Episode 38 - YASKING Book Club Part 4 of The Untethered Soul – The Open vs. Closed Heart

In Part 4 of our Book Club series on The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer, we explore one of the book’s most transformative and overlooked ideas: the open versus closed heart.

In this episode, Arturo and Anthony unpack how life constantly gives us moments to either open or close — and how your response to those moments might be the single biggest factor in your happiness, peace, and personal power.

We dive into:

• What it actually means to have an open or closed heart (in real-life terms)
• Why closing off doesn’t protect you—it just blocks your access to joy
• How past wounds and emotional armor keep us stuck in old patterns
• Simple practices to stay open, even when life gets hard
• Why openness is an act of radical strength, not weakness

Whether it's traffic, heartbreak, or just everyday overwhelm, this conversation is your reminder that you have a choice. Every moment is a chance to stay soft in a world that tells you to harden.

✨ Plus, you’ll walk away with 4 tools to help you keep your heart open:

1. Awareness
2. Letting Go
3. Breathing Through It
4. Radical Acceptance

So buckle up, buttercups! It’s time to YASK the big question:
What if your happiness depends not on what happens, but on how open your heart is willing to be?

Tune in to "YASKing with Anthony and Arturo" on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Don't forget to subscribe and follow Anthony on TikTok at @coachcatalino and Arturo on IG at @arturodiaz and TikTok @arturodiaznyc

Transcript

Arturo Diaz  00:37

Welcome to YASKING with Anthony and Arturo. I'm Arturo Diaz 

Anthony Catalino  00:42

and I'm Anthony Catalino. 

Arturo Diaz  00:44

Yeah, today we're cracking open one of the most powerful and underrated concepts in The Untethered Soul, the open versus closed heart. Let's be real, life's gonna throw things at you, a snide comment, a broken trust, an unexpected challenge, and in that moment, you've got a choice, do you shut down or stay open? It sounds simple, but it's everything, because what if your happiness, your peace, your power has less to do with what happens to you and everything to do with how open your heart stays through it all. Today we're diving into emotional armor, personal healing and how to stay soft in a world that tells you to harden up, so buckle up buttercups. It's time to start yasking the big questions, what if your happiness depends not on what happens, but on how open your heart is willing to be?

Anthony Catalino  01:43

Can I just say, for a moment, I love witnessing our growth before our very own eyes. We've had these Converse I just gotta say, we've had these conversations for quite some time now, and that just I almost got teary eyed with the way you were expressive talking about just this beautiful concept that is going to be so foreign to a lot of people, but I can, I love it, and so I'm grateful to be in this space. I think that's important to to reflect on. 

Arturo Diaz  02:09

I'm very thankful we have these conversations and we think about these things, and I make space for them, because I don't think that I ever thought this would be a thing in my life, but I'm grateful for you, and all the wisdom that you've shared with me and how we continue this on this path together. 

Anthony Catalino  02:25

And I think a lot of it has to do with allowing ourselves to be present in spaces that for so many years we closed our heart, we choked up, we we let the outside, our outside circumstances get the best of us, because that's what we've like learned to do for so long as kids, you know, belittling us and telling us to, you know, don't cry about it, and all these things with without, you know, I don't know. It's almost like we were misinformed from from parents that were misinformed. So no pointing fingers. You know there's, if anything, I've had compassion for my parents, I know and a lot of parents, because so many of us, so many of them, were misinformed. And so then when they had kids, they inflicted a lot of scarcity, a lot of fear, a lot of pain and suffering onto us, that caused our hearts to close time and time again. So we got used to it. 

