Coming Home to Yourself: Trans Identity, C-PTSD, and the Path to Healing with Noah Buchanan, APCC

We sit down with Noah Buchanan, Associate Clinical Counselor, to explore the realities of complex trauma, identity, and what healing actually looks like beyond the surface. Drawing from both clinical experience and lived perspective, this conversation opens up a deeper understanding of mental health, especially within marginalized communities.

• What complex PTSD is and how it differs from traditional PTSD
• How childhood trauma quietly shows up in adult relationships and self-worth
• Why trauma responses are not weaknesses, but survival strategies
• The subtle signs of healing most people overlook
• How trauma can manifest physically, emotionally, and relationally
• What being an ally in the trans community looks like in everyday situations
• How microaggressions impact mental health over time
• What to know if you’re afraid to ask for help
• Why healing is about coming home to yourself, not changing who you are

Go visit Noah Buchanan social media websites to learn more. 
https://telewellnesshub.com/directory/noah-buchanan
https://www.instagram.com/transcendstigmaproject/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/noah-buchanan-apcc-8a3a932b9/

We are happy and honored to be part of your life changing health and wellness journey:
https://telewellnesshub.com/

This episode is proudly sponsored by: https://legalmed180.com/

Transcript

Welcome And Meet Noah

Marta Hamilton 0:02

Welcome back to another episode of the Talawama City Podcast. I'm Marta Hamilton, your host, and today we get to speak with Noah Buchanan, registered associate clinical counselor, receiving supervision at Foresight Mental Health. He's worked with people from many walks of life, including LGBTQIA plus and marginalized communities, and shares that anyone who's felt unseen or unheard belongs there in therapy with him. They help clients navigate complex trauma, anxiety, life transitions, explore identity and self-discovery, and work on challenging negative beliefs about themselves. Welcome, Noah.

Noah Buchanan 0:41

It's great to be here. It's an honor to be here.

Marta Hamilton 0:44

Yes, I'm so excited because I wish I had already hit record when we first logged in. Because the energy, the creativity, the passion, uh, the education, the knowledge, I mean, there are so many things I feel like were captured in just me getting to meet before we even hit record. And I learned so much. So I'm excited that now we have officially hit record so that we can share with the world all the amazing things that you're doing. And before that, though, I'd like to start with asking you for our listeners who know, you know, we often talk about you know educational topics and things that they can use for their own healing and education in their own life. But I also like to touch upon the why what people are doing this work. So if you could just share with us a little bit about why you do the mental health and wellness work that you do.

Noah Buchanan 1:40

Oh, yeah, most definitely. So, you know, I at the simple answer is I became a clinician is the one I needed. I personally am transgender, I'm intersex, and I have complex trauma myself. There are real moments in my life navigating my identity as a trans person as well as navigating trauma where I was went looking for support and either couldn't find or found something that caused more harm than good. And something in me said, I just want to be different. I want to be the person that someone can walk into a room with and feel like they don't have to explain their humanity first before we get into the healing. And I think they keeps me doing it. I mean, especially over a decade in it, it's been wow 12 years now at this point. That's incredible. I mean, various roles, of course, right? But I mean, it's that I genuinely believe healing is possible. I know it's not easy or linear for that say, but it is possible.

Complex PTSD Vs PTSD

Marta Hamilton 2:37

Yes. No, I love that. See, that didn't, it's so inspirational. I I think so often, um I think really powerful healing comes from having not just the knowledge and the experience, but like a deep humanity, like you shared, like a deep empathy, um, and really understanding, navigating that there's these therapeutic relationships are just so special. There's I always say it's such an honor to get to walk through life with someone. So having that piece of humanity, I think is so so important. So I appreciate you sharing that um with me because it is it's so inspirational that healing is possible. And I love that you set out to be the therapist that you wish you had or that you needed. And I think I'm sure with over a decade of experience, there are so many people who have gotten to benefit from work with you. So I think amazing work um there just colleague to colleague. Um so you know, you mentioned complex PTSD. Um what is complex PTSD? Also, you know, abbreviated as C PTSD, and how is it different than regular quote-unquote PTSD?

