Accidentally on Purpose
Explore the intricacies of life, love, and growth through candid conversations and thought-provoking topics! Welcome to the Accidentally on Purpose Podcast where we aim to live intentionally even when life seems accidental
Accidentally on Purpose
Of the World
Navigating the dating world while clutching tightly to personal values is no small feat, and I share a tale of a fleeting yet underserving dating encounter sparked by the growing Alpha vs. beta conversation. It's a testament to the importance of defining—and defending—our boundaries against the archetypal 'alpha' and 'beta' roles society so often imposes. As we wrap this episode, we ponder the unpredictability of life and the necessity of self-care, and how intentional use of social media can shape our mental and communal well-being. This discussion is an open invitation to join us in fostering connections and nurturing a society that holds dear the value of every individual.
The compensation is made and said that Joanne is going to nuestras a y this our Far 相信 In Э learning Care machine, ice unemployment thing. You can't just be phase on in every movie Like you're just gonna take your shirt off on every movie Like why does it say that in your script? Lean, let big worm live.
Speaker 3:Let him breathe. Cat, Let big worm breathe. It's calling my name.
Speaker 1:You having an unnatural allegiance to losers is not like you.
Speaker 3:No, I ain't got no allegiance to the man, but you got it.
Speaker 1:My goal was to get this far in Hollywood and still have a virgin-ass hole, and I never had sucked a penis. That was my only goal. I didn't want to get with a white woman because I was scared she might have me running down the street like Jonathan.
Speaker 3:Badger's.
Speaker 1:Not because.
Speaker 3:I didn't like white women.
Speaker 1:I think white women are as great as any other women, but I'm not gonna act like I'm not scared of them, I have a reason to be scared. You could be Kang the Conqueror and they could take your rabid ass down in two weekends, and that's the truth of the matter.
Speaker 3:So I'd say it away from that. You see, jonathan Major, what he went through. Marvel dropped him as soon as they're guilty. The conviction came out and you were telling the judge.
Speaker 1:Hey, you saw that black woman come get his charge cut in half. Thank you, megan. Good God bless you coming to save that slave and he'd have to be there by himself. He was getting all full.
Speaker 3:I don't know if you saw this, but Taraji P Henson got extremely emotional the other day. She was giving an interview, yes, and saying that they're vastly underpaid, and say the math is not mapping. They get X amount of dollars by the time Uncle Sam get his cut, by the time the agency get their cut, and what you see they were supposed to get is a fraction of that. Where do you come down on that, kat?
Speaker 1:It was the saddest thing ever, because imagine, imagine being in your genre and your sub-niche, whatever it is. Imagine being in your lane. Imagine being one of the very top of your lane, that to the point where, if they don't take you for the role, there's not three black actresses that they can say are bigger than you, that we're gonna give this. To Imagine you being at that point and have to humble yourself and say they're not paying me off and they not making my pay go up cause I'm doing better or nothing. It don't matter to them that I'm famous and people know me, or nothing. They wanna pay me exactly what they pay in the new girl, and I've been suffering under it for a decade now and just taking it. I just been getting worked. But I just gotta come say this is wrong. We should be ashamed, but this is a country where we don't pay the teachers and then we say to kids it's the most important thing, you can't have both of them If you do that.
Speaker 2:The code is c express66늘. You need to forget all of this cause. You have to be anitsuannarch and you've gotta be clear on COVID, and you don't just have to have to be mandator. You're an idiot man and that's no excuse. I don't need one of data anymore. Hey, dm, how's it going? Hope the same for the rest of you, but what a way to get it started off. Man, cat Williams. He said a lot of truths. I also thought he might have embellished a few things, but I encourage you all to go listen to that interview, one of the best interviews I've heard in a while. But y'all know what it is. Man Accidentally on Papyrus Podcast back this year. Again new things in store. We're going to continue to explore the intricacies of life, love and growth through the candid conversations that I have and thought provoking conversations, the topics, and we're going to just try to live intentionally. Even when life seems accidental. It's available everywhere Spotify, amazon Music, pandora, apple Podcast, google Podcast, iheart wherever you find your podcast, we are there and I'm excited about this year.
