Repurpose Your Broken Identity: Finding Purpose and Healing with Life Coach Billy G (Part 02)

Summary

In this episode, Cecily interviews life coach Billy G about repurposing broken identities. Billy shares his personal story of pursuing the American dream and experiencing catastrophic loss, which shattered his foundations. Through faith and spiritual growth, he found a new identity built on God's truth. Billy emphasizes the importance of picking up one's head and allowing God to use pain to bring clarity and growth. He also discusses the concept of non-attachment and the lessons he learned from his own journey. In this conversation, Billy and Cecily discuss the process of detaching from pain and finding non-attachment. They explore the struggle of detaching oneself from life and the blessings that come with it. They emphasize the importance of reattaching one's identity to God and finding purpose in pain. They also discuss the journey of discovering one's unique purpose and stepping out in the aspects of identity that inspire us. The conversation concludes with a prayer for healing and a reminder to share the wisdom gained from the discussion.

Takeaways

Pain and brokenness can lead to a new and stronger identity when we allow God to rebuild us.
Our identities should be built on God's truth, not societal norms or worldly expectations.
By picking up our heads and trusting God, we can find clarity and purpose in our pain.
Living in non-attachment allows us to let go and trust in God's plan, even when things don't go as expected. Detaching oneself from pain can be a challenging process, but it allows for growth and healing.
Non-attachment to external things and finding trust in God's plan can lead to peace and fulfillment.
Identity theft occurs when we attach our identity to things that cannot support us, such as relationships or success.
Pain can be a catalyst for discovering our true purpose and identity.
Each person has a unique purpose and should follow what inspires them.

Chapters

• 0:00 Identity Theft
• 29:08 The Illusion of Attachment
• 30:17 Reattaching to the Right Place
• 32:11 Finding Purpose in Pain
• 33:00 The Journey of Discovering Identity
• 33:56 Unique Aspects of Purpose
• 36:10 Allowing Pain to Break and Remake Us
• 37:30 Repurposing Pain into Faith
• 39:05 Embracing God's Identity for Us
• 40:29 The Journey of Discovering Identity
• 41:47 Stepping Out in Unique Aspects of Identity
• 43:13 Moving in What Inspires Us
• 46:32 Tracing Seeds of Purpose
• 47:56 Prayer and Closing

Transcript

Billy (28:40.902)

So it's not to say, oh, you have to go out and experience life and do what everyone else is doing, but you're meant to play a role. So when you detach yourself, I'm taking my ball and going home, yes, you put aside the pain, but you miss out on what the goodness and the love and the joy and the peace is all there for every single one of us. So that leads us to non-attachment. And I've been blessed to a point where I can live in non-attachment now and it's a training aspect, but.

It's, I wholeheartedly believe it's what God and Jesus were telling us about of to have trust and have faith that everything is working out. All things do work together for the good of those who love the Lord. And when you can live in a state of non-attachment, what you're saying is I'm living in a state of peace, a state of love, and a state of trust. So non-attachment means if it comes, I let it. If it goes, I let it. I am not attached.

Cecily (29:27.649)

Yeah.

Billy (29:34.53)

to all these things that I say, I need to have my life to be happy. If I have all, if I have the relationship, I have the family, I have the job, I have everything, then I can be happy. But then you get all those things and you're still not happy. And if one leaves, the world ends, right?

Cecily (29:43.745)

Right.

Cecily (29:48.907)

Right, right. Like, yeah, basically putting our building our identity on the things we were never supposed to build our identity on. Because those things are not supposed to support us. They can't support us. God created an identity for us before we were ever even born. And that is because He's our Creator. He's the only one who has the right to say,

Billy (29:57.142)

Mm-hmm.

Cecily (30:17.035)

This is what I created you to do. This is where you're going to find peace and satisfaction. And I love how you're talking about the fact that so clearly the, with actual terms of how we can pull our identity back out of those places where we've attached it incorrectly and through non-attachment to those things.

Billy (30:39.98)

Mm.

Cecily (30:44.035)

those externals, be they people or success or roles or whatever, and we reattach to the correct place. We put our identity in God and in who He says we are because of what Jesus has done for us. And because our identity is now reattached to the right place, then we can love people and we can love them in the right way without

having to need them for our identity and our sense of worth and value. We can appreciate blessings, but we don't need them to be validated. And I love how you're saying that, Billy, because that is such an important point of identity. It's not just the whole point of repurposing our identity into the identity that God created for us.

