Redefining Joy in Every Season with LaTan Roland Murphy

In this episode of Coffee Chat, join the hosts as they welcome friend LaTan Roland Murphy, author, speaker & vocalist for a heartfelt discussion on Redefining Joy and navigating life's journey. Focusing on the challenges women face, the conversation delves into spirituality, self-reflection, and positivity. LaTan shares her insights on embracing joy through God's strength, despite trials and personal struggles. The discussion highlights personal stories about dealing with criticism, finding inner peace, and the impact of relationships on one's mindset. LaTan also introduces her latest book, 'His Strength, Her Joy,' emphasizing the importance of relying on God's love and acceptance. Discover how to live authentically, confront struggles, and maintain a sense of joy and strength in every season of life.

How can we cultivate genuine joy that comes from God's strength rather than relying on fleeting emotions or circumstances? For the episode blog and more reflection questions go to https://www.leadingladies.life/post/finding-joy-and-strength-in-every-season-with-latan-roland-murphy.

00:00 Outtakes and Eyebrow Talk
00:38 Welcome to Coffee Chat
00:49 Nashville Vibes and Cowboy Boots
01:27 The Changing Seasons of Life
01:55 Eyebrows and Bare Faces
03:24 Books and Strength
04:45 Family and Grandchildren
08:08 Joy and God's Strength
16:23 Childhood Memories and Pain
19:36 Appearance and Insecurities
25:20 Dealing with Negative Critiques
26:07 Recognizing God's Voice
27:34 Learning from Life's Challenges
29:29 Embracing Emotional Healing
32:41 Navigating Relationships with Wisdom
36:17 Intentional Joy and Strength
42:00 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
48:10 Wrap-Up and Resources

Thank you for taking the time to like, subscribe, share, and comment. Visit leadingladies.life to find out more. Also, follow @leadingladieslife on social. Amber & Lisa are authors of the multi-award-winning book, Leading Ladies: Discover Your God-Grown Strategy for Success, which dives into the power of community and empowering women of faith to rise up and make a difference, using our gifts and faith to shine brightly in the world. Watch the Facebook Live edition on our YouTube Channel @coffeechatladies .

Transcript

Midlife Changes and Grandmotherhood

Speaker 1 0:00

I'm going to probably add in all the outtakes right now. It's a pity that we didn't actually talk about eyebrow hair. Well, amber's making a new thing that she feels good for viewing. If we talk the most ridiculous, why don't you ask me what? There is a season that I really dread most about my body changes. Well, we have lists. I think it would be hilarious. I have a bunch of things and, on that note, welcome everyone to this new edition of Copy Chat. We have an amazing friend with us Nashville, do you have some cowboy boots?

Speaker 1 0:43

What's your hand? Do you have cowboy boots? I do. Do you have a cowboy boots? What, tan? Do you have cowboy hats? Do you have a cowboy hat? I do have one hat. I don't know if it classifies as a cowboy hat, but it's a cool hat, a Nashville cool hat. And do you have a horse? Do you own a horse or a stuffed horse? I do not. Look, can I watch? She does have a horse. Oh my good, look, can I watch. She does have a horse On the ramp. I still get all right here Lies, and we don't even make a mess. That's the best. Mind a horse, mind horses make a mess and they're big, fluffy white dogs. But to talk to you today, lat latan.

Speaker 1 1:27

We started our podcast talking about the changing seasons of life and the changing seasons of where hair is growing in our midlife and be a. Latan. Latan showed up. She's just gorgeous and I was like no, that our thing here is to be barefaced. And you made the comment that you had to have your eyebrows tattooed on. I had them drawn on, drawn on. What do they do? It's some other name, hina or something, something like that. I don't know what the girl you need. She does her magic because I have no idea that if you get older, your eyebrows are going to want to change into something else. They want to be mustached, half-baked hair or we won't even talk about what else. Let's not discuss there anywhere else. Think monkey, amber, stop, amber, stop, don't. She is not to be trusted. She is not to be trusted. My place that I'm starting to grow hair is like right in this mall, and I always thought that was the worst place, because you look like those old gypsy women. Don't plug him until after Halloween.

Speaker 1 2:41

We have some other things to talk about other than where our hair is. I think that we have to keep it real and I'm pleased you guys saying that I look so nice. It's hilarious because everybody who saw my post last week with no makeup on knows the real deal. So we like to show up how we are Mostly for me, rolled out of bed, lisa with her eyebrows, I have to have eyebrows on. Hi, bro, you have to raise your eyebrows at amber. Then you wanted to see it. Yeah, yeah, well, and that is something we have to do quite a bit around.

