Breaking Free from a False Identity: Healing & Transformation Through Christ

Summary

In this episode of the Higher Pursuit Podcast, Cecily Lachapelle discusses the theme of repurposing broken identity. She shares personal stories of her struggles with identity, the impact of life events, and the importance of understanding one's true identity in Christ. The conversation emphasizes the need for healing and transformation through faith, and provides practical steps for listeners to repurpose their pain into a solid identity rooted in God's truth.

Takeaways

• What we believe about ourselves shapes every decision we make.
• Repurposing our broken identity is essential for healing.
• Our identity is built on the truth of God's word.
• Comparison can lead to a broken identity.
• Self-esteem and identity are not the same thing.
• Life events can significantly impact our sense of self.
• We must seek God's voice to define our identity.
• Healing requires honesty and vulnerability with God.
• Memorizing scripture helps renew our minds.
• Understanding our unique characteristics is key to fulfilling our purpose.

Sound Bites

• "Repurposing our broken identity is essential."
• "My identity was built on sinking sand."
• "I found a Bible and opened it up."
• "Your identity won't be shaken."
• "Comparison is a killer."
• "Who has the right to define who you are?"
• "Self-esteem and identity are not the same thing."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Higher Pursuit Podcast

01:30 Repurposing Broken Identity

03:25 Personal Stories of Identity

08:31 The Impact of Life Events on Identity

10:57 Signs of a Broken Identity

16:12 The Authority of Self-Definition

17:40 Understanding Identity vs. Self-Esteem

20:29 Keys to Repurposing Identity

22:56 Practical Steps for Healing Identity

30:33 Conclusion and Call to Action

Keywords

identity, repurpose, pain, healing, self-esteem, faith, personal stories, transformation, podcast, God

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Higher Pursuit Podcast
• 1:30 Repurposing Broken Identity
• 3:25 Personal Stories of Identity
• 8:31 The Impact of Life Events on Identity
• 10:57 Signs of a Broken Identity
• 16:12 The Authority of Self-Definition
• 17:40 Understanding Identity vs. Self-Esteem
• 20:29 Keys to Repurposing Identity
• 22:56 Practical Steps for Healing Identity
• 30:33 Conclusion and Call to Action

Transcript

Transcript 

Cecily Lachapelle (00:17.474)

Welcome to the Higher Pursuit podcast where we are pursuing God's highest and best for our lives together. We all have different backgrounds and we all have different challenges, but thank God, he has given us truth to hang on to and to apply to our lives that will bring a change no matter what circumstances we find ourselves in. And what color our skin is?

Cecily Lachapelle (00:58.808)

Welcome to the Hire Pursuit Podcast.

Welcome to the Higher Pursuit Podcast, where we're pursuing God's highest and best for our lives together. We all have different backgrounds and challenges, but thank God, He's given us truth to hang onto and to apply to our lives that will bring change no matter what circumstances we find ourselves in.

Cecily Lachapelle (01:30.124)

Welcome to the Higher Pursuit Podcast, where we're pursuing God's highest and best for our lives together. We all have different backgrounds and challenges, but thank God, he's given us truth to hang on to and to apply to our lives that will bring a change no matter what circumstances we find ourselves in, no matter what color our skin is or what our past looks like. So with that said, let's dive right into today's episode in our series titled, Repurpose Your Pain. So today,

we're going to be discussing repurposing our broken identity. Now, if you've read my book, Repurpose Your Pain, then you know that I put this pain point first because I honestly think that this is the most important pain that we need to repurpose before we look at anything else. I'm convinced that what we believe about ourselves is actually the second most important thing we can believe. The first most important thing we can believe is what we believe about God.

But right after that, it's what we believe about ourselves because that shapes every decision that we make in one way or another. And we're going to get into that in more depth shortly. But before we get too far into this discussion, I want to tell you something exciting. Next week, we're going to have my good friend and fellow Bible geek, Chris Tower on the podcast. Chris and I sat down the other day and had a really eye-opening talk about broken identity.