Noah Buchanan 3:55

Yeah, so most people have heard PTSD, and when they picture it, it's usually they think of one event. So like a car accident, something with the clear before and after. However, with complex PTSD, it's different. It's what happens when the threat isn't a moment, it is the environment. It's chronic, it's repeated, often starting in child childhood. So think about someone who grew up in a home where things were in unpredictable or unsafe, or someone who spent years having their identity rejected or invalidated. Their nervous system learns to stay on high alert because it had to. And over time, that shapes how you see yourself, how you relate to other people, and how safe you feel in your own body. But I also hear something I want people to really hear about. These responses aren't weaknesses, they're not character flaws, they are brilliant adaptations because your nervous system did exactly what it was built to do, it learned how to survive. I mean, so at the end of the day, you know, I think that's how I would perfectly define uh define complex trauma.

Childhood Trauma In Adult Life

Marta Hamilton 4:57

Yeah, no, absolutely. Well, and and and speaking of that, because you mentioned, you know, it might start in childhood trauma. What have you seen? Um, that how how what have you seen, I guess, in your work and your research and your training, how does childhood trauma show up in adult life at times? Because you mentioned the central nervous system, it and it's he it's working to heal. I mean, it's protecting you, and how does it maybe show up in adult life?

Noah Buchanan 5:26

I think that's an important question because I think a lot of people are walking around with childhood trauma that they never named as trauma. They just think this is who I am and this is how I am. You know, so what I see most often is it shows up in relationships, people who have a really hard time trusting others or who find themselves either clinging or completely shutting down when things get emotionally close, because the people who are supposed to be safe weren't. So the nervous system warned again, closeness equals danger. But I also do see that it shows up in self-perception as well. That deep, quiet voice that says you're too much or not enough, or that you're fundamentally don't belong. And I think a lot of people don't connect that voice to anything that happened to them, they just think it is the truth about who they are. But I also you mentioned the body, right? Because it does show up there because that chronic tension, fatigue, gut issues, feeling disconnected from yourself, the body keeps score. By the way, I love that book. Yeah. And I think one of the most common things I hear from clients is, but my trauma wasn't bad enough. They compare their experience with something they think is real trauma. And, you know, I also make the argument too, there's systemic trauma to think about. But I mean, I can go on a complete tangent on that one. But that can even shape how we grow up too.

Hidden Trauma Signs In Loved Ones

Marta Hamilton 6:46

Yeah, no, absolutely. I just, you know, you mentioning that their trauma wasn't bad enough. I I don't specialize in trauma. I'm very open about that. At one point, though, I was in a in a deposition, and this what you said just reminded me of this. Um, I sometimes therapists can get subpoenaed, right? And different things. And I had referred someone out for trauma, but it's interesting because the attorneys were so stuck on trying to say that their trauma wasn't bad like other trauma. Like it's not like being in a community violence um situation or and and I was just floored that even down to the legal system, these these misconceptions of trauma, right? Like are pervasive. So I am so grateful you brought that up because I think a lot of people carry that that that belief, that concept that like, well, it's not as bad as X, Y, and Z, like a lot of comparison and deserve to feel better and get healing. And um, and I I think it's great that you bring that up. Also, before we hit record, one thing I learned is that, you know, um Noah, they've given presentations on CPSTSD and have been the go-to for psychiatry and other colleagues to to share about this. So we are getting amazing pearls of knowledge here, I feel like, and wisdom. Because you very simply, yes. I think that's a really important thing to important thing to point out of um how it can show up in the body and even perception of of like, is this actually trauma? I think that's so good to to bring out. Um I I you mentioned some something that maybe people are walking around with trauma and they don't even realize it. You give you gave some kind of hidden trauma symptoms or signs of trauma with the body. Any and like with relationships, are there any signs of trauma that um maybe for someone who has a loved one, right? That they wonder like, what are some signs of trauma that people might not realize are trauma that might be showing up in a loved one? Or like what are some ways that they can um kind of navigate that, even if it's not themselves, maybe someone they know, um, to that so to just kind of navigating what it actually feels like to live with CPTSD day to day.

