2. The Weight of Being Heard: a practice of trusting yourself

Is that your brain? Your heart? Your gut? Your anxiety? That voice from your past? Our conditioning creates a cacophony of internalized voices, and learning to identify which one is actually ours becomes essential work. We explore what happens when we can't distinguish our own knowing from the chorus of inherited opinions—how small decisions based on others' guidance create direction-altering changes over time, steering us thousands of miles from where we were meant to land.

We're invited to explore the practice of hearing ourselves clearly. It's not a destination but a relationship we build with ourselves that requires time and trust. We examine why we sometimes resist our own truth (because acknowledging it requires uncomfortable changes), why the "right" answer is always contextual, and how learning to recognise The Voice That Knows gives us access to the wisdom we need to align with our sense of purpose on this earth.

✨ Key Takeaways

• We carry many internalized voices, and learning to identify which one is actually ours is essential
• Small decisions based on others' guidance can steer us off course over time
• Hearing yourself clearly is a practice—a relationship you build with yourself that requires time and trust

✍️ Journal On This

• Can you identify a time when you didn't listen to yourself, or when you listened to someone's advice based on their authority? What was the result?
• Among all the voices in your head, which one feels like home?

Resources

Download the free "Inward Voice Meditation Journey" at www.chelseaedwardson.com (scroll down to the footer) —dedicated time where you get to stop everything and listen to yourself.

Transcript

Chelsea 0:02

When I was recording my first album, I asked everyone I trusted what they thought of the songs as they were coming together. And the answers really surprised me. It wasn't so much what they said, but how every single person had a different opinion. And not just different, but contrary. It's too fast. No, it's too slow. Cut the intro. The intro is brilliant. And it really made me wonder how many small decisions we make on a day-to-day basis that are actually other people's opinions in disguise.

Naming The Voice That Knows

Chelsea 0:37

And when we make decisions that are clouded by those opinions, when we start to veer off the path with our own artistic vision, we start to ignore our truth. Because at the core, these are not just small revisions or slight directional changes. These are the footsteps to our becoming.

Chelsea 0:57

This is the Wisdom of the Voice podcast. I'm Chelsea Edwardson, and today we're uncovering the cost of silencing that part of you that knows and how to hear yourself clearly amongst the sea of voices and opinions. When to cut the intro and when to choose the brown or white rice. Let's begin.

Chelsea 1:21

Not listening to ourselves often shows up looking like a lack of confidence. We ask everyone else what they think before we check in with what we think. We second guess our instincts because someone else seems more confident. We choose the safe option even when something inside us is saying this isn't right. We automatically assume that others know better. We mistake consensus for truth.

Conditioning, Consensus, And Authority

Chelsea 1:50

And this doesn't just feed into a lack of confidence. It does something even more damaging by slowly steering us off course from who we're really meant to be. And when I say that, I mean the version of ourselves that just feels right.

Chelsea 2:05

It's the equivalent of a concept from James Clear's atomic habits, the hairpin direction change. When a plane alters its direction by a micromeasurement of an angle, and it ends up heading to a completely different destination over time, maybe thousands of miles from where it was supposed to go. Sometimes that's a beautiful surprise, but other times it's completely disorienting, confusing, and we feel it in our bones that we were really not meant to land there.

Chelsea 2:35

It can be so challenging to know which voice we need to listen to when there's so much noise. Is that my brain, my heart, my gut, my anxiety, my dad, my ex-partner, that bully in grade seven, that book I read when I was 23? Our conditioning lands us in the middle of a cacophony of voices that become internalized. So much so that we can't separate or identify which voice we even hear, and which one of those voices is even the right one to listen to. Which voice is actually ours?

Chelsea 3:10

Obviously, it's important to hear other people's opinions, to be willing to look at oneself, self-analyze, question, and might be a spiky truth here, but yes, doubting ourselves is actually a positive trait if we can balance it with a healthy dose of self-trust. But after that genuine reflection, we have to remember to come back to what is true for us, even if that truth seems to run counter to the feedback we are receiving.