And he shared a recent experience that highlighted an area of his identity that was still broken. So you're not going to want to miss that episode. Make sure to be tuning in next week and share it with your friends so they can tune in as well. But today, I'm going to lay the groundwork on what identity is and what it's not. I'm going to share how my identity got broken and how I repurposed and continue to repurpose.

that broken identity into the one that God created for me before I was born. So let's dive in. I want to start with a couple stories from my life that I think demonstrates one place where my identity got broken early in my years and how God brought healing to those fractures. But then also I want to share with you how, you know, another situation where my identity had been repurposed and I saw

Cecily Lachapelle (03:54.722)

the difference that God brought in my life. So when I was 15, my parents got divorced and that shook me to my core. My identity already was not really rock solid. I had built my identity on all the things that a non-Christian teenager.

would build my identity on, my grades, my acceptance, whether I was pretty, whether boys liked me, whether this group liked me. I mean, this is a while ago, but guys, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, we didn't have, thank God, we didn't have social media, we didn't have cell phones, we didn't have any of those things. I don't know if I would have survived it because I already didn't do very well in the situation I was in. And so when my parents announced their divorce to me, it absolutely shattered me.

If you'd asked me if I was okay, I would have said, yeah, absolutely, I'm fine. I'm gonna live with my dad who's gonna let me do whatever I want. mean, things really couldn't have been any better for me on the surface. And they looked like I had everything together. But the fact that my identity was built on sinking sand became evident very, very quickly. I immediately started overeating and then I got into binging and purging.

Then after that, it began smoking cigarettes and then drinking and then sexual intercourse. I mean, you name it. There was something that I could hurt myself with. I did it. And it was a very, very challenging thing for me to navigate. And so then when I accepted the Lord, he repurposed this broken identity into the identity that he had for me the entire time.

And it was so amazing. The night that I got saved, I was by myself in my bedroom and I found a Bible and I opened it up and the Lord led me through the book of Psalms. And I just wept like a baby. I was asking God all these questions. I didn't even know if God was real. I had been raised in a very traditional church, but I still didn't see how some guy dying on a cross 2000 years ago had anything to do with me right now.

Cecily Lachapelle (06:09.772)

And so I was asking God all these questions. If you're real, I need you to speak to me now. And he did. And then he led me to Psalm 51. And in Psalm 51, it's just it's a repentance prayer of David. And I use that as my repentance prayer. I said those words, bawling my eyes out, meaning every bit of it. And I was saved in that moment. But not only did the Lord bring me out of Egypt, so to speak, bring me out of my sin.

But he also showed me who he created me to be because there's two lines in that Psalm that are very interesting. One, David says, I will sing your praises before the congregation. And another line he says, and I will teach sinners your way. And the Lord highlighted to me in that moment, the two things that had always been passions of mine, singing and teaching, were the exact things that he had called me to do.

but now he was gonna use them for his kingdom. He was going to use them for his glory. And I was gonna have the satisfaction in doing those things the right way, the way God created me to do them and be the person he created me to be with no regret anymore, no shame. I never thought as a teenager, I would ever again be a person that could look themselves in the mirror and not hate themselves. And in that night,

The Lord took all my shame. He took all my regret. He took all my sin. And he gave me a new identity in him. And then I joined a great church right away and I began to learn the word of God. And I began to do the work of continuing to build my identity upon the truth of God's word. I mean, Jesus said that it's the wise man who builds his house upon the rock.

And the foolish man builds his house upon the sand. The storms are gonna come to both people. But the one who builds his life upon the rock, his house is going to stand. And I'd say the same thing to you about your identity. If you're building your identity upon the rock of God's word, the rock of the revelation of who Jesus is and who he has made you to be as a child of God, then even when the storms come and they will come, your identity,

Cecily Lachapelle (08:31.68)

won't be shaken. You might lose some stuff along the way, but your identity won't be shaken. And so that leads me to my second story. So years and years later, after a 13 year marriage, my husband decided that he didn't want to be married to me anymore. And I became a single mom overnight of four children. And in one day, my entire world was pulled out from underneath me.

