From Heartbreak to Healing | Repurposing Rejection | Hope Shanley | Part 02

Summary

In this episode, Cecily interviews Hope Shanley, a country artist and worship leader, about her music career and how she has repurposed rejection. Hope shares her top hits and current projects, as well as her experiences as a performer and worship leader. She also opens up about a season of rejection in her life and how it led her to draw closer to God. Hope emphasizes the importance of trusting in God's plan and finding healing and restoration in Him. This conversation explores the pain of rejection and the process of repurposing that pain. The speakers discuss their personal experiences with rejection and the challenges they faced in seeking resolution. They also delve into the importance of forgiveness and coping mechanisms for dealing with rejection. The role of faith and the deepening of one's relationship with God in overcoming rejection is highlighted. The conversation emphasizes the significance of community in providing support and accountability. The lack of value for community in society is addressed, along with the power of community in overcoming addiction and grief. The speakers discuss the process of repurposing the fear of rejection and trusting in God's plan. The unshakable awareness of Jesus' love and the importance of Christian community are emphasized as key factors in navigating rejection.

Takeaways

• Hope Shanley is a country artist and worship leader, known for her songs 'Blood Runs Deeper' and 'All Yours'.
• Performing in secular arenas and leading worship present different challenges, but both require vulnerability and a reliance on God.
• Rejection can bring out the worst in us and make us question our worth, but it can also lead us to a deeper dependence on God.
• Trusting in God's plan and surrendering our own desires can lead to healing and restoration. Rejection can be incredibly painful, especially when it comes from someone close to you.
• Seeking resolution and forgiveness is important in overcoming the pain of rejection.
• Coping mechanisms, such as focusing on the good and relying on one's faith, can help navigate the pain of rejection.
• Christian community plays a vital role in providing support, accountability, and a sense of belonging.
• Repurposing the fear of rejection involves anchoring one's worth and value in Jesus' love and trusting in God's plan.

Keywords: 

• Healing
• Rejection
• Faith
• Forgiveness
• Restoration
• Community
• Worship
• Trust
• Identity
• Hope

Chapters

• 30:26 The Importance of Community
• 35:02 Society's Lack of Value for Community
• 38:19 The Power of Community in Overcoming Addiction and Grief
• 42:23 Repurposing the Fear of Rejection
• 43:04 Trusting in God's Plan
• 46:05 The Unshakable Awareness of Jesus' Love
• 47:34 The Importance of Christian Community
• 50:23 Conclusion and Call to Action

About

Chapters

• 26:22 Coping with Rejection
• 28:42 The Role of Faith
• 30:26 The Importance of Community
• 35:02 Society's Lack of Value for Community
• 38:19 The Power of Community in Overcoming Addiction and Grief
• 42:23 Repurposing the Fear of Rejection
• 43:04 Trusting in God's Plan
• 46:05 The Unshakable Awareness of Jesus' Love
• 47:34 The Importance of Christian Community
• 50:23 Conclusion and Call to Action

Transcript

Hope Shanley (26:22.798)

Um, I, that's a, that's a good question. I think that I haven't really thought about how it could maybe turn me into a different person because I just see it as like it comes in waves and it goes back out and comes back in and it goes back out. Um, which isn't ideal, but I do know that that's not who I am and it doesn't consume me as much as it may feel like it does at times.

Cecily (26:36.193)

Mm.

Hope Shanley (26:51.898)

I'll always come back to myself and what's present in my life and what the joy I have in my life right now. It's just, I think it's like those late night car rides on the way home and I'm like, oh god, the song comes on. It all comes back or I can't sleep or something. But I wake up in the morning and I forget all about it. Or I get home and I...

Cecily (26:59.304)

Mm-hmm.

Cecily (27:14.698)

I'm here.

Hope Shanley (27:17.75)

people are at my house, I'm like, hey, we started a conversation and you know, that's out of my head. So it's

Cecily (27:22.313)

Yeah. So it sounds like you're causing yourself to focus on what you do have instead of what you lost.

Hope Shanley (27:29.214)

Yeah, I would say so. Yeah, yeah. And it happens subconsciously too. I won't even realize, you know, because again, it'll just sneak in and then like, as soon as I, you know, land, I stop the car and I get somewhere or whatever, like, you know, it's gone.

Cecily (27:32.417)

Mm-hmm.

