Persistence in Prayer with Kylie Hein

Episode 47: Our Limitations Are Our Gift With Katie Donahue

March 05, 2024 Kylie Hein, Katie Donahue
Persistence in Prayer with Kylie Hein
Episode 47: Our Limitations Are Our Gift With Katie Donahue
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Show Notes Transcript

Human limitations can often feel like a heavy burden. You don't have the energy to keep up with all of the day-to-day tasks. You feel like there isn't enough of you to go around. You find yourself in tears of frustration because the high standard of excellence that you hold yourself to feels impossible in your circumstances. 

You my friend, are not alone. BUT, what if you could see all of those constraints as a way to more fully what God has called you to be? What if in the midst of feeling smothered in your motherhood, your work, and all of your time constraints, you could actually grow in excellence?

Join Host, Kylie Hein as she interviews guest, Katie Donahue, an Integrative Catholic Life Coach who is using her gifts to help women transform from the inside out. 

In this episode we break down how setting boundaries with our “yes” and with our “no” is key to living with purpose. As we strive for sainthood in the busyness, God offers us reprieve in loving the limitations that he has created us with. 

Also, join Kylie is celebrating the completion of 9 months of intense prayer with St. Ignatius and the 19th annotation. She is offering extremely discounted 1:1 coaching sessions to give back from the graces received. If you want to be one of the few to claim a spot, send an email with the number “19” to today. (Spots are limited so don’t wait!)

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Have you ever wondered why it is that. Some of the saints could stay up all night, praying or survive on the Eucharist alone. Or by locate. Or even fly. Well, the truth is the saints did not fall from heaven that way. They simply participated in. God choosing them. And responding to his grace. To grow in the fullness of who they were created to be. And so too, we are called to do this very same thing. God has chosen us. We do not choose him. And he has asked us to be his disciples. So, how do we get to the point of being flying saints? Well, we may never actually fly, but our souls may soar to God and we may one day find ourselves in union with him. But first we have to take a step back and we have to look. At our own lives and how we are living. Are we willing to say the hard, no, and mean it and stick to it. Even when it's not what we feel like we want to do in that moment. Are we willing to say yes to. The thing that's scary. To the unknown when we don't know the outcome, simply because the Lord has invited us to it. And this episode, I am joined by an incredible integrative Catholic life coach named Katie. And we are going to talk about the incredible freedom that you are going to now have in your life. When you make the choice to start saying no to things that are not for you. And allowing those opportunities to go to someone else that God has perfectly. Created for them. Hello, beautiful souls, and welcome to the Persistence in Prayer podcast hosted by Catholic Mindset coach, wife, mother, educator, and speaker, Kylie Hine. Kylie is passionate about helping you deepen your relationship with God through the power of prayer. This podcast is a space for high achievers who want to do it all, but also want to prioritize their spiritual life and grow in faith. Join us as we explore the beauty of persistence in prayer and the transformative impact it can have on our lives. Get ready to discover practical tips, insights, and inspiration to help you develop a daily prayer practice and cultivate a deeper sense of trust in God's plan for your life. Let's journey together towards a more fulfilled and faithful life as we invite the Holy Spirit in. Let's begin. Hello, everyone, and welcome back. Today, I'm joined by Katie Donahue. Katie is the founder of the Integrated Life. She is an occupational therapist, life coach, and lifelong Catholic. She has been married to her husband, Kevin, for over 32 years and is a mom of 12, seven on earth, ages 31 through 12, with five souls in heaven. And she is a grandma to two. Katie and her husband have educated their children at home for over 20 years, and their nest is shifting in big ways. As a devoted lifelong Catholic, Katie has learned the importance and necessity of having a firm spiritual foundation with Christ at the center of all areas of life. Without Him, there is no transformation. Welcome, Katie. Thank you, Kiley. I'm so honored to be here with you today. Can you introduce yourself I mean, I gave the bio, but let us know a little bit about where you live, what your work is, who you serve. Sure. So as you said, I've been married to my husband, Kevin, for, it will be 33 years here in May. And, we have seven kids all, well, I can't say all ages and stages anymore because they're really not, we have five that are grown and out of the house. One is married with two kids. And, then we have. Two daughters left here at home. So, two grandbabies, it's so beautiful to have grandchildren and just see this, this growth in our family and just the love and the joy that they bring. It's, it's really, really special. The only issue with that is, is they live in Chicago, and that's really far away from where we are here just outside of Glacier National Park, in just one of the most beautiful parts of the world. We really, really love it here. But, I came into, this area where we live. There's not a whole lot of, ministry or outreach for Catholic moms. So, I've started several. Rural Bible studies and my husband and I have been part of marriage ministry. So there's always been this desire in me to reach out to other women and support them on this journey through motherhood and honestly growing into who they are as women, as wives, as mothers, God's beloved daughters. So just accompanying women on this journey has been really fulfilling and important work for me to be doing. Um, recently, a big thing in our lives is that, my husband and I are discerning the permanent diaconate. So we are currently in with our diocese here. so it's a five year process and I'm pretty sure we're going to be discerning the whole way through up until, God willing, if he makes it to ordination, um, that's when the discerning will stop. but it is, it has been a beautiful, beautiful experience. And we are just so humbled and honored to be a part of the process. And boy, there is. There's just so much to learn about our faith. I mean, every time we go for our weekends, of formation, our minds are just blown by the depth and the beauty. Our faith is just so incredible. And we just fall in love with it more and more. So that has been a huge blessing. And that's been a big change for our family too, because