Navigating Indecision with Faith and Purpose with Lauren Black | Part 1

Podcast Summary:
Do you overthink every decision? Feel paralyzed trying to choose the “right” path? You’re not alone—and you don’t have to stay stuck.

In this episode of The Higher Pursuit Podcast, Cecily Lachapelle sits down with decision coach Lauren Black to unpack what’s really behind our indecision—and how to break free from it. Lauren shares how her personal struggle with overthinking led her to create the SAIL method, a decision-making framework that weaves together self-awareness, faith, and intentional reflection.

You’ll hear why perfectionism, fear, and external expectations are sabotaging your clarity—and how prayer and journaling can become powerful tools to navigate your next move with confidence. This conversation will encourage you to trust God more deeply as you face both big life choices and everyday crossroads.

👣 If you’ve been feeling stuck, hesitant, or overwhelmed by decisions, this episode will help you step forward in faith.

📖 Cecily also shares from her book Repurpose Your Pain—available now on her website and Amazon—with even more tools to move from stuck to surrendered.

🎧 Listen now, then share this episode with a friend who needs fresh confidence to move forward.

Connect with Lauren: 

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/anchoreddecisions

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/anchoreddecisions

Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/anchoreddecisions

Takeaways: 

• The SAIL Method Offers a Faith-Based Framework for Overthinkers
• Indecision Is Often Rooted in Fear, Perfectionism, and Overwhelm
• Faith and Prayer Are Key to Gaining Clarity
• Journaling Deepens Focus, Prayer, and Clarity
• Clarity Comes from Aligning Choices with Values and Purpose

Keywords: decision making, coaching, faith, journaling, fear, perfectionism, Christian women, indecision, personal growth, prayer, decision-making, SAIL method, personal growth, journaling, faith, self-awareness, impact, decision coach, Christian women, overcoming indecision

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Repurposing Our Pain
• 2:49 Lauren's Journey to Decision Coaching
• 5:57 The Struggles of Indecision
• 9:01 Fear and Perfectionism in Decision Making
• 12:14 The Role of Faith in Decision Making
• 15:05 Journaling as a Tool for Clarity
• 18:01 Connecting with God Through Prayer and Journaling
• 24:31 Divine Interruptions and Personal Documentation

Transcript

Cecily Lachapelle (00:01.285)
Hi everybody and welcome to the Higher Pursuit podcast. We are so glad that you joined us. And if you're looking for content that will encourage you, that will build you up in your pursuit of Jesus and sometimes challenge you, then you've tuned into the right podcast. The series that we're in right now is called Repurposing Our Pain. And today I am joined by an amazing guest, Lauren Black. Lauren is

self-professed as the world's biggest over-thinker turned decision coach all by the grace of God. After years of struggling with indecision and failing to find an effective decision-making system, Lauren drew on her experience as a brand strategist to craft her own decision-making framework that she calls the SAIL method. Her process is rooted in integrating your personality, your preferences,

your passions, your priorities, all wrapped in prayer. Lauren's framework is the cornerstone of her one-to-one decision coaching, strategic decision guides, and not to mention the Anchored Decisions show. Lauren's mission is clear, empowering Christian women to make confident decisions, take decisive action, and live with purpose. So welcome, Lauren.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (01:23.982)
Hi, thank you so much for having me.

Cecily Lachapelle (01:26.489)
I'm so excited. I think it's so neat how God connects people because I discovered your podcast, and therefore you, on a Facebook group that we're both a part of. I don't even remember which one it was. It's a Christian podcasters group, and I think I might have commented on some posts that you made or something. And then I noticed that you were asking people to participate in a prayer challenge in January.

So I reached out to you because I think I was like late to the party to sign up to be one of your facilitators. You were asking people to create a, what did you call it? What did you call those people?

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (02:07.98)
Yeah, the prayer leaders.

Cecily Lachapelle (02:09.819)
Prayer leaders, yes. And so I had offered to be a part of it, but the slot that you thought was open was actually already full. But I just thought, I'm gonna be a part of this anyway, because this is such a great, great thing to be a part of. And then lo and behold, one of your prayer leaders couldn't fulfill their slot. So you reached out and asked if I would do it. And I jumped in to do that. And then we just got chatting and decided that we would swap podcast interviews. So.

Here we are. I am so excited.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (02:40.778)
Yes, yes, I loved having you on my show. Your story just was so inspiring. And so yeah, thanks for having me on yours.

Cecily Lachapelle (02:49.359)
Thank you. So if you haven't seen it, I was on Lauren's podcast and she'll she can give us an idea of when that's going to air. But I was talking about the decision that I struggled with for two years that I've talked about on this show about leaving my corporate job to step out into the nothingness of ministry, feeling kind of like Abraham when God said, just get up and leave here and and go.

