When the world learns of a cancer diagnosis, the news can be heart-wrenching, but imagine grappling with this challenge in the public eye. This episode takes you through the emotional labyrinth of fighting this disease as a public figure like Kate Middleton, the Princess of Wales. We discuss the invasion of privacy that can amplify the struggle and stress the need for compassion toward those whose health battles unfold on the world stage. Then, I open up about my own journey with cancer, sharing the waves of relief that wash over me with every positive test result and the solace found in the strong bonds forged with my medical team.
Cancer doesn't just test the body; it's an emotional mountain that we climb together. This episode is an intimate gathering, a space where we honor the courage and spirit of the extraordinary people we meet along the way. While we may feel alone at times, this conversation serves as a reminder that behind each story is a community ready to support and uplift. It's a tribute to resilience, to the power of human connection, and to the shared experiences that bind us. Please join us in this reflective journey, and may it remind you that while the path may be rugged, no one walks it alone.
When the world learns of a cancer diagnosis, the news can be heart-wrenching, but imagine grappling with this challenge in the public eye. This episode takes you through the emotional labyrinth of fighting this disease as a public figure like Kate Middleton, the Princess of Wales. We discuss the invasion of privacy that can amplify the struggle and stress the need for compassion toward those whose health battles unfold on the world stage. Then, I open up about my own journey with cancer, sharing the waves of relief that wash over me with every positive test result and the solace found in the strong bonds forged with my medical team.
Cancer doesn't just test the body; it's an emotional mountain that we climb together. This episode is an intimate gathering, a space where we honor the courage and spirit of the extraordinary people we meet along the way. While we may feel alone at times, this conversation serves as a reminder that behind each story is a community ready to support and uplift. It's a tribute to resilience, to the power of human connection, and to the shared experiences that bind us. Please join us in this reflective journey, and may it remind you that while the path may be rugged, no one walks it alone.
Tami :
Welcome to Cancer, the emotional mountain, a podcast about what happens when you hear those words and how you get through it. This week might surprise you. Cancer and a fairy tale princess. Last weekend we learned that Kate Middleton, the princess of Wales, is fighting cancer, a young mother of three small children and the future Queen of England. Cancer does not discriminate.
Tami :
How we learned of this was dreadful. The press and nosy people that just wouldn't leave her alone while she recovered from an abdominal surgery. I've thought all along while the rumors and conspiracies flew around, it's none of our business. Three members of the medical staff where she was treated have been caught trying to get into her personal records. Seriously, if you're a cancer patient, I ask you how would you feel if all this was happening to you? While you tried to process the news itself, I'd be furious and distraught. I personally kept my news to myself, except for six people people. For over six months I had no desire to publicly announce my condition. Do you remember how hard it was to wrap your head around this diagnosis? The gripping, fear, confusion and disbelief? And what if you had small children? You want to protect them. You want to reassure them that you're going to be okay, when the truth is, you don't quite believe that yet yourself.
Tami :
Some say well, when you're in the public eye you don't get privacy. Oh please. That's a comment made by small jealous people. Just because your life has put you in the public does not give everyone the right to your personal business. We've become a society of gossip, ridicule and lies. Social media lets cowards hide behind a screen and just voice their opinions without being asked. I'm a firm believer that if I want you to know something about me, I'll tell you, and I don't want the exaggerated version being spread around. It's happened to me and it hurts. Instead of gossiping about things we don't know how, about we take a quiet moment to send her a genuine thoughtful prayer and wish that she recovers fully, lives a long life with her family? When you were diagnosed, didn't it take a loving hug and a gentle squeeze of your hand to help you get through another day? Let's gently squeeze Kate's hand from afar and do it privately. Give her and her family privacy. They are hurting, just like we did. So. Test results are in. So test results are in.
Tami :
The results of my PET scan came back and I met with my doctor last Friday. I won't go into details because I don't understand a lot of it either, and though I'm willing to share my emotions with you, I like keeping the medical stuff to my close friends. Yeah, I'm kind of like a fairy princess, but I'm confident to say it was a good report, better than many others have been, and I'm feeling very hopeful and positive. My treatments will continue for now and more tests will follow. I'm entering this phase feeling stronger, knowing that this drug is working and my body is reacting positively to it. Some of you might remember this is the seventh chemo drug I've been given and up until this new compound of elegance, it's always been that one didn't work. My doctor also confirmed that anticipatory nausea is real, especially for someone like me that's been in treatment for this long. We're planning for me to have a private room in the infusion center and I'm getting my calm, efficient nurse that always helps me relax.
Tami :
Such a small request, yet it was very important for me to continue treatment. Don't ever be afraid to ask your daughter or daughter, yeah, ask your daughter. No, don't be afraid to ask your doctor. I don't even have a daughter, I don't get it. Your doctor or nurse navigator for something that you believe will help you get over a hurdle. My doctor was more than happy to help when I came to him with a problem and a possible solution. He is a special man with more than an incredible understanding of what his patients are going through. I'm very blessed to have found him. As you might have learned last season, he's my second oncologist. I was not a good fit for the first one, so I kept looking.
