3. Building a Blanket Fort for Your Voice: the sanctuary your voice needs

At her first voice lesson, Chelsea arrived with years of training but couldn't make a sound when asked to sing. Her body had learned that it wasn't safe to be heard. We hear how childhood abuse in the recording studio led to a decade of hiding her voice—and what it took to find her way back.

This episode invites us to explore what safety actually means for voice. It's not just about finding the right room or the right people—it's about understanding that our voice is tender, fragile, and requires sanctuary to open. Safety is emotional, energetic, and relational. When we don't feel safe, our body literally prevents sound from coming out. We discover why building these layers of protection isn't selfish—it's essential. And why we get to choose who hears our voice, when we share it, and if we share it at all.

✨ Key Takeaways

• Our voice requires sanctuary to open—safety is emotional, energetic, and relational
• Our experience of safety shows up physically in the vocal mechanism
• Safety has three layers: the environment we create with ourselves, with others, and in the world
• You get to choose who hears your voice, when you share it, and if you share it at all

✍️ Journal On This

• Where do you feel safest expressing your voice? What makes those spaces different?
• Who in your life has earned the right to hear your most vulnerable expression?

Share

If this episode stirred something in you—made you pause, feel some clarity, or think 'yes, me too'—would you take a moment to share that in a review? Every time someone shares how this work touches them, it affirms the way courage spreads from person to person. Your words become breadcrumbs for others searching for their voice too.

Transcript

From Silence to Safety

Chelsea 0:03

Today, my voice is part of everything I do: teaching, directing, performing, recording. But there was a decade of my life when I wouldn't dare sing if I knew it was remotely possible for anyone to hear, even a whisper of my voice.

Chelsea 0:22

In the car, the music would have to drown me out, and I'd test the volume by singing to the passenger window, making sure that not even I could hear it reflect back. Sharing that part of myself was terrifying. And it wasn't because I didn't have a nice voice, it's because I didn't feel safe.

Chelsea 0:42

This is the Wisdom of the Voice Podcast. I'm Chelsea Edwardson. And today we're exploring how safety is the bedrock of vocal expression. Because if you don't feel safe, the voice just won't open, no matter how hard you try. And so today I'm teaching you how to build a sanctuary for your voice in three distinct environments because, quite simply, you deserve to feel safe.

Chelsea 1:09

A brief note before we begin. This episode contains a mention of childhood abuse. While it is brief and there are no details, I'm sharing this information so that you have agency. Please listen with care.

The Piano Becomes Sanctuary

Chelsea 1:26

Let me take you back in time. I was around five years old when my parents took me for a dinner at the community hall, where there was a pianist playing for the event. I was so captivated by the sound that I crawled over, sat beside the piano, and refused to eat. It was magnetic. There was this immediate feeling of resonance and deep knowing that this instrument was meant to be in my life. The sound was part of my soul.

Chelsea 1:58

When I got home that night, I drew a piano on the wall beside my bed. I was desperate to practice, even without a real instrument. After a lot of pleading and begging, my parents finally got me a piano and it became my sanctuary.

Chelsea 2:15

I spent hours in that piano room with the door shut, writing songs, practicing, singing, being fully myself. That sanctuary wasn't just about music and creative exploration. It was the foundation that allowed my voice to open and take shape. It was where I could release my feelings, process the complexity happening around me, and where I could witness myself, my hurt, my longing, and the depth of my experiences.

Safety Shattered and Silence

Chelsea 2:45

It was where I started to transform these stories into songs. Songs about my parents' divorce, songs about not fitting in, songs about children of war. In that sanctuary, I was building life rafts that carried me safely through a landscape of big feelings. And there I built a world I could depend on, regardless of what was happening out there. That room became the foundation that carried my songs out into the world to share with others.

Chelsea 3:17

But then something happened that shattered that safety. At the age of ten, I started recording my songs with a musician that had a studio in his house. He wanted to work with me to help me develop and produce my ideas. For a couple of years I went there to record my vulnerable original songs, but as I got older, I began to understand that his motives weren't rooted in helping me with my music. He was abusing me.

