When Life Hits Hard: Turning Pain into Purpose and Setback into Strength

Guest: Holly Sweat-Raper

Life has a way of bringing seasons we never expected—loss, heartbreak, disappointment, rejection, health struggles, financial pressure, and dreams that seem to die. The question isn't if we'll face pain, but what we'll do with it.

In this encouraging episode of The Higher Pursuit Podcast, I sit down with psychotherapist, bestselling author, and founder of Created4Success, Holly Sweat-Raper, to discuss how God can transform our deepest wounds into places of healing, purpose, and impact.

Drawing from more than two decades of helping people overcome limiting beliefs—and from her own journey through devastating loss, health crises, and heartbreak—Holly shares practical wisdom for renewing your mind, rebuilding your confidence, and learning to live in victory even when life feels overwhelming.

Together, we explore:

• How to transform pain into purpose
• The difference between God's voice and shame or self-blame
• Why renewing your mind is essential for lasting healing
• Common lies that keep people trapped in defeat—and the biblical truth that sets us free
• Practical steps to rebuild your life after loss, rejection, or disappointment
• How to rediscover your identity and purpose when life knocks you down
• What it truly means to live in victory while still walking through difficult seasons

During our conversation, I also share how many of these same biblical principles became the foundation for my own healing journey and eventually inspired my book, Repurpose Your Pain. My prayer is that this episode helps you discover that your story isn't over and that God never wastes your pain.

Connect with Holly Sweat-Raper

Follow Holly: https://hollysweatraper.com/

Resources Mentioned

• Living in Victory, Not Defeat by Holly Sweat-Raper
• Repurpose Your Pain by Cecily Lachapelle

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

And then I said, But Lord, I'm tired and I'm scared. He said, What did I say? And I said, I don't know this one. Speak to me, Lord. And I heard, Cecily, I heard so not audibly, but clearly in my spirit. I heard, daughter, I turned the water into wine at the end of the wedding. Wait till you see what I'm going to do next.

SPEAKER_01 0:21

Amen. Amen.

SPEAKER_02 0:25

Romans 8:18. I consider your current suffering not worth comparing to the glory I will reveal in you. Lord, how are you gonna turn this around?

SPEAKER_00 0:43

Hey there, friends. I'm Cecily LaChapelle, and this is the Higher Pursuit Podcast. I'm so glad that you're tuned into this podcast where we talk specifically about things that will encourage you and strengthen you in your pursuit of the Lord. For more content, check out our ministry website at HigherPursuit Ministries.com. You can also find me on YouTube at Cecily LaChapelle with Higher Pursuit Ministries. Okay, now let's dive into the podcast. Hey everyone, and welcome to the Higher Pursuit live stream and podcast. I'm your host, Cecily LaChappelle, and I'm so glad you're here. This is a space where we are pursuing more of Jesus in our everyday, sometimes messy lives. It's where we talk about real life, real pain, and victory over defeat. And in this episode, we have a very special guest who is just the person to bring truth and encouragement to anyone listening who is in emotional pain or searching for meaning in their challenges, someone who wants both spiritual encouragement and concrete steps forward, not just platitudes. So if that's you, put me in the comments. If you're someone who wants both spiritual encouragement for what to do in your darkest valley or your challenges or the places where things just you're you're struggling to even get clarity and you want those cons concrete steps forward, put me in the comments. So, guys, if you're watching this on YouTube, you can see that I am not alone in this live stream. I have a lovely guest with me tonight, the my very good friend, who we we've actually never met face to face, but yet we are just sisters from another mista. And her name is Holly Sweat Raper. And before Holly and I get chatting, I just want to introduce her to you so you will know who it is that's dropping wisdom on you tonight, because she is going to do that. So Holly is a psychotherapist, a best-selling author. She's the founder of Created for Success, a movement helping people turn adversity into purpose. After walking through devastating loss, health crises, and heartbreak, Holly discovered how to transform pain into purpose and setbacks into strength. For over 20 years, she's helped thousands of people renew their mindset and rebuild their lives. She's the best-selling author of The Secrets of Landing a Job and her brand new book, Living in Victory, Not Defeat, which launches next month. Welcome, Holly, and thank you so much for being on with us.

SPEAKER_02 3:43

Oh, Cecily, I am so excited to be on your podcast again and being live with you. And even though you're for your listeners, we have not met in person. Let me tell you something. She is such a godly sister and such an incredible friend and inspiration to me. We get on the phone chatting and encourage and inspire one another because, as we all know, we are not to do life alone. And it's the Lord, He keeps putting amazing people in our lives. So I am so blessed to be here with you and to let's get started.

SPEAKER_00 4:30

Amen. Amen. Awesome, awesome. Oh, Whitney said, I agree. That's awesome. And Lisa Demurs is here, Kate is here, Pat is here. Fantastic. I'm so glad you guys are starting to file in. Well, in this episode, my friends, we are talking about something that every single one of us has faced: moments when life hits hard. Put a thumbs up in the chat if life has ever hit you hard. Well, my friend Holly is living proof that pain doesn't have to be the end of your story. It can actually be the beginning of where you start locking in to a deeper level of your purpose. All right, John, put a thumbs up in the chat. Yes, life has definitely hit my husband hard. That is for true. It's it hit it's hit us both hard on many opportunities. So, Holly, for those in my tribe who don't know you, could you just give us an overview of your story and what led you to write Living in Victory, not defeat? I know you wrote a whole book about it, but just give us an overview.