What Trauma Healing Looks Like

Noah Buchanan 9:21

Well, you know, I would say CPTSD, I mean, I would say I kind of joke with my clients about this, but you know, trauma's a bitch, period, right? But I would say like CPTSD is one of the worst ones because it does mess with it. But I do love that you framed it that way because sometimes we do notice it in someone we love before we notice it in ourselves. So some of the ones that get missed most often are the chronic ones, the people pleasing, someone who can never say no, who is constantly scanning the room for how everyone else is feeling, who makes themselves small so that others are comfortable. You know, it's not really a personality trait, but that's again a survival strategy that started very early. I also notice like the difficulty with anger. Either someone who can't feel anger at all, it's I mean, it's not just not accessible, I can't even talk today, accessible to them, or someone whose anger comes out in ways that feels disproportionate and they don't know why. I mean, both of those are trauma responses, you know, and they need to stay busy. That's something I also notice constantly because the moment things get quiet, something uncomfortable comes up. A lot of high achievers are actually running from something. And then this is the big one though: difficulty receiving the care. You know, someone who can give endlessly, but the moment someone tries to show up for them, they deflect, minimize, disappear because being careful again was never safe. Now, I think if you recognize any of those in yourself or even someone you love, I mean that's worth noting. Yes. It's something I promote in my therapy when I'm meeting with the complex or CPTSD client, I tell them flat out, like, look, I got CPTSD, and you know, I definitely understand what you're dealing with right now. You know, I will say I'm an unapologetic therapist. I like to get to the uncomfortable. You know, I believe that's where the root of the healing is. I go, I actually kind of pride myself, like I'm not a traditional therapist. I don't do band-aid approaches, but I will meet you where you are. If it gets too fast or if it gets too uncomfortable, I will step back a little bit until you do feel comfortable. But either way, the intent is I care about your healing and you deserve it.

Marta Hamilton 11:27

Wow. Yeah, I think you know, trauma recovery must be multifaceted. You mentioned, you know, it's not always linear. And I one thing I think people often in doing our research for this episode, we found a lot of people look up how to heal from trauma. So in your experience, like what are some simple ways, even just you saying that like opens the door for that healing, right? What are some simple ways that someone may well not simple? That's not the right word, but what are some ways you've seen that you can see that you're someone is maybe starting to heal, starting to heal from from trauma in your experience?

Noah Buchanan 12:07

Again, it kind of depends on the client. So, like I I you know, with most of my clients, I make personalized treatment plans for them because it's different, you know, especially like neurodivergence. You know, there's some that have alexithemia, so you kind of have to keep that in mind. But I also think, you know, I like this question as well because I it you're asking really good questions. Because I think people expect healing to look like the pain is gone, and that's not usually how it works. I would reframe it like what healing actually looks like in my practice. I think one of the first signs I see is that someone starts to notice their patterns without judgment. Like I just did that thing again where I shut down and I caught it. That awareness, that little bit of distance between the trigger and the reaction. I think that is healing. I mean, that gap didn't exist before. I think another sign is that someone starts to feel safe enough to feel because a lot of trauma survivors are actually disconnected from their emotions because feeling again is never safe. So when someone starts crying in session, and my supervisor says it's always a victory when you see a client cry. I know it kind of threw me off when she said that, but like I understand that now, or even gets in touch with anger because they've been sitting on for years. That's not really a breakdown, that is a breakthrough. But I see it in relationships too. So when someone who used to disappear or even push people away starts letting someone in, even a little bit, even imperfectly, because that's enormous. And I think there's a quieter one that I think gets overlooked when someone starts being gentle with themselves, because when that inner voice that's been so cruel for so long starts to soften even slightly, that's human.

Marta Hamilton 13:44

Wow. So many subtle things. I mean, clearly, so as a clinician, I can see how you are very aware, very perceptive with the work that you do of like the subtle signs of that healing. Um and I love that you shared those because you're right. I think oftentimes we think, okay, healing is the absence of all the shitty things, right? But it's it's unfortunately it's not always like that. But there are so many victories to celebrate along the way, right?

Noah Buchanan 14:22

So well, I mean, something I promote to my clients, I say celebrate the small victories. And you know, I think that's something that society never promotes. We are often promoted the bigger picture, which you know, I don't want to invalidate because that is important, but those small victories, especially with someone who has complex trauma, that means a lot to them. And you know, I always reinforce it. Like I have clients, you know, that always have passed the suicidiality and they're just like, Yeah, I don't want to be here. But then I kind of put it back on them, and it's like, but you showed up here today. Right. Right. It's not that you're here, you're sitting here with me and you're telling me this. I know it's a bitch, and and you know, I relate, but you're here. So there's a part of you that really wants this, and you know, pat yourself on the back with it. And your system does not have to trust me, by the way. But you know, just pat yourself on the back.