Speaker 1 3:14

Such a great segue because we're talking about seasons and we all go through many seasons of life as women, our change not only to just marriage, kids, empty nest syndrome, but we have a lot of things that go on and we all do with. Just life happens, it does, and we have. And Lutean has a new book out and I won't say who the amazing designer is, but her strength and her joy. There we go Right here. Yeah, that's her, that's her, that's the one she did that, that beautiful. Yeah, it's called Strength Her Joy, strength Her Joy.

Speaker 1 4:04

And I know you have a couple of other books too. You have, I have a copy of Courageous Women of the Bible. Yes, that's one. Connected Our Parts is our love for teaching about the women of the Bible. Yes, I love the thing. And then also you have one saying Becoming a Woman of Interior Elegance. I am intrigued. I'm intrigued saying becoming a woman of interior elegance. I am in a field, I mean, that both gives my most hilarious, embarrassing moments of life.

Navigating Loss and Finding Joy

Speaker 1 4:31

Then, really, then it's perfect for this show, right? Yeah, you and so you're married, unmarried, and this year, you guys, we celebrated 40 years. You need to know, I knew it when I was 10. No Child bride here. I know you have grandchildren, but what about your children? I have three children, two boys and a girl. And then I have three grandchildren, two girls and a boy. Oh, wow, yeah, that's amazing, it is amazing, that is amazing, that's fantastic. Yeah, that's amazing, it is amazing, that is amazing, that's fantastic. Yeah, grandbabies, I tell everybody all the time, grandbabies, they say it, but until you experience it, grandbabies, just, I love my children, I love my children. But I've turned into a different woman with grandbabies, exactly, and they're hilarious and they keep you humble.

Speaker 1 5:27

Mine will tell me, like when they were little Tammy, you have a baby in your tummy. Oh, listen, honey, I promise you, tammy does not have a baby in her tummy, you don't? You like bubble that we get. The little one pipes up and she was only two and she goes here, you do, tammy, right, there, I see it. I look like a hunk when I'm nothing, or a workout into yes, you want to break into song at that point, don't you? That reminds me of a video where my youngest daughter, after I had my third, she said is there another baby coming out? The things our kids say that we get a little bit, yes, a little bit. But then our grandkids say stuff to their parents. But we know that.

Speaker 1 6:22

I remember having my second child and my mom standing over me at the hospital and saying Honey, are you sure there's not another one in there? Oh, my God, you feel like you've lost a ton of weight after you give birth. You feel like I'm laying here like Barbie and then somebody comes in. Then somebody says something like you made your mom to know it's so big. Yes, I say all the time there are those funny moments, but there are also some sweet moments.

Speaker 1 6:53

I remember when we were at the park. We have two sets. I have five granddaughters and one grandson and one on the way. We don't know who it is yet, but the older twins. We have two sets of twins, so the older twins we were at the park. They were staying with us when mom and dad were out of town and I remember Nora came running up to me with some little dandelions and some little clover out of the grass at the park little clover out of the grass at the park. I just sat there and looked at those and I thought I didn't realize that the last time a little person ever gave me my flowers from the park or the lawn, that would be the last time. You just don't think about it. And all of a sudden I'm holding flowers that some little fist gave up to me and handed me, and it's all those kind of things too.

Speaker 1 7:46

It's this big circle that takes you from these funny outlandish moments to these heart-changing moments that are just amazing. Life takes us on a journey, right, lutan, as we said, the theme of your new book is the journey that we go on and how, at the end of the day, we're relying on God's strength and to focus on our joy. What in this season? You don't have kids at home? You don't have little kids running maybe some of them some of the time, but why in this season are you talking about this? Why, in this season, are you talking about this? Why I'm talking about this is because I need God's strength more than ever.

Speaker 1 8:36

I've experienced a lot of loss within the last five years. If I gave you the list it would be a little overwhelming and that list would include father, brother, best friends plural nieces, matthews. We have a big family and with a big family you will experience a lot of love that you get older. There have been other things. My husband had a 99 blockage in the widow maker and he will to be here, and that we get to celebrate four years of marriage is just a miracle that I don't take for granted, because there's lots of women that I talk to that didn't get that next opportunity to have their husband longer Because, as the widowmakers like to have fam and you're gone, and so we feel very blessed in that way.