Chelsea 3:38

And this can be really hard because we're taught from such a young age to defer to authority, to trust the experts, to go with what the majority says. And that conditioning can really mess with our ability to recognize the right voice. If it is true that each of us is here with a unique purpose and calling, we should be the ones to make that ultimate call on our personal truth, on our art, on our messaging, on our tone and phrasing.

The LA Panel And The Polarizing Intro

Chelsea 4:08

And while this may seem like an obvious reminder, we all fall prey to the messaging around us in big and small ways, especially in those innocuous day-to-day decisions, the ones that creep up, build up, and end us up in the cockpit of a plane that we didn't even know we were flying.

Chelsea 4:29

The universe gave me a perfect example of this at a songwriting conference in LA, one of those industry events where you learn the right way to do things to get heard. There was an opportunity where you could place your album into a big box and they would randomly draw a CD out. Then a panel of well-known big name producers would listen to your specified track in front of everyone and give feedback on how they would respond to perceiving it as a pitch in the studio.

Chelsea 4:58

My album got selected. And while I was completely anonymous in that crowd, it didn't protect me from the vulnerability. Thousands of people were about to judge something I'd created. My soul was about to be put on display.

Chelsea 5:14

The track I picked was You Do Well to Talk, which has this klezmeresque feel and it's kind of rowdy and fun, so I thought, naively, that it would be received well. But I failed to consider the super quirky intro that leads into the song. We had originally recorded this as a joke, and although I thought it was hilarious and quirky, I felt self-conscious about leaving it in the production. That is, until I brought it to my mixing engineer who fell in love with it and said, What is this? With eyebrows raised above laser beam eyes, you have to leave this intro! This is amazing! It's genius!

Chelsea 6:10

My quirky sense of humour and creative instincts were validated, and that felt amazing, having my weirdness in full force showing and seen for its brilliance. But in this moment, that all went out the window, and I returned to feeling completely self-conscious about this decision.

Chelsea 6:28

Now it just happened that a couple songs before my album got selected out of the so-to-speak hat, they'd made this big fuss about bad intros and asked the room of people to raise their hands if they thought it was boring or taking too long, or if they just straight up thought it was bad. They wanted songs to get right into it. No sonic foreplay, no Pink Floyd moments.

Chelsea 6:51

So here came my song with this intro, and what followed was rather shocking. Half the audience sprung their hands up in the air, emphatically wanting it to stop. There was even a guy who got up on top of a chair in pure desperation to show his repulse for my intro. But then the other half of the room was engaging in a completely positive way. There was a group of people who started dancing and headbanging, and while I didn't necessarily make the connection in that moment, my song was having an impact on the entire room. Everyone lifted their heads up out of their phones and was paying attention.

Chelsea 7:32

Now, as someone who already has a hard time with being in the spotlight, I was absolutely mortified. I had my two friends sitting on each side of me and I was quietly begging them not to give me away. Just don't look at me. Keep a straight face, please.

Chelsea 7:49

Thankfully, they didn't stop the track until after the first chorus, so my song still had a chance. But the panel reviews were just as intense as the response of the crowd. What the hell was that? I would have thrown this thing in the garbage. Once it got to the song, it was great and fun, but the intro was weird, and I wouldn't have made it to the good part before turning it off. Once again, I was shrinking, embarrassed. It really stung. After all, it wasn't just an intro. It was that weird, quirky part of me in my brain that was being objectified and thrown into the hypothetical garbage.

Reclaiming Vision Amid Noise

Chelsea 8:26

That rejection had so much presence and weight, and while the room may have been equally divided, that repulsive energy felt way louder than the other half that was totally digging my vision.

Chelsea 8:39

After that, I went up to my hotel room and had a big cry. And then, in that quiet, still moment, a voice started speaking to me. Clearly, authoritatively, definitively. Not my usual anxious inner chatter, but something really deep and resolute:

Chelsea 9:00

"You don't want to fit in. You don't want to sound like a song that's already on the radio. You are quirky. This is exactly the feedback you needed. People engaged with your song. They woke up. It stirred the room."

Chelsea 9:18

All of a sudden, like cold water to the face, I remembered who I was, what I was doing, and that somehow I had been hypnotized into this idea of fitting in when that was never my plan. That was never the point.