All the dreams that I'd had for our marriage, for our family, for my children being able to grow up in a home where their biological parents stayed together, something I didn't get to enjoy, it was all gone. That storm came and tried to wash away my identity. But this time, unlike my parents' divorce, this time I had Jesus, and this time I knew where to run.

And I was able to go to the Lord every day and have his presence sit there with me as I read the word, as I journaled, as I poured out my fears, my sadness, my bitterness, my anger, as I processed all of the pain of this dream that died. And the Lord was able to hold me together so that I knew that while I may have suffered,

devastating losses that did not reflect on who I was in him. Who I was had not changed. Even though there were accusations and regrets even that I had of things I wish I had done differently, it did not change who I was in him and to him and who he was to me. My identity stood the test because it was built over time.

on the truth of who the Lord is to me and who I am to him. So now you've heard some of my stories. Let's look at some of the signs and the symptoms of a broken identity. And this is what it looked like for me in seasons where I've struggled with a broken identity. Maybe you can relate. I have lived in the purgatory of who I long to be versus who I honestly, deep down, think that I am.

Cecily Lachapelle (10:57.748)

That's a tough one because when you know who you want to be, but deep down you feel like you're something very different. You want to be a good person, but you don't feel like you're a good person. You want to be a success, but you feel like you are a failure. Not that you fail, but that you are a failure. You want to be confident, but deep down you feel like you are shameful or a reject.

or deficient. Those are so, that's a very hard purgatory place to live. I also have lived in the crucible of comparison. And I think this is like a vicious virus in today's society because of social media. Comparison is a killer. I know we are all aware of it, but are we actually doing the things to pull ourselves out of that comparison trap?

Are we digging into the word of God to find out what he says about us so that we know the truth that we are accepted in the beloved, that we belong to him, that we are his inheritance? And there was another trap that I fell into often, which was the trap of perfectionism. And that's the need to keep achieving, to keep constantly striving.

You know, the last achievement didn't validate me or give me the success or the satisfaction that I needed. So maybe the next one will. That's how a broken identity showed up in my life. And in my relationship to the Lord, it was tough because I never had enough faith to pray with authority or conviction. I lived on a roller coaster of feelings of being loved by God one minute and then being an orphan.

So, you know, looking at people who are called to do something visible and then thinking that, you know, my calling isn't enough. I'm home raising kids and I'm not making enough of a dent or, you know, I'm not out there doing things the way people are. I'm not good enough. Or feeling like I'm failing in my walk with the Lord. Maybe my emotions are in a jumble.

Cecily Lachapelle (13:16.638)

and I'm not really feeling the connection to God and allowing my feelings to dictate my identity and the truth of who I am and dictate whether I can go into God's presence with confidence and authority based on who He is, what He's done for me and who I am because of what He's done. So many times our emotions want to hijack us, but man, I don't know about you, but...

My emotions are fickle. I can feel like I am amazing one minute and then here's some sort of bad report. Somebody doesn't like something I said or did. Someone in the family's mad about this or that or you know, any of those things that come against us. And the next minute I'm feeling like a complete reject and a loser. So which is the truth? That I'm all that or that I'm a loser? Neither is the truth. What is the truth is who God says I am.

And so my emotions are fickle. And if I allow my emotions to dictate my identity, I'm going to get nauseated in a barfing in a barf bag, riding that roller coaster of my emotions. You know, I know that men struggle with this in different ways than women do, where I know a lot of men who struggle because society tells them that there's a specific identity that you should have as a man.

And yet you don't feel that you are all that. Maybe you feel like you should be impenetrable, that you should never make a mistake, that you should never be wrong, that you should always have the answers, that you should always have more than enough and be the provider, be the successful man. And yet your life doesn't always add up to that. But instead of bringing that brokenness to the Lord, you're stuffing it. And what ends up happening with a lot of guys

is that your anger or your emotional evacuation, so to speak, is your wall of safety. So no one sees your flaws. No one sees where you feel like you're failing. You bought the lie that men don't fail or fall or flounder and your broken identity makes you lash out or put up a wall against anyone who either knowingly or unknowingly exposes your brokenness. And then as far as our kids, man.

