You Deserve To Be Present On Your Wedding Day

Wedding season can make even the most grounded person start negotiating with their body. Suddenly it’s not just a dress, it’s photos, comments, fittings, “just until the wedding” rules, and the fear that you’ll spend a once-in-a-lifetime day thinking about how you look instead of what you feel.

We get into the real pressure points: the subtle way families talk about weight, the way dress shopping can bring up anxiety when you don’t have the “movie moment,” and the ways fatphobia shows up in bridal spaces online. We also unpack why strangers feel entitled to comment on bodies, and how to stop letting that noise become your inner voice. Along the way, we share our own wedding memories and the tiny moments that could have spiraled but didn’t, because presence mattered more than perfection.

You’ll leave with practical body image tools for weddings, prom, and any special event: eat before you try things on, move in the outfit so you know you can live in it, plan for comfort so you’re not distracted all night, and separate logistics from self-judgment. If you’re navigating an eating disorder history, diet culture triggers, or just the nonstop pressure to “look your best,” this conversation is your reminder that your body is not the project.

Subscribe, leave a rating and review, and share this with someone heading into wedding season. What part of the process messes with your body image the most?

Show notes:

Trigger warning: this show is not medical, nutrition, or mental health treatment and is not a replacement for meeting with a Registered Dietitian, Licensed Mental Health Provider, or any other medical provider. You can find resources for how to find a provider, as well as crisis resources, in the show notes. Listener discretion is advised.

Resource links:

Alliance for Eating Disorders: https://www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com/ 

ANAD: https://anad.org/

NEDA: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/

NAMI: https://nami.org/home

Action Alliance: https://theactionalliance.org/

NIH: https://www.nimh.nih.gov/

How to find a provider: 

https://map.nationaleatingdisorders.org/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

https://www.healthprofs.com/us/nutritionists-dietitians?tr=Hdr_Brand

Suicide & crisis awareness hotline: call 988 (available 24/7)

Eating Disorder hotline: call or text 800-931-2237 (Phone line is available Monday-Thursday 11 am-9 pm ET and Friday 11 am-5 pm ET; text line is available Monday-Thursday 3-6 pm ET and Friday 1-5 pm ET)

If you are experiencing a psychiatric or medical emergency, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.

Transcript

Redefining Health And Today’s Warning

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Join us as we redefine, reclaim, and restore the true meaning of health. Let's dive into the tough conversations about mental health, nutrition, eating disorders, diet culture, and body image. This is Nourish and Empower. This episode is brought to you by Hilltop Behavioral Health, specializing in eating disorder treatment. Hilltop offers integrated therapy and nutrition care in one compassionate setting.

SPEAKER_02 0:38

Visit www.hilltopbehavioralhealth.com because healing happens here.

A Mother’s Words On Confidence

SPEAKER_03 0:46

Hello everyone and welcome to this week's episode of the Nourish and Empowered Podcast. Today it's just your favorite dynamic therapist and dietitian duo. But trigger warning for today, because we will be talking about weddings, body image, and all things related. So trigger warning, we are identifying the following triggers that will be discussed but are not limited to eating disorders, body image, and mental health. Listener discretion is advised. This show is not medical nutrition or mental health treatment and is not a replacement for meeting with a registered dietitian, licensed mental health provider, or any other medical provider. You can find resources for how to find a provider as well as crisis resources in the show notes. And guys, I'm gonna be honest, I'm nervy for today because Maggie told me she has a video she wants me to watch, and I'm an emotional being. I think we've really seen that in this season and this year. So I am kind of nervous.

SPEAKER_02 1:46

No, you don't need to be nervous. It it's very sweet. It is like a motherhood video, so you're definitely gonna cry.

SPEAKER_03 1:53

I'm gonna sob my eyes out. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:56

But I saw it last night and really liked it, so I sent it to myself. And then I watched it before starting the episode because sometimes I'll do that to just like kind of get in the zone. Yeah. Okay, so go ahead. So pull it. I just sent it to you on your personal Instagram. So if you want to pull it up and watch it, and that way everybody can listen along. And then when we post this episode, we will also post the link to it as well.

unknown 2:25

Oh god. All right, fine.

SPEAKER_02 2:27

Okay, do you see it? The one I literally just sent.

SPEAKER_03 2:30

Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 2:31

And the volume up.

