Tiniest of Seeds

The Armor of God: A Chat With J.D. Peabody, Author of a Book About Anxiety and God's Weapons and Armor

• Laurine Decker • Season 1 • Episode 19

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Join J.D. (Jeff) Peabody, the author of "Perfectly Suited: The Armor of God for the Anxious Mind, Kate Henderson and Laurine Decker, your host, as we talk about what the armor of God means for those who battle OCD or anxiety. This episode is an invitation to discover the strength and grace available to you as you lean on God to don the spiritual armor won for you by Christ.

Have you ever considered the armor of God as a symbol of care and vulnerability, rather than mere strength and toughness? This episode offers a fresh perspective on the armor of God and its potential to assist in overcoming anxiety. We explore how sinking into God's protection and accepting His grace can provide relief from the pressures of striving to be independently strong. 

We discuss the transformative power of faith and vulnerability. Our chat highlights the importance of the belt of truth, a crucial component of the armor, and its role in helping us stay resilient irrespective of external circumstances. We also explore the notion that sometimes, growth means things getting worse before they improve. The journey towards growth and freedom might be challenging, but knowing that you're standing in God's armor can make it a little less daunting. Come join us in this enlightening exploration of faith, vulnerability, and growth.

If you'd like to order Jeff's book, it is available on Amazon.

Laurine:

So welcome Kate and Jeff. Today we are going to continue our conversation that we began I think it's been three or four months ago and we talked about the word "look in relationship to OCD and anxiety, and today we're talking about the armored God, and so I've invited Jeff back because he did write a book about the armored God and anxiety and OCD, and Kate and I've been meeting for some time and, like I mentioned on the last podcast, we have been in conversation around brain patterns, anxiety and what it means to look to Jesus. Kate and I finished going through this book some months ago and Jeff finished writing it some years ago, but I want to start by reading this little excerpt that he started out the book with which was this my hope is that this will not be an academic exercise.

Laurine:

I don't want to explain the armor of God. I want to wear it. As much as I value good scholarship, I'm less interested in analysis of the text and Ephesians than I am in connecting with one simple yet profound truth I am in God's care", and so also, to start out, I just want to start out by reading this passage from Ephesians about the armor of God says finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes, for our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against authorities, against the powers of this dark world, against the spiritual forces of evil and the heavenly realms. Therefore, put on the full armor of God so that, when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground. And after you have done everything to stand firm, then, with the belt of truth, buckle around your waist, the breastplate of righteousness in place, with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to this, take of the shield of faith with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the spirit, which is the word of God.

Laurine:

And I just want to start there, and that's a really spiritual passage, obviously, because it has to do with spiritual warfare. But before we dive in, I just want to remind us that we are presently in this very external temporal world and we see things in a very temporal way. And so figuring out how to apply this kind of esoteric spiritual language to our practical reality, with OCD, your anxiety or fear, whatever you might be dealing with today, listeners, that's the challenge.

Laurine:

And it's to me become an increasingly exciting challenge because I'm starting to see it actually works, even though it doesn't always feel like it works, if that makes sense. So let's jump in, jeff.

Jeff:

Well, I was thinking about. You know it's interesting to talk about the armor of God with OCD because I feel like, at least with my own OCD, a lot of it is protective in nature in how my brain is working. So it feels so much like, as I'm working through my OCD, so much of it is learning to be vulnerable and not put on my own armor, and so to have God provide an armor that is actually protective in a helpful way, the idea of Christ's authority letting us be vulnerable. Anyway, it just was, as you were reading that, just thinking about what we are to take up to protect ourselves, with Just that idea of also what I need to kind of shed in terms of my own protection.

Laurine:

That's so true, jeff, and I wonder if you could talk a little bit more because really I think part of what makes it hard and complicated for me having them raised in a very performance based religious home and culture is, when I'm trying to quote, do something that works. That creates its own anxiety, and I remember on Sunday we even said feeling anxious about being anxious, and that so resonates.

Laurine:

Because I think that's part of what makes people so uncomfortable with some of that Christian language or biblical application is because it seems like it's solution oriented rather than I don't know. I'm sure you get what I'm going at yeah yeah.

Jeff:

Well, even even right there in that passage where it's saying to put on the full armor of God, I mean, immediately, there you're going.