Chelsea 3:45

By age twelve, what had happened started to sink in, and I made a decision that would shape the next decade of my life. I shut down my voice to the world. No one heard my voice anymore. Not my closest friends, not my family, not even the boyfriend that I lived with for a year. As I mentioned earlier, I'd make sure that my voice couldn't even reflect back to me when singing underneath loud music in the car.

Chelsea 4:15

While I still continued writing songs to process my experiences, they weren't meant to be shared. The story that I had internalized was that opening my voice to others also opened the possibility of being taken advantage of and harmed.

Chelsea 4:31

I share this because it shows how profoundly our sense of safety affects our voice. And I know I'm not alone in this. Whether it's abuse or simply being told you're too much or not enough, most of us have been shut down by someone who made us feel unsafe to express our unguarded self.

Numb Careers and a Creative Call

Chelsea 4:52

Music became a hidden part of my identity, so much so that even I had forgotten its core function of my being.

Chelsea 5:01

In my early twenties, I was getting the prerequisites needed to become a medical radiographer while working night shifts as a laptop technician. Not exactly what I had imagined in my piano sanctuary, but nevertheless.

Chelsea 5:15

Instead of creating melodies on keyboards, I was repairing motherboards and getting bored, and I was starting to realize that I'd probably end up becoming bored of X-rays and CT scans too.

Chelsea 5:27

Ironically, the dullness had sparked a reminder of my creative core, and so I started to explore this idea during the wee hours of the night when I had stillness and safety.

Chelsea 5:39

One night, I found myself scrolling through university websites, looking at all the possible creative careers that could take me out from under the fluorescent lights. Florist, wedding planner, interior designer, photographer.

Chelsea 5:54

And then I saw it. A music program. I actually laughed out loud. People go to school for music? It seemed ridiculous. Easy. I closed the browser, but it didn't take long before the butterflies in my stomach brought me back to the page.

Turning Back, Then Showing Up

Chelsea 6:12

Within hours, I knew music would be what I'd do for the rest of my life. I called my loved ones at five in the morning to declare my destiny, and I stayed up until the university was open. I arranged for a meeting that day and drove two hours into the city to meet with the dean. And by noon, I was signed up for my first course and had joined the choir.

Chelsea 6:35

But signing up was one thing. Actually showing up was terrifying. I remember driving to my first choir practice and turning around halfway there, like I genuinely did a U-turn on the bypass. What if somebody heard me? What if they asked me to sing alone? It had been so long, what if I started reading the score upside down?

Chelsea 6:58

My first private voice lessons were even more challenging. I was definitely required to sing alone, and to make matters worse, there was a window to the office where my lessons were held. I remember hoping to God that when I finally had enough nerve to produce a sound, no one would walk past and see or hear me. It was almost impossible for me to open up in that space.

Chelsea 7:22

It took a lot of courage, a lot of patience, and a lot of inner conviction to stay steady in this journey. No matter how hard it was to make that second U-turn, or how many lessons it took to sing my first note, I felt an undeniable calling, like that piano at the community dinner. This was my path back home, back to my sanctuary, back to myself. And I was going to walk this path no matter what.

Seeking Voice Beyond Classical

Chelsea 7:52

Fast forward to 27 years old. I finished my first music degree, but I still had more to explore on the voice. And although studying classical music had been transformative in ways, it left a lot to be desired in really understanding my voice and its depth. I wanted to know how other cultures approach vocal expression. And so I applied to do my graduate work in a field called ethnomusicology, the study of music in its cultural context, kind of like anthropology for music.

Chelsea 8:24

The summer before my courses started, I decided to follow a good friend to Bali, Indonesia, to see how she approached field work and to get a sense of what my next chapter would look like. She connected me with the vocal legend Ni Nyoman Candri, and I showed up nervously with my pocket dictionary to my first lesson at her house.