that's, we're, we're working on those things. We're doing the reading, and, you know, what, what does that mean for us? So we're just taking it one step at a time and it's been a really beautiful process so far with incredible, amazing formators and other, prospective candidates as well. I have a friend who's going through the same process and I don't think that most people realize that when the men go through the process, their wives. Go with them. Yes, that is correct. We, we are required to be a part of all of the formation, and it's optional for us to do the writing. So, I do some of the writing. I don't hand mine in for critique or anything, but it is, it is really beautiful and I love accompanying my husband on this journey. So it really is important to be, his spiritual support as he is my spiritual support. I have the opportunity now to, do the same for him. Yeah, and as we ask people to pray for this discernment for you guys and for anyone else going through this process, can you share one thing, I know I have one thing in my mind that comes up when I've talked to friends about permanent deaconate in terms of what that means for your family life. Is there anything like big, big discernment piece that's come up for you guys? Um, you know, the one big thing that's come up is just like geographically, you know, we, we want to be where our kids and our grandkids are. So, what does that look like? But we also love it here. We, we do feel a calling to be where we are right now. So that's, that has been kind of the one thing that will come and go. As, you know, just as our children, I literally, our children are throughout the country and as they continue in their education and their jobs and the things that they do, will they come back, or, you know, or will we just have to travel to go see them, which is not exactly easy from where we are most of the time. So, or cheap, and I know God will work that all out. I mean, He will, he will put us where he needs us to be. We truly believe that. so right now we're just, at his disposal and just going one month at a time in this formation. And, I know that he will make that path clear and just, like I said, put us where he needs us. Absolutely. So you're an integrative coach. That's the word that you use, right? Integrative life coach. Yeah. Okay. So for people that maybe don't know what that means, can you explain? Yes. So, I am an integrated life coach. And that means that we look at the whole person. We go to the foundation of who you are in Christ. So we start there with the spiritual life and who God made you to be. And then we go from there. Um, having that relationship with him first and foremost, and then discovering who he made you to be through temperaments and spiritual gifts, just natural talents and abilities that you may have, different things that God is calling you to, how do you discern those things and become truly who you are? And then once you know all that, the third area is service, and that's where you can really make. Use of who God made you to be, make your yes mean yes for those things that you are gifted in and your no mean no for those things that are meant for someone else to do, because we are not meant to do it all. As busy moms, it feels like it sometimes and, an analogy that I often talk about is, you know, all the different hats that we wear, as, especially like as a homeschool mom, I'm mom, I'm teacher, I'm chauffeur. So many things that are placed upon me that I need to do for my family. But those aren't individual aspects. I'm not one person here and another person there. I'm Katie. I am who I am with my gifts, and I'm limited, honestly. That's one of the things that we talk about in this is to be fully integrated and whole. We also Not only recognize our gifts and our talents and our callings, but also our limitations. And oftentimes our limitations are huge gifts. So to take a look at that whole person and realize I don't have to be divided. I'm not one person at work and a different person at this meeting tonight and a different person at home. That's exhausting. So we take the whole person back at the foundation of who we were made to be and discover that beautiful woman. That's. inside Yeah, I love that you said no means no, and that we are not supposed to do everything. I talk about this a lot, but I think we can know it in our brains, like that we're not called to do everything, but we can still feel like we're supposed to do everything or that I don't know what to put down. Or it's not possible to put anything down. I think that's a belief that a lot of women have is it's not possible to put anything down. These are my circumstances and this is what I'm dealt and this is what I have to deal with. What do you say to those women who come to you with those beliefs? Yeah, with those beliefs when they feel like they have, so many irons in the fire and just this image of, the whole world crashing down if one of them is let go. We look at the top priorities. First of all, spiritual life. How's your prayer life? Secondly, are you taking care of yourself? Health, nutrition, sleep, exercise, those things are important so you can serve your family. And then the next thing is, as a wife, as a mom, what are the things that are important? So we kind of have this little hierarchy of kind of an upside down hierarchy because the, the bottom is the spiritual life and finding our strength and purpose there. But, um, giving the courage to pull one of those iron Irons out and see what happens. Do you really have to be doing this? Is this about status? Is this about pleasing people? What's at the root of having this desire or this thought that you have to do everything? And I have been there. I am sanguine to the core and I do not like saying, if somebody asks me to do something, I almost feel obligated, like I have to do it. And it's shiny and new. Right? Yep. But that's not, that may not be what I'm called to do. So, we walk through how to discern that and to pray about it. And, and also to realize that if you do take that on and it's not yours, you're. You're stressed, you're anxious, your husband can see it, your kids can see it, but you've also taken that opportunity from the person that is supposed to do it. So maybe you know the person that is supposed to be, taking this on or completing that task or, volunteering at church for whatever. But to help in that process to, if you say no to it, um, you know, to pray about, okay, who is supposed to do that and pass it on. It's okay. There are certain things that you are, not replaceable in, and those are limited, but there are many, many things that we do where we are replaceable. And, that was, for me, that was a huge, huge lesson that I learned, back in my O. T. days when I was working full time as an occupational therapist and had kids, littles. And I love, I love, love, love being an