Sensual Being
A podcast hosted by Jolene, tapping into your inner wildness, and how you connect with yourself, others and the world around you.
With 20 years experience teaching woman to pole dance, an addiction to Yoga, and a desire to connect with animals and be in nature, Jolene will unlock parts of your soul you didn't know needed unlocking.
This postcast covers many topics including; confidence, intimacy, kink, intentions, and becoming more aware of how we see ourselves.
Sensual Being
Ep 91 - Unlocking Your Inner Wild Woman
Ever questioned why society often nudges us to conceal our wild, untamed selves? Join me as we embark on a fascinating journey into the realm of feminine archetypes, with a spotlight on the enigmatic "wild woman." As we challenge societal norms, like the ubiquitous use of makeup, we’ll explore how early influences and cultural conditioning shape our identities. By sharing personal stories and insights, this episode encourages a celebration of our primal essence and urges us to reclaim the freedom and joy that come with it.
Discover the transformative power of rewilding as we delve into grounding rituals and practices that align with natural cycles, from moon phases to seasonal shifts. Our conversation opens pathways to rediscovering a deeper connection with our bodies and the earth, embracing the magic of nature through dance, storytelling, and even walking barefoot. We’ll explore diverse practices to harmonize with the world around us, celebrating the wild and rewilded facets of our being. Let’s break free from societal expectations and embrace the vibrant, sensual energy of our true selves.
- If you would like to connect further you can find me on Instagram @jolenesensualbeing
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I hope you enjoy your day.
Jolene
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Hello and welcome to the Sensual being podcast with myself, your host, jolene Whiting. I have been a pole dance teacher for nearly 20 years. I'm also a yoga instructor and my favorite pastimes are connecting to my own sensuality, connecting with the world and connecting with animals as well. In this podcast, you'll find new and inventive ways of how you see yourself, connecting yourself with others, and also how you see and view the world around you. In this episode today, we are going to be exploring one of my favorite, favorite feminine archetypes. Let's jump in together. Hello, sensual being, and welcome. Thank you so much for honoring me with your presence today. I truly appreciate you. Thank you so much for being a part of this podcast. It means a lot.
Speaker 1:Today's topic is going to be very interesting to see where this lands for you, because we are all on very different cycles within our lives. We're all on very different journeys, but this is also something which is very, very poignant within all of us. So I wanted to be talking about one of the feminine archetypes from the Jungian studies. So his studies show that there are these seven archetypes within all of us women. So you've got maiden, mother wise, the huntress, lover, the queen, but I've left one off because the one I've left off is the one that I would really like to wild women within. And if you, maybe you've done some work on shadow work within the wild women already. Maybe you haven't, maybe you've never really thought of these archetypes. And it's not to say, for example, with the maiden, that is quite a young, creative energy, energy that doesn't mean to say that when you're older, you are not her anymore, you are still her, but it's also to say that when you are in a younger phase of life, that you are not the wise, the elder or the mother. We have all of these gifts within us that we can harness, and you'll find that you'll probably call on all of these at different points throughout the day. Yeah, so it's not just at one point in your life, but the reason why I wanted to deep dive into the wild woman.
Speaker 1:Now I am not going to cover all of this. It's impossible because you will have your own things that you can give to me and go hey, jolene, you never mentioned, and then you'll tell me something that I didn't mention. This is much bigger than you or me put together, but I would like to tackle the topic anyway, because it really does fuel me. It fuels me so much because, within the patriarchal society, women have been silenced. We have been dumbed down, we have been silenced. When you go back to the witch burners Now, I know it wasn't only women that got burnt as a witch Men did too, but predominantly it was women. And that's where my focus is with this today.
Speaker 1:So if you are a guy who's listening to this, you might think, yeah, well, I've got sort of what she's saying, I've got this wildness and the things I describe. Later on you might think, well, I've got them too. Yeah, you do. You do as well. Because at the end of the the day, we have all been dumbed down in some sort of way to make us conform. But I really want to unleash more of our inner wild. I really really do, because, do you know why? Because it's so much fun and it's so freeing. It really really is.