SPEAKER_03 2:33

All right, hold on. Let me put the volume up everywhere. All right, here we go, guys.

SPEAKER_00 2:38

The beautiful. You were beautiful in every single dress you wore, and it didn't matter the size, and you always felt good, and you always looked beautiful, and you were always confident in that dress. And you loved every dress you ever wore. And that's what was important. Didn't matter the size. It's about your confidence. And that's what you have to teach. Love within and love what you're wearing. And you always did. You felt beautiful. True. Beautiful. You were beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 3:11

Oh my god. Who is this mom? Can we get her on the pod?

SPEAKER_03 3:18

That's how you know it's moving because Maggie's crying. I cry too much. Maggie cries like the perfect amount. So you know it's moving if Maggie starts to cry. Oh my god. See, like that's the mom I aspire to be. Like, obviously, definitely for my my son, and like if the God bless, like, you know, I can have another boy. But like, especially if I have a girl, like that's just what I want.

SPEAKER_01 3:46

I know. Isn't it beautiful? It also, so I I was emotional when I watched it the first time.

SPEAKER_02 3:52

But then I also had this moment of thinking. So for anybody who hasn't seen it yet, right? It's um, it's a like a daughter trying on a dress and them just like hyping her up. And the caption is basically something of like, I've had 27 years of you know, my mom talking to me like this about my body and how like it's led to confidence. And the the comments on it are actually like really positive and wonderful for the most part. And so, like, on one hand, I was like, this is amazing, and on the other hand, I was like, it's so sad that that's not the norm. I so they started celebrating it and and they should be. And like, so many of the comments were like, Why isn't this how we talk to kids growing up about their bodies? And it just like I feel like it lent itself to our like wedding body image episode.

When Bridal Fashion Turns Fatphobic

SPEAKER_03 4:41

No, a hundred percent. Because especially whether it's like prom wedding, wedding guest, or just like any event, you know, moms are I feel like sometimes moms will be like, oh well, don't worry about it. Like, you're gonna whether it's like you're gonna lose the weight or you're gonna great look great that day, or like it's always don't worry about how you look now because the day is going to be different. And like different is up to interpretation, right? It could be that, like, yeah, your hair is in a messy bun. So, like when you look like put together in the dress, or if it's like, oh, you'll lose the weight, like there's never the confidence of just what you look like right then in that moment in that dress. And like I always say, if I go and try something on, if I don't feel good in it in my worst, am I gonna feel good in my best? You know what I mean? Like, I want to be able to, like, whatever it is that I'm wearing, like in any what in any facet, like I want someone to boost me up in that moment about like, you look phenomenal. Don't even worry about it. You know what I mean? Like, oh wow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:53

Yeah, it was one of those moments where it's like the internet can be a beautiful place. And then we will also share this video too, because there is a bridal store that posted this video that we both have watched, but basically, like they were displaying this new dress that they had, and they had a smaller size model try it on, and all the comments were like, Oh my god, this dress, it's so beautiful, it's stunning, it's amazing. And then they had a curve model try the same dress on, and all of the comments were not about the dress, yeah, and all about her body, and you know, really, really awful comments about her body. And the bridal store actually like posted a response to it and was like, hey, like fat phobia is clearly alive and well, and like you all missed the point, right? The point was we were trying to display this dress and show that like everybody can wear this dress and look how beautiful it is. And they were just like completely appalled by the response that that people had to it.

SPEAKER_03 6:58

I actually was so thrilled that the boutique posted that and honestly, like put those people on blast, like put their tags the whole nine and like put the comments up there because I was like, people sh like, okay, so I'm gonna say something that like Jessica is saying, not therapist Jessica is saying. So I'm making that distinction, but like they should feel bad for what they put out there because I never say should. And like I'm not trying to like instill guilt onto people, but also and shame, but also like at some point we need people to take accountability for their actions. And I know we just talked about this in an episode that will coming be coming out next week in regards to social media and things like that. But it's like people get muscles behind a keyboard, and at some point, the keyboard muscles, they gotta go. Okay, like the disrespect, the conversations that happen, what do you get from that? What are you like Jessica's gonna get angry today? But like, I just don't understand what is so fulfilling about being like, you need to lose weight, your body needs to change, you shouldn't be allowed to wear that. What are you gaining from them for you to be so nasty to someone you've never met?