Cecily Lachapelle (15:43.416)

gender confusion, complete identity confusion, comparison because of social media. I mean, it's all so tough for our children now. They don't have a chance apart from the Lord Jesus Christ moving into their lives of being able to have a solid identity. So let me ask you this, who has the right or the authority

to define who you are. Do you even know? Have you ever even asked yourself the question, who told me that? Why do I believe that? Is that even true? Because what we believe about ourselves shapes every single thing we do. It shapes every decision. It shapes every action. It shapes whether we take risks.

It shapes our values and our goals, all of it. Most of us end up believing things about ourselves that the world, our parents, our teachers, boyfriends, girlfriends have told us either overtly or covertly. And most of that information is totally, totally wrong. And even those of us who came from a background that grounded you in a healthy self-esteem may still not be living in the fullness of who God created you to be unless

you're intimately connected to the voice of the one who made you and who loves you beyond anything you can imagine. And the reason I bring up the difference between self-esteem and identity is because they're not the same thing. My book describes that because self-esteem and identity actually have their own chapters in my book. Self-esteem is formed by our experiences and input that we receive over our lifetimes. While our identity was

formed before our mother ever even conceived us. Did you know that? Check this out. It says in Isaiah, for you formed my inmost being. You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are your works and I know this very well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in secret, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

Cecily Lachapelle (18:08.812)

Your eyes saw my unformed body. All my days were written in your book and ordained before one of them came to be. God knew you. He knew you before. And that's what I want to talk to you about in this episode. You see, every single one of us can repurpose the pain of a broken identity into a rock solid identity in Jesus Christ that no crisis, loss,

or setback can steal. And we do that through connecting with the one who made us and who is the only one who has the right to speak to that identity. Now, let me go back to that scripture for a second where the Lord says, I knew you when you and I formed you in your mother's womb. know, God is like, he's like the architect. If you think about it, a house

exists in the mind of the architect before there's a plan, before the plan gets into the hands of the contractor, before the contractor hires out the people who are going to build it, before the realtor gets the listing, and before the people who buy the house ever get the keys. That house existed and was seen in the mind of the architect. And God

is the architect of your identity. He knows why he created you. He knows how he created you. There are some general characteristics of identity that when you become a child of God, you share it with all children of God. But there are also unique facets of your identity that are specific just to you. And

God is so thrilled and excited to unpack that for you. And I'm going to tell you, it is actually the most important process you will ever engage in in your entire life. It is. It's a journey. It's a journey that takes commitment and vulnerability. But it's one process that you cannot afford to avoid because it's not only going to set you free from the pain and the exhaustion of a broken identity, and it is exhausting.

Cecily Lachapelle (20:29.72)

but it empowers you to truly live. And when you truly, truly live and you are truly, authentically you in this world, not trying to be someone else, not trying to jump into someone else's scenario, get into someone else's lane, but you know you're lame and you're running in it and you're happy and content and satisfied to be who God created you to be, people notice that.

Because I'm telling you, most of the people that you interact with have a broken identity. They don't know who God created them to be. And so when somebody comes into the office situation, into a church setting, when someone marries into a family, or you join a social club, whatever it is, when you come on the scene, knowing who you are in Christ, and unabashedly and unashamedly living

in your rock solid identity, then all the other posers all around you, they take notice. When we understand who Jesus is and what he has secured for us in the new birth, we're finally able to walk in our true identity as children of God. From that point forward, our job is to lean into Jesus and to hear him speak so that we can learn to live in the fullness of who we were created to be.