SPEAKER_02 5:37

Well, and and like I like we both said, every single one of us has walked through storms. And this is what we know is our God is so big and he is so good. And so often he doesn't stop the storm. He's just greater than a storm. And so Living in Victory Not to Feet is my most recent book. And what I found, Cecily, is Living in Victory Not to Feet is not just a book, it truly is a motto of life because we all have crossroads and we think, Lord, how are we gonna go through this? And so often he's going, listen, just as Peter is when when Peter stepped out of the boat and he started walking on water. Now we all know he couldn't have walked on water even there wasn't a storm. Come on, right there was already miracle, but he's walking on water and then he starts to sink, right? When we're in the storm and we have our eyes focused on Jesus, what happens is we get caught up on the things that are happening to us. We I was getting caught up, my husband had stage four kidney cancer, and we were in the season of our life that our twins, boy-girl twins, were off to college, we were empty nesting, life was going so well. We were about to do the season of dating each other again and having fun, and and although we didn't have a lot of money, but still, you know, we had some money and we were gonna do all these things, and then all of a sudden, there's a diagnosis that he he might not live for a couple months, and and it totally, totally blew us out of the water. But here's the thing going back to Peter, is we started to sink until we got our eyes focused back on Jesus again. Because when he said to Peter, you have little faith, what he said was not that he was disappointed, because Peter was the only one who got out of the boat. What he said is you got your eyes off of me. Because the miraculous can happen when you keep your eyes focused on me. And that's what this entire book is about. It is about the times that we got hit with such storms of the cancer being on my husband's kidney. There was a tumor the size of a football on his kidney. When they removed it, they had to remove part of his rib. I mean, it was crazy. He had a rare disease called Stofer syndrome, where his liver was starting to shut down. Two weeks after the nephrectomy, he saw a bright light and couldn't read. And here he had a brain tumor. So the cancer had metastasized to his brain, to his lungs, to his ribs. And I mean, every time we turned around, we were getting hit by something. And all through that, I am telling you what, we serve a God that's not just a God of the mountains, but a God of the valley. And when I say that, there were times, and I know your listeners know this. There are times when you're just going, Lord, thank you so much. And there's only 24 hours in a day because I can't make the day, I can't make the hour, and there's sometimes I can't make the minute, and I'm not strong enough to hold on, Lord, and he says, It's okay. You don't have to hold on, just be held. And that's when he holds us, and he's there, and and you know that is there. I saw things that I can never unsee. I heard things that I can never unhear. And we saw miracle after miracle about and miracle, and that's why I have hope and strength and belief, because I know that I know that I know that my God is real.

SPEAKER_00 9:57

Amen. Amen. So I have talked with so many people who are navigating the trauma of grief, especially the death of a loved one. And I don't want to give away like the whole plot of the book, but you dealt with grief. You have had to walk through that. How did grief collide with your theology of victory? Because you were already teaching and talking about victory and helping people move forward in their lives. How what happened when grief happened and it collided with your theology of victory? And how did you, like Peter, come out of it on the other side? Right, right.

SPEAKER_02 10:42

Well, like I said, and that's such a great question. Thank you so much for asking that. Is a couple of things. First, we need to be prepared to answer those tough questions. Those questions like, aren't you mad at God? And and that's it, that's a really good question. And and so I would answer that and say, my husband was an incredible father. And so anytime the twins got hurt and they went to their dad, he was there to comfort them or to make it better. Never did they ever think that their dad caused the problem. And it's the same way with our heavenly father. James 1 says, I cannot be tempted by evil, nor will I tempt by evil. So God did not cause the cancer, he was there to comfort or to make it better, right? Um, but he wasn't the cause of the problem. And the reason my kids knew that their dad could be trusted is they spent time with him. The way I knew my heavenly father didn't cause this, but because I spent time with him. There you go. But also, so so I wasn't expecting Dan to pass. I was expecting continued manifestations of healing that I had seen for over two years. I mean, miraculous tumor goes down in my hand, hearing uh the Lord give me names of people that I did not know. I mean, just absolutely outright out of acts. I I can't wait till you read it. But when Dan did pass, and the Lord revealed to me, Holly, he's not dead, he's transferred with me, he's living completely victoriously. I am not done with you yet. Come on, but now it's life had completely changed. Yes, and um, and it was probably three months after um Dan passed, and I woke up in a just a drenched of sweat at three o'clock in the morning with the devil hitting me with lies that sound like truth, right? And saying, Your husband is gone, no one will ever love you like he did. You're no longer a wife, your kids are older, they've moved away, you're no longer a mother, you're not needed anymore, you're totally alone. Um, you haven't really worked a lot for the last two years. So, what are you gonna do about it? Your job, you're gonna have to sell your house, you don't have any more finances. I mean, just boom, boom, boom, of everything. And I just woke up just shaking. Oh my, I can imagine and and going, Lord, you hear this? And this is I love this because the Lord will his his children hear him. My sheep hear my voice. And I said, Lord, you hear this? And he said, Yes, what did I say? And I said, Well, you told me I have more authority than him. And he said, That's right. Stop talking to me about your problem and start talking to your problem about me. Yes, he said, Satan, leave. You have no authority, I am the daughter of the king. Leave this house now. So he left.