Billy (31:14.766)

Right? Exactly.

Billy (31:32.567)

Hmm.

Cecily (31:42.983)

but it's also the benefit. Because when our identity is attached to those things, something's gonna give, something's gonna blow up. It's just a matter of time. And that whole isolation piece you were talking about, I was just speaking with a young man the other day, and that's exactly what he's doing. He's been hurt, he has had his heart broken a couple times. He has also in his brokenness, probably broken somebody's heart.

Billy (31:45.955)

Mmm.

Billy (32:02.294)

Right.

Billy (32:11.775)

Mm-hmm. For sure.

Cecily (32:13.015)

And he has had situations where he thought that his life was gonna go a certain direction and that didn't work out. He put a lot of effort into a career decision, like years of trying to achieve this. He achieved it and then absolutely nothing is transpiring in his field. And so he's looking at his life thinking, I thought this relationship was gonna be forever and I don't have it anymore.

Billy (32:21.262)

Mm.

Billy (32:26.423)

Mm.

Billy (32:33.407)

Mm.

Cecily (32:40.819)

I thought this career was gonna be my answer and I don't really have it anymore. So he's gone into isolation to protect his heart. And that isolation is, how did you call it? The detachment. Yeah, and I can totally say, oh, my heart just breaks for him that he's in that place.

Billy (32:48.41)

Hmm.

Billy (32:54.952)

Detachment. Yeah. Right.

Billy (33:00.118)

Yep. For sure. Yeah. No, I'm glad you brought that example up because it truly is, every single person listening, every single person viewing this, every single person in the world goes through that at some point. And it's just a matter of, you have to experience it because there's so many great lessons. I said it on recent podcasts, pain is such a phenomenal thing when you have the right perspective on your pain. And...

Cecily (33:14.593)

Mm-hmm.

Cecily (33:19.989)

Yeah.

Cecily (33:26.809)

Right.

Billy (33:27.846)

I had to like add to that on the podcast. Like people aren't gonna like this, but pain is a great thing when you have the right perspective on it because it shifts you, it gives you clarity, it puts you, I can even bring up another example, which is much more related if people right now are churchgoers, much more related to a faith setting where I had to really understand where my attachments were in a church setting, in a faith setting, because an old church I used to go to I was actually baptized there after coming to God and everything like this, maybe.

Cecily (33:51.064)

Mmm.

Billy (33:56.622)

at this point seven, eight years ago, maybe whatever it was. And I became very attached to the church, but more so the people there, the community there, the love that was there. I was, and as all of us are told, the church is built on a sense of love. And it's phenomenal, I completely agree with it. However, when I was going there, I was just, me show up on, I would go on Saturdays, but show up on a Saturday or Sunday, and...

Cecily (34:10.967)

Hey

Yeah.

Billy (34:26.854)

You hear the message, you learn from it, you grow from it, and then see you guys next week. That's how I would go about my church, and learn, because I was there to learn, I was there to grow. Yes, friends, family, everyone there is phenomenal, but I want, I was ready to learn. And all of a sudden, I started to notice that in this setting, people started to talk bad about me behind my back.

in the faith setting, and yep, I knew this would, I want people to know this because it truly showed God working in my life. Because people started to talk very bad about me, and I was like, what, I show up on a Saturday, I have a blast, I talk with people, I leave, I learn, I try and do my best throughout the week with what God's directing me, how is that bad? And then actually, believe it or not, going into the baptism class, it was, I'm sitting there, I'm about to give my life to Jesus. To me, this is a phenomenal moment.

The leaders of the class gave me the most dirtiest looks while I was learning about baptism. I'm like, I didn't, I was like, you know what? Just, you're here, you're not here for them, you're here for God, do this. This is on your heart. This is a, it's like, and I looked at it as like a mission, like a checklist. Like, hey, this is the next step. You have to further the next step. So I pursued that. And then the more that tension was there of just showing up to church.

Cecily (35:24.856)

Wow.

Cecily (35:38.219)

Yeah.