Speaker 1:So why are we continuing to let certain types of social programming dumb us down? Certain conditioning Now, some conditioning is very good, because I'm all for the fact that we've been conditioned, most of us to go forward with love and kindness. You know so we're making the world a better place, you know. So you can't fault conditioning it's there are good parts of it. But what is conditioning and social programming in your life? Can you start to unravel it? And when you start to unravel it, there's more and then there'll be more, and then there'll be more. You'll think I'm done and then there'll be more and then there'll be more. You'll think I'm done and then there'll be more. So things are programming.
Speaker 1:You might be thinking, well, I'm not really sure what she means by that. Right, if you're a woman, do you wear makeup? Why? Why do you? Now, this is deep. This is a very, very deep topic. So I was an 80s child. I was born in 81. So a lot of my real kind of coming into young adulthood was in the 90s. Now, if you grew up in the 90s, you knew what that was like. Yeah, yeah. Do you remember Chris Evans getting posh spice on the scales and saying, oh, let's see if you bounce back after having your baby, and things like that? And it was very geared around. How you looked, how we, how we looked in the world meant a lot to a lot of us because it was survival. Now, now, the wild woman, she's got that inner primalness. So let's not dumb down the fact that we were all trying to survive, and we still are, and we still are.
Speaker 1:Makeup has been a fascinating one, and the time that it really really got to me, like when I really sort of thought huh, hang on a minute, what's going on here in my mind was during 2020, when a lot of people were working from home because they couldn't go into the office and there were so many posts up on social media and they were all along the lines of huh, don't have to go in the office, that means I don't have to wear makeup. And I'm like of huh, don't have to go in the office, that means I don't have to wear makeup. And I'm like hang on a minute, well, who are you wearing it for? And then, whilst I uncovered that bit for myself, because that didn't affect me in that way, but then I also thought about myself and I thought, oh, why am I wearing it? And I remember I think it was about three years ago and I was in Brighton with my partner and I even said to him it was a hot day and I couldn't really be bothered to do my makeup and he was absolutely fine, but I sort of blurted out to him in my own frustration inside me nothing to actually really to do with him, but my own inner frustration of showing up in the way that has always been expected of me, because I've put that out there and I was like it has to be enough the way I am, because I don't want to have to wear makeup.
Speaker 1:And I was really going through this phase of wanting to sort of detoxify myself from makeup and and then I've kind of gone full circle again, like sometimes I wear it, sometimes I don't, and it doesn't bother me in the same way, because I think I really try to detach from it. And then, when I've come back to it, the times I I do wear it, I really enjoy it. But I don't just enjoy it. I enjoy it because I kind of feel like, oh, you know well, I'm a goddess and I'm going to make the most of my vessel. Whilst I've got it, I'm going to adorn it with tattoos and makeup and I would like to get some piercings again. And I've kind of come to there, you know, when I think of like the goddesses that got adorned in beautiful attire and things like that, and I'm like, oh, I want a little bit of that that sounds fun, but it's coming from a different place. It's not coming from a place of everyone's expecting this of me.
Speaker 1:So makeup for me was a huge one. A huge one because I've been doing it for so long. You know, my mum used to wear makeup when I was a child, so I grew up seeing her do her makeup and I always wanted to be a part of that, because I love my mum and I wanted to be like my mum, you know. So I borrowed her eyeshadows when I was really little and I painted them all over my face like I was some scary monster. But I thought I looked hot. I had no idea what I was doing, you know.
Speaker 1:But this programming and conditioning is right in us. We have to be very, we have to really use our discernment in this world for what we are doing. I mean nails. I used to love having my nails red all the time and I stopped doing that. Now I do them every now and again, and when I do them I'm like, oh, check me out. But also I've just started playing the guitar and ukulele over the last few months. So your nails, they're shot to shit. So for about a year and a half ago I tackled the nails one and the other one that I really want to tackle is, if you see my profile pictures, you see I've got red hair. I've had red hair for about 20 years and I I kind of want to go back to like my normal color.