Arturo Diaz  03:23

Yeah, well, the truth is that for most of us, the instinct is to close our hearts. When something hurts, we pull back, we protect ourselves, we shut down. But as Michael Allen Singer says in the book, closing off doesn't actually protect you from pain, it just blocks your access to joy, connection and creativity. But let's break it down even even more simply. What he means by that is that an open heart means you stay emotionally available to love, joy, connection, even when life feels uncomfortable. A closed heart means you shut down emotionally to protect yourself from paying rejection, vulnerability, and we all do it because I think it is very instinctual that we do it. Because when someone says something hurtful, or we feel overwhelmed by life, we tense up and we pull back, and that's that's the heart closing. And what I found so beautiful in the book is that he very clearly laid out that closing your heart doesn't actually keep you safe. It just keeps you stuck. It keeps you from the things you actually want, because we have this idea that being open hearted means you're naive or a pushover when it actually means you're being brave and choosing love over fear, and that in every moment you have the chance to decide whether or not you stay open.

Anthony Catalino  04:39

I think what's important to maybe start this conversation off in the beginning, at least dive into a little bit. The beginning is so many people are conditioned to live from their mind. And I don't know about you, but I used to get severely lost in the pressuring thoughts, the overwhelming thoughts, the fearful the it just brought me down time and time again. I know, Noah, you talked about this on multiple episodes. So, so the the idea is to get out of the mind and get into the heart. And what does that look like? You said, you said, when we first started talking about this, you notice someone cuts you off in traffic, or your partner says something hurtful to you.

Arturo Diaz  05:22

Yeah, it's like a slight movement I feel almost internally that I tighten up in reaction to that. I get angry, I get upset. I focus in on the negative part of it. Instead of staying open, I get into a defensive stance to protect myself. And what this book does a beautiful job of explaining is that when you do that, you actually cut yourself off to magical life, because you're no longer aware of the beauty of life.

Anthony Catalino  05:54

 Think about how often you do something that affects you. What's a good example, but how often do you say I'm sorry, and the more times you say I'm sorry and you close your heart that compounds like compound interest over time. Now you don't have to understand compound interest to know that. You know over time, little tiny pennies, what do they say, like a penny a day if it doubles? Would you rather take a million dollars or take a penny a day that doubles every day for 30 days, because you would have more than a million dollars. That doubles that pen starts with that penny. It's a small amount. So the more we protect ourselves and close ourself off, because we got used to it, we're literally just closing our heart and we're feeling that, you know, kind of where, like midlife crisis has come from. We've just learned to close our hearts so many times that we find ourselves in this like, dark space, challenging space. 

Arturo Diaz  06:47

Yeah, I think for me and my midlife crisis, which I definitely went through, was it became a realization of how much of operating on the same loop that the weight of my past wounds were like etched a groove to my journey. We all have emotional scar tissue, and those wounds can make us reactive. Maybe someone criticizes you today and suddenly it's your dad yelling at you when you were seven, and you're not even responding to the present moment anymore. You're reliving the past totally we build walls to protect ourselves, but the problem is those same walls also block out love, peace and new possibilities. So I think from my my experience, I found myself stuck in old emotional loops because I was afraid to get hurt again. I had to come to see that healing doesn't mean pretending it didn't happen, and that letting go, letting that energy move through without attaching to it, I don't have to carry every heartbreak forever. 

Anthony Catalino  07:58

Why do you think we carry it?

Arturo Diaz  07:59

 It's ingrained into our hardware. Our minds are so attached to the way to history, because our mind says that's what happened then. So you have to be vigilant to make sure it never happens again. And so one of the things I really stuck with was meditations on on new possibilities that the past does not dictate my future. We have to be open to no possibilities. Yes, it happened, but that's not the script that we have to keep following. And it can release those wounds. We can create space for something new. 

