Sensual Being
A podcast hosted by Jolene, tapping into your inner wildness, and how you connect with yourself, others and the world around you.
With 20 years experience teaching woman to pole dance, an addiction to Yoga, and a desire to connect with animals and be in nature, Jolene will unlock parts of your soul you didn't know needed unlocking.
This postcast covers many topics including; confidence, intimacy, kink, intentions, and becoming more aware of how we see ourselves.
Sensual Being
Ep 106 - The Headphone Zombie Apocalypse
Have you noticed how many people walk through life with headphones on, completely disconnected from the world around them? This growing phenomenon represents a troubling shift in how we experience our daily lives - what I call the "headphone zombie apocalypse."
Drawing from nearly two decades as a pole dance instructor and yoga teacher, I share a heartfelt warning about how we're numbing ourselves to the present moment. When we constantly wear headphones, scroll through phones, or seek digital distractions, we miss the magic happening all around us - the rustling leaves, singing birds, and spontaneous human connections that make life meaningful.
The convenience of modern technology comes with hidden costs. From Bluetooth headsets potentially affecting our brains to contactless payments eliminating human interaction, we're trading genuine experience for ease. Most concerning is how this affects our children, who learn from watching us prioritize screens over presence. The heartbreaking sight of a toddler desperately trying to get their parents' attention while both adults stare at phones illustrates how far we've strayed from natural human connection.
This isn't about rejecting technology entirely. It's about becoming aware of when convenient distractions transform into harmful addictions. I share my own struggles with "doom scrolling" to emphasize that we all face these challenges in our digitally saturated world.
I challenge you to experiment with putting your phone down for a day, going outside without headphones, or spending a weekend being fully present. Nature exists everywhere - even in concrete jungles - if we only pay attention. The beauty of life reveals itself in supposedly mundane moments when we're actually present enough to notice.
Join me in reclaiming the magic of the present moment. Your heart will thank you for it.
- If you would like to connect further you can find me on Instagram @jolenesensualbeing
- You can sign up to my mailing list here: Sensual Being Mailout
- My Youtube channel: SensualBeingJolene
I hope you enjoy your day.
Jolene
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Hello and welcome to the Sensual being podcast with myself, your host, jolene Whiting. I have been a pole dance teacher for nearly 20 years. I'm also a yoga instructor and my favorite pastimes are connecting to my own sensuality, connecting with the world and connecting with animals as well. In this podcast, you'll find new and inventive ways of how you see yourself, connecting yourself with others, and also how you see and view the world around you. This episode comes with a little bit of a warning you may get triggered, but it's from my heart's best interest to actually share this out into the world, because so many of us are missing the present moment. Hello, sensual being, and thank you so much for joining me here today. I hope this episode finds you well and happy and, if you're not, please know that you have support around you. Oh right, so before we get into our episode, I'm currently on not that I'm counting the hours, but I think I'm on hour 36 of a fast. I don't do these very often and actually I think after I've recorded this episode, I'm actually going to break the fast and have some yogurt with fruit and nuts. But yeah, I'm doing a fast because I had been doing so well with eating probably 90% clean food for quite a while and then, ever since, all of this saga has happened this year, like with the studio and closing the studio, losing my pony, and all these things have really added to the pressure and the emotional side of everything in my life. Um, so I'm doing a fast and I find it helps to reset how I feel about food and whilst I would like to eat, I'm not actually that hungry, but I didn't want to do too long for a fast anyway. But I do also find that my body gets energized, I have better sleep and like my skin is like so clear today and like my skin is like so clear today. It's really weird. And I wake up like eyes being wide open and I find I have more energy. And I find at this point now, if I wanted to go on with the fast, I probably could. But there's part of me thinking, no, I've got classes to do tonight. I don't want to be fatiguing in class, but actually the opposite also might happen. But I think I am going to break the fast after this.
Speaker 1:Um, but yeah, I'm quite an advocate for doing like a 40 hour fast every now and again. Maybe. When I say every now and again. I've probably done it like maybe five times in the past 12 months, four or five times. So you know it's not a lot, I don't do it a lot and there's lots of benefits from doing them. So if it's something that you're drawn to, then definitely look it up. But I do try daily to do 16 to 18 hours without eating. So basically it's when you go to sleep, so after your evening meal, hours without eating. So basically it's when you go to sleep, so after your evening meal, you don't wake up and have something straight away, you just wait and then, yeah, 16 hours is actually quite easy to get to when you think about it.
