Sensual Being

Ep 105 - Dance with the Universe Not Your To-Do List

• Jolene Whiting • Episode 105

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Have you ever felt so caught up in the modern world's demands that you've lost touch with your authentic self? That's exactly where I found myself after an emotionally draining weekend of house hunting—stuck in what I call "3D thinking," where practical concerns overshadow spiritual wellbeing.

When Monday morning arrived with its usual expectations of productivity, something within me rebelled. Instead of diving straight into my to-do list, I chose a different path—dedicating time to realign my energy through meditation, yoga, breathwork, and most powerfully, vocal toning. This conscious choice to prioritize spiritual alignment before productivity might seem counterintuitive in our achievement-oriented society, but it's precisely what allows us to move through the world with greater purpose and impact.

The practice of using your voice—not just in conventional singing but exploring different tones and vibrations—literally changes your brain frequency, allowing for clearer thinking and emotional processing. This explains why children often hum when concentrating and why chanting has been used across spiritual traditions for millennia. When we unlock different parts of ourselves through these practices, we access a wisdom that goes beyond intellectual understanding.

Perhaps my most profound realization came while singing in my living room, when my dog curled up at my feet, refusing to move. Part of me felt the urgent pull to continue with my day's tasks, but another part recognized the sacredness of that simple moment. And therein lies the truth I want to share with you: the hugs we give, the connections we make, and the moments of pure presence are what we're truly here for. The emails can wait. The chores can wait. But the opportunity to be fully present in our lives waits for no one.

Join me in creating daily rituals that connect us to our essence—whether through morning dancing, singing in the car, or simply pausing to appreciate our incredible life journey. Your evolution has brought you to this exact moment, and that alone is worth celebrating. Ready to find your alignment?

Artists mentioned in this episode are Rebecca Campbell and Katarina Rain.

- If you would like to connect further you can find me on Instagram @jolenesensualbeing
- You can sign up to my mailing list here: Sensual Being Mailout
- My Youtube channel: SensualBeingJolene

I hope you enjoy your day.
Jolene
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Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome to the Sensual being podcast with myself, your host, jolene Whiting. I have been a pole dance teacher for nearly 20 years. I'm also a yoga instructor and my favorite pastimes are connecting to my own sensuality, connecting with the world and connecting with animals as well. In this podcast, you'll find new and inventive ways of how you see yourself, connecting yourself with others, and also how you see and view the world around you. In this episode, we talk about why it's so important to find alignment within how you are feeling each day. Hello, sensual being, and welcome back to the podcast. Thank you so much for being here today and, if nobody's told you this today, thank you so much for your presence in this world, because the world is richer for having you in it. So just make sure that you take that with you for the rest of today and forever. But today's one is a bit of an intuitive one, because this wasn't the podcast I come on here to record today and I had so many issues with the podcast yesterday and trying to record and I just couldn't do it, so I had to leave it and go out and just ignore it and then hopefully come back to today and I've got a new lead, which I'm really hoping is going to solve the problem. But we shall see. So far I think it's working, but it could be that I record this whole episode and then realize it hasn't actually recorded. So we'll see what happens, shall we?

Speaker 1:

But I have found over the last few days as you probably know some of you we are trying to sell our house and it's a very long process. The market is not good, it hasn't been good for a while and we're probably choosing to sell it at the worst possible time, and we've been on the market well on and off now for like two years nearly. So it's quite a long process and it's a little bit of being in limbo and it's it's just quite difficult in ways. Sometimes it's okay and then sometimes it's actually just really awkward and really hard. And it's it's so funny because so many people have, like, sold their house and bought new ones in the time that we've been on the market. But this house is a bit of a niche property, so we knew that it was going to be tricky to sell. But when the right person comes along, I mean, they're going to love it because it's just, you can't find it anywhere else and I have found recently that it's been really difficult because the parameters have kind of changed and the pressure is on a little bit harder to actually find somewhere.

Speaker 1:

So me and my partner, we've been going out and looking at places because we don't want to have viewings on places that we haven't like even driven by. We want to actually drive by them and see what the area is like, see what they feel like, before we actually go and have view-ins. Now, randomly, over the past few days, we've actually had a couple of view-ins that we've turned up at places really nice places and people have been there and said, oh, do you want to come in? And we're like, well, yeah, if you don't mind, I, if you don't mind, I mean we're not going to impose, we're quite happy to set up a proper view. No, no, no, no, come in, I'll show you around, okay.

