The Perfectionism Trap

Summary: 

In this episode of The Higher Pursuit Podcast, Cecily Lachapelle gets real about the grip of perfectionism—where it comes from, how it shows up in our lives, and why it often keeps us stuck and spiritually exhausted. Drawing from her own journey, Cecily shares vulnerably about her battle with perfectionism and the fear, shame, and self-criticism that fueled it.

With biblical insight and practical encouragement, she invites listeners to stop striving for flawlessness and instead lean into the grace of God—the kind that frees us to be faithful, not perfect. If you’ve ever felt like you’re never quite enough or constantly falling short, this episode will speak to your soul and help you take one step closer to freedom.

Top 5 Takeaways from This Episode:

1. Perfectionism isn’t about excellence—it’s driven by fear.
2. God invites us to grow, not to be flawless.
3. Real freedom comes when we stop striving and lean into grace.
4. Perfectionism can actually hold us back from obeying God.
5. God’s love helps us release fear and show up with honesty and peace.

Practical Step:
This week, pay attention to moments when you feel the need to “get it perfect.” Pause and ask yourself: “What am I afraid of right now?”
Then, write it down in a journal or your notes app. End by praying, “God, help me trade this fear for your grace and truth.”

Chapters

• 00:00 Introduction to Perfectionism
• 03:19 Understanding the Roots of Perfectionism
• 06:45 God's Perspective on Perfectionism
• 09:37 Finding Freedom from Perfectionism
• 10:46 Practical Steps to Overcome Perfectionism
• 12:14 Conclusion and Encouragement

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Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Perfectionism
• 3:19 Understanding the Roots of Perfectionism
• 6:45 God's Perspective on Perfectionism
• 9:37 Finding Freedom from Perfectionism
• 10:46 Practical Steps to Overcome Perfectionism
• 12:14 Conclusion and Encouragement

Transcript

Transcript: 

Cecily Lachapelle (00:01.23)

Hey there, my friends. I'm Cecily Lachapelle, and this is the Higher Pursuit Podcast. Listen, I have two questions for you. Have you ever felt like no matter how hard you try, it's never quite good enough, and you're exhausted from trying to hold it all together? And what if your drive to be perfect isn't actually about excellence at all, but about fear? Well, in case you haven't figured it out already,

Today we are talking about a topic and a trap that many of us fall into, even as believers, and that is perfectionism. And before we dig into what perfectionism is and how it cripples us, I have to tell myself, I have firsthand experience with a struggle. I literally cannot remember a time in my life when I haven't struggled with perfectionism.

I remember totally psyching myself out before piano recitals or voice recitals or dance recitals or exams. I was so completely phobic about making a mistake that I ended up creating the very scenario that I was afraid of. The fear of making a mistake would paralyze me and then I would end up either forgetting lyrics to a song or I would forget my finger placement for the keys.

I was such a perfectionist as a child that I quit anything that involved competition because I was just totally freaked out and afraid of, I don't know, not being first, coming in second or third or God forbid, not getting any recognition at all. And perfectionism made me anxious about everything. And this isn't just in childhood. This is something I've struggled with like right up till...

I don't know, five minutes ago, striving to be the best or to at least have a perfect performance. And that leads me to the other crippling aspect of perfectionism that dogged me, the performance trap. I was told on repeated occasions as a child and as a teenager that people saw me as talented, smart, highly successful. What was weird is that my inner voice of shame and self-criticism

Cecily Lachapelle (02:23.958)

was giving me a completely different narrative. I could never just relax and be happy with my achievements or just enjoy being who I was with all my imperfections My inner voice never let me see myself in a positive, healthy light. I would minimize every success and I would magnify every perceived failure. And even as an adult, perfectionism would make me become stuck in the gate.

Like a horse who's been trained to run the derby, the moment the gun goes off, the horse would just freeze. It's caused me to question myself incessantly. It's caused me to compare my accomplishments with other people. I could go on and on. Have any of you ever struggled with these aspects of perfectionism and being driven in the performance trap?

Perfectionism is an unrelenting desire. Let's unpack what perfectionism is. Perfectionism is an unrelenting desire to appear or act or be perfect, often to gain approval, avoid judgment, or silence an internal shame. For people who are development-oriented like me,

It can feel like a drive to produce results or utilize our gifts, but it's not because perfectionism is actually the phantom of the opera of Christ-centered stewardship. It's fear behind a mask. So to connect the dots, perfectionism often looks like excellence, but it's driven by fear. When we catch ourselves struggling with the fear and anxiety of perfectionism,

We need to ask ourselves, what am I afraid of if I'm not perfect? Am I afraid of rejection? Am I afraid of failure? Am I afraid of not being enough? Am I afraid of missing an opportunity that I think I can't get back? Am I afraid of missing out on a life that I feel I absolutely have to have to be happy? Because we have to understand that the word of God tells us we have to understand.

Cecily Lachapelle (04:46.392)

that The word of God tells us in 2 Timothy 1,7, that God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. So right there, we see the fear doesn't come from God. And if perfectionism is rooted in fear, then it's not from him either. Another scripture we can look at is 1 John 4:18. And I'm reading from the NLT. It says, such love has no fear.

because perfect love expels all fear. If we're afraid, it is for fear of punishment. So perfectionism can stem from a fear of being punished by disapproval or failure or punished by our own self-criticism, our own shame, our own self-hatred. God's love and a solid foundation in our identity in Christ frees us from all that. Praise God.

