Beyond Motherhood: True Identity (Pt 2)

Episode Summary:
In this powerful and transparent episode, Cecily sits down with author and speaker Megan Nilsen to explore the deep and often complicated journey of discovering our true identity in Christ. Through the lens of motherhood, adoption, and a life surrendered to God, Megan shares how journaling, prayer, and community have helped her break free from perfectionism, control, and the orphan spirit.

Together, Cecily and Megan unpack the burdens women often carry—especially as mothers—and how trusting in God’s love, seeking His presence daily, and walking in vulnerability can lead to spiritual transformation. Whether you’re feeling stuck in your purpose, wrestling with identity, or desiring deeper connection with God, this conversation will stir your faith and remind you of this truth: your value is rooted in being a beloved daughter of God—not in your performance.

Topics Covered:

• Identity in Christ vs. identity through roles
• The emotional and spiritual journey of adoption
• Letting go of control and embracing God's plan
• Journaling as a tool for hearing God's voice
• The healing power of community and authenticity

Connect with Megan.

Find her and all of her resources through Linktr.ee

Top 5 Takeaways:

1. Our True Identity is Found in Christ
   Understanding that we are daughters of God—deeply loved and valued not for what we do, but for who He says we are—is foundational for living with purpose and freedom.
   
   
2. Partnership with God Requires Trust and Surrender
   Trusting God means letting go of control, walking by faith even in uncertainty, and embracing His direction through the Holy Spirit.
   
   
3. God Uses Our Stories for His Glory
   Our messy journeys, when shared authentically, break generational chains, encourage others, and reveal the redemptive power of Jesus.
   
   
4. Community and Vulnerability Bring Healing
   We are designed to walk in relationship. Healing and growth come through honest connection with others in the body of Christ.
   
   
5. Daily Pursuit of God's Presence Transforms Us
   Spiritual renewal happens when we intentionally seek Jesus—through practices like journaling, listening for His voice, and living with sensitivity to His Spirit.

Cecily also shares from her book Repurpose Your Pain—available now on her website and

Transcript

Cecily Lachapelle (00:01.144)
Hello and welcome to the Higher Pursuit Podcast. I am so glad that you joined us. This is a podcast where we explore what it means to live a life of purpose, faith, and wholehearted pursuit of God. Each week we dive into real conversations that help you walk in your true identity and discover how God can repurpose every part of your story, even the painful parts, for your good and His glory.

Today, we're gonna be talking about repurposing a broken identity and more specifically, how our identity gets tangled up in motherhood. If you've ever felt lost in the roles that you carry, whether it's in motherhood or in your career or transitioning into an empty nest and wondered, who am I beyond what I do? Then this episode is for you. My guest today is Megan Nielsen.

She's a Kingdom Life Coach, an author, and a podcast host who helps Christian women hear God's voice, gain clarity, and step into their unique calling. Hallelujah. Through coaching, writing, and podcasting, Megan equips women to align their lives with Kingdom wisdom and live out their purpose with confidence and bold faith. She's passionate about helping others discover their true identity in Christ and take inspired

action to fulfill their God-given dreams. She's been married for nearly 30 years, is a mom to four growing adults, and believes that we all have a story to tell and a higher destiny to pursue. I'm so excited, Megan, to have you here. So thrilled. And just a little backstory on how Megan and I connected. So it was through a mutual podcast sister, Lauren Black.

who hosts the Anchored Decisions podcast and who has been on my show and I've been on her show and she's... Yeah. I love how that works. It's so great. This is the, think, my favorite part of podcasting is all the amazing women that I get to meet. I actually did a reel about it. Maybe it was like a week ago where I was reminded how there's a quote that says, be the smartest person in the room.

Megan Nilsen (02:03.766)
She's been on my show. I've been on her show. Now I'm on your show. Yeah.

Cecily Lachapelle (02:27.604)
And the old me with my old broken identity would have been seriously intimidated by all of these amazing women of God who are running in their lane with purpose, identity, direction, clarity, and they're miles ahead of where I am in all of those different arenas of speaking and writing and podcasting. I would have been seriously intimidated.

But now I'm just blessed. I'm just pinching myself going, this is so great. This is so awesome. So I just want to give Lauren a shout out, say thank you, Lauren, for connecting Megan and I. We do have so many things in common. And Megan, I've been listening to your podcast, Kingdom Life Coaching, and I've enjoyed every episode that I've heard so far. So I can completely see why you're a great coach.

Megan Nilsen (03:08.31)
Thank you, Lauren.

Megan Nilsen (03:25.49)
thank you. I'm so excited to be here. In fact, you just emailed me the other day with a sweet response and an encouragement about one of the interviews that you heard that kind of touched you in a specific heart place. So thanks. Yeah.

Cecily Lachapelle (03:36.022)
Yes, yes, it did. It was that interview you did with Aubrey. And you also sent out an email about your interview with Aubrey and how she had had such just a debilitating illness. And God just stepped in and turned her whole life around. But the part that brought me to tears, and we won't talk about it in detail just because of time, I'm not hiding anything, but was when she was discussing having ADD.

Megan Nilsen (03:50.816)
Mm-hmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (04:05.802)
And I have ADD and as she was describing her symptoms, just realized, I just started to weep and I realized, wow, I'm really exhausted. am really, ADD is exhausting. And while you're trying to run in your lane, it feels like your brain is fighting you. And so I'm excited to reach out to Aubrey and see how she's worked through some of that, but.

Megan Nilsen (04:12.108)
Mm.

Megan Nilsen (04:15.967)
Hmm.

Megan Nilsen (04:29.388)
Mm-hmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (04:33.752)
Well, let's turn this to a little lighthearted for one second before we dive into our conversation.

Megan Nilsen (04:36.392)
Okay, I just feel like say like your brain is how God made your brain and it's not it's it feels like it's fighting you but it's it's not your brain can't beat you right because you have Jesus and so I I'm just cheering you on and championing you and what you're doing because I could see why that lie would come in like this is too hard or this is too complicated or this is too I can't do that not for me for other people but not for me but clearly you're doing it

Cecily Lachapelle (04:45.398)
Yes, that's right.

Cecily Lachapelle (04:54.414)
Thank you.

Cecily Lachapelle (05:00.174)
Yeah.

Megan Nilsen (05:04.847)
and your brain is on board. So anyway, yeah.

Cecily Lachapelle (05:07.05)
Yes, yes, I say over myself all the time, I have the mind of Christ. I know that your thoughts are higher than my thoughts, Lord, but I think and feel like Jesus. I have the mind of Christ and my brain is functioning the way it should be. Amen, amen. So if you, my friend, were designing a coffee mug with either your favorite scripture or a quote, what would it say on it and what beverage would we find inside?

Megan Nilsen (05:11.978)
Yes, right, right.

Megan Nilsen (05:18.976)
Yeah. Yeah.

Okay.

Megan Nilsen (05:36.894)
my gosh, a coffee mug. Well, I don't know. I don't know about a quote. I do collect Starbucks mugs, by the way. In fact, just the other day I said to my husband, Starbucks is so smart. They have the best marketing campaign is everywhere I've gone around the world. I have to get that mug. So I absolutely love a mug that reminds me of a place of a memory.

Cecily Lachapelle (05:38.463)
Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (05:48.407)
Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (06:00.406)
Yes.

Megan Nilsen (06:01.684)
So I think my mug was, I mean, one of my favorite verses is have Habakkuk two, two, right? Write the vision, make it plain so that those who read it can run with it. And that's just one of my all time life versus probably for obvious reasons as a writer podcast or whatever. And inside it, I would definitely have coffee. My husband and I bought, we went together on our birthday gift last year, cause our birthdays are close in the year.

Cecily Lachapelle (06:21.667)
you

Megan Nilsen (06:29.066)
And we bought like a little espresso machine where we can grind our own beans and froth our own milk of whatever kind. And so that's in my coffee mug every day for sure. So good.

Cecily Lachapelle (06:37.998)
Isn't that so great? Homemade lattes. I used to work at Starbucks and now I just love driving by and being like, you know what? I'm not paying $8 for a latte as a customer now. I am going home. Come on. Yes. Absolutely. Absolutely. Well, we are on the same page in bad beverage for sure. All right. Well, I read your fancy bio.

