Ep 35 Building Resilience: Insights into EMDR and Healthy Social Media Habits with Dayna Quezada, LPC

Have you ever wondered how the traumas we've weathered can be turned into resilience and strength? Join us on this journey as we navigate the complex world of trauma-focused care with Dayna Quezada from Cozy Nook Counseling. She shares her personal experiences and extensive training in trauma-informed practices, cultural sensitivity, and EMDR - a game-changer in treating trauma. Diane’s unique perspective as a Spanish speaker brings a fresh insight into this important conversation.

We also tackle the tightrope we all walk with social media and its impact on our mental health. The mindless scrolling and the constant intake of information can be treacherous, particularly for those dealing with trauma. But, fear not - we share strategies for creating healthy boundaries and harnessing the power of a supportive community. The mystery of EMDR therapy unfolds as we delve into how it helps process traumatic memories and promotes healing. So get ready to gain a deeper understanding of trauma, resilience, and how to cultivate healthier social media habits.

Don't miss out! Join us now.

You can learn more about Danya and her work at Cozy Nook Counseling:
www.cozynookcounseling.com

Transcript

Marta Hamilton: 0:00

Hey there, amazing listeners. Before we dive into today's fascinating topic, I want to take a moment to express my deepest gratitude to each and every one of you. The TeleWellness Hub podcast has been an incredible journey, so launching it in April and it's all thanks to your unwavering support. If you haven't already, please consider hitting that subscribe button, and by subscribing you'll never miss an episode. I'm committed to bringing you valuable insights into the world of wellness, science and culture every week from leading wellness experts and people sharing their authentic wellness journeys. But wait, there's more. I'd love to hear your thoughts and feedback. Your reviews truly mean the world to me. They not only help me improve, but also assist others in finding podcasts. So if you could spare a minute to leave a review on your favorite podcast platform, whether it's Spotify or Apple or whatever it is that you use to listen into the TeleWellness Hub podcast, it would be an immense, huge help. And if you're as passionate about wellness as we are, consider sharing the TeleWellness Hub podcast with your friends and family. Let's spread the word about the importance of well-being, the power of science and just the ability to take your wellness journey one step at a time, through easy, accessible ways. Thank you for being a part of our community. Now let's dive into today's episode.

Marta Hamilton: 1:34

Welcome back to another episode of the Telewarnist Hub podcast. I'm your host, marta Hamilton, and today I have the pleasure of interviewing Dianna Kassada from Posing Up Counseling. Welcome, hi, marta. How are you? I'm great and I'm happy to talk with you or listeners out there. I have often referred to you other clients We've worked in practice together in El Paso, texas, and I knew that I wanted to interview you. I reached out to Backstory for everyone listening, just because you're my go-to when it comes to trauma and especially working with women and community violence. I found myself really struggling to make sense of all the trauma happening in the world, especially just even just signing on to social media. I found myself witnessing really graphic scenes, considering a lot of traumatic events going on that were happening, from fires, earthquakes, unrest and violence in the Middle East. I've had people ask me although I've been very clear, I'm not a trauma specialist I've had people ask me how do we navigate this for my kids, for teens, for myself? Thank you so much for coming on to talk a little bit about that, just to give us your insight, your guidance, before we dive into that I'm hoping you can share with us a little bit about. Why do you do the wellness work that you do? Of course, yes, I know right now there's so much stuff on social media everywhere I feel like it's constant all around you and it's really important for people to know, like, what resources they have, how they can help themselves. So, absolutely I'm glad you reached out. So I've been practicing for a little over six years now.

Marta Hamilton: 3:34

I got into this. I felt like for me, mental health wasn't something that was discussed very often growing up, and so as I started learning more, I started gaining more knowledge on it. I felt like, wow, there are so many people that aren't really aware about a lot of these things. And then also cultural upbringing within my own culture and mental health struggles and dismisses oftentimes, and so, you know, as I got older and decided what it is that I wanted to do, that was kind of the area that I was like well, this is something that interests me, and ever since then I feel like I made the right decision. Everything that I've gotten into. I started off at this community center that dealt with people who were victims of sexual assault and domestic violence, and you see a lot of the cultural aspect in that. So that's kind of why I decided to get into this Wanting to help my community, my own cultural background, kind of guiding the knowledge validation and I'm here now.

Marta Hamilton: 4:45

Yeah well, I'm so grateful you are, because I can't imagine how many countless of people you've helped, and I'm just glad that you were willing to let us record our conversation so that people out there listening might also gain some insight and some value from hearing about your journey, your expertise, your training. Why don't you share a little bit first about your specific training, because no clinicians, two clinicians, are alike. Everyone brings their own approach, their personality, but of course, also skill set. So talk to us a little bit about what it looks like for those people taking trauma specific care. What are some kind of credentials, what you bring and what they can look out for in terms of other other therapists. Yeah, so, starting off there, within that community setting, I gained so much knowledge training. It was really really eye opening.

