Sensual Being
A podcast hosted by Jolene, tapping into your inner wildness, and how you connect with yourself, others and the world around you.
With 20 years experience teaching woman to pole dance, an addiction to Yoga, and a desire to connect with animals and be in nature, Jolene will unlock parts of your soul you didn't know needed unlocking.
This postcast covers many topics including; confidence, intimacy, kink, intentions, and becoming more aware of how we see ourselves.
Sensual Being
Ep 93 - What If Darkness Is a Gateway to Your True Light?
Discover the profound balance of light and darkness in our spiritual journeys in this deeply reflective episode. Join me, Jolene Whiting, as I share personal experiences of navigating vulnerability, energy management, and the ways we can integrate these dualities in our lives. We delve into essential topics, such as how life's struggles can serve as meaningful teachers, illuminating the path toward our authentic selves.
Through heartfelt storytelling, I encourage the embrace of both shadow and light, inviting listeners to find strength in their challenges while nurturing self-love. The podcast explores how ancestral patterns influence our spiritual experiences and reminds us of the importance of grounding ourselves after intense spiritual work. Our conversations encourage not just self-reflection but also compassion towards others who may be navigating their darkness.
As we come together in this journey of healing, I invite you to actively engage with your own energy and seek connection with those who inspire you. The episode ends with a powerful reminder to hold space for both your light and darkness and to lead your life with intention and heart. Don't miss this opportunity for growth—tune in and let’s illuminate the path together!
- If you would like to connect further you can find me on Instagram @jolenesensualbeing
- You can sign up to my mailing list here: Sensual Being Mailout
- My Youtube channel: SensualBeingJolene
I hope you enjoy your day.
Jolene
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Hello and welcome to the Sensual being podcast with myself, your host, jolene Whiting. I have been a pole dance teacher for nearly 20 years. I'm also a yoga instructor and my favorite pastimes are connecting to my own sensuality, connecting with the world and connecting with animals as well. In this podcast, you'll find new and inventive ways of how you see yourself, connecting yourself with others, and also how you see and view the world around you. In today's episode, we look into what is darkness and what is the light, and also how to integrate back into the real world after spiritual rituals. Hello, you wonderful, wonderful sensual being, and thank you so much for joining me with your presence today. I hope this podcast finds you well.
Speaker 1:I know we have just tipped over into in bulk, which means we will start to see the signs of springtime is coming. I know it might not be here just yet if you're listening in real time, but she is on her way. The days are starting to get lighter and longer. We are starting to see signs of new growth. So long as we remember to look for them, they are there.
Speaker 1:I know some of us struggle during this time and I think the winter months really encourage us to go inward quite a lot and I haven't actually been showing up much online. And not only have I been going quite inward, I have found that there have been quite a lot of things in my life that have either caused a lot of hurt, a lot of distress, a lot of upset, and I've been working through that. And I mean, I might be one of these people one day to film myself crying and then put that on a reel to show. I go through this too. But when I'm in those sort of times of being upset, I'm just not that person. I find I really close off and I really go inward to myself and seek the support of those who are really close to me. So the online space is not the space for that in my world, but everybody everybody goes through this sort of thing differently, so it is. Everybody has got to work their own way through it. So I'm not here to judge you on what you do and how you do it, but I do find I do quite go quite inward or come offline quite a lot. And, yeah, I just find I you know, I messaged a friend of mine yesterday to say hey, just to let you know I still think of you, I'm still here, I'm just going through some stuff and I'll come back soon. And she was like, yeah, cool, I feel that too, I'm here for you if you need me. And it was just like. It was just what I needed. I didn't need any more than that. It was just what I needed.
Speaker 1:And, to be honest, I haven't really even been showing up doing my Ring of the Enchantress or Beaten Heart, yoga or anything. You know. I literally have been just a bit off the radar, but I found that I've needed to do that and I would like to talk a little bit about how I get through these sort of times, so particularly around like our energy, the light and the dark. What does it mean, how does it work? And what is darkness, what is light?