O. T. Um, just. Absolutely love helping people and families and children and, I've worked in pretty much every arena, and just have really enjoyed, enjoyed it all. But the bottom line was that, I just couldn't keep doing it all. And I would get called, Hey, can you see this patient? And I would feel so bad by saying no, because they're calling me. I'm the one that I can do the best. I have to go do this because. You know, so and so is calling me for this referral and, it was really eyeopening, leaving my kids, going to work, coming home. I mean, it all, it all fit together. It flowed pretty well. But there came this point where I was not happy doing that anymore. That constant work, feeling like I had to do it. And then I just realized that this, in this area, I am definitely replaceable. Yep, even if there's a shortage of OTs, that's fine. I'm, I am replaceable but I'm not replaceable at home. I'm not replaceable to my kids or to my husband. So that really helped me. I went down to part time. To kind of scale things down a little bit. I was still doing what I loved, also being able to be home and present. And over the years that has dwindled down to PRN and my own practice and not working at all. So there's been, that's one of the great things about being an OT is my schedule can be my own. But I had to go through this process of kind of overcoming myself and realizing that, yeah, there's someone else that can do this. Amen. It doesn't. I think sometimes the thought that we instantly jumped to is, yeah, there is, but I can do it better. And it's, it's a little bit, it's a little bit prideful, but maybe you can do it better. That doesn't mean that you're supposed to. And then just like you said, the guilt at saying no, well, if I say no, who's going to do this thing? I think we can get stuck in that loop in our heads, but really it's the fear of, of letting go of it. And, and what happens is when we never say no, we ended up getting taken advantage of because the people around us know. You're the one who's going to do it, and you're going to do it well, no matter how much I give you, and you are going to work yourself to the bone, you're going to get overstressed, overwhelmed, you're going to get to the point of that, like, almost mental breakdown, and you're going to keep pushing through until something crashes. Yes. And it completely crashes and we have to stop and we have to slow down. And so I think what I hear you saying, and I know what I, part of my work and I feel really passionate about is helping women understand we don't have to get to that point. Right. We can recognize it first. Yes. Yes. Because otherwise, even after the crash, we're going to go back to doing the same thing we were doing before. Right. Yeah. What is the lesson from that crash? And I actually had a. a physical crash. I got really, really sick, back in 1998. This is years and years ago, and had, just six months of just awful sickness and, couldn't work. And that was kind of, you know, God was definitely calling me, to something greater that I can, I can see that now. At the time it was a huge loss, because I'm not a very good sick person. I don't Any people who are, you know, when you are just incapacitated and, can't do a whole lot for yourself, it's really, it's really humbling, and humiliating, but also learning that lesson to take one thing at a time. And to learn that, okay, that's what it took for me to realize that I can't do it all because it really did affect my health, and came out on the other end, like you said, thinking, okay, I'm going to go back to work. I'm going to get right back to it. And, that's not what, that's not what God was calling me to do. So I really had to scale back after that and just reassess where I was at because I could only do so much. So. Absolutely. We are limited. Yes. Hey friends. Do you feel yourself heading for a crash or you desperately trying to stop it? By relying more and more on yourself. To pick up all the pieces to forge ahead and just shoved them all the emotions because you don't have time to feel them. And just keep working harder because if you work harder and you do all the right things, it's going to be enough. I want to tell you you're already enough. And doing all of those extra things. Is just going to lead you to a crash where you inevitably are going to have to rest. Hey friends. My name is Kylie Hein and I am a Catholic life coach, and I would love to help you reassess where you are at and find clarity in what God is asking you to do in this moment. Maybe it's to slow down and maybe it is just keep pushing through and forge ahead. But we don't know until we take the time to ask. I am celebrating. The completion of nine months of praying every single day with the 19th annotation exercises of Saint Ignatius of Loyola. And in honor of that, I have felt it on my heart to give back in a big way. So I am giving away. A one hour coaching session for the incredible, and probably never to be seen again, price of$19. So if you want to join me in finding clarity in your Colleen. To get guidance and decision-making, or to really just learn what it looks like to have deep and meaningful prayer lives while you are in the midst of your busy season. I would love to meet you all. You have to do. Is send me an email or reach out to me on Instagram and say 19. So, you talked about the foundation being the spiritual life, and Something I've seen come up again and again lately, especially as we're heading into Lent, is how do I fit in all the prayers? I want to pray, but I don't know how, or I don't have time. And I truly believe, and I want everyone to, to know this, that it doesn't matter how busy you are, everyone can have deep and meaningful prayer lives. So what are your suggestions for how we can just keep prayer and life in general very simple? Yes, so I, I believe that it is, it is very, very simple and the process behind it is this is. A decision that you make. There's bookending your day. When you first thing, when you wake up, when your eyes pop open, gratitude, a little morning offering, before you get going with your day, in the Deaconate program,, we are obliged to pray liturgy of the hours. I did it with my husband. So we do that as a couple. We make time for that morning and evening. but it doesn't have to be that. I think the simplest way I like to call it bookending your day in prayer. And also if you can think about like being on a highway, you know, the guard rails, and then you guard rail the rest of your day in prayer as moms with full lives, it oftentimes is just. A decision in our minds to do something as an offering or to say a Hail Mary before, you know, taking on this math lesson or, there really are simple ways to integrate prayer throughout your entire day. And if you look at the amount of time that you spend in prayer at the end of the day, you'll probably be