Speaker 1:But you also might be thinking that the wild for you is actually to dye your hair. Maybe you've never dyed your hair or dyed it a bright color, but you wanted to. Maybe that is going wild for you. Maybe you don't wear much makeup, but you want to. Maybe it's the other way. This is why I said at the start this will land differently for all of us, but is there a like, a yearning, a way of being inside of you that wants to come out that you haven't really let yourself explore, because it's not the way you do things and have done things, so the etiquette and how we are as well. This is where the wildness within us can be very pushed down, and it also goes further into like even being quiet or meek. You know we don't need to go around like a banshee shouting everywhere. I'm not saying that, but it's. Are you speaking up for yourself? Are you saying no? When you mean no, where is that line for you?
Speaker 1:So wild doesn't necessarily mean that you are unhinged and absolutely crazy, but some people have a little bit more of a wild spirit than other people. I mean, you might think that Phoebe's character in Friends is wild because she's just that little bit. Well, you know, I just do what I want kind of thing, and I don't care what other people think. That is an essence of wildness, because you're not worried about the judgment from other people and this is such a big thing in our lives. And again it comes back to survival. And why shouldn't it? I want you to survive and I want me to survive. So there is a balancing act.
Speaker 1:Wild can be deemed as witchy as well, and witchy oh, I mean, that term can be taken in so many ways. The one thing you shouldn't take from this is that it's an insult, because it certainly isn't. But someone might think, oh, you're a bit witchy or something a bit out there or just doing things a bit different, and that that's okay. But it's being able to embrace that side of you. If there is a part of you that has been dormant for a few years, or maybe you do embrace it, but no one knows. It's a bit like the people who have been pole dancing with me before and then they don't tell anybody. They're like, oh yes, I just go dancing or I'm just going to the gym. That's what I tell my friends and I'm like, wow, okay, so you're, you know, you you're even too scared to tell people that you know what you're doing, and I find that is fascinating.
Speaker 1:But again comes back to survival and I kind of feel, with wild, this in my head, it jumps over to rewilding yourself. Now, this there isn't a lot of overlap, but I think they are slightly different. So where I said before, wild to you might be not wearing makeup or it might be wearing makeup. So you see the differences there. But it also when you go to rewilding. To me that's like a real big connection to nature, to earth, to the elements, to the seasons. So rewilding to me is almost like going to simpler food, maybe, or simpler living, or maybe you watch less TV and read more books, or maybe you go for walks outside more in your lunch instead of scrolling on social media. You know, rewilding has almost like its own turn of phase compared to releasing the wild women within you, but they are very, very close and they really do intertwine with each other, which is why I wanted to group them both together on this episode.
Speaker 1:So how can we rewild ourselves? And the first one 10 points. If you guess this right, what do you think I'm going to say? As women, hint hint, connecting to our moon cycle, connecting to our period, our menstrual flow, connecting to the energy around it, the physical act of it and this is a hard one to embrace the pain. If you get pain and a lot of the time, even I found this when I embrace the pain, I get less of it and I'm like whoa, this is okay, this is weird. How is embracing pain now getting rid of it? But when you embrace something, most of the time you relax, you breathe into it. This changes it.
Speaker 1:Now a lot of women, myself included, used to be always on some sort of birth control pill. I can't go back and change things, so I'm definitely careful on when I use the word regret, because everything I feel that's happened in my life has led me to where I am right now and I wouldn't change this moment talking to you for anything else, but I do regret how much birth control I was on. It was the best thing for me at the time. I was 15 when I went on the pill, but I went on it predominantly the first, number one reason was because they were so painful, so painful, beyond painful, and I remember that pain and I have had that pain again since coming off it as well. I know that pain and it's, you know, for your parents to see you in so much pain. I mean, what does that do to parents? So my parents did the best they could at that time. So the option was and it worked, made my periods really regular and it didn't cause me anywhere near the amount of pain thing does to you putting hormones into your body like that.
Speaker 1:I would like to have thought that I would have thought differently. But also a lot of my spiritual awakening and changing within myself or evolving, whatever word you want to pick has happened in the last like oh, uh I'm gonna say a big chunk of it between five and ten years. Between five and ten years has been a big lot of spiritual awakening within me. So maybe even if I had the tools back then when I was 15, I maybe still would not have done it. So I'm very careful about using the word regret. But as I have come now, uh, I'm trying to think how long have I not been on any birth control? Nine years, nine years, I'm guessing about nine years and it took a while for my body to sort itself out. And there are still times when I bleed and it really hurts, but it's only been in the recent couple of years.