Learning to Sing in Bali

Chelsea 8:44

She gestured me to the Bali, an open-sided pavilion often used as a gathering space for social and ceremonial activities. She sat in front of me and without warning, she began singing with her loud, powerful voice. She didn't need to use words to invite me. It was clear that I was to participate and start singing along with her, following the pitch, shape, tone, and energy of her voice. Never mind all the kids, family members, and chickens curiously mulling about, waiting to hear my voice.

Chelsea 9:28

After a courageous breath and a few full starts, I joined in and we sang together. In fact, all we did was sing together. A simple process of mimicking and repetition. Her emotions lent themselves to me. She shared anger, sadness, and curiosity through an embodied transmission. Her facial expressions, her gestures and supporting movements flowed in tandem with her voice.

The Core Truth: Safety First

Chelsea 10:06

It felt natural. There was never any judgment, just practice. And somehow, miraculously through this simple process, I felt safe.

Chelsea 10:20

This method of exploring the voice opened me in a way that I had never experienced, which led me to question everything that came before it. What was working here? Why? And how? The entire journey from the sanctuary to the Bali revealed the answer. What is really at the heart of vocal expression isn't just technique or exercises or pushing through fear. It's about safety. And everything comes down to creating the right conditions for the voice to feel safe enough to come out and play.

Chelsea 10:54

And remember, the physical voice is just one form of voice, as we explored in episode one. Safety is essential for all expressions of voice, whether speaking truth, sharing creativity, or expressing emotions. Feeling safe is the foundation that makes it all possible.

Three Layers of Safety

Chelsea 11:15

So with that, let me walk you through my three-layer framework that you need to build your personal creative sanctuary, or as the episode title suggests, a blanket for it for your voice.

Chelsea 11:28

The first layer of safety starts with the environment you create with yourself. It's imperative that you feel safe enough with yourself in order to explore your voice. In this space, you're identifying all those internal voices that have been part of your conditioning. The critic, the censor, the internalized voices of people from your past, and you identify them so that you can work with them rather than against them.

Chelsea 11:58

You know those immediate responses that pop up when you try and be kind to yourself? Julia Cameron, author of The Artist's Way, calls them blurts, the instant critical commentary that shows up the moment you attempt self-encouragement. I'm proud of how I handled that situation, gets met with, yeah, right, you totally mess that up. So stupid. These blurts are voices you've learned. And even though they don't ask kindly, they want to be heard too.

Chelsea 12:28

When you create safety internally, you can actually dialogue with them and understand where they come from and develop compassion for all parts of yourself.

Chelsea 12:40

The second layer of safety is the relational environment you create. This means being intentional about who you share your voice with and in what capacity. Not everyone deserves to hear your most vulnerable expression. Not everyone has earned the right to witness your creative process. You get to choose who hears your voice, when you share it, and if you share it at all.

Chelsea 13:07

Sharing your voice freely with the wrong people can be detrimental, damaging, and unsafe. I learned this the hard way. But I also learned that when you find the right people, those who can hold space for your expression without judgment, real magic happens.

The Physiology of Feeling Safe

Chelsea 13:26

The third layer of safety moves you into the realm of public visibility to share your voice and vision. Here is where you bring your voice into manifestation, where you use it to create change, where you contribute your unique piece of the puzzle. This means stepping into spaces where you will be seen, heard, and judged by strangers, where you're vulnerable to criticism, misunderstanding, and rejection.

Chelsea 13:52

This is why it's the third layer. The foundation underneath needs to be strong enough to support it. This often feels like the scariest environment, but it's also the one that amplifies your voice in ways that really impact and ripple out into the world. It's where you start to see how your puzzle piece contributes to the whole picture. And because you're exposing your voice to a greater number of people, including those who have no investment in your success or emotional well-being, it requires the courage to know your voice matters, regardless of the response.

Chelsea 14:27

It's a risk. Sometimes the response is loud and aggressive. Sometimes your voice will be embraced and celebrated. And sometimes there's no response. Your voice still matters.

Chelsea 14:42

Now, exploring the idea of safety might feel a bit conceptual and abstract when it comes to the physiology of the voice, but hear me out. There is a tangible and direct correlation between the science and the spirit of how safety or lack of it shows up physically in the voice.

