Sensual Being

Ep 100 - Exploring Sacred Gatherings

• Jolene Whiting • Episode 100

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Have you ever wondered what really happens in those mysterious circle gatherings you've heard about? In this milestone 100th episode of The Sensual Being Podcast, I pull back the curtain on one of humanity's oldest forms of connection and healing.

Sacred circles create rare spaces where true equality exists—where facilitators stand shoulder to shoulder with participants, where vulnerability becomes strength, and where finding your voice can transform your entire life. Whether you call them covens, women's circles, or shamanic journeys, these gatherings share common elements that nurture profound healing and self-discovery.

From the talking stick that ensures each person is truly heard without interruption, to the cleansing rituals that prepare your energy field for deeper work, I walk you through what makes these experiences so powerful. You'll learn about sound journeys that shift your brainwaves into meditative states, the significance of calling in the directions for protection, and how plant medicines like cacao can open your heart to new possibilities.

The truth is, these circles aren't about instant happiness or magical fixes—they're about being authentically held in community while you connect with parts of yourself that our busy world rarely allows space for. They're about recovering your voice after generations of silence, and remembering how to trust again after heartbreak.

As someone who's facilitated these gatherings for years, I've witnessed transformations that extend far beyond the circle itself—into relationships healed, boundaries established, and lives reimagined. Whether you're circle-curious or a seasoned practitioner, this episode offers insights to deepen your understanding of this ancient practice that feels more relevant than ever.

Ready to discover how circles might transform your life? Listen now—and perhaps you'll feel called to join me at one of my Ring of the Enchantress gatherings to experience the magic firsthand.

- If you would like to connect further you can find me on Instagram @jolenesensualbeing
- You can sign up to my mailing list here: Sensual Being Mailout
- My Youtube channel: SensualBeingJolene

I hope you enjoy your day.
Jolene
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Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome to the Sensual being podcast with myself, your host, jolene Whiting. I have been a pole dance teacher for nearly 20 years. I'm also a yoga instructor and my favorite pastimes are connecting to my own sensuality, connecting with the world and connecting with animals as well. In this podcast, you'll find new and inventive ways of how you see yourself, connecting yourself with others, and also how you see and view the world around you. Join me today as I give you a brief insight as to what circle gatherings are, if you've ever seen these shamanic journeys or cacao ceremonies, what they actually are and what they entail. Hello, sensual being, and thank you so much for joining me today.

Speaker 1:

This is a little bit of a milestone episode, because I have just realized that this episode is episode number 100. Oh my god, I have sat down and done 100 episodes and that doesn't include the trailers that I've done all the intentions, so we're up to 100 intentions as well, which is amazing, absolutely amazing. So, yeah, it's coming up to two years as well. It'll be two years in May that I actually started this, and it feels like it is such a part of my life now and I can't easily imagine not doing this, because I just feel like finding your voice at this time in our life, in our lifestyle, is so, so important, and I have spoken about this before because I really believe particularly women have been silenced over the years. We have been silenced through generations, and I'm not going to deny it either. Men have been silenced too. We have all been silenced through generations, and I'm not going to deny it either. Men have been silenced too. We have all been silenced and dumbed down in many, many, many ways, and this is why I feel like it's so important to find your voice. However, that works for you. Um, yeah, I mean, I found mine through chanting. I've known other people to find theirs through like shouting therapy, and they'll go stand on top of a hill and shout and it's amazing, this activation in your voice from doing these different things. And, yeah, it is something that we need to definitely be doing more as society, because, with the way everything is run, you know, if you would, I remember growing up and asking a question at school and I'm being told you know you're not allowed to ask a question or you know that's not a good question, I'm not going to answer it, and things like that.

Speaker 1:

And even now, now, when you ask a question, you get shamed for it a lot of the time and I'm very much somebody who, if there's any sort of shame around a question that I'm asking, it makes me ask much money, money, money, more questions, because I just, if there's anything that carries shame, like I can't believe you think that I can't believe you're asking. This makes me think okay, there's been a little bit more conditioning done here to make you put shame on me for asking this question and that makes me dig deeper. And you might call me a critical thinker. You might call me a critical thinker, you might call me a truther, you might call me a conspiracy theorist. But hey, I'm just Jolene, I'm just doing this podcast and that's, that's it I'm. I don't really label myself as anything because I don't. Again, I feel like the labels they separate us. So, again, not big on labels either way, like whatever you want to call me, it's not really big on it.