Marta Hamilton: 5:44

So being trauma informed, being a trauma informed practice, having that kind of training, knowing how to be sensitive around it a lot of validation, not wanting people to open up this deep rooted wound and then just kind of leaving it out and then what to do with it. So, having that training a lot of it was along the lines of how to be culturally sensitive also, I'm a Spanish speaker the area that I live in there are a lot of Spanish speakers and so also having knowledge and my own personal experience within my culture, I feel like that was something that isn't necessarily taught right, like it would. Yes, you can go in and have like these trainings on how to be culturally sensitive but really understanding like Mexican culture and what it's like and growing up in that kind of family. I feel like that's something that can all be taught right. I think it's something that you grow up with, you're in it, so Even something like that.

Marta Hamilton: 6:58

As I continued on, I started working with adolescents. I was working with the juvenile probation department here within my county and still doing volunteer work at the center where I was at. I was trained. I have been trained in EMDR. I will get desensitization, reprocessing, and that has been an amazing experience for me as a clinician. When you're doing the training, they have you dabble into it as a client, somebody who has EMDR done on them. It was just an amazing experience. I use a lot of that the trauma-informed cognitive behavioral, emdr, my own cultural background to center my practice around working with.

Marta Hamilton: 7:50

Now, within my private practice, I work with adults who have struggled with trauma. I know, having that specialized training. I wonder, of course you bring so much value to the one-on-one session to the individual client. What recommendations do you have for us as a community when it comes to supporting our resilience through different tools? What can we do for those? Granted, it's not replacing therapy, but what recommendations do you have when we're countering a culturally traumatic event or something that is so impactful to so many at once? Yeah, within the community center where I was volunteering, I had essentially they had group therapy there. A lot of it was like psychoeducational. I was still working on my graduate degree and I went into the group practicum. You're learning how to conduct group therapy.

Marta Hamilton: 8:58

Again, there's all kinds of different group therapies. The one that I was specifically interested in was process, the process group therapy, the center. I was one of the first therapists that was able to conduct a process group there. We would have groups of clients that would come in where all of them might have experience like domestic violence. They knew that they were coming into this group to process health some of those Now, mind you, we wanted to be mindful of all of the other group members there and make sure that somebody is sharing something. It's not going to trigger somebody else Right. There ever was somebody that was struggling or who was feeling triggered. We always provided them the resources for individual therapy.

Marta Hamilton: 9:47

I use group therapy as an example for people to be able to connect and have a resource available in a group setting. Then, of course, individual therapy when you create a social support network for yourself whether that be colleagues that come together and talk about some of the things that are going on within their own work realm, or if it's supportive family members, supportive friends all of those things would be essential for a social support network. I know after COVID, it's been hard for people to either re-engage or go back into the community and try to adapt socially. But those would be some resources finding hobbies that you really like and getting a group for that. Those would be social support networks that I would say could potentially be really beneficial for people. Yeah, no, that's a great point that there's also just focusing on things that you enjoy and having those connections, social connection. There's just so much research about social support and on just yeah, just when, when it comes to so many challenges that we face in life, as social support systems so predictive in so many ways for medical and emotional, all kinds of ways that it can be beneficial in those areas. So I love that pointing out to looking into hobbies and things like that, absolutely.

Marta Hamilton: 11:17

And what about when it comes to social media? I feel like this is one of those hard things, because in so many ways, social media can be such a great, powerful tool to educate, to relate. What's your what? Just what are your thoughts on social media when it comes to trauma? Yeah, social media, just like you said, it can be so helpful. Right, there are probably things going on across the world that we wouldn't have access to for social media, even though it can be so educational, influential and something that you know teaches us what's going on. I mean, it's like a lot of times live videos, right, yeah, things are going on across the world in your like, wow, like I'm seeing this happening right now, guys. But just how it can be a positive thing, it can also be very detrimental.

Marta Hamilton: 12:15

I know people talk about like do scrolling, where they're just scrolling mindlessly and almost like detaching, right. There's almost like a sense of detaching, and what I tell my clients is if they're scrolling through social media and they find themselves like six, seven tick tocks in and they no longer remember what it is that they were seeing, there's a disconnect there and it's time to put the phone down, like if you have to go put it in another room, if you have to completely turn off. I think that's a really big signal of you're doing it mindlessly and it's not healthy. Also, to limit your social media intake I know people talk about it all the time where they're like, you know, first thing in the morning, don't pick up your phone, don't pick up your emails, don't get your date started. And it's true, it really is true. You're waking up, your brain is just starting back up, you're rebooting, you're just being started for the day and then, right, your brain is like ooh, like it's starting to look at, you know, these negative images, news, and so you're already starting off on the wrong foot. So I always highly recommend limiting social media intake.

