The Brutal Truth About Why You’re Not Free Yet

You think you’ll finally be free when you have more control over your life, your body, your relationships, your future.

But what if the need for control is exactly what’s keeping you stuck?

In this episode of YASKING, Arturo and Anthony dive into four brutally honest quotes from The Untethered Soul that shatter the illusions we cling to. Together, they unpack how perfectionism, people-pleasing, and old beliefs aren’t protecting you — they’re trapping you.

Real freedom doesn’t come from managing life. It comes from surrendering to it.
It comes from feeling the hard emotions, letting go of the old stories, and choosing expansion over safety.

You’re not broken. You’re not behind.

You’re just one courageous breath away from everything you’ve been searching for.

Tune in to "YASKing with Anthony and Arturo" on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Don't forget to subscribe and follow Anthony on TikTok at @coachcatalino and Arturo on IG at @arturodiaz and TikTok @arturodiaznyc

Transcript

Arturo Diaz 

Welcome to YASKING with Anthony and Arturo. I'm Arturo Diaz. 

Anthony Catalino 

And I'm Anthony Catalino,

Arturo Diaz 

Today we're diving into some of the most powerful quotes from the Untethered Soul that cuts straight to the truth. If you want real freedom, you have to give up control. These four quotes will challenge your inner control freak, your perfectionist, your people pleaser, and invite you into something deeper flow surrender and emotional freedom. So buckle up buttercups. It's time to ask for the question, what if everything you're clinging to is what's keeping you small?

Anthony Catalino 

Yeah, this is another good one that I think a lot of us in this community need to hear. People pleaser, release control, let go of. You know, your physical body the way it looks all these things. Because the way I used to be, I got so obsessed. I was obsessed with the way my body looked. And you know what, most of the time, if not all the time, it never looked the way I did thought it should.

Arturo Diaz 

It's so hard for us to objectively look at ourselves and see what we what others see. We see ourselves through the lens of our our shit or baggage. Yeah, our baggage? Yeah, absolutely. So Quote number one, if you want to be free, you must first accept that you can never make the world be the way you want it to be.

Anthony Catalino 

What is your take on this?

Arturo Diaz 

So I think most of us live in some form of resistance, trying to bend life to fit our preferences. That certainly was been has been the case for me in my life. I just recently went through a breakup where I think I constantly was trying to make space for the other person and hoping they'd be able to meet me where I was at, and that just was not happening. I couldn't bend life to fit my preferences. He was on the journey that he was on, and I had to accept that, and it was hard for me to let go of my attachment, because I really liked him, I really loved him. And it wasn't until I let go of my desire for it to work out that I was able to find peace. How about you? Anthony, does this kind of is bring up anything?

Anthony Catalino 

I mean, I just acceptance, appreciation, kind of for me going hand in hand, the more I've accepted myself, just the way that I have been, love handles and all addictions, so many things that I had a hard time letting go of being graceful with myself, all these, all these tools, all these, all these things that were so in, in intertwined into my life. I wanted things to unfold a certain way. I wanted my relationship with my partner to go a certain way, or or I wanted the businesses that I created to evolve a certain way, and I realized there's only so much control I can have over any of those. And the best thing I could have ever done was to appreciate every aspect, every every moment, every every part of this the process. Because, like, I've talked to so many people where they're like, you know, I I finally made the million, or I conquered such and such, and now what? And so really, the life, it's just more peaceful and more enjoyable, and you feel more free when you can just let go of the process. Trust the process. Trust that things aren't going as planned for a reason for you,

Arturo Diaz 

yeah, control is the ego's way of chasing safety, but it never delivers true freedom, and there is an energetic cost of trying to manage everything versus surrendering. And I think that people don't understand that surrender isn't giving up, it's choosing peace over perfection and understanding that there's beauty in the way that things unfold.

Anthony Catalino 

We might say that things look ugly or they're heavy or they're hard, but that's just a label. That's just a word that describes, quite possibly, how you feel. But what if it's actually beautiful, the birth of something, the death of something? So many of us see death as a terrible thing, yet we're all going in the ground at some point, like none of us are gonna get out alive. And I think I've said that almost on half the podcasts, but it's true. Yeah. 

Arturo Diaz 

And I think this quote right now, hopefully is really relevant. I'm gonna say it again. If you want to be free, you must first accept that you can never make the world be the way you want it to be. I think a lot of people right now really feel this because they're so scared of the current political order. But as we've discussed on this podcast, this is all happening for a reason. It's all meant to teach us something, and ultimately, we will all circle back to love. It all comes back to love. 

