Why Is Everyone Wanting to Be Authentic?

What is authenticity? Why are students claiming to be authentic online? Does it even matter? And what does God think about this? 

Team up with hosts Arcelia Miller and Kimberly Charest as they discuss authenticity as it relates to Gen-Z, the Bible, and a TBRI psychologically informed approach. 

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• Impact modern culture by merging biblical principles with accurate psychological practices 
• Educate and encourage listeners to a happier, holier life
• Make mental health relatable across multi-generations. 

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Transcript

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Welcome to Listen and Love. This is our first episode of season two, and we could not be more excited to kick off our second season. Last year, you guys helped us get to number two podcast in mental health in Alabama, and we could not be grateful for that. And we are so excited to see where the Lord is going to take us this year and in this season. To kick off this season, we thought we might as well just give you an update on what's happened since our end of the year in 2024. So we're And then we're going to give you a smidgen of what we're going to do in season two. So we're excited for this. But first, if you are interested in sharing your story or sponsoring an episode of the Listen and Love podcast, please fill out the form below in the description of this episode and our team will reach out to you. Also, if the mission of this podcast, which is to combine accurate psychological practices with biblically necessary principles to educate and encourage listeners to live a happier, holier life. If that's important to you, please take a couple seconds and leave us a review on your podcast provider. This is super important and is the simplest, easiest thing that you can do for our mission right now. So please do that if you want to support Listen and Love. Okay, Aracelia, are you ready to update our listeners? I'm ready. So last podcast, we talked about the volunteer opportunities that we're going to have. What is that looking like right now in March? So March, we are getting ready to have our tea and testimony in April. Sorry, May. I'm already excited about it. So we're going to have our teen testimony in May. And so we are looking for people to volunteer to help us with that. We also have other events throughout the year. So we actually have a school that's going to be coming out to the house to do some flower bedding. So that's pretty exciting to know that we have some students already giving back to the community. So if people are still interested, we'd be more than happy. Tutoring is always a need. Can you tell us a little bit about the Youth Leadership Advisory Board? Yes, of course. We are excited about that. maybe like what a job application might look like. And then there's gonna be an interview process. We're not, I'm not gonna, it's not gonna be intense. It's really chill. I just wanna know about you and what you like to do and how we can help you grow in any capacity that we can. So we want to- It's a good experience for them to do the interview process, right? Yes, it's a great experience. So I've actually never, I've had one job interview in my life. So I need more help with that. But we wanna be intentional about growing our leaders and adding value to our community. So we're excited to start that up. And girls and boys can apply. Girls and boys. Yes. Girls and boys can apply. And I think we're going to have a lot of fun with that. It's going to be useful and fun. So what about our programs? So we've grown and we keep telling people every podcast that we've grown. Yes. But once again, what are our programs? Okay. So we have a residential program, which we started in 2008. Well, actually today, March Well, how many years is this? 17 years. 17. 17 years. In 2008, where Dr. Lorena Hunt will say that Under His Wings began in the heart of God. And so that happened in 2008, but it wasn't until 2011 when they became a nonprofit and then 2013 when they opened up the doors for the residential homes. So now we have expanded in 2020 to help girls outside the walls. And that's the second program of providing counseling services to girls outside. And then we are expanding even more to 18 to 23 year olds, which is exciting because we have not one, but two contractors that are interested in helping us build the house out in the seven acres that we have. And that's going to allow us to expand the programs for the residential setting for the ages 18 to 23 in our new program. So we've got a lot of exciting things. And we also have some retreats. This is an amazing thing. So back in 2013, when we first opened up in Robertsdale, the Mildorf home is where we were. And so whenever you hear under his wings and you think of Robertsdale, that's the home that most people think about because that's where we started. Well, they want us back. And so it's really exciting. So she and I have been talking and praying about how the Lord would want us to use this beautiful property. And so right now we're going to kick off sometime in June, either May or June, we're alumni out there get in contact with me i'm also going to be calling you to see if you want to come out to do a retreat and so that's another thing that's happening this year i'm so excited for that did you want me to talk about the schools yeah talk about the schools and also talk about our outreach okay so well first i'll like you go ahead and say the outreach portion so this is our outreach portion the listen and love podcast and we also are going to go into the schools this year because we and and talk about mental health from a christian perspective or just like mental health in general from the perspectives that we carry on our podcast, which is combining psychologically accurate principles with biblically necessary principles. So this is the majority of our outreach as far as social media goes. So what we do with the girls in the program is we do John Maxwell's free program, I Lead, and we introduce a value a week to the young ladies. And we actually asked our girls if they would be interested in going into the school setting in the elementary age to go And so that's something that we're praying about and hoping we have an opportunity to go into the schools to teach these to the students. And so that's one of our goals for this year. Awesome. So the last thing that we talked about on our last podcast that I want to bring up is where our residents are now. Just give us an update on that. properties. If anyone needs to go out to see the beach, please book today. But I will say that it was just a sweet time for the girls to get to know themselves and know one another and the staff. And so they've really acclimated pretty well into the program. And they've already did a home visit too and have transitioned back. So we are smooth operating right now, Lord. Thank you for that. Yes. Okay. So something that we're going to