Megan Nilsen (06:49.068)
I just make it at home. I'll pay $16 for a mug, but I'm not paying eight bucks for a latte.

Cecily Lachapelle (07:04.692)
But tell me, who are you today? Share something with us that your bio doesn't tell.

Megan Nilsen (07:05.196)
can't see.

Megan Nilsen (07:11.004)
my goodness. What does my bio not tell? Probably all the real raw stuff. I just feel like I'm an ordinary person who loves God a whole lot and I want to be an open vessel for him. So I just want to wake up every day and be like, okay, God, what are we doing today? So I think what defines me as an entrepreneur is a creativity. I love running my own show.

Cecily Lachapelle (07:13.858)
Mm-hmm

Cecily Lachapelle (07:20.735)
Mmm. Love it.

Megan Nilsen (07:40.886)
having my own, like freedom means a lot to me. And I remember when I did some career counseling, like decades ago, that was one of the main things that came out of it was like, if I'm kind of penned in by other people's like expectations and their timeframe, I just get fidgety. So ever since the Lord brought me to this vocation, which we can go into that at any point, but I've been doing this more on a professional level, like five years now.

Cecily Lachapelle (07:44.814)
Mmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (07:57.112)
Mm-hmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (08:06.541)
Yes.

Megan Nilsen (08:11.18)
And age and stage certainly plays into it. My kids, as you said, are kind of growing and flying the coop. I am more settled in my own skin, but I love the freedom of being able to create with the Lord and kind of orchestrate my days for my best health and my best routine and joy.

Cecily Lachapelle (08:31.812)
That is so great. Well, why don't we just segue into what you are doing and who you serve through that.

Megan Nilsen (08:38.412)
Yeah, I will definitely go back if you don't mind. And you had mentioned in the bio just kind of broken identity and we're going to talk about that. And so I feel like where I would love to start is that moment of kind of confrontation with my identity and where God's led me now. So like you said, I've been married almost 30 years, my husband and I have two biological children. And so, you know,

Cecily Lachapelle (08:42.315)
No, not at all.

Cecily Lachapelle (08:47.82)
Mm-hmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (08:52.706)
Yes.

Okay.

Megan Nilsen (09:05.61)
married five years, then we have our first baby, a few years later another baby, 10 year anniversary. We are enjoying, you know, little vineyard in Napa Valley while grandma babysits the two kids and just dreaming about our life and talking about family planning and for whatever reason, I mean, the reason is God, that's the reason. But I didn't know it at the time, you know, we were talking about would we have more kids and we just both decided

Cecily Lachapelle (09:27.15)
Yes.

Megan Nilsen (09:34.472)
no, we were not having more biological kids, but if we would, we would adopt. And that's just sort of what we said, like we'd be open to adoption. So play that out for a few years and all the mom groups I would go to like, are you done having kids? yes, I think so. But if we would, we would adopt. And I just sort of said that like a broken record for a few years. And then there was one summer in particular where some friends of ours called

Cecily Lachapelle (09:39.214)
Mmm.

Megan Nilsen (10:01.564)
And I think it was even May of this year. And they said, we're adopting a baby from Ethiopia. And I was like, whoa, they're adopting a baby. Like what? Just I felt blindsided. I had no idea. Amazing. Then probably like a week or two later, my cousin calls and says, we're adopting a baby from Ethiopia. I'm like, what in the world? Like best friends, family, all of a sudden, it was just like this. I describe it now as if the Lord's ever put something on your heart that is

Cecily Lachapelle (10:08.728)
Wow.

Cecily Lachapelle (10:17.952)
What is happening?

Megan Nilsen (10:29.758)
sort of a hum like a soundtrack that you kind of can't get rid of, know, those songs that come in your head and you just like, so there's a lot of times God will put his vision in your heart. But if it's a vision that feels scary in the natural sense, risky in the natural sense, it might just be like, well, I mean, maybe we're supposed to adapt. I don't really know. Like that feels like a big thing and very unknown. So maybe it's him, maybe it's not. then but then I'm watching two families.

Cecily Lachapelle (10:32.654)
Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (10:51.853)
Yes.

Megan Nilsen (10:58.252)
walk this out in a very real way. And I was I was challenged with like, this idea that they're walking out something that I feel called to do, but too scared to do. It was a very interesting, almost like out of body experience. So I went back to the Lord, and I'm like, Oh, my gosh, like, what is going on? You know, are we supposed to do this? So my husband and I took about a month that summer. And I just said, This is just

Cecily Lachapelle (11:11.468)
Mmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (11:15.352)
Yeah.

Megan Nilsen (11:27.062)
too loud in my head. I don't know if we're supposed to do this. I feel like we need to figure it out as either like a yes or a no and we move forward or not. And we both decided to pray and fast in our different ways and journal about it. We come back together. At the end of that month, the Lord directed me to spend a day fasting and praying. And I remember dropping my two kids at elementary school at that time, kind of driving out of the parking lot. And immediately I felt the sense from the Holy Spirit that was like,

Cecily Lachapelle (11:33.73)
Yes.

Megan Nilsen (11:56.384)
Take a right and go home. Don't take a left and go doing all your errands and everything you think you're gonna do today. Scrap it, go home, spend the day with me, fasting and praying and just seeking me on this. So I went home and opened up the Bible, opened my concordance in the back of my Bible and I was just like, okay Lord, what do you have to say about orphan adoption? So.

Cecily Lachapelle (12:01.518)
Hmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (12:18.648)
Wow. A lot.

Megan Nilsen (12:19.37)
you're probably chuckling along because you're like, God has a lot to say about that. And I'm writing down every verse in every encounter with orphan adoption. was like, okay, I really sense you're asking us to be obedient. I was always imagining like, God knows we are quote, open to this. And I wonder sometimes as human beings and as Christ followers, when we think, God, you know, I'm open to whatever you want. And it's just going to kind of come to me. I'm just going to do my life over here.

Cecily Lachapelle (12:22.478)
Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (12:26.606)
Wow.

Cecily Lachapelle (12:37.39)
Mmm.

Megan Nilsen (12:46.794)
And if it's your will, like you're going to bring it around some way. Some kids are going to just sort of show up on our doorstep, metaphorically speaking, and be like, okay, you know, this must be a sign that we're the family for these kids. And immediately I was convicted by the Holy Spirit. And I really felt like the Holy Spirit say to me, you keep praying and thinking that these kids or kid is going to show up on your doorstep. But all you need to do is walk out your doorstep and look around.

Cecily Lachapelle (12:52.567)
Say that.

Cecily Lachapelle (13:00.045)
Mmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (13:10.926)
Hmm.

Megan Nilsen (13:16.3)
because they're everywhere. So what are you gonna do? my gosh. So long story short, we decided to pursue the path of adoption. that point, international was more open than it is now. Ethiopia was open, it is now closed, but at that time it was open. And so we just kind of started the home study and all the things. And I remember one time in that fall, my husband came home from a work retreat and he said, I just was like crying the whole way home from this retreat. And I just feel like,

Cecily Lachapelle (13:17.997)
Hmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (13:37.624)
Wow.

Megan Nilsen (13:46.272)
We're supposed to adopt two kids. Every time I envision our family, see two, like four total, and I think we're supposed to adopt two. And I was like, okay, well, if the Lord's speaking to you, and that's definitely not coming from you in the natural sense, then I think that's what we're supposed to do. So I emailed the adoption agency and I say, hey, just FYI, I know we're just in the middle of all the paperwork, but I think we might possibly be open to a sibling set, like two kids.

you we were thinking one. so immediately my email inbox was like full with these attached documents of kids, of sibling sets, of pictures and some, you know, like just brief details. And I was just like, my gosh, how do you look at a picture of a child and determine like, yes, you're the one or you're not, how do you pick? You know, felt very difficult. It felt very heavy. But I was just like, okay, Lord, if we

Cecily Lachapelle (14:26.466)
Wow.

Yeah. Right. Sure.

Megan Nilsen (14:41.354)
if we could pick and it seems like we do have some voice in this, we would love a boy and a girl. We had a boy and a girl. I would love to keep the birth order. So I would love boy, girl, boy, girl. And sure enough, there was one sibling set that was a boy and a girl. And I just looked at their little faces and they just captured me immediately. And I remember thinking, okay, like, do we say yes to these two? Like, what is this? And I was just praying, praying, praying, praying like, Lord, please help me know what to do.