Jeff:

Okay, I need to do this, I need to put this on the right way, I need to take it up every day. And so right away, you start jumping into that performance mode of feeling like I've got a… that it shifts the focus from being on what the armor actually is to my interaction with the armor and going… that's what I really love. I don't remember if we talked about this last time or not, but the language there really… you can translate that as to sink into the armor. That feels… it feels a little less striving and a little more entering into what is already there and allowing God's armor to be God's armor, rather than having the emphasis being on. Well, I've got to… I've really got to pick this thing up and get on… because that's what I want to do naturally. I mean that's what I'm wired to do. The whole performance mindset that you were talking about, like that's so ingrained in me to have that be so self-reliant.

Laurine:

For sure Like if you do it the right way, you're going to have the right result Right, right, exactly, I think. I can't remember. Someone one time said when you look at each piece of the armor, it all comes back to the salvation and deliverance of Christ. It's all about his blood, if you will, it's all about what he did. Yeah, yes, and so, even in putting it on, we need the strength and the mercy and grace of the Spirit to even put it on, and so it really takes the striving out of it, and yet we have to choose to actively participate.

Laurine:

I know we talked about that last time when we were talking about looking Like we do have a choice. I remember Kate brought up how to act in a way that perpetuates belief. So, like Kate, do you remember where you were talking about? How movement or sometimes you can't just say the words to trick your brain do you?

Kate:

remember About…. Yeah, my therapist told me that your body hears words but it believes actions. Okay, yeah, so you can look in the mirror and you know, say like I'm fine, I'm safe, all this. But if you're not actually like telling your body that you're safe by like doing things for it to like physically let it know it's safe, then you're kind of just applying extra pressure of like oh, I should feel safe.

Kate:

Right, so it's a striving so kind of back to that we can put… we have to actively choose to put on that armor, and yet it's all his armor and it reminds me of like saying, like feeling anxious to be anxious and stuff. Because for me it's like you build up this idea, like if you tell yourself like I'm safe enough times, then you have, like you have a pressure to like, oh, I should feel safe because… and if I don't feel safe, I'm like lying to myself. So now you're like, you're dealing with your own mental things of like, oh, I don't… I don't believe what I'm telling myself. So what can I believe and what?

Kate:

you know, can I trust myself?

Jeff:

It reminds me of what Bill was talking about a couple weeks ago with his blah acronym of Breathe, look Up and Accept, because that even that visual cue of you know, looking, changing your eye focus is a physical thing to help cue your body. That you know, things are okay, or whatever but. I like that, that… how did you say that Your… your body… your brain… or your body… I don't know if it's your brain or your body, but it hears.

Kate:

Words, but it believes actions.

Jeff:

Yeah, that's really good yeah.

Laurine:

And that's why I love where the armor of passage even starts out with the belt of truth, because really it's all grounded in the truth of who God is God's best love his faithfulness, who we are, christ. It's all through that lens and that's independent of whether or not I believe it. So if I can put on that belt of truth and that's the lens that I'm looking through that is not dependent on my behavior or my actions, or whether my brain's cooperating or whether or not I'm even believing it.

Jeff:

Yeah, yeah, that's a hard question yeah, it's external yeah, mm-hmm.

Laurine:

So… I know I already said that we're chatting about the armor of God because Jeff wrote a book about the armor of God. What was your original title with the Basil Gangland?

Jeff:

Oh yeah, Praying for my Basil Gangland.

Laurine:

Okay, and then your editor.

Jeff:

They didn't think that would sell very well, they didn't think people would understand it, you know, or. And then somebody thought it was like Basil, like you know the plant. It spelled differently, but anyway. So yeah, they just thought it would be too abstract. I thought it was kind of funny, but I think so, yeah.

Laurine:

So tell me, I'm curious about how perfectly suited did you come up with that as far as? Because I immediately think about how, in First Dawn, it says we're perfect, the perfect disease is perfect. We are perfect in him. We are perfectly suited because of him, despite. So I have all these raps kind of like with what you were sharing. Jeff has also written some kids books and he gets to be in a lengthy interview tomorrow with someone who typically talks about Tolkien and Sirius.

Laurine:

Lewis because his children's series has to do with. Is it called Inklings now?