SPEAKER_00 14:16

Come on, amen.

SPEAKER_02 14:18

Like, now I have these thoughts, right? And I'm like, Lord, what about my finances? I mean, Dan was an attorney, and so I can't live the way I was used to living. I have to sell my house. I have to, and he said, What did I say? And I said, You said you would take care of my needs according to your riches and glory, and you have unlimited resources. He said, That's right. I said, But Lord, I'm completely alone. He said, What did I say? I said, You said you would never leave me or forsake me. And I said, But Lord, what about my job? He said, What did I say? And I said, You said I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope in a future. And then I said, But Lord, I'm I'm tired and I'm scared. He said, What did I say? And I said, I don't know this one. Speak to me, Lord. And I heard, Cecily, I heard so not audibly, but clearly in my spirit. I heard, daughter, I turned the water into wine at the end of the wedding. Wait till you see what I'm going to do next.

SPEAKER_01 15:41

Amen. Amen.

SPEAKER_02 15:46

Romans 8 18. I consider your current suffering not worth comparing to the glory I will reveal in you. Lord, how are you gonna turn this around? He said, just watch.

SPEAKER_01 15:56

Just watch.

SPEAKER_02 15:57

But here's the thing, and you know this because you just got done teaching a whole month of the word. Yeah, the word will set you free, the truth will set you free, but only the truth you know. So if you say no, John 3:16, you are not walking with a lot of hope and a lot of authority.

SPEAKER_00 16:18

Yes, exactly, right? Exactly, exactly. All right, and we're gonna hit pause for one second because I I want to start um rehearsing some of the things that Holly said because she just, I told you, I warned you she was gonna drop a lot of wisdom on you. And there was so much in what she just said. So the first thing that she said about the mindset shift of going from that grief of listening to the lies, she had to understand, had to know how to hear the voice of God for herself. So that when she got into this dark valley that she wasn't prepared for, she was not prepared. She was believing Dan was going to be healed. And she had every reason to believe that he would. But there is always the possibility that the Lord has a different, Lord's gonna work it out in a different way. And so he wasn't healed. And now she's walking through this grief. You're in grief, if you've been through grief, which I haven't been through grief of someone so super close to me, except for my father. And that was a little bit different because we were sort of estranged at the time of his death. However, when I've seen people go through the grief, the loss of a husband, a child, a parent that they were really close to, it's like the carpet of your life has just pulled, been pulled out from underneath you, and you are fair game for the enemy. It's one of the weakest times, the darkest valleys that you have. But you can also have the death of a dream. Maybe it's not an actual person. Maybe it's a dream, something that you have counted on your whole life. And whether it's a marriage that ends in divorce or a career that's pulled, yanked out from you, and you've worked your entire life to be in this position. And now you're thinking, who am I? What do I do? My identity is gone. All of this, every single valley that we go through is the opportunity for us to, as Holly said, look to Jesus and listen to his voice. And like Holly said, it's so important that we know the word. Do you hear what happened as she was talking with the Lord? He asked her a question. And then when she said, I don't know, or she asked a question, he answered with the word. We just talked about that in the live stream last week, how Jesus answered the devil with the word, with the anointed word. And that's what Holly did. So don't just think that that strategy is for Jesus Christ. It's for us. We have to know the word and we have to know our Father's voice so that we can hear him when he speaks and recognize it, but also so that we can take that word, store it up in our heart, and it can come out of our mouth when we need it in those difficult times. That was so great, Holly. Thank you so much for sharing that. I I mean, I have to say, my journey has been so similar. Everything that I teach is something that God's walked me through first. And yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:36

And and I tell you, you just I'm like writing notes as you were talking because because uh so so many things is so let's just go to hearing the word. Come on. So when um so so I got angry because I I was doing really well. I mean, I was believing, I was, I mean, I wasn't hoping Dan was gonna get better. I believed it. Yes. So when he slipped into a coma and he was in the hospice bed, and I was down on my knees just crying, going on, I don't understand. I don't understand. Here is the thing is I heard in my spirit, go get my word. And I'm like, I mean, I I turned into a three-year-old. Is he fit? No, I'm not gonna get the word. And I heard, go get my word, and I was like, no, third time, go get my word. So I went and I got it and I put it against my chest, and I'm down on my knees, and I said, But I'm not gonna open it. And and he, this is what's amazing, Cecily, is God did not chastise me. He said, You don't have to open it because you already know it, and all of a sudden, Holy Spirit was pulling out all of the scripture that He says, I will never leave you or forsake you. I know the plans I have for you, and and I will take what the devil meant for evil and turn it into good. And death, where is your staying? God, he is completely with me. And what happened was all the things that I had planted in my heart, he was drawing out. So you're exactly right. We cannot wait until the storm hits because at three o'clock in the morning, I wasn't opening my Bible, right? I was not opening my Bible, but what Holy Spirit was doing is he was pulling out the seeds that were. Already planted.

