Accidentally on Purpose
Explore the intricacies of life, love, and growth through candid conversations and thought-provoking topics! Welcome to the Accidentally on Purpose Podcast where we aim to live intentionally even when life seems accidental
Accidentally on Purpose
Be Yoked Feat. Brandon Trotter
When it comes to personal stories, we don't hold back. From post-athletics life to the rollercoaster of modern dating, Brandon Trotter & I unpack the often unspoken complexities of relationships. We dissect the delicate balance between maintaining individuality and nurturing a partnership, the societal pressures that can distort our views on love and success, and the financial considerations that tag along with life’s biggest pivots. It's about finding your spiritual anchor, picking up a bass guitar, or managing a social media presence for a church – whatever shapes your journey, we're here sharing ours.
Wrapping up, we hit the ground running with long-term aspirations and the gritty details of financial planning. Brandon shares his vision for the future, including real estate ambitions and navigating life's financial hurdles post-college. You'll find honesty and humor here, tales of birthday dance-offs, and a shared commitment to make a positive impact. Our conversation is a candid reflection of our lives, filled with encouragement for listeners to pursue their dreams while supporting one another along the way. Join us as we tackle thought-provoking topics to foster a community that respects and understands at all levels.
Welcome back to another edition of the accidentally on purpose podcast. I am the host, the creator of the show, the proprietor, the HNIC. Yes, I go by Keenan. You can follow me everywhere, at one Keenan Hall on X threads. I'm about to be heavy on the threads. Might I add Instagram? Wherever you get your socials, man, please like, share and subscribe. Support the pod Because this is a show of substance, you know. Follow the pod page to accidental purpose pod, where we explore the intricacies of life, love and growth through candid conversation, thought provoking topics, and we try to live intentionally even when life seems accidental.
Speaker 1:Man, today I'm going to have my boy on the show man, my boy. I'm about to give him a call. Hopefully he answers, but there's some things been going on in the internet space and I think it needs to be addressed, at least from you know, different perspectives. So I want to get one male long, one female, one man, one woman to see how can we kind of men, this divisiveness in the man and woman culture, especially black woman versus black man, seems like there's a lot of disagreements going on and I am for solutions, not problems. So yeah, man, I'm gonna get my boy on the day we're gonna wrap it up, get to know him and talk about some things that have gone viral here as of late. So let me get my boy a call man. Yo be tried what's up. I'm doing good. I'm doing good. How about yourself, sir?
Speaker 1:I'm good man. I got you on the pie man. Welcome to the accidentally on purpose podcast. I hope you in a quiet location and you know you got your. You got your five bars. I think you'll get you a and you a galaxy man Like myself, right? Or you got the pixel.
Speaker 4:I see I'm a pixel man. I got the Android pixel. Oh you smart then.
Speaker 1:You know we're not a part of the iPhone community of followers. We're done. People here know where fast. No, I'm playing, but it was good man, how you doing Not much.
Speaker 4:Man, I'm doing well. Man Just just walking the door about like 10 or 15 minutes ago Just left the school. Man School year just started back up going well, I'm doing good man, I'm blessed.
Speaker 1:That's what's up. That's what's up. You ain't got me on speakerphone, do you?
Speaker 3:Oh, I do. Is that a issue? Yes, man, yeah, I got you right now he's like, uh, yeah, caught red handed. Come on man, you know they're gonna make fun of us anyway, because we were the best phones.
Speaker 1:All right, man, I got you now First time doing it, so we get it. They saw good man. I appreciate you taking the time to.
Speaker 4:Have a conversation with me, man.
Speaker 1:I just wanted to the people to know one of my partners and one of my homies, um, and the incredible man, young man himself, so born and raised in Phoenix, right, yes, sir man, yeah, born and raised.
Speaker 4:Um, south Phoenix Arizona, which you know I've been in the city for a while South Phoenix Arizona, which you know I guess too many people don't aren't familiar from out here. It's like usually, if you meet people out here, usually meet people who aren't from Arizona.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 4:So like I felt like I'm actually like where because I'm when I'm out and about, and I felt people, I'm actually from here. It was just like really so like, yeah, man born and raised.
Speaker 1:Right, and you know, I lived in Phoenix. And, man, when did we meet? 2013?
Speaker 4:Yeah, roughly around that time.
Speaker 1:I've been knowing B for almost 10 years and we actually used to be training partners. When I was a professional in the track and field rim and he was, I think you were either on a break or you was just about to finish up with school. You played football, right? Tell them. Tell them a little bit about yourself.
Speaker 4:Yeah, so yeah, when I met Keenan then I was actually playing Chuko football here, so I was at Mesa Community College and then I think it was coming after a season where, like I tore my ACL and I was like rehabbing in. I was like eight or nine months out and I was like in this weird in between where I was just trying to stay in shape, man. And then that's when I ran into the same training coach that Keenan had man, and then just working on staying in shape, and then sooner or later man got back in the football world and finished playing my college football out at a small school in Oklahoma.