Jeff:

It's about the Inklings, but it's the Inkwell Chronicles Right.

Laurine:

Inkwell Chronicles Anyway, and we were laughing about how we can read all sorts of things into everything. So I'm wondering right now if I'm reading way more into your title. Can you tell?

Jeff:

me about how you guys came up with it. Well, I mean, it was a series of title options that they wanted as alternatives to Praying for my Basil Ganglia, and I think you know I wasn't necessarily sold on this title at first, because I don't. I mean, it brings up to me thoughts of perfectionism and you know, like with that, some of the stuff that you're typically typically anxious about, you know. So I was like not sure about it, but but the idea was that the perfection, it were perfectly suited. Thinking of a suit of armor and going, the armor of God is really well suited to anxiety and I think typically so. It was a little bit of a play of words on the suit of armor but then also going. We don't normally think about the armor of God as being related to anxiety. Most people, when I tell them that's what the book combines, it's not normally where they've gone with thinking about the armor.

Laurine:

Where do you think people usually go with the armor?

Jeff:

I, you know, honestly I don't know that most people even go anywhere with it, but I think it generally tends to be something that feels kind of foreign to people and maybe they have memories from Sunday school, you know, thinking about singing the little songs about it. But also, I think, in general we go to the what's my responsibility with it and what am I supposed to do with it, and to even just think about it more as what it is God's actually offering us. That's why I love the passage in Isaiah I think it is, and I should know the reference, but where God's the one wearing the armor, you know, and the idea that he's sharing his very armor with us, you know. That feels very personal, then, and feels very caring and less less. What I would hope is that it feels less burdensome than people make the armor out to be normally.

Laurine:

Yes, because it's not our responsibility In Philippians, where it says to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, because it's God who's at work within us to work into a world. That is good pleasure and have that kind of struck me in a different way. I hadn't thought about it. And again relieved me of some responsibility.

Laurine:

I always sort of looked at that verse and say, oh, I have to have the proper fear and reverence and trembling before I work God and I'm not holy enough, and when it kind of struck me in a new way that it could also perhaps be just this grace that we are human and we get to work out our salvation with fear and trembling, because it's God who's at work again it's a armor and it frees me of some of the responsibility again like what am I expecting of myself? To be standing so strong or to be allowing Christ to be wearing that armor. The Lord God is His armor and it's suited for me.

Jeff:

Well, along with that, the vulnerability piece.

Jeff:

You know that I think most of the time when we think about the armor, we think about it making us invulnerable.

Jeff:

Or you know, I remember when I used to go to this one therapist that I had for a while, I would intentionally wear my big puffy vest on my way there, which I would then unbutton when I sat down in the chair, as this kind of physicalization of going okay, I'm going to open up and be vulnerable.

Jeff:

Now, you know, and I think sometimes we think the opposite is true when we're putting armor on, we're then closing ourselves off in a sense, and so one of the things that I really appreciated about thinking about the armor for this book was rethinking the helmet and the function of the helmet not being just for protecting me from the arrows coming from the outside or whatever, but the woundedness that was already in my head. Like a doctor puts a helmet on a brain patient or something that's cradling and caring for what's inside it and thinking really, then that helmet is allowing vulnerability in the context of what's going on, rather than just having it be something that is making me tough. It's actually allowing me to be tender and soft, because so much of OCD is headstuff for me, and to go that God's caring for it in His protection, it's kind of a rambly way to say it yeah, no.

Laurine:

it makes sense, though, because it puts you going back to the quote at the beginning about knowing that we're in God's care. It puts your tender places in a place where you can take risks. It makes me think of when again, like when a doctor puts a cast on and yet you can still do PT. Sure, you're put in a stable position to the helmet of salvation so that then you can exercise and go out in the world and face these things and be secure because you're protected.

Jeff:

Yeah.

Laurine:

So it makes perfect sense.

Jeff:

Secure. I like that word secure. That feels a little less, I don't know, guarded, or it's a friendlier way than. But yeah, it feels like care. Secure, feels like care.

Kate:

Like what I was thinking. I think the common mindset of armor is it's a thing of strength and stuff and toughness, because when you put on armor it's like if you're going to battle right.

Jeff:

Right right.