Sponsor And Partnership Message

Transgender Mental Health Challenges

Marta Hamilton 15:14

Yeah. Oh, I love that disclaimer. Like it doesn't have to trust me. Yeah, I love that. Yes, I love that. The telewellness hub podcast is now proudly hosted by Legal Med 180, a platform bringing together people in law, healthcare, policy, and innovation to improve real outcomes for individuals and communities. We believe better mental health and wellness happen when caring professionals collaborate across systems. That shared mission is why this partnership matters. Check out legalmed180.com to learn more. I want to shift a little bit. You know, you mentioned something that made me really want to talk about also, you know, what are some common mental health challenges in the transgender community? You know, because your clients, you know, you mentioned mentioned your expertise and your areas and the the the communities you work with. So what are some of the mental health challenges you see that are common in the transgender community?

Noah Buchanan 16:21

I mean, I think that's the plus about being a transgender clinician. You know, like most of the clients that I have on my caseload are transgender. And usually the most common complaints is, you know, they're they're pushing traditional therapies on them, or more or less, they're not feeling hurt or seen. Um, but also I think what's really important to name before I really answer that though, because I want to friend that question because it matters. I mean, because trans people don't have worse mental health outcomes because of being trans. We have worse outcomes because of what the world does to trans people. Intentionally, because you know, me being trans, like I said myself, you know, it isn't just clinical knowledge for me, it is a lived reality. Because what also what I see most common too is that chronic anxiety and hypervigilance, that constant scanning, is this space safe? Will this person respect my name? What happens if they find out? It's not a disorder, that's a rational response to a world that has repeatedly given trans people reasons to be afraid. And I do see a lot of depressions that's rooted what I call accumulated loss, loss of family relationships, loss of community, loss of the version of life you thought you'd have. Grief that doesn't always get named as grief. But at the end of the day, too, I see a lot of complex trauma because for many trans people, the chronic invalidation does start in childhood, in the home, in school, and religious spaces. It's not what you want, it's kind of like the weather here in this aspect, and it shapes everything. But also something I want people to hear, especially anyone trans who might be listening, your struggles are not evidence that something is wrong with you, they are evidence of what you survived, and that distinction changes everything about how we are how we live and how we function.

Allyship As Daily Practice

Marta Hamilton 18:04

Yeah, no, thank you for framing that. Because that brings me to my next question is what does it mean to be a good ally to the transgender community? Like, what does that mean? You know, I'm like, yes, what does that mean?

Noah Buchanan 18:21

You know, I've been doing a lot of content on my TikTok about this because you know, like I the whole concept of allyship, I there's a video I was talking about, like, hey, you know, trans people are not a monolith. You cannot generalize us. You cannot, because at the end of the day, if your allyship is based on those stereotypes and those generalizations, and basically you're kind of and you're putting this narrative on what it's like to be trans for us, we're it's like another box that we are trying to fit in right now.

Marta Hamilton 18:49

Yeah.

Noah Buchanan 18:50

At the end of the day, you know, at the end of the day, I think the word ally also has gotten a little watered down because allyship isn't a title you give yourself, it's something you practice every day, often when it's very uncomfortable, often when no trunk trans person is watching. And one thing I'm really intentional about in my language is I don't talk about advocating for trans people. I talk about advocating with trans people because four implies that we need someone to speak on our behalf, that we can't speak for ourselves. And not to mention, I can go on another tangent about that, but that also kind of reinforces that ego that goes on. Because trans people have always been speaking. What we need are people willing to stand beside that voice and take some of that risk that comes with it. So I think at the end of the day, I think that's actually when where it's tested most because it's easy to be supportive when we're watching. You know, what do you do when we're not? When there's a transphobic comment in a group chat, for example, when someone gets misgendered and everyone pretends not to notice, that moment and that small uncomfortable moment is where the allyship lives or dies. But I think for clinicians specifically, affirming care is not a specialty, it is a baseline. Every clinician who works with humans should be able to provide it.

Microaggressions And The Paper Cut Effect

Marta Hamilton 20:05

Yeah. I, you know, myself as someone who has a lot of educating to do, but works with other marginalized communities, I I thought of the word microaggression. And this is gonna seem like a really um maybe ignorant question, but I I feel like I feel like I'm in a safe space to ask. Like would the same would that same term apply? Like, like if someone just doesn't notice or doesn't speak up, if someone's the pronoun is incorrect, there's different things that someone may not do or say. Um, and even if it's an accident, it could be a mic seen as a microaggression. And is that is that something that's also utilized? I I just was thinking right now, like I don't know if I've ever seen microaggression used outside of racial, like for racial or ethnic, but I'm maybe there is, and I don't know. Have you seen that? That's just a question.