Cecily Lachapelle (14:47.566)
Yeah.

Megan Nilsen (15:10.994)
And I was looking back at the picture of the intake picture from the adoption agency and their mother was relinquishing them. So it was the last day that they would see her. And I looked at the date at the top of the page and it said August 23rd. And I was like, wait a minute. So I go back and I grab my journal and I flip back on the pages. And sure enough, I see August 23rd was the day that I went home, fasted and prayed.

Cecily Lachapelle (15:20.632)
Wow.

Megan Nilsen (15:38.282)
And to me, I was like, okay, this is a divine sign that like this is the Holy Spirit just connecting this day. And so I knew nothing more than that except for to say like, I think this is it. So I always from this day forward, I tell people, write things down, date them, put as much detail as you can, because the Holy Spirit is so precise and he's very creative. So the more precise you can be with sort of observing and paying attention to your life.

Cecily Lachapelle (15:38.478)
Ugh.

Wow.

Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (15:59.768)
Yes. Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (16:08.023)
Mm-hmm.

Megan Nilsen (16:08.224)
then you have more data points for the Holy Spirit to speak to you. know? Yeah. So, yeah.

Cecily Lachapelle (16:13.25)
love that. I love that. I just want to pause you right there. Listeners, I hope you heard that because you hear me say all the time, journal, journal, journal, journal, journal, journal, helps you. Why, why, why? And here, here, here is an example because we need to have that backlog of things that like Megan was just saying, the Holy Spirit can pull from. That's happened to me.

Megan Nilsen (16:26.934)
Why, why, why?

Cecily Lachapelle (16:43.018)
so many times where I will read a scripture or I'll hear a sermon or the Lord will be saying something and then he'll give that little nudge to me of saying, hmm, does this sound familiar? Where have you heard this before? And I'm thinking, wait, wait, wait, when was that? And I flip back through my journal and I realize that the Holy Spirit has been weaving together a very important message. We ask for direction.

and then go blithely on with our day without giving the Holy Spirit the opportunity to be dropping these laying breadcrumbs is how I refer to it. He's laying breadcrumbs to get us to that. But that journaling is just one of the important ways that the Holy Spirit can speak to us. So, okay. So proceed with your story. This is so great.

Megan Nilsen (17:14.304)
Mm-hmm.

Megan Nilsen (17:22.07)
Mm-hmm.

Megan Nilsen (17:32.97)
Yes. Thank you. Yes, you are singing my song, girl. In fact, the most recent book I wrote was about journaling with the Lord. So it's been so transformational for me and I definitely am with you. So anyway, so we go through the adoption process with these two children and bring them home. And it's December of this year. We live in Colorado. You're in New Hampshire. You understand it's cold. It's like very opposite of Ethiopia.

Cecily Lachapelle (17:55.032)
Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (17:59.182)
Wow.

Megan Nilsen (18:00.364)
It was just an other worldly experience and I have so much compassion in my heart for my children because I think what would it feel like to be living as little children across the world in a totally different culture, a totally different language and this white family walks in and is like, hello, we're your new mom and dad. It feels a little bit like a horror movie, even though it's God's orchestrating, but they were just shocked.

Cecily Lachapelle (18:06.83)
you

Cecily Lachapelle (18:20.789)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Megan Nilsen (18:29.62)
and traumatized once we landed on US soil and, you know, just naturally in adoption. Everything's different. And the abandonment and just all of the internal trauma that happens in this, you know, in this process. Anyway, so, so the first couple months are really very, very difficult. Every day feels chaotic and just loud and

Cecily Lachapelle (18:32.43)
I'm sure. The food is different. Everything they're looking at is different. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Sure.

Megan Nilsen (18:58.284)
oppositional and our kids are kind of fighting the system. And anyway, so finally, my husband, you know, I'm like, I can't, I don't know what to do. I think I'm a terrible mom. think we made a mistake. Are we sure we heard God right? I they probably would have been better off. Like all the whole list of things in my head of just like, why did we choose to do this? I think we made the wrong decision. And he said, you know, no offense, honey, but I really think you need to go see somebody like therapist.

Cecily Lachapelle (19:17.678)
you

Megan Nilsen (19:26.718)
I was like, think I do too. Because this whole ship is going down, right? So anyway, so I go sit at, I find a great counselor and I'm on her couch and I'm telling her this entire story and I'm just sort of dumping it all and saying, is such a huge sacrifice. I don't know what to do. Help me. And I'm thinking she's going to hand me a tissue and pat me on the back and say, my goodness, your life is so hard, honey. I know.

Cecily Lachapelle (19:31.66)
Yeah.

Cecily Lachapelle (19:54.057)
Mmm.

Megan Nilsen (19:54.912)
but we'll work on this together. Things will get better." And she did not say that. She said, you know, she just looked me straight across the room and straight in my eye and she said, you know, motherhood is not your highest and greatest calling, right?

Cecily Lachapelle (20:12.525)
Ha ha ha.

Megan Nilsen (20:14.176)
And I said, no, no. That's all I'm doing. Like, you know, I had two kids and I have four kids and I mean, we adopted these kids and now I'm their mom and you know, I feel like the mantle has been given to me. So what do mean? Like motherhood is not my highest pursuit.

Cecily Lachapelle (20:25.506)
Yep.

Cecily Lachapelle (20:31.182)
It's the only thing I'm doing right now and I'm stinking at it.

Megan Nilsen (20:32.552)
It's the only thing I'm doing. Yes, yes. So in that moment, she was about to really rearrange and renew my mind toward what is a child of God, what is a Christ-centered identity versus kind of that orphan spirit. And so over the years, we have been working on this, but she said in that moment, she said, you know, your highest calling is to be a daughter of God.

Cecily Lachapelle (20:47.139)
yet.

Cecily Lachapelle (20:58.666)
is.

Megan Nilsen (20:58.9)
and to get your in-feeling from the Holy Spirit and to follow Jesus and to trust in his power and until you as a woman, as a human being, so mother or otherwise, until you understand that your in-feeling comes by his spirit, then you will always be frustrated. You will forever feel empty because you are trying to manufacture the energy in your own spirit and the success by your own flesh. And it's always going to be temporary. It's worldly.

Cecily Lachapelle (21:09.699)
Yeah.

Cecily Lachapelle (21:25.518)
Mmm.

Megan Nilsen (21:28.542)
And so I just walked out of there kind of dazed and confused and really for the past 12 plus years have been like doggedly pursuing this because I'm like, there's a difference between being a daughter of the king and trusting God's love and not needing to be in control of everything and just being so anxious and worried about everybody and everybody's life and how it's all going to turn out and rather saying, okay, God's in control.

Cecily Lachapelle (21:39.608)
Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (21:54.252)
Yes.

Megan Nilsen (21:58.322)
God will redeem anything. God's filling my spirit. And so whether or not my child attaches to me or loves me, whether or not I attach to them, is that that's like that is that won't totally upset my life. I will be tender. I will be compassionate. I will have feelings about it because I'm human and hopefully kind, you know, but I just that's the identity piece that was very much.

Cecily Lachapelle (22:19.566)
You

Megan Nilsen (22:26.508)
kind of hit me in the face that day, because I'd been a Christian for a very long time, since I was young. But I did not really know what it meant to be filled with the Holy Spirit and to walk in His power and in His infilling until then.

Cecily Lachapelle (22:31.308)
Wow.

Cecily Lachapelle (22:39.372)
Mmm.

Wow. That is such an amazing story. I love that. And I love the fact that you're talking about your identity, learning and growing in the revelation and awareness of your identity as a daughter of God is your highest pursuit. That's why I named my ministry Higher Pursuit Ministries. Highest Pursuit was taken. But

Megan Nilsen (23:06.732)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (23:11.758)
It was on Go Daddy. I couldn't have it. so I put higher pursuit. But honestly, I'd say in my tagline, pursuing our highest and best in the Lord together, because it really is our highest pursuit is to know Him and then thereby to know who we are because of who He is. Our identity is absolutely

Megan Nilsen (23:30.102)
Mm-hmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (23:41.182)
married and interwoven into the personhood and the character and the nature of the Godhead. So pursuing the presence and the person of Jesus through the Holy Spirit is our highest pursuit and therefore then our identity gets rooted in that. If he's the Savior, then we're saved. If he's the Redeemer, then that makes us

Megan Nilsen (24:07.606)
Yeah.