SPEAKER_01 22:02

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 22:02

And we live in a day right now where, oh my word, we can hear the word on podcasts, we can hear the word on, you know, all kinds of uh apps out there. We have the YouTube app, we have the Bible app, we have if people go, but I don't like to read, well, there's a lot of ways to get the word inside our spirit, and we can say it over and over and over again. But when that word gets in there, he gets to pull it out because we will, if you are not in a storm right now, you will go, or you want to help somebody that's in the storm, yes, ma'am. And so it is vital that we know his promises. The other thing is you said is when things don't turn out the way you think they're going to, which is so often life, right? And so I'll never forget our pastor said, Little faith, shadrach, meish, and abendigo faith. We all want that, right? Yes, little faith is going, I know God can't, will, can. Is saying, I know God will. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abendigo faith is even if he doesn't. Yeah, yes, even if he doesn't, I still believe.

SPEAKER_01 23:29

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 23:30

That's that's the one that people go, wait a minute. And here's the thing: the Lord, when I wrote the last chapter of my book, and I was going, Lord, how do you want me to start this chapter? Because I know how this chapter ends. And he says, I want you to start it with Joe 42, 12. I'll bless your latter years more than your first.

SPEAKER_01 23:55

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 23:56

And I thought, Lord, they're gonna read that Dan went to be with you. How is that blessing my latter years more than my first? And he said, Because I don't stop the storm, I am helping you see me in the storm. I'm giving you a heavenly perspective that you can walk on water, that you can rise above your circumstances. Every one of my children do not need to be defined by their circumstances, but by their identity and who they are and how they can walk in it, and the promise that I will give them hope even here on earth, not just in heaven, but give you blessings and all the resources that you need here on earth, even though you're going through the storm.

SPEAKER_00 24:51

Yes, yes, and when we're in the middle of that storm, and I think everybody that's on this live stream can attest to the fact that when we're in the middle of it, that is our world in that moment. Yeah, and we can't see five minutes down the road, let alone five days or five years. But the Lord can, and He sees how He can work even the most horrible effects of what the devil has done, the horrible wreckage that we're living in, as we are standing in the middle of ashes, thinking this is it. I mean, what can you do with ashes? There's a scripture for that. Jesus said, I'll be giving you beauty for ashes.

SPEAKER_02 25:38

Well, and and and that's why he gave us the living word, because we can go a testimony. You can't have a testimony without a test.

SPEAKER_01 25:47

There you go.

SPEAKER_02 25:48

You can have a message without a mess. I mean, we look at Joseph, we resonate with Joseph because he could have taken those as um setbacks instead of stepping stones, but we're able to see that God can work all things for the good. Only God can take crucifixion and make it resurrection. Who would have ever told Mary that the night she watched her son being tortured and crucified on the cross, that was going to be good Friday, right? Right, exactly. But and people go, but God could have stopped it. No, he couldn't have. Because the one thing that God gave us is choice.

SPEAKER_01 26:32

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 26:33

So for him to stop all evil, he gave us authority, he gave us choice, so he would have to make us robots. We were created in his image, so he doesn't take away choice. But what he does promise is if you look at him, if we he we understand his principles, his precepts, if we walk in that way, and it's it's not we have to do it ourselves, he does it in us and through us. Yes, all we have to do is be willing to say yes and amen.

SPEAKER_00 27:10

Yes, you know, as you're talking, I'm thinking about the 23rd Psalm. And I was meditating on that earlier today and thinking about how that psalm is really talking about where we live right now in that interim space between the now and the not yet. We have victory in Jesus, but we are still living in a fallen world. We're still living where sin reigns through people, so people can hurt us. Sometimes we hurt ourselves. There's just natural disasters, there's natural um sickness and things that happen in this world. So we're not living in heaven yet, but we have heaven in us. So because we're in that interim place, what does the Lord say? He says, I'll prepare a table before you, where? In the presence of your enemies. So we still have enemies, but right in the middle of all of that, he says, I will prepare a table. He also says, I'm going to be that shepherd. He, I, my rod and my staff will take care of you and protect you and guide you. If we were living in heaven, we wouldn't need a shepherd. We wouldn't need to be guided, we wouldn't need to be protected. So he's saying, I will anoint your head with oil, I will prepare everything you need. So essentially, he's saying, I'm going to be everything you need. So when you are walking through the valley of the shadow of death, you don't have to fear that evil because I'm going to be with you.

SPEAKER_02 28:48

And and people say, Andrew Wilmack says this, and I love it. He says, when people say, I'm just human, he says, No, you're not. He says, I'm not just human, I am one third Holy Ghost. Because we are spirit, soul, and body, right? And so we have the same spirit of Christ that lives in us. And so we can walk, we're not, we don't have to fight for victory, we're fighting from victory. We already know the end of the story, and we win. Yes. And so the question is when we get hit, and we get hit hard. I mean, honestly, I I can't the the loss of the your best friend, the one you love, the person you you want to spend that. We were married 25 years. I mean, everything changes. But this is what I know. This is what I I do know is everything can go. Your your money can go, your career can go, your finances can go, your um, the people that you love can be lost. But the one thing that is eternal is God. And so I've been to the cemetery, you don't take anything with you, you don't take a U-Haul. It's only the stuff, the impact that you make, the lives that you touch.

SPEAKER_01 30:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:23

And and we were each, we were each created for a purpose. We were each created for success and for impact. So every single person listening has gone through difficulties in life, and God can take those and use that to show people that you can overcome. You now have victory, you now have authority to speak hope into somebody else's life. We can choose to be bitter or better. We can choose to take that test and make it a testimony of God's goodness, of his faithfulness in giving people hope. We can understand and have that mindset shift and see things from an eternal perspective, but only if we get in the word and have wisdom that only he can give us.