Speaker 1 9:21

So I was standing in my kitchen and I was praying about what my next book was going to be, amber, and I remember just hearing that gentle nudge that I have learned to recognize as a Lord. You know how we have that unique little, not an audible voice, it's just we learn to recognize His voice the more we press down to His heart and I just remember asking what is the next felt need for me? Because I always approach writing from what do I need in my life? Because I write first for me, knowing that if it doesn't mean something to me, if I can't be transparent enough to open up my wounded places, then it probably won't mean, as my southern mother and grandparents would say, a hill of beans.

Speaker 1 10:07

That's why I need strength and joy right now is that life is a journey and it is sometimes full of laughter and hilarity and we can learn to laugh as we go and I think when we hit the wall with a sad place, we still have an abundance of joy down in us. That ends up being the thing that produces strength. It's like a segue that opens up this road that God can just come in and just fill us with the strength that we don't have. We need all that he gives and all that we're not. It's so true, so true. I know that it's hard to know what joy feels like, because sometimes it's this okay, it's going to be up, it's going to be down, it's going to be. Is God's solid foundation in our life, the assurance that he's always there and he always carries the load. That makes everything lighter. I love that, and it's not the roller coaster. I grew up in the Pentecostal church, so did Lisa. That's a main part of your up going and you're looking. Sometimes we focus on the spiritual roller coaster of yeah, a right hand. I'm a bit thinking Blanks Sometimes.

Speaker 1 11:35

I think something and this is a chapter that was very significant in our book Sometimes we feel like if we don't have happy, that's joy, that we must not be Christian enough. If we are focused or feeling the weight of those things that are not what we experience as joy, then there must be something wrong with our walk or maybe God's just not listening to us. And really joy is a much deeper aspect than just the smile on our face, the laughter, because we can laugh at the most inappropriate times. Can you have it? I feel like it's that little like when you have a teapot. Sometimes the most intense moments really intense, all of a sudden laughter, just something. We pop up and say something funny and it just lets that steam of the moment out. But tell us a little bit about that, latan, because I am sure that you have an understanding of what that feels like, the intensity of two very similar emotions all at the same moment For sure.

Speaker 1 12:47

I want to really be tender here with your listeners about this, because I think it's an epidemic for most of us women that we swing from feeling exuberantly joy to what is wrong with me, what's broken. Why can't I feel joyful when I have the king of Kings as my Lord? Something's broken and I want to say to you that's the time that you can press into your joy even more, because joy is not like you said, it's not a feeling, it's not all the expressions that we do as a result of being happy or joyful, but it is the confidence in knowing that we serve a holy God who owns all the cattle on a thousand hillsides. He's going to provide for us when we are down to the last dollar. Who is Jehovah Jireh, our provider?

Speaker 1 13:34

Who is the God of peace that gives us peace in the middle of every storm of our life, even though from an outside perspective it does not make sense that we should have peace. He is the strength. All of these things wrap up who he is, and just this little doesn't even scratch the surface, y'all, of who he is, but he is the God who meets us in the moments that matter most, when we feel the most undone, he says hang on, honey, because I'm not done the old writing that story in all of our lives. And he has this ability to be who he is and to give us his strength because he already knows our beginning to the ending and he said it's good. He says hang on, honey, it's going to be good. So when I feel that fluffy feeling that the world tells us is joy, that becomes my joy in remembering what God said, who he says he is, and that this is the God. You guys, that's not just up here and all around that, but he is in here, inside of each one of us. He's that omnipresent God who is everywhere at once and we carry his presence inside of us. I'm running down my driveway here in a minute, right. If she reads the camera, we know she's doing one of those joy sprints. She reads the camera, we know she's been doing one of those joy sprints.

Speaker 1 15:05

Can you give us like I know you said you'd been through some stuff. We've all walked through some stuff. I know that some of us get around to the stuff a little sooner in life than others. Not everyone has the stuff hit them right off the bat. But then there are some of us who've been walking a long time with a lot of grief and trauma that has been there consistently. It almost feels like from our beginning. Can you talk to us about what is an experience where it was so dark for you at the moment and then you realized I have to put one foot in front of the other? What are some practical things that God showed you to take hold of during those moments? You want me to go back to little LaTan. You can go back to whatever LaTan you need to to share that question, that answer. Need to to share that question, that answer.