Speaker 1:And you know, even recently, I had a comment which was indirectly at me. It was one of those that you think yeah, I know that comments for me, you know, like these sort of backhanded ones that they think you sort of see, but don't see, I don't know, it's a bit weird. Anyway, people are weird, we're all weird, put it that way. But it was something along the lines of oh, I just hate it when people just, you know, they spread love and light all the time, and it was in response to something I'd put up and it was just like it's just coincidental. But either way, I wanted to address it today and talk about it because I think it's a really interesting topic and since I have been embracing much more of my witchy side over the last few years and being quite out about it, I have found that there's this really weird divide within even the witch community. There's this really weird divide within even the witch community, um, which is witches, um, witches, that a lot of witches, like they're very satanic and I, you know, worship the devil and the darkness and stuff, and to me that's it's really weird, because I find that being a witch, that's just not what it is and that is kind of everything that society deems it to be in what they would class as the wrong way. You know, and I get that, I do agree with that I don't think people should be demonized for what they believe in. I think, you know, people should be encouraged to know that there is love for them and there is light, and I think when we go through a lot of darkness in our life, it means it's really hard to find the light and maybe people don't think it's accessible to them. But it is. It really is. There's enough for everybody. There really really is. So I kind of find so.
Speaker 1:A lot of time people don't know what darkness is, and I this is my take on it. So there could be more. You might agree with this, you might not, and that's okay. We have all got to be able to meet each other where we are. So if any of these strike a chord with you, maybe this is just opening you up to a different way of thinking.
Speaker 1:So darkness, what is darkness? So darkness is things like the trauma in our lives. So when we go through shock, grief, anger, upset, hurt, abuse, that is darkness. There's no other way about it. It's darkness, it's heavy energy, it's's negative and it is just full of everything opposite of light. Now, we all go through life, we all experience some level of this. You cannot go through life without other forms of darkness.
Speaker 1:Are illness? Now you could argue is it the darkness causing the illness? That's's an interesting one. I don't know. I'm just putting it out there for you to have a think about as well. So illness can cause a lot of darkness and where we break bones and things like that end up in hospital darkness. That's a tough time. That's a tough time. There's no easy light about that. But then we've got things like, say, drinking. We're lowering our vibrational energy by, you know, drinking alcohol, gambling, doing drugs, holding grudges against people, being angry like these people who are quick to road rage for nothing. You know what are they going through. What do we need to send to them? And it isn't more anger, it's definitely love, and some people might be cringing at this, but it's so true. Sometimes it's the people that come to us with their judgment and negativity that they actually need our love more than anybody else. And sometimes you find that you've just got to send that inwardly, not outwardly, because they might really not like that, but either way, that's how I feel.
Speaker 1:Repeating old patterns and this goes a little bit deeper as well. So not only do we sometimes repeat old patterns in our life, you know, a bit like the stereotype. I mean, it goes both ways. But the women that say, oh, all the men are horrible, all the men are pigs, I always get the same one. It's because you're bringing the same one into your life. You need to change that, because there are good men out there and this goes the opposite way. All women are horrible, gold digging whores and all this no, they're not, that's just what you're attracting to you. And whores and all this no, they're not, that's just what you're attracting to you. This works both ways, but actually it comes down to us when it's a pattern that gets repeated.
Speaker 1:And I've had this, I've said it recently, in my own life like this pattern not of men, this pattern of friendship keeps happening to me and I'm like why and I'm really going deep on it to really try and unpack it because this is also part of our shadow side and obviously it's called shadow because you get shadow when there's a little bit of light in the darkness. It shines a shadow on the darkness within us and everybody's got this. We are everything, everything. We are love and light, wild and dark In us. We have every part and there's no two ways about it. That is true. So when we have this darkness, if you want to go deeper with it, you can find that this is also ancestral patterns and I find this fascinating. There's some ways and patterns in my life that I have followed on that have been the exact same timeline to my mum, and my partner has also found this has been similar to the same patterns that his dad has had. There are ancestral patterns that get reborn anew within us and then we pass that on to our children.
Speaker 1:So and I'm not saying all these patterns are bad yeah, they are not but the ones that are that are getting repeated. It's like the universe is like come on now, which one of you in the lineage is going to change this? Which one of you is going to dive deep and make the changes to your psyche that is going to change your lineage going forward? Now, this is deep, this is really deep, and you may never have thought about it in this way way, but the problem is when we are only led by darkness. So the people who really are just descend all the time, don't want to see the light, think love and light is all a load of bullcrap. They can, and some of us too.
Speaker 1:We have to be careful. You can get entities attached to you. So when you hear this phrase, the devil walks among us. That could not be more true. Oh my God. All you have to look at is who's on the world stage at the moment, and that is so prevalent in our time. The devil does walk among us, but what can we do to protect ourselves? Now, you may think I'm going off on tangents here. Talking about all this. You may have switched off already, but, kudos, if you're still here, thank you very much. We all need to actually come together and work on the light together Now.