Billy (35:45.874)

I started to realize, I got baptized. Truthfully, I never went back to that church after because I got baptized for God, for Jesus, and then God was like, hey, the door's open. I need to bring you somewhere else. So why I bring this example up with this isolation, detachment concept is because when pain comes to us, I was so attached to the people of the church, to the love that I thought we were supposed to be standing on, to what the messages were.

Cecily (36:03.134)

Mm-hmm.

Cecily (36:07.787)

Yes.

Yeah.

Billy (36:12.654)

However, God was building me up in such a way that he was trying to pull me to another part of my destiny, another part of where I specifically, my spirit is meant to go to help whoever it is, to grow in whatever sense. But I was so attached to the church I was at, so I wasn't leaving. So God essentially, I believe, had essentially turned these people, and he was like, if you're not gonna walk with me as I pull you, I'm going to push you.

Cecily (36:21.913)

Yes.

Cecily (36:26.508)

Yeah.

Billy (36:41.618)

and pain comes to us to push us to our destiny when we aren't moving. But if we move in step with our destiny, with our calling, God will pull us directly there and we are moving in step with the Holy Spirit. We're moving in step with God. We're growing to where we're meant to be and to who we're meant to be. But he will use everything at the disposal to get you to that goal. So when we're talking about isolation, we're talking about the pain we go through, know that there is a incredible lesson and purpose behind it. Again,

Cecily (36:45.824)

Yes.

Cecily (36:56.799)

Yes. Yeah.

Cecily (37:02.039)

Mm-hmm.

Billy (37:10.514)

if you have your head up. You can hear it, you can move it, yep.

Cecily (37:12.335)

Absolutely, absolutely. That is so good. So I want to just ask you guys as listeners have traumas losses or brokenness Made you wonder if you are in a class of people that God just can't bless Because I know that I felt that way at times when I threw my broken identity I would watch other people

Billy (37:30.359)

Mmm.

Cecily (37:40.419)

have a success that I wanted and it didn't come to me. And so that seemed to invalidate me as if, see, you're, Cecily, you're really not good enough. They're good enough to get that blessing or that promotion or succeed in that area, you're not. Or if I saw other people experiencing a joy or a peace that I wanted, I felt like the black sheep. Like, well, what's wrong with me? Why can't I?

Billy (38:04.13)

Hmm.

Cecily (38:08.071)

be loving like that or thoughtful like that. I'm there must be something wrong with me and God must have like sequestered me to a class of people that is sort of like the B team. And do you find yourself comparing yourself to other people? Calculating that the difference between their success and where you see yourself as the proof that you aren't good enough.

Billy (38:20.206)

Hmm.

Cecily (38:36.831)

or that you aren't loved, or that God doesn't really have a divine purpose for you, or an identity for you. Because if that's something that you're falling into, I want you to think about the things that Billy's been talking about, the things that we've been sharing on this podcast. I want you to take it to heart and say, am I functioning like Billy described he had been functioning before?

He allowed God to give him his new identity and start to show him what he was really created for? Or am I functioning from that place of knowing that I am accepted in the beloved, that I am a child of God, that I have been reborn, that God has an identity and a purpose for me? Am I starting to come alive?

Billy (39:12.386)

Thanks for watching!

Cecily (39:30.571)

Are the blinders being peeled off my eyes so that I can begin to see how all the things that I've always loved to do are a part of what God's called me to do? Which, where do you find yourself? Which fork in the road have you gone down? Because Billy and I want you to know that you can repurpose your broken identity into the identity that God has for you. But just like he described in his experience,

Billy (39:57.006)

Hmm.

Cecily (39:59.971)

there came that valley moment, there was that crucible, so to speak, when everything fell apart. And maybe you're in that place right now. I was in that place when I was 18 years old, and everything in my life was a disaster. I couldn't even, I could barely look myself in the mirror anymore, because I was so ashamed of the person that was there. I was a disappointment to myself.

And I found the Lord in that place of brokenness. And that was the beginning. I don't really think that there's an end point until we see the Lord one day. I think we're gonna always be on a journey of discovering more and more who God has really created us to be. And also maturing in our ability to really step out in that. Because like Billy said earlier, though that whole piece of

Becoming more confident that you're actually hearing God and then becoming more bold to step out on what you hear That's all the process. That's growth. It's it's a journey. There's there's no arrival point That you know that we get to and say oh, well, I've completely matured. I have no more changes to make I'm I know exactly who I am and that's all so anyway, if

Billy (41:03.243)

Mm.