surprised by how much it is. If you're truly intentional throughout the day, the other thing that I like to tell moms to do is have visuals around you. I'm like Kylie, like I see right behind you. I see the face of Christ and I see a cross and things that can draw your mind to, um, just that present moment and being grateful for it. Um, just a little thing that came to me several years ago is, when you look at a digital clock, like in the van or your car, or, um, maybe on the, on the stove or wherever it is. Um, it started off for me years ago, I would, I saw the numbers three, it was 3 33 PM in the afternoon. So that just, numbers mean things to me. So I was like, Oh, it's the Holy Trinity, like times three, you know? So thank you. God moment to recognize that, that this moment is sacred. And I'm grateful to be where I'm at with the opportunities that I have. So to turn those moments into prayer. So at first it was like, every time all the numbers on the clock were the same would be like, Ooh, call the prayer. And I would call it out. Like we're driving somewhere or here at home. I would look at the clock. It's one 11. Thank you, Lord, or come Holy spirit or whatever. So. That has morphed into okay, so two of the numbers are the same and now it's any time. So, you know, just taking those little steps in growing in just that discipline of every opportunity, throughout the day when you look at the clock or whatever it is, if you have an image or across or, um, maybe the messy kitchen table, you know, to set those little bells in your mind that, okay, that's, this is a moment to be grateful and to call on God for help or to surrender something. I mean, there's, there's always something to be grateful for and always something to surrender. So those, those have been little helpful. things in the prayer life and just using what's around us. It doesn't have to be complicated at all. Amen. I can't, you know, I don't know this prayer or, um, you know, there's so many prayers to know we can just pray from her heart just in gratitude. So, but also we have lots of beautiful, formulated prayers like the rosary and chaplet of divine mercy and, to integrate those throughout your day too, can be really beautiful as well. Yeah, and I love the vocal prayers throughout the day when it doesn't take a lot of thought, you know, you can say Hail Mary's while you're doing the dishes or while you're folding laundry. That's when I like to implement a lot of my vocal prayers. And then, like you said, the bookends on the day, mine's always morning mental prayer. First thing in the morning when I wake up and my daily examine at night. And just like the visuals for you, I've found I'm so much more successful at working toward that praying without ceasing. When I. I tie my prayers to something I'm doing. So my daily examine is more likely to get done if I tie it to putting my kids to bed. As soon as the kids are in bed, and they'll even call me out on it. Mom, did you say your prayers? Like, did you, but did you do your extra prayers? Like, they know which ones I I intend to pray at that time of day or getting in the car. I mean, there's a certain prayer I say every time I start my car and put on my seatbelt and it just becomes a habit and then you can slowly build on it. But we don't have to have all of that at the beginning. No, not at all. Not at all. Um, and I just wanted to say what a beautiful example you're setting for your kids when they, when they turn around and help hold you accountable. You're, you know, just modeling that. That prayer is important to them. It's really beautiful. And like you said, you know, just tying it to something, those anchors throughout the day to, bring you back. To, to gratitude and whatever your needs might be. So, That's Yeah. And I know something you've talked about, this is something I talk about a lot, is having a plan of life or a rule of life. Not as a checklist, but just, I, I actually call it, I have a handout that I give to my clients and it's called just a way of being. So it's just the way that we want to show up and we want to be throughout the day and it's to help us be mindful and it can start with just one thing and it's not to make ourselves feel guilty if we miss it. It's just, hey, this is a goal, just like we would set a goal for going to the gym or anything else and to do it. Intentionally and prayerfully, not as a, you know, fly through the rosary beads because I feel like I have to say a rosary for a million things, but I'm curious, how has your rule of life changed over the years? Oh, boy. Yes, it has changed a lot, actually. Well, yes and no, um, because I have fewer kids at home. So, I was first introduced to a rule of life. Um, Oh, probably like in 1995, when my second daughter was born and, there was a little pamphlet at church on a rule of life. And it really struck me. It's all about St. Benedict and his rule. that, wow. I mean, that was, it really struck me that there, there is something to this. Um, so, yeah. Then what drew me in a couple years later was, A Mother's Rule of Life, the book by, I believe it's Holly, Holly Pirlo, I think was her name. I hope I'm saying her last name right. But that, really drew me in and inspired me to establish a concrete rule of life for our home, for, Myself for every single one of my kids had one, we wrote it all down and I had a three ring binder with everything in it. We had our daily rule. We had a weekly, monthly, yearly, you know, just to, to help things run. At that point in our lives, we had, um, four kids homeschooling. I wasn't working at that particular point. But feeling just so out of order, um, I needed that, um, that rule of life to really get things down on paper to show me that, yes, I can do this and I can get things done. And for my kids too, they were, my kids were so great about it. they loved having the schedule because they knew when I was theirs. For school and when I was someone else and they knew what they needed to be doing, when I wasn't working directly with them. It was really, really beautiful the way that that all came together and that took time. That was, that was a humdinger of a project. Let me tell you to get all of that down and, and to do it prayerfully was really, really beautiful. And I still have that original three ring binder and I look at it and go, wow. Wow, We really made things happen. so the way that it is transformed for me now is I'm not as rigid, um, as, um, as I was then. You know, you kind of learn how to be flexible in those moments when you're looking at that, your rule of life and your timeline and the schedule for the day and okay, if you're off a few minutes. You know, no big deal. And there's there's some things that are not worth getting worked up about. But now my rule of life is a lot more flexible. I love sharing it with my girls. They're each working on building their own