And Abraham says, okay, great. Where are we going? And God says, well, I will give you more information when you get up and go. So that was, that was really kind of what we discussed and it was so fun to chat with you. You have an amazing podcast and we're going to be giving information about how you all can connect with Lauren. And I know by the end of this podcast, you're going to want to check out her information, her podcast, her resources, her coaching, because all of us hit

parts of our lives where the road seems murky. We know we've hit a fork in the road and for some reason we're either just not sure which way to go or we're struck with fear to actually make that important decision. So that's what we're going to talk about today. But first of all, Lauren, I have a weather question to ask you. You're in Florida. I'm in New England.

What is the temperature going to be where you are today? I can't even.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (04:21.55)
Probably around 90. It's been hot. This is April for those who don't know when we're recording. So it's been in like the 89, 90 range. You walk outside and you're starting to sweat. Even in the early morning and late at night, there's no break. It's already getting to be summer.

Cecily Lachapelle (04:38.331)
Oh my gosh, I'm just, like I almost wanna just stop this right now because I can't even stand how envious I am. I am so over winter, so over it. And technically we're in spring and it's gonna be, excuse me, a balmy 42 degrees here. 42 degrees. I can't even stand it. All right, well, let's get into our content. You describe yourself as the world's biggest over thinker turned decision coach.

Can you take us back to the moment when you realized that your struggle with decision making was actually holding you back?

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (05:16.852)
Yes, so little backstory. I started my own business. My first business is graphic design and I still do that business to this day, but it's not my primary business. It's not my end goal. I found that as a solo designer, I was burning out and I either needed to hire a team.

to help with some of the design load, hire a marketing team to fill up my schedule because I'd be in that feast or famine mode where I'd fill up my roster with clients, stop marketing myself so I could do the work, and then when I finished those projects, I'd have no clients and I'd have to market myself again. And it just wasn't sustainable. I'm like, need something else. I need some passive income or someone to help in some way. So I turned to God in prayer and my, know, kind of

Cecily Lachapelle (05:44.059)
Yeah, I got that.

Cecily Lachapelle (05:57.06)
Yeah.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (06:06.19)
reverse engineering skills that I use with my design clients. I'm like, okay, I'm gonna use this on myself and see what's needed, what's best for me, where are my past skills and my strengths. And so as I'm journaling and praying through this and working out the best option, God laid it on my heart to design workbooks for Christian women. And so I got a hook side and I'm like, okay, I've got a direction. But then I kind of took it my own way and you know,

Cecily Lachapelle (06:17.103)
Mmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (06:32.908)
Ha ha!

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (06:33.836)
blew it up into something that it was never meant to be. God told me to make them for Christian women. I'm like, I could serve so many more people if I serve everyone and then I'll just throw in some Bible verses here and there and evangelize to people through my business, which some businesses are meant to do that. My calling was not that. So I was trying to figure out some side gig. I also had a graphic designer group where a Facebook group that was thriving with a partner that we were trying to help

Cecily Lachapelle (06:42.523)
Gosh.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (07:03.906)
graphic designers, especially those who are self-taught, to grow their design businesses. And then I had a blog for Christian women and I started all sorts of side gigs and never really gave any one of them enough time and commitment to take off. And even with my graphic design business, I kept changing the type of clients that I wanted to work with and the type of work that I wanted to do. Like, okay, I'm gonna do...

Cecily Lachapelle (07:09.253)
Yeah.

Ha

Cecily Lachapelle (07:19.831)
Lauren Black | Decision Coach (07:30.718)
web and social media graphics. Now I want to do branding. Now I want to do websites. And so I was constantly flip-flopping. None of my businesses and the ideas that I had were taking off. And so finally, you a few years later after having two kids and kind of just having my graphic design business, I felt God calling me back to those workbooks for Christian women. And

I was like, God, I am not going to step forward into this until you give me a topic. Because the last time I had tried to make workbooks for Christian women, I had marketing workbooks and find your path and purpose workbooks and content planning workbooks. And the umbrella over it was just not clear. And so it didn't allow me to be able to market in a good way. It was confusing messaging for people. And I didn't really have any one set thing that I helped people with.

Cecily Lachapelle (08:01.691)
Mmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (08:11.324)
my gosh.

Cecily Lachapelle (08:17.499)
Mm.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (08:24.566)
And so I said, God, I can't keep doing this where I'm flip-flopping my mind. I have kids now and my time is way too short. I didn't have childcare full time. And so was like, I can't keep doing this. And that is when I realized the indecision was what was holding me back from all these businesses, from any one thing taking off. And so a couple months later after praying and praying, actually, I think it was about six months of praying over God, what direction, what's

Cecily Lachapelle (08:24.975)
Wow.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (08:54.444)
What am I helping people with because I can't just keep flip-flopping? And God laid it on my heart that you are gonna help people with decisions. And I protested. I was like, God, I am the worst at making decisions. And he said, that's exactly why you need this. You need this for you and you need to help others that are like you to overcome their indecision.

