53. Bridging the Emotional Divide: Joshua Reish, LMFT (AZ) on Fostering Connection

Discover the art of reconnection in a world that feels increasingly disconnected, as Joshua Reish, a marriage and family therapist with a knack for nurturing relationships, joins us for a heart-to-heart on the pressing need for community and overcoming the isolating effects of recent times.

Joshua brings a unique perspective to the table, not just in his expertise but as a male voice in a field dominated by women, offering a fresh take on empathy and understanding. This episode promises insights into strengthening bonds with loved ones, navigating the challenges single-parent households face, and the delicate balance of politics within family dynamics.

We also discuss the advantages of telehealth in Arizona, where the integration of technology in mental healthcare has thrown a lifeline to many. Our conversation with Joshua isn't just about the trials we've faced, but also about the triumphs in finding new ways to connect. You'll walk away equipped with actionable strategies to foster meaningful connections and support systems, even in the digital age. Tune in as we celebrate the advancements in therapy accessibility and share a collective journey towards mental wellness, post-pandemic and beyond.

Connect instantly with Joshua/Psychotherapy Associates of Arizona here:
https://telewellnesshub.com/listing/joshua-reish-psychotherapy-associates-of-arizona/

Transcript

Martamaria Hamilton TeleWellness Hub: 0:05

Welcome back listeners to another episode The TeleWellness Hub Podcast. I'm Marta Hamilton, your host, and today's guest is Joshua ReiSsh, who's a licensed marriage and family therapist and also the founder of psychotherapy associates of Arizona. Psychotherapy associates of Arizona Inc is a group of licensed therapists with over 12 years of experience helping individuals, couples and families overcome challenges and improve their mental health. They specialize in working with clients living in the entire state of Arizona who are struggling with anxiety, depression and relationship issues, and they enjoy the reward of seeing clients make connections and learn to take better care of themselves as they create deeper satisfaction in their relationships, hobbies and work. And because of that, today we're going to talk a little bit more about community connection, isolation and just how to strengthen relationships. So thank you so much, joshua, for joining us today.

Joshua Reish from Psychotherapy Associates of Arizona: 1:00

Yeah, thanks for having me on.

Martamaria Hamilton TeleWellness Hub: 1:03

I'm excited to dive into these topics because I think it's been coming up a lot in social media, in the news and just in general, an understanding that maybe since COVID there's just been a lot of isolation, a lack of connection, and people are feeling more isolated than ever. So I'm really grateful that you're coming on to talk to us, especially with your background and expertise in this area of connection and relationships. But before we dive into that, can you share a little bit about why you do the wellness work that you do?

Joshua Reish from Psychotherapy Associates of Arizona: 1:41

Yeah, well, I think that it kind of just came all the way from childhood for me. Like I was just always, I guess, more sensitive, nurturing or seek to understand people's motives and their feelings or thoughts. I was just curious about that. I was more supportive than bad. I remember there was a time in my childhood I tried to match the other boys and like fighting and stuff like that, and it just didn't. It just I just never, never fit with me. I was always more like just relaxed and try to get to know people. I'm a peer pressure tried to make me like a tough guy, but I couldn't pull it off.

Joshua Reish from Psychotherapy Associates of Arizona: 2:25

So, yeah, since I was a kid, I wanted to help people. That's taken various forms over the years. Like I wanted to be someone that would be skiing down the mountain and do first aid or bring people to the medic, because I was into skiing a lot when I was young. I wanted to be a doctor at one point, almost gotten to that. But I've had some positive therapy experiences in my thought watch, and this is a really legit field. This really does help people and their mental health, but also their physical health, so that I got inspired from learning about that field and doing it since 2011.

Martamaria Hamilton TeleWellness Hub: 3:11

Oh, wow, that's really cool, Just kind of born a natural connector and helper. I love when you mention the curiosity. I think so many helpers or healers or people in the space have a curiosity about people and connections, and whether it's on a physical realm like biological or wiring or brain, but also that intangible right Like emotions and personality. I think you see curiosity kind of come up in people's answers. I love that question to just kind of learn more about it and it's just felt like this has been, this has been part of your path for for a long time. That's cool hearing to you about this ski, the ski patrol person, because I have experience needing to be helped by ski patrol and my daughters too. So yeah, just interesting like a different perspective of like just always looking at how to help. That's really. That's really cool and inspiring.