SPEAKER_00 31:21

Yes, yes, that's so good. Hey, listen, before we go further, I want to hear from you who are watching. Drop in the chat what is one season of life that hit hard for you? We're gonna come back to your answers later on in the show, but I want to hear. So drop in the chat a season of life that hit hard. Okay. All right, so Holly, let's go on. Um, let me ask you this early in your story, which lie felt the most convincing?

SPEAKER_02 31:56

Well, and and it was really funny because so so let me say this one is so I have written two books. And and the one secrets of landing the job and living in victory, not to feed. But Cecily, my entire life, I was terrible in English. Um, um, I I I I was a math science person. My husband Dan, 25 years of marriage, he would say things to the children, don't go to your mother for help in English. Oh my gosh. Right? She can't speak, she can't get two sentences together without confusing things. In fact, she needs to take English as a second language. 25 years of hearing because he was an attorney, he was very gifted in um he would use words like ubiquitous. Who uses words like ubiquitous? I mean, just he had an incredible vocabulary, and I was just like, and I didn't read much, so scared to death to to to write or think anything I have to say. So when the Lord told me I need you to write, I was like, oh no, Lord, you don't understand down here, everybody knows I can't write. And it was like right, and it's like, here's the thing: what is the lie that is keeping you from walking in your purpose? Because everybody, the whole world has said, Oh, you're not good at this, and you're not good at that. Listen, the Lord will does not call the equipped, he equips the called. So everything he has called us to do, he will give us the resources and the ability to do it. Do you remember Moses was like, Lord, but I can't speak. Well, then Lord went, Oh gosh, Moses, sorry, I didn't know that. Let me find somebody else. God is not limited to our weaknesses, He's saying, Take your weakness and just bring it to me. Whatever you have, bring it to me and let me multiply it. Your two fish and five loaves. I mean, right? Whatever you have. Yes, and so it was just a matter of going, oh, I can't do this, but Lord, you said I can do all things, yes, you give us green. So changing what we say to ourselves with the truth, yes, now fact is not the truth, the fact that I was getting C's and D's in English was a fact. Truth is that I could learn that I could do if I if I worked at it, that God would give me the ability that anything He's called me to do, He will not only see me to it, but see me through it, and He will actually do it. He's just looking for a yes and amen. So that was the biggest thing is retraining my mind, even when, and you know what it's like writing a book. Yeah, going over it and going, going, Lord, oh my word. And just Do I even have anything people want to read?

SPEAKER_00 35:24

Do I have anything to say? Is this good? Yes.

SPEAKER_02 35:31

Yes, all the lies, all the lies of who and I said to somebody one time, I don't have anything to say that hasn't been said before. And they looked at me and said, Holly, nobody has said anything that hasn't been said before. It's just that everybody says it differently. Yes, but you know what? We use excuses to stay where we're at.

SPEAKER_00 35:59

Yes, yes, and don't you think, Holly, that pain walking through a valley actually gives you more excuses to work with? I I I can't move forward because I lost my job, or I can't move forward because I'm I'm reeling from this divorce. Oh, I can't move forward, I can't be productive for the Lord or or lock into my purpose because I'm still reeling in grief. Like, do we do we use excuses because of that dark valley that we wouldn't even pull on in a normal day?

SPEAKER_02 36:38

Well, and and and and again, then we go back to choice, right? Is do we want to stay a victim or a victor?

SPEAKER_00 36:44

There you go. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:46

And and you know, God posed that with me so many times. Um, and I say this in the early chapters of my books because people were like, Holy, how are you having so much faith and how come you're so strong? Well, I went through so many wars before I ever got to the story of this cancer. But one was yes, I was married before Dan. And I was married to a Christian rock and roll musician, our wedding was televised. I mean, it was just it's an amazing story. But seven years into the marriage, he was like, I don't want to do this anymore.

SPEAKER_01 37:21

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 37:22

So absolutely devastated. We were like the perfect Christian couple. I mean, it was just like never, ever, ever imagine. I was living in Atlanta, my husband left me for another woman. Um, and and I was working at this incredible uh counseling center where I had built it up. Um, I was the executive director, but the CEO of the counseling center was a terrible businessman, great psychologist. But when he wanted meetings, he wanted to take me off to the side and just have me with him. And as I was bringing other counselors in, they were like, Holly, you don't need to be going off with the CEO out of the office because we think he's in love with you. And I'm like, Yeah, I want a Christian, I'm married, naive. So I said to the boss, listen, if we're having meetings, let's have him in the office. So then I went, my door was locked, my files were, and he fired me and told everybody it was for other reasons. So now this all happened at one time. My husband leaves me, I I I lose my job, and I had to sell my house. I couldn't afford to keep my dog, I couldn't afford an apartment. I I had to rent a room in a woman's house. It was like loser, loser, loser, loser. And anyway, the the story is so inspirational to read, but it talks about how I ended up getting this tiny little apartment in Buckhead in Atlanta. And I'm sharing this little apartment and I'm getting my clients back. So now they're coming up and they're going, wow, you've really moved up because I have the shared secretary. They thought the whole floor suite was mine, but it was just my little floor. But I remember thinking, Lord, if these people who were coming to me for counseling knew what an incredible loser I was. I can't keep my husband, I couldn't keep my dog, I don't have a house. I'm renting a room from a woman. My boss fired me. I am like the biggest loser. Talk about imposter phenomena.