Speaker 1:This is why I absolutely love going to like spiritual gatherings and meetups, because we are all there for the same intention. You have to protect yourself, though, because you have to remember that some people are carrying baggage entities with them. They might know it or unknow it, but it's about the intention of why we are there which is the important thing. This is why Fridays have always been my favorite day of the week, because everyone has that Friday feeling. It's social conditioning at its finest. I love this hype on a Friday. I've always loved Fridays, but I think it's because I can feel the collective consciousness when it comes to that feeling.
Speaker 1:I've always loved Christmas Eve, and now that I don't really celebrate Christmas, I still love Christmas Eve, but for the energy, and that's what it always has been, because everybody on Christmas Eve is that anticipation of magic, and that is just so beautiful. Also, when you go on holiday, pretty much all those people on that plane going somewhere are going on holiday and they have that same intention. This holiday is going to be great, it's going to be relaxing, it's going to be so much fun. That intention is magnetic, that energy is magnetic. That energy is magnetic. So, when we go to things, it's about the intention Protect yourself spiritually. But it's about the intention of why we're going, because the more we can gather in community and this is something that I really want to do a lot more this year I feel that there's such value in coming together with a beautiful intention.
Speaker 1:It doesn't mean to say everyone's going to be happy and jolly when they turn up. It's not about that. It's because they want to be a part of the love, they want to be a part of the light. They might be bringing that, or they might be hoping that we can hold them in a time of darkness, and that's okay, because you cannot fully experience the light if you've never had any darkness and if you're old enough to be able to have your own phone, computer, device, whatever, to be able to listen to this podcast, you are probably an adult.
Speaker 1:Therefore, you have gone through darkness in your life. You just have, whether it, however big or small. We've all gone through stuff. Maybe we've lost people, lost pets, lost jobs, you know, had friendships break down, mean things said to us. That's all part of darkness.
Speaker 1:But when we go through times of darkness, even if you're in a real pit of grief or despair, it's that belief and hope that the light is there. The light is coming. Maybe you can see a little glimmer of light. It is the light that guides us through the darkness. We don't want to stay in the pit. We have to sometimes go through the pit and climb our way out, but it's the light that is guiding us.
Speaker 1:It's this trust in the universe, it's love in our heart. Love and light. The light can be described in my vision as love. Oh God, there's no higher frequency than love. Appreciation, gratitude, compassion.
Speaker 1:These are very strong words and these are words I speak into my water every day. So I bless my water before I drink it and before I get, because I have the fluoride free water from my RO system. So I give water to my partner, I give water to my mum, but as it comes out, once it's poured, um, as I decant it, I say love healing compassion, love healing compassion, because these words are so strong, these are so strong and we all need more of that, all of us. There's no one exempt from this, and we can all have more. We are not exempt from having more, and what I want people to remember is that the more we can trust and lean into the universe, the more we can align within our life, the more we can see ourselves for who we truly are and the more we can accept others for who they are as well, because it's all about meeting each other where we all are. We can can't. There is no one who's on the same spiritual journey at all in this world. We are all at different points at different times, but to be able to come together, to be able to embrace each other, hold each other in, however that is, and if people are giving you grief, perhaps they are the people that need it more.
Speaker 1:And I find this really interesting because recently there was a reel on Instagram from somebody I follow Kandra, I think her name is and she did a reel and it was a couple of weeks ago. She did it and it was about like restoring after, like being drained of your energy. So this was actually around Christmas time. It was around sort of going to New Year's things, christmas things and and she was like hugging a sound bowl and things like that and it was just. It was not necessarily that, but it was. It was about the intention of trying to restore yourself after you've dealt with people that have come at you with all these different like just ways of being that just don't sit with you but you still want to be around them because they might be like blood relatives or good friends, so you still want to see them. So basically, her reel was all about restoring energy.