right now. And it's definitely not as rigid. We don't schedule our time. We go more by the day and Um, daily like, okay, this is what's happening today. And just being open to what God has placed in front of us, um, here. Where we live. We don't have, huge opportunities for daily mass. Their wonky times that are like, all right. So, you know, do we start school and then go to mass or, you know, do we wait? Um, so we, we try to go to daily mass four days a week when it's offered. And I tell them that's the most important thing we do today. That's on our schedule and they're old enough now, where they don't necessarily need. My help with everything, or sometimes even anything, honestly, because they can do their own lessons and they submit their stuff themselves and, they're pretty good about it. But the most important thing we do on the days when daily mass is offered is to get to mass and then we talk about it. We pray on the way there. And we talk about Father's homily on the way home and what's on the agenda for the day. Um, you know, and we do have a pretty good rhythm. We know what happens on Mondays and Tuesdays and, if we want to take a break and go to the coffee shop and do school, let's do that. You know, if there's something that comes up, we're not as, as rigid per se as I used to be. That is for sure. And my older kids can definitely attest to that. Yeah, I want to call everyone's attention to a couple things you said. First of all, you said that you are sanguine, and for anyone who doesn't know what sanguine means, sanguines do not like to be put in a box. They like things that are fun. And Katie is saying that she has structure not only for herself, but for her whole family. It is likely that there are other Sanguins in her family because Katie is Sanguine, which means, if she can do this, you can do this. If it is helpful for a Sanguine, it's going to be helpful for all of us. And it really just comes down to knowing yourself. And how much structure do you need? So, for me, I know my morning prayer, I need to stick as close to my set time as possible. Sometimes I have to adjust it just for the sake of sleep. But if I'm not consistent in sticking to that same time every single day, it's so easy to slip and not do it at all. But the rest of my day, I can be pretty flexible with. My rosary is not set at the same time every day. My, examen is tied to whenever my kids go to sleep. Is it the same general time? Kind of, but It varies, especially on the weekends. And so, you can still have flexibility. The other thing she talked about, her plan of life is not just prayers. It's not just mass. This can include the way that you're going to show up, like, I'm not going to complain when I do dishes. That's going to be something on my plan of life because I feel like this is where I'm really struggling. You can focus on a particular virtue or, on your body. we're talking about wholeness, integrative. And you can include things like 20 minutes of exercise a day and that can be part of it too, but just starting simple and allowing it to evolve and being gentle with yourself, I think is really important. Yes, all of that. And, one of the The great ways to start is just to look at sections of your day, like in the morning, this is what I want to accomplish, maybe morning prayer, and know what's for dinner, you know, in the afternoon after lunch, okay, clean up lunch, what is lunch, you know, what are we going to do in the afternoon, and just, start simple, and then in the evening, like you said, is it family rosary, is it, family prayer time, Um, meals, we, we anchor a lot to meals here. So, think about those, those major things that happen in your day and how you can kind of break it down to incorporate simple things. And just, like you said, Kylie, just it's, it starts simple. Just start with one thing, and be successful with that. And don't beat yourself up for not doing what, you know, your friend at church is doing. Because we're all, we're all on this journey and we're not. We're not able to do it and take it all on at once. So one thing, you even have that on your website, Luke 10, 42, the one thing, one thing is needed. And I know this is a huge part. I try to participate in the apostolate VA community as often as possible with Dan Burke. And that's one of the core components is only one thing is needed and that is prayer sitting at the feet of Jesus. And if you start your day with that. And give that first fruit to the Lord in the morning. Everything else is eventually going to fall into place. Just trusting the process. Right. Yeah, for sure. And that, makes me think of, the courses that I have is, um, called foundation and it's building your foundation. And we were, in Helena for, I can't even remember what we were there for last fall, but, Our cathedral in Helena is being restored right now because there was an earthquake. Um, oh, goodness. I want to say in the 1930s. And the two spires on our cathedral were damaged. So they were, patched up. But the time has come where they need like full renovation. So, that's what's happening now. And they build the scaffolding all the way up around the spire. It's really a sight to behold, as they're restoring it. But, We were at Mass and, as this is happening on the outside of the cathedral, they're, they're, restoring it, but, Father Mark is the pastor there and he had this beautiful meditation about, what was happening to the cathedral and I tied it to, the importance of having this foundation in Christ. So he said, there's two spires on the cathedral. One of them was damaged more than the other. And they didn't know why. I mean, like significantly more. And they, could not figure out why one was damaged more than the other. And what they found out was the post that they drilled down way down into the ground. One of the posts was firmly rooted in the bedrock. The other, even though it went down the same amount into the earth, was not So that's how they determined that as the earthquake shook the building, um, one was firmly rooted in the bedrock, the other was not. And so there was damage. That was, significant that's that they're repairing right now, but that it just struck me that the importance of us as human beings and made in the image and likeness of God, how we need to be firmly rooted in him and who he's calling us to be. Because if we're not. I mean, we just flail around with whatever is next and as the winds blow and life happens, do we crumble? Do we fall apart? Can we put ourselves back together because we're grounded in Him or, or not? So, I just thought, I hope I retold that story, um, Yeah, that's great. As, as, uh, to give Father Mark justice in what he was talking about. But, I mean, it just goes to show not just physical things, but, immaterial things, spiritual things, how we just need to be rooted in Christ so that we can just be firm in who