SPEAKER_01 39:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:49

And I just thought, what am I doing? And I heard, people, please hear this. I heard the Lord say, you are not defined by your circumstances. You are a daughter of the king. There's skills and experience that you have are not for you. They're to help others. So you keep your eyes focused on me because here's the thing: when we're so caught up in our own pain, God created each of us to be bigger than ourselves. We're here to impact others' lives, to help, to give hope, to give inspiration. The same hope and inspiration and comfort that God gives us, we are to give others. And so God said, Stop just holding on to everything I'm giving you. You keep, you help them, you help others. Stop thinking about yourself and stop using the gifts and skills and ability I give you to help others. And that's exactly how I wrote Secrets of Landing the Job. Yeah. Because I said to people, listen, you when you lose your job, your job is what you get paid for, your career is what you're made for. You still have gifts, skills, and experience that someone else needs. Who can you help? It's not that you need help. Who can and so when we do that mindset shift, get out of ourselves and see who we can help? Instead of looking at problem semen's opportunities, then all of a sudden that's kingdom-minded.

SPEAKER_00 41:27

Right.

unknown 41:28

Right.

SPEAKER_00 41:28

Right. Yes, yes. So in both secrets of landing the job and living in victory, not defeat, you focus heavily on mindset renewal. So why is learning to recognize truth versus lies so critical to transforming someone's life?

SPEAKER_02 41:46

And in in the psychological world, that's called cognitive behavioral theory. But let me tell you what that means. It means that the way we think affects how we feel, how we feel affects our actions, and the actions affect the results. So if the if the thought, we can't go, oh, stop being depressed. The depression is just a feeling. The feeling's coming because of the way you think, right? Yeah. So going back to the person who lost their job, right? Instead of this happened to me, this happened for me. So if you think, wait a minute, I have gifts, skills, experience, then the feeling is somebody else can use what I have to offer. So now that you have momentum, because it's not about you need help, you have help to offer. So then when you go out and you start talking to people, you don't feel like you're begging or asking a question. Then all of a sudden you're going, tell me what your needs are, and let me tell you what I've done. And the results are you end up being a solution to someone's problem. Versus feeling, I'm a loser, who's gonna hire me? I need help. It's like the drowning man. Oh, they're gonna see I'm helped, so they're just gonna be like, sorry, swim away, swim away. And the result is you say the depression, right?

SPEAKER_01 43:22

Right.

SPEAKER_02 43:23

And it's the same people go, Well, Holly, yeah, but you don't understand. I lost my husband. But they're you know, twice divorce and death, terrible. But boy, did God give me skills to use in counseling, right? More tools in my toolbox. But but so Dan's death, it is I could take it mindset. I'm a widow, I'm alone, no one's ever gonna love me. I'm depressed, I gained 52 pounds. I'm walking around depressed and sorry and pitiful, and my whole life just goes into a pit of despair. Okay, how many of us have been there? You know, I know what a single serving of a dozen donuts is like. I get it. Um, but we don't for me it's ice cream, and that's where I drown my sorrow.

SPEAKER_00 44:22

But we don't need to stay there, right? One scoop is comfort, three scoops is just peace. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:30

And then we get on the scale and go, how did that happen?

SPEAKER_01 44:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:34

But that's why it's a matter of it's it's it's the same thing. I mean, if we're putting junk in our brains, we're gonna get we're gonna feel fatigued, just like we're eating potato chips and ice cream and donuts, you know. I mean, it it's the lie is it's comfort for a second. And then you feel like crap, it's the same way with what the things we're we're saying to ourselves. So often it's not a matter of, and I don't know about you, but sometimes the voices in my head are so loud that I actually need to listen to scripture. Yes, to I've done that, go to bed because my my brain is saying, Who would want to listen to you?

SPEAKER_00 45:20

Remember, you don't have anything to say, you can't write you know, and I'm like and also when the voices of fear are are screaming. I remember when I was really sick with COVID, I had to find um a YouTube video that was three hours of a gentleman just speaking scripture, healing scriptures with some music behind. And I just I listened to that. I didn't want to watch television, I didn't want to read a book. I I was like a thirsty person crawling out of the Sahara. I wanted the word, but yet I my my I had this fever that just wouldn't go and I felt terrible. And so I needed someone to read the word to me. And that was my comfort, that was my medicine, and that was how I combated the voice of fear because man, that was like a spirit of fear that attacked me when I had COVID. I was seeing all the worst-case scenarios and I had to be like, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, don't think that, don't think that. And whatever you do for the love of God, Cecily, don't say anything in agreement with that. So I had to surround myself with scripture when I was just too weak to open the Bible and stand up and war for myself. Right. The the word of God was that that shield around me. It was it worked.

SPEAKER_02 46:38

Well, and and I love that because darling, it wasn't just a shield, it was also your sword, right?

SPEAKER_03 46:43

Amen.