do in season two of our podcast is we're going to, first of all, our goal is to have two podcasts a month. And one podcast is going to be with Arcelia and I. We're going to talk mostly about a cultural discussion that we see that is mental health related. So today we're going to talk about that. And Arcelia, I don't know if you know, but since the founding of social media, people have curated a buzzword and it's called authenticity. And it is spread mostly across Gen Z and millennials. But this word is collectively used to describe or really mask a feeling of loneliness or encourage students on social media to seek their happiness by sharing their quote-unquote true selves on social media. So it's kind of like the term authenticity and how it's used on social media. I recently read an article. It was published last year, but I read it recently by Eric Dolan in SciPost, which is a psychological magazine that explains this word and its relationship with mindfulness. my generation really well. So this is what he says. He says, a new study has found that college students who perceive themselves as more authentic on social media platforms tend to experience better mental health outcomes. One researcher concludes people who perceive themselves as authentic have better mental health. However, how people perceive themselves varies across social context. We found that how authentic young people perceive themselves on social media may matter more for their mental than how authentic they perceive themselves offline. So it's a bit of a lot to digest. than how authentic they are offline. So I want to get your thoughts on this. If you are your true self, I mean, we are created to be known, right? It says in John 17, 3, this is eternal life to know the one true God and Jesus Christ whom you've sent. So knowing God is what eternal life is. It's not just life. So being known and fully known is something that God has put in our heart, period, cut and dry. And so we want to be authentic. Like we desire that. So to see this study, I kind of had to read And was like looking at it and being authentic on social media improves mental health. So when they're saying that they're saying college students who feel they are being their true selves on social media experience less stress, anxiety and depression and overall, that makes sense because they are being authentic. They're just choosing to do it on social media. The thing that made me sad was when it said social media authenticity is more important than offline authenticity. now that's sad because then what is that saying about the relationships the face-to-face relationships sometimes maybe I mean all of us have a fear of rejection right and that's probably what it is when you're on social media you can be authentic self and not hear somebody I mean of course there's always trolls that you know end up being there but I think that I think the core of experiencing authenticity and experiencing positive effects in your mental health makes sense. But it would be really nice if they can go beyond the computer screen. Yeah. Well, the study also, it begs a different question. If people are more comfortable or if them being perceived as more authentic online than in their real life is where the emphasis is, then what does that say about how authentic they are being in their real life? Right. It's basically saying that they're not, which is sad because it talks in the Bible about being double-minded. And when we're double-minded, you're being tossed to and fro. I mean, think about being into the ocean and just can't get your footing because you're just, I think that there's a time when you're young, you're still, you're going through the moratorium stage where you're trying to figure out who am I? What am I? What do I like? But this study right here is at college students and they still are trying to figure that out. I'm thinking about how when we're not being authentic, we're in the dark. And when we're not in the dark, we're lonely. Because he says in his word in 1 John, if we walk in the light as he is in the light, then the blood of Christ cleanses us. And we'll have fellowship with one another is what he's saying. That true fellowship is that deepness, that oneness that we're again, we're made to have. In John 17, again, he says that he prayed, Jesus prayed that we would be one as he and That calls to this deep-rooted fellowship that can only come through the Lord. And so I think that that's what we're always seeking. But face-to-face, if a person doesn't feel trust, more than likely, they're not going to be authentic, which is weird because how could they trust the person behind the screen? I don't know. It's just interesting to me. That's an interesting point because if you have to have trust to be authentic— Or if you have to have trust to know, to trust other people to know your true self, then why would you trust complete strangers on the internet more than the relationships in your own life? Right. Which maybe points to exactly what you were saying earlier, which is young people don't have strong relationships in their life, mentors, maybe even a therapist or a counselor that they can have these deeper conversations with. Trust is so important. And that's part of what we do at Under His Wings, the trust-based relational and We're saying connection before correction. And the verse I was thinking about earlier was, if we walk in the light as he is in the light, we will have fellowship with one another and the blood of Christ cleanses us. And that comes from being able to walk with one another and share things. I'm thinking about when you're not authentic, you're hiding something. And then it reminds me of that verse when David was saying, when I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away. Well, on Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Lying. Right. So it actually has a physical, you know, manifestation on our bodies. And I always like it when the secular, you know, science, you know, already confirms what God already said. So, but I like that because I'll tell my kids that I'm like, okay, yes, this is what God, science is always catching up to us. So I, I just, my heart just yearns for those that feel like they can't be authentic. And usually that happens. And that's something that we share here is that when we're young, our hearts are so soft and we're so trusting, right? But what happens is like little by little, someone sins against us. And little by little, we start to build these walls and start to harden our hearts. And they're like this, and we don't trust. So we can't be authentic because we can't trust. But if you do come to know the Lord when He takes your heart of stone and gives you a heart of flesh and puts his spirit inside you and you start to have that relationship, which is to know God and to be fully known, little by little, he gives you this ability. It doesn't mean that you're not going to get hurt because it also says in the Bible, it is, you know, Jesus actually said, we're going to be offended.