Another scripture we can look at is found in Galatians 3.3. And Paul says to the Galatians, are you so foolish that after beginning in the spirit, you're now trying to finish by means of the flesh? So Paul is saying that trying to be perfect in our own strength is a return to striving. And it means that we have actually turned away from Spirit led living. So let's look at God's view of progress versus perfectionism.

So God calls us to faithfulness and growth, not flawlessness. And I think that's really important. It's all about the journey. But for me, I've often struggled with recognizing the fact that the Lord is very pleased with the fact that I'm on a journey and that I'm growing closer to Him day by day. And He doesn't expect perfection from me because Jesus was the only perfect one.

Our job isn't to imitate Jesus' perfection, but to imitate His obedience and His surrender. So now let's look at another scripture in Philippians, and it's Philippians 1:6. "He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion." This is such a freeing scripture for me. You have no idea how many times and in how many seasons.

Cecily Lachapelle (07:12.522)

I've had to recite this over and over and over that God, he began the good work in me and he is going to bring it to completion. Yes, I have my role in partnering with God, but he's holding me. He's working in me. He's correcting me. He's aligning me. God is the one who is perfecting or in the Greek translation, it's maturing us, not us maturing or perfecting ourselves.

That is the best news ever. Recently, I had the revelation that Jesus is the anchor that holds within the veil. That means that Jesus is holding me. I'm not holding him. And that's a crazy thought because so many times I've felt like I'm just gonna cling onto Jesus with all that I have, with all my strength. I hope it's enough, cry out for grace that I won't let go when things get hard and that...

If I hold on to the Lord, He'll manage to get me to where I need to be. But that's actually not what the scripture says. It says He is the anchor that holds within the veil. He is holding me. He held Peter through being a mouthpiece for Satan and through denying him three times. He held Thomas through doubt and double-mindedness. And He held his own brother, James, through his unbelief until James...

could believe in Jesus after the resurrection. So what perfectionism costs us is the next thing we have to look at. Perfectionism steals our joy. It leads to burnout and anxiety. It hinders our obedience because we wait for perfect conditions to be used. And that's one that always caused me to get stuck.

because the Lord would say, "Okay, Cecily, it's time to move out and blah, blah." And I would wait until I felt completely equipped and ready before I obeyed. But that's not what God said, is it? God said, "Go in this direction," knowing that I didn't have what it took yet, but also knowing that he was going to give me those things along the way. Perfectionism is also rooted in self-focus rather than God-focus.

Cecily Lachapelle (09:37.711)

So where do we find freedom from perfectionism? Well, freedom comes by grace and understanding that God invites us to live by grace, not by performance. Ephesians 2:8 - 9 is the awesome scripture for this. It says, it is by grace that you have been saved through faith, not by works, so that no one can boast. Grace allows us to try and fail and grow.

and rest in His love, even when we fall short. So now let's pause for a little reflection. What about you? Are you constantly striving to be perfect and that perfectionism being driven by fear? Are you afraid of what might happen if you let people see your imperfections? What might God be inviting you to lay down in this season?

If you lay down the burden of perfectionism and you pick up the freedom of grace, what would your life look like?

I invite you, I invite you to ask the Lord to show you where fear is masquerading as perfection in your life. Write down one area where you've been striving to be perfect. One area, just start with one and then pray over it, surrendering it to Jesus. If you journal, which I highly recommend that you do, open up a two-way dialogue with the Holy Spirit and let him

peel back the covers on how perfectionism began in your life and why and what the Lord wants to replace it with. Speak this truth out loud. God doesn't expect me to be perfect. He invites me to be present, honest, and faithful." Let's say that again. God doesn't expect me to be perfect. He invites me to be present, honest, and faithful."

Cecily Lachapelle (11:45.761)

Yes, thank you so much everybody. I just wanna bless you all in the name of Jesus. And I pray that this podcast on perfectionism, I just wanna thank you all so much for tuning in today for this episode of the Higher Pursuit Podcast. I know it was a quick little nugget on perfectionism, but there were some work.

Thank you so much for tuning in today for this episode of the Higher Pursuit Podcast. I know it was a quick little nugget on perfectionism, but I pray that you're gonna meditate on it this week, that you're going to have some takeaways, and that you're going to really do some business with the Lord to get free from the fear of perfectionism. And before we sign off, I want to encourage you to share this message on social media so that other people can benefit.

And if you haven't already, please subscribe to this podcast wherever you're listening to it, because that helps the algorithm. It helps other people like you be able to find the podcast. And whether that is on Apple or Spotify or on YouTube, and also join my email list on my website, higherpursuitministries.com, so you can receive my newsletter and my blog and also get your copy.

Cecily Lachapelle (13:17.688)

Before we sign off, I want to encourage you to share this message on social media so that other people, before we sign off, I want to encourage you to share this message on social media so others can benefit. And if you haven't already, subscribe to this podcast wherever you're listening to it, whether that's Spotify, Apple podcasts, or on YouTube. And also join my email list on my website, higherpursuitministries.com.

so you can receive my newsletter and my blog and also make sure to get your copy of my book, Repurpose Your Pain. The book is also available on Amazon or from your local bookstore. Friends, we're on a pursuit of more of Jesus together. None of us have arrived, but my goal for this podcast is always to offer you something nourishing that will strengthen, encourage and challenge you as you pursue Jesus in your messy everyday life.

So until next time, know this, you are fully loved even in your mess. Keep walking in grace. Amen.