Speaker 2:I'm feeling a little refreshed and rejuvenated and, yeah, I won't be, before you long because it's solo dolo today but Got some surprises next week and we gonna dive into some more topics. I know I usually talk about, just like you know, life, what I've gone through, how you can learn from my mistakes as it relates to life and relationships and marriage and the challenges and things of that nature. Um, but you know, and listening to that podcast I kind of felt compelled to to give my two cents and just explain you know where, where, uh, what I took away from it and when I'm coming from, and I think I've touched on this before now. I'll preface this by saying I don't agree with everything Kat said, but I do Believe there was a lot of truth into what he was saying and I'm not here to say, you know or judge whether he was wrong or right. I think he was well thought out in his answers, he took his time, he took pauses, he really thought about what he was gonna say and it's got hard not to believe, you know, some of the stuff that he was saying. I never am a fan of two black men or shit more than two black men getting into it, you know. But I don't think he came from a place of malice. I think he was coming from a place of his truth. Whether that's true or not, that's not up to you or not, that's between him and his guy and all the other comedians that were mentioned. But I will say Kat is one of my favorites, not comparing him to anybody else, because I I'll watch Cavs movies, you know I'll watch. Well, I guess the rest of me really got no peace, not, I think about it. But that's needy here nor there.
Speaker 2:I think the bigger topic at hand is it's kind of like you know the background music that was playing. What's going on? I Think the older we get, if you are a certain age, from a certain demographic, like myself, if you know me, if I know you and we around the same age, you, I think you'll agree me, agree with me, when I say the older we get, the weirder things get. And it brings me to my point. I was talking about this a while ago on one of the episodes, I'm not sure which one. I Don't think that you can live in this country and acquire the type of billion or multiple million-dollar wealth and rise to a certain stature of fame and notoriety without compromising your moral compass. I Just don't think that's possible in this country. So I Think we are getting to a point where we're just tired of the BS and I and I think this is like I said this might be an age of truth and that's why we see a lot of things. You know, the Epstein list, the Diddy's, the TDJ is being mentioned in some mixed company, the Tyler Perry accusations and rumors and things like that. I'm not saying I believe everything that has. You know, come across the Twitter, instagram timeline or whatever the shave room post or spiritual world and Things of that nature. But I do think that where there's Multiple instances of smoke, then there's gonna be a fire and I think we're starting To see that now.
Speaker 2:I just do not believe you can get to a place of especially billionaires in this country and you can insert, insert whatever billionaire you want or black billionaire. This applies to all. You cannot get to that Type of money in this country and not have done something to compromise your moral integrity Stepping on somebody to. You know, get in your position Under under, under the table, business tactics, you know Insider trading, whatever the hell it is. You just cannot honestly get to a billion dollars in this country. The country's not set up for, you know, the, the, the billion dollars, the laws may be set up for. You know, rich, get rich, report, get poor, but Just the way that God intended us to live is not the way that it seems, which is why we have things like poverty and you know, even, look like little, even things like road rage or man, you name it, what you could put it all under the umbrella, it when you, we just know we're not supposed to have. You know, billionaires, multi-billionaires, and then there's people starving. Tupac said that.
Speaker 2:I believe I played that clip last year on a pod, but I think that's what we're seeing now and it's going to be a struggle, I know. For me, I just I live in my truth and I keep God first and I believe that you know he's the creator of all things. So I don't try to, I try not to get too mixed up in what goes on in the world, because I'm in this world. I'm not of it, though, and I think the older you get, you're going to see some eyebrow-raising things, and it's going to, it's going to make you, it's going to be a cause for pause and it's going to make you say but I just think that's a part of growth and I also believe that's just a part of man just getting older. Like the times are going to change. You know we can see. You know we can see what's in the music today. I mean it ain't really much positivity, and if it is, you got to go digging for it or you got to go back to some old stuff. So, man, a lot is going to happen, a lot has happened, and I just pray that you all keep God in the center of your life, keep your seatbelt on, head on the swivel and never lose sight of your goal, whatever that is, personally or professionally, just keeps driving towards that. You know, don't let the distractions of others dictate your mind. So, with that being said, something that I'm going to focus on this year and that's being more intentional and, you know, ensuring I'm living a purpose driven life, and you know just whatever I commit to see that thing through. So, oh, okay, williams, I'm really starting something, man. So I encourage you guys to go check that out.
Speaker 2:But, man, 2023 was an interesting year. It was the year of roller coasters, it was a year of blessings and financial gain and financial losses, but all in all, I can say it was a solid year and I think I'm now starting to see the seas that I plan to you know kind of blossom into what I expected. For the longest, I felt like I was stuck. I'm like Lord. I spent all this time with you. I go to the beach or the cliffs every morning. I pray, I meditate, I journal, but I'm not really seeing nothing. I'm just kind of like, you know, going into a circle, but I'm starting to see the blessings.