Speaker 1:

Now the interesting thing is that when this happens this happened twice over the last few days and it has happened in the past as well when we've done this, it's actually you get an emotional buy-in with them and I think they get an emotional buy-in with you. I think they get an emotional buy-in with you. So it's really interesting that, for example, the times that people have turned up to our house and we've gone now, just come and have a look around the gardens, if you want, come and have a look and I think that putting that sort of energy there, it gets people like emotionally connected and a little bit like committed. And the places that we went to look at they could be okay but they weren't quite right. But the emotional buy-in from having spoken to these people and listening to their stories and you know what I'm like, I love hearing people's stories of what they want to do in their life or what they have done and where they want to go so I've got this kind of feeling like I just wish we could buy their house so that they could go and do their thing. And I think it works both ways. You know, when we were telling people what we want to do, and I think people are sort of like you know, oh, that would be lovely here, wouldn't that be nice? You know, and I think people genuinely get this kind of feeling of wanting to like, help each other. But the problem is, is that it's so confusing when you know that? Oh, is that it's so confusing when you know that, oh, maybe that place isn't quite right, but I really want to help them and it's just so confusing. So, along with the pressure of trying to find somewhere we well me particularly kind of has this buy-in to, oh, I really hope that they find what they're looking for. I really hope that they, you know, get sold and stuff. And it's just been a very confusing weekend. It's been a lot of emotions, a lot of driving. We do love a road trip, we take the dog with us most of the time and we just have a great time really but it's been sort of quite emotionally charged this weekend and so it's been quite a lot to process.

Speaker 1:

And I've spoken on here before about like manifesting and like things like that. And there's lots of different views and theories with manifesting, but my one I'm very strong about the fact of I won't write down my goals every single day. You know I don't. I don't do that. I'm not that type of person or manifest, I'm just not that type of person.

Speaker 1:

I believe in putting out into the world what you want, like setting that out, that intention out into the world, but then coming into this frequency of alignment of who you are and really tapping into who you are not waiting. It's a bit like, you know, when people say, oh, when I get married, I'll be happy, when I lose the weight, I'll be happy. You know it's tapping into who you are not waiting. It's a bit like you know, when people say, oh, when I get married, I'll be happy, when I lose the weight, I'll be happy. You know it's tapping into what would that feel like? What would that feeling feel like now If you had it now? And tapping into that feeling and if you're like, oh, I know I'd be happy, it's like, okay, well, get happy. Then Feel that. Get happy, then like, feel that vibration within you. What can you do to get you into that? And that's kind of where I believe that manifesting is at its strongest is when you let go of the outcome, set it out there, let go of the outcome, but then come into like who you are and how you want to feel.

Speaker 1:

So by the end of this weekend, by the end of Saturday and by the end of Sunday, I was really like emotionally drained. I was also tired because we'd done a lot of driving and so all of that I felt very, I don't know very in the modern world of modern constraints, and I believe there's so much more than that with your frequency, with your vibration. So today I've got stuff that I need to do, like I need to do it, and I was like no, do you know what? I need to sort this out, what is going on with how I'm feeling? So that's what I set about to do today.

Speaker 1:

Bearing in mind it is Monday morning at the time of recording this. That's about 10 to 11. Actually, if I'm being more specific, it's 11 minutes to 11, 11, 11. Um, but Monday morning, for a lot of the time, and for me, but for a lot of people and for me included, for over the years, has been like oh, I've got to be productive, got to get productive, got to get stuff done, got to get it done. Well, actually, over the last few months, a lot of the time on a Monday morning, I will take this pocket of time for myself and I'm like do you know what? My to-do list is there and I've written it all down. So I'm happy that I haven't forgotten anything, so I can put the stuff aside for what I've got to do.

Speaker 1:

I have allotted myself a time, but today for two hours of push, push, push, work, work, work. I say work, work, work. It's stuff that I love, you know. It's planning classes, it's sorting bookings, but because it's like the admin side of it and it's not like what you deem as the fun side of it, like the actual doing it. I'm very physical, I like to be doing it, so the admin side of it I do find quite hard. So I am trying to let that stuff go and I'm going to push that aside until later today. I've got plenty of time to do it and set aside this time to really ground in.

Speaker 1:

So I started off with a meditation which ended up going a lot longer than I planned it to be. Well, I didn't really plan it, I just sat down and meditated and just see what happens. A lot of the time. My meditations, on average, are like between 10 and 15 minutes and I like to do unguided most of the time, which means I just sit there, I don't have any music on or anything else, I just go in to myself. Sometimes I need to be guided and some people thrive on being guided all the time. Whichever is perfect, it doesn't matter which one you prefer.