SPEAKER_02 46:44

And we have that is such a great point, Cecily, such a powerful point, is that we have this, we're going into spiritual warfare constantly, right? We don't fight against flesh and blood, but against principalities. And the thing about it is, is how many people are gonna go into war without a weapon? And yet, Christians do it all the time. They walk in to a spiritual war without the weapon, which is the word of God. The other thing is they don't know how to yield it. Okay, so somebody gave me a sword, but I don't know how to use it. Well, you gotta practice. Yes, right, and that is what because when you're really, really in a spiritual warfare, like when my husband was taking his last breath, man, I needed that sword, and I didn't even realize that I had been practicing with it for years, so good, and so it just it was binding, just as, and just so your folks know, Cecily and I went into spiritual warfare right before we went on this YouTube uh uh live, is we started having technology problems, and it's so funny because the word of God says, I have given you keys to the king's kingdom to access resources. So that's exactly what we did, folks. It says, I'll give you the king to the keys to the kingdom. Now, here's the thing: so often we knock at the door of God's heaven and say, Won't you let us in? And he said, Wait a minute, didn't I give you the keys? Correct. I give you the keys. Why are you knocking? Just use your keys. And I'm like, What's the keys? What's the keys? And the key is whatever we bind on earth will be bound in heaven, whatever we loose on earth will be loose in heaven. So if we bind um lies, if we bind greed, if we bind disease and um health issues, and then we loose healing and uh peace and blessing and favor and mercy. Yeah, that isn't asking for permission, that's governing what authority we have been given, so it unleashes.

SPEAKER_00 49:07

That's it. That's it exactly because we are co-regents with God on the earth. He told us to pray, let your kingdom come and your will be done on earth as it is going being done in heaven. Yeah, if God want if God could bypass us and just have his will just come down, he would do it that way. But he chose to have us be the ones who will pray his will into the earth, uh, partnering with him in that. Well, I'm looking at the clock and I just want to give a quick pause. Guys, if you are loving this conversation, do me a favor, hit subscribe so you don't miss an episode. Smash that like button. And if you're listening on the podcast app, just go that extra step and drop us a rating and review. It seriously helps more people find conversations just like this one. All right, so Holly, I think we have time for one last question. I'm just trying to think which one I want to ask you. Um let's see. Okay. You often say that people were created for success, purpose, and impact. How can someone rediscover their identity and purpose when life has completely knocked them down?

SPEAKER_02 50:21

Hmm, I love it. I love it. And and think about that is we were each uh each and every one of us was created for a purpose. God knew before we were even born what was going to happen to us. Not that he caused it, but but he knew the victory that we would have in it, and that he knew how to equip us and has given us everything we need to walk in this life in victory. I mean, he wrote a whole book, a whole instruction book on how to do it. Now we just have to get into it. The other thing is is for success. Success. John Maxwell says success is not measured by material gain, how many possessions you have, what your position is. Success is based on the impact you have on others' lives. And my beautiful, beautiful friend Cecily, the impact that you have on your family, on your friends, on your listeners, um, giving them the word, giving them you have no idea the seeds that you are planting and the harvest that will be developed from the truth that comes from your obedience and your words.

SPEAKER_01 51:51

I receive that. Amen.

SPEAKER_02 51:52

Each and every one of us was created just for that. Um, there are going to be people, Cecily, that have no idea who Holly Sweatrabor is. They have no idea who Cecily is, they have no idea who John Maxwell is, but they know who they are. And so they have the opportunity and an invitation from the Lord to say, get bring hope, bring encouragement, bring a word, bring a listening ear. They don't have to know all the scripture, they just have to know what Jesus did to change their life, the woman at the well.

SPEAKER_00 52:34

Yes, yes. And so many times I'm talking to people and the rug has been pulled out from underneath them. They are in a valley of devastation. And I say a couple of things. I always say, well, don't ever leave your valley of devastation without a revelation.

SPEAKER_01 52:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 52:50

Because when when you are, I mean, when you're walking through hell, just don't stop. So that's and that's what happens with a lot of people where they do, they just stop and sit and wallow. You're just supposed to take notes on your way through, because every place the sole of our feet tread, we have been given that. So if you're walking through the valley of having a child who's an addict, take notes because I tell you what, your ministry is other parents of addicts. If you're walking through divorce, take notes on how God was there for you. Take notes on the things he said, just like Holly took notes of the conversation she had when the enemy was lying to her. She she took notes and she can repeat that conversation verbatim. Why? Because she knew one day this mess is going to be my ministry and this is going to, and little did she know she was actually going to write a book about it. And same, I wrote that in um Repurpose Your Pain. I said, you know, if I knew that every single skeleton from my closet was actually going to be a chapter in my book, I it would have curled my toes. However, now I see how all of the pain that I went through is now the message that I can turn around and like the children's story, Hansel and Gretel, where they left breadcrumbs so that they could, other people could follow or so they could find their way back out. I can leave breadcrumbs now. And Holly is leaving breadcrumbs for you in her book of how to move from defeat to victory, how you can live in victory and not defeat. So, Holly, give people a 30-second teaser of what is inside the book, just a little bit, and then I want you to tell people where they can grab that book when it goes live in August.