Kate:

You have to be prepared and you have to be strong enough and you have to have all these things. So it's protecting you from the bad stuff supposedly right, but how you're explaining it is it's really not about. I mean, it can be, but in this sense it's not really as much about the things on the outside coming at you. It's more of like a. It's less of a strength thing and more of like.

Kate:

It's actually just very like caring and it's kind because there's no expectation for us to be strong enough, or you know. But it's really just like catering to like the weakness in us rather than like get ready, here's all this stuff that's going to come at you, like I'll help you a little bit, but like you have to be ready for this, and more of like a it's okay.

Laurine:

I love that because it brings it all together the sinking in and receiving what Christ has already done, so that we don't have to be afraid of the world we don't have. He is our shield, he's our buckler, he's our fortress, his name's a strong tower and we can sink into that and I love that. I hadn't really thought of that perspective either, that it actually is what enables us to go out and be vulnerable to receive people protected because he's done it.

Laurine:

You know, and I know we've talked quite a bit, kate and I, and then also I can't. You know this podcast. We tend to have recurring themes because I'm me and I'm dealing with my stuff, you know. But the reality that as we show up and receive what he has, it enables us to walk in more and more freedom and wholeness, peace and joy, and I shared on Sunday too about how I was in Europe, and it was a remarker because I was able to see in such an obvious way Not that we are looking for solutions, like I keep saying. That's a subtle twist.

Laurine:

If we're only doing something to try to fix ourselves, it's probably not going to work. It can actually perpetuate the problem. But if we put practices on, like believing who God says we are wearing the armor of God, he, the Lord, actually does bring us into more and more places of freedom, and I was able to use very few, really no masking behaviors, my OCD, my intrusive thoughts, the things that I typically would do in order to keep myself stable in a foreign country. It's so cool to see the faithfulness and, as I have sunk in and let go of some of that striving and receive the truth of what God says. Somehow, miraculously, my mind is being transformed.

Jeff:

That's good. Well, I think it is really interesting. It's a different way to conceive of the armor and especially the idea of like the shield of faith enabling me to be vulnerable, like I can step out in more vulnerability if I'm trusting that Christ is my armor, like it enables me to lay down my own shields when, when I'm actually operating as if this is true, that he can take care of me and so therefore, then I can move and operate in greater freedom. So it almost calls on vulnerability more because that is exercising my faith. If I can choose vulnerability out of belief that Christ is caring for me, then it just yeah, that's a new little wrinkle for me even to think about as an exercise of faith, the vulnerability pieces picking up the shield.

Laurine:

I can't help but think of Jesus, the ultimate picture of vulnerability, and sometimes it's easy to expect way more of ourselves or our circumstances and how we handle things than what Christ and the disciples pictured in the ultimate vulnerability at the cross resulting in the ultimate victory. I mean God's. He's God despite, and His way is counter to what feels safe to us often.

Kate:

I was thinking about the journey of putting on the armor of God and stepping into a new process and becoming more self-aware and everything that comes with that.

Kate:

I remember I talked to you about an analogy I use a lot for anxiety and learning more about your anxiety is organizing your room and you got to take out all the clothes in the dresser, you got to take everything out and it's going to get a lot more messy before it gets more organized.

Kate:

It was making me think about this whole analogy of the armor of God and everything too. For a while, when you're first kind of because I mean that's like that for me I'm like in the beginning of my journey of becoming more trusting God and everything like that but when you stop, if you're going back to the idea of being in battle, when you put on armor, if you kind of are in battle and then you stop to put on the armor, you're going to be more vulnerable to things coming on the outside and it's going to be a lot worse before it gets better. And so I was just kind of thinking about like I think that's something that holds people, just like as in everybody, up, because it's like if it's going to get worse before it gets better, that is so good.

Kate:

That's really profound. It feels like I'm doing good work there shouldn't be a bad side to this because you're doing good things but it's like it catches you by surprise. Even if you tell yourself it's going to get worse, it still does, and then. So I think that can be like a big, at least for me. It's intimidating to step into a journey of like okay, I'm going to put on all this armor and like, put in, like, put my trust in God and everything, because it's like that still is, like it's not gonna stop bad things from coming right. But but if you start doing it and Prepare yourself to the best of your ability which, right, you know, might not always be like, Avoiding the pain of it and everything, like it's, it's. But it's hard to take that step and to go through the Hard parts to get to the better part.