Speaker 1:

So that went on a bit longer than I planned and I was going to take the dog round and do some grounding and play ball with him, didn't do it he was knackered. So I didn't worry about that right now and I thought, okay, I'm going to do some yoga, I'm going to go and do some yoga outside. And it was a bit overcast and I thought, no, do you know what? I? Just I want to be outside, I want to do that outside. I didn't again have a plan for it, I just got the mat out and went on it and did what I intuitively felt like doing. And this I think is so good with these sort of practices, like you can just free form, freestyle what you want to do and you find that that actually unlocks more parts of you and it really helps to like clear your energy. And I also did like protection, energy protection and breath work as well.

Speaker 1:

So I really kind of like tapped into all these little spiritual tools I've got in my little toolbox to like really kind of help me realign and rebalance myself today, because it's not always just about having a good night's sleep and then waking up and going about your day. Sometimes you, you really do need to do this prep work for your soul because you need to be. I say you need to be. I believe that you need to be going out into the world feeling aligned with who you are like, feeling good about yourself or feeling confident, whatever that feeling is, where you just feel like, yeah, I'm up for it today.

Speaker 1:

You know that that feeling, and it's not just as simple as waking up and having a coffee. I mean, I steer clear caffeine in the morning. Apart from this morning, I had cacao, but I had waited until I'd been up for a couple of hours before I actually had any. And there is caffeine within cacao but it releases into your bloodstream, different than coffee or tea. So I never have tea or coffee in the morning. And when you kind of actually give your body a chance to realign and connect into who you fully are, it really helps you when you go about your day. This is why I don't turn to tea and coffee when I wake up, because I find that it gives me a distorted feeling, like it's not a real feeling, it's a fake feeling, and that I'm not about that at all. So I really just don't. I don't sit with that, for me personally anyway, and if you do, that's fine, but as long as you can feel what's real within you and what isn't, so to be able to set aside.

Speaker 1:

This time I found I find it really edgy because I'm like gotta work, gotta work and I'm like no, no, no, I need to do this. So I really tapped back into singing and using my voice. I wasn't creating my own songs today, but I was putting music on, particularly by Rebecca Campbell, and doing her chants, but I wasn't quite doing them as she was doing them, I was using them for toning. So I was like using my voice in all like different pitches and different weird ways to actually really like unlock these parts of me. So sometimes I don't just sing, I actually try and tone and try and go up, high, down, and it doesn't matter if your voice goes all over the place, because you also find that the more you do this, the more you unlock and also the stronger your voice gets. And this is why I think it's fascinating to sing and I never really understood quite how fascinating it was, and I'm sure that there's people out there who even sing for a living, who still probably don't tap in to all the ranges and like frequencies of their voice because you can go all over the place, but you can stay safe if you want and just sing in like one sort of pitch. You know, not really explore different ones, but when you explore different ones, particularly when your voice goes all shaky or a bit weird, you do unlock different parts of you and it is just magic when you do.

Speaker 1:

And it's a bit like when I've done the episode on humming when you hum you actually find that because of the inner vibration you have with your body, you expand the vessels within your body so nutrients and blood can actually flow much easier around your body. So this is why chanting and humming particularly when you see kids doing this as well and somebody I remember a few years ago said that their daughter, when they were concentrating, would just hum and they and they said, oh, it's the most annoying thing ever. And I was like, oh, hang on a minute. That's a really good coping mechanism. That's a very natural one. It doesn't mean anything either like, oh, you know she must have ADHD or anything like that. It doesn't mean anything like that. But what that is, it's a very natural coping mechanism because when you start humming, your brain frequency completely changes and you can actually think more clearly. So if you are someone who likes to hum when they're thinking about something, there you go. That's why you probably do. It is because your brain can actually process whatever it is much better. So this is why I'm such an advocate for like singing, chanting, humming, whatever it is.

Speaker 1:

But I very much tune in now to songs that really kind of light me up, because I used to love like Marilyn Manson, I used to love a lot of rock, and do you know what I still do? There's a part of me that does still like some of it Not all of it, some of it and I can't tune in to the darkness of songs anymore and I used to. On a weird way I used to, and when I look back I think how on earth did I used to like this song with this lyrics? This is awful, like this is everything wrong with the world. And even though I kind of knew it at the time, there was something about it that I didn't know and I just went along with it and I think so much conditioning. It felt like cool to go along with certain things and they grow on you and then they become part of you and you can't just leave them and abolish them completely when they're a part of you. It takes a long time, but I find now that a lot of music that I tune into really lifts me up. I love things by Rebecca Campbell is very like chance. I love Katerina Rain.