Trust, Practice, and Belonging

Chelsea 14:59

See, the voice we hear is merely a byproduct and a result of what's happening underneath. It reflects your inner world through sound. When we don't feel safe, for example, our larynx tightens, our pharynx constricts, we disconnect from our power, staying small and quiet, fearful that our full expression might be too intense for others. When we feel safe, we relax and the voice follows suit. The throat opens, the breath flows, the resonance expands, and your voice emerges naturally, honest, and unguarded.

Chelsea 15:39

The simple takeaway here is that a safe voice can open, an unsafe voice contracts. And while that may be simple, it is also complex and profound.

Four Actions to Build Sanctuary

Chelsea 15:53

Today I perform daily. I use and share my voice in all kinds of scenarios, stages, studios, even on top of glaciers. And I still feel shy, uncertain, nervous. A whole range of feelings. But the difference is that I trust myself to shape whatever comes out into what needs to be expressed.

Chelsea 16:16

This didn't happen because I got certificates or degrees. It happened because I learned to create sanctuary for my voice. It happened because I gifted myself the time and space to listen. Because I gave myself permission. Because I learned how to be gentle with myself. Because I built, and am continuing to build, a deeper connection with who I am.

Chelsea 16:43

Voice work at its core is a spiritual act. With the primary intent to create connection, to embrace the wholeness in ourselves and others. When you bring awareness to these layers of safety, you become able to see everything that is part of you. The beautiful and the painful, the powerful and the tender, where you feel belonging.

Chelsea 17:10

And let me say it again, you can only do this when you feel safe.

Chelsea 17:16

And let me add that this is also why, no matter how good a voice coach may be, the one that will be best for you will be one that you can rest with, knowing that your voice is being held with the most tender and fierce respect.

Chelsea 17:33

As we near the end of this episode, I'd like to invite you to consider four small actions you can take today to start building sanctuary for your voice.

Chelsea 17:43

1. Start by becoming aware of what you need. And I mean what you need as a human being who feels loved and accepted by others. Take a pen to paper and write down everything that comes to mind. Think encouragement, acknowledgement, witnessing, validation, empathy, cheerleading, and handholding. The only rule is ask your judgment to sit this one out. Your needs aren't weaknesses. They're human.

Chelsea 18:16

2. Create rituals that support your voice. Perhaps you can commit to morning pages when you write without censoring. Or perhaps you give yourself permission to speak freely without anyone listening. Or maybe you just choose one person this week who makes you feel safe to express yourself and spend more time with them.

Chelsea 18:40

3. Simply notice. Notice when your throat tightens. Notice when you hold back what you really want to say. Notice the environments where your voice feels free versus where it contracts. Notice where you feel safe to let go of emotion, where the body starts opening. Where are you? Who are you with? Your voice is constantly giving you information about your sense of safety, showing you where you need more support, where you need better boundaries, and where you may need to be more gentle with yourself. Where you need to spend more or less time. Your voice holds all these cues.

Chelsea 19:22

4. Be patient with yourself. Remember my story. It took time before I could make a sound. That's okay. Your voice has its own timeline too. The beautiful thing about creating sanctuary for your voice is that it's a practice, not a perfect. Each time you honor what you need to feel safe, you're building trust with yourself. And that trust becomes the foundation for everything that moves through you.

Closing Reflections and Invitation

Chelsea 19:53

In the next episode, we'll take a stroll down the road to explore where your voice intersects with truth and what happens when you stop performing and letting authority outweigh your wisdom.

Chelsea 20:06

And if this episode stirred something in you, if you recognize your own story of having your voice shut down, or if you felt permission to create more safety for yourself, I'd love to hear about it. Please leave a review and share what resonated. Your story might be exactly what someone else needs to hear too. Until next time, remember, you deserve to feel safe, and so does your voice. Because your voice is you... just sayin’!)

Chelsea 20:35

And ps: I didn’t just draw a piano on the wall next to my bed, I also drew one next to my toilet. I was clearly obsessed.