Anthony Catalino  08:31

I think that's an impactful, powerful statement. We don't have to keep living by the same or you said something along those lines, yeah, and most of us keep living by the same script, the same story that opened my eyes when I worked with a wonderful coach, Julian Rosen, for a few years. It's all. It all starts from a story that we, somewhere along the way in our path, in the past, started telling ourselves and even the darkest, the most scariest ones, we get too terrorized or too too afraid to let them go, and we keep on cradling them and babying them. And it doesn't do us a disservice, if anything, it continues to keep our heart closed. So, yes, our past wounds, we continue to relive them unconsciously. They come to the surface. Remember, we're all made of energy. We're energy beings. Literally. That's like, we don't have to make it complicated. You don't have to understand how electricity works to screw into light bulb or how an air like it baffles me how airplanes get off the ground, but I still have the luxury to fly from one, you know, side of the United States of America to the other in a matter of hours, instead of months. On horseback. Ride on horseback. You know, we get that benefit of flying. We don't have to understand how it works. 

Arturo Diaz  09:46

One of the things I would ask people to do is to start recognizing how often we shut down and ask, what would it look like to be open? Instead, I know we sometimes fear that we're talking to abstract of terms for people to understand those but I will say that when I read this book, I kind of intuitively understood working that by open and closed hearted, because I've been in the situation where someone's cut me off and I've been really reactive, and then that put me in a mindset where I was closed hearted and angry at the world, but I've also had the same experience where I had been open hearted, and I was like I saw for what it was, somebody was merged in front of me, and that's how cars move. And I was able to walk into my office with more light and joy and welcome in opportunities, great conversations, new friends. So I think we've all kind of experienced that, a version of that. Let's share some practices for keeping an open heart. The first is awareness. Just start noticing when you are closing and don't judge it. Just be honest with yourself. 

Anthony Catalino  11:04

You mean to tell me that when someone cuts you off in traffic and the flames are burning on the inside, you want to say, Motherf, that's the prime example of, yeah, closing your heart and reacted. And I don't want to say in a poor manner, because we've all done this, but this is, I think that's the best think that's the best example, yeah, for sure. Yes, absolutely so. But you literally close off. But believe it or not, that in that moment, all your energetic body is asking is to allow that energy to be released. And that's, that's what it's like, to stay open. The first step, like art said, is the awareness, yeah, and what's the next step, Art?

Arturo Diaz  11:44

 Its letting go instead of clinging to the pain. Practice relaxing around it. Singer says your triggers are your opportunities that sting your chest. That's where your freedom is hiding. 

Anthony Catalino  11:59

I know you don't even drive that often. But do you because you live in New York City

Arturo Diaz  12:03

Yeah.  

Anthony Catalino  12:04

But have you driven recently? 

Arturo Diaz  12:07

I did over Christmas,

Anthony Catalino  12:08

Over Christmas? Did anyone cut you off? 

Arturo Diaz  12:10

Yeah, of course. 

Anthony Catalino  12:11

And what was your reaction? Was there any reaction? 

Arturo Diaz  12:14

There was no reaction, but my version of that would be people who stand in the doorways of subway cars, rush hour. I'm like, sir, you are your physical matter. I can't walk through you and like, but I do have to let go and be like (breathes heavily) it's okay, which actually brings up the third point, breathing through it. This one's a simple, powerful when your heart wants to close, breathe into that tightness, inhale, soften, exhale, let your breath reopen the door.

Anthony Catalino  12:53

 Literally, the subway door. Yeah, and have you? Have you noticed, since you've been more aware and you practice letting go and breathing through it. Have you noticed a shift at all, or a drastic change in how you feel when you do see that wonderful human blocking your space? 

Arturo Diaz  13:10

Yeah, because what's funny is I become that person who now smiles with strangers. 

Anthony Catalino  13:14

Love it. Oh so good, 

Arturo Diaz  13:16

and it is nice. It's funny to see how when you smile at the city the study smiles back. It's automatic, and you feel this connection to the community around you, and people are then more likely to make a realize, Oh, I'm in the way of somebody or something I've learned from you. It's so crazy because you work in hospitality, Maybe also because you are generally very open hearted. If you go to a host at a very busy restaurant, you look the mind the eye, and you smile and you make a human connection. It becomes so invested in us getting a table. And I learned that from you, like a year ago, a year change ago. And if you I've generally been that way, but I've really stepped into that since then, and since then, I've been able to replicate that every time I go up to a restaurant. Post at a busy time. I have no expectation that I will get a table right away. They're busy, but I just make the effort to connect with them, see them, look them in the eye, be kind. And 99% of the time I get a table like a 10 minutes.