Overcoming Criticism and Building Confidence

Speaker 1 16:08

I was that little kid who had very terrible teeth and was very insecure about that and who did not grow up with a lot of money, but I grew up in a house with much love and God. I didn't know that we didn't have a lot of money because you felt like you had a lot in other categories of your life. But then when the kids make fun of you or the teacher holds your picture up in front of the whole class and I don't think it was her intent to make fun, but it did embarrass me so badly at such a young age. And I remember that feeling of having the spotlight on me in a way that did not feel like edifying, it felt like critical, like in a way that I had not experienced that kind of criticism and exposure to something that wasn't good on the physical. And it's amazing how you carry those things through your life. We do, we collect them like they're little sad treasures, and they do. We carry them with them From the time we're young.

Speaker 1 17:11

We can remember moments, yeah, but we can also turn those moments, if we let ourselves, into the greatest strength of our character. And I remember, as an adult woman, running across that little picture of me grinning from ear to ear, and I was so upset that the photographer made me smile because my teeth were so bad. And I remember taking that little picture and putting it in my wallet and I said to myself my adult self now you will remember that day and this is going to be a source of strength and power for you in your adult life because you're going to be so intentional with how you use your words to others. You can purposefully just feel for your future. That turns from pain to power and I remember that. So that was a good thing and what's funny, I have to tell you the reason my teeth were rotten is my mom and dad would leave me with my grandparents and my granddad would empty a medicine bottle and he would put M&Ms in there for my medicine I think they all have. When my medicine was gone, my would. My friend says I need to feel, and he would get me more m&ms and fill them with mom's in that. The cutest thing. That was hilarious.

Speaker 1 18:24

I always say my little leather purse with the frayed. Remember back in the day, and I remember than me, but it had frayed little things and I was. I said I got my addictions out young. I would have my pill bottle with my M&Ms. I had my cigar, bubblegum cigars, my box of candy cigarettes. So that's working well, and that little spiral would go up in the air. Yes, so I got my addictions out early.

Speaker 1 18:51

But back to your point, though I had to share that. That's why my teeth were so rotten. That's funny. Back to your point, though. I had to share that. That's why my teeth were so rotten. The point is here, you guys, that the enemy loves to capitalize on our pain as women. Yeah, and he will zoom in time and time again on that fresh place that still stings and I use a childhood memory, but there are many adult memories. Yeah, and I use a childhood memory, but there are many adult memories.

Speaker 1 19:15

Yeah, I know that it's so hard, especially with appearance and everything. You talked about your teeth and I've had a similar incident with my grandmother saying something critical and harsh in a moment where that was not the best timing, to say that I would never look like a professional person if I had a space between my teeth, and I think that's why we were talking earlier. We do this barefaced because naturally I want to be comfortable being who I am, but does that mean I have to impress people with makeup or a well-coiffed hair every time? And I had to get over that. I had an eating disorder when I was early in my marriage, namely because I lived in England and everyone said Americans have fat bums. That was the big thing, and then I was just like I'm not eating anything. I got bulimic. I exercised all the time because I thought to look like presentable or to not look like what everybody else considered fat Americans. I had to go into a very destructive cycle where I was totally preoccupied with what I loved, right, and that was such a hard place to be as women.

Speaker 1 20:42

And it's where we scrutinize ourselves so much, and we scrutinize ourselves not only about our appearance but our godliness, and we feel like we can't be real. In fact, I always say we feel like we're lying for God. We want to have something, we have something to say, but we don't feel like we look good enough to say it in front of the public because we're such and such how many pounds overweight, our clothes don't fit us like we need to do. I see how that it can be a very discouraging place and it can also nullify what you think God wants you to do with your life. I see this across the board with every age group, don't you guys? And even when I'm speaking to groups of women, I've never felt more impressed and I feel like we share the same heart here. Just the conversation we're having. I can tell that we've all experienced that same thing we're talking about, and I'll see women in the audience and you can just see it in their eyes like that. They're older women, they're like in their last season and you can just tell that life has really beaten them up so badly. And I just want to say, girl, be thrilled that you can be like the palm tree planted by the river's edge. Do you know what I was saying? Yeah, he doesn't say you have your leaves, you have to look a certain way and hold a certain shape. He says you can be that person to the end of your lives, filled with life, filled with his strength, as your joy. Intentionally, not just physically the way we look, but internally, all of the stuff that we go through in life that helps make us who we are. He designed us a particular way.