SPEAKER_01: 16:19

Offenses are always going to come.

SPEAKER_00: 16:22

But what we do with that, and that just speaks to our, you know, Those parents, we are needing to teach our children diligently about God so that they can feel like they can be authentic. We can mentor those that don't have parents. We can encourage and support those. So I want to talk a little bit about the study. The study had said that they tend to be happier with this result. So can you tell us what happiness this is and how long it might last? Yeah, this happiness is fleeting. And it's not going to last. It's kind of like I was meditating the other day about living hope. So you've got hope. People can put hope in anything. They can put hope in money, hope in a job, hope, hope, hope. But hope is going to die. When we talk about the living hope, it's like even when it looks like it's going to die, it comes back to life. And so I see that same thing with happy. So like even in the Beatitudes, when Jesus will talk about happy as he in some versions, it says happy is that. same word as blessed, which is mercurius, which is to be greatly envied. That is a different sort of, there's always counterfeits. You've got the happiness that's fleeting, like a mirage, and you can't hold it. And then you've got the happiness that God gives, which is that contentment. And so, you know, it's different. So if you're looking for that contentment, for that long lasting happiness, that can only come from the Lord. It can only come from the Lord because He is our creator. He is He's the one who made us and he knows how he designed us. So he knows exactly what it is that we need. And again, it goes back to the fact of to be known, to be known, be known and fully known and to be fully known. And he sees us and yet he still loves us. Yes. So this authenticity crisis, this identity crisis manifests in several ways from an increase in anxiety and depression, which is what we're talking about to masking emotional pain or possibly trauma. with medication, which not that that's... We've talked about that before. Sometimes people need that. Sometimes people need that. Yes. So the National Institute of Health reported anxiety and depression are the two largest mental health issues among Gen Z, with 9 out of 10 individuals diagnosed with a mental health condition having anxiety and 8 out of 10 having depression. These stats are high for my generation and younger. Why is it important for us to root our lives in the true authenticity found in Jesus? Man, because he's the only one. Again, like I was saying, God is the one who created us. We are created in the image of God. He is the maker, so He knows exactly what it is. Even though you're a Christian, you can still experience anxiety. So I'm not going to say that, you know, because we live in a broken world. But He tells us to cast all of our cares on Him because He loves us. It says, that God has in His Bible and the Word of God is there to settle us and to know that we have a Savior. Again, that does not mean we're going to have a perfect life, but the One who created us is the One that's going to help us the most. Yeah, John 10.10 says that He came to give life and life abundantly. That's a good verse to lean into during hard times. It is. It is. So do you think that there might be limits to living authentically in the sense, not in the sense of true authenticity is in Christ, but in the sense of how much you share on social media? Like, should we put boundaries up? Well, yeah, I think you can still be authentic and still put boundaries. I think it's important for you to, because even Jesus had 12, right? But even within the 12, he had his three. So you shouldn't give everyone access And also something we teach the girls is that forgiveness requires only one person. You can forgive someone without them even knowing. Reconciliation requires two people, right? So just knowing that is... Right. It's powerful. So I love how you said that Jesus had his 12, but even within his 12, he had his three. And that he trusted those three with the more vulnerable parts of himself. Yes. That doesn't mean he's not being authentic. Yes. That's not because, and the same thing, it is guarding your heart with all due diligence from it springs a wellspring of life. So we need to be very wise with who we share what with because not everybody wants to use the information in the right way. So you can still be authentic without not sharing certain things. Think of it concentric circle. Even with us here with the girls, the people that volunteer, anyone that's closest to the girls, we're very cautious about that. It's just wise. I do see some young adults that sometimes put some things on social media that I think that It just, out of the heart, the mouth speaks. It just shows that they're in a lonely place. And occasionally, there might be someone, I'll just call them or text them, say, hey, do you need to talk? Because it's obvious that they're, you know. I like that you said that you will reach out to them. Yes, yes, I do. Right. Yes. Yes. going to be. And there's absolutely no reason why you shouldn't be one if you're walking in the light. Exactly. So now that we've talked about how we should be wise with what we share on social media and with who, so when we were going through this earlier this week, Arcelia and I were going through this earlier this week just to get our flow going, I explained to her what the word crash out means. You might have to tell me again. Okay, good. Because they might not know. Well, if they're watching Okay. Are they real? That's a good question. Okay. That's a good question. And that's what we're going to look at today. So we have producer Ben in the studio with us. It's his first time producing. And we're so thankful that he's here. But I gave him, I emailed him three different TikToks of students crashing out. And I said, surprise us with one to watch. Because I wanted to be surprised too. So we're going to watch this video. And then I already know what my reaction is going to be. But then we're going to see. You already know your reaction? Do you know what my reaction is going to be? I think so. So Ben. We'll show it. We don't want any dead noise. That's okay. You want to keep talking then or are you going to splice it? We're going to keep talking because we want to be authentic. Okay. Well, I can go ahead and share a little bit about, oh, some of the alumni. We've got some alumni updates. So we have some that are in college and they're doing really well. And we've got some, one that got married. Congratulations. We got another one that is getting married. Congratulations. And we've got one that's having a baby. And we had one that, had a baby last year. So congratulations. So those are just a little tidbits so they won't have any dead air. Dead air. I love that. We'll put this on. I love when we have alumni updates because it shows that our impact is growing and that our whole goal is always family restoration. Yes. Ben, you chose the one I wanted. Okay. Okay. Our goal is always family restoration. And when girls start their own families, that means that our impact is only multiplied. And that's Okay. I don't think this one has any curse words in it, but if it does, just know that we will be bleeping them out. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. He has a girlfriend? Mm-hmm. Is she driving? Yes.