Anthony Catalino  14:35

Why do you think that is because you're tall and handsome? 

Arturo Diaz  14:37

No, not at all. 

Anthony Catalino  14:41

No, you're unforgettable. 

Arturo Diaz  14:43

We connected. 

Anthony Catalino  14:45

Yeah

Arturo Diaz  14:46

There was something. I'm genuine in my approach. I'm not expecting a table, because within the day, if they're busy, they're busy. But I'm not approaching them with like a closed heart, with a front of all the heaviness that I've carried throughout my day, right? It's, uh, it's a human connection, 

Anthony Catalino  15:08

Yeah. And the more connected you are to yourself, the more you can connect with other humans, whether you want to or not, like you. You can connect to more humans in a beautiful, profound way. You might not want to connect to humans because you're angry at the world, or you're dissatisfied with your experience so far on this planet, maybe, whatever, maybe that's pushing it, but that's why we talk about these we have these conversations around these topics, because Art and I have put a lot of time and effort into these topics, and it's radically changed the way we get to live our life. It's a massive sense of freedom that is just, I don't even know if people realize that they have the opportunity to experience this kind of, I don't know, cleaner air and more joy. Yeah, it also becomes a pleasure to connect with people on that kind of level, allow that person to be seen and heard. And so this last step, this so we've talked about awareness, letting go, breathing through it, and the fourth one

Arturo Diaz  16:15

And finally, radical acceptance. Can you embrace what's happening without needing to fix or resist it. That's next level peace. That's real power. 

Anthony Catalino  16:28

It is a process. This takes time. Just like anything else, if you're dedicated to something like the gym and you want to build muscle, you're going to start seeing muscle sooner than later, the more dedicated you are to something so. So what if you were to start seeing your life as your career? What if you were to start to see, you know, really take these topics that we discuss on this podcast. Take notes. Really think about it. Let's soak into your subconscious so you can get to that point where you're really bracing, embracing life without any resistance. 

Arturo Diaz  17:08

Because what if your happiness doesn't depend on how? Doesn't depend on getting the job or the relationship or the praise from somebody, but on your willingness to stay open, no matter what, 

Anthony Catalino  17:21

your willingness to keep your heart open. Remember, your heart is like a muscle. The more you practice this openness, openness, the stronger it becomes. And believe it or not, your heart knows you better than you know yourself. It has not let you down. It has not stopped beating for you since you came on this planet. Obviously, there's some room for error if you've had some challenges with your heart, but if you're, if you're listening to this podcast, you're still breathing, you're still here, and that thing pumps in and out 100 over 100,000 times in and out every single day. That just blows my freaking retina. 

Arturo Diaz  18:00

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So this week, try this. Every time you notice your heart closing, pause, breathe. Ask, what would it feel like to stay open. Just play with that. You don't have to get it perfect. You just have to practice. 

Anthony Catalino  18:19

And if you're shooting for perfection. You got something coming to you because you're going to be left disappointed. Remember what you seek, as Rumi says, is seeking you. So you got to start with seeking freedom, liberation, the weight off your shoulders, because I promise, the more you practice that those feelings, you can revisit those anytime that is the magic speak to your body as if it was someone that you loved. By the way, we're not doctors or medical professionals. We're just sharing our stories, things that we've read and that we're passionate about. Anything else for our listeners today. Art

Arturo Diaz  18:57

Thank you for listening, for growing with us, and for being on this journey back to yourself, it's been a joy, 

Anthony Catalino  19:04

As always, a pleasure, indeed, until we meet again, later. 

Arturo Diaz  19:10

YASKING,  until next time