we are. So yeah, there's a lot of darkness out there right now. There's a lot of turmoil and That's actually one of the things I want to talk about. I feel like sometimes we can be in this place where it's like, our life is a dumpster fire and everything, everything is on fire. Right. There used to be this coffee mug my friend gave me when I was teaching and talked about how teaching is like riding a bicycle and all of these other things and the bicycles on fire. And it. Sometimes life can feel like that. And when this episode comes out, it's going to be in the middle of Lent. You run a Simple 40 Lent Challenge, and there are three components, spiritual, self, and service. And I talk a lot in here about spiritual and self, but we haven't talked a lot about service. When you feel like everything's on fire, how do you fit service in there in a healthy way? Because so many of us are very giving. We're ready to jump on. If someone asks for help, like we talked about earlier, how do we know when to say no? And when to serve. Right. That is a great question, especially in Lent, when, sometimes people save all of their, well, I'll just do that during Lent. I'll do that during Lent. Um, and you just, you just can't do that. We're just, we're not made that way. I think for service in Lent, first look at your family because service doesn't necessarily mean being out there and serving others. That's really important. But if you can't serve your family at home first, it's difficult to serve other people. And some people will do that. They will ignore family and go out and serve all day long and not be present at home. But there's a price to pay for that. So my suggestion is start with family meals. Are you planning your meals? Are you preparing them? Are you setting the table for dinner? Start with those simple things at home that are meaningful to your family. Start serving there, and then you can branch out from there. I know there are so many opportunities during Lent, especially at church, like to help with fish fries or Stations of the Cross. There are different things that you can pitch in to help with, and I think that's great. I would say, you know, Just sign up for something and do it as a family, but it doesn't have to be every day. It can be very, very simple and just say, okay, we're going to go to stations of the cross. Yeah, that's a regular thing we do, but does your church set up for something? Do they have something afterwards? Is there something you can do to help out with, to kind of tie into what you're already doing as a family? I know a lot of people like to, um, hear there's, um, food banks and so many opportunities to help with the homeless, and one thing that we did a couple years ago was make, um, here at home, we made little Ziploc baggies, filled with some essentials for homeless people and would just hand them out as we were driving around, and keeping those things handy. So it doesn't have to be something that's going to take a ton of time or rep. Just use what you have and the time that you have, okay, you're going to be driving from here, across town to do some shopping, have some water bottles available, or pick some up when you're shopping and then, have the kids help you hand them out the window. I'm sure you guys have homeless people too. We've, it's, we've just, um, incredible uptick here of, of people that need help. So what, how are we called? To help in that way. I mean, we can't solve the problem. We can pass a water bottle or give a toothbrush. But I think ultimately for service, it starts at home. If you're married, being present for your spouse and serving your husband in a way that is meaningful, having, making time for conversation, eye contact to pray together, to talk. So I think, That's where we build that foundation for service. And then we can take it out, you know, even having people over for dinner or going to a friend's house. What can we bring? How about we all bring our rosaries? Can we all pray together? You know, simple things like that, that start at home. That's so good. I thought of, Mother Teresa of finding your own Calcutta. Where is your Calcutta? It doesn't have to look like somebody else's. There are so many problems in the world, but if you aren't fixing the ones in your own home first, and I know it's been a huge game changer for us being intentional, like you said about meals, just sitting down to eat together, not the kids eating while I'm still cooking and then me eating separate and all of those things, it's so easy to fall into that pattern of trying to be efficient. And not really pausing. And I love when we can sit together and we talk about what was the best part of your day. We call them thank you gods. And it's a great way to teach your kids too, how to just pause and thank the Lord for whatever was good. Even if they did feel like it was a train wreck, there was always something good. And when it's difficult for us to pick out those moments, when we hear the moments that other people have chosen, I think it makes it a little bit easier to find them in our own. Life and when we have to say them out loud, that can be really helpful. And also it encourages us to be present. I'm so guilty in my own life. And this was something that my husband called me out on when we were dating. It was actually such a blessing. We did, I ran a couple's temperaments workshop recently and my husband went through it with me as well. And one of the things he complimented me on was that that is no longer an issue of me going so far off balance of pouring myself too much into something that I'm not present because I always felt like I had to multitask. You know, if I'm sitting there helping my daughter with spelling words, will I need to be answering an email on my phone at the same time? And we're not really present when we're doing those things. We say that we're multitasking, but really that just means we're, we're half doing multiple things. We're not doing any of them well. And it's not serving us and it's not serving the people who need us, right? 