Cecily Lachapelle (24:10.904)
the redeemed. If he's the covenant cutter, then we are the covenant recipients, like and on and on. And so that's why I named my ministry that because I struggle, have struggled in the exact same way. And it's exhausting riding that double-minded roller coaster of I feel like a good Christian today. boy, today's been a bad day. God must really be angry.

Megan Nilsen (24:12.128)
Yeah.

Megan Nilsen (24:15.51)
Yeah.

Megan Nilsen (24:26.186)
Mm-hmm.

Megan Nilsen (24:34.912)
Yeah. And double-minded is the word. I mean, that is the word that the Lord convicted me of then and actually recently has been kind of brought back to mind in several different conversations. Like it is very dangerous to be for us, for me to be double-minded because it really, yeah, it really just dilutes the power and

Cecily Lachapelle (24:52.718)
Mmm.

Megan Nilsen (25:02.688)
and what God wants to do. So I feel like that singular pursuit is very, very important. And the identity shift for me has just meant a constant releasing. So what that, that counseling experience and then the subsequent years have exposed is a route of control and needing to, which really goes down to fear, right? Like there are just some basic roots and fear is one of those big ones of

Cecily Lachapelle (25:05.197)
Hmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (25:27.138)
Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (25:31.276)
Yes.

Megan Nilsen (25:31.732)
If I'm not in control, then what? What are people gonna think? What is going to happen? What are my kids gonna experience? What am I gonna experience? And so it's just been a constant releasing. In fact, the book that I ended up writing about it was called A Beautiful Exchange, Responding to God's Invitation for More. And that phrase, a beautiful exchange, was this image that the Lord gave me of, Megan, you wanna hold so much to your flesh and what you think you need and your agenda for your life and your day.

Cecily Lachapelle (25:40.045)
Mm-hmm.

Megan Nilsen (26:01.238)
But if you would just release and release the control and exchange, I want to exchange my spirit for your flesh. Is that how you say it? Yeah. Exchange your flesh, give you my spirit. And then that's what you walk in. So it's been trying to think about that ever since.

Cecily Lachapelle (26:10.894)
Mmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (26:14.423)
Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (26:17.954)
Wow, so good. That is amazing. So for some of the moms out there that are struggling with this, talk about what some of the expectations or beliefs you were struggling with about motherhood that led you to place your identity in it.

Megan Nilsen (26:40.702)
I think that at the base level,

I was just carrying, and I find that a lot of moms do this as well as I've kind of over the years talked to women, but I was just carrying the weight of the world, of the health and happiness and success of my family. I thought it all hung on me. Now, if you would have asked me that, cognitively I would have said, no. And of course I'm a partnership with my husband, but I think deep down in my heart, I was like, this is my God given role.

Cecily Lachapelle (26:58.968)
Yeah.

Cecily Lachapelle (27:03.448)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Megan Nilsen (27:16.044)
I have to keep everybody okay. And if they're not okay, I'm not okay. I've not done my job. And so there has to be a stripping and a very much a differentiation is what I had to come to understand. Like that human being, that soul, whether they're five years old or 55 or 85, like that soul is there, God's doing his work in other people's lives. And I can pray and I can intercede and we should.

Cecily Lachapelle (27:18.306)
Yeah. Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (27:36.152)
Yep.

Cecily Lachapelle (27:44.589)
Yes.

Megan Nilsen (27:45.194)
But I don't live and die and my identity and my peace. mean, Jesus, you know, says he will give us the peace that passes all understanding. Well, the only way he can do that is if you actually trust him to fill you with his peace versus the peace that comes from the world, which you're never going to find peace because people are very squirrely and kids don't always do what you want them to do. And they mess up and you might be embarrassed and you might be like, my gosh, I can't believe this is my life. It's okay.

Cecily Lachapelle (27:54.285)
Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (28:02.723)
Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (28:13.294)
Right? Yeah. Absolutely. That's amazing. That's amazing. For me, it happened when I realized that I had a child that was an addict. Initially, in his growing up years, we didn't know that's what we were dealing with. So we thought it was ADHD. So there's counseling and medication for that. And then we thought, well,

Megan Nilsen (28:15.496)
You know, it hurts, but it's okay. So those are a couple of the things that come to mind.

Cecily Lachapelle (28:42.432)
It's because he's a product of the divorce from my first marriage and all the anger residual with that and the abandonment and all of that. So there's counseling for that and family therapy. And then, maybe it's because I got remarried and the stepdad's here all the time, but his biological dad isn't in the picture. And maybe there's anger and comparison and all that. I mean, we went on and on.

We went down every rabbit hole and I knocked on every door. I was doing research. I was looking for answers, feeling that, like you said, I'm responsible for this. And it's kind of hard when you get called into teachers meetings or as things went on and got really serious in his life in high school, you're getting phone calls from the police now and you're finding out all of these.

Megan Nilsen (29:21.228)
Mm-hmm.

Megan Nilsen (29:35.052)
you

Cecily Lachapelle (29:38.36)
horrible things and having to search the bedroom and all that. Feeling like everybody is pointing their finger at me. Because everyone thinks, well, so-and-so is such a great child. They were really raised right. Well, then what's the flip side of that coin?

Megan Nilsen (29:46.09)
Hmm.

Megan Nilsen (29:55.436)
Absolutely. And you take the blame immediately or like it must be my fault. I must have done something wrong. It's like it reminds me of that story in the Bible when it's like, well, who's sinned that this kid was born blind, which whose fault is it? And Jesus said, nobody's. He was born blind. So he could, I could do the miracle and we could glorify God. Like, let's see the glory of God in this, you very different.

Cecily Lachapelle (30:00.984)
Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (30:05.332)
Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (30:09.315)
Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (30:13.654)
Yes.

Yes, but as moms, we do wrap our identity in our kids if we don't know that we're not supposed to. And that impacts our mental and our emotional and our spiritual health. So you said your husband sort of chirped up and said, honey, I think you need some help. What were some of the impacts that he was noticing that got you to that point?

Megan Nilsen (30:40.716)
I mean, the other thing that really became apparent was that to be very blunt, I had made him an idol in my life as well. Like, I think there was some sort of perspective that I couldn't really parent on my own, that I really needed him. And so in those very tumultuous beginning days, he would, you you can only take so much time off of work and then you eventually have to go back to work. So I was staying home with kids.

Cecily Lachapelle (31:09.389)
Right.

Megan Nilsen (31:10.378)
He would get head out the door to work, finally get to the office, set his stuff down. And I'm calling in a panic, like this kid's running away. This kid, this is, this is happening. This is happening. And he would just turn right around, come back home, try to put some semblance of peace back in the house and order, you know, Hey, you know, so I needed his presence in that space, like his physical presence to, kind of keep the peace and just see what was happening, what I couldn't deal with.

Cecily Lachapelle (31:17.261)
Hmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (31:32.014)
Mm.

Mmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (31:40.408)
Yeah.

Megan Nilsen (31:40.652)
I think in some sense that that is true. It was just like the more kids than parents eventually you're like, okay, we just need a few more hands here. But, you know, and I remember saying, I, this is just a sacrifice. Like this whole thing. He said, sacrifice. I'm sacrificing. Like I'm doing everything I can for this family. And I remember saying, yeah, well, motherhood is a sacrifice. My whole life is a sacrifice.

Cecily Lachapelle (31:47.19)
It's true. I'm outnumbered by a long shot.

Cecily Lachapelle (32:02.51)
Mm.

Megan Nilsen (32:09.534)
And in that moment, I could just tell like I had wounded him so deeply, because I just wasn't recognizing the pain that he was in, how hard he was trying to keep everybody together and the float. So it was, and I really, I feel like he was seeing me be very, curt and cold and, you know, just

Cecily Lachapelle (32:14.762)
Mm.

Cecily Lachapelle (32:20.482)
Yeah.