Billy (41:14.367)

Hmm.

Billy (41:24.813)

Hmm.

Cecily (41:27.683)

Those are the way, if that's the way you felt, you're not alone and there is a recourse for identity theft. If you've struggled with those thoughts and I really believe that if that is you, you are hearing this podcast for a specific reason because this is your season. This is your season, this is your timing. What do you think about that, Billy?

Billy (41:47.31)

Hmm. I wanna add a point to that because like you said, when you start to hear God's voice and you boldly move on it, I'm hearing that like now. And he gives me signs with me specifically when my heart starts pounding. It's like, hey, you're supposed to say this. So I wanna add to everything Cecily just did for listeners and viewers right now. In the terms of repurpose your pain, realize your pain is meant to guide you to your purpose.

So, and when you're seeing there in a state of identity crisis or broken identity, you're trying to figure out how to put the pieces of your life back together. Know that when you're at that blank slate, that's when God comes in and helps you realize what's meant to be on the slate for sure. But you specifically, your spirit, your soul walk in this life trying to connect to God for sure, but really pursuing the purpose that has been placed on your heart to bring to this world.

Cecily (42:31.435)

Yes.

Billy (42:44.402)

I always tell everyone, when you don't know what your purpose is, find what inspires you. Because inspiration, inspire, the root term of that is in spirit. What inspires you might be very different than what inspires the person next to you. My inspirations might be different than Cecily's inspirations. Because we're two different souls following this journey we're on together as we individually walk it towards God. So if you're someone right now trying to repurpose your pain and find the purpose in your pain,

Cecily (43:00.021)

Yeah.

Billy (43:13.038)

Pick your head up as we said, take the blinders off for sure, but start to move in what lights your heart up, what lights your soul up, inspires you in spirit, meaning your spirit's coming alive. Those are the areas to then walk in that God's trying to direct you to because you then grow your light, which is the light he placed in you, which then can shine to others, could be a stranger, a homeless man, family member like me, friends, whoever it is. But

Cecily (43:18.723)

There you go.

Cecily (43:24.169)

Yes.

Billy (43:38.418)

you're following your purpose and then the picture gets a little bit clearer and a little bit clearer and God's guiding you. So I just wanted to add that, Sessley, because that was on my heart right there.

Cecily (43:42.979)

S.

Cecily (43:46.271)

Yeah. Mm. That is so, so perfect. I absolutely love that. It's so true that there are unique aspects of our God-ordained purpose that He wants to unveil to us. And when we start walking in, I mean, I use the expression all the time and I know I didn't invent it, but you know, what makes your baby jump?

What makes you just want to get out of bed in the morning? What are the things that feed you or nourish you? When I taught on identity in a certain place where I was speaking, I used this example. I said, in a church setting, let's just say, there is a toddler's class, the twos and threes, and they allow these preteen girls to come in and be sort of like teachers, helpers, and that's at least one of the things they do at our church. And so you've got

two 13 year old girls that go into the twos and threes class and they absolutely love serving in the twos and threes class. But one of them, her motivation for going into the twos and threes class is because she loves to watch children learning because she was able to explain something in a way that they got it. She was excited. She gets excited to watch them watch the light bulb come on, so to speak.

when she shares something or teaches something or shows them how to do something, maybe coloring or something, and they get it. She loves that. The other girl that comes into the class, she's a comforter and she loves to hold the little ones when their parents go or maybe they got hurt with a toy. She loves to wrap her arms around them and be the comforter. So you've got these two 13-year-old girls, they are doing the exact same thing. They're both going into the twos and threes class.

to volunteer their time, but they're going there for two totally different motivations. And that is part of their purpose. One of them might grow up to be a teacher. The other one might grow up to be a mom of a bunch of kids and she just loves nurturing, or she might grow up to be a nurse. I mean, you begin to see the seeds of purpose throughout your life. I'm sure Billy can attest to the fact that the thing he's doing now, he could see the seeds of that.

Billy (45:38.019)

Hmm.