Cecily Lachapelle (09:01.775)
Mmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (09:06.075)
haha

Cecily Lachapelle (09:10.394)
Mmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (09:16.633)
That is awesome. So I hope you guys heard a couple things that Lauren just dropped. First of all, what I heard was that the thing that is her weakness is the very thing that God is going to use for her ministry to help other people because as she has taken this ground of learning how to become a better decision maker, is so passion, it's such a passion for her because she was so stuck.

an indecision that a ministry was born out of that. So literally the thorn in her flesh became the very revelation that God is using to help a bunch of us. The other thing that I heard is that she's a highly gifted person. She's entrepreneurial, she's creative.

She's trained, she can do graphic design, she can do decision making, she can plan content, she can take something, a project, from A to Z. From the actual, don't even have any customers, to a finished product being in someone's hands. That is a rare person. And so there are some of you who are listening to this, you are almost over-gifted. And the problem with that is that there are so many lanes you can run in.

and it makes it even harder to choose what lane to run in. Because if you're a one trick pony, that's a no brainer. But when we have training in multiple areas and when we have giftedness in multiple areas, it's actually harder to choose, I think. And what do you think about, Do you find that that makes it even more challenging?

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (11:01.1)
Absolutely. Even in general decision making, there was a study done where they brought to a market 24 jams and put them out for people to sample and to buy. And the 24 jams had tons of people interested, but not that many people purchased. When they put out six jams, they maybe didn't create as much buzz and attract as many people to the booth to try the jams.

Cecily Lachapelle (11:24.571)
you

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (11:30.018)
but they had way more sales because there were less options to choose from. So when you have so many options, just as like you said, when you're multi-passionate, it's harder to narrow down and make a decision.

Cecily Lachapelle (11:32.269)
wow.

Cecily Lachapelle (11:44.475)
Oh my gosh, well that answers some things. That answers some things. Wow, that's amazing. So I feel like at least in my life, fear has often played a major role in keeping me stuck in the gate. I've known a decision needs to be made, or sometimes I've even known what the decision is. And I'm just wondering if you could talk to that, like what are specific fears that kept you from making or sticking to decisions throughout your life?

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (12:14.102)
Yes, so I think I had a lot of fear around each different aspect had fear. when I had fear of choosing one thing and neglecting something else that I was passionate about that, okay, if I take this direction, am I ever going to design again? And then I had my biggest fear was fear of failure.

Cecily Lachapelle (12:18.907)
Mm.

Cecily Lachapelle (12:32.068)
Right?

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (12:36.774)
and fear of disappointing myself and looking like a flaked or a failure to others. And I know our identity shouldn't be planted in that, but it's still a struggle for me a lot of times that, yeah. And a fear of not living up to the expectations set in my family. I know I have siblings, I'm one of five, and three of them have...

Cecily Lachapelle (12:37.445)
Come on,

Cecily Lachapelle (12:44.197)
man.

Cecily Lachapelle (12:50.799)
Yeah, the struggle is real.

Cecily Lachapelle (13:01.563)
Mmm.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (13:03.54)
a master's or higher degree. And everybody, we've got an engineer, a physical therapist, that's a doctorate of physical therapy. We've got a physician's assistant and a speech therapist. So all these high level, high achieving people. And then here's me with these businesses that keep flopping and that I can't make up my mind long enough to have one take off. And even other decisions in my life, like when we were deciding whether or not to have kids, when...

you know, my sisters were all getting pregnant. And every time someone would ask me like, are you guys ready? I'd have a different answer. And, know, even with buying houses, we'd go to meet with a realtor and get cold feet. We backed out of an offering that we went to put an offer in on. And, you know, every little thing in my life was just fear of, am I making the wrong choice? I think that was the biggest one that I was afraid to commit to anyone.

Cecily Lachapelle (13:43.003)
Yes.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (14:00.482)
because I didn't want it to be the wrong choice.

Cecily Lachapelle (14:03.547)
Do you feel like perfectionism plays a part in that? Because I know it does for me.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (14:08.926)
Absolutely, because yeah, that's a huge part of that fear of making the wrong choice because we want it to be the perfect choice every time.

Cecily Lachapelle (14:15.653)
Right, yes, yeah. I actually have affirmations that I have written probably over the last 25 years and I'm just continually adding to them. And one of the ones that is sort of near the top is that I tell myself that successful people enjoy making mistakes because they know...

that they learn through every mistake and there's not one highly successful person who got to where they are without making lots of mistakes. And that might seem like, well, duh, doesn't everybody know that? Well, yeah, I think we know that on a cognitive level, but on a heart level, that's not the way we wanna live. At least not me. I want to live from glory to glory, from perfect decision to perfect decision, from...

perfect situation to even more perfect situation. And the whole idea of it's actually part of my purpose to make some bad decisions and learn from them, it makes me want to kind of throw up in the back of my mouth.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (15:20.494)
Yeah, well, yeah, it's like against our human nature to settle for things and to go against what's comfortable because a lot of times the scary and the perfectionism, like we're just afraid of not being comfortable. And we like what we're used to. We like the stability of the same old, same old.

Cecily Lachapelle (15:25.498)
Yeah.

Cecily Lachapelle (15:31.93)
Yeah.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (15:46.33)
and we want to only move forward, at least us perfectionists, if we can do something that we know is comfortably perfect.