Megan Nilsen (32:37.996)
snappy with everybody and there was no joy. Yes. Yeah. Right. Totally. Right. Right. And how do you expect me to do this by myself? And he was like, you're not doing this by yourself. We are married. We are a family, you know? And so I feel like, know, Satan is the splitter. That's what that means. He's the divider and he'll find any little foothold to kind of get in and weave that narrative. Like, that's right. You are doing this by yourself. You don't have him.

Cecily Lachapelle (32:39.906)
Yeah. Did you feel abandoned? Did you felt like he abandoned you? Yeah. Mm. Mm-hmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (32:53.462)
Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (32:57.518)
Come on. Yeah.

Megan Nilsen (33:07.402)
And those were the lies I was beginning to believe and my husband is very astute and he was like, we gotta, gotta cut this off right now. yeah.

Cecily Lachapelle (33:07.79)
Yeah.

Cecily Lachapelle (33:13.998)
That is so good. Good for him. Good for him. You know what? I hope that if there are husbands or other gentlemen listening to this right now, that you trust your gut. If you know that someone in your family, if you know that your wife needs some help, speak up. I understand a lot of men feel like, well, I'm just a natural fixer anyway. I'm going to try to fix everything anyhow. But a lot of men...

Megan Nilsen (33:40.576)
Right. Right.

Cecily Lachapelle (33:43.092)
I find, especially today, have been so indoctrinated to not open their mouth, not try to fix things, that the pendulum has almost swung to the other extreme, where now men question, well, maybe I shouldn't say something, I'll make her upset, and I don't want her to think that I don't view her as an independent, intelligent person who can figure things out for herself. But when you're in a situation

Megan Nilsen (34:07.968)
Mm-hmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (34:13.122)
where your mind, will, and emotions have been put in the Cuisinart and you are overwhelmed and you feel like someone's just pushing your head under every day, you do need someone on the outside to sort of wave that flag and say, baby, I love you, but I think it's time for you to talk to someone, a pastor, a counselor, a spiritual coach. Do you need me to help you find that person or are you good with that? But...

Megan Nilsen (34:37.036)
Yeah.

Cecily Lachapelle (34:41.816)
to respectfully and lovingly step out there and read that.

Megan Nilsen (34:44.126)
Mm-hmm. Now, I think the other thing that became apparent to me was I also had this narrative that I didn't need anybody else. Success meant I could do this on my own. And we had chosen to adopt. We had picked this life. And so I thought, we chose this. Then I got to figure out how to do this. I picked it. I don't need to drag anybody else into this with me.

Cecily Lachapelle (34:56.878)
Come on.

Cecily Lachapelle (35:09.678)
Mmm.

Yeah.

Megan Nilsen (35:12.98)
And God really rearranged my idea of Christian community and being vulnerable. mean, obviously now there's just so much research talking about vulnerability and we need each other, right? Sometimes I can help you, sometimes you can help me. As Brene Brown says, we like to divide the world into givers and receivers and the truth is we are both. We need and we also can give. And so I just had to be so honest with the people around me, my very close girlfriends and people in the church.

Cecily Lachapelle (35:16.686)
Mmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (35:34.798)
Absolutely.

Megan Nilsen (35:41.548)
because they would say, what do you need? And of course, my response was like, nothing. I'm fine. We'll be fine. Yes, it is hard, but we'll be fine. But really, I needed them to be praying and fasting. And I had this lovely girlfriend who just was like, I had a dream about you guys last night. And I dreamt that I had this vision that we were all standing around your house and holding hands and praying. sure enough, they did that. I she rallied people. And they went to the park next to our house. And they're like,

Cecily Lachapelle (35:41.998)
you

Cecily Lachapelle (36:05.442)
Wow.

Megan Nilsen (36:09.004)
We're not going into the Skudman's house, but we're going to go pray around them. So really a lot of awareness with spiritual warfare as well. That was, I don't think I'd ever really truly understood that there is a spirit realm that is against us as I did then. Yeah.

Cecily Lachapelle (36:20.856)
Mmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (36:26.094)
Absolutely. Yes. Yeah, absolutely. I remember when John and I were going through a really, really hard season and it was just one explosion after another. There was not one area of our life that wasn't under attack. Every single area from our finances to our kids to business. I everything was under attack all at one time. And John had been strong.

for a long time and he's trying to be strong for me and go to the office and keep a good face on. But one day he came home and he was out by our fire pit, which is sort of like his outdoor man cave. And I could just see he's broken. And I got on the phone and I just started texting every wife I could that I thought would have a husband home. And I said, this is a 911 SWAT team call.

Megan Nilsen (37:00.14)
Mm-hmm.

Megan Nilsen (37:10.614)
Mm-hmm.

Megan Nilsen (37:24.033)
Hmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (37:24.706)
We need the SWAT team, the guys of God, to come and surround my husband because he is going down in flames and this isn't something that I can fix. He needs other guys. And within an hour, there were eight men. They were all around him. I mean, I could just cry just thinking about it. And he would be there for other men, but he never thought to reach out for himself.

Megan Nilsen (37:41.974)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Megan Nilsen (37:53.12)
Mm-hmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (37:53.59)
and say, guys, I need help. I need encouragement, even if it wasn't there. Nobody had a magic bullet scripture. There wasn't any magic thing that somebody could say that would flip the switch and say, thanks for saying that. All my problems are solved, but just their presence. It made so much difference. And to know I'm not alone. I don't have to handle this alone.

Megan Nilsen (38:02.323)
Mm-hmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (38:19.966)
And that vulnerability then allowed him to have follow-up conversations with his friends as they would check in and say, how's that going? And so he knew he didn't have to carry it all by himself. And I, yeah.

Megan Nilsen (38:25.12)
Mm-hmm.

Megan Nilsen (38:30.86)
Yeah, yeah, we shouldn't. I mean, there's a reason that Jesus gave us the body of Christ. Like, he didn't say, and now go do this whole thing on your own. You've got me, but just do it. Do it. You and me. It's like, no, you are a church, messy and broken as you are, but this is the way of things in the kingdom. We do it together.

Cecily Lachapelle (38:36.622)
Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (38:43.384)
Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (38:50.774)
Yes. You mentioned, this kind of goes with what we're just talking about, you mentioned that you realized that you were living with an orphan spirit, which I think is so ironic because you adopted orphans and yet you were probably the biggest orphan in the house or right there with them. And so how would you define that and what did that look like in your life?

Megan Nilsen (39:02.166)
Correct.

Megan Nilsen (39:05.888)
Yeah, right there.

Megan Nilsen (39:11.838)
Yeah, yeah. Thank you. Yeah, this has been another pivotal transformational teaching for me that I heard years ago from a pastor. think it was probably Bill Johnson back in the day. But he was talking about, so sort of a litmus test between child God versus orphan spirit. And he distilled it to these couple of things. You know that you are an orphan or acting out of an orphan spirit when you have a high need for control.

Cecily Lachapelle (39:23.277)
Megan Nilsen (39:40.96)
very much controlling the world around you and you have a low level of trust, low level of trust in God, low level of trust in other people because orphans by nature have been, scrappy, they're survivors, they have to take care of themselves and so you're acting like you have to take care of yourself. You can't rely on anybody else and you need to control everything around you as much as possible. Conversely, the child of God has a high level of trust, especially in God.

Cecily Lachapelle (39:43.598)
Hmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (40:08.686)
Mm.

Megan Nilsen (40:10.128)
and that you have a low need to control everything around you because you trust God's hand at work in other people. You trust God's hand at work in you. You trust his sovereignty. And then ultimately as a child of God, you are working from favor. So your bank, your emotional and spiritual bank account is full. Your love is full because you're working from a favorable love versus an orphan spirit constantly working for favor. Do you love me? Do you like me? Do you love me? Do you like me? Let me work for that.

Cecily Lachapelle (40:14.222)
Mmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (40:26.894)
you

Cecily Lachapelle (40:31.939)
Yeah.

Cecily Lachapelle (40:35.65)
Yes.

Yes.

Megan Nilsen (40:39.584)
That to me has been a really interesting visual and metaphor. And I just get convicted all the time like, ooh, am I trying to control everything with a really low level of trust right now? Or am I releasing, letting go, trusting in God's work in me and other people? So it's a daily renewal for sure.

Cecily Lachapelle (40:48.749)
Yep.