100 percent agree. And isn't it just, you know, the temperaments and knowing your spouse's temperament, knowing your kids temperaments. It's so enlightening and helpful because we can, you know, give them space when they need it. I just love that work. I love that work. Yes. It's so good. And I always think of this analogy, I know I've brought it up on the podcast before, and maybe you've read it. There's a priest they talk about in the book, Soul of the Apostolate, and he talks about the heart and the arm, and the heart is the interior life, and the arm cannot work without the beating heart. The heart can exist without the arm, which is the work and the service. But the interior life, that has to be operating, and when we are ordered in our interior life, when we take that time for prayer, then all of the exterior life is ordered, and we are more able to discern which projects we are supposed to be picking up, and we're gonna be able to identify which problem we can help solve, and have the energy to help solve it, because we're not just impulsively Doing whatever is thrown our way. Okay. I want to ask you some just for fun questions. I always love to give the audience a chance to get to know our guests. And the sunflower has significance for you. Will you share your story about the sunflower? Yes. So, my attachment to the sunflower comes from my sister, Tara, who, um, she passed away, at age 16, back in 1994, and, her favorite flower was the sunflower. And, so every time I see one, of course, I think of her. So I decided to just Pull that in to my work and kind of use it as my logo, my symbol. But, you know, come to find out there is, there's just so much depth to the way God made the sunflower. I mean, it really is fascinating how throughout the day, the flowers and many flowers do this, but sunflowers in particular, they keep their face towards the sun, as the sun. Goes across the sky throughout the day. The sunflower turns and follows that. And also at, um, when the sunflower comes to the end of its life, it has all these seeds, hundreds and hundreds of seeds that, pour forth from the heart of the sunflower. So there are many, many beautiful things that, that come from that, but, The first and foremost one was that it was my sister's favorite and they lived in Kansas. Still a lot of my family is there in Kansas and, that's, very meaningful for just that part of the country. And, it's really just, become part of who I am and my kids know, behind me here. Oh, you can't see it cause it's, blurred out, but, my kids have drawn sunflowers for me and painted them and. One really beautiful instance was, probably about five years ago, um, my daughter did this little painting class and she decided to paint a sunflower and, she was She's grown and out of the house and she came home, and it happened to be my sister's birthday, which is January 11th. And she was home for that weekend. And so she, unbeknownst to her, she painted me this sunflower and she gave it to me on my sister's birthday. And so it's just like so, so like just profound that, you know, I know God cares and he's watching over us and, he knows that we miss her and we love having these little representations of her, throughout our days and. They're, they're around. I've got them all over. I'm in my little rosary workshop right here right now and I've got, two sunflowers in front of me and several behind me and, it just kind of keeps me rooted and, um, and who God is calling me to be and is a reminder to keep my face turned to him. Amen. We actually had sunflowers at my wedding. So I think of my wedding when I see sunflowers. Yeah. What is your sister's name? Her name is Tara. Tara. So when we see sunflowers, we can pray for Tara. Pray for, for the repose of the soul of my sweet sister Tara and, um, yeah, that would be awesome. So you're in Montana. My husband and I took a trip to Montana this past summer and had So much fun. We went hiking, we went kayaking. What are your favorite things to do in Montana? Oh man, my favorite thing, well, it's very seasonal. Right now, um, in the wintertime, I love cross country skiing. We've got great trails here. The weather hasn't been so great for that lately, but hopefully, you know, it's been snowy, and then frigid, and then icy, and I don't like skiing on ice. but we did just have a really great My husband and I took a little date on Sunday afternoon and went cross country skiing. It was just stunningly beautiful. So in the wintertime we do enjoy that and snowshoeing when we, when we get out. Um, in the summertime, oh, we just love hiking. Um, just getting out in nature. I mean, it's just, it's breathtakingly beautiful here. I mean, to make it to a top of a mountain and just behold creation in front of you, you know, when you can see for miles and miles and miles, it's, it's awesome. We love, love hiking and love, when you get to a point, whether it's a lake or, you know, the end of the hike, or maybe you just turn around on the trail, whatever, there's also a physical component in knowing that, you know, I can do this. I can climb up this mountain, and do hard things, uh, so we kind of, we try to get out. Sometimes it's hard because the kids don't want to go, and their older siblings tell them, you guys are missing out because they miss it. They're not here anymore. And so they miss being in the mountains. But, yeah, we do love it. Um, the cross country skiing and hiking, maybe getting into some backpacking this next summer. My husband and the kids that have been backpacking, it's a ton of work. I don't know. I don't know about me putting on like a 40, 50 pound backpack and and doing one of those hikes. I don't know. I'm up for it. Let's try it. Um, so haven't done that just yet to go and like camp out in the mountains in a tent. Um, you know, because that's, that's not something that we did growing up, because I'm from Nebraska as well, and I mean, we didn't do those things, so, new, um, for me, it's not for, I mean, like I said, some of my family has done it, but, maybe, I've always had an excuse, maybe I'll break out this summer and do that. My husband and I have talked about if we go back, okay, we need to start, we need to start prepping now because those mountains are for real and my legs will fall off if I have to carry a tent and a backpack. Right? You know, another thing we love that does not require much leg work is just kayaking. Getting out on, oh man, there's so many beautiful lakes around here, and just getting the kayaks out on the water and just tootling around is Just love it. Love the, the silence and, um, the noise of nature, which oftentimes is nothing, um, you know, or just hearing a waterfall off in the distance or, whatever it might be. Yeah, we love getting out on the water that way as well, so. I don't know how you can be out in nature in Montana and not just Feel a prayerful presence of God, because it's so, it's so beautiful. So if you've never been to Montana, you need to go, go visit. It is beautiful. Um, and lots of people are discovering that we are, um, summer times we're, we're almost overrun, with tourists, but. That's okay. God made it not just for us, for everybody. Yes. We went right at the end of tourist season, so it was just starting to get a little bit cold, but not a ton of foot traffic, so it was pretty nice. That was the time to come. I remember when you guys came, and that was good timing. Good timing. Okay. I always like to close by asking guests for a prayer tip or a scripture verse that is meaningful. And so I'm gonna read the two that you gave me, and then if you would just tell us a little bit of reflection why those are meaningful to you or why you think that other women