SPEAKER_02 8:15

What is the purpose of that? We talk to clients about this all the time, but I think it's like worth repeating too. It's like if other people are that focused on your body, that is so much more a reflection of their own insecurities, and it is not a reflection of you. It you know, because people who feel body neutral, people who feel more confident in their body, they don't even notice anybody else's body because it's not it's not something they're focusing on. So if somebody is overly focusing on your appearance or somebody else's appearance, like on a video, like it truly is a reflection that that they really need help in their relationship with their body.

SPEAKER_03 8:56

100%. Right. Like I always say when people are judgmental, it's assigned to their character, not about the person that they're saying something judgmental about. Exactly. Because at the end of the day, like how you live your life does not affect that person. Unless you're doing something like you have keyboard muscles and you're saying all these negative things, excuse me, then you are negatively impacting other people intentionally. That's very different than you just walking down the street, being in a bikini, being in a one piece, wearing a dress, wearing a potato sack, whatever it is that you're doing with your life, it's not actually affecting anybody. So, like you like always remember it's a reflection of them. It is not a reflection of you.

SPEAKER_02 9:49

Yeah, and I feel like that's something so important to keep in mind for people that are going through like the wedding process of like getting married this year or next year, or again, like you said, it's prom. It's people who are attending weddings and you know, these events where you are gonna be way more dressed up than usual, or there is a lot of planning and like what your look will will be like, and just how can we foster that confidence, and also how can we take so much focus off of somebody's appearance so they can actually be present, actually enjoy the like likely, you know, like very few in a lifetime special events that they have.

SPEAKER_03 10:32

A hundred percent. Because even on your wedding day, which was my favorite day of my life, outside of when I had my son, but it was like my anniversary was just on Monday. So obviously we were I was like reminiscent all day long of the amazingness that I personally think my wedding day was. And it really, there were so many, like I honestly I remember my mom and I went for a walk yesterday no on Monday, I think it was, regardless of the day. And she was like, Oh yeah, like oh, it was Monday because I was like, Oh my god, it's so beautiful out, like it was just as nice this time last year. And my mom was like, It brain the morning of your wedding. And I was like, One more time. And she was like, You don't remember that like it was like drizzling, and so like the park chateau has literally a garden. And so you can have you some of your cocktail hour outside, like they can bring like a grill out the whole nine, but if the weather is a certain temperature below, they don't do it. And she was like, You don't remember? And I was like, Yeah, I remember the cocktail hour was only inside, but I didn't realize it was like drizzling. And she's like, Yeah, no, it was like below 65, and it was kind of cold and chilly, and it was and I was like, Mom, I don't have any recollection. Like, how you don't remember whether I want people to not care about their bodies, like even the day of my wedding, I remember because I am not endowed on my top half. So my wedding dress, no matter what the fitting was going to be, it wasn't going to fit right. I could not have cared less the entire day. Yes, there were moments where like you saw that I was lifting it up and I was doing the whole nine, but I was not thinking about it. I was just doing the action. And so like I wish people would just allow their bodies to just be what it was. Because at the end of the day, whether my cause that also could have been like a moment where I was like, oh my God, if only my body looked this way, then my dress would actually fit. Like this is like terrible. And I was like, whatever happens, happens. I'm gonna try and hold it up. I'm gonna do whatever. But if it falls, also happy, happy wedding day. You know what I mean? Like I just wish people would just allow their bodies to be what it is and to not have it negatively impact their day. Enjoy the day and be present. Because if I really was upset about it, I wouldn't have done a split in my entrance because I would have been so upset of my dress potentially falling. And let me tell you, I bolted in there and I literally was barefoot, sprinted into the ballroom, jumped up and down, and landed in a split. To where the MC literally went, Oh my god, that bride did a split. Did you see that? And like the whole band stopped because they were like, What did she just do? And I loved my life. Because who cares what your body looks like? Have the time of your life. And I stand 10 toes behind my statement. Mm-hmm.