Speaker 1 22:45

I often worry too about the women, the people who feel the need to always be tearing down others. What must be going inside of them to feel that it is their role to critique or to, and some of them I don't even feel like they realize they're being harsh or hurtful. Sometimes they think they're being helpful. And I guess, too, it's important that on the other side we are women who build up, encourage, speak life into others at all times your own insecurities to come into play and create a space where you feel like you have to. It's your personal job to tell other people how to be, because that is a hard, that's not a good space either to be that person that's locked into feeling they have to do that. Yeah, I bet your grandmother wasn't told to be mean. Yeah, I bet your grandmother wasn't at all and he wasn't told to be mean. That's right. Yeah, well, it's hand. Talk about even.

Speaker 1 24:01

As we grow and seasons change and as we move into seasons, we naturally we look towards the wisdom of others to help guide us in it, and a lot of times we need discernment into what's helping and what's those hurting voices, because I think a lot of us have gotten into a mode of what we absorb and then those things that we push away. How do you balance that? How do you see when someone critiques? How do you get that discernment? How do you feel personally when someone critiques in a negative way yeah oh, I have had plenty, we could go on for hours of that and critiqued in a negative way? Yeah oh, I have had plenty, we could go on for hours of that. People that come to you with an agenda. That is not anything from God's part you guys. I've had more than my share. We would have to talk another time. This needs to be like volume one and 20.

Speaker 1 25:14

But what I will say is to these ladies that have held on to that is that it becomes nobody's poison but your own, and you deserve to advocate for yourselves because you have the living truth within you as a believer, as a devouter of God, as a leading lady. These ladies write about it. You have the ability hardwired within you. Today, this is not my father's voice, and I've literally stood in the shower before and let the waterfall arm me on a day when I was struggling to shake it all and I would just say, in the name of Jesus, this is not my father's voice. That's right, moving today in what my father has to say about me.

Speaker 1 25:58

What can I learn from this comment that was made about me so that it becomes fuel for tomorrow in a powerful way and y'all it does Like it teaches you, like it's ugly boot camp, right, it shouldn't have been said. It shouldn't have been said yes. It should not have been presented the way that it was, in the hurtful way that sometimes I think women are like. My grandmother said it. Well, she said you know what, bertina, just because you grow up doesn't mean that you really grow up. She says old women are really like little girls with wrinkled hair and sometimes y'all, if we're not careful this was a challenge for me, first y'all. We're not careful, this is a challenge for me, first y'all. And if it speaks into any of the listeners, please, I'm thankful for it. But just know, this is the message I reach to myself every day on some level is, girl, you get to choose how you're going to use this heartache, how you're going to be, how you're going to allow these words to shape your life. You get the jeeps. Yeah, I agree totally, and I was thinking about how we let, if we, those kind of words can either poison our spirits or they can propel us forward.

Speaker 1 27:23

Propel us forward. And we can't sit in toxic and feel his joy, because the toxins of words or things that you've even and we've spoken about this before those things that have been spoken over you, they can affect the seasons of life and how you move forward through those seasons more than you think. Even those subconscious things, they can how you approach the next season. So, latan, in that vein, what do you feel Looking forward? How are you approaching this season in your life? Where do you see God taking you?

Speaker 1 27:57

I'm thinking about a lady that I met who was in a nursing home and she was trapped in her mind with herbs that her mother had spoken over. And I remember sitting there and taking that in as wisdom for today and saying to myself let me learn from this woman to let go of my hurts and heartache as I move along. It's a journey, like we said in the beginning, it's not always easy, but y'all, we can do it. With history we can. And I remember just sitting there and thinking I don't want to be if I'm ever in a nursing home. God forbid, you know, not in my right mind. I don't want it to be that last thing that's left lingering way back in my brain. It's something that I could not let go of, that it's fuel for the enemy to torn it, in fact, at the end of my race.

Speaker 1 28:52

So today, what I'm doing is that is trying to ask the Lord. Every day I say Lord, no matter what my emotions are. Y'all, we have this emotional gauge that sometimes it's all it just is. We don't know why always we wake up in the mornings and we just can't pull our big girl peonies up high in the morning Because there's so much going on in our lives at all times. I don't know about you guys, but in my life, every day, at all times, there are multi-layered things going on, yeah, and, and our, our attention is constantly this and this. But if I can just this, this one thing, if I can gift this to the listeners, that helping me right now and today is that I will center myself with the lord in the morning and ask him to take every thought captured by his power. Lord, let me hear the sound of your voice, let me recognize the sound of your voice Before I even remember the sound of anybody else's. Help me to recognize the sound of your voice. I can't even tell you how that has changed the scenarios and sometimes he's not speaking. Change the scenarios. And sometimes he's not speaking, and sometimes it just makes me know that he's sitting with me and comforting in the quiet places. You know, I share a day where maybe I don't have an appointment but I'm working through my head. Does that make sense? It does, it makes perfect sense.