Anthony Catalino 

I think it's reminding trying to it's trying to wake us up, to remind us to who we truthfully are. We're not all the damage, we're not all the conditioning, we're not all the labels. We are all divine mother fuckers. Let's go to let's let's move on to the next question, or the next the next quote rather...

Arturo Diaz 

only you can take inner freedom away from yourself or give it to yourself. Nobody else can

Anthony Catalino 

so easy to blame other people, so easy to you know, think that it's other people that are taking away my our inner freedom.

Arturo Diaz 

We often blame our circumstances on other people, or we believe in our limitations and say like, oh, this is all I can do. But you can reclaim your power by shifting your perspective. Do you have an example where you may be shifted from a victim mindset to an empowered stance?

Anthony Catalino 

A victim mindset to an empowered stance? I can't say that I have a specific experience other than I've had a lot of them, and I feel like they're mostly based around the times where life feels really heavy, like maybe I'm not paying attention to what my body's trying to tell me. Maybe I have, like, severe pain, or something like lower back pain is the worst, and I would blame it on previous choices. Maybe I drank a lot of booze during that time. I know for COVID, man, Johnny and I were just downing Boxed Wine that wasn't making us feel our best. And so it's just easy to, you know, you feel the effect from the choices that you make, and that weighs heavy on you. And in those really tough parts, actually, you know what I just thought of? One, there was a space where my I was helping my parents for a while. This is like during COVID, and because of that, I didn't have any other work other than me building my business. And there were some tough, tough months. Some months I would make a good amount of change. Some months I would make no money, still showed up, still did my best, and I finally surrendered to doing a job that I didn't really care for. And when I went to go take a test, I failed by like, a few points, or I didn't pass it. Basically, I remember getting in the car freaking out, like, literally, I literally had moments of, like, wanting to smash right into a tree. Now, I believe I did that all to myself. Those are moments of opportunities where I got to practice being present. Don't let the outside circumstances, the lack of finances. I know that's something we, a lot of us, struggle with, not having enough, but I feel like I needed to get to that point to make some better choices in my life. Yeah, absolutely. And that was a big turning point. From there, I've experienced more freedom because of what I had to go through.

Arturo Diaz 

That can relate to that. I can definitely relate to that. There have been times in my life where I've felt like everything that could go wrong went wrong, and I felt as if I was doomed, or the universe was out to get me, and I would only come out of it when I started to click into the idea that there were opportunities out there for me, and I started to show it for myself. I can pray because it is. You end up bringing into reality the the mindset that you live with. If you live from a place of scarcity and you feel like you're in a cage, you that's what you're how you're gonna live, that's what you're gonna manifest. You. But I know it can be hard to break out of that when you're in it.

Anthony Catalino 

One of our notes here said that you hold the key to your own expansion. Do you believe that, 

Arturo Diaz 

Yeah, absolutely. We are the only key to our expansion. We are it like we might fantasize that somebody else will come along and give you the secret sauce to expansion, fulfillment, joy, love, but you can only access that through yourself .

Anthony Catalino 

There are a lot of books you can read that will help facilitate in the understanding of these things. One of the, I think the turning points for me I read years ago was the Master Key System. Charles Hannah, I think his name was, H A A N e L or H A N, N, H A A N, E L. Charles Hannah, The Master Key System taught you a lot about your thoughts. Taught me a lot about my my body and how it works, how things come into form, the the laws of the universe. Those are all things that you can't you can't escape

Arturo Diaz 

Absolutely it's so funny. Even applying this to being queer at one point of our lives, I think we thought that being gay meant a death sentence but then you realize, oh, it's not. There's so much beauty in being who you are. And it wasn't until I accepted we accepted ourselves, that we found the freedom that was living inside of us.

Anthony Catalino 

It was literally there all along. Yeah, it was just masked with conditioning thoughts. All right,

Arturo Diaz 

let's move on to number three. You must learn to sit with a centered heart and let whatever happens make its way through you, not get stuck inside you.

Anthony Catalino 

Now, when I first hear that, I think like, oh, centered heart. What does that mean? What like? Even though I've been doing this work for a long time, I'm kind of It doesn't necessarily resonate with me like I want to believe that I understand what a centered heart means. Do you have any words you could share with our listeners about this? 