Cecily (46:02.467)

from childhood. I know for me, I was able to trace some of the things that I'm called to do now, all the way back to my kindergarten days. Things I got in trouble for as a first grader, being a talker and making up great stories, being imaginative, being a leader. All of these things that I used to actually get called to the principal's office as a first grader are now things that God is using in me, sanctified as a grownup.

Billy (46:03.724)

Mm-hmm.

Billy (46:10.038)

Right.

Billy (46:32.159)

Right.

Cecily (46:32.359)

So it's really cool to step out in those unique aspects of our identity. There is an overarching identity that God calls us to as children of God. But then we're not a cookie cutter. We're not, you know, he doesn't use a cookie cutter on us. We each have a unique purpose. So I'm so glad that you brought that up, Billy. That is awesome. Well, listen, I'm going to close this out with some prayer and

Billy (46:46.79)

Hmm.

Billy (46:52.59)

Mm.

Perfect.

Billy (46:59.806)

Cool.

Cecily (47:01.159)

you know, because Billy, we could just keep talking. And I just want to, I just want to thank you so much for this great discussion, for, for your amazing insights, for sharing your story with us. And I know that the listeners have been incredibly blessed and impacted. And to which I would say, make sure to leave your comments below. So, so Billy and I can just see that you, what your takeaways were.

Billy (47:03.874)

Hahaha!

Cecily (47:29.659)

But I'm just going to close us with prayer and then wrap up this podcast. So I just want to thank you Lord so much for the work that you've done in Billy and me and the work that you're doing in the people that are listening to this podcast right now. I thank you Lord that you have given us the tools to be able to take the pain that this world brings and to repurpose it into firm faith.

Billy (47:35.016)

Awesome.

Cecily (47:56.679)

into our identity in you. That you allow, like Billy said, you allow things to come in and break us for the purpose of you remaking us into the person you desired for us to be from the very beginning. Those things that we put our identity into were not the right things. And if the pain hadn't come, we would have stayed that way. We would have continued to put our identity

like all of our eggs in the wrong basket. So we thank you, Lord, that you allowed all those eggs to get smashed and the basket too, so that we would repurpose the pain of a broken identity into finding you and asking you, Lord, who am I really? And hearing what you had to say through your word and through your spirit speaking to our hearts. So right now I just pray for every listener that is in that place of pain right now.

And I ask God that your healing balm would be poured out upon their lives, that they would hear you speak, that they would allow you to pull the blinders off their eyes if their head is down, that you would allow them to be the lifter of their head, to raise their eyes up to see not a God who is judging them, who's angry at them, who's disappointed in them, but to see a God who loves them. A loving gaze, a tender gaze.

a good shepherd who says, come here, it's going to be okay. I've got you and I've got your future too. So Lord, we thank you for all of this in Jesus' name. Amen, amen. All right guys, well, we are about to sign off, which means I got to do the do and remind you, if you got something out of today's podcast, I would love it if you would be a disseminator of that joy.

Be a distributor of the knowledge that you have taken. So you can either share it on your social media or share it around the dinner table with your family. Share it in your workplace, in your community. But don't just be like the Dead Sea and take in knowledge and insight and wisdom. You don't really own it till you give it away. So make sure you give that wisdom away to somebody quickly before you lose it. And also I want to encourage you

Billy (50:21.998)

I'm going to go ahead and close the video.

Cecily (50:24.599)

to join Billy and I for a live Q&A that we're gonna have in a few days. So you gotta make sure to be following my Instagram and my Facebook so you can know when Billy and I schedule that because you might have questions for him. There might be things that you wanna ask him about how he repurposed the pain of his broken identity or maybe you have a story that you wanna share and we'd love to hear that too. So make sure to join that live Q&A. And finally, if you haven't subscribed,

to the podcast already, I would ask that you would do that. And that you also follow Billy, because I think you probably are already super interested in following all the places where he is speaking and sharing information, YouTube and all that. So all of his social media stuff is gonna be in the description. Make sure to like, follow, subscribe to all his stuff because it's excellent. And lastly, you can subscribe to my newsletter on my website.

which is high And until then, I just pray that you are gonna walk in all the favor of God. And I will look forward to seeing you in the next podcast. Bye bye.

Billy (51:38.946)

See you guys.