Speaker 1:Um, but something that I've learned from this this is not actually what I was going to talk about at all um, but something that I have learned from this is I always said I couldn't go to bed hungry. That's not true. My whole life I always thought that. But I have now realized that I can and actually when I do go to bed and I'm a little bit hungry, I actually have a better sleep and I can actually do it. So I have learned that I can actually do this and I think it really changes your mindset around food. It really makes you think, no, okay, well, I can pick one, choose what I eat, because I find food is so difficult. It's like oh, that's yummy, I want that. It's actually. I find it really hard with food to actually get a good mindset around it. Sometimes I'm better with all or nothing, like okay, I'm going to just cut all of that out, I'm not going to have any cake, I'm just going to cut all of it out. I'm not going to have cake on the weekend, I just cut it all out. And sometimes I'm better at that rather than oh well, I can have it sometimes, sometimes it can be every day. You know it's really hard and I feel better when I eat better. So you kind of think why are we not all eating better to feel better? But there is so much deep conditioning around food.
Speaker 1:Um, but yeah, that wasn't what I was actually coming on here to talk about. I was actually coming on here to talk about a different subject, entirely a different subject. But this subject that I want to talk about, I feel if it triggers you and when I say trigger you, I I mean if it bothers you if you're like oh, I can't believe she's attacking me. I'm like I'm not attacking you or anybody. And the reason why I'm talking about quite a lot of what I'm going to be talking about is because I have felt this myself and I know how easy it is to slip or to not be in the present moment or to numb myself and take myself away from the present moment. So just because I don't watch TV anymore, or Netflix or films or anything like that, doesn't mean I am exempt from this, because I still feel it. What I want to talk to you about today is how we are outwardly numbing ourselves and we're not being in the present moment. We are taking ourselves away from it.
Speaker 1:One of the big ones I want to talk about is and I know I'm wearing my headphones right now, but I'm recording this podcast, is wearing headphones all the damn time, all the time, and I don't know if you remember some of there was a video. Whenever I've seen this video crop up, it must be about 10 years old, maybe more. It was done so well and it was actually. It wasn't a real, it was like a long form video. It must have been about three minutes in our standard today. That's long, um, that's how much times have changed. Everything now is all about shorts and reels and short things, but yeah. So this video is probably about three minutes long. It might even be five minutes, and it depicted before the sort of age that we are in right now, with everyone wearing headphones, headphones.
Speaker 1:It depicted a scene of somebody who was going about their day and they I think it was just looking at a phone. It wasn't headphones, it was just their head down looking at a phone and they were going about their day just looking at this phone. They were going past people on the street and not having any interaction and they were just basically missing their whole life because they were just looking at this phone. And it was either that was the second part of the video or the first part, and the other part of the video is this same person going about their day without their head down looking into their phone, going about their day without their head down looking into their phone, and they were actually having all these interactions with people, including an interaction with their newly new lover that they met and I think they met at a bus stop or something like that and oh, hello, hello, and then their life bloomed. That was the moment they met and then from there they fell in love. They had a life together and had children or moved in together. But it was these two different lives. One of this person missed everything from just looking in their phone. They missed all these interactions, including their future partner. And then the other side of it was having these interactions and then actually meeting a future partner. So it was like two different lives, two different possible outcomes, all from just being absorbed by the phone.
Speaker 1:Now this has gone on further. This has escalated, and I've seen this escalate now probably literally in the past I want to say two years this has really gone on, and whenever anybody's talked about a zombie apocalypse or you've got to prepare for it, it is happening right now, because I see people out and they've just got headphones in. They are not there. And if you are one of these people and you're walking about, running about or even on your bike, I see cyclists with headphones on. I'm like, oh my God, you are not paying any attention to what is around you. This is so dangerous. Once upon a time I remember with my Walkman being told do not walk down the street with your Walkman on the show because you'll get mugged. Don't get your phone out in front of anybody because you could get mugged, which is still the case now. But now everyone's so blasé about it it doesn't matter, like the idea of walking down the street with headphones on. It used to be the case and it is still the case.
Speaker 1:You are a brilliant target. People can just come up behind you and catch you completely, completely unaware. Because you've got headphones on. You're not paying any attention to what's around you People walking across the street. The amount of times people have walked out in front of my car and I have nearly hit them because they've just got their headphones on. They're not paying any attention, no attention to what's going on because you're completely numbed. You're in a different world. Whether it's music you're listening to, whether you're maybe you're listening to this podcast now walking down the street with your headphones on, or, worse, maybe you're cycling and you've got this playing. Turn me off and have me for later, not now.