Arturo Diaz 

Having a center heart means that you're reacting to the world from a place of I a balanced perspective, recognizing that you are in the control seats and that you can handle anything that comes your way. So you're back to the idea you're open hearted. You and I'm full and fully capable of seeing things from what they really are. And I can really relate to this quote, because I'm someone who's upbringing often meant that I would avoid uncomfortable emotions, and that would create emotional blockages that would keep me stuck in old comfort zones, and that often meant that I was not allowing myself to fear, feel anger, fear, old, pain, and then, in a way of doing that, I was holding on to it because I wasn't letting it flow through me. I thought I was my version of healing. Was avoiding all that stuff. I thought, let's just move on. So this stuff happened. Keep moving, keep it pumping, queen! B e productive, go to school, do the thing. Busy, yeah, yeah, busy, yeah, busy. Making, making deals in high heels. I'm getting shit done. But, yeah, but when you like hope, you you by avoiding that stuff, you actually block it in your system. And you There are basic tools to help emotions move through them, like breath, workand I've come to understand that the feeling is not the problem, it's the clinging or the avoiding that is and that the path to emotional resilience is in allowing yourself to be a channel and not a container. Does that make sense? 

Anthony Catalino 

Yeah, you just beautifully channeled some wonderful things, rather than just be a container for our listeners to hear a bunch of stuff. Oh,

Arturo Diaz 

yeah. I mean, like, I had to think about this, because little Arturo had a lot of stressful, traumatic things happen to him, and I didn't always understand how To process emotions because of it, and that was one things that kept popping up in my life as I got older, and so I've really had to lean into understanding what emotional resilience is like cats. Emotions are a beautiful gift but we often do not develop a good relationship with them, and we avoid the ones that make us feel bad,

Anthony Catalino 

 But what happens when you avoid your emotions? 

Arturo Diaz 

They get stuck in you

Anthony Catalino 

And you end upu feeling it worse? 

Arturo Diaz 

Yep, it pickles. You you become a pickle. 

Anthony Catalino 

No, but isn't that baffling? We literally will be avoid the discomfort by keeping busy, by focusing our attention on other things, outside experiences, drinking too much alcohol, being the life of the party, whatever it may be, and that only is making it harder. But have no fear. We haven't been taught this like the fact that we should learn how to manage our emotions is like emotional regulation, emotional resilience, that is just so foreign to the majority of human beings, so you're not behind

Arturo Diaz 

Especially men,, we are not comfortable feeling emotional or being vulnerable or intimate. It's like, it's, it's scary territory for a lot of us. And for a long time, my dad, he was only comfortable with anger, which made me very uncomfortable with anger. I didn't like being angry myself, so I've had to, like, learn how to make space for little anger and

Anthony Catalino 

in the moments that life hands you that are like you feel in your body, yeah, literally, all you need to do is take a couple deep breaths. And I've been practicing this every single day. Now, ask my ask like, literally ask myself, What are you asking me to feel right in this moment? What do I need to feel out like? Like, the more we can sit in that space. Give it the space, the the compassionate, kind hearted, loving attention to the best of our ability. It might not feel good, but your body is asking you to just feel it. That's it. Don't avoid it. Feel it. Feel the vibration. Come on. Come on. You got to good man, no, but literally, sit in that space and the more you do that, the better you get at that. That will change the directory of your life, because you're not that. That's you literally being more centered, heart centered with your heart allowing the energy just to flow through you so it's not stuck inside you any longer. What did we say here? Comfort zones are often built around unprocessed emotions or experiences, just as art was talking about this quote and will encourage you to use your emotional flow and presence, allow the emotions to flow and be present with them, rather than avoid them, which is the path to expansion. Yeah, that's what you're here for. You're here to expand everything in the world expands.

Arturo Diaz 

Let's not cut off your growth.

Anthony Catalino 

Let's keep that let's let's allow the fruit within you, which to me, is like seeing yourself as a gift. Allow that fruit to come back year after year, that sweetness, that juicy like a peach, and the more you tend to the relationship with yourself, you're gonna, you're gonna have that beautiful harvest of sweet, juicy peaches the rest of your life. I'm talking about you being the sweet, juicy peach, the tree of life. Let's go. Let's, uh, let's go on to the last one.

Arturo Diaz 

Quote, four, you are either trying to make the world match your preconceived concepts, or you are letting go of the concepts and experiencing what is.

Anthony Catalino 

The first word that comes up for me is belief. In other words, your preconceived concepts, literally, a belief is most likely what's holding you back, your preconceived concept of who you should be, who you are, what the world thinks of you, how big your penis should be. I know that was a challenge for me for a long time.

Arturo Diaz 

What really comes up for me is like how the comfort zone is all built on fixed beliefs about ourselves and others and what life should be like. But those expectations and you're attaching to them create suffering. And those concepts are not reality. They're just stories, and we can write new ones. One of the my favorite things about getting older, because I'm about to turn 46 is that I'm not attached to the youth I had. I'm excited to become the person I am, which I I can appreciate is the unique position to be in. A lot of people are afraid of aging, but I've come to see how with every year, Things only get better for me, because I have a better understanding who I am and what I want, and the wisdom that comes with age gives me more peace.