Letting Your Body Be What It Is

SPEAKER_02 13:41

And also not just even that day, but I feel like the whole process leading up to it, because I mean, like, I don't know what your engagement period was like, but like I was engaged for I don't know, maybe like a year and a half, right? And I feel like oftentimes people are engaged for, you know, a year, year and a half, two years, whatever it is. And like also enjoying that time leading up to it and not letting that time be overshadowed by all of the body image components that can come up because then again, you miss out on like this really, really special time where it's like, you know, you get to celebrate with different groups of people, you do engagement photos if that's something you're into, like save the dates, the planning period, obviously, like the you know, the dresser, like the suit try-on days, like all of those kind of things, but like you miss out on so much of it if you're so focused on your body and not on like the actual amazing experience that it can be.

SPEAKER_03 14:41

Yeah, and they're all so fun in their own ways, right? Like going and trying on the one thing I regret about my wedding process is that I didn't try on more dresses. Because I went, first of all, it's like so funny. My mom always laughs about it. I remember going wedding dress shopping for my sister, and I remember seeing a dress that was plain old wedding dress with buttons down the back. And I looked at my mom and I said, That will never be me. That's way too plain. Okay, honey, what was your wedding dress? Plain as day with buttons going down the back of your dress. Like, it's so funny, foreshadowing, right? If that's the right word. But like I fell in love with my wedding dress. I was inconsolably crying. It was if you asked me what my dress, which I know, shocker, right? But like I tried on four or five dresses one day, and I left being like, all right, I found my wedding dress. And that was I got engaged in October, found my dress in December. So I had from December 22 until April of 24 of sitting on, is this my wedding dress? So I wish I tried on more, just also for the experience, because it's so fun. Point being, you have a time where you get to play dress up. And I understand that's not every woman's dream. Like I'm very well, or like every man's dream to just like play dress up and try on dresses and try on suits. Like I very much get it. For me, it was. And I just like I wish women could go in being like, heck yeah, I get to try on how many dresses, I get to try on ball gowns, mermaids, pantsuits, short dresses, reception dresses, and just have fun and enjoy it rather than it being like do I, do I not? How do we feel? Like just go into it.

When Dress Shopping Doesn’t Feel Magic

SPEAKER_02 16:34

What would you say to someone who because you had the experience of you went in, you tried on very few dresses, you found the dress, like you had the moment. Or what would you say to somebody who isn't having that moment or like has more hesitation or feels like they've gone dress shopping a bunch of times to a bunch of different stores and they have not found the dress yet, and like all of the feelings that can come along with that?

SPEAKER_03 17:03

So two things. One, I would ask them like, what is the feeling you're looking for? And what is making you feel like you're not liking any of these dresses to give you that? Like, I would ask the questions of like what's stopped, like what's in your head that's causing all these questions. Cause sometimes our anxieties and like our expectation of what we should be feeling needs to be this like grandiose thing. And if we're not having it, then we're almost like, okay, so something's wrong. So is it like an expectation? Are you just anxious dress shopping? Like, do you have a certain vision in your head and none of these dresses are matching the vision and you feel like no bridal store can like it doesn't hit anywhere? You know what I mean? Or is it that you're just not that about uh emotional connections to clothing that you're not having that moment because that's just not you as a person, and that's okay. You know what it's like, not everyone, you might have the dress and be like, wow, this feels great. You know, I really like this one. I think I found my dress. There's nothing wrong with it of just being like a very neutral, like, okay, versus somebody like me who's like emotional 24-7, who had this like impact this impactful moment. It doesn't have to be anything, it could simply just be. And that does feel weird because you see, once again, right? Social media, you see all these people being like, oh my god, it was the moment. I was sobbing. I felt all these things, da-da-da-da-da. And for some people, that just doesn't happen. And that doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with it, it just wasn't your experience, and that's okay.

SPEAKER_02 18:50

Yeah, yeah. No, thank you for that. Because I also like, I even when you said earlier, like, okay, the my wedding was the best day of my life outside of the the day that you had Christopher, but I also want to normalize for people like not everybody feels that way, and that's okay. Like, it might not be the best day of their life. And is there a lot of like pressure and expectation of like it has to be this perfect best day? And that again can come with a lot of feelings and anticipation and take you out of the present moment if there's all this pressure of like, well, it has to be perfect.