So in my book, I wrote this quote and I'm just gonna read it. It says, I found that there are three keys to repurposing my broken identity into the one God created for me before I was born. And the great news is that you can access these keys and unlock the process of allowing the Lord to repurpose your broken identity into an unshakable identity as a son of God, fully loved, fully accepted right now.

with all your flaws and hangups. Whatever the trauma, loss or brokenness was that hijacked our identity, Jesus has a path that leads to peace, peace with him and with ourselves. So, all right, Cecily, that sounds great. How do we repurpose our broken identity? Well, let's talk about the three keys. The first one is to bring the loss and the grief to the Lord with honesty and brokenness.

Cecily Lachapelle (22:56.83)

Next week, you're going to hear Chris Tower share about what this looked like when he was recently going through a real challenge with part of his identity that was still broken and he didn't know it. And he's going to share the whole journey, the whole process. And it was great because as we were having our discussion for for that interview, I couldn't believe how without even realizing it, he went through all three.

of the keys that I'm going to be sharing with you. So cool. God is so good. So in the book, I put an exercise for this and I encourage you to write down some major events in your life and think about how they shaped you. What did those events or losses say to you and about who you are and about your identity? How did they shape who you became?

So for the purpose of demonstrating this exercise, I'm going to use the season of my parents divorce as an example. Believe it or not, back when I was a teenager, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, most of my friends' parents weren't getting divorced. This was in the mid 80s, early 80s rather. And I felt because my parents were of the few that got divorced, I felt like there was something wrong with my family.

because we were going through this. And like many kids do, they personalize that. And so I personalized that to be there's something wrong with me because I came from this family. So if we're broken, if we don't function right, if things that other people can do that are important, like stay married, raise their kids together, if that doesn't work in my family and I came from that family, then I'm broken. I'm deficient.

Somehow, somehow I don't have all the features that I need to have. The massive changes and everything that divorce entails caused my parents to really spiral into their own grief. I know having gone through divorce now, unfortunately, I have awareness. I know exactly now what they were going through. But when I was a teenager, I needed the stability of my parents more than ever.

Cecily Lachapelle (25:21.314)

and adjusting to being at boarding school and having them announce their divorce, I had them the least. They weren't physically there because I was at boarding school. And then when I, they weren't able to really check in on me and I felt abandoned. So I came out of that season feeling like an orphan, like I was alone, that I was unsupported, that I was deficient, that I was defective. And one thing I've realized is that

Our perception of events is often more impactful and real to us than the events themselves. I know my parents were probably there for me a whole lot more than I recall or that I felt, but in that teenage angst and in the crisis of all the changes of my life, that was my takeaway. That's how I felt. So then as an adult, I had to think about what was I thinking about back in that season? And I had to reinterpret everything.

And I realized with the Holy Spirit's help that those feelings of being an orphan and alone, defective, deficient, they were still a part of me. They were still working under the surface, like a program with a virus and that was corrupting all the other programs that were running. So knowing how those emotions and that mindset got there and bringing the Lord into the process with me,

I was able to repurpose that broken part of my identity. And that leads me to key number two. Search your Bible to discover who Jesus is in relationship to the brokenness that you've just uncovered. And search for who you are because of who he is. Okay, so let me unpack this for you because this is where psychological theories like the law of attraction or new age mysticism or

or self-help, this is where Christianity very obviously veers off of that path. Up till now, we might have all been talking the same thing, but now we as believers, as children of God, are going to the word of God to purposefully look at who Jesus is and how that impacts our identity. So for me, I saw that Jesus gave his life to rescue me.

Cecily Lachapelle (27:47.404)

and to bring me back to the Heavenly Father and to give me a new nature as a child of God. So what did that have to do with me and my identity? Well, it showed me that I was the farthest thing from an orphan and deficient. I was actually wanted, pursued, loved, cherished, and adopted. I knew that all that was in the Bible, but for the purpose of dismantling the lies and renewing my mind to the truth of who I am in Christ,

I had to go after those chapters and verses. I had to write them out and meditate on them. Which brings me to the third key, which is memorize scripture to renew your mind and use as weapons against the enemy. So I want to conclude with this final thought on identity. Like I said a bit ago, in addition to the identity that we have as children of God, we all

have unique characteristics that are specific to our purpose and are as unique to us as our fingerprints. Let me give you an example. Let's say that there's two 13-year-old girls, and they both love going and helping in the twos and threes class at church. But they're going into that class, volunteering their time, loving being with these toddlers for different reasons. One of them likes teaching the toddlers.