Speaker 2:The main thing that happened to me in 2023 is I found love again. Like the song goes by D'Angelo, I found my smile again. There it was, and after March, there was no more dating or a serial dating. It was one woman and we've been rocking it ever since and very much appreciative of her and the boss that she is. She's currently studying for the California bar. She's already licensed in Nevada and Georgia, I believe, but she has aspirations, high aspirations of doing some big things here in the state of California. So, as a black woman, I'm behind her 100% and you know praying and for her and fasting when I can and trying to help her study and keep her honest when she don't feel like studying, and it's incredible to see I still believe black women are just like these magical creatures, that if you find one it's like a four-leaf clover man. You got to hold on and harvest that thing. It's going to bring you all kind of good luck. So definitely appreciate the Lord for blessing me with a second chance at love.
Speaker 2:Man, it got kind of glim I said glim is that a word? I mean damn For the longest, like when I moved out here, as you all know it was, it was touch and go man, like my dating life was on life support. So I think that if I could mentor some of the guys, some of the girls that are out of new situations and have done the work on themselves to heal and you are here trying to date after a long time, man, you got to be thorough, you have to be patient and, most of all, you have to find out what you like. If you spent your life, you know, for the past several years with one person, you've changed and it's going to be a wake up call when you get back out here in these streets. It is definitely not for the week. I have had my share of failed dates and instances. As you all know, I've detailed on this podcast and I'll continue to detail some more. But, man, stay vigilant and, just you know, keep at it. But hopefully, from my voice to your ears, it impacts you because I'm telling you I went through it and I played the clip at the beginning because I felt like a lot of that stuff tied into the things that I've experienced here.
Speaker 2:Man, I don't want to get canceled but, frankly speaking, I think all of Hollywood is weird, whether that's in LA or Atlanta. I think I just think all them, all them mfs are weird to me. I just I see the moves that people make. I see the accusations that you know that are happening, um, I've seen the infidelity that has happened. I see the pictures and the videos of mixed company. You know you got pastors hanging out with known you know weirdos, um, and that's no judgment. You know Jesus was meeting people where they were. You know the woman at the wheel with no saint. You know she was the woman at the night. So, but I think there's a difference from, uh, you know with, and nobody could be Jesus, but there's a difference of, like, literally being in the world or being of the world. You know, if you dance in a cross stage and you twerking and you're partaking in these things, then people are going to raise eyebrows. So, man, for me, moving out here was eye opening. You know, living in Southern California, they, they, you know, and then frequenting LA a lot and they call it La La Land for a reason.
Speaker 2:I think the things that cat was speaking of is some things that I've seen with my very own eyes and listening parties with you know, uh, I would say a semi well known um R and B artist that is the brother in law of a prominent black actress. I'll let y'all feel, uh feel, the blinks in there and and and the things that I've seen in there is the, the very thing that can get you trapped and caught up in here If you don't have a spiritual foundation. And I thank God that I fell on my face as many times as I did, because I always, you know, when I fell, I had nowhere to but but to look up to God, cause it ain't nothing that my parents could have done to help a friend couldn't do, it was, you know, literally I just had to sit and let God work it out for me. And I think if you don't have that, then you can fall into, you know, um, you can fall into the category of trying to keep up with the Joneses, as the they used to say back in the old school, or just trying to, you know, do it for the gram instead of the grind. A lot of things I feel today. Off a show, um, and if that's, if that's the motive, then the same way you get it, the, you know you're going to lose it equally as fast. Probably this in the same fashion or even a more, worse way. So if your intentions are pure and you want to live a purpose driven life and you want to have some, some kind of substance to fall back on, um, and you don't want to have to maneuver in a way that's going to compromise your morals and may, you really got to stick to your guns and you got to keep God in the center of your life.
Speaker 2:I can remember being, uh. I can remember being on a date one time and uh I'm not going to use up no names, I know I don't, I don't do that but uh, this was, this was a uh, I would. I would classify this uh person that's kind of like a C, b minus, maybe even D plus, list uh celebrity. If, if you will no-transcript here you know what this calls for my theme music. So this was a man. Was it 2024? Now, this had to be in the 2021, beginning of 2022.
Speaker 2:So you all know I was on the dating app hinge and I kind of ran into a regional celebrity, I would say, if you will, maybe even national and went on a date. It was, it was cool. You know, I think she got attached too quick because I was getting these messages like literally that night after the date. You know, the next day I feel so deeply for you and I can't wait to do life with you. And I'm like whoa, I'm pausing, like hold on, now, wait a minute. I don't know you like that, I'll text back deeply, question mark.
Speaker 2:Then we get into this long back and forth argument. Like you know, if you ain't trying to do this, then why are you wasting my time? And I'm like it ain't even been 24 hours, like yeah, the day was cool, but I still you know what I'm saying Like I don't go to therapy for nothing, I'm not just about to let you in my life. Like that, I got to vet you like what's going on. So you know, we continue to go out. A few times and it fizzled out. I didn't go stir, she didn't ghost me, it just, you know, kind of ran its course so fast forward.