Speaker 1:

To be honest, following the story of Katerina Raine over the years, I'm pretty sure she used to be a yoga teacher. I think before that she was even a tennis player and I didn't follow her at that time. I found her on social media and I don't really know how our paths kind of crossed, probably about five years ago, about five years ago, and I found her and she was sort of just a bit of yoga, bit of nature, going out into like the jungles of Hawaii and she would be in nature and singing in nature and she was just toning her voice, so going like high, low, all different sounds and things. And it's amazing, when I've spoken to her, how much backlash she's had at times from people and to think that that's happened to her and I think, my god, she's such a lovely like spirit. You know, she's just finding her voice in nature and yet people don't like it and I'm sure people don't like what I'm doing. Um, but it's about how it feels to me and I feel like it's a good, beautiful thing and I'm not hurting anybody. I'm triggering a lot of people, but that's their thing and I'm willing to accept now that that's their thing, not mine. And that has been a journey. Oh my god. I was a much more of a people pleaser but that's sort of been a big learning curve over the last few years.

Speaker 1:

But watching katarina go out into the jungle and find her voice like that, I find it so inspiring and I was like, oh, that's amazing. Oh, you know, and so I think that set me on a certain path, by seeing her live in her like most activated self has made me want to do that too. And this is where certain social media presence between each other is good. But definitely, if you're on social media, try and contract it down to what makes you feel good, who makes you feel good, what inspires you, what impacts you, or who inspires you and who impacts you. And we kind of really want to like niche it down. Even if you get rid of loads of people, it doesn't matter. This is your space. So this I feel very, very strongly about, because when you start playing with your voice. It can be very edgy, even if you're a singer and you're a trained or classically trained singer or something, or you are an artist.

Speaker 1:

You've been doing music for years, this sort of way of going intuitive with it, I think. More recently I have found that Leanne Rimes she has gone a bit down this route as well and some of her songs are not what you would have thought back, like I'm pretty sure, like I used to listen to her 20 years ago, and her music now is very spiritual, very different. People are really breaking the narrative by going into this and my friend Dee was telling me that she went to see Cooler Shaker and they've gone very. I mean, I wouldn't have said that they were very, very spiritual in their music years ago, but I'm almost not surprised that they've gone that way a very, almost stereotypical with some of their songs hippie-ish if you want to go stereotypical. But you know it's interesting to see some of these artists are coming through the woodwork or coming back up through the woodwork with this kind of narrative behind their songs. So this is like a breath of fresh air, to be like you know, for example, like to do something one way for years but then to come into it another way, and this is what I find with the dancing.

Speaker 1:

I used to love doing pole dancing dancing. I used to love doing pole dancing competitions. I used to do performances. I travel all around the country to do performances. When I was a podium dancer, I would travel around London doing podium dancing. I used to love it. Now I love dancing. Oh my God, I love dancing, but I love dancing around a fire in a coven style setting. You know, that is not what I started out doing and yet that's kind of what a lot of my dancing is now and I love that. I loved just being out outside with the breeze or looking up at the stars or the sun. Outside with the breeze or looking up at the stars or the sun, I would dance in the morning, I'd dance in the evening. I'd dance in the night, I'd dance at noon. I love dancing, but it has changed, like the way I go about it has changed.

Speaker 1:

So to be able to have this freedom to move through your life and do life your way, let go of things that you've done before, that you're like, well, not really that bothered about that now, but I wanna do this, go into that because our life is here for us to live right now. And when you tap into how far you have come, this is incredible. So tap in with me for a moment. Think back to when you were a kid, the sort of earliest memories good memories that you've got of being a youngster. What were you doing? Allowing yourself to take yourself through some memories of growing up and things that made you happy, growing up through being like a teenager and remembering some of those years. And then growing up to being in your 20s and keep going through the different decades, through the different decades, through the different years. Keep going.

Speaker 1:

There's not one time like when you look back you think, okay, well, I'm not a child anymore. When did you stop being a child? And then, when you think about being a teenager, when did you stop being a teenager? Because you didn't just suddenly hit 20 and go right, I'm not a teenager anymore. I'm changed you, you didn't. You evolved and everything that has ever happened in your life has led you to this moment, listening to these words on this podcast right now, and you can't tell me that that evolution of you is not incredible. That is it, it's all. It's just absolutely incredible when you.

Speaker 1:

When you really tap into that feeling, you just it's almost like I don't. I don't know what happened. How did I get here? I had all that. You know, I've gone through all this in my life. I have no idea how did I get to this moment in time. I've got this body, I've got these organs, I've got this activation of being able to breathe. My heart is beating, my body has worked all of these years leading me up to this point and that is just like I don't know what is more incredible than that. Seriously, seriously, that is just so incredible.