Speaker 1:

So, yeah, that was a little bit of a ramble, but I do feel like there's a lot of magic and power within our voice and it isn't just a case of oh, if you start a podcast, if you find your voice, you're going to start a podcast. It's not that. Or, if you find your voice, you're going to become a singer yeah, it can happen, but it's not that. It's more that you stand in the sovereignty of yourself. You set the boundaries that need to be set in your life. You don't get walked over, you don't get treated badly in the same way anymore. Because you stand up for yourself, you walk away from relationships that no longer serve you. This is where finding your voice and activating your throat chakra is really important, because all of that stuff I just said I'm sure you will agree with me that is important. And if you end up becoming a singer or a public speaker or a podcast host or whatever, using your voice more, I go for it. Go for it's absolutely nothing holding you back apart from yourself. So if you have a dream like that, what you need to do first is get out of your own way, and then step two is go for it because, honestly, nothing to hold you back. Sorry to burst your bubble if you thought that there was, but there isn't, I promise.

Speaker 1:

So our episode today is for episode number 100. I still can't believe that's a thing. Oh, my God, 100. Oh, honestly, to everybody who's listened to any of this so far. I'm just like flabbergasted by how much traction this has got and how much more in this past year. To hell. These past six months have been getting so much more traction on the podcast and that's by you guys sharing it with people and I so appreciate that. So so much and doing any sort of rating and review and things like that. It's helped it so so much. I just, oh, I mean so much gratitude for you right now being here listening to this. So our episode today I wanted to talk to you about these circle style gatherings.

Speaker 1:

It might be like also deemed as like a coven or, you know, like maybe a gathering around a fire and things like that. A lot of the time they are called circles because you actually sit in a circle and the way the energy flows around a circle is beautiful, absolutely beautiful, and when you have this type of energy in a circle, it's very connective. But when we are in those sort of spaces as well, the person who is facilitating it and leading it becomes equal as well, because at the end of the day, we are equal. Here. There is, even if somebody is leading a session for you, they are equal to you and if they don't see that, if they don't see themselves as equal to you, then there's more problems and I wouldn't go. I wouldn't go back there, but the circles I sat in have been like this 100%. We are all there together.

Speaker 1:

This sort of support is absolutely beautiful and nourishing and it is really well needed, and a lot of the spaces that I go to are actually women only and there are men only circles as well, and I will get on a little bit more to what a circle actually is and what it entails in a roundabout way. They're all different, but I would give you a little bit of an outline for that as well, but you can get men's circles as well and I think that is just as important. Just as important because men need to talk, possibly more so than women. My spaces that I hold are generally always, whilst they are like very female driven, we work a lot with the divine feminine energies that come through. We do have divine masculine come through as well, but, to be honest, we live in such a masculine world, so to have that nurturing side of the divine feminine, the wildness and the rawness of her, to come through is really important at this time, and this is what the circles can actually do, and this is why a lot of them are women only or men only, is why a lot of them are women only or men only.

Speaker 1:

But for me personally, I believe there's a coming together and a balance of bringing the masculine and the feminine energies together, and we actually had a discussion recently, me and some of the people who come to my classes, and it was it. Our underlying thing was, yeah, women only spaces are great, but if you don't have any men there holding that energy with you, how are you going to integrate this energy into the rest of your life? Because we don't live in a women-only world, we don't live in men-only world. It's integrated, and I thought that's so spot on, and that is exactly why I hold the spaces like I do, which is to allow men to be there as well. So long as they're there and they're partaking in it the same as everybody else. I don't see the difference. Again, it's that equality. We are equal there, all of us are equal there, and that's what I really like bringing into the spaces that I hold that you shouldn't have them, so just make sure that you know that. That's your takeaway from that bit is it's, however, the facilitator wants to show up.