Cecily (27:44.545)

So that doesn't happen with all people though. So just so you know, there are a lot of people who absolutely get stuck in those feelings and they can't get out of it. So you're doing some things and I think I wanna help us get there because you're doing things without even realizing it. That's helping you repurpose the pain. So the first thing that I heard you say is that you are focusing on the good.

so that you don't stay stuck in that pain, but you can move on to the very next thing that the Lord's bringing you to. And then now share with us how the Lord, your relationship with the Lord is playing into that, because I heard you say two things. First of all, that your relationship with Jesus has deepened, that you felt like you were sort of fringe out there, but this forced you back into his arms.

Hope Shanley (28:34.593)

Yeah.

Cecily (28:42.005)

And then second of all, I heard you say that you actually trust that even though this hurts, you didn't ask for this, you wish this wasn't your current valley, that you trust that he's working this for your good. That's huge right there. So talk to us about how you have that kind of faith.

Hope Shanley (28:59.341)

No.

Hope Shanley (29:04.646)

Um, I mean, it's definitely been a lifelong of building that kind of faith. Um, well, I say that as if there was like a time where I didn't have that same trust. I think that I've always had that trust in the Lord. Um, you know, obviously growing up in such an amazing, loving church, like in the testimonies I've seen and just being close with other believers, like, and just constantly hearing about how God works in their lives.

Cecily (29:09.901)

Mm.

Cecily (29:19.571)

Mm.

Hope Shanley (29:32.846)

and then also relaying it into my life, it's just never really been a question. That's what I've always been taught is like, when you're going through the valley, God can still move mountains and just that there is always, like I've always said, God doesn't allow pain without purpose. Again, repurpose your pain. That's just so beautiful.

Cecily (29:40.812)

Mm-hmm.

Cecily (29:52.619)

EEEE

Hope Shanley (29:59.41)

So I think that's just always been super instilled in me that, because it just would make no sense if, you know, God wouldn't just put you through the wringer for no reason, he's a loving God and he has great plans for you. So, and nothing bad comes from God. It's just, you know, we live in a bad world and you know, God's there to show us the good and bring us out of that. And it's very just.

Cecily (30:06.477)

Mm-hmm.

Cecily (30:13.761)

Yes.

Cecily (30:19.702)

Yes.

Cecily (30:23.597)

Mm-hmm.

Hope Shanley (30:26.782)

It's very apparent, because I know myself, it's very apparent when I'm doing something by my own will. I know where that gets me. And then I know when God comes in to swoop me off my feet and actually be like, okay, well follow me this time, and he takes care of the rest. So yeah, it's just, you know, when like, yeah, I don't know. I don't think there's a way to get that faith, because I've seen it.

Cecily (30:32.642)

Mmm.

Yeah.

Cecily (30:43.635)

Yeah.

Cecily (30:46.891)

Yeah.

Cecily (30:51.79)

when you're doing it in your own strength.

Hope Shanley (30:56.182)

You know? Yeah.

Cecily (30:57.097)

Yeah, that's awesome. So just for our listeners and the audience that's listening right now, there's a couple of things that, nuggets that Hope just dropped on you and I hope you picked up on it. The first one is that there is an enemy who is the one who brings the bad things. And plus the sinfulness of just us as individuals. We're still broken in certain areas and so we break each other. It's just what human beings do.

And so rejection is going to come because we live in a broken world. So there's no way that we can avoid rejection. In fact, Jesus even said, if you live for me, expect rejection. Because if the world hated me and you look just like me, you can expect more of that. So like, oh, yay. I don't think I've ever seen that like on a t-shirt or a coffee cup, like bring on rejection or, you know, yay for persecution, but that's-

That is basically a promise that we can expect. And then the second thing that Hope said that I think is so key is the importance of community. I just want to like sort of amplify that in case you missed it, the importance of community, because I know for John and I, when we were going through that hard time in our family with all of that rejection drama.

our church family was there for us. Not that we sat there and like, kvecht and moaned and complained every single time we were together, but it was just them being there for us and reminding us, you really are good people. Like you're, you're good. You, you're loved. And then just being able to have a positive community to, I don't know, celebrate with shoulders to cry on. And then like Hope was saying,

You hear testimonies just in the day to day of being involved in a Christian community. You see what God is doing in other people's lives and it builds your faith to say, okay, well maybe it's not right now, but God is moving. And so if he did it for them, he'll do it for me. So Christian community is super, super important. I hope, what do you think about that? How do you, how much do you value Christian community?