Anthony Catalino 

YASKING that's something to be excited about. Yeah, the the wisdom that you will receive, that you'll continue to receive, is what's going to make your life that much more awesome. Feel, feel much better.

Arturo Diaz  2

Yeah. I mean, I do know that, like, the more generally, the more concepts you release, the more freedom you gain. I think also, like the fact that, like my ex of 12 years and I are still best friends to this day, he's like my brother, but when I told my parents that we were splitting up, they they viewed that as a failure, because in their eyes, they saw through the lens of their Catholic upbringing where you're supposed to only have one partner for your life, my perspective was very different. I let go of that concept really early on in my life, and I think that the way I've found life to work for me is that I have multiple soul mates who've enriched different parts of my life and different versions of myself. So I've let go of the preconceived concept of like one true love. 

Anthony Catalino 

I feel like with religion having been dominating so many people's lives for so long, I think that's a big one for a lot of people too, especially because our community has gotten so in the open. You know the open relationship aspect, which works for some of them doesn't work for others. And it makes me wonder if it doesn't work for some, it's because their belief, their self, concept of of what they how they should live, was so ingrained in who they are. But these are the kind of things we're talking about. You know, if you feel really hardcore about something, like you have a hard time letting it go. It's like, this way or the highway. There's no other options. I would love you to really sit in that space. I'm not saying if you believe in monogamy, that you should be in an open relationship. I'm not but you weren't born with that belief. We're not born with the self concept that we're not worthy or deserving because we're queer, we're gay, we're part of the LGBTQIA community. That was a concept that was written that we like grew up with from other people's beliefs that we at one point held on to because we didn't know better. We were told that's how it is, and what did it do? But for most of us, it caused us to live in more fear, which is the opposite, as I always say, of love.You're either trying to make the world match your preconceived concepts, or you are letting go of the concepts and experiencing what is, I think, that one of my most freeing things in life is just allowing it to unfold this at will. With me being the captain of my ship, me knowing that the more I treat myself with kindness and generosity and compassion and understanding and grace. I'm gonna I'm gonna have a different experience on this planet than if I were to continue living in shame, sorrow, fear and lack. 

Arturo Diaz 

Yeah, let go of your attachment to what society says is the way to live and instead feel through what feels right for you, but the key is to feel and to trust yourself. We're not here on this planet to follow the path set forth by other People, we're here to pioneer our ways for ourselves. ,

Anthony Catalino 

Ass always, we're not doctors or medical professionals. We're here sharing our story, the in the insights that we have gained. It would be a shame if art and I did not share the wisdom that we've gained, the the stories that we've learned that we, you know, played in our minds and our hearts for so long and only to learn that it was trapped energy. It was like unloving, unkind energy, because we didn't know any better when we were just little boys, little kids. Yeah,

Arturo Diaz 

so I'm gonna ask the readers choose one thing you've been trying to control. Let it go, not because you're giving up, but because you're choosing peace and journal on this, where have I mistaken control for safety? And what would it like look like to choose freedom instead? 

Anthony Catalino 

Because ultimately, freedom is a choice. You don't have to choose it. We're not here saying you must do this. You must live like this. Now that's that's missing the whole point, yeah,

Arturo Diaz 

because the more you try to control the world, the less freedom you feel. But the moment you surrender that control, stop clinging to old concepts and let your emotions move through you. You reclaim your power. And Anthony, you're one of the most powerful people I know. 

Anthony Catalino 

YASKING and that's, that's a great realization. And thank you for the kindness you know. So many people want to change the world, but they're afraid of changing themselves, yeah. And in literally, you change the world by making the changes, the baby steps, taking the taking the steps towards more freedom. You actually influence the world around you at large. The more you show up for yourself, the better you take care of yourself, the more you believe in yourself. You're open to the way life is unfolding for you. You're kinder to yourself that speaks volumes energetically out into the universe. So, so if you want to be a change, a shift of change in the world, to see it a brighter place, it begins with you,

Arturo Diaz 

yeah, because the truth is, you're already free. And it's about learning to meet life as it is with an open heart and a steady breath.

Anthony Catalino 

YASKING. Watching this journey unfold has been so beautiful, and I'm so grateful to be here with you. Do you have anything else for our listeners today?

Arturo Diaz 

Until next time, just keep asking the big questions, and remember, you're already free, so just let go. 

Anthony Catalino 

I'm sorry, did you say asking or YASKING? 

Arturo Diaz 

YASKING the big questions!

Anthony Catalino 

Until  we meet again 

Arturo Diaz 

Later!