Speaker 1:

Because, like I said, it is important to have women-only spaces because, unfortunately and this is the same for men as well it goes the other way, but a lot of the time a lot of women have been put into situations in their life where they can feel unsafe with men. So when you're trying to get someone to even just lay down in a room and close their eyes, I'm sorry, hello, no, not doing it if I don't feel comfy. And it might be that having a woman-only space actually makes that more comfortable for somebody, and that is absolutely fine too. So I'm very careful about who actually comes in to our little gatherings, because I always want to make sure that people are there for the right intention. It does not mean that you're going to turn up happy and positive. It doesn't even mean you're going to leave happy and positive, but the intention is that you would like that. Whether it happens or not doesn't matter, but so long as everybody is there for the same reason, because some of my like on my ring of the enchantress, that's my circle coven style gathering that I hold, and when I put that one out, I sort of I like to put on it, calling all sirens, witches, enchantresses, you know, I like to put that out there because it's nice to feel like you're on the more seductive side of life, you know, and I kind of like it in that sense.

Speaker 1:

But also what some people have thought before, like when you're calling in other witches, they're like, oh, that's bad. I've even had my, my posters taken down before because they mentioned the word witch on it. I've even had that happen before and I'm like, seriously, come on, I'll just go and put it back up and they take it back down again. It's kind of funny because I'm like you do realize that I just love trees, yeah, okay, but people have this really and again, this is where we have been silenced through the witch hunts and things. People hear the word witch. It's even been used as a bullying term.

Speaker 1:

You witch, you know, and it's been deemed as something actually really dark and really negative and it really really isn't. It isn't. But again, it's that intention around it. You know I'm not gathering together to do black magic. No, thank you, I'm not interested. If you're not here to worship a tree, I'm just not interested, you know. But people will gravitate towards me because they will feel like their values align with mine. You know, in various different ways, whether it's like nature, whether it's earth, whether it's cyclical living connecting to your womb, you know that type of energy is what I put out. There probably are places where you can go and do that sort of dark witchy deemed as black magic or whatever. You can probably go to other places and do that and that's not what I do. And, to be honest, most of the people that I meet who are witches are so full of love they are bursting at the seams with love Like so much, so much. And that's who my tribe is. So if you're one of those, I would get on with you really well.

Speaker 1:

So when we are in a circle so you generally have a lot of the time you can have like a cleansing ritual at the start. So that might be smudging, it might be like shaking your body, it might be grounding and things like that. So when you shake your body like you move all the energy through, when you smudge with sacred smoke, you can do this. I mean, a lot of people think it's only like white sage or palo santo, but you, you can make your own saline sticks. I've made ones out of lavender, ros, rosemary, mugwort and all of these. Oh, cedar, I love my cedar one too. They all do different things. They all do different things. They've all got different properties. So it depends what you're looking for. I mean you can make your own. You don't have to go to a shop and buy any of this. You can actually make it and it's so much more connective to when you do and that sacred smoke. It cleanses your aura.

Speaker 1:

So you really want to be sort of grounded as you do it, breathing out, letting go, like whatever it is to visualize. You know, negativity leaving yourself so positive energy can come back in. And you don't always cleanse at the start. I just I like doing that in some sort of way. Sometimes. I mean one of my friends, she Dee, she uses what did she use last time? Florida spray. Oh my God, that smelled amazing. And again, but that was a cleansing ritual and she just sprayed it around us and, yeah, it was stunning. So there's loads of different ways that you can cleanse and you just kind of you're not going to get rid of every single negative thing that's inside you when you do that, but it's a start. I mean it's a good start. Again, it's the intention behind it as well which helps.

Speaker 1:

And normally in a circle, a lot of the time you'll get a chance to introduce your name, like just say your name. Sometimes you get passed around a talking stick or a talking I've got a talking crystal and when you're holding the crystal, that's your time to talk, to talk. And when you're sharing something, if you choose to share something, then you are holding the stick and you're sharing. If you cry, you cry. If you pause, whatever, everyone just holds the energy there. It's not a time to go. Oh, don't worry, oh don't cry. Oh, I can help you with that. Let me talk to you afterwards. I've got a good, I've got a good thing that will sort that out for you.