Speaker 1:Well, this past week it got sent out to the other side of the meta universe and it is rife with all these comments that are so judgmental, abusive, harmful towards her, saying she's stupid, she's weird and all of this, and saying, oh, you've got autism or you've got mental health issues and things it was. She so embodies the light, so so much. And yet this was rife with so many horrid comments and her reel inspired me a lot today with this podcast because she said those people, they need our love and I thought, yes, she's right, because you know, when I have issues with people, I end up putting them in my meditation just to send love to them, because I think, my god, what are you going through? That? You needed to act like that to me, and it was just so interesting to see her take on it as well, and it just goes to show. This is why I don't always show up online when I'm going through stuff, because I'm vulnerable, so I just generally just deal with it myself, because the online world, whilst it can feel like a safe space, it also cannot be a safe space, and I really, really want to align with more and more people who really want to connect with themselves in a spiritual way and to nature as well, and that is what I'm really going to be pushing with my social media. I say pushing, aligning with that's a better word, but it's just so interesting that the other side there's literally two sides in humanity sometimes, when you look at things like this, it can be very black and white, very light and dark, and I just find it bizarre how people can be like that.
Speaker 1:And I think it's interesting when she was talking about the fact that you get drained from being around people who you don't quite align with, but maybe they're not people that you just want to like tell to go away, because we have to work very carefully in our life, because it's about, like I said earlier, about meeting people where they are, and I think that's so important. Just because someone is not believing in God or something can you do, doesn't mean to say you should just tell them to go away, is it? No, it's not about that at all. It's about meeting people where they are, and I find this very interesting because it can be very hard. The more you open yourself up, particularly as an empath, the more you open yourself up in this sensitive way, the harder it can be to integrate with people who do not share your values. And this has been very, very prevalent for me in recent years, and it is a struggle that I am going to be turning on its head because I'm saying no more, because I need to align more with people that connect with me so much more. So my life is changing and it's very exciting. I will be telling you soon, but it's very, very exciting. But we need to be able to also integrate within these systems and it's such a back and forth Like I was in Tesco just before Christmas and again in January, and I was just standing there and my partner, he turns to me, he goes you're right, I'm not happy.
Speaker 1:I just blurted it out, I'm not happy. And I could feel it's really weird. And Tesco is worse than other places and is worse in other places, and I don't know why. I don't know why, but I was just like I'm not happy, I'm not happy, I don't want to be, I'm not happy and I was like my god, jolene, get a grip. Um, and it's being able to integrate.
Speaker 1:And what I wish I had done, which I keep forgetting to do is protect myself before I go in. Protect my aura, just tell myself I am protected. Before I go in. It doesn't even have to be big. You can cast your hands around you in a circle to draw a beam of light around your body like a shield around you. You, you can tell yourself I am protected by love and light. I'm protected by my guardians, my angels, my spirit guides, whatever it is. You can invoke that before you go into these places. And this is where integration is so important, because we can't just shut off from the real world. This is why I'm doing this episode, because I have felt this too and every now and again I get caught out. I get caught out with it because I forget to protect myself and I'm getting better at it sometimes, but sometimes I forget.
Speaker 1:And I think the integration is so important because I'm I like to work through all the chakras, I like to be really grounded. You know I like to put my bare feet on the earth. I like to get out into nature and touch trees. You know I love trees. In case you didn't know, I like that groundedness. But I also love this feeling that you can get in the upper chakras, in your third eye, in your crown chakra and above, that real sense of like feeling your aura dancing around you, particularly when I'm chanting or doing breath work, a qigong, that type of thing. So I like to explore all chakras. But if we want to be able to be grounded here, it's a gift to be here on this earth. If we want to be grounded here on this earth, we need to be able to integrate.
Speaker 1:Now, this is interesting because it can be very tempting, particularly if you're into the spiritual world or you've just started to get into it and you're like, oh, I just love this feeling when I go to a sound bath or when I go to a goddess circle and have cacao or when I do this particular type of yoga or sensual flow and you think I just want to do it more, more, more. I have to go to another one. I have to go to another one. I just love that five-day retreat that I did. I have to go to another one. Is there another one in the next week or so?
Speaker 1:We can get overloaded by staying on this side of spiritual healing, because it can feel it can also not feel good. It depends what we're going through, and sometimes it can bring up emotion that we have to then deal with, which is a good thing because it brings it out quicker. It brings out hidden patterns within us, out hidden patterns within us. But sometimes we can get addicted to that healing journey and we need the time to actually integrate, integrate it. So what I mean by that is like, say, if you go on a five day retreat, you don't want to be looking for your next one straight away. You want to be looking at. Maybe can you, the next weekend that you're off work, or take a few days off when you get back just to go out into nature, ground yourself, have some hearty food that you've made with your own hands, can you ground yourself back into your body and your presence? It's a bit like the same thing going on holiday and then have you ever experienced coming back from holiday in the morning and then go straight into work? Yeah, yeah, you know that feeling is crazy. It's not good.