Speaker 1:I've tried not to take anything for it and that's been really hard to actually sit with the pain. One of the biggest tips I can give you apart from hot water bottles which, yeah, you're women, you know but breathe, breathe light into your womb space and relax as you breathe out. And it sounds so cliche and I bet no one does this Ask the universe for help. Because sometimes when I've been really desperate, I've asked the universe out loud. You can ask to yourself, but ask out loud and it's amazing, within seconds that's even worked and the pain has subsided. Coincidence, who knows? I don't know, but what I'm saying is connecting in. It isn't always easy because you might be so busy out at work I mean, who's got like a few hours to go sit on the sofa and be with it. I do understand. There are times when I know you're going to opt for taking painkillers, and I'm I'm not here to judge you, because I'm not saying I'll never do it again, because I probably will, but I try not to. It's trying. It's being aware now.
Speaker 1:Also, a lot of the time with our flow cycle we can be so negative about it and it's taken a lot of convincing with my mum. Obviously she went through menopause like years ago. But you know, when I said to her, oh yeah, I'm on, and she goes oh, it's like it's always bin day, it's your, you know, it's always always comes around so quickly. I love the analogy. It was always like bin day. You know, it's always bin day. Put out your bins, um, but yeah, it's. And I'm like no, mum, it's fine it. No, no, honestly it, it is okay. I'm happier that it's all working down there.
Speaker 1:And I try to reframe how my partner even talks about it. He goes oh, are you broken yet? You know, if he's asked, are you on yet? Because he knows I'm due on or something, and I'm like, can we not use that term? Am I broken yet? I would argue that if I'm not on and I'm late, then I'm more broken. But you know I'm not broken. So to try and change the terminology around it, it can be really, really difficult, but I honestly feel that that gives a better connection to yourself as a whole being one.
Speaker 1:No, this is getting a little bit into ritual blood magic and things like that now, but with your period one of the things that has changed it a lot for me particularly my connection to nature, which I just love banging on about is when I have offered my blood to the earth, that since the day I did that there was like a switch that went off in my head that all of a sudden this connection to the earth just suddenly increased like tenfold. And it was bizarre. I hadn't and I didn't really make that connection like to what I had done, to that feeling that had happened. But over the next few days after, that feeling didn't go away. And then I managed to put it back to that and I thought, oh, was that because I made like such a incredible sacred offering to the earth that she is now giving something back to me like this connection. You might be shaking your head and think, oh, she's off on one again, but I, honestly, I, honestly, I, I wouldn't share it with you if it wasn't such a potent part of my journey.
Speaker 1:Now, everybody's journey is different and there's other rituals that people do with our blood which, personally, I haven't tried yet, like people tried painting pictures with them. Haven't tried that, not yet anyway. Um, yes, I have drawn uh symbols on my face with it. Yes, I have done that, but connecting to it in such a radical and wild way makes you feel really different, even if no one's there. It's not about taking a picture and putting up on social media. This is between you and your inner wildness. This is such a personal journey.
Speaker 1:And if you don't have a cycle, for whatever reason like or maybe you are on birth control and you just don't get that cycle you might be able to either feed into certain fields in the month and think, okay, I am still having a cycle, but it's obviously not not blood, so you might be able to feed into it that way, or you can actually feed into the phases of the moon. So when the moon is in the dark moon, in theory that is when you are on, and the new moon is when you were just coming out of being on and then when you've got the element of the full moon, that's you in ovulation. So, if you want, you could really tune into the moon's energies, and to do that means that, pretty much on a real generic idea of this is, when it's a new moon or dark moon, slow down, go inward, maybe journal more, meditate more. When it's a full moon, this is a time for more energy. So maybe more going out, maybe it's more sex in your life, whatever way that happens for you. More sex in your life, whatever way that happens for you. So it's tuning into the moon cycle rather than your own inner moon cycle, but actually making that yours. So if you've gone through menopause, this is a brilliant way to still keep in with the cycle because, don't forget, we are not designed to be on like 100% full moon ovulation energy all the time. So we do still need, even when we've gone through menopause, to actually sink into ourselves at different times of the month and then go full force when we feel like it. And it's okay if that energy goes up and down, but it's allowing ourselves the permission to go with that energy. But it's allowing ourselves the permission to go with that energy.