and seeing the little ones finally understand a concept or gain a skill that they didn't have before because this little girl taught them. The other one loves to give comfort to the ones who miss their parents. So you've got two similar desires of going in and working in the twos and threes class, but two totally different giftings and callings that are driving those desires. One girl's gonna grow up to be

probably a Bible teacher or a teacher of some sort. And the other one is probably gonna grow up to either be a wonderful mom or a caregiver or find ways that that compassion, that heart of compassion and desire to offer comfort can be utilized in her life and for those around her. So pay attention to the things that make you feel alive and invigorated. I always say pay attention to what makes your baby jump.

Cecily Lachapelle (30:05.504)

If you are watching somebody do something and in your mind you're thinking, my gosh, I can do that. I want to do that. That's a key to some of the things that you're called to do. God speaks to us also in our journaling and messages and even through random connections and conversations. So make sure to pay attention to those things. It's so important. So to sum up, our identity in Christ is the most important thing about us.

and it's going to determine everything we think and speak and do. So it just makes sense that this is the first hurdle of repurposing our pain that we've got to work our way over because it affects every aspect of our lives. And what about you? Are you riding that roller coaster of he loves me, he loves me not in your walk with the Lord? Are you stuck?

in the crucible of comparison. What about the anger and isolation trap? Has someone else's broken identity impacted yours? And has your broken identity impacted someone else, like a spouse, your children, or other people close to you? As I've been talking, have you been putting together pieces from past events and pain in your past?

And are you beginning to see why you think and feel the way you do in some areas? And are those pieces beginning to paint the picture that your identity might have some cracks or be broken? Were you once strong and confident in who you are in Christ, only to have suffered a loss, a trauma, or a pain that imprisoned you again to that old broken identity? Have you lost sight of your true

nature in Christ. Friends, God's design is for you to repurpose the pain of your broken identity into an unshakable awareness of your unique characteristics of the way God made you. He desires that you walk in authority and confidence based on who you are in Christ, which is solely grounded on the covenant of God and the sacrifice of Jesus for you.

Cecily Lachapelle (32:29.42)

He desires that we live in the fullness of who we were created to be, not only for our benefit, but also for the benefit of those whose lives we impact. God's design is to stand resolute in the knowledge that you belong here. You belong here in the family of God and close to his heart. So let's pray. Heavenly Father.

I ask that you would help us repurpose our broken identity into the stable and secure identity of who you created us to be as children of God. And also unveil to us the unique facets of our identity that bring us fulfillment and joy. Help us to bring our pain to you. Help us to tune our ear to what you're saying.

as we honestly unpack the places where our identity got broken by someone else's choices, where our broken identity has wounded other people. Help us repent where we need to and forgive ourselves and others where we need to. Bring healing Lord to all of this brokenness and help us to stand on the rock of who you created us to be.

so we can stop wasting time and strength trying to be someone else. We thank you Lord, that you're gonna help us get in our lane and run our race to win. Not run someone else's race, but run the race that you have uniquely called us and given us the ability to run. In Jesus' amen. Amen.

Well, folks, thank you so much for joining me today on this podcast. And I'm so glad that you've been here with us. I encourage you to like and subscribe this video to this video and to my channel. Make sure to share it. And if you have any questions or comments, please leave them below and I'd be happy to answer those questions.

Cecily Lachapelle (34:53.6)

And if you're not familiar with the book that I'm talking about, the book that I wrote is called Repurpose Your Pain, Moving From Pain to Purpose and From Instability to Firm Faith. So I just pray a blessing on you today. Thank you so much for joining me in this podcast. And don't forget next week, I have my special guest, Chris Tower, my friend and Bible geek who's going to be sharing his process and his journey of repurposing a broken identity.

So until next week, I hope you have a blessed one. Talk to you soon. Bye bye.