Cecily Lachapelle (15:54.457)
Yes, yes, and that's why I didn't want to leave my corporate job. Because I was good at it, I was compensated well for it, and I received almost on a daily basis that affirmation that I thrive on. People saying, gosh, Cecily, we couldn't do this without you, or my boss is saying, you saved my bacon, and this is amazing, and...

You I couldn't travel without you or gosh, I couldn't keep up with all that I do without, I I feed on that. Being needed and doing it well. And so that made leaving that to go into the unknown incredibly difficult. So let's get back to you. Was there a particular moment or a season that was the wake up call for you? And what did that look like?

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (16:44.514)
Yeah, I think that's parenting. You know, I had such little amount of time to dedicate to my business and then I started feeling guilty that, okay, if I've put all this time into building different businesses that have not taken off in the way that I wanted them to, then I could have just stayed at my corporate job for longer and had a lot more money to contribute and then.

Cecily Lachapelle (16:47.163)
Mmm.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (17:09.878)
quit and stayed home with the kids fully instead of splitting my time. There's a lot of mom guilt involved, but it was, yeah, once I had kids that I'm like, okay, time's too precious. I can't keep wasting it. I can't not succeed at this point because otherwise I would have spent my kids' early years all in vain.

Cecily Lachapelle (17:16.283)
Hello?

Cecily Lachapelle (17:32.825)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And how did your faith in the Lord help you navigate through that, the pain and the fear of making the decisions that you were making?

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (17:45.836)
Yeah, well, I think back in the day of my indecision, I would pray over something and pray for a decision, but not really that hard. You know, I didn't really journal my prayers back then as much, and I would just like say a prayer as I'm falling asleep at night. And I wasn't listening for God. I wasn't active in trying to seek out his direction.

Cecily Lachapelle (17:57.307)
Mm.

Cecily Lachapelle (18:01.019)
Come on.

Cecily Lachapelle (18:04.901)
Hmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (18:11.461)
Say that.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (18:11.874)
And yeah, finally, my sister, during COVID, my sister was going through this Bible study that was called Draw the Circle. And it was this prayer book, Draw the Circle, and so you pray over something for 40 days, the same thing. And so she felt a calling from God in the middle of that. And so I'm like, well, I need to do that. And while I didn't get a calling,

during that time, because part of me was just doing the study so I could get a calling just like her instead of to actually just connect with God deeper. But that taught me the power of journaling and how to really focus on the same item even if you don't hear from God day one and how to keep bringing it to the feet of Jesus. And so now my relationship with God related to decisions is completely different.

Cecily Lachapelle (18:42.939)
Yeah.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (19:06.094)
you know, the closer you are to God, the better you'll be with your decision making. And I've gotten to the point where there are some things I go to pray over a decision and I instantly know exactly what I need to do. And that's partly from my decision making framework and the foundation I've set there. But then it's also just knowing my father's voice, knowing those nudges. And even with that prayer challenge that you mentioned that you were a part of at the beginning of the year,

Cecily Lachapelle (19:18.629)
Mm-hmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (19:27.122)
Mm. Yeah.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (19:36.128)
I got called to that in the middle of December. I was working on a client graphic design project and God laid it on my heart. 30 days of prayer for the new year. And so I just got out a piece of paper and I scribbled it down real quick. I'm like, okay, what does this mean? What, like, how am going to execute this? And at first I went to stop and pray over it because I was like, okay, well, I don't want to be just another flip-flopper and jumping on every idea like I used to in the past. So I've gotten more cautious.

before I just jump on something that comes to my head. But I knew at that point, this was from God. This was not just one of my thoughts. I would not have come up with that thought in the middle of doing a design project for someone. And like this had to have been from God. And I knew his voice so well that I was able to jump on it. And I saw so much fruit from that challenge and that I knew that was from God.

Cecily Lachapelle (20:05.051)
Mm-hmm.

That's good.

Cecily Lachapelle (20:25.807)
Hmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (20:29.273)
Yes. So I want to go back to something, a couple of things that you said. First of all, you mentioned how journaling really helped you fine tune your ability to hear the voice of God. I found that in my own life. I write about it in the book and in my book, Repurpose Your Pain, there are journaling exercises all throughout. In each chapter, I have a section called press pause where we just, I just kind of like,

hit the breaks right in the middle of the chapter and we're like, okay, we need to stop right here. We need to press pause and we need to do some metacognitive thinking, thinking about what we're thinking about and get out a journal and start writing what you're feeling right now and let God begin to speak to you. And then we'll proceed with the rest of the chapter. But then in the activations at the back of the book, which is where the workbook is, there are all tons of journaling and note taking exercises.

I literally, I would die on the hill of journaling. I think that that is such an important thing. So I'm always excited when somebody agrees with me about that. talk to me about how that helped you hear the voice of God.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (21:37.431)
Yes!

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (21:42.154)
Yes, well I think journaling does a few things. One, it helps you focus. So if I'm just praying in my head, a lot of times I'll start thinking about my kids and what activities we have going on that day or my grocery list or my brain just wanders. We are women. We tend to do that. And so the journaling part first and foremost helps you focus because you're not going to just start rambling with your writing and start writing out your to do. I mean, some people might, you might.