Tami :
Something else you might consider if you're struggling. This is your life, your treatment. If the match between you and your doctor isn't good, chances are you're in more stress than necessary and you must make a change. Be brave, be honest and do what's right for you. Here we are again, at the caregiver's corner. Have a seat. So, caregivers, this is for you. Try and pay close attention to the feelings of your loved ones.
Tami :
Does meeting with the doctor cause anxiety, stress, frustration? This might be a sign that they're uncomfortable with that person. Might be a sign that they're uncomfortable with that person. Doctors are not gods and they have personalities too. Sometimes you just don't mix with another human and that's okay. Trust their instincts and have a chat about the situation. The patient might say oh, it's okay, it'll be fine, be fine. Those are warning signs. If someone is in charge of saving my life, they better be more than fine. I need extra confidence that I'm important enough to spend a few extra minutes with and have my questions answered without an irritation. You don't need to push it, just inquire and if you're getting a signal that they aren't confident and comfortable, do a little research on your own. Very few of us live in an area where there's only one game in town. Even a simple consultation with a new doctor might clear things up. Sometimes you get the clear message that the current doctor is the right one. You just need reassurance or, like me, run screaming from the first one and find Dr McDreamy.
Tami :
I want to dedicate this episode to two women I have met in the past two years at the cancer center where I work. I met them both in 2023. First was Brenda and her husband, who came every Tuesday. Brenda had been diagnosed with mesothelioma, something she had come in contact with in her childhood. Brenda and Tony became my friends through the weekly visits. Brenda was fun, energetic. She's a tiny woman from Louisiana and I was intrigued by her accent. Her husband, tony, was so dedicated to her. I was envious. Two gentle people who befriended me brought me their homemade wine and we shared cancer and life. As time passed, tony became more and more concerned about her cancer and Brenda was more positive. I tried to convince Tony that all was well. Tony that all was well.
Tami :
My second friend is Mary, a dynamic woman that I truly admired. She had been an oncology nurse and had moved on to raise money with her husband to support the cancer center. Together they gave thousands of dollars to cancer research. I met her because she loved dark roast coffee and just a bit of cream. As we became friends I learned that she was now a cancer patient. Mary was a great texter. At least two texts a day when we didn't see each other, always full of emojis so many fun emojis. Always full of emojis so many fun emojis. For months I engaged with these two women and we dreamed and talked about life after cancer.
Tami :
I was in treatment, they were in treatment, they had PET scans. I had PET scans, infusions, side effects, etc. I often went to the infusion center after work to sit with Mary to chat while she was being treated. Both were upbeat, positive and ready to beat this disease. We all had that connection. This was just a hiccup in the road of our lives.
Tami :
In October of 2023, mary lost her battle. Suddenly, the cancer spread and she was gone. I was devastated. My friend, my anchor, was gone. I texted her when I learned she was in hospice, telling her I wanted to come for just a few minutes to give her a hug. She texted back. I'd love to, but I can't. I sent her a reply letting her know how much she'd helped me over the past year with her strength and love and how important her friendship meant to me.
Tami :
And then this past month, cancer took Brenda, the funny little lady who'd made me believe it was just a hiccup in the road. I'm still going every Friday to treatment and I'm still going to complain every Tuesday to Brenda how I hate it, but she's not there. Her faithful, always-present husband isn't coming and bringing her to treatment. I don't have my friends to talk to about what's going on. God has called them home. I'm still here. I'm still fighting.
Tami :
Two of the strongest women I've met through my journey are gone. What is the message? How do I process these losses? I believed we would walk together in life as miracles, but their voices are silent. This past week, while I was working, I turned around and Brenda's husband was standing there. We hugged and cried. He shared some stories of her last days with him. He's struggling so much. We had a very nice chat and I hope it helped him a little, because it definitely helped me. After he left I found a note on a napkin he'd left for me. We love you. I've cried my soul for the loss of these amazing women. My battle continues, and so does yours. We must never, ever give up. Brenda and Mary never gave up and I believe I'll see them again. Never, never Stop fighting. We can walk and I believe I'll see them again. Never, never stop fighting. We can walk together and be a miracle.
Tami :
Thanks again for joining me on another episode of Cancer the Emotional Mountain. I'm Tammy, a cancer thriver. If you want to reach out to me, you can follow us on Facebook Cancer the Emotional Mountain. Do you have any requests, things you want to talk about? Send me an email cemotionalmountain at gmailcom. Share this Subscribe. Reach out to a friend who might need some little extra stuff on the side to get through. We all have times and that's okay. We're gonna keep going. Thanks so much. Take care. See're going to keep going. Thanks so much. Take care. See you in a couple weeks. Bye-bye.