Marta Hamilton: 13:38

And then the same thing for kids. Parents feel aware of what it is that they're watching. Parental control is really important and that was this training that I was listening to not too long ago and I can't remember the clinician saying but she was referencing cell phones and how in her home they use this rule where cell phones, laptops, ipads were only allowed to be utilized within the public space of the home. Right? So living room, dining room, couldn't take it into your bedroom and couldn't take it into, like, the bathroom, and how her kids bought her all the time for it. You know, kids turned of age, go out to college, and finally one of them was like thank you, like, thank you for implementing this.

Marta Hamilton: 14:22

I find myself trying to engage with my roommates and they're like sewn down on their video games on their phones, like I have no connection with. I just thought that was really awesome. Yeah, that's such a good idea Because it is truly Back when you had a wired phone. I mean, you were like in that central place. Yeah, yeah, people were listening to your conversation. Keep it as, like you know, snow and it's going as possible, and so I agree. I'm like man, that is such a great rule to implement because you have less probability of like kids going into, you know, websites that are potentially harmful. If something comes up and parents are within earshot of it. They can use that as, like a teaching moment of like oh well, do you know what's going on Like? Is that something you want to talk about? I overheard you listening to this on your phone. I find it being really potentially helpful, so that's something that I recommend.

Marta Hamilton: 15:24

I always recommend to my clients don't be on your phones before bedtime. It really right. There's all kinds of research that talks about like the light and how it impacts your sleep, and not just that. When you're asleep, your brain is processing everything that's going on for you throughout the day. The weeks when, after I do EMDR with clients within sessions, I always let them know, like there might be, there's a potential of probability that you may start dreaming about what it is that we're processing. Oh, wow, Because your brain continues to process, even though the EMDR session finished, came to a close. So it's the same thing for everyday lives there's still a continuation of processing while we're asleep. So those are some of the things that I recommend. I also recommend, again, a social support network where you can talk about these things, because I'm sure, as people are watching, they have questions, they want to express what it is that they're feeling, thinking, and so if you have a supportive social support network, that's something that you can process with them too and put the phone away and you can talk to them a healthier way of being able to talk about what it is that you're seeing. I love that you're mentioning so much about processing, because I just was thinking.

Marta Hamilton: 16:41

Oftentimes, when it comes to trauma, we hear, I think, a lot about triggers, like people are being able to identify what's a trigger and what might trigger them and what they might feel when they trigger, and I love that you bring it back to the hope of you can process this too, and your brain processes while you sleep and you can process with other people and you can process in therapy and there's ways to process in group therapy. I love the focus on the processing, the processing aspect of it. Yeah, yeah, it's all important for triggers. I mean triggers that they're I could talk about that for hours right, people's triggers and what's going on for them, the type of trauma that they experience, whether it's like a childhood self, with abuse, neglect, sexual assault, domestic violence, parents that were emotionally unavailable I mean, we can talk about all kinds of traumas all day long.

Marta Hamilton: 17:39

But, yeah, with triggers, it's so important to be able to, and I think this is part of the work in therapy, right, you go into therapy, you talk about these things and something that you see completely normal. Your therapist is able to identify that as a trigger, like, oh, it sounds like you're being triggered there, right, and sometimes the clients don't even realize it. So you gain knowledge, understanding, validation, right of somebody being able to say like you're not like this, because you know one day you woke up and you're like you know I'm gonna be over simulated and have these emotional reactions throughout the day. Like it's because of some of these things that you've experienced. In the end, it's validation, there's understanding. You bring it to light and then you start working on it, right, where that trigger may not go away, but it's not. We wanna get it to the point where it's not going to be at like a 10, right, the emotional reactivity could be like at a one or two, and there's understanding from the client oh, like this is what's going on. No, that's such an insightful way to look at it too, just to even have an awareness, to put on a skill too. So, as I forget that we can do that with our emotions, it's not just like a physical, not just, you know, I feel pain in my finger from zero to 10, there's like a rousal that happens in the body too, that we can quantify in our own experience on a scale too and identify what we're reacting to and then go to the processing part, because I don't know that I've really.

Marta Hamilton: 19:16

Have talked in depth about EMDR, which you mentioned, which also kind of brings in the processing. Can you talk just really briefly about how, how you think that, when, what are the process and what ways does that help with the processing or building a bridge rather from the trigger to the processing? Yeah, yeah, of course I like that you brought up like our own identification of where it's at on the scale, because something could be at a 10 for one person and a five for another, right, and so we see like the desensitization in that person. They might rate it at a lower level because they've become desensitized to something. But answering your question so when we look at EMDR, there's just the theory is that our experiences kind of get like frozen in time in our brain and it's fragmented and so we experience, let's say, for example, a trigger and we might have a really heightened emotional reaction to it.