Martamaria Hamilton TeleWellness Hub: 4:08

I. I think especially you brought up something about like boys fighting and matching. Our field and the mental health field is predominantly women. So I guess, before we dive into just more of the areas of your expertise, I'm curious about your, your experience as a, as a male, as a man, in graduate school, in clinical work and just kind of if you could talk about that a little bit.

Joshua Reish from Psychotherapy Associates of Arizona: 4:39

Yeah, it's been, it's been good.

Joshua Reish from Psychotherapy Associates of Arizona: 4:41

I've always felt respected as a man. Like even early into my master's program for American Thalbetherecty it was said repeatedly to me that like there's very few men in the field, so like it's very special that you're here and also very needed because some clients you know, for example, people that maybe have experienced their dad not being around very much or something like that are having a lot of male relatives and sometimes that matters, you know, that can make a difference in the therapeutic relationship which is central to the change process. So, yeah, I've always felt really empowered and respected and I think like, yeah, I just had a great positive experience as in you know, like, like, I think the male biology and the male brain and the brain's something different and but being around a lot of women, it's also made me learn to be more sensitive to a lot of therapists that I've come to know are, you know, naturally, kind of nurturing or you know, sensitive and they think fun things like synthesizing me to just listening better. So, yeah, just been a great learning experience, say.

Martamaria Hamilton TeleWellness Hub: 6:00

Yeah, yeah, I was curious as well before we hit record and just in our conversations when I remember mentioning oh my gosh I have when I was in the Southwest, you know in El Paso. Just sometimes people would contact me about referrals from New Mexico and also Arizona and it's people will specifically ask I need a male therapist to help with this, and it can be harder to find. So I'm so glad that you didn't feel, I guess, disempowered by being a minority in a graduate program in the mental health field and that you took the opportunity to grow in your own clinical skills. It sounds like just being listening more in a different way and nurturing and all those things and also just the value you bring. So I appreciate you coming on here and sharing your perspective.

Martamaria Hamilton TeleWellness Hub: 6:58

You know, diving into that kind of connection piece, the isolation piece. This is something I'm really curious about because so often I've worked with parents who maybe worked with, who had teenagers, or maybe spouses or partners, who said you know, I just feel like something's off with my loved one, like they're just like in their room. They don't really want to hang out, they don't want to really connect. So what are some signs that friends, family or community members should be aware of. That might indicate that maybe someone is experiencing loneliness or struggling with their mental health.

Joshua Reish from Psychotherapy Associates of Arizona: 7:37

Yeah, that's a good question. I think it's there's. There are a ton of things that someone could be looking for and like their loved one or their friends, yeah, like if they're isolating more than normal, if they're tending to eat more, gaining weight, eating less we, you know, like changing our sleep habits, tending to use alcohol or drugs in the first place or more than they usually do, maybe they're skipping school. It could be getting sick more often, like physically or mentally. They could just, you know, they walk with their head down or they feel nervous, maybe they don't want to go to the store or anything like that. Yeah, there's a lot of things, just changes in behavior that they're kind of be more negative or more isolated. And, you know, maybe short answers, more shy than usual, just kind of everything it's huge, from minimal things.

Martamaria Hamilton TeleWellness Hub: 8:48

What are some suggestions you would have for the family members, like, maybe they're noticing that they're sleeping, you mentioned the sleeping might be off, they're isolated and they're sleeping a lot and, like you mentioned, they don't want to kind of participate in activity outside the home with them or go to the store or different things like that. Any kind of recommendations that you would have or suggestions in terms of how to approach them, how to have a conversation about that?