Hope Shanley (33:20.062)

I actually just real quick want to mention that I think I've told you about this, but if you're anywhere near the Totten area in Massachusetts I'm wearing their merch right now. The Center on Main is our in-process community center that we're building. Still under renovation, but we're open for a church on Sundays. So we have church there, but it's also a community center. So it's gonna be something for everyone and there's gonna be a coffee shop and

Cecily (33:34.08)

Oh, cool.

Hope Shanley (33:47.914)

and a game room and all this stuff, a place for conferences. I'm doing a movie night there in a couple of weeks. And when I tell you like, ever since we sold our traditional little church in Southeast, and you know, I've been there my whole life, but you know, we decided to take a risk and follow what God was leading us to. And we got this community center. And just ever since then, it's just everyone has just been like having the time of their lives really.

Cecily (33:53.581)

Oh my gosh.

Hope Shanley (34:16.666)

Um, it's just been so refreshing and there's just always something going on that we can work on a project together at, um, there. It's just, I'm so, so excited for this to be, you know, fully fledged for community to really gather there more than it already is. Um, but I will say like this also happened in like the perfect timing because as we started building this community center, this was like right when, you know, this rejection had hit me also. So like.

I was just swarmed with so much love and community at that time, and I still am. And it's just really been a very exciting chapter in my life, and I can probably say that for everyone else in the congregation that's been helping out too. So it's really important.

Cecily (35:02.493)

Yes, it is so important. And when we had been talking the other day, you and I were chatting about how in today's day and age, people don't value community. It's almost as if our society is doing everything it can to keep people in isolation. I mean, COVID was the big, huge, blatant, you're in isolation and you can't come out and we won't let you come out and we won't let you have community.

Hope Shanley (35:22.69)

Yeah.

Cecily (35:32.333)

And people found ways to try to preserve or protect the shred of community that they could have. But so many people, like I don't know about your church, but so many people have not reconnected to the local church. I think we're probably better off than a lot of churches as far as the rebound of people who have come back and re-engaged in ministries within the church that have restarted and all of that.

I don't know whether it is the whole texting. I mean, you go to a restaurant and you see two people on a date and they're both on their phones. Like, what are you texting each other? Or why are you texting someone else? Like, why are you checking your likes on Instagram when you are across from a real person? I just feel like our society is just so geared towards

Hope Shanley (36:15.899)

I can't.

Cecily (36:30.701)

to connect and not valuing community. So I'm so excited to hear, first of all, because you're considerably younger than me, probably decades. And so to hear someone in your age bracket value community so much, I think that's really refreshing. Yeah.

Hope Shanley (36:32.108)

Yeah.

Hope Shanley (36:42.253)

Yeah.

Hope Shanley (36:52.566)

Yeah, definitely just been refreshing to be around. I mean, I've always had community from my church, but now it's just like, it's just growing so much and it just feels so abundant. And there's just, you know, if we're not doing something with that, you know, like we'll go over and break bread together with, you know, like we were blessed, me and my friend, we were blessed by, you know, two different homes feeding us dinner.

Cecily (37:06.335)

Mm-hmm.

Hope Shanley (37:21.386)

this week and you know we usually have one or two homes we go to each week to just gather and eat and like anyone's welcome and it's just you'd be so surprised like just how much of a difference that makes in your life and just how refreshing it is to be with people and just like have real conversations and prepare for someone it's just people don't do that anymore and it's just it's so great I love it.

Cecily (37:37.389)

Preach that!

Cecily (37:43.159)

Yeah.

Cecily (37:50.237)

It is so great. And so in the past couple of weeks, as I have been doing pre-interviews and also recording back recordings for podcasts, I've been talking with people. And like, for instance, the guy I just mentioned, who is the sobriety coach, he was talking about how when he came out of addiction, if it was not for community, he would not have survived. He said there's no way that he could have gotten sober and stayed sober.

outside of community. So there's that story. Then second of all, I was talking with this young lady whose mother committed suicide two years ago and the grief and just the whole weariness of the grief process. And she said, like I asked her, so what are the lessons? Like what are some of the tools you have in your tool belt now that you could share with someone that is going through the same kind of thing you're going through? And she said, you know, she, one of her tools was

get in community because community did, she said almost word for word what you said, that was where she found encouragement. It's where people surrounded her, brought meals. She was able to get into Bible studies, which yes, it was kind of a distraction, but it also built her faith and put her mind on things that would actually build her up rather than the thoughts of things she couldn't change.