Marta Hamilton: 20:23

So with EMDR we're trying to put all those fragments back together so that they can process out as this memory that happened then and even though you might experience a trigger, now you are no longer in that space, right. So we're trying to get the person to have. The goal is to have like a less emotional reaction to it. So that's kind of the processing part with EMDR. We bring together the memory, the emotion, and it's part of like having those things come together and process out In the here and now. You are safe.

Marta Hamilton: 21:08

And until that's kind of the work that is done, it works differently for everybody. Some people will start off with like a very early memory and their brain just helps them process through every situation since then that has caused that same emotional reaction and they're done relatively quickly. I don't think there should be a time span on people's processing, but you see it happening sooner than with top therapy, for example. And then EMDR isn't for everybody. Some people do really well with it, other people. The top therapy is what is helpful for them. So it really just depends. And you can do EMDR for memories, all kinds of memories. People have significant amount right. And then we start going into like the complex PTSD and they have an abundant amount of trauma, usually starting in childhood, and so when we get into that it becomes a little bit I don't want to say complicated, but there is some extra work to be done with individuals with complex PTSD. I feel like this is also helpful with knowing that all the help that can be done on the other side.

Marta Hamilton: 22:33

I'd love to probably have another interview honestly, just on triggers. I feel like I had so many follow-up questions that I feel like people would want to hear about, but I'm just so grateful that you shared with us. It sounds like main thing is don't look at the social media in the morning first thing and not at night. Your brain's already processing what you've got going on in your own lives your own feelings, emotions, thoughts, reactions, being aware that your fives might be someone else's 10, and similarly, your 10 might be someone else's five. You don't have to compare in every individual person's feeling as their own, and I'm just so grateful that you've mentioned so much about processing. There's a lot I had was not aware of when it comes to our experiencing and witnessing of traumas.

Marta Hamilton: 23:23

Any advice for those people who are working on specific goals or supporting let me back up any specific kind of recommendations I can't do we know we can't do therapeutic advice right, because everybody is different Any recommendations for those who are supporting a loved one who has gone through trauma? I think that question gets asked a lot because sometimes maybe someone's hearing this and they think I've gone through something traumatic. I wanna go get help. I'm gonna go find a trauma-informed therapist. You know, based on what the description you've given, what are some recommendations of what we can do to support a loved one? Yes, I think that's such a good question.

Marta Hamilton: 24:10

It does come up often and one of the biggest recommendations I make is to always validate right. Your partner or friend, whoever though the person might be, might not be ready to share exactly what it is that happened to them, and that's okay. It's okay for them if they are ready. If they're not ready, we don't want them to open up that wound and it's like all slattered out on the floor and everybody's like what do we do now? Like, yeah, so a lot of validation.

Marta Hamilton: 24:47

You might not understand exactly why they have these triggers or why they have these emotional reactions, but just validating right, letting them know like having a really hard day. I'm here for you if you need me, whenever you're ready to talk about it, if you're ever ready to talk about it, I'm here for you. So it's going to sound very, very validating. You don't wanna push, you don't wanna pry. I know that can be really difficult, especially with somebody that you have a lot of love for right, you're really talking about helping, but that can be one of the worst things that you do is pushing them into telling you the story or what it is that happened.

Marta Hamilton: 25:23

So a lot of validation and then just understanding there might be some days that they can't function at full capacity right. And just letting them know like I'm here for you if there's something that you need, if there's something that you wanna share, if you just need a hug, if you just need me to hold your hand, if you need a long time right, like a healthy amount of a long time. Of course, you don't abandon them or anything like that, but I would honestly just recommend validation, always validate. Let them know that you're there. That sounds really hard. I'm here for you if you need to talk. That sounds really sad, right. And if the person corrects you, awesome, right. They let you know like no, I'm not feeling sad, I'm feeling disappointed. I'm glad that you clarified that.

Marta Hamilton: 26:06

For me, like I'm here for you, validating is going to be like the number one thing that you can do, because it's helping that person feel heard. It's not minimizing their experience or, seemingly, you know whatever it was that's. You don't have to worry about that. Now, that's very invalidating, right, it's just bye. We don't wanna do that to them. We wanna validate. We wanna let them know that we're here for them. That is really helpful. I love that you even gave us specific statements, because sometimes we can't find the words. So thank you for sharing that. And for those who wanna connect with you, what is the best way for them to get in touch? Yes, so they can visit my website, wwwcosino-counselingcom. They can reach me through email. There is a chat option on there. They can also telephone call and they can get the information of, like my background scheduling, anything like that, within the website. Awesome, well, thank you, nina. Thank you so much for being a part of our wellness journey and having me. Yeah, that's just great to catch up. It was good to catch up.