Chelsea 9:34

It's so easy to get caught up in the voices that surround us, to feel like we need to adhere to some measure of normalcy, when if we really listen to ourselves, we would hear that that measurement has nothing to do with who we are in the first place. The voice that matters, the one that knows, was trying to tell me that polarizing people isn't a misstep. It's a signpost that my coordinates are on point.

Chelsea 10:01

When we don't take time to listen deeply, we miss the cues, the synchronicities, the little nudges that over time point us toward our deepest dreams and most meaningful contributions. If I had listened blindly to one of the responses and advice given about the songs on my first album, say by taking out the horrible intro or speeding up a song, it may have not been wrong, but it may have never felt quite right to me, the creator. It may have never found its path to the people who could actually hear and celebrate my genius, who needed to hear the messages found in the nuances of who I am... through sound.

Practising Self-Trust In Daily Choices

Chelsea 10:41

Synchronicity shows you the way, and you have to be open to hearing, seeing, and identifying your truth, even when it doesn't agree with the feedback you're receiving from others. Hearing your voice and your truth is an unmistakable feeling, but it's a feeling that you must practice believing in.

Chelsea 11:18

As I'm currently writing this, I barely have an audience, just a lot of awesome supportive friends, colleagues, and clients. And yet I feel called to create, regardless of the result.

Chelsea 11:30

P.S. Can you please share this if you dig it?

Chelsea 11:34

My voice is clearly expressing to me that I must unveil the curtains to my thoughts and my work, that it is needed and necessary, and that the strength of that knowingness makes it almost impossible for me not to follow through, even when I don't know where it's leading me.

Chelsea 11:52

I trust this process because I trust my voice.

Chelsea 11:57

When you truly hear yourself, there is no mistaking it for anything else. Your voice has a feeling of resonance that cannot be confused for another, and it is that confidence in knowing that changes your ability to truly listen and follow its direction.

Chelsea 12:14

Now I realize this is easier said than done, but the reality is that it's a practice, not a destination. And hang in there because I'm going to share some practical ways you can start working with this. It's important to note that this is a relationship you are building with yourself. And just like any other relationship, it takes work and time to develop trust.

Chelsea 12:38

Sometimes, maybe more often than we'd like to admit, we don't actually want to hear ourselves. We don't want to acknowledge the message we're receiving because the acknowledgement of that message will require us to make changes or stand up for ourselves in a way that is uncomfortable and that we would rather avoid. So often we don't want to hear the real answer that we know deep down.

Chelsea 13:03

We see this all the time in our day-to-day decision making with more mundane things. We don't want to eat the brown rice with steamed veggies and no salt. We want the delicious white rice topped with butter, salt, and a fried egg. The internal debate begins. Which voice should we listen to? Which one is telling us the truth? How do we know which voice to trust?

Chelsea 13:26

You might be assuming I'm about to tell you to pick the brown rice, but the reality is there is no right answer. And that might not be what you wanted to hear. We humans love our certainty. But the truth is that the right answer is contextual and the context is yours alone.

Chelsea 13:45

We are relational beings, which means that everything is connected to everything else. We don't exist in isolation, which makes every single situation uniquely complex, filled with nuances that only you can truly understand. You know yourself more than anyone knows you in this world.

Voices Inventory: A Practical Exercise

Chelsea 14:07

And in the case of the brown and white rice, it might not be a big deal which one you choose. But you might be trying to follow a whole grain diet to lower your cholesterol, and the white rice might not be the best choice for your goals. Once in a while, choosing the butter-covered white rice is not going to pull us off the tracks too much. But too many decisions like this will start to shape our reality in an impactful, direction-altering way.

Chelsea 14:34

Ultimately, it's about recognizing what we really want. And most importantly, being able to recognize and make the choices that will move us in the direction of our fulfilled-no-regrets, proud-of-ourselves-reflection-on-our-deathbed life. Knowing that we focused on the right things for ourselves, our children, and our communities with the time that we've been given.

Chelsea 14:58

Rice is probably a pretty ridiculous example of that, but you get what I mean. And to drive the point home, it's the perfect example of my voice. Weird, quirky, full of rabbit holes, showing up as itself, hoping to connect with your smile.