Cecily Lachapelle (21:58.681)
Mm-hmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (22:07.919)
Yes.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (22:10.42)
get distracted and turn to a different page and write out your to-do list. But for the most part, you're focused. And then second, writing opens our brain to a different kind of, I don't even know how to describe it. I wish I knew the psychology terms behind it. But it opens your brain to creativity and other thinking than what you just do in your head. And so as you're putting pen to paper and I...

Cecily Lachapelle (22:26.619)
Mm.

Cecily Lachapelle (22:31.983)
Yes.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (22:35.118)
My whole, the one business that I started was all about journaling basically your marketing ideas and journaling, you know, I had these workbooks. So all of them are meant to be written out. I didn't want people doing them digitally. I said, do these with pen and paper because it'll unlock different parts of your brain to allow you to think, you know, differently. And so when you're talking with God through that, you're more intentional with the things that you're saying. And then

Cecily Lachapelle (22:51.259)
Mm-hmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (22:58.491)
tests.

Cecily Lachapelle (23:03.354)
Mm-hmm.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (23:05.018)
often will pause and just kind of listen and you know sometimes I'm journaling something and something comes to my brain that I write down I'm like that wasn't me that was from God and so then you have documentation that you can go back and look at what God said to you how he spoke things that you're like that clearly was not me because I wouldn't have come up with that on my own and you can see how he's answered your prayers and so it encourages your faith

Cecily Lachapelle (23:14.745)
Right. Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (23:23.364)
Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (23:28.165)
Yes.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (23:32.65)
and really just connects you deeper to the Father.

Cecily Lachapelle (23:36.155)
Absolutely, absolutely. So I have gobs of journals in every shape, size, and color because I've been journaling for, I don't know, I've been saved for 40 years. So pretty much that whole time. And I know a number of those years the journals are gone, but I have so many of them. And so one time I decided to go back and put one of those like little Post-It flags on every page.

where God spoke something to me, that it wasn't just me communicating to God. And I noticed a pattern. I noticed that in seasons where I had to make a big decision or decisions were happening around me that were impacting my life and I felt out of control about those decisions or times when I was really emotionally broken.

and the Lord knew that I needed a word that he interrupted in the most gracious, loving way, interrupted my thought process to speak something to me. And Lauren, you are absolutely right when you say, then we have documentation because one of my projects that I have for down the road at some point is I would love to take all of those posted flags and write them out so that I have my own book.

of all of the things that God has said to me, in chronological order, because what I'm noticing is that things that God is saying to me are getting more and more more specific, because I am able now to hear his voice on a more clear level, and those directions are invaluable, invaluable, and I...

I highly recommend that. And I agree with you also about the fact that journaling unlocks a part of our brain and our focus. I am a very bounce around thought process person and my mind can jump like whack-a-mole from one thing to the next to the next. And that's probably one of the main reasons I never really put it together. So I'm so glad you said that. But I think that does force my mind.

Cecily Lachapelle (25:58.863)
to stay focused on the scripture that I'm writing about or the concern, the prayer requests that I'm writing or just his presence. And so I think that that's outstanding. I love that. So let's talk about the sale method and anchor decisions. And so at what point did you realize the process that you were developing for yourself could help others? Or did you know that right from the start?

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (26:26.67)
Well, that was part of the calling. When God gave me the theme of helping people with decisions, he was like, you need this for you. And there are other overthinkers like you that need this as well. So all along I knew that this was the framework I needed to build. And funny story, at one point I had listened to a podcast. This was way before getting into decision-making. I listened to a podcast that said three steps to better decision-making. And I was like, yes, I need this. So I got out my pen and paper.

Cecily Lachapelle (26:33.435)
Hmm.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (26:56.644)
was ready to take notes and the girl goes, step one, decide. Step two, commit. And I was like, wait, go back to step one. Like not everyone can just decide. Like that's what I need the most help with. And so I was like, I need to create a framework that helps those with my brain to be able to make that decision confidently and feel good about it.

Cecily Lachapelle (27:03.705)
Wait. What? Decide.

Cecily Lachapelle (27:22.885)
Yeah.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (27:23.15)
And so that is how I came up with the SAIL method, and that's S-A-I-L. And I don't know if you want me to dive into the acronym and what it stands for. Okay. So the S-A is your self-awareness. That's the foundation, as I had mentioned, the passions, your personality, your preferences, priorities. So you really have to know yourself well in order to make decisions. And I found that, well, if you ask someone, hey, do you know yourself?

Cecily Lachapelle (27:31.151)
Yes, please, go for it.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (27:51.372)
People will be like, of course I know myself. But when you sit down and think, okay, if you have this option A that conflicts with this option B that you thought were both priorities, which one do you choose? And that's what makes some of those really tough decisions so hard because we've got these conflicting priorities that we thought were both a top priority. So you really have to get to know yourself. And what is the order of your priorities? What do you really care about?