Cecily Lachapelle (40:56.642)
Mm-hmm.

Absolutely. Man, I have wrestled with that as well. I don't know why that would happen. I mean, I was raised in a home with two parents that there was, I mean, it wasn't a perfect childhood, but I didn't really have a reason to believe that. But I did grow up feeling like the weight of my life, the impact of my life, the results

Megan Nilsen (41:06.252)
Hmm.

Megan Nilsen (41:12.331)
Right.

Cecily Lachapelle (41:29.198)
from my life are on me. Like that scripture where Paul says to the Galatians, foolish Galatians, do you believe that having begun in the spirit, you will now finish in the flesh? And I would have had to have raised my hand and been like, I do, I actually do, I actually do believe that. I got into the kingdom by grace and now I gotta walk this thing out on my own.

Megan Nilsen (41:43.136)
Yeah.

Megan Nilsen (41:49.377)
Yeah.

Cecily Lachapelle (41:58.092)
Such an orphan spirit. And it's something I think that's slippery. You can slip down that slope pretty easily if we're not, like you said, daily trying to take our thoughts captive and evaluate how we're thinking.

Megan Nilsen (42:17.796)
Yeah, yeah. I mean, I think we all experience it to one degree or another. mean, the people who have gone through trauma in bigger ways, it really manifests quite obviously. But yeah, the irony is that, mean, and that's what I'm so thankful. Like God gave me this natural lesson, this spiritual lesson in the natural sense. And I'm so grateful for it because I can see it more clearly because I've

Cecily Lachapelle (42:26.296)
Yeah.

Cecily Lachapelle (42:30.606)
Yeah.

Cecily Lachapelle (42:41.71)
Yes.

Megan Nilsen (42:45.98)
lived, you know, with this in the home. So yeah.

Cecily Lachapelle (42:49.974)
I mean, yeah, did that actually help you recognize it in yourself a little bit? And what did you see in them?

Megan Nilsen (42:55.71)
Yes. yes, definitely recognize it myself and have compassion for my children. Because I could see in a more rational way, like where the behavior was coming from, you know, why they had a need to control because they, they didn't trust that the world would take care of them. They had been abandoned, they had been moved around, they didn't always have the food that they needed. So, you know, it gives me compassion for the root of where some of these behaviors that are very

Cecily Lachapelle (43:02.606)
Hmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (43:09.026)
Yeah.

Cecily Lachapelle (43:14.734)
Yeah.

Megan Nilsen (43:24.33)
that can be very ugly or just like, are you doing that? You know, you can say, I know why. So now I also know how to pray.

Cecily Lachapelle (43:28.174)
Mmm.

Yeah. Right. Right. Wow. So how did God begin to speak to you in the season? So you have the conversation with the counselor. She rings your bell. You walk out of there going, whoa, whoa, whoa. This is a complete paradigm shift. And lead us into how this all turned around.

Megan Nilsen (43:54.794)
Yeah. I think just little by little day, a day, a daily, mean, the short answer is a daily walk, a daily renewal, a willingness to be open and be convicted and also inspired to, to trust that the Lord's hand at work in my life. And then ultimately, I ended up writing our story and really through the lens of what the Lord taught me.

Cecily Lachapelle (44:09.4)
Mmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (44:21.827)
Mmm.

Megan Nilsen (44:21.868)
as a wife, as a mom, as a woman, a child of God, and hopefully some universal lessons to teach other people about walking by the Spirit. And then how it turned into what I'm doing now is that, so fast forward a bunch of years, I'm like, stay at home, mom, just trying to keep everybody moving along. You know, 10 years later, everybody's kind of recalibrating and then get kind of, you know, the waves have smoothed out a bit. And,

Cecily Lachapelle (44:47.605)
Yeah, that's good.

Megan Nilsen (44:50.014)
I was having, I had a little part-time job doing some communications and right at the top of 2020, I felt like I was kind of bored and restless and I'm like, okay, God, you've given me so much just transformative education and information and experience. Like, what do do with this? And so kind of converging that was just my natural love for communicating, whether that's speaking, writing, mentoring.

Cecily Lachapelle (45:17.08)
Yes.

Megan Nilsen (45:18.476)
And I actually was like, I had a girlfriend who was a business coach and, and I felt like the Lord was saying, you know, hire her to be a business coach. And I was like, I don't have a business. Like, why would I ever hire a business coach? I don't even know what this is. And she was pretty, she was fairly pricey, especially, you know, for me, like, oh my gosh, how am I going to even pay for this? And I really, once again, I felt like the Holy Spirit said, Megan, you're very comfortable propping up everybody else and their message and kind of scooching them to the front.

Cecily Lachapelle (45:31.341)
Huh.

Cecily Lachapelle (45:38.35)
Yes.

Megan Nilsen (45:47.05)
but you have your own message that I've given you. so why, you know, like, do you want to step out there in confidence and, and risk for yourself? Like for what I've given you, was like, my gosh. So I hired a business coach and then a few months into working together, you know, she's asking all the things that business coaches do. What's your zone of genius? What do people come to you for? What could you create? And she said, actually, I want to hire you to be like my spiritual Christian life coach. And

Cecily Lachapelle (45:47.662)
Mmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (45:56.864)
Mmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (46:10.306)
Right.

Cecily Lachapelle (46:15.288)
love it.

Megan Nilsen (46:16.012)
So I started working with her. She said, I just want to have a space where I can really think through my life and the decisions I'm making, parenting, marriage, business, whatever, through the lens of scripture, through the lens of the Holy Spirit. So I started working with her. That was amazing. And then when the world shut down in the pandemic, I was leading Bible studies at church. so we were all going to go on Zoom over the summer. We all know that we all lived it. And I was thinking, what study would we want to?

Cecily Lachapelle (46:25.198)
Yeah.

Cecily Lachapelle (46:33.422)
Hmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (46:41.708)
Yeah.

Megan Nilsen (46:45.344)
What do we want to do? So whose study are we going to pick? I'm thinking of all the well-known authors. And one of my very best friends, said, Megan, you wrote your own book. Why aren't you teaching from that?

Cecily Lachapelle (46:58.776)
Yeah.

Megan Nilsen (46:59.99)
I was like, I don't know, would anybody really care what I have to say? And she's like, so I had to go through all the mindset stuff. So then I started a small group coaching program off of that. And the Lord just began to open up kind of exponentially hearing other people's stories and really learning to hear his voice. So that's maybe where I'll land the plane here is that I began to listen to a pastor talking about journaling with the Lord and really

Cecily Lachapelle (47:01.134)
Huh?

Cecily Lachapelle (47:19.246)
Yes.

Megan Nilsen (47:27.816)
hearing the Holy Spirit's voice through writing and that speaks to me obviously as a writer that's a mode that I like. And so as I was journaling with the Lord and picturing Jesus and kind of writing the kind of the loving, encouraging and sometimes convicting response that the Lord would give me about anything that I was asking, then I woke up one day and he kind of gave me this framework in my head of a deeper, like once we hear the Lord's voice and we write down what we're hearing,

Cecily Lachapelle (47:30.744)
Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (47:34.701)
Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (47:44.919)
Yes.

Megan Nilsen (47:57.928)
What do we do with that? Like how does that actually inform your day or an action or do you wait? Do you go? Do you call? What are you supposed to do? So that's when I created just the beautiful exchange journaling, which is what I kind of teach now and as I write about that process and untangled faith. So it's just been a lot of fun. It's just, you can tell I think from my passion that I just want to help other people.

Cecily Lachapelle (48:00.162)
I love that.

Yeah.

Megan Nilsen (48:25.94)
Trust that you can hear God's voice first of all because most people are like I don't know is it him is it me I you I feel like I maybe I heard him at one point in my life But I really don't now so we have to rebuild trust that yes, he speaks to you Yes, you can hear him and then as you said earlier write it down Because then we were also very fickle people if we read scripture at all

Cecily Lachapelle (48:26.445)
Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (48:30.07)
Mm-hmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (48:43.596)
Yes. Yes.

Megan Nilsen (48:48.488)
He's constantly telling the Israelites, go remember, remember what I did for you. Remember. So how do we remember? We got to write it down. So it's just been a lot of fun.