Laurine:

That is so profound.

Kate:

I love that.

Laurine:

Yeah, it makes the last week when that actually said to me well, when we were talking about comfort, that Taking the risk that is vulnerable, that's gonna result in growth. Sometimes it feels externally terrible and everything in you screams. That was not worth it.

Laurine:

That was terrible, yes, but just to your point, sometimes that's what it feels like, but the truth is we are exercising and growing and it may not externally feel that way, but the truth is it's part of the way you got to stop and put on the armor Mm-hmm, and maybe you are exposed and I think like a big expectation, at least that I have for myself.

Kate:

It's like, oh, it's gonna be hard for a while, but I'll look back and I'll be thankful for it, because like that's what we should do. But sometimes I look back and I'm like that was not. I'm still not happy. That happened like I'd almost rather like no, I'd rather know less about my anxiety, not be as self-aware, not be as you know, Everything like in order to not have had to go through that. And I don't feel thankful for it and maybe eventually one day I will. Maybe I won't, but it's like. So I can really relate to that of the sense of like you know, there might be an expectation to like look back on it and be like it was all for the best, like, yeah, that might be true, but that doesn't mean I'm like gonna look back on it with like a positive outlook and stuff.

Laurine:

I guess not always how it's gonna be, yeah that's what and that again, you know, to go back to the point of that, sounds awfully simple. That's why we need that built-to-truth, because are we gonna keep putting that on? Mm-hmm, maybe it'll feel better, maybe it won't, but the belt of truth is the belt of truth. So, yeah, it's. It's so hard to even put into words, but I think that I mean, I know I'm experiencing the fruit of that belt of truth.

Jeff:

Yeah despite.

Jeff:

Right, well, I like, I like the idea of just thinking about that truth sort of encircling us, you know, and being our, becoming our boundary of ourselves, and and and that feels like the function of a belt, you know, really is to just establish the perimeter, and and, yeah, if we can, if we can operate within that, because, yeah, I think, I think it's really, I think it, it we can allow that to be, we can allow the reality of the pain of it to be as much a truth as the fact that God has us and is caring for us. We don't, we don't have to, we don't have to make it Feel like we need to be thankful at the moment for it, you know, or or anything. I think it's, it's both sides of that and holding on to the truth of who God is, and and allowing the truth of reality To be what it is.

Laurine:

Yeah, cuz we just get to be people. Yeah we just get to be who we are today. I can't be more than that. Yeah, it's a big relief. Spent a lot of my life trying to be something I was never meant to be.

Jeff:

Exhausting or trying to be somewhere else than yes then right here.

Laurine:

Yeah you know.

Laurine:

So I think that that's a good place to wrap up. I it's funny because last time we chatted, you guys, I think I said well, we usually try to have them about 10 or 15 minutes and they just keep getting longer. And and that's okay, because people can just push the stop button if they want to. I do want to say that the armor of God for you listeners, don't breathe out Ephesians passage a couple more times if you're willing and Just invite the Lord, by the power of his spirit, to show you some fresh perspective on how the armor might apply to you, because I Think everything is spiritual. We get to enjoy this world for what it is, and yet God is eternal and we are made for eternity, and so it's this duality that I Think there's more and more freedom in and more and more present enjoyment In. But I invite you to take another look at the armor of God and ask him to show you how to apply it. And then, jeff, I don't know if you have anything else to add.

Jeff:

Well, I think what you just said there was really good about spirituality in a temporal world and going to Recognize that the, the armor of God, is essentially very practical for for being in our real lives and and that it can be hugely unburdening for the, the real anxiety that we're dealing with, and not just for some spiritualized place but for for the actual struggles that that we find ourselves in. It's. It's very Practical and I think that's that's a great comfort.

Laurine:

Yeah, it's a great comfort and great hope.

Jeff:

Mm-hmm.

Kate:

I think you guys covered it all.

Jeff:

We pretty much did. Yeah, think we said it all, if anybody has any thoughts about this.

Kate:

Don't share them.

Laurine:

So, kate and Jeff, thank you so much for joining me today. Thank you listeners, and and that's great, that's great, so who knows, it's good enough.