SPEAKER_03 19:22

How were you able? Because I know you have a phenomenal, and you can also correct me if I'm wrong or if I'm saying too much. I know you have a phenomenal relationship like with your body, with food, hence why I love you so much, especially as my dynamic duo partner. How are you able to have such a positive experience with wedding dress shopping for you, like and the wedding planning, right? Because even thinking about two different people, hey, you and me, right? I, you were like, I can't wait to have a small wedding, where I was like, Do we need to invite all of New Jersey to come and like sit at our table together? Like, what are we doing? Right. Like I had 230, 250 people, and I was like, Dad, I think we need more people. And he agreed. So, like, how are you able to feel so confident in the wedding dress process and in the wedding planning process too?

Thin Privilege And Body Image Triggers

SPEAKER_02 20:16

Yeah, that's a really good question. And I appreciate you asking it. I feel like I have a couple of thoughts and then I have like a comparative piece. But I mean, I think also too, my wedding planning process was happening during the pandemic. So there was a lot of like, yeah, yeah, a lot of like social pressures that I feel like I didn't really experience because even wedding dress shopping, like there was restrictions. I could only bring one person with me. So I only went wedding dress shopping with my mom. Like it was one person, one hour, we were masked. Like, so it was a very different experience.

SPEAKER_03 20:53

You two were masked during your wedding dress shopping.

SPEAKER_02 20:56

Yeah, I mean, they were like they would let you, yeah. Like I was able to take it off when I was like in the dressing room, you know, that kind of stuff. And there was like very limited people. But so I I had a very, you know, a very different experience. And and I also, you know, I did what you had said earlier, which was my mom and I, the first store we went to, I tried on some of the most absurd dresses you could ever think of, right? But the goal of that day was to try on absolutely everything I was offered to try on, even things that I knew I would say no to. Like I tried on a long sleeve gown, I tried on like a fairy princess, you know, a strapless, like all stuff that I knew I wasn't gonna go for. My wedding dress actually was a dress that I favorited on Pinterest in the wedding planning process, which is hilarious. I love that story. So I do think my experience was a bit different because there wasn't like the pressure of like trying on the dress and coming out and there being like a whole entourage of people. I also say all of this being in a smaller. Body. So I recognize like I have a lot of thin privilege and you know experience that throughout like my wedding dress shopping experience too. But I would say, like, yeah, I mean, having a secure relationship with my body going into the process was really, really helpful. Um, because it it can be really difficult. Like, I even remember the the woman who tailored my dress and like did the alterations, like she made a comment to me at one point where she said, like, you can't get bigger and you can't get smaller at this point, because like this is the size, like, like we're done here. And that's like it's almost become this like kind of joke amongst my family about it. But like, I remember in that moment being like, oh, this could really damage somebody. Like that, to hear that weeks before your wedding and the pressure that that could bring on. And I'm so thankful that like that pressure didn't phase me. Like, I truly remember I love the purple Doritos. Like, I remember like two nights before my wedding, like sitting on the couch, eating my purple Doritos. Like, I did not let it phase me. I will say where I personally had a more challenging time with like wedding body image was being a bridesmaid. I feel like bridesmaid dresses where like you don't, like, yes, you have some say, you know, in like pending what the situation is of like what the style of the dress is or things like that. But I definitely had a more challenging time with body image in those situations of being in dresses that like I know there's a certain dress style that I like on my body. So like I knew going into my wedding dress, I was getting an A-line cut. Like that's that's what works well for my body, right? And that wasn't a possibility in a lot of bridesmaids' dresses. So, plus, they're you know, like it's just like colors that maybe I wouldn't have chosen for myself, like fabrics that I wouldn't have chosen for myself. So I had a harder time with that and had to do a lot more work with that to make sure I was present. Because obviously, if you're a bridesmaid in a wedding, like it was a family member, it was a close friend, I needed to be like 110% for them and had to make sure I wasn't focused on my body. So that I would say took more like energy and work for me.