Speaker 1:You can also find that you connect into the season of the year for rewilding as well. So if you're listening in real time. We are just coming into springtime. We are just getting a little bit closer every day to come into springtime and that brings with it new creative energy with it. But then as we go into autumn, we descend into winter. We are starting to shed layers of what we don't want to do coming into winter, and we can. I've talked a lot about linking in with the seasons and other episodes as well, but that is such a prominent part of our journey of rewilding and also to allow it to sink in with the season of your life. So whilst I said that you've got all of these feminine archetypes within us, you will probably find that, on a generic sense, that if you are younger and in your 20s, you're going to have more maiden energy. And when you are kind of maybe in your 40s, you're going to have more maiden energy, and when you were kind of maybe in your 40s, you got a bit more mother energy. And then when you go older than that, you probably got a bit more crone. But it doesn't mean to say that you don't have that at any other point in your life. But you can really sink into that a bit further. A bit further Other ways of actually rewilding yourself is to get your bare feet on the earth.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you knew I was going to say that. How about going out for the sunrise or the sunset Magical times of the day? I'm such a sunrise fan, I absolutely love them. My middle name is Dawn, so maybe I'm growing into my name and I'm not going to lie to you. I don't like getting up early. I hate it, but there's nothing better than a sunrise. It's honestly just magic, absolute magic. But sunset as well, absolute magic. Connecting in within the kitchen, within your food, to using seasonal fruit, veg and herbs. Seasonal baking different times of year calls for like different things to be made. Sinking into it that way as well. That's a great way to rewild yourself.
Speaker 1:Going outside, looking up at the moon, of course, looking at the moon, looking at the stars maybe getting there's that app you can get for your phone to actually look at the different constellations in the sky and actually map them out. Maybe even log them at different times of the year, but log them your way and what you're getting from those constellations? Maybe you're getting messages from them and just spending more time in natural nature as much as you can, and sometimes we have to improvise. If you see a dandelion growing out of a little bit of concrete, praise it, because that little dandelion is resilient. There is nature everywhere. If you can get yourself out into beautiful mountains and forests and fields and things, you're even better. But if you can't, don't worry. There is, honestly, nature everywhere and we need to be there to egg it on and praise her, because Mother Nature is phenomenal.
Speaker 1:But I honestly feel like talking to you about this really, really sets something off in me and I absolutely love it. I kind of want my a lot of events I've got in my head going forward. They have this wildness about them, sensual, edgy, primal feeling about them, like dancing around the fire, dancing naked around a fire, things like that, painting mud on our faces or I just I love this. Or even telling stories around a fire pit. That I just find would be magic, forest bathing and really going out into some woods and just taking the time, not going for a walk but being there and taking time all together, all as a ritual, really connecting us and grounding us into earth energy. I really see that that is a big part of my future primal, sensual events, whatever that means. I think I've just described a load of them there, but you know, things like sleeping out under the stars and stuff like that, oh, oh, it's just so juicy. I just I can't wait. I can't wait.
Speaker 1:I really hope this has landed so well for you, because there's so much in there and it's about doing it your way. Enhancing, releasing, unleashing the wild women within yourself is something that we can all do more of. We so can, and also rewilding ourselves. And what does that mean to you? Feel free to get in touch, share your insights, your fascinations with me, because I just I love hearing all these things from different people, because we come together and it makes the world a much better place. As always, remember to lead through your life with your heart and to live with intention. Thank you so much for tuning in today. If you enjoyed this episode, please do share it with your friends and on social media. If you have the time to rate or review this podcast, I'd be ever so grateful. If you'd like to follow me on Instagram, you can find me at Jolene Sensual Bean. The links to my YouTube and to sign up to my mailing list will be in the show notes as well. I look forward to speaking with you again very soon.