Speaker 1:

We don't try and coach each other when we're there, we literally just hold the space, because it can be surprising that when you start talking, what comes out? Sometimes I know what I'm going to say and then, as soon as I'm holding a talking stick and I'm saying something, I just think, oh, oh, my God, where did this come from? And sometimes we're not always heard in our lives. There are some people who say stuff in these spaces. They are confidential, so what you hear, you don't go and repeat it out. So I'm not about to give you any tidbits and stories. So if you've come here for that, um, no, I'm not going to give you that. But sometimes people come to these spaces and they are not heard, they are not supported by anybody around them, and it is heartbreaking. But for them to like just share what's on their mind, it means a lot just to be in that space where we're not moving on to the next thing or not paying attention or waiting for our turn to talk. But also, on the flip side, sometimes people have been there and just said I'm just going to make up a name. Hi, my name's Jane, but I'm not sharing anything. Today I said, okay, cool, you know you don't have to share anything, and but the act of that sharing it creates sisterhood, and sisterhood is something that, judging by my school experience, is fleeting or it's been flung, it went.

Speaker 1:

I didn't trust women. You know I have a lot of trust issues when it comes to people and unfortunately there were still times in my life where it gets thrown back in my face and I think, oh, my god, I trusted you. But I also feel like I don't want to go through my life and never trust anybody, because I just don't think I would be happy and fulfilled, I wouldn't be living in my fullest potential, whatever that means, and so I kind of feel like being open to trust is where I want to be, and these spaces really do do that for me, whether I'm holding them or going to them. They're incredibly valuable to me and which is why I like to share them out now.

Speaker 1:

Normally, on the ones that I've been to and that I facilitate, there's an altar in the middle. A lot of the time you can bring something to put on the altar and it kind of it just gets infused and charged with this good intention of everybody there and then you take it back at the end. It might be a crystal, it might be a jewelry, it it might be a photo, it it can be anything that means something to you. But you get it back and and at one of my Lammas rituals that we did I got everybody to bring five pounds in cash. They put it on the altar. They didn't know what it was for. Then I got them to take it back at the end, because it was Lammas and it was harvest season. I said take that five pound, take your five pound back when you next next go shopping. Buy some food and put it in the food bank, and that was part of our ritual, because our rituals extend out. You know further than ourselves they. You know this energy can ripple out however you choose to like manifest it out, and that was a beautiful way of like cleansing the money and then buying something lovely for people, particularly people who are in need of it. And yeah, so what else is there? So gather around the altar. A lot of the time you sit on the floor, but you can sit on a chair. Not everyone's hips and backs are okay with being on a floor. Always ask for a chair wherever you go, if you need one and when you actually. Sometimes you have cacao and, to be honest, that's going to be.

Speaker 1:

Our whole separate podcast is talking about cacao, which is a plant medicine drink. It's raw chocolate. Don't get excited by the fact that it's raw chocolate. It is no dairy milk in Galaxy, but it's interesting though, because the more you drink it, the more for me. I never used to like dark chocolate. I love dark chocolate now and I don't really have milk chocolate in the same way it changes you. But anyway, sometimes people serve cacao because it can really link you in to the energy of love and appreciation and gratitude a lot more. That's why some ceremonies serve it, some of mine I do, some of mine I don't.

Speaker 1:

But I'm going to go into cacao more in depth on a different episode because there's too much to talk about with it and it's very much working with subtle energies with it and you can also you might even like put intention into some water or some tea. You know, you don't. It doesn't have to be cacao to do some sort of like a grounding, mindfulness um exercise to bring you into yourself. So you might even just hold some water, talk into it, change the molecules of the water with that intention that you spoke into it and then drink it. So it does not have to be a cacao ceremony for you to do something that's very similar to what they do with the cacao.

Speaker 1:

And after that, if you have cacao, you might not you normally go into it depends how it's worded or who's facilitating. So it can be a shamanic journey, a guided journey, a sound meditation, a guided, sound journey. You might have seen all of these words and thinking. I don't know what that even is, and you're not alone, because a lot of people don't know what it is. So when you have a like a guided sound journey, now everybody is different. I can only tell you what I've experienced and how I hold sessions myself.