Noah Buchanan 21:04

Yeah, I mean something I also want to kind of just throw out here. I definitely I I got an answer for that question, but I think it's important that in trans spaces, it's what I say is that a job as an ally is to be very vigilant because our communities are very divided. We have a lot of internalized bias that goes in in our community, so sometimes we kind of have to be a little careful about it. Because at the end of the day, I do think microaggressions are not exclusive to race and ethnicity because the term applies to any marginalized identity, and trans people experience that consistently. I mean, there's intersectionality, of course. Because at the end of the day, a microaggression is essentially a brief, often unintentional message that communicates to someone that they are other, that they don't fully belong. And you know, essentially what makes them so insidious is that individually any one of them can see can seem small. You know, someone using the wrong pronoun once, a question like, okay, wait, what what were you? Born as. Right? Like you don't even look trans. Each one in isolation feels minor. But they do accumulate. And I kind of want to put this out here. And for someone who is already carrying complex trauma and already hyper-vigilant and already scanning for safety, that accumulation is exhausting in a way that's really hard to describe to someone who really hasn't experienced it. You know, I actually use the analogy of paper cuts. One paper cut is not a big deal, but if you get a paper cut in the same place every single day, that will never heal. And people are around you keep saying it's just a paper cut.

Asking For Help And Feeling Safe

Marta Hamilton 22:37

No, so good because it's even like for myself, like a check for myself, right? Like and I can speak for myself. That's why I love these podcasts I mentioned before. Like I could sit here and talk for so long because I just love the humanity and the realness. And um, I always feel like I get to talk to safe people who it are also so like vulnerable, but sharing from a place of like clinical lens and expertise. So I'm so grateful for you taking the time and sharing that because I I wonder for someone who is struggling but feels scared to ask for help, whether it's for a loved one, whether it's for themselves, like what would you want them to know?

Noah Buchanan 23:26

Well, first of all, I think the most common answer is you're not alone. You know, this world this world is very scary right now. It's a very unpredictable, unpredictable world. But at the end of the day, too, I would validate this too. Because if you spent your life in environments where being yourself wasn't safe where asking for help was met with rejection or judgment or silence, of course you're scared. But that fear is not weakness. That's wisdom that gets you protected. But I would also want them to know the right support exists. There are clinicians who get it who won't make you explain your humanity before we get to the healing. Understand that your identity is not the problem. The world's response to it is. So, and if you are a loved one, like hearing this, someone struggling and listening to this, and you don't know what to say, you don't have to have the perfect words. I mean, sometimes the most powerful thing you could do is just stay and show up. Make it very clear that you're not going anywhere. That safety and that consistency is actually part of the healing. But I do want to make a point here for trans people. If for anyone that is trans who is listening specifically, I do want to say, and I say this very lightly because I just covered this on Trans Day of Visibility. I do see you and I am you. And I want you to know that healing is not about becoming someone more palatable to a world that wasn't built for you. It's about coming home to yourself fully without apology. You deserve that. And I always say never compromise your values or more or less your authenticity to not only make others uncomfortable, but to make somebody happy.

Where To Connect With Noah

Marta Hamilton 25:02

No, thank you so much for that wisdom and that and sharing. I'm I'm just hoping the right um, I just hope that when people hear this, like your approach is so I feel like just you sharing, you're meeting me for the first time, being able to share that and me being so deeply impacted. I'm confident others will be impacted positively too. And I will make sure in the show notes to share your telewellness hub profile. You've shared a lot of resources, you have a lot of information so people can connect with you. I know you're based out of California, but where else can people find you? You mentioned TikTok and different things. Like, where can people connect with you?

Noah Buchanan 25:43

I'm also on LinkedIn, I am also on threads. Threads is like a blessing, you know. I kind of have ups and down with Zuckerberg, but you know, like I like threads.

Marta Hamilton 25:51

I I I'm starting to like threads. I was hesitant, but now it's like I don't have to worry about content creation, I just get to connect. You know, it's very nice.

Noah Buchanan 26:01

Yes. Yes. I mean, I am working on building a website right now, but of course I gotta kind of wait on that. But okay.

Final Takeaways And Goodbye

Marta Hamilton 26:10

We can update it. Yeah, yeah. No, that's great. Well, we'll make sure to put all the information. Of course, your I know your telephone's hub profile has some of the information like LinkedIn, but we'll make sure to um gather all the places that you can connect with Noah. And um, I just really appreciate you being a part of our wellness journey today. Thank you.

Noah Buchanan 26:35

It's been an honor and it's my pleasure.