Joshua Reish from Psychotherapy Associates of Arizona: 9:11

My approach is always like how I do with clients or how I do with family members that are struggling, or is I tend to just go straightforward, like I just tell them hey, I see something's different. I observe, you know, feeling like you're not going out with your friends anymore, or I notice that you're not really answering my calls or you're whatever. I notice this behavior and I'm kind of concerned and I'd like to know if there's any way I can help or, if there's, you know, something going on for you that you want to talk about and just gonna take it from there. You know you might run into resistance, like maybe they're mad at you, for example, or you know they're very upset with something else in their life, and then, whether they're mad at me or they're mad at someone else, or they're struggling with something unrelated, then I just began by using a lot of active listening, like reflective listening, rearing statements, and I just try to be there with them, you know, more than trying to fix it or kind of get an inspirational speech or anything like that. Not that those things don't have any place, but I think if you notice that someone's in distress, then it's really important. It's just to one of the things they taught us in graduate school, like align your nervous system with theirs. So let yourself be moved by what you're doing.

Joshua Reish from Psychotherapy Associates of Arizona: 10:44

Your last questions be curious. Don't give your own input for a time, like you know. Suspend that until you can see that they're open to you. You know, like they're sort of maybe they start to ask you a question, or maybe they start to play a little bit, or they get curious, they move outside of their own problem, and that's when you know that you can go into a different phase, such as problem solving. But you know, one of the things that I think, because I put my clients and this is one of people have they, which I know it's the biased sampling of the population, but like people say that that, oh, I have my always, I feel what is your support system? And they'll say, well, I have my parents, I've got this one friend and and you know they're, they're good to talk to and all a lot, and but I can't talk to them about this, and so that's why I'm looking for a therapist. And so you know our job as therapists, right, is to like get us out of a job.

Joshua Reish from Psychotherapy Associates of Arizona: 11:44

And so day one I'm thinking like, okay, how can I, how can I plant seeds?

Joshua Reish from Psychotherapy Associates of Arizona: 11:50

So, where this person is going to begin to, after what they need, right or or or be supported by people, like, first of all, they may need to discover what they mean and and so my place and just being a careful listener that doesn't give a whole lot of input is to Let them unfold, let them discover what they even feel I need, if that's that's the case, and then from there you can normalize, like what's going on for them, probably giving like some me to statements, and yeah, it's kind of my approach to just listening to clients, you, family and friends, this, you know, like this art and I Think sometimes just a conversation where someone's listening well to you it's.

Joshua Reish from Psychotherapy Associates of Arizona: 12:41

You can chart things around, you know, sometimes feel like it's the end of the world and no one cares, and maybe If you could even have suicidal thoughts because they feel like you have to look like, go to, and so I feel like just listening to one another, especially in the political environment there's so much divide, like you know, government politics, for like social politics and things like that. So I Think that those things don't have to be. We can have disagreements, but we don't have to be Me so disconnected like we can. We can learn from people that Disappear us, and sometimes we're more more alike than we. Then we thought, because we took the time with us and I.

Martamaria Hamilton TeleWellness Hub: 13:22

Think something you brought up is so important to emphasize that you you mentioned you know the, the power of, of a therapist that you know is there to listen and you and of course I'm biased right as a therapist myself, but I mean the research shows and we know that there's power in and Having a non-judgmental person who is trained to be there to listen and who absolutely Thinks that you matter so much not to say that other loved ones don't think that you matter, but to really emphasize to their client like you matter, your life matters. I think. I think there's a lot of power in that and I love that you brought up curiosity is really a suggestion for the family members. It's just tying it see your natural curiosity and other people and different things, and without having a and being really direct and saying I see this, you know I'm curious about you, know what's been going on, how you're feeling, and not going into problem-solving right away or motivational speech, like you said, but just having an opportunity to listen to what they're saying and to give them an opportunity to discover themselves, like also just discover, and I think that's awesome that you do that in your approach with with clients is helping them discover how they're feeling and what they need to be left Be an advocate for themselves also and their needs. And I love what you said is like our goals to work ourselves out of a job, because I I often, often talk about that as well just in clinical work it's, it's just wonderful to see people grow and thrive and and feel empowered and and knowing that you're still there if they need to come back for therapy. But to see them be able to do that just it's really just an honor to be a therapist. I often tell people it seems like you you have that same passion and feeling.