should have these in their back pocket for those times of needs. So the first one, I am the vine. You are the branches. Whoever remains in me and I and him will bear much fruit. Because without me, you can do nothing. That's John 15, five. And the second is, but seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be given you besides. That's Matthew 6, 33. Yeah. Oh, those just make my heart happy. The first verse, John 15, five, I am the vine. You were the branches. That ties back to my sister, Tara as well. After she passed in one of her journals, she had that. written in her, she had beautiful handwriting and her beautiful handwriting across the top of the page. And, that just, it struck me that, you know, um, even though she has gone, she's still a part of the vine, because she still has work to do, in, Even though she's not physically present on this earth any longer, and just that ties back into, you know, who God made us to be. We can't do anything without him. We really can't. He has called us to do our work, and we are this particular branch on the vine that can, that can do what we're called to do. And if we don't do it, the whole suffers. So, in order to grow, we need to be, you know, attached to the vine, which is God and Christ. So, and that's, that's kind of my motto for, the rosary business that I started in memory of my sister as well. So that all kind of ties together with the sunflower and Tara particular verse. It's all just come together so beautifully in that way. And the second verse, Seek first the kingdom of God. That is part of my rule of life. That is my scriptural motto that I have. It's, it is on the top of all of my, um, my rule of life pages and, on my foundation as well. That is my scriptural verse. Um, and that is You know, being sanguine, the first thing I need to do is seek God. So the first thing is to call on him, to seek his face. And if I do that first, everything else falls into line. So that's just my reminder, to keep him at the center and in the forefront. So thank you for sharing those two beautiful and sharing about your sister. Yes. Yeah, I'm she's just a huge part of my life. And, I love sharing about her influence on our family. One thing too, Kylie, that you asked was like a prayer tip, and I don't know if you all have discovered this or not, it's, fairly new, well maybe it's not new, I don't know how long he's been singing, but it's called Sing the Hours, with Paul Rose. And, oh my goodness, it is so stunningly beautiful. It's on YouTube, that's where we watch it anyway, and sing along or just listen, because it's just so gorgeous, um, just the music of our church. He sings morning prayer and evening prayer, and I think he started doing some night prayer as well. Sometimes he'll have a priest on there singing with him. But I'm telling you it is just stunning. So we will, my husband and I will just hit play. In the evening in particular, we usually use sing the hours for our evening prayer. We use the word on fire. Liturgy, the hours books for, our morning prayer or any time when we're not together, not, doing seeing the hours, but that would be a prayer tip and maybe a suggestion for people to pick up during lent, um, okay, just hit play and let. And let, the music of the church and the words of the Psalms, just, let it permeate you. It is so beautiful. So I would say check that out, and support them if you can, because I think it's really beautiful work. Um, and to fill the internet and YouTube with such beautiful, wonderful things is, is always good. Yes, we need more of the social media, internet, all the things for building up the kingdom and not tearing it down. So I will definitely look that up. Before we close out, can you tell us, I know you've talked about your foundations course, if anyone wants to learn more about that, where can they find information? Yes, they can, find, my website, integratedlife. co, and, just reach out to me there, the course is available online, right now it's just in written workbook form, and I can walk people through it, they can Print off the workbook and, and do it themselves. Video, like, an actual, video course of me presenting it is coming. That's just, it's a lot of work. It is. It is. I'm sure it'll be wonderful when it's all out. Yes. So that's the foundation course, and there's a rule of life course coming as well, and I have, two other courses coming down the pipes as well that I'm really excited about this year. So, God is good. He'll give me the time to get it all done, I know, and, yeah, I just, my mission is just to, support women and, give them confidence in who God made them to be so that they can be free and, do what they're called to do. Absolutely. Thank you so much for your yes to doing this work and to showing us what it looks like to set things down and to fully live out our vocations first and foremost as wives and mothers, for those of us who are married and to just embrace. All of the holy chaos, as one of my spiritual directors used to call it, the holy chaos of being a parent and also, yes, and also still having, uh, you know, that call within the call to serve in the way that you are serving and giving back to the world. So thank you for you, your yes, and thank God for the beautiful gift of. You and your family. Thank you, Kylie. Thank you for you and the gift of what you are offering all of us through your podcast and the work that you are doing and just your courage and your example of stepping away from, your job and taking this on, and being fully present for us is beautiful. I love following all your prayers on, social media. Oh, yeah. You're so consistent and faithful and just perseverance. I love it. So thank you for your witness. Thank you. Thank you again, friends for joining. You are such beautiful souls, and I know that God is working deeply within you. To change the world to bring a light into the evil and darkness that we are currently surrounded by. Again, if you are interested in taking me up on my$19 offer to celebrate the completion of my 19th annotation praise God is such a transformational journey. I would love to meet you. And all you have to do is reach out to me. At or you can simply respond to me on Instagram, send me a DM. I'm also on Facebook. Send me the word 19 or the number 19. And I will get back to you with all the details. I can't wait to meet you and learn more about how Christ is using you. On your journey. Beautiful souls, thank you again for journeying with me. If you have been blessed by this episode, it would mean the world to me if you would leave a review. Be sure to screenshot it, share it on your social media stories, and don't forget to tag me on Instagram or Facebook at Kylie M. Hine. Stay persistent in prayer, protect your peace, and as always, share the light of Christ with everyone around you.

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