UNKNOWN: 25:54

What?

SPEAKER_00: 25:55

Is she real though? Does she have gum in her mouth? She has gum in her mouth. She's driving. She's driving. She's filming herself. So she's filming herself while she's driving. And she's chewing gum. She's multitasking. She's multitasking. So... That poor girl. I just want to hug her. I want to hug her and then tell her that he's definitely not worth it. I mean, meaning her life because y'all don't text and drive. Definitely don't videotape and drive. I've seen it a lot. Yeah. My sister. Some people have a car that actually drives on its own, I think. Is that a Tesla? Okay. Okay. Well, Anyway, so what do I think about that? I don't know if that's real or not. Is that really breaking? Is that really a breakdown, though? Maybe. It's frustration. It's a crash out. Is it a crash out? It's a crash out. Regardless. She thinks she's being authentic. So in terms of our discussion, is that authenticity? And if it is, should she have been authentic with everybody on social media? I think that has millions of views. Really? Wow. I'll look it up while you're talking. Well, whether or not is authentic, I really don't know because I don't know her. But should she have shared that with everybody? No. It depends on what her intention was, really. If her intention was to get a million views, then I guess she got it. But if it was to... I don't know. It's really hard. That has almost half a million views. Oh, half a million. Maybe she'll get a million now. Because you guys will try to look for it. No, I really don't know. At least there, she's not sharing something very deep. She was saying that he has a girlfriend, but I don't know who he is. Is he someone that she liked? Is he someone that she used to like? Is it someone that she used to date? It's what's called a situationship. Do you know what that is? No. A situationship is when a guy and a girl like each other or maybe they don't like each other, but they're in the talking stage, but it's just mostly through text or through whatever social media app they're using. The guy isn't asking her out. The girl keeps texting him for some reason because she likes him. And so anyway, it'll go on for months. They'll just be talking, be wondering, what is this? What is this not? So she's saying she was in a situationship and she found out that he has a girlfriend. Oh, Okay. So then she's crashing out, having a middle breakdown, driving in the car. Well, if that was someone that I knew and they were crashing out, I think I would reach out to her and I would say, hey, what's up? And then I would encourage her that it was God's grace that he definitely might not be the one. Yep.

SPEAKER_01: 29:09

Sounds

SPEAKER_00: 29:10

good. But I really don't know if she's been authentic, though. Well, that's the problem with posting all the time on social media is if you're trying to be authentic and you post something that vulnerable, if it is real, then followers are going to be like, they may be relatable, but can we trust her? I hope we're relatable because that's what we're trying to get to, right? That is. Mental health made relatable. And on that note, thank you guys for hopping in on this discussion with us this week. And we hope that it encourages you to listen and love this week.

UNKNOWN: 29:43

Thank you.