Chelsea 15:16

The point is, these day-to-day choices we make, whether it's about rice or recording or even going for a run, they're all connected to something bigger. The voice holds wisdom that can be revealed to us in both this metaphorical inner way and in a physiological, sonic way, which we are going to be talking more about in future episodes. Because learning how to hear yourself, getting to know your voice in both its physical and spiritual manifestations, and honouring the information behind those voices gives us access to that wisdom.

Chelsea 15:50

Through that wisdom, we learn to understand ourselves on a deep, deep level. Through that depth, we start to align ourselves with a sense of purpose on this earth. We discover which piece of the puzzle we are, and that gives us peace and belonging, both within ourselves and within who we are collectively.

Chelsea 16:11

Truly being ourselves makes a difference in this world. It provides meaning in our lives, and it connects us to everything and everyone around us. Most amazingly, in the context of this podcast, it actually changes our physical voice too.

Chelsea 16:28

As we wrap this episode up, I want to plant a few seeds of awareness. As I mentioned earlier, we carry so many voices inside us social, cultural, familial, collective, and more. Voices that came from particular experiences or moments in our lives that impacted us, either negatively or positively.

Chelsea 16:50

Think education, think relationships, think group settings, religion, politics, gender, advertising, pop culture, workplace, anywhere that you've had to fit in.

Chelsea 17:03

Now, I want you to do a big brain dump. If you can, grab a piece of paper or just mentally do a scan and pause as needed. You're gonna start taking note of all the voices that have shaped you, which is a big job, I realize. But even just noting a few down will be helpful, so take it lightly.

Chelsea 17:21

Think of the voices that have been influential, the encouraging ones that catch you when you're falling, the judgmental ones that creep in to tell you you're not enough or perhaps too much, the voices that tend to run on autopilot, ever present in the background. Note as little or as many that come to mind easily.

Chelsea 17:42

The next step is to start identifying those voices in your daily life and asking yourself, where is this voice actually coming from? Who is saying this? Once you identify it, notice what that particular voice sounds like. Notice what your body feels in response to that sound. And then, digging a little deeper, among all these voices you carry, is there one that feels like home? Like it's actually you speaking.

Chelsea 18:14

When I was getting all that contradictory advice about my songs, underneath the confusion there was still a voice that knew what felt right and true to my vision. You have a voice that knows too. And that voice will have a quality and a tone that feels unmistakable.

Chelsea 18:32

Notice what it sounds like. You're the only one with that truth. No one else will be able to identify it. You'll know if your song is too fast or too slow. You'll know if you should keep the intro. You'll know which rice to choose.

Building Safety For Full Expression

Chelsea 18:52

In our next episode, we'll be building the scaffolding for a blanket for it, aka the structure you need to create sanctuary for your voice. We'll dig into why it's imperative to feel safe in order to open your full range of expression and biased view here, but I truly believe this is one of the most essential structures you can build to support your voice journey.

Free Inward Voice Meditation Invitation

Chelsea 19:16

Also, if you're looking for a guided process to really hear yourself and evolve your relationship with your voice, I have something for you. Go to chelseaedwardson.com and scroll down to the footer. You'll find my free inward voice meditation journey, dedicated time where you get to stop everything and listen to yourself. It's my gift to help you find that moment of stillness so that you can connect back to yourself and that place inside you that knows. You can play this recording anytime you're feeling unsettled or unsure of which voice to choose.

Chelsea 19:51

Okay, I'll see you next time. And remember, the voice that knows is there. Stop, drop, and listen, and then trust the rest.

The Music Video And A Joyful Outro

Chelsea 20:04

P.S. That song I mentioned earlier, You Do Well to Talk. I actually made a music video for it, which I produced myself. And yes, the intro is just as weird in the video. I hired a fake but real band to play all the parts. We called ourselves the Bootstompin B*%$#@&. My engineer Dave was wearing a Hawaiian print dress, and the owner of the venue came up on stage to play a conch show. I even made a composite face of a bunch of slimy real life characters, including the person who inspired the song. It was pretty awesome. I'll put the link in the show notes if they feel like having a listen and a laugh.