Speaker 1:That's what I mean by integration. It's giving yourself time to make that change from where you've been to coming back into the groundedness of your life. And this is where a lot of people, I think, fall out of bed when they're like, oh, I just hate my life, don't want to go back to it, and it's like have you given yourself the chance to go back? Do you then go back with appreciation and gratitude? Now, if you're going back to old patterns that you know you shouldn't be doing different. But I'm talking about if you have a life that you do actually quite like, but coming back from holiday, you just don't want to go back into it. Is it because you've not given yourself that integration time? So we have to be very careful in how we manage ourselves when we integrate back in.
Speaker 1:And when I went to the Tony Robbins, it was a four-day seminar. Oh, I was going to say last year, but obviously we're in 2025 now. It was in July 2023. There was somebody I met on that. I met a lot of people there. It was amazing. But there was somebody I met on that and she liked to just go to, like so many of these, and it was such a heightened sense of healing being there, but she wanted to go. She was going to the next one, she was going to another country to do one, she was doing an online one and then she would go to the next one. And then she was like, well, you going to anymore? And I'm like, no, and this was like a year later, and I'm like, no, I'm still integrating what I'm doing. And she was like, really, how do you keep that vibe going? And I'm like, because I, I don't, I don't know. I just thought. And then it got me thinking is it the integration? Is it how I manage it? Is it I don't? I don't know, but it was very. It was a very interesting conversation and it made me think about this.
Speaker 1:And also, people who go from one spiritual thing to the next Are you actually integrating what you've got from it? And I just think that is something that needs to be addressed, because we can. Being a human being, we can also be sheep. Yeah, we follow along with the herd. We're just sheep. We follow along because it's much easier to follow along than it is to be a leader start your own thing. I don't necessarily mean that, but you can take it as that if that fits with you. What I mean is that we can follow along so many times in our life and just say yes to everything. You know the times when you just say, oh, yeah, yeah, we'll do that, I'll do that, yeah, yeah, we'll go there, we'll go there.
Speaker 1:And this is why, a lot of the time, particularly with parents, they can lose themselves when they have kids, because there's a certain element of being a yes person when you've got kids, because there's certain things they have to do, you know and have to be and whatever, and I get that. But then as they get a bit older and I was guilty of this when I was a kid so sorry mum, sorry dad up there yes, I know I was one of these too, like mum, I need to do this, I need to do that, I could use to do that, I need to do this. Can I do that. Can I do this? Can I go there? Can you take me here? Can you take me there? Yes, yes Joe, yes, joe, yes, joe, and obviously my brother was the same, because we were young.
Speaker 1:When you're young, you don't know that the life doesn't revolve around you, because you're too young. But what I'm saying is this is how a lot of parents can lose themselves because they become yes, people. They follow along with the herd. They just say yes to everything, and then it's like what do you want? And they're like oh my God, I don't know.
Speaker 1:So when I say about being a leader, instead, it's about being a leader in your own life. What do you want, what do you want to do? And it's that lead, and by example as well. So it doesn't matter if no one wants to go to that place with you, just go anyway. And you'll probably find, if you start doing these things, people will like, follow along and they'll want a little bit of what you're doing, because that energy is infectious.
Speaker 1:But we are all guilty of being sheep and it's very hard to wake up from this type of conditioning and saying yes to everything. We have to actually make a conscious effort to do it. That's why it's difficult. But we all need to be leaders in our own life, of our own life of ourself, because there's nothing more exhilarating than being the main character in your life's journey. So I hope you've taken so much from that.
Speaker 1:If you were going through a time of darkness, know that the light is there for you. There's unlimited amounts of love, that the light is there for you. There's unlimited amounts of love for you. You're allowed to be you and you're allowed to be human and, as always, remember to lead through your life with your heart and to live with intention. Thank you so much for tuning in today. If you enjoyed this episode, please do share it with your friends and on social media. If you have the time to rate or review this podcast, I'd be ever so grateful. If you'd like to follow me on Instagram, you can find me at Jolene Sensual Bein. The links to my YouTube and to sign up to my mailing list will be in the show notes as well. I look forward to speaking with you again very soon.