Martamaria Hamilton TeleWellness Hub: 15:15

You know you mentioned about society being disconnected, without doing too much of a deep dive, because I'm sure we can talk about this a lot, but there's so many avenues to take it down. But what do you think? What are some things that you're seeing in terms of your therapy practice or with your clients? Like how does disconnection show up? Is it like society stuff? Is it family stuff? All of those things like what are you seeing when it comes to being disconnected?

Joshua Reish from Psychotherapy Associates of Arizona: 15:46

Yeah, I honestly don't think I've gotten close to the bottom of it. I try to read research and I'm learning from my clients constantly, just kind of keeping my hand on the pulse of society, like what's trending, like how are people dealing with things? Like how are people feeling, how are people making community? I don't know. I just know there's a lot of different things going on that are not good for human connection. I know sometimes people just blame social media. I don't know, like I think that can definitely be a problem. Like if people just they don't have anything else besides that, that can have some issues like echo chamber, or maybe it could be like online bullying.

Martamaria Hamilton TeleWellness Hub: 16:47

What is echo chamber? I'm so sorry to interrupt you. What is that?

Joshua Reish from Psychotherapy Associates of Arizona: 16:52

That's sort of like an idea that how do you say it? Like people would just listen to the kind of news or being the kind of circles.

Martamaria Hamilton TeleWellness Hub: 17:03

Oh, okay, I hadn't heard that.

Joshua Reish from Psychotherapy Associates of Arizona: 17:05

Yeah.

Martamaria Hamilton TeleWellness Hub: 17:06

Yeah, yes, okay, yeah, I could see how that and some of it is like the algorithms or the type of social media where they only will portray a certain type of perspective right to you.

Joshua Reish from Psychotherapy Associates of Arizona: 17:18

Yeah, and so I know there's things that you probably know about too, like so much, so many families that are literally broken apart, like single parent homes. Not judging that just to notice that that can be stressful for kids, for instance, but also for the parents too, because they're like the sole breadwinner and they're like parenting on their own oftentimes, and that's the thing People having kids later on live. And if people have two or kids now in previous decades and I think that's part of I'm not saying that's all bad, but I think one positive thing that that leads out is like the socialization that you have from siblings, so that could be a buffer, like if you have a rough child, then at least you have your sister or brother to go to, or so I don't know. There's just a lot of different things going on. I feel like politics is more something that is a touchy subject for a lot of people than before.

Martamaria Hamilton TeleWellness Hub: 18:29

Yeah, because it even creates divide in families where before there might not be conflict, right? Or I've seen that come up and just really in previous client work, right, like people not being able to gather for Thanksgiving because of someone else's perspective and political, and so there's even less connection, physical or communication, like being able to physically be disconnected, emotionally maybe having less communication as well. Yeah, it's interesting. You say you have gone to the bottom of it and I feel the same way. It's interesting. I know there's some research and stuff, but it's hard. So in your line of work you create a lot of support and you wanna be there to create mutual support for your clients and support in the community and you're great at like rapport building and really affirming people Like what can you share with us a little bit about? Like how you do that and in case it could help inspire listeners and saying I wanna be able to support more and I wanna connect more with community and or my loved ones be able to reach out and fill that gap of disconnect.