Hope Shanley (38:49.57)

Mm-hmm.

Cecily (39:16.545)

that we're just tearing her down. So community is so important. And to tie this all back to like bring this right on back to rejection, for those of you out there who are suffering with rejection, one of the things you might not wanna do is get involved in community because there's this lie that we think that we're protecting ourselves from rejection if we stay in isolation. But here's the thing.

Hope Shanley (39:16.589)

Yeah.

Cecily (39:44.997)

You can't protect yourself from rejection 100%. None of us can. And the very thing that you need when and if rejection or any emotional pain comes into your life is the thing that you might be isolating yourself from. And that is healthy and I say preferably godly community. It's so important.

Hope Shanley (40:09.994)

Mm-hmm.

Cecily (40:12.145)

And it also, another thing about community is that it helps us to protect from the chameleon syndrome, where we morph into whatever we think that the people around us need or want us to be and lose touch with our true self. If you're in a true godly community, they call out the real you. They celebrate the real you. With all the good, with all the bad, with all the ugly.

It's where you can actually go to find who you really are and express it. Do you feel that way? Do you feel like you're more of the real you?

Hope Shanley (40:47.164)

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And yeah, it definitely just, it makes you want to be the real you, nonetheless. And it's also just great for accountability. I'm someone like I know I need accountability, and I need people to kind of hold me to certain standards, or I'll just

Cecily (41:04.534)

Mmm.

Hope Shanley (41:13.582)

I'll fall short. Because I just know myself and not everyone is like that. But for me, it really is like a healthy, the more I surround myself with these sorts of people and things that I involve myself in, just the more joyful and on fire and motivated I feel. And it's just so evident when you surround yourself with that sort of environment and people. It's just really like.

Cecily (41:26.611)

Yeah.

Hope Shanley (41:43.05)

You know, I feel like people have told me like I'm glowing when I'm just all around it, you know, and you really just, it's such a joyful thing and such a blessing.

Cecily (41:53.485)

That is so awesome. That is so great. So just to kind of recap for everyone who's listening, we repurpose the experience of rejection. We can't actually repurpose rejection because rejection itself is something that we're gonna experience all our lives, but we can repurpose the fear of rejection into an unshakable awareness of Jesus' love for us.

Hope Shanley (42:18.734)

Yeah.

Cecily (42:23.177)

and we can anchor our worth and our value in Him. And then the fear of rejection won't attach itself to us or imprison us in unhealthy mindsets and behaviors. Additionally, we can reach out to community and we can start to see ourselves through the eyes of people who believe the best about us, who are there to call out the gold in us.

like Hope said, to hold us accountable in all the best and good ways. So is there anything that you wanna add, Hope, before I kinda close this out in prayer?

Hope Shanley (43:04.942)

I think the only thing I'll say is just, when you don't know why something is happening, it doesn't change who God is, and it doesn't change the fact that He is working. He's never not working. So when things feel still in life and you feel stuck, even though you can't see it, God is always working. And I know it can still be discouraging, but try to be encouraged by the fact that

Cecily (43:15.298)

so good.

Hope Shanley (43:34.538)

He is good no matter what the circumstances are in our lives and he is always working for a plan in our lives. So just know that and try to find peace in that.

Cecily (43:43.158)

Yeah.

That was, that's a huge wisdom bomb right there, guys. That even if you can't see it, he's working. How does that bad bridge go in Waymaker? You know that song?

Hope Shanley (43:57.734)

Oh yeah, even when I don't see that you're working. Even when I don't see that you're working, yep.

Cecily (44:00.649)

Yeah.

Can you sing that for us, girl? Can we get like a free Brit?

Hope Shanley (44:06.299)

No, I can't sit there right now. Maybe I'll post a cover, but I'm not going to post a cover right now.

Cecily (44:09.145)

Dang it! There you go, there you go. Oh sure, okay. Well, it is the truth, and nonetheless, even though she won't sing it, it is the truth that even when we can't see it, he's working. Even when we're still walking through the valley of the shadow of death, we don't have to fear evil, because it says,

Hope Shanley (44:21.878)

Right.