Bridesmaid Dresses And Losing Control

SPEAKER_03 24:16

Oh my god, so many good things. I want to do a comparison or not a comparison and an equal because your experience of this what the seamstress said, mine literally told me to go have a cheeseburger or three the day of my last alteration. She was like, You can't lose any weight. She was like, Go home and gain something. And I remember standing there and being like, Well, I already planned on, and I and it was like so funny because my mom then like looked at me, because again, everybody in my family like knows what I do. So, like when people make comments at me, they just kind of like stare to see how I'm going to react. And so I just kind of like looked at her and I was and I was just like, uh-huh. And I just like because sometimes it's not worth the conversation, in my opinion. So I just kind of like smiled, ignored it, and like changed the subject completely. And I remember like getting in the car and my mom was like, Are you okay? And I was like, I just think it's funny because I had heard the day before that at Five Guys you can get a triple burger. I do you remember this? I feel like you've told me this, but yes, go ahead. And I and I was like, I need to have a triple bacon cheeseburger from Five Guys. So I had like told Matt, like that week, I need to have this triple cheeseburger because I just I feel like it's a calling in my soul, like I need to have it. So Matt and I had already ordered, like pre-ordered it to go and like pick it up. And I was like, great, like on my way home from like the get seeing my dress, like I'll go pick it up. So I already had a triple decker cheese bacon cheeseburger waiting for me. And I was just like, if I wasn't secure in my body and I was so excited for this burger, and then you said something about my body and having to eat, that easily could have made me not want to change my entire viewpoint of like this enjoyment of getting my of like trying on my wedding dress and having a burger. Like, people don't recognize that their comments can be insanely damaging to people.

SPEAKER_02 26:15

Yeah. Yeah. And I and I also recognize too, like, and you know, obviously this is an assumption, but like I don't think the intent was any kind of damage there. It was more of like a matter of fact of like, hey, like these are the final alterations we're doing, and like this is, you know, like this is now what the the dress is. But yeah, I mean, I just I I can so vividly like picture where I was in that moment, like in the basement of her home where she like her studio was, and like hearing that and reflecting on it and just thinking, like, wow, that this could have really turned things around.

SPEAKER_01 26:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:51

And I want to say for people too, if you're listening and you're in this process and you're like, I don't feel secure in my relationship with my body, and now that's making you feel like, oh gosh, I'm not secure, you know, and you're panicking of like, how is this whole process going to go? Like, there's always, you know, there's always time, there's always resources and support to, you know, work on that and to like keep progressing with it. And also recognizing that like healing isn't linear, right? Like, it's not a perfect process. You know, even when I was sharing about like my experience as a bride versus a bridesmaid, like I was a bride before I was ever a bridesmaid. So like I had that really, yeah, I was the first person out of my friends, out of my my brother and I, like I was the first person to get married. So I feel like I was a bride first, had sorry, what'd you say?

SPEAKER_03 27:38

No, sorry, I didn't mean to because I know like talking over each other isn't great for audio, but I I was like 27 dresses. I was like the last one to get married. So that's so fun. Once again, my yang to my yang girl.

SPEAKER_02 27:50

Yeah, yeah. So it's just like I just mentioned that to be like, I had this really, you know, thankfully, like really great body image experience with my own wedding, and then had a more challenging time after that, right? So it's like it's it's not linear, it's not a perfect process either.

SPEAKER_03 28:06

Yeah, and that's why, and I wanted to comment on the bridesmaid piece too, because you don't get a choice as a bridesmaid. And like some brides might, some brides might not. Whereas like you are the bride, make the choice. You can choose something that and maybe you don't know what fits your body. And that's like, in my opinion, the fun thing about wedding dress shopping. You get to try everything on, even if it's like to your point. You said I tried on the most ridiculous options. You might try something on that you're like, this is so stupid, try it on and be like, this is so perfect. Like you have no idea. So give yourself the opportunity to just like try on all the things because you get to have the choice. And that's why for me personally, when I was doing like when I was bridesmaids dressed, like picking out and everything, I told everybody, tell me, I can't remember if I told them, tell me a fabric, but I definitely said, I don't care what style you do. You want something with sleeves, you want something strapless, you want something halter, backless, this, that, and the third. I don't care what you look like. I want you to feel comfortable and beautiful in your body, in your dress. Here's the color, here's I think I said, here's the color, here's the fabric. Otherwise, go ahead and choose. And I even said to them, like, if you don't think this fabric's gonna look good on you, let me know. Because you're in that all day long. Right? Like, I'm pretty sure my girls were in it from like one o'clock until the party was over around 11 midnight.

SPEAKER_02 29:36

Right, which is why I always say to clients, like, when you're going to try on a wedding dress, a bridesmaid dress, a prom dress, I always have this conversation like, you have to eat before. Because you need to know what it feels like to be in that dress having Ian. Because so often, like the eating disorder, diet culture voice comes in of like, well, don't eat before, right? Don't eat before you're gonna go try on all these dresses. But yeah, you don't realize, like, you're in that dress for probably like 12 hours almost, right? Like it felt like forever. Forever. Yeah. So it's like you're going to be eating during that time, you're going to be sweating during that time, you're going to be drinking during that time, you're going to need to use the bathroom during that time. Like, you want to have the experience of like what does this outfit actually feel like living in it and not just like pretending in it.