Speaker 1:So I find as well, like when I'm going shopping oh my god, the amount of people in a supermarket, and there's a lot to be said about this. So I'm gonna go a little bit deeper into the supermarket one. But people you know, you sort of come around the corner and you're like, oh, you brush someone with your trolley and you're like, oh sorry, and they just look at you like because they've got headphones in and not even there, they're not even paying any attention. And now, if I can see they've got headphones on, I refuse to even smile at them, have any interaction, because I'm like it's like when you have, I don't drink anymore, and so this is worse. Whenever I've had a conversation with somebody who's drunk maybe in girls' toilets, and they're like off their head and they're drunk, and I've seen them the next day and they don't remember any of the conversation, I'm like, well, that was pointless. What was the point in that? This is the same thing that's happening out on a daily basis.
Speaker 1:People are just not there, and this is partly why I always queue to go to a checkout in a supermarket which has somebody on it, because I want the interaction. But what's all really funny about this? I say funny with gritted teeth right now, because so many people, so many staff on checkouts, they all have headsets on, bluetooth headsets. I will come back to that bit too. My gosh, there's a lot to come back to. Today they have these Bluetooth headsets on and the amount of times they'll say something and I'm like say something back to them and they're not talking to me. They're on a bloody headset talking to somebody else. Where is the customer interaction? And I am striving to keep the interaction, the humanity, the basics of humanity, to keep us together. And it's becoming really hard because at times like this, you know people are not always there. And the amount of times like I go to a checkout and you know I say hello and they don't say hello to me because they've got this headset on and they're not there. They're not doing any human interaction, they're just doing the bare minimum and it's so scary.
Speaker 1:One of the things I will tap into now is when I said about the Bluetooth headsets and I want to come back to that or like the ear pods, is that what they're called? Now, these all connect via Bluetooth and I urge you you, if you use Bluetooth headsets, I urge you to look in to what the frequency of the Bluetooth does to your brain. You might have to look a bit harder, because Google will probably not want you to really find out. I refuse to use Bluetooth headsets. Whenever you come to any of my events, I've always got my music hardwired in and they're making that harder because a lot of phones and devices now don't even have the auxiliary port to put in the lead that you need to hardwire a device, that you need to hardwire a device. Everything now is being relied on via Bluetooth and, yeah, I get it. It's amazing and actually it does make your life easier.
Speaker 1:But I am really not for convenience. If something is labeled to me as convenience, I will look into it a bit further. It's a bit like I try and use cash where I can. People are oh, it's convenient to you. I mean, I don't even know how to set it up on my phone to pay for anything and I'm gonna try my hardest to stay away from that as much as I can, because using your card, contactless and all this and using your phone all the time to pay is convenient. But again, when you dive into the Bluetooth stuff, please dive in to why this convenience is gonna hinder all of us and why using cash has got so much merit but it's losing it because, oh, it's so convenient. I don't have to carry any cash with me now, I just pay by card. The convenience is killing us in some ways and I urge you to look into. I'm not going to deep dive with her on this podcast because I don't want my podcast to be banned, so I'm just urging you, I'm planting seeds for you to go and look this stuff up Because, also, I believe in your discernment.
Speaker 1:You need to use your discernment on going forward in life and I believe this so, so strongly. So don't just take what I say as gospel, because I am learning and the more I'm growing up I say growing up the more I'm going through my years, the more I'm realizing I am having to unlearn so much I thought was right and I'm having to be open to what could be right, because I don't actually know. I don't actually know and actually, when you look into this quite deep, nobody knows. Most of the time, I can safely say nobody knows the answers. So when I say I'm looking for the truth, I am. I haven't found it yet, but what I have found is a lot of shaming around these sort of subjects and that gives me quite a red flag. Whenever I get shamed or hear shaming around something, it pricks my interest. I'm like oh, that's interesting. Why are you shaming? Where's that come from? And it's not personal either, it's societal and I'm like, oh, even more interesting, why has this happened on such a big scale? So it piques my interest. Something that I'd like to come back to, which I said that, oh, I want to come back to that was when I spoke about supermarkets and wearing your headphones supermarkets. Now, this might get some people's backs up, because a lot of things on social media now is being pushed about autism and ADHD and all of this One of the ways to help combat the like, the noise.