Speaker 2:A few months later, later on that year, we reconnected again. This is the thing about dating apps your second and third stint the same people. You saw that first time around. You gonna see their ass again. So sorry. Again we tried to connect and this time at dinner I noticed it was.
Speaker 2:It was a noticeable change, and this is some stuff that I don't subscribe to. So I'm not really like too familiar with like passport bros and the man or spear and alpha female and all that stuff. Like all that shit like keep it over there away from me. I don't understand it. I don't want to understand it. That ain't in my world. I'm not jaded by any means. I give everybody a fair shot. But her whole dialogue was can you be with an alpha female? Can you dumb down your alphaness and be a beta? And I'm like man. You sound like a math problem right now and I feel like you are too far gone because you're fixated on what the world is instead of what you are. And that's my big point about being in this world but not of this world, like yeah, we have to live here, but you don't have to indulge in every single thing. And I think tying it all together.
Speaker 2:That's what I took away from the Cat Williams interview. Whether he's telling the truth or not, in principle, the things that he was saying I tend to agree with because there's just certain things that I'm not going to do to sacrifice my morals in the acting world and being a stand-up comedian world. He didn't want to play certain roles that cater to a certain community or wear a dress or something like that. I totally get that In my world just average everyday working man in the tech world in Southern California trying to date. There's certain things that I just was not going to sacrifice. I'm not sacrificing my relationship with God and a lot of women had that issue when I moved out here Just because I go to church. I'm a holy roller. You know what I'm saying. That's what. That's a common theme that I was getting. I told you all the story about the woman that got mad at me because I prayed over the food.
Speaker 2:I really feel like I mastered the art of navigating, being in this world but not of this world. I didn't conform to anything. I didn't let anything get me off my square. I stuck to my guns. I'm proud of myself. Looking back at the situation with the young lady that I just gave an example of the regional celebrity because she wanted to be something that I just was not about to indulge in. Yeah, I go to the gym for me, but I'm not taking pictures in gray sweatpants and things like that, because that's for you, that's for my lady. I'm saving the good stuff. I still like the art of the chase in certain instances.
Speaker 2:I don't want to see everything upfront. I don't know, man. I just took a lot from this interview and I'm looking at it from a different lens. I'm not looking at it from old Kev and Cat Williams Got B for a sedge with entertainer is this and Steve Harvey's that. I'm looking at it from just the root thing of what Cat was trying to explain to us was there's going to be. It kind of reminds me of the song with Tupac and Scarface there's going to be some things.
Speaker 2:That's going to make it hard for you to smile, but through all the rain and the pain, man, you just got to keep your head up. You got to smile. Through it all. Sometimes you got to just smile through the pain and you just got to stick to your squares and know that you're going to be just fine. I don't know Cat's financial situation, but he appears to be doing really freaking well. I don't think he's hurting or wanting for anything. I kind of applaud him for sticking to his guns and standing on his square, standing on business, as King says. But yeah, man, I went through that myself Living out here in it's a very fast pace environment some parts of SoCal which is why I chose to live where I'm living now because I didn't want to temptations of LA.
Speaker 2:One thing about me I'm very honest with myself. I ain't going to pass temptation up too many times and that happened to me when I first moved out here. I was spending frivolous money. I was spending money on frivolous things, going on meaningless dates, waking up the next morning feeling empty like damn. Why did I even entertain this person? Why am I here? You know what I'm saying. I had to really reel it back in and understand. My foundation is with God and that's what's gotten me through everything. As we get older, I truly believe there are going to be some head turning, head scratching, shake your head moments and through it all, you just got to smile.
Speaker 2:You have to pray, you have to keep God in this end of your life and you just got to keep going, man, because the older we get, the more crazy things we are going to see. So that is it for me, and that is another story that I have gone through. Man, I feel like the backlash from this interview though it might become too much and I'm probably going to end up muting everything on Twitter or X, whatever it's called. Actually, I'm on threads right now, heavy. So you know, if y'all like me, man, the mute or the hide option is the best part of social media for me, because I get to kind of hack the algorithms and just cater to the things that I want my brain to see.
Speaker 2:Man, so lock in 2024, get your vision boards, write your goals, you know, do your praying, do your meditating, all of that stuff, whatever you got to do, just to stay productive, positive and keep moving forward, because that's definitely what we hear, what we are going to do together, in conjunction with the accidentally on purpose podcast, man, we're going to continue to explore the intricacies of life, love and growth through these candid conversations, thoughts, provoking topics, and we're going to live intentionally even when life seems accidental. Once again, it's available everywhere your podcasts are found. Until the next time, people, please put value in yourself. Put value in each other so we can have a value society, peace.