SPEAKER_03 30:28

And that's why I always say to people, too, like, do some weird moves in the changing room. Right? Like, if you have to do like do a split. Yeah, do a split for me, please. And thank you. That is all I don't think people understand. I actually just had this conversation with my family the last night. We were talking about like I forgot, we were talking about pregnancy or something. And my mom was like, Who would try and do like a like who would try and do like the certain dance move pregnant? And I was like, I was two weeks before my induction date doing splits in the living room. And my mom looked at me and she goes, What? And I went, I want to see if I could do a split pregnant. So I just did it. And she was like, Jessica, I very enjoy doing a split. It's my big party trick. Whereas like, why would I bring why were we? Oh, do weird things in the changing room because you dancing, you standing, you sitting, you have no idea what this dress is going to feel like in all of the facets or all of the uh poses, if you will. So try it on in those uh ways so then you actually know, like, okay, this is what I feel like when I'm sit. I actually hate this, I actually would not rather that. And it could be like maybe it's too flowy and you want something a little more snug. Maybe it's too snug, you want something a little more flowy. Give yourself the opportunity to have the choice.

SPEAKER_02 31:46

Exactly. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, because again, you want to be fully present. And if you're uncomfortable in what you're wearing, it takes away from your ability to be fully present.

SPEAKER_03 32:00

And that also could just be because you said strapless, my dress was strapless. And I'm even thinking about one of my best friends from college. I remember her being like, I'm comfortable in my body, but I know I don't want strapless just because I don't want to have to hoist it up all night long. So your decisions of a dress also don't have to be negative in the sense of body image, but it just could be, I don't want to have to think about pulling something up, or I don't want to have to think about, like, I don't know if this is coming across the way I want to come across. Like, just because you're having a thought about a dress doesn't mean it's negatively intended of like a negative body image. Just like you said, like it's just what feels comfortable to where you're not thinking like, okay, I have to hoist this up. It's just like I can live without having to think about things, whether neutral or negative.

unknown 32:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:50

Does that make sense? Yeah, exactly. Like, yeah, it makes sense because even the example I was thinking of as you were saying that was like I intentionally chose shoes that I knew would feel really, really comfortable because I didn't want to have to think about changing shoes or packing another pair of shoes or changing it to flip-flops. So like exactly I intentionally had this like very, very little kind of block heel because I knew all right, if I wear anything that's gonna be higher than this, like then that's like a whole other thing than I'm gonna be thinking of. And now my feet hurt and like I have blisters and all of that. Like you're just like, yeah, there's a way to plan for it logistically, yeah, that is about your appearance, but doesn't have to be about body image.

SPEAKER_03 33:30

Hundred percent. Thank you so much because that example made much more sense. So it's pretty good.

SPEAKER_02 33:36

No, yours did too. But yeah, I mean, I feel like kind of overall, you know, we've done we've done wedding and special event episodes before, but with it being the anniversary, you know, for both of us, right? Like Jessica's two, right? Two years.

SPEAKER_03 33:54

Yes, two years. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 33:55

Yeah, two-year wedding anniversary, and mine five. We wanted to make sure that we like got to retouch on this topic again and and have some content around it too, because like we said, we've both been looking at a lot of wedding pictures and reminiscing back and are having those experiences. So always want to share what our experiences are with you all, too.

SPEAKER_03 34:15

Yeah, and if you guys ever have any questions about, you know, other things in particular around wedding and you know, even the pressures of like decor, flowers, venue, right? Like a lot of this could also just be mentally of that I want things to look a certain type of way, and that's not body or dress related. So if you guys have any other questions about like comparison, things like that, let us know because we could do more episodes for sure. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 34:46

All right. Well, thank you everybody for listening, and we will catch you on the next one.

SPEAKER_03 34:52

Bye. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Nourish and Empower Podcast.

SPEAKER_02 35:00

We hope this episode helped you redefine, reclaim, and restore what health means to you.

SPEAKER_03 35:07

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