Cecily Lachapelle (28:04.539)
Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (28:10.981)
Mm-hmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (28:19.919)
Yes.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (28:20.918)
And what are your long-term goals, desires, passions, so that you're not just living for what feels good in the moment, but you're looking at the repercussions of your decisions and how they'll play out long-term. So that self-awareness is just the foundation. Really get to know yourself well before moving on to the I, which is impact. So you want to look at how does this decision impact different areas, key areas in your life?

Cecily Lachapelle (28:28.335)
Mm-hmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (28:34.491)
Health.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (28:50.038)
So we look at financially, relationally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. And you want to make sure you can check off all of those boxes to make sure that things make sense and just be aware. Sometimes we might think through some of the finances, but you don't look at the long-term repercussions or what all it affects. know, buying an older house, you might look at the character of the house and say, it's so cozy. It's so nice.

Cecily Lachapelle (29:02.971)
well.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (29:19.714)
but there might be a lot more maintenance issues with a lot older of a house than a new house. And so there's things that down the line, you wanna make sure that you've got all those finances calculated out and that you're not just guessing. Sometimes we might think, well, if I go back to work, you know, and I've got little ones at home that I'll just put them in childcare, but sometimes childcare is more expensive than what you'd be bringing in. And so financially, it might not make sense.

Cecily Lachapelle (29:25.819)
Mm.

Cecily Lachapelle (29:45.583)
right?

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (29:47.894)
So you really want to take a good look at those impact zones, get a reality check, and just be aware, even if it's something that it might be an obstacle you're willing to overcome. It might not be a non-negotiable make or break thing, but you need to be aware of it, and you need to look back at that self-awareness foundation and say, okay, am I willing to overcome this? Am I willing to put up with the emotional stress of

that option. then finally, some people actually come up with their decision in the SA and I section because you've laid that foundation, it becomes clear. But for those really tough decisions and those who are extremely over thinkers, then you rely on the L and that is your litmus test. So the final test is to look at your top priorities and be able to evaluate each option

Cecily Lachapelle (30:18.39)
Mmm, that's good.

Cecily Lachapelle (30:28.664)
Mm-mm.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (30:45.902)
according to how it best fits your priorities. And I have a whole weighted decision scorecard that calculates a numerical score for you based off of what you put value to. And so that way, people who tend to overthink can see, I scored a 600 in this one and a 400 in that one. Obviously, according to what's important to me, this one hits it better, even though sometimes, and that's when we like to go back.

Cecily Lachapelle (30:55.225)
awesome.

Cecily Lachapelle (31:12.091)
That's awesome.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (31:15.232)
on our decisions because we start to question ourselves. Like, that really the better option? But I'm gonna miss this about that option. And so when we can go through the proper steps of this framework and come up with our priority list and figure out which one is that best option, that helps us then cling to the reasons we chose it and be able to stand firm in what's best for us.

Cecily Lachapelle (31:20.059)
Mm.

Cecily Lachapelle (31:24.965)
Right, right.

Cecily Lachapelle (31:39.941)
So good.

love that. So you encourage people to invite God into their decision-making process. So how and when does that part happen?

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (31:52.148)
Yes, so that's actually the kind of prerequisite to the sale method. And I start my workbooks off saying, you know, do not even open this until you have prayed through your decision. Like some people might not even need the sale method framework because God might reveal it to you in the prayer time. Now, often God gives us the decision to choose and that's when the framework comes in handy. But prayer should always be the first step.

Cecily Lachapelle (32:13.178)
Yeah.

Cecily Lachapelle (32:17.211)
Yeah.

now.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (32:21.952)
And then throughout, and even all of my workbooks, when God called me to help Christian make decisions, I'm like, I can't separate God out of these workbooks because he's a part of every single part of that. And so even the impact zone of spiritually, you know, how does this align with the Bible and the word of God? And, you know, is this moral? Is this spiritually aligned with God's callings for you and your life?

Cecily Lachapelle (32:33.787)
Mm.

Mm-hmm.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (32:49.782)
and not looking at what others' expectations are of you, but looking at what God has laid out for you.

Cecily Lachapelle (32:49.988)
Right?

Cecily Lachapelle (32:54.191)
Duh.

Do you think that that one right there, what you just said, the expectations of other people, do you think that that is a really big struggle amongst Christian women? Or is it just Christians men, women, or, I mean, who do you think struggles with that the most? Because I know that one hits me often.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (33:18.732)
Yeah, you know what, I feel like men and women probably have a very similar struggle, but in different ways. Men have this expectation that they set for themselves and that culture kind of sets that they need to be the breadwinner and they need to be the supportive father and whatnot. And so a lot of times they go off of that expectation for what job they should take and what position that they look.

Cecily Lachapelle (33:26.543)
Yeah.

Cecily Lachapelle (33:34.682)
Mmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (33:45.85)
Yeah.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (33:47.306)
mostly at finances and status. so women have a different struggle where we might not look at the finances and the status of it. I sometimes that's a big part of it, but we also, we want to make sure we're fitting in culturally and that we're not letting down our siblings, our parents. Like I mentioned that before, that was a struggle of mine that, you know, I've got all these successful family members and

Cecily Lachapelle (33:50.573)
Right.