Speaker 1:

So a lot of the time you're there'll be a shamanic drum and someone will either play that by hand or with a beater and that the type of rhythm that you can get going with the drum. It puts you you into like an alpha brainwave, so it just gives you a meditative baseline for your brain. And when you're going in to that state because a lot of people say, oh, I can't meditate, oh, it's meditation, I can't do that, I'm not very good at that, I can't do that, I'm not very good at that, I can tell you now, nobody's good at meditation because we have a brain. Now brains benefit from meditation, but they're not set up for meditation. It takes work, it takes dedication and it's about finding the way for you.

Speaker 1:

A lot of people think meditation is just sitting in a room, all in quiet, cross-legged on the floor. Meditation is just sitting in a room, all in quiet, cross-legged on the floor. No, it can be, yes, but meditation can take various forms. Now, when you use like a shamanic drum, the beat of the drum puts you in a meditative state, which means that even though there's noise, you're always able. It cancels out a lot of the things that you might be thinking about, or a lot of things that you might be spiraling and thinking of over and over again.

Speaker 1:

This is why the guided sound journeys are good. If you go to a sound bath, it's very similar. In that sense. It's just like the whole time is just different noises on different instruments, whereas when you go like a circle, sometimes they take you through a journey, like you might travel through a forest or along a beach, you know. So you've got like a visual with it as well, and I've got different instruments as well. So I've got some sound bowls, I've got shamanic drums, spirit flutes and I also use my voice drums, spirit floats and I also use my voice and I have found, like recently, like light language has been coming through. So it's different ways of actually using my voice.

Speaker 1:

But I can't give you a sneak peek because it isn't the sort of thing I can just do a sneak peek of. It's something that when I'm in a ritual setting, then I am able to tune into that type of frequency and, yeah, so that like it gives you tingles when you kind of do it and when other people do it as well, it's yeah, it's it's sort of unearthly when you hear it, but it kind of really like it gives you, like it resets you, or it puts codes into your body or your brain and it resets you into like a better state, a positive state, or you channel out what you needed to let go of and things like that and this whole journey as well you can add in your voice to it. So not only will I be guiding people like to places, maybe to meet a spirit animal, maybe to work with the wolf or anything like that, but you also find that you can like you can sing as well, and I do like at my sessions to actually get people either doing a mantra, a chant or a song, and if they want to sing with me, they can, but they don't have to and I kind of find that sort of voice activation is very powerful. As well as just laying on the ground, having this beautiful guided journey, I think the activation of one's own voice is also good. You know, particularly people don't want to share, but they still need that voice activation. They might just hum to the song or something incredibly powerful.

Speaker 1:

And I also like, if you know, if it's on a full moon and we can go outside, just dance in the full moonlight, whether it's with music or without, or to go outside and do a chant on the earth, you know to be outside under the stars if it's at nighttime and this sort of thing I just I find it incredibly connective and when you do this, you find that you channel in to yourself so deeply. You uncover things that sometimes you didn't even know was there, which is why this is so, so good in many, many ways. And I've left some, some circles and been sort of you know not, I haven't come out happy, but I've still come out nourished or cleansed, whatever it is I needed. If I'm in the pit of some sort of grief and it's really bad, I won't come out of a circle and be magically fixed, but it would have helped that healing journey that I'm on and that's what you've got to be realistic about.

Speaker 1:

It's not about turning up happy, leaving happy. It's not about turning up happy leaving happy. It's not about turning up sad and leaving happy. It's about being held, understood and supported by yourself and by others. That's what's so important, and a lot of the time you do oracle cards like you might pick a card at the end. You might just read it intuitively by looking at it and seeing what you get from the picture, or you might actually have a reading from the booklet that comes with it. Each to their own. Some people don't do oracle cards at all. You don't have to. Sometimes they're there and people don't pick them. Don't have to. It's what you're drawn to at the time.

Speaker 1:

Now, if you go to circles quite regularly, can you have you thought about something that I've missed? Because I thought about it about two minutes ago and I thought, oh no, one of my favourite bits that I missed is have you got it yet? I love to call in the directions, absolutely love it. Now, you normally do this at the start to. Somehow I forgot it and left it to the end for you. Maybe I'm leaving the best till last.