Speaker 1 30:22

I'm at this point in life where we've been caregiver for my mom for several years and then last December we moved her to a care facility. She needed skilled nursing care at all times and it's been a difficult journey, but I will say that, as you were talking about wanting to be that woman someday who doesn't, when you get bumped up against, doesn't spew something that's going to tear someone else down, and it's no, automatically just by the countenance of someone, whether or not they dealt with this stuff and moving past it, we do become very childlike. In our later years we kind of resort back and at least I've witnessed that seem to happen with people and you don't want to be that person and when somebody bumps up against you, you just create this problem for them and how they feel. Personally, I remember a pastor friend said one time I want to be a sweet old man when I get old. I want to be that sweet old man. I don't want to be that angry, bitter, and I think you're right. Old man, I don't want to be that angry, bitter, and I think you're right. We do have to pray and allow God to help take those thoughts captive and to really get in there and give us that joy, that true joy, so that when we are bumped up against, it comes flowing out. Yeah, I think everything you guys are saying is just helping me so much today and it's so rich. This conversation is just so meaningful because, also, a conversation I had the other day with somebody was I think that if we're going to really experience this strength and joy, we have to reevaluate the friends that we're aligning ourselves with. Oh yeah, I feel about this sweet want women that want to be in, these godly women, and now we still want to have that word of God locked up and it's coming out, no matter where we land in a facility or Right.

Speaker 1 32:31

I feel like we can. I feel like there are moments where we can totally misunderstand each other. Yeah, we're so caught up in the buzz of our life that we start to really misunderstand someone's heart and their intent, and it can go both ways. We actually can be so busy that we're not quite catching what they're throwing and it's really not, and we can accuse people of coming from a space that they're not coming from at all. We have to slow down, take a deep breath and really try to put on this joy, this kindness, this softness. We really have to knowingly make a choice to be that person, because we just react constantly. We do, we are in a constant state of reacting and sometimes I have to do okay, slow down, especially if I feel like maybe I've misunderstood somebody's heart. You have to check yourself in that moment.

Speaker 1 33:28

I know Ask somebody to when they hurt you like this is the couple times I think I shot the person. But I knew that it was so hurtful that I walked away from that scenario. I was going to hold on to it. I just knew it Because I'm with them, I think the thing that I would say. I leaned in and said can I ask you, did you know that? The way it came out and the way I'm doing it Right? This is what I heard you say and I don't want to walk away from you offended. I don't choose that to you. I think that's perfectly. That's called wisdom.

Speaker 1 34:05

I feel like, as we get older also, we have this impression that for us to be these really warm, fuzzy, great Christian women who are wise, that we're always soft and we can be tempered but also have wisdom to stop a moment and say it's important, because I don't want to carry that. I think that was brilliant and I think that is something we could all start to do when we have those moments where the hair on the back of our neck starts to stand up and we're going what did I just hear? And that's that whole practice what you just talked about, letian and that's that whole practice what you just talked about, letian of evaluating your day and seeing what you've picked up in your day that might be negatively weighing you down. Now there's circumstances that we walk through that we know we're going to have to walk through again tomorrow, that we know we're going to have to walk through again tomorrow. But we have to constantly be aware of the emotional and physical and mental baggage that we take into the next day and it drains our strength. It does drain our strength. And how are we?

Speaker 1 35:28

A lot of times you ignore it. Yeah, this is the way life is. It's not going to change and it's not going to get better. It's like huge dumpster fire. It's just what it is. But we don't have to let it clutter the goodness, because we can allow the joy in our life to be cluttered with the trash of our day, the heaviness that comes around us, and we have to be able to clean that out. Yeah, that has to be able to clean that out. Yeah, that has to be intentional. I think it has to be intentional. You have to be willing. You can do it in a loving way. You can do it in a way that's loving to you. Even it's as simple as stopping a conversation and dealing with it is the same principle for yourself Taking that moment to stop where your mind is going, weigh it with what you know of God, his character and how he wants you to be able to walk in confidence through those moments that are difficult.