SPEAKER_02 54:36

Oh my goodness, there is so much great things in the book. But I wanted to share with you, it was funny. Um, I started writing a Bible study based on Living in Victory, not to feet. And so in one of the areas, I was like, Lord, how am I supposed to teach mindset? How is that coming out? But let me tell you what came out of uh chapter two, just chapter two of Living in Victory, not to feet, where people go, Oh, I'm so lost, I'm so bad. I have, I used to walk with the Lord, now I'm not. And God was showing me the importance of mindset, and He gave me, and I thought this was so fabulous. But when people read my book, Living in Victory, Not Defeat, my prayer is they don't just read my story, they see their story in it and where God showed up, and how they had at different places opportunity to trust God or not to trust God. But it's the story is not over. But this is one of the things that he gave me, and this is what came out of chapter two is choices we make, and he gave me the example of Judas and Peter.

SPEAKER_03 55:47

What?

SPEAKER_02 55:47

And it said, two men, two failures, two different endings. Judas betrayed Jesus, Peter denied him, both failed, both felt the weight, but everything changed with one decision, choice. Judas had a breakdown, Peter had a breakthrough, Judas gave up, Peter looked up, Judas rejected mercy, Peter received it. Judas lived in condemnation, Peter walked in restoration, Judas ended in despair, Peter lived in purpose. The difference wasn't the sin, it was the response. And living in victory, not defeat, as people were going through their pain, their hardship, their their shame, their offense, their bitterness, whatever it is, it all boils down to choice.

SPEAKER_01 56:36

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 56:37

Are you going to receive grace and mercy and walk in it and become who God created you to be? Or are you going to be like Judas and beat yourself up and think that there is no hope? And the very thing that Christ did on the cross to actually say, Lord, I'm sorry that wasn't enough.

unknown 56:59

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 57:00

When it was. Yes. Amen.

SPEAKER_00 57:02

Amen. That is so good. That is so good. All right. So we are we're going to just wrap up this conversation. I think you guys can see why I love Holly. I could totally talk to her for hours. She is so encouraging. I'm telling you, you want to get her book. So all of the links for her um book website and her other Created for Success website, all of her social media will all be in the description here and also on the Higher Pursuit podcast description. So you'll be able to follow Holly in all the places. But before I have Holly pray for us, I did receive a word, a couple words today. There's somebody who is listening to this, and I believe that you're probably you're uh you're you're probably in the replay listening, and you feel completely unseen. You feel unseen by people around you, forgotten, not valuable, but most importantly, you feel unseen by God. You feel like you have been crying out to God and you feel like you're hearing crickets, like you are not hearing from God. And the Lord said, tell this person that I am with them, that they are not invisible, that they are not an orphan, that I have called them my daughter, my son, that I am speaking, but they are allowing the voices of fear, they are allowing the voices of shame to speak louder, and it's drowning out my voice. So tell this one, get back in my word, get back in prayer. You've turned your back on me because you're upset and you're disappointed, but it's time to give me a chance again because I am ready to speak. And when you do, I am going to silence those other voices and silence the noise and speak to you so clearly that there will be no doubt that you are mine and you've always been mine, says the Lord. All right. I thank you so much for your time. And I I'm so grateful for our friendship. I'm so grateful that you wrote this book, that you took the time. I've been a part of Holly's, not a part of Holly's journey, but I've known her since she started writing this book. So over the last 14 months, she and I have had conversations off and on. So I feel like I've been just watching this whole thing unfold. It is so absolutely, totally cool. All right. Um, let's see. Holly, would you just close us out in prayer? Would you do that?

SPEAKER_02 59:30

Lord, thank you so much. Thank you so much for the honor of being on this uh this live stream. Lord, thank you so much for every single person that is listening now and will be listening in the future. Lord, reach out and touch them, as Cecily had said, Lord, uh, like the the prodigal father, when the prodigal son came back, he was not met with anger or frustration, but with love and embrace and celebration. When Jesus talked to Peter after he denied him three times, Lord, God, you reminded him of his identity, not what he did, that he was loved, that he was prayed for, and that he was given grace and mercy. Lord, let us follow in that footstep, footsteps is to receive your grace, to receive your mercy. Lord, it's not because we are good, it's because you are good.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:39

Hallelujah.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:40

When we get caught up in I have to, we have to remember it's not what we do, it's what you have done. And Lord, when the devil starts reminding us of our past, Lord, I just pray you give us wisdom to remind him of his future, because we know the plans you have for us, and we have an eternal destiny with you because we are loved, we are your righteousness, we are and righteousness people is right standing with the Lord, not because of what we do, but because of what he has done. Lord, help everybody remember they were created for a purpose, they were created for impact, and they were created for success, not to be defined by their circumstances, to be the head and not the tail. And they too can walk on water if they keep their eyes focused on you, and you will use every single thing that they have gone through, the pain and turning into purpose, the heartbreak and turning into healing. And Lord, we just pray that we glorify you in all that we do and thank you for inviting us, Lord, into this ministry here on earth. In Jesus' name, amen.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:02

Amen. Amen. Well, guys, I know you were blessed by that conversation. Thank you so much for joining us tonight. And keep watching for Holly's book, Living in Victory, Not Defeat, launching next month. And until next time, keep repurposing your pain into purpose. Good night, everyone. God bless. Hey, family, I pray that you were blessed and encouraged by that episode, and that you took away something you can use in your walk with the Lord starting today. Jesus tells us in Matthew 6 to seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness. So I thank you for making me a part of your pursuit. Until next time, abide in Him.