when before he was a big star, when he made this uh film for David Lean, Lawrence of Arabia. And this was a gigantic event when it was made. This is in the early 60s, and there was no CGI. When you had a battle scene in the desert with thousands of horseback riders with rifles and swords, you really had to have those riders with swords, and you had to have trained uh horsemen and you had to have stunt people, and they all had to be costumed, and you had to have armorers prepare the weapons. It was a gigantic undertaking. And David Lean had this vision for this film. I don't know how he convinced the studios to go along with it, but he did. They shot it all on location, and they hired this uh young, uh virtually unknown actor, Peter O'Toole, to play Lawrence of Arabia. And there's a gigantic scene in this film that's referred to by Lean and others as the Battle of Aqaba, when it's it's a gigantic action scene. And the story is that all the major actors were in trailers because they were on location, they were in the desert. And the first assistant director's job is to go and tell the actors when they're ready to have them on set. They've been setting up for hours and rehearsing stunts and horses and all sorts of things, pyrotechnics. The first AD goes to Peter O'Toole's trailer and knocks on the door, says, Mr. O'Toole, we're we're ready for you. And O'Toole steps out in full costume, opens the door, looks around, sniffs the air, sort of goes, No, I don't think so. Not today. And he turns and goes back in his trailer and slams the door. And the first ID is knocking over, Mr. O'Toole? Mr. O'Toole, he won't come out. So the first ID runs to David Lean, the director, and says, Mr. Lean, I don't know what to do. I went to Mr. O'Toole's trailer and he came out and he said, No, not today. I don't know. And I what are we going to do? You know, we've got these thousands of people here. And Lean said, Well, there's nothing we can do. He's not feeling it. So try to shoot what we can as inserts and second unit and try to get some shots of explosions and some horses. And we'll try again tomorrow. And then the next day they tried and everything was fine. And O'Toole came out and did this and was fantastic in the role and is enormously talented and became a huge star because of it. But that's what happens when you rely on talent. It cannot always be summoned at the snap of your fingers. But technique can be. Technique is always at your command. And that's what I teach in Wilson Method. I don't know how to teach anyone to be talented. I don't know if there's anyone who knows how to do that. But I definitely can teach you technique because technique is transferable. And so when you're thinking about what you need right now, you might serve yourself better if you spent that time thinking, what do my clients, my customers, my consumers, in whatever capacity they may be, what do they need right now? Because I guarantee you, if you can conjure up a clear image in your mind of what they need, they will be hugely successful. In fact, it's not just with business, it is in personal relationships as well. Men and women, men and men, women in women, everyone who's involved in a relationship, that act of empathizing with the other person changes the relationship. I don't mean it changes it fundamentally in terms of all elements of your relationship, but I mean in your communication that takes place in that moment, you are no longer adversarial. You can diffuse a fight in almost any situation by doing this. Because you're not thinking about what you need right now, you're thinking what do they need right now. It doesn't mean you have to provide what they want. You're not obligated in any way to fulfill other people's desires, but the process of thinking about it makes you an ally. And when an ally comes forward to discuss something, to suggest something, to convey a message, the audience is a hundred times more receptive. I think it's very valuable. I hope that you feel the same way. And if you do, please share this with your friends and family. Share it with your coworkers, share it with everyone you possibly know until everyone in this world learns to improve their communication skills. Think of what a fantastic revolution that would be. This has been Larry Wilson. I want to thank you for spending this time with me, and I hope you found this information useful. If you're looking for more, you can find it at thewilsonmethod.com. There's a ton of stuff there. If you want, you can even speak to me because I'm human. Send me an email at info at wilsonmethod.com because I read every single one. I hope that you'll join us next week in this continuing journey. And you'll be with me for the next episode of How to Talk to Humans.