Cecily Lachapelle (48:53.056)
Right, yes. And he's constantly telling them to make a memorial so that we can remember the things that God did.

Megan Nilsen (48:59.722)
Yes.

Megan Nilsen (49:03.422)
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. So who knows what the next day brings girl? I just one day at a time. Yeah.

Cecily Lachapelle (49:06.401)
So great.

Cecily Lachapelle (49:10.552)
Wow, I think that is so amazing. So were there any specific scriptures or, well, you mentioned the spiritual practice of journaling that was a lifeline for you, but was there any particular scripture that jumped out at you that led you to that? Or was it mostly that Bible study that you listened to about hearing God's voice?

Megan Nilsen (49:21.622)
Mm-hmm.

Megan Nilsen (49:36.884)
A lot of it was the teaching around hearing God's voice. And, you know, I think the, the, very classic scripture and it's classic for a reason is in John 10, when he says, thief comes to steal and kill and destroy. So you're going to be all wrapped up around your life. Like there's very real things that are stolen from you. There are very real losses, very real things. And there's sort of manufactured things that you are lies that you're believing.

Cecily Lachapelle (49:40.969)
Mmm.

Megan Nilsen (50:03.54)
In one way, or form, the enemy wants to just come in and ruin your life, right? Like steal from you. But I've come to give you what? Abundant life. Okay. You've come to give me abundant life. How do I recognize that? What is that? Well, I'm the good shepherd and the sheep know my voice. They're not going to listen to another. They're going to listen to my voice. Okay. God, Jesus, what does your voice sound like? Okay. Well, let's open the scriptures. Let's read.

Cecily Lachapelle (50:09.431)
Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (50:19.266)
That's it.

Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (50:26.296)
That's it.

Megan Nilsen (50:30.956)
You know, Galatians five, speaking of Galatians of the fruit of the spirit. Okay. You know, the destruction comes in these, these are kind of the symptoms and the clues of destruction. Here's the fruit of the spirit. Here's, and so, so he just began to weave all these concepts in my mind. I love John 10. I love John 14 and 15 about abiding in the vine. And, and then of course, Rebecca, just write the thing down, make it plain, like give, give anytime you have a vision.

Cecily Lachapelle (50:34.562)
Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (50:45.666)
Yeah.

Cecily Lachapelle (50:51.886)
Mmm.

Megan Nilsen (51:00.318)
especially if it's a really beautiful kind of expansive vision, trust that God has given you that vision and ask him to first of all say thank you for this vision. It's incredible. And then be honest and say, I have no idea how this would ever actually come to be in my life, but I trust you. Like, let's go. Let's see like where if I wanted this vision to come true because you've put it there, what would I need to do? Where would I need to be? Who would I need to be talking to? How do I need to be activated? So

Cecily Lachapelle (51:07.256)
Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (51:11.807)
Mm.

Cecily Lachapelle (51:17.569)
Right?

Mm-hmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (51:26.646)
Yes. Yes.

Megan Nilsen (51:30.078)
It's a very much a relationship that the Lord has with us. It's not this sort of black and white, I'm in charge and you're not and you're just gonna do what I say. Like it's a partnership, it's a friendship, it's a collaboration. And so I've had to kind of learn that over time and kind of relax into it and not everything has to be perfect. I get to just kind of create and mold with him, is fun.

Cecily Lachapelle (51:37.219)
Yeah.

Cecily Lachapelle (51:42.35)
this.

Cecily Lachapelle (51:52.151)
Yes.

Yes. You know, when it comes to breakthrough, when it comes to fruitfulness, when it comes to a fulfillment of a dream that we have in our heart, I love what you said. We have a partnership with God. God's got his part. He's going to plant the vision in our heart like a seed. He's going to either do it through a prophetic word or something that we write down in our journal that we weren't expecting to write. And we look down and we realize, wow.

Megan Nilsen (52:15.35)
Mm-hmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (52:25.186)
That's amazing. Or through a dream or it could be through a sermon. could be, mean, the Lord is unlimited in the ways that he can put a dream and a vision in our heart. But then we have our part. We have our part. I mean, our one part of our part is to hang on to that word when every single thing in our life looks like it's going in the opposite direction. Like with Joseph going into

Megan Nilsen (52:32.364)
Exactly.

Megan Nilsen (52:43.04)
Mm-hmm.

Megan Nilsen (52:49.835)
Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (52:53.64)
slavery and then prison and all that. Yes.

Megan Nilsen (52:55.416)
He had given him a dream. Joseph didn't really know how the dream was going to play out in the natural sense. But that vision was there from the beginning. That's true.

Cecily Lachapelle (53:02.283)
Yes.

Right. And God brought it to pass exactly like He said. And that's amazing. But with a lot of us, it doesn't happen exactly like we thought. God makes it actually better and more expansive because sometimes our brains are kind of restrictive. But there's such a, it's a beautiful dance, I feel, between the Lord leading, but then us following.

Megan Nilsen (53:11.2)
Mm-hmm.

Megan Nilsen (53:24.428)
Yeah.

Cecily Lachapelle (53:33.516)
and then he leads into the next step and the next stanza and us following. There has to be that. He has to speak, but he's chosen us to participate in it. And the cool thing is he pours out grace and then we get the W in our win column as if we did it alone, but we all know we didn't.

Megan Nilsen (53:38.732)
Yeah.

Megan Nilsen (53:51.872)
Yeah. Right. I do love that metaphor of a dance because usually with a dance, there's some kind of music, right? You are following some kind of rhythm and God has his kingdom rhythm, his kingdom cadence. But within that, you can be very creative and adjust day by day given what the music is doing and

Cecily Lachapelle (54:04.716)
Yes.

Mmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (54:12.686)
Yeah.

Cecily Lachapelle (54:18.99)
Mmm.

Megan Nilsen (54:19.594)
I think the other thing that he's deconstructed in me over time is just perfectionism. I'm sure I'm not alone in that, but the other roots, there's sort of fear and perfectionism is like, well, if I can't do it right, or if it's not gonna be X, Y, Z success, and I'm not sure if I should do it all, and he's been like, you're ridiculous, like, let's go, you're not trusting that I can grow this harvest that you're not in charge of.

Cecily Lachapelle (54:34.37)
girl.

Cecily Lachapelle (54:39.672)
girl.

Cecily Lachapelle (54:45.638)
Yes. my gosh. I just did a short podcast on that that will air before this. if you're when you're listening to this, scroll back to the one on perfectionism that I just did. That's a major thing that I have struggled with. And I get it honest. I've got I can see it in my family line, probably going back a thousand generations. And there it is totally the root of it is completely in fear, fear and control.

Megan Nilsen (54:52.178)
Yeah, perfect.

Megan Nilsen (55:07.678)
Mm-hmm.

Cecily Lachapelle (55:15.418)
and that whole flawed mentality that if we don't do it perfectly, and for me, it's not even do it perfectly, I just have, feel like I have to, I've felt like I have to know exactly what every single step is before I will get out of the gate. So if I was Abram called out of Ur of the Chaldees and God was speaking to me, I would still be there right now.

Megan Nilsen (55:44.246)
down.

Cecily Lachapelle (55:44.694)
because I would have been the person that would have said, well, when you give me the whole map and you tell me exactly where we're going, play this all out so that I don't have an Ishmael, so I don't make any mistakes, so that I don't lie to a king and say, is my sister. I I would just have not wanted to have made any mistakes. But yet when you read the word, it is so beautiful that God left all the flaws in there. Praise the Lord.

Megan Nilsen (56:12.758)
Yeah. Yeah.

Cecily Lachapelle (56:14.52)
that we get to see everybody's messy journey. That is not perfect.

Megan Nilsen (56:18.794)
Yeah. Amazing. In fact, I was just telling you before this call that I'm in a neighborhood Bible study. That's a whole other cool testimony, but we are doing a study on different women in the Bible and it's snapshots of them over the course of the curriculum. And we were just remarking today about how incredible it is that God uses exactly what you just said. I mean, these women, if you're talking Sarah and Rachel and, you know, Tamar and

Cecily Lachapelle (56:33.934)
Love it.