Speaker 1:The noise that you get, particularly in supermarkets around where I live. Tesco's is 100% for me, the worst one, a hundred percent. When I go in there, the amount of noises and the lights that are going on, it's like this is not natural at all. It's not natural and it really is it distorts you. Now, if you go in there and you've got your headphones on and I don't say that you need to be able to get used to it, but the problem is it's a little bit like when you go to the airport as well, the same sort of thing. There's a lot of noise in the airport and particularly on the plane. You've got the roaring of the engines, so you've got that sort of noise.
Speaker 1:When you take your headphones off, off, the sudden change to everything is so intense that it is worse, I believe, than if you just went in those situations without trying to do noise, canceling headphones and blocking it all out. Because when you do block it all out, you're not present in the moment, particularly if you're blocking things out with music, with podcasts, with radio or whatever. When you are actually blocking it out with something, you are not in the present moment, and when you're not in the present moment, things can take you by surprise. You're not really there, you haven't got any, you got no means to actually be able to deal with life. So this is also one, just one, of the many, many factors of why they seem to say that. Oh, you know, being on a spectrum and autism, all of this is becoming more and more frequent. There are so many reasons why this is becoming more of an issue in our life and I'm only touching on like one thing, one thing it, by talking about this, so much more reason why. But when we don't even try and let ourselves get used to anything or we just automatically want to numb, I'm doing a job that's boring. Therefore, I'm going to like disconnect from it. When we do that all the time, it is becoming harder and harder to deal with life, and that, I think, is something that we need to really think about, particularly if you are somebody who just likes to chuck their headphones on.
Speaker 1:I remember a friend of mine years ago. She used to be I thought she was kind of quite I don't know connected let's say connected like I was, and I remember that every time I saw her out walking, she would always have her headphones in and I'm thinking, oh man, you're missing like the breeze shaking the leaves, you're missing the birds, you're missing the little Russell, and then look down next to you and there's a squirrel. You're missing life. And it really surprised me. I thought, oh, and I've tried once. I didn't make it past five minutes. I tried once to listen to a podcast when I was out on a walk and I was just like I was so frustrated. I was like I'm missing everything. I was just like I, I can't do this, I have to listen to that later. So you know, I just I believe in this. So so much. You know, I see at a bus stop there could be a few people waiting for the bus to come along and all of them are head down looking at their phones, or they've got headphones on. Nobody is there and it's really, really sad.
Speaker 1:I have so much faith in humanity. We are stronger together. Our interactions, even if they don't lead to any more apart from a passing greeting, that sort of interaction is something that keeps us going. It brings us together in community. That feeling of walking down the street and bumping into people and saying hello to them is something that is getting lost, that I am not going to give up trying to get it back. Hence why I am doing this episode, because I feel so strongly about it.
Speaker 1:I also get why you might be wanting to drown out life, but I am such an advocate for life that looking for beauty in the mundane, looking for the magic in the moments, because it's everywhere, when people say, oh, you know that, well, you know there's no nature around me, yeah, you say get out in nature. There's no nature around me. There's nature everywhere. For a start, you've got the sky. You've also got the little weeds that grow out through the cracks in the concrete. In the concrete. You've got trees that line so many roads. There is nature everywhere. You've got the birds that you'll hear. You'll even have the rats that go looking through the trash. So you've got stuff to eat. There's nature everywhere.
Speaker 1:And also, just look at yourself. You are nature. You are a cyclical being that works with the seasons. Nature is everywhere. Even if you live in a concrete jungle, nature is still everywhere. And the thing is, when we switch off from it, we switch off from her seasons. So if there's trees around you and you're just like, well, no, there's no nature here. I don't live in a park, I don't live in a forest, you are missing what's going on in the world. And you might think I walk around my headphones all day and I still see the trees. And when they drop their leaves and when they regrow, do you hear them? Do you hear that rustle? Do you stop to take them in? Do you? Do you even just pause to look at a little weed that's making its way through the concrete, just to say hello to you? Do you actually even try to look for the magic in the mundane moments?
Speaker 1:Because so many of us, we're trying to fill our lives with so many distractions and you know what? Compared to 20 years ago, there are a lot of distractions now you can have. I mean, I remember I remember when I was a kid and I always used to want a little portable TV and that was a big deal. I never got one. I'm kind of glad I didn't, but I always wanted one. I was like, oh, wouldn't that be cool. I could sit out in the garden and watch TV and it just seemed like such a novelty. Now we've got it on our phones, we can be anywhere. We've got it on our phones, we can be anywhere, anywhere with any distraction that we want. We've got it all at our fingertips.