Speaker 1:

So when you call in the directions, I call in air in the east. I call in air in the east, which is the sunrise, the start of a day. I call in fire in the south, which is the sun at its highest in the noonday sky. I call in water in the west for our flow of life, on our emotions running through us and the time of sunset, on our emotions running through us and the time of sunset. And I call in earth, in the north, the time of the darkest sky at night, the time of rest and rejuvenation. So I love to call in the directions because I'm very earthly with what I do it. I'm very earthly with what I do, very, very earthly, very grounded. I also call it in mother earth and father sky. So divine masculine, divine feminine, and that balance together. So I'm also calling in sort of from above, I'm also calling in from below.

Speaker 1:

I know also call in any ancestors, guides, spirits, guardians, but I make sure that I say that I'm only calling the ones in that are here for the highest good of ourselves and humanity. Because don't just call in anything because you might just get anything. Call in anything because you might just get anything. So you'd be very careful about your choice of words and only call into the space what you're happy with. You don't have to open the space for any ancestor to come in, because I'm sure we've all known people in our families, maybe to have passed over, and do you think that they will all have your best interest at heart, every single one? What about the ones that you don't know from your lineage? What about the ones that were part of burning witches at the stake? Do you want to call those ones in? I don't think so.

Speaker 1:

So be very aware of who and how you are calling in, and you've got to make sure at the end that you close the space down as well. So you thank the directions, you thank any of the spirits and beings that have joined, and it's offering that respect for any guidance that they may have helped support you on your healing journey. But, yeah, so just be very careful about when you're like oh, we call in all spirits, guys, guardians, ancestors, the fae that's fine, just make sure you back it up with so long as you're here for the greatest good of myself and humanity, or whatever wording works for you, because we want to be protected in this space. Yeah, and you find that you uncover parts of yourself when you can like let go and be in these spaces and sometimes you might fall asleep. That's okay too. Just it doesn't matter, we're all used to it. Like.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes people need to rest and fall asleep, and that's okay too, and you can find that when you really like sink into yourself, you get answers from within. You get ideas that you think I'm gonna live my life like this. How about if I did this? Do you know what? I feel more confident when I do, when I think about doing that now I'm going to go forth and do a bit more on this or try this and do that. Go here, go there, and it gives you more confidence and the people you meet you make really valuable friendships because you were being in a vulnerable position together and this is why I used to love teaching pole dancing, particularly with pole, because when you were in that first class together. You're all vulnerable together because you're dancing for the first time on the pole together and it's scary when you open yourself up like this, even if you haven't shared anything, but you're opening yourself up to yourself. Sometimes, as soon as you slow down, you realize maybe you might be somebody who has never, ever slowed down before and that can be a bit of a tough pill to swallow, but it's really worth it and I'm gonna leave you with a little insight that I had after doing one of my rituals.

Speaker 1:

So this was from being back in January this year. I am being guided and so are you. Trust is everything. Don't ignore the signs. Life is to be experienced. Sink into yourself, I dare you, look into your heart and you'll find your soul talking. Be gentle with the mind, for she doesn't quite understand your soul's calling. Understand your soul's calling. Allow her to be curious, but don't let her lead. The mind is a toddler. Your soul is the crone. Your heart is the mother. Allow your soul to lead, allow your heart to care and allow your mind to keep you on your toes.

Speaker 1:

So I hope you enjoyed that episode today. If you are ever interested in connecting with me at one of my circles, I run Ring of the Enchantress and sometimes we even get to do that outside and in my very special bell tent called the beacon tent. So if you're ever interested in coming to one of those with me, then let me know and I will pop you on my list. Remember, as always, to lead through your life with your heart and to live with intention. Thank you so much for tuning in today. If you enjoyed this episode, please do share it with your friends and on social media. If you have the time to rate or review this podcast, I'd be ever so grateful. If you'd like to follow me on Instagram, you can find me at Jolene Sensual Bein. The links to my YouTube and to sign up to my mailing list will be in the show notes as well. I look forward to speaking with you again very soon.