Joshua Reish from Psychotherapy Associates of Arizona: 19:44

Yeah, yeah, so basically how to connect better with their loved ones. Like, when you say that, I kinda get overwhelmed by like so many different thoughts, but I'll try to keep it simple. Yeah, I think you know the things I mentioned earlier, like the rapport building exercises, like how to listen actively is huge, just like what the foundation might say. And then I think, like play is very important and yeah, you know this, like finding a way to like make light of things, like start with poking fun at yourself and then see how a person responds, see if you can get away with doing that to them, you know, in small ways, see how they do with a little tiny dose of that and then see if they reciprocate it. And yeah, I found that people that can have a sense of humor about their issues you know, in therapy but also my personal experience and with my family relationships, with friends Like it allows some of that tension to dissipate and then you can kind of like be more self-accepting because you're not trying to be taking so seriously or maintain a facade of togetherness or whatever. So I think, just practically do things together, go on long drives or walks Sometimes that's where good conversations happen or maybe having a conversation and all of a sudden your son or your significant other starts talking to you or usually talking you know the blood flow gets going, the chain of scenery, you know. There's just, I think, having community to go to regularly whether it's like a book club or volunteering somewhere, a safe community, like a meet-up group, even place in sports the more like contacting people that are like-minded and that are like positive. It's a positive framework, shared values, and it's going to help allow you to connect and to feel affirmed and you get to do that for others and that's really going to be, it's very easy to say, hard to do.

Joshua Reish from Psychotherapy Associates of Arizona: 22:10

I know, for a lot of people come and say there's some fear factors. Sometimes, especially with COVID, I feel like people. So many people have told me like, oh, since COVID happened we've been so isolated like I kind of forgot how to talk to people or I don't want to, I don't feel like talking to anybody anymore. So it kind of seems almost like whether it's a fear thing or just people not being accustomed to it.

Joshua Reish from Psychotherapy Associates of Arizona: 22:31

I think we got to get, we have to kind of just put ourselves out there and you know, you know, make yourself go through the normal checkout lane at the store, you know, for example, you know, just take baby steps, and that's part of what I do with therapy is how do we make it small enough for you to approach the thing that you're scared of or daunted by? And you know, go ahead and do that, and how can I support you in that? And you know, when you come back and you've done it and then we'll take it one step further, and that's one way that we can support each other, to hold each other accountable and realize that a lot of people are struggling too. So it's so. We're not, you're not allowing, you know, we're just listening but not allowing it. It's, we need each other and it's.

Martamaria Hamilton TeleWellness Hub: 23:23

There's a lot of, there's a lot of commonality and yeah, and you know you bring up a really interesting topic that I had seen and thought about too. You know, covid was a shared experience. It's one of those experiences where it shifted things for so many, and even therapists. So so if, if you're listening, like you said, you're not alone, and not only you're not alone, if you're feeling disconnected and you're feeling isolated, maybe there was a shift, especially after COVID, I guarantee you a lot of therapists even felt like they experienced the same, the same shifts and changes themselves. So you know, you brought up, like actually going to the grocery store.

Martamaria Hamilton TeleWellness Hub: 24:07

I, you know, I still, I have to sometimes remind myself like, oh, I have to go inside rather than like to pick up that I scheduled, like there there are little things in which life has changed for a lot of us. So I, I love that you bring that up curiosity, listening, community and just kind of normalizing that you're not alone. And not only are you not alone, but there are therapists that are genuinely there, training, have done training experience to support you and maybe even can relate to some of those experiences of challenges, especially after COVID and the disconnect. Yeah, yeah, how can people connect with you, joshua?

Joshua Reish from Psychotherapy Associates of Arizona: 24:56

They can visit my profile on tele-wellness stuff or the Societies of Arizona, where we process of getting our websites going. So you could find it, but if on this air, possibly under that name, yeah, they can also feel free to email me at Joshuakoshuay, at Joshuardshlmfthushcom, and I will personally answer their emails.

Martamaria Hamilton TeleWellness Hub: 25:31

Yeah, thanks so much, deb, because I do know that on your tele-wellness hub profile we're going to upload this year, but I know that you have a way to contact and email directly from there. So yeah, joshua is one of our amazing providers that is listed on tele-wellness hub and you can connect with him and the group practice there to be able to psychotherapy. Associates of Arizona. And that's the beauty of, I will say, we talked about COVID and the disconnect. Telehealth really became more of a norm, which is one of the. I think there are so many pros that came out of increased technology and I think increased access to a therapist is one of them. So, joshua, thanks so much for your time and your wisdom and your insight and thank you so much for being a part of our wellness journey today.

Joshua Reish from Psychotherapy Associates of Arizona: 26:23

Sure Thanks for having me on.