Speaker 1:And all of this is bringing us away from what is happening around us, tapping into our real feelings. It is dumbing us down and numbing us to an extreme. And I'm not saying never do any of these things, but I'm saying when you do them, why don't you pick a time when you can solidly focus on it and actually maybe try and do your walk to work without any headphones and actually just take in what is going on, bring appreciation. Bring appreciation into the present moment for who you are and how far you've come in life. And the more you tap into that, the more you will go about your day in such a beautiful way, and it was nothing more heartbreaking than so many times, because when I go on holiday, I go to quite a lot of restaurants becausebed out to what's going on, and it's heartbreaking because they're not there. They're being taught from a young age.
Speaker 1:Now, when you think of I think it's between the years of zero and seven, they are your primitive time for primitive time for development, and if our children are going through that time by just being stuck in front of a tablet, I would argue they should never be in front of a tablet. Oh my gosh, that's probably easier said than done, isn't it? Yeah, we live in a different time now, a very different time, and I do appreciate that and I think what I'm saying could possibly be the most natural thing in the world and the hardest thing ever. It's, it's both, it is both. So I appreciate where you're coming from, if you are a parent as well, because this time I could not imagine bringing a kid up in this world right now. Oh my gosh, you know, parents now, I think, have an extremely big job on their hands, and the more awake you get, the more aware you get whatever word you want to use, the more aware you get to all of this. It's making it so much harder.
Speaker 1:And I remember there was a time in Brighton last year me and my partner were having some food for lunch and there was a family of four sitting by us. The two kids were actually very, very young. One of them, I think, was a baby. The other one was about, I want to say, like an older toddler, so it could move about and do things, and the parents were both on their phones and the one that was the toddler had been trying to get their dad's attention and mum's attention to be able to go to the toilet. And bear in mind, if a toddler needs to go to the toilet, they probably need to go now. It took about 10-15 minutes for that parent to register one of the parents to register and actually take them. They were trying to call them, they were going around, they ran the table. They hadn't even the parents hadn't even realized this kid had got up, going around and actually putting their hand in front of the phone screen so that the dad had to look at them and even then, for the first few times, he pushed him away and I don't think there's anything more heartbreaking than that.
Speaker 1:And also don't forget that your expression when you are looking at a phone screen, like compared to reading something. If you are looking at your phone screen, your eyes glaze over children can sense that you're not there. Do you know what? Even my dog doesn't like it. And the reason why I'm bringing this episode to you is, yeah, okay, to trigger you. Yes, we all need to be triggered. I was gonna say just to make you more aware. But no, I wanna trigger the hell out of you because I want you to realize that life is happening for all of us right now.
Speaker 1:And the reason why I'm doing this episode is because I still doom scroll. It can be like I can be like oh, I've not got time to do x, y and z, but somehow I find time to doom scroll on my phone and 20 minutes later I'm like, oh, I don't know what I've just done, and I come on here to do something else and I haven't done the thing I wanted to've just done. And I come on here to do something else and I haven't done the thing I wanted to do. The reason why I'm bringing this to you is because it's important. These distractions are more than distractions. They are addictions and I'm not exempt from this, which is why I'm so passionate about it.
Speaker 1:I urge you to be able to put your phone down one day and just leave it for the day. I urge you to be able to go out and maybe put it on airplane mode so you get no distractions, but you've got it in case of emergency. Maybe you don't even take any photos, maybe you spend the weekend not really knowing where your phone is, because you don't need to, because you're so wrapped up in what is happening. You're so committed to being in the moment and not missing it. I will never stop being an advocate for the present moment, because so much happens. So much in life happens in those present moments, so long as we are actually present.
Speaker 1:I bring this episode to you with so much love. Do not beat yourself up for how you are or for how you've been. If you can find any awareness and it's triggered, you go forward with a new intention of how you are going to show up in the world today and remember, as always, to lead through your life with your heart and to live with intention. Thank you so much for tuning in today. If you enjoyed this episode, please do share it with your friends and on social media. If you have the time to rate or review this podcast, I'd be ever so grateful. If you'd like to follow me on Instagram, you can find me at Jolene Sensual Bein. The links to my YouTube and to sign up to my mailing list will be in the show notes as well. I look forward to speaking with you again very soon.