Cecily (44:37.557)

He is our, Jesus is our good shepherd. And if you're trying to walk through a season of rejection without Jesus, more power to you, but I don't see how you can repurpose the fear of rejection outside of knowing that number one, that God is good. And the only way you can know that is truly to be his, to truly give him your heart and your life, to truly say, I've tried it my way long enough.

Hope Shanley (44:37.559)

Yeah.

Cecily (45:06.877)

and it's not working. I've tried to talk my way out of this. I've tried to behave my way out of this. I've tried to manipulate the circumstances. Like I can't fix this and I certainly can't fix me. And to that Jesus says, that's fine. That's my business. That's my job and I'm really good at it. I'm really good at taking broken things and making something beautiful out of it. I'm really good at taking the ashes of the life that you've burned to the ground.

Hope Shanley (45:08.36)

Yep.

Cecily (45:35.313)

and reconstructing it into what I always designed for it to be. I am really good at taking somebody who's got a broken nose and resetting it into a better looking nose. I am the best God. I have got your best interest at heart. So I'm just going to pray for those of you who are going through a season of rejection right now. Heavenly Father, I just bring these precious people to you, Lord.

Hope Shanley (45:47.247)

Yeah.

Cecily (46:05.037)

that are experiencing rejection or just are coming through a season of rejection and feeling like it has got the best of them, that they can't sleep, they can't focus, they're just losing their mind over how they're feeling. The helplessness and the hopelessness and the waves of anger and depression that are a result, that come in the aftermath.

of rejection, sort of like aftershocks, after an earthquake. I'm asking Lord that you will speak peace to their storm, that you will speak peace to their heart. If they know you, Jesus, help them really free fall right into your arms to dive into learning what you are saying, hearing what you are saying, getting involved in good Christian community, not staying isolated anymore.

letting those walls of isolation come down and allowing you to show them through community and through hearing your voice that they are loved, they are accepted, that you've got this and help them not to leave this place of devastation without a revelation of your goodness. And for those who are listening who don't know you, Jesus, I am asking that you would make yourself so real to them in this season.

Move whatever mountain needs to be moved. Pull down whatever objections need to be pulled down. Bring people across their path that they will honor and they'll listen to that speak their language exactly the way they need to hear about your goodness, Lord. Do whatever you need to do to show yourself to them because you really are so loving, Lord. Who would die for a wretch like us when we were your enemy?

When we mocked you, you died for us, not when we had it all together. So I thank you for revealing that to the people who are listening. And we just pray all this in your name, Jesus. Amen. Well, Hope, I wish we could keep talking because there's so much more that I know you could share. And I wanna thank you so much for this great discussion and for sharing your story with us.

Hope Shanley (48:16.562)

Amen.

Hope Shanley (48:29.618)

Yeah.

Cecily (48:30.721)

Thanks. And before we sign off, folks, I want to invite our listeners to join the live Q&A discussion with Hope and me when it gets scheduled. So keep your eyes on my Instagram and Facebook to see when Hope and I will be hosting this live on Instagram. Because maybe you have questions about how her rejection impacted her life and you want to ask her specific questions about how she repurposed that rejection or

Maybe you've been doing this work with God and you want to share a part of your story. We'd love to hear about it. So in our Q&A, you're going to have the opportunity to do just that. Make sure to join us and share the link on all your social places so you and your friends and followers can join as well. And for now, I just want to thank you, our incredible tribe, for being a part of today's podcast. As always, we're here to help you and encourage you on your pursuit of Jesus.

So if anything you heard today blessed you, then please let us know in the comments. And also, don't just keep this to yourself. Be a conduit of blessing so other people can benefit. I encourage you to share what you learned with other people, whether that's on social media or during a conversation at the water cooler at work or hanging out with friends. And if you haven't already, subscribe to this podcast wherever you're listening to it, whether it's...

Spotify, Apple, YouTube, and also join my email list on my website, Hire so you can receive my newsletter and my blog. Guys, we are on a pursuit of more of Jesus together. None of us have arrived, that is for sure, but my goal for this podcast is always to offer you something nourishing that will strengthen, encourage you, and challenge you as you pursue Jesus.

Hope Shanley (50:11.819)

I'm sorry.

Cecily (50:23.497)

in the midst of your everyday life. So until next time, I pray that you'll walk in the favor of God, and we'll see you in the next episode. Have a wonderful day.

Hope Shanley (50:36.908)

Okay