Cecily Lachapelle (33:58.907)
You have to, yeah.

Cecily Lachapelle (34:03.931)
Mm-hmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (34:09.7)
Yeah.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (34:14.998)
Here I am pursuing another business idea. it going to take off? Is it going to fail? And you know, am I fitting in culturally by doing this? And I even struggled for a long time, maybe two years when people would ask me, Hey, what do you do? And I would just completely ignore the decision coaching and I'd fall back to the default of I'm a graphic designer. And that's only 50 % of my story, but it was easier to explain and more culturally acceptable.

Cecily Lachapelle (34:17.861)
Yep.

Cecily Lachapelle (34:21.211)
Mm-hmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (34:37.369)
Yep.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (34:44.824)
than this weird position that most people haven't heard of, like what's a decision coach? So.

Cecily Lachapelle (34:45.2)
Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (34:49.371)
Yes, yes, and I'm experiencing that right now in where I am in my life. So written the book and that's great, but I'm developing the podcast. But I really sort of struggle when people say, so what do you do? Oh, I'm a minister, but I'm a podcaster, but I'm an author and I don't know.

I just kind of sit in my office and ask God what we're doing next. don't know. It's just there, and there are so many expectations. And I find that that has been, that's been a struggle. I wanted to ask you also about, once somebody has made a decision, there could be a period of time where it seems like or feels like they made the wrong decision.

How do you help people reframe that mindset or work through, are we at a waiting period to see whether things are gonna shake out or do we then have to go back to the blackboard, start all over and say, did I make a wrong decision here? If I did, where did I go wrong in that decision?

What are some of, how do you coach people with that?

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (36:20.256)
Yes. So the first thing that I do is that at the end of my workbooks or the end of working with me for making a decision is I have everybody write down the reasons why they made that choice. So you go back to that weighted decision scorecard, you go back to your preferences and priorities list and document why you made that decision. Because we will, when we are faced with someone questioning us, when we start questioning ourselves, when our heart and our head disagree,

Cecily Lachapelle (36:33.627)
Mmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (36:42.276)
Okay.

Cecily Lachapelle (36:46.811)
Okay.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (36:50.38)
we want to go change our mind or question like, wait, did I make the wrong decision? That's fear, fear's creeping back in. And so I've had to do this so many times with myself because one of my biggest, hardest decisions that I was like, okay, if I can create a workbook that helps me get through this, then I can help anyone was should we have a third kid? We have two boys and...

Cecily Lachapelle (36:50.64)
Yeah.

Cecily Lachapelle (36:54.842)
Mmm.

Come on.

Cecily Lachapelle (37:02.095)
Okay.

Cecily Lachapelle (37:10.542)
You

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (37:15.522)
You know, I would love a third, I would love a daughter, my husband is completely done. And so after going through certain things and writing out, know, going through my wholesale method and my decision-making guide, we have realized we are good at two. And I have to go back to the reasons why we are good at two over and over, like every month around my cycle.

Cecily Lachapelle (37:30.811)
Mmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (37:35.929)
Yes, I bet. Yeah.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (37:39.542)
I have to go back to that because baby fever starts sitting in and I start craving that like I need a girl. So that's one part is just clinging to the reasons and having them written down so that you can return to those. And then another kind of mindset shift you have to make is realize that other than life and death, most decisions are not permanent. You can reverse things. Now, if you leave your job, will you get that same exact job back?

Cecily Lachapelle (37:46.128)
Bye

Cecily Lachapelle (37:54.651)
Wow.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (38:09.246)
Not necessarily. My brother did it once, but once he left again, they're probably not gonna give it back a third time. But you could find a similar job for someone else, and who knows, it could be better. So people get this fear that like, if I leave this position, I'll never get another position like this, but that's not always true, and that is fear speaking to you once again. And so reset your framework to that, okay, most things, if you move away, you can move back.

Cecily Lachapelle (38:13.701)
Mm.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Right.

Cecily Lachapelle (38:28.975)
Yeah.

Mmm.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (38:36.564)
If you sell your house, there'll be more houses you can buy. And some of them do have consequences. If you sell in a buyer's market and then the economy crashes and you're buying in a seller's market, that's kind of, you you take a hit there financially, but that doesn't mean that that decision has to be final and forever. So, yeah.

Cecily Lachapelle (38:53.925)
Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (38:58.467)
Yeah, that's great advice. I love that. I'm actually going to do that with some decisions that I have made. I'm going to go back and rehearse what were my whys. I just bought this sticky whiteboard stuff that you can, it's like peel and stick. I had it when I was writing the book on the one entire wall of my office and I took

it down because there was a minute we thought we were going to sell our house. And then we changed our mind on that decision and decided we're not going to sell our house. So I had repainted my whole office and all that. So now the whiteboard, the sticky whiteboard is going back up because I'm a visual person. And sometimes to hash out decisions, I have to see it up on the board and I have to be able to erase things. And I just love that I can look over and be like, okay, yep, that's right.

or that's my direction and I also love crossing things off. It's very gratifying to cross things off my list. So I am going to put that sticky whiteboard back up and I'm gonna go back through my whys and cling to those. I love that. So what advice would you give to someone listening right now who feels paralyzed by indecision?