Megan Nilsen (56:48.586)
you know, whatever. mean, it's just like the list goes on and you're like, wow, Rahab. I mean, these women that you think, there's a blotch, there's a thing, but they all at some point in their life, they all come to a defining moment. Like the story distills to that defining moment of like, what are you going to do? Are you going to choose the right God honoring thing? Say the right God or not. And I do feel like for us, especially as women, like we, we

Cecily Lachapelle (56:51.501)
Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (57:10.872)
Right.

Megan Nilsen (57:15.67)
God trusts us and he loves us and he calls us into his kingdom work and we do have opportunities to choose the right thing. Not for image, not for whatever, but just to honor God. And the other thing I feel to say to anybody listening is like moms, grandmas, like this idea of perfectionism, we won't break any generational chains if our kids think that this is how we are.

Cecily Lachapelle (57:24.098)
Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (57:28.748)
Yes.

Megan Nilsen (57:44.038)
I, you know, my mom is so perfect. She's got her life figured out. So the more that you can in your 50s, 60s, 70s, 40s, 50s, reinvent yourself. Like show your kids the messy thing that you're going to try something new. Maybe it's a sport. Maybe it's a crafting project. Maybe for me, it's been like, I'm going to, I'm going to write a book. They're like, what? You're going to write a book? Yeah, I don't really know how to do that, but I'm going to do it. Like show your kids and your grandkids something that you are trying that you feel like God's given you a vision for.

Cecily Lachapelle (58:11.032)
Yes.

Megan Nilsen (58:13.92)
You don't know how it's gonna turn out. You're gonna be very open with them about the process and the mistakes you made and my goodness, I've spent all this money and now I gotta do this because if they see you trying new things, then you are modeling for them how to do it and how they can go out and try new things and make mistakes and learn from them rather than thinking, I guess my mom made all her mistakes in her 20s as she says, but I haven't seen her make any, I don't know what this is now.

Cecily Lachapelle (58:19.95)
Yep.

Cecily Lachapelle (58:25.037)
Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (58:29.739)
Yeah.

Cecily Lachapelle (58:40.3)
Right?

Megan Nilsen (58:43.188)
You know, so I hope we can just be loose and free in that for our kids and grandkids too.

Cecily Lachapelle (58:43.776)
Yes.

Cecily Lachapelle (58:48.846)
That is such a good word. I'm sure my kids picked up on that when I was writing my book because I was just some, I loved, I mean, I loved writing my book. I thought it was a great experience. enjoyed it. I enjoyed writing and I took a whole summer to do it, but the whole process was messy. I didn't have a writing coach. I'd never written a book. I'd never met anybody that had written a book. So I was.

fumbling around in the dark and it was very apparent. I mean the kids would reach out. can you babysit or you can do this? I'm like, I'm pulling my hair out right now. So No, no, can't can't there they saw the messiness. They saw that I was Trying something new and I didn't have all the answers and like you said spending money I shouldn't have spent taking a course. I actually didn't need and all the things you do

Megan Nilsen (59:30.518)
Yeah.

Cecily Lachapelle (59:45.806)
when you're just trying to figure it out. yeah. Well, you know, as we wrap this up, what I love and what I hope all of my listeners are gonna take away from this is that our identity in Christ actually has nothing to do with what we do. As moms, in our career, as friends, as daughters, as neighbors, our identity in Christ is completely rooted in what He did.

And therefore we can completely rest in our identity as a child of God instead of trying to earn love or prove ourself through our motherhood, through our accomplishments. And our relationship with God is transformed by our understanding that who we are in Christ is already settled. It's already a done deal.

We see all the cracks, we see all the flaws, we see all the faceplants, and those are real. It's not that those aren't, that they're not real, and our sin is real. It does need the blood of Jesus to cover it, but the Lord sees us through the lens of who we are in Christ. So it's that beautiful paradox of the now and the not yet. And it's just, it's a wonderful thing, and it brings so much rest.

to know that we are as loved and as accepted and as adored and cherished as we are ever going to be right now in all our mess.

Megan Nilsen (01:01:20.338)
Amen. Yeah. You're a preacher girl. You are. You're a teacher and a preacher so I hope you keep doing it.

Cecily Lachapelle (01:01:25.368)
Yeah

Cecily Lachapelle (01:01:31.458)
Well, thank you. And you are an encourager, man. You really are. You are. Well, and I am gonna have you close us out with prayer and encouragement. So from the mom listening today, who feels like she is just drowning in disappointment or pressure, what would you say to her? And then could you just close us up in some prayer? Awesome.

Megan Nilsen (01:01:50.348)
Sure, sure, sure, Yeah, I'll just pray. That's sort of me speaking and pray. We'll get it all. Lord Jesus, thank you for this incredible testimony time. You tell us that we overcome by the blood of the lamb, which Cecily just brought it. She said we are overcome by the blood of Jesus. It is finished. You said that at the cross. And we overcome by the word of our testimony. And so I pray.

Cecily Lachapelle (01:01:55.34)
I love it. Great. Let's do it.

Cecily Lachapelle (01:02:07.128)
Yeah.

Megan Nilsen (01:02:19.372)
as I share bits of my story, as Cecily shares bits of her story, that there's a ripple effect in the kingdom and really pulling on that thread for women that are listening to share your story. Share the vulnerability and be open to seeing God's hand at work. for anybody right now that is really feeling the weight of anxiousness and worry, maybe some depression, darkness,

Cecily Lachapelle (01:02:45.768)
Mm. Yeah.

Megan Nilsen (01:02:48.884)
Jesus, you are the light, your light. Just let your light shine brightly in their life that you would just pierce the darkness, that they would turn from the darkness and follow your light because that is the guidance, that is the saving grace. And thank you for sending us the Holy Spirit that lives inside of us, that is the comforter, the guide, the advocate that we need. You said greater works will we do than you ever did. And I truly believe it's because

Cecily Lachapelle (01:02:51.211)
is.

Cecily Lachapelle (01:03:07.83)
Yes.

Megan Nilsen (01:03:18.058)
the Holy Spirit is multiplied in each and every one of your followers and your believers. so I just pray your kingdom come and your will be done in the houses, in the homes, in the businesses, in the marriages, in the parenting of those that are listening right now. You promised to provide our every need. And so let us trust that. us run the race with endurance. You've given each woman that's listening a call.

Cecily Lachapelle (01:03:26.648)
Yeah.

Megan Nilsen (01:03:44.532)
Yes, there's a corporate call to love God and love our neighbor. And there's also that very personal call because you've planned good works for us that you planned long in advance. So what are the good works that you want her to do? How are you calling her into deeper joy and fulfillment and purpose as she dreams with you, as she envisions what could be in her life, in her marriage, in her family? Just.

We know that you work all things for the good of those who love you. So we are trusting that, we're claiming that and praying that over all the listeners today. We just pray in your name, amen.

Cecily Lachapelle (01:04:18.286)
Yes, amen, amen. Awesome. Well, tell the listeners now how they can connect with you and your message.

Megan Nilsen (01:04:23.254)
Thanks.

Megan Nilsen (01:04:27.04)
Sure. Okay, great. Yeah, I host a podcast called Kingdom Life Coaching as Cecily said, so you can find that on Apple, Spotify, wherever. So click and follow me over there. I'd love to hear from you. And then I'm on Instagram and Facebook mostly. So at Megan underscore Nielsen on Instagram, Megan Bradley Nielsen on Facebook, and then my website kind of is the housing of books and studies and whatever else, whatever else.

I'm creating with the Lord. that's meganbnilson.com and hanging out over there too.

Cecily Lachapelle (01:04:57.71)
So good. Well, check it out everybody. This was a powerful conversation. And I know that Megan's story has encouraged you to take a fresh look at where your identity is rooted and reminded you that your value isn't found in what you do, but in the fact that you are a beloved child of God. So if today's episode spoke to you, don't keep it to yourself. Come on, share it with a friend who might need the same reminder.

Megan Nilsen (01:05:01.708)
Thanks. Super fun.

Cecily Lachapelle (01:05:24.778)
And be sure to connect with Megan, check out her books, her coaching and her podcast. You can find it through the links that I'm gonna put in the show notes. And as always, tribe, thank you so much for joining me here on the Higher Pursuit podcast. Until next time, keep pursuing the higher things in Jesus because your story matters, your healing matters, your identity in Christ is unshakable. So until next time, I will see you next week.

God bless.