Speaker 1:

And the reason why I'm kind of sharing this with you today is because I want you to know that you can unlock all these parts of you and you need to keep doing it because, like I say, like this weekend, I got very much caught up in what I would call like modern 3D things, like trying to find this, trying trying to do that, going to. Then, you know, what can we afford to do? Blah, blah, blah. You know, and it was just sometimes, I know it happens it's like paying bills and getting work and picking up the kids and stuff. But the moment that we really step back and let the things happen for us. That's when we tap into the magic. And I would admit, this past weekend I was very much on the other side of that and this morning I've really worked at coming back in to myself and part of what happened this morning was so I did, as you know, the meditation, I did a bit of breath work and put some yoga outside and then I put on some music and then I started playing some Katerina Rain and I was singing along to all of it and toning and stuff.

Speaker 1:

And my dog, he just like laid, he kept on the left. Wherever I walked to, he laid on my feet. Wherever I went in the room, he just laid on my feet and he just sort of curled up at my feet and I ended up just sitting down on the floor with him and he just curled up on me and I was stuck there because he's so damn cute when he's sleeping. He's cute when he's awake. But, come on, dogs when they're sleeping, are just so cute, unless they're having a nightmare and they look a bit like a demon. They're really cute.

Speaker 1:

He just he just curled up in me and I was like, oh, I can't move, and I just carried on singing and I was stuck there on the floor for about nearly 40 minutes bashing out some bangers by Katerina Raine the frequency and tones of her music I absolutely love. I had it up as high as my little speaker will go, so it's not particularly loud, but it was loud enough and I was singing along to all her songs. And do you know what it was? Just part of me was like I've got to get up and get on, and the other part of me was like no, no, no, just stay here. The other part of me was like, oh, go and get your phone and take a little video of him sitting on your lap, which you know damn well. He would not have stayed there if I had done that.

Speaker 1:

But these are all different parts of me that were like coming up, like the edgy parts, like come on, you've got to get on with your day now. Come on, jolene, we've got to do this, I need to do this. This is a moment where I'm sitting on the ground, my dog has chosen to sit at my feet whilst I'm singing and he doesn't want to move. And he didn't want to move and I was just like this is a moment. This is a moment that, if anything else, if anything happened today, that would be one of the moments I would treasure forever. Not getting my bloody to-do list done. That can wait.

Speaker 1:

This moment was more important, and it just made me realize that we are so much in a rush to move on, get stuff done, get jobs done, do this, do that. We need to take more time to tune into ourself. Now. That might be singing a song on your way to work and making that a ritual. It might be dancing when you get out of bed in the morning. Whatever it is, we need to make sure this is a solid part of our days, because otherwise we get so caught up in life that we forget that these moments are what we come here for. The hugs that we experience, the kind words to each other that's what we're here for. The to-do list can always wait.

Speaker 1:

We need to tap into what is important, and I thought what we could do together was actually to do a little chant, because when we chant, when we just lose ourselves in some simple noises, tones or lyrics, we can really just like tune in to who we are. It's not about what you sound like, it's not about how loud or quiet you are. I urge you to do this out loud, but if you prefer not to, you can just go through it in your mind and receive a chant that's incredibly powerful. To receive it and not actually do it, because it's doing it in a different way. But I encourage you to join me. This is an earthly chant that I got when I was out walking with the trees and we're gonna do it through maybe five-ish times. We'll see what happens, so you're very welcome to join in. Start by taking a deep breath, in Breathing out.

Speaker 2:

You do not have to close your eyes unless you want to, and it's safe to do so. The past is already written into the earth. When I tread with my bare feet, I connect to my roots. The past is already written into the earth. When I tread with my bare feet, I I connect to my roots. The past is already ridden into the earth. When I tread with my bare feet, I connect to my roots. The past is already written into the earth. When I tread with my bare feet, I connect to my roots. The past is already ridden into the earth. When I tread with my bare feet, I connect to my roots taking a deep breath in, breathe out.

Speaker 1:

I hope this episode has landed well for you today. Feel free to share your thoughts and your chance with me too. Remember, as always, to lead through your life with your heart and to live with intention. Thank you so much for tuning in today. If you enjoyed this episode, please do share it with your friends and on social media. If you have the time to rate or review this podcast, I'd be ever so grateful. If you'd like to follow me on Instagram, you can find me at Jolene Sensual Bean. The links to my YouTube and to sign up to my mailing list will be in the show notes as well. I look forward to speaking with you again very soon.