Speaker 1 36:39

I know we're always concerned when we confront situations that we are going to cause more conflict. Maybe we'll say something wrong, maybe we'll do something wrong and we risk damaging a relationship. But I think for non-confrontation you risk relationship because it becomes the uncomfortable place. We have to work on the Holy Spirit to give us the wisdom to know when to move forward in conversation and when not to. I really have appreciated talking about this because we need to get to seasons in our lives that we stop trying to carry the baggage of our days.

Speaker 1 37:28

I think that there will be a lot of people listening that just feel down in everything and they don't know how to unpack it. Maybe they've never unpacked it. How would you encourage them? Today is the best day to be born. It is never too late and you might be surprised, when you really get serious about this, that there's more within you than you realize, that you've shut down, thinking that godliness is passivity. Godliness is not being passive. Godliness is knowing when to speak and when not to speak, and knowing who lives within us and how we want to represent him.

Speaker 1 38:15

But we can't represent him very well if we're weighed down by all the things that rob our joy and y'all not having joy in our life. It doesn't happen. It's not like one thing that happened in our day or in our week or in our months or in our years or in 10 years. It's this slow, gradual progression that seeps in through the crevices of our lives and slowly robs us of joy. And it's all these little things we talked about today. It's about relationships. It's about harboring things. It's about not being able to speak a truth that needs to be spoken. It's about not having the boldness to approach somebody and say did you mean this the way I interpret it? Because I don't want to live offended with you, I care too much and I will walk away from this and misunderstand you. It's about doing all these things and being so diligent that we carry the presence of God. So we're representing.

Speaker 1 39:10

We are, like your book says, leading ladies, we're leading the way out, so it doesn't mean we always get it right. It might be that we're the ones that go and say we need to freeze. Exactly, and I have a to sharpen something against you and you forgive me, and it has worn me out in my head. My physical body is tired from it, y'all. This is how our strength is drained and our joy is wrong. Right, and we have a lot of ideas in our head that people bring us joy, pastimes bring us joy. If we put our joy dependent on anything in our lives, it's going to be dependent on circumstances, people, whatever. It will always be a roller coaster, always Right, yes, and we don't even realize.

Daily Prayer and Self-Reflection

Speaker 1 40:04

I think when we sit down with the board, if we're really serious about this, like wanting tomorrow to be better than even today and planning for it, when we're going to take a trip as women, we start getting our head around what we need to do to make that trip happen and that we had all the things that we need, that trip happened and that we had all the things that we need. And I think, if we looked at our lives, like we started this conversation so beautifully you guys talked about the journey of life, how it is a journey. If we could really get back to that and come full circle in this conversation. That was a beautiful way to start this, because life is a journey and everything we're talking about is not a choice to do one thing and you're done. It's all the time. It's always going to be something, because the enemy loves to create chaos in our lives and he doesn't want us to be strong and joyful. He wants us to be wimpy, lifeless people that are sad all the time and depressed and incapable of living whole lives. That can represent the part of Jesus that could, leifa, do you have any final wrap-up things that you want to leave people with from our conversation? I just want to take a minute and just go back to some of the things, and I really like what LaTan just said. We did start the conversation just being silly, but then we very quickly started talking about how life does take us full service.

Speaker 1 41:26

Some of the things that I wanted to repeat were you talked about, latan, just when you have those daily moments, just Pick a time where you honestly pray that God would help take all those thoughts captive. It's a truth that a lot of times we get so busy. But it's a simple prayer. It's a simple God, please take every thought captive that is just causing me to not get it straight with someone or not be able to walk in joy, not be able to walk comfortable in the skin that you created me in. God, take that captive and, at the same time as you pray that, asking him to help you evaluate the day. Did you pick up weight that you shouldn't have carried? Did you draw things in with you that you shouldn't have brought along with you?

Speaker 1 42:18

So technically, it's that whole concept of being in a constant communion with Father, just saying to him from the moment you wake in the morning, God, I want you to take every thought captive. And as you lay your head down on the pillow at night, god, if I picked up anything I shouldn't have, could you help me to lay that to the side? And I'm sure there are going to be those moments where we have to say, just like you said okay, god, I can't just set this one to the side. How do you want me to deal with it, with wisdom, with your spirit? How do you want me to walk into this? And I feel like those are just simple truths.

Speaker 1 42:57

They might think what kind of fluff are these women talking about? But we're talking about a very deep thing that the enemy uses to keep us from being everything God intends us to be. It keeps broken and stuck and critical, and that's not his best for us. And, yeah, we got to give that to him all along the way, from the beginning of the day to the end of the day. Yeah, and once again comes out like what poison we're bringing here. This is what we're trying to evaluate who are the key voices in our lives on a daily basis? Yeah, because we're going to spew that onto our husbands and our children. And it comes out whether we want it to or not.