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (40:17.012)
Yes, so first turn to God and lay it at his feet, seek his direction, know, look at how it compares to what it says in the Bible. And certain things the Bible doesn't always lay out straight. It's not going to tell you, yes, you should marry Steve versus John, but there are other things. Okay. So the

Cecily Lachapelle (40:19.875)
Hmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (40:34.971)
I married John. So you can't have him, sorry.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (40:39.918)
The Bible might not, you know, directly give you, but maybe it would if someone opened up to the book of John and they're like, there it is, God, you told me I should marry John. But, you know, there could be certain things that if Steve is kind of sketchy in his finances with how he does his taxes and reporting things and how he conducts business, well, is that biblically aligned? No. So, you know, there could be things that might not be clearly written in the Bible that are.

other ways, you know, the Bible refers to. So just turning to God first and releasing the fears to him. And, sometimes even with that decision of, we have another baby or not? One of my friends was like, Lauren, half of these reasons that you have for stopping are just fear-based. And that's true, that sometimes God...

Cecily Lachapelle (41:28.795)
Wow.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (41:30.986)
will help you overcome those when you get to that point. It's like you with leaving your job without having a full plan of what's next for your ministry, God will provide those things as you go and he will give you the strength when you are aligned with him, when you have good motives that are not selfish ambition, but when you are pursuing things that are godly or God pleasing and

Cecily Lachapelle (41:39.248)
Yeah.

Cecily Lachapelle (41:52.955)
Mmm.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (41:59.902)
And then if you're still stuck, go through the sale method. I've got plenty of, I've got a blog post on it, my podcast talks about it, I've got my decision guides that go through it, and that will help you find clarity with confidence that you're aligned with God's will, but also choosing the best thing for you.

Cecily Lachapelle (42:13.796)
Awesome.

Cecily Lachapelle (42:17.743)
That is so great. Lauren, I wish we could keep talking. There is so much more that we could share. And I want to thank you so much for our discussion, for your great insights, your amazing story, and for adding so much value to all of us. I can just hear applause on the other side of the screen. So what can listeners expect when they tune into the Anchor Decision podcast? And then how can people connect with you and learn more about

all of your materials, your coaching, your content.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (42:48.618)
Yes, yes, so everything you can find, I'm at the handle Anchor Decisions. So my website, anchordecisions.com. My podcast is The Anchor Decisions Show, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, at Anchor Decisions. And yeah, for my, what you can expect is, wow, I'm losing my train of thought of what the question was.

Cecily Lachapelle (43:08.891)
Oh, what can people expect when they connect with you and how can they learn more about your coach decision-making resources? That's okay. It wasn't a lot of questions all at once.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (43:11.902)
when they, yes. yes, yes, sorry, blanked there. So yeah, and what they expect from the podcast too. So yeah, my podcast goes through people's real life decision stories. And then I also bring in experts on how to make decisions in their fields. So this week in April, while we're recording, I have two experts coming on about financial decisions.

Cecily Lachapelle (43:25.455)
Yep.

Lauren Black | Decision Coach (43:37.416)
and from a Christian perspective. And then just stories like yours of how you decided to quit your job to give people perspective and insight into what other people have done when facing fake decisions. And then I also just give different tips and psychology-based insight into how to become a better, more confident decision maker and just find your path and your purpose with God.

Cecily Lachapelle (43:37.539)
Nice!

Cecily Lachapelle (44:01.551)
That's awesome. Well, guys, remember, I am going to be posting all of Lauren's social media handles and all just all the ways you can connect with her in the show description. So make sure to share this interview on social media so other people can benefit. And if you haven't already, subscribe to this podcast wherever you're listening to it, whether that's Spotify, Apple podcasts, YouTube. And you can also join my email list on my website, which is higher pursuit ministries dot com.

And the podcast, as you know, is the Higher Pursuit podcast. If you could also just take about five seconds to scroll to the bottom of this podcast homepage and rate us, that helps us more than you can imagine. The algorithm actually needs to see ratings more than likes in order to promote our podcast to other listeners that are like you that would benefit from this content. And that's the main way that people discover new podcasts.

So thanks for taking the time to rate us. It really means a lot. Friends, we are on a pursuit of more of Jesus together. It is the best and the greatest pursuit of our life. And none of us have arrived, right? And my goal for this podcast is always to be offering you something nourishing that is gonna strengthen you, that's gonna edify you, it's gonna build you up, it's gonna give you clarity, and it's going to encourage you and even challenge you.

as you pursue Jesus in the middle of your messy everyday life. So until next time, everybody, may you walk in the favor of God and I will see you in the next podcast. God bless.

Cecily Lachapelle (45:46.506)
And stop.