Speaker 1 43:49

Lutan, as we close out this time together, can you close us in prayer for that woman who may be stuck in poison and not be feeling the joy that God wants to give her to walk freely into the season that he wants to take her into? Yeah, but you lead us in prayer. I'd be honored. Thank you for having me. God Father, I just want to say thank you for these women, thank you for these reading ladies that lead so beautifully others to your heart, and how this conversation has encouraged me today, Lord, I pray with my eyes widened than right now, because my fourth grade teacher told me to Lord. So you are the God of light and, lord, I just thank you for the women that are listening.

Speaker 1 44:32

If there are men listening, I pray that they'll look in the mirror today. They'll apologize to themselves first and ask themselves will you forgive me for being so critical of you? Will you forgive me for the things I said? Will you forgive me for how I've talked so poorly about what you look like, how incapable you are, what a terrible mother you are. What an awful wife you are. What a terrible friend you are. Will you forgive me because you are the daughter? An awful wife you are. What a terrible friend you are. Will you forgive me Because you are the daughter that my most high God, great Satan, aired my mother's womb, the numbers of hair that I'll have on my head, and God loves me so much. I am his treasure. So will you forgive me, lutan? And then, lord, will you forgive me for not representing your heart in the right way that it deserves, because I've allowed the enemy to creep into the cracks of my life. I've allowed these little tiny things to build up and rob me of strength and joy. And, lord, I want to be a woman who is able to represent how strong you are, how faithful you are, how you are the stronger one in the middle of our weaknesses, and model that. And, lord, I thank you so much for the show. I pray that you would just let so many people who touched by this that your name would be lifted high that you would get all the glory, lord, for every word that's been spoken today. We want our lives to glorify you more than anything. We will name, we preach. I was thinking this while this just came to mind. There might be some women out there that are just really struggling with what they're feeling as far as their identity in their day and the words that have been spoken over them, and I just think that maybe write some of those words down, maybe write some of those struggles down, what you've struggled with, how you've struggled, seeing yourself, and then in in prayerful contemplation, ask god who am I to you? What do you say? I am yes, and in that he will speak truth, truth, yes, yeah, lisa, I know that we're at the close and we have some things to wrap up, some housekeeping. She's the housekeeper of the podcast, not of my own house, but of CloudFood. Yes, I am.

Speaker 1 47:14

We are, as most of you. We are in the midst of our mini launch week. Last year, we were able to launch our book Leading Ladies Discover your God-Grown Strategy for Success, and just within this past few months we've been working on getting a companion journal workbook put out. It's Leading Ladies, my Discovery and Next Steps Journal, and so right now, if you are interested, if you've gotten the book from the very beginning we said we wish we would have had more space to actually give you journaling space and to go deeper with the questions the journal right now we have a little video that kind of walks through the journal and tells you how to use it in conjunction with the book. It just takes you deeper than the book took you, so we want you to get a copy of it, especially if you have the book. It just takes you deeper than the book took you, so we want you to get a copy of it, especially if you have the book. If you don't have the book, get the book and the journal. We have a little bundle available and right now I bet you Amber is going to be so awesome, she'll even put it like in the description so people can find the links to that. So we invite you to journey deeper with us.

Speaker 1 48:23

We have also what I might mention in our store, which I'll put in our leading ladies Etsy store. We have a beautiful gift box, one of which has been lovingly hand knotted by Miss Lisa Burns. So all our craft, these hands are always making things, yes, thump Like a fever. Yeah, we have this beautiful macrame key chain. The new Abide Leading Ladies Fragrance Spray. You're going to want to get that. It's so good, my god mom, it's so yummy, so good. And we have all these beautiful goodies in that. You're going to want to get that gift box.

Speaker 1 49:08

Did you know this month is Women's Health? Actually, I don't know which day it is, but Women's Health, official Women's Health Day, international Women's Health Day, yes. So if you need some help, get this box, get this book. Let's fan. Shoot your website address out, if you could. Yeah, I will give you that. It's watannmurphycom. I would love for you guys to go over and subscribe. Oh, that's awesome. Until next time. We'd love you to go to our anywhere. You're getting your podcasts. Please subscribe, share. We are now up on YouTube. You can find out all those goodies there. So until next time, take care, and God bless Bye-bye.