Speaker 1:I'll say, hey, man, you still went and you still got your free education. And that's what I try to tell student athletes today man, that's the most important thing. Not everybody's going to go to the league. I'm of the mindset Like, wherever you go, I think you know the coaches will find you. You know talent will speak for itself. Now I understand there's, you know, I guess, bigger schools and more looks everywhere. But you know, just being in that world, man, talk to me, you know a sec about how you know you balance being away from school, going from Phoenix to Oklahoma, what was it like? I've been to Oklahoma. We had NCAA regionals at the University of Oklahoma in Norman and I don't know I couldn't get a feel. I was like, damn, I feel like racism is around the corner, but I'm not seeing it. So like what was your experience there?
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, just you know man, you know you're a former student athlete. I'm a, you know, former student athlete. Just just, just you know, for one man I'm thankful for it, Like all the you know, just like all the adversity that you know, you, you have that comes with with being that man. I've, you know, I've toured both my ACLs, one time in high school, one time in college. You know I bounced around from colleges, you know, and then sooner or later landed in Oklahoma, but, yeah, the coach in Oklahoma. So I was in the panhandle.
Speaker 1:Yeah, up there by like leveling and Lubbock right.
Speaker 4:Yeah, man, so they call it no man's land, like it's it's. It was a culture shock for me. Moving from Phoenix at the time was was like the fifth largest city you know in America to this town of 1300 people. The town was, it was cool, people were friendly.
Speaker 4:Honestly, man, this, this, moving out there, it was the first time where I actually felt my color, and the reason why I say that is because, living in Phoenix, I never got pulled over right, like, driving, like, and I'm, you know, and I'm, I'm from the part of South Phoenix where you know I'm riding with the friends with the tenant windows who are doing, like you know, illegal activities here and there. So they were in the streets, I really wasn't, but I'm, I'm riding with them. But out there, man, it's like. I was out there for two years. I probably got pulled over about six times and going out there I'd never had any issues with police. But I really started to feel my color. Man, I was kind of like really on ease and was getting just pulled over a lot.
Speaker 4:I guess the main interstate where my school was it was like a popular drug trafficking interstate, the 54. So you'll be one mile over the speed limit or 10 at windows, or you just look suspicious and it'll just pull you over for everything, man. But besides that type of culture, it was cool for the most part, it's real laid back. You gotta be a person who I was a little bit older when I went out there so I didn't really care to party or anything like that. So I was really I was at the old head on the team, so it was laid back. It was really not much to do out there at all, man. It was a culture shock.
Speaker 1:No, I get it. So my freshman year I went to a Juco as well and same thing, bro, like it was getting pulled over. And then when I transferred, I ended up going to CAC. My sophomore year was it was a lot different. You know, that's in the middle of the desert, so but the first school I went to before you know, going to A&M in Kentucky it was a small school called Ren Lake in Southern Illinois. I've been pulled over numerous of times and one time they pulled me out the car, pulled a gun to my head. I had to make myself human. At that point I'm literally screaming out like I go to Ren Lake. I'm a track athlete there. I just won a national championship. Look at the bumper sticker. Here's my student ID. I'm like pleading with these you know what I'm saying these cops not to kill me. So I get it, man, I went through that myself.
Speaker 1:Man, a lot of people don't know what it's like, like you know, just going away to school, kind of in no man's land If you're not going to one of those big power five schools, because I could tell you when I went to A&M in Kentucky you know I ended up graduating from if I had on anything sports related, oh, I was signing autographs Like I was in, like they didn't bother me.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying and it sucks, you got to live that way, but you know it is what it is. So you there in Oklahoma, you playing football, did you have like aspirations I'm sure you did of you know, going to the league or trying to, you know, go to the US? Was it USFL or the Canadian League? Yeah, canadian League.
Speaker 4:Yeah, man, you know, I did, man, ever since, like high school. You know, like my passion, like I love playing football, right, like I loved it. You know, anything from high school to college. If you asked me what I was going to do for my career, I'm like, oh, you know, I'm making it to the league, you know. But it's reality is, man, every senior in high school, only 1% makes it right. But, you know, coming towards the end of my senior season, you know our squad wasn't that good. I had a decent season. I played receiver. It's like right, like right.
Speaker 4:When my season ended, to be honest, like, like the, I can honestly say like I got football out of my system where, you know, I was kind of on the fence. There was like some like some pro days and stuff I could have hit up. But honestly, man, at this age, like just getting my degree, I'm just like man, I'm kind of tired of the grind, I'm tired of being broke. I'm just like you know, I'm actually at this part of my life where I am actually A-OK to close this chapter and then start writing another chapter, and just the thought of like starting a new chapter was like so exciting and I can honestly say, man, like I can, I can like legit, close this chapter of my life of playing football and move on, which I know for a lot of people, man, when they got to close that chapter, it's really hard for them.
Speaker 1:Boy, you ain't never alive. I kind of went through that. You know, even after leaving Phoenix I bet it on myself. So I end up, when I left Phoenix, I moved to Houston and I just trained myself and ended up signing a small sponsorship deal with Adidas and a few dream companies. But I kind of got to the point where I'm like damn, like okay, I'm at Jamaica, I'm at Bermuda, it's cool, but it's like damn, I need some money, bro, cause track is a poor man's sport. You know, you don't really. There's a difference between endorsements and sponsorships. I was sponsored, you know. I didn't have any paid endorsements, except when I appeared at out of town track meets. You know where I would get a little bit of money, but for the most part I'm coming out of pocket. You know that.
Speaker 1:You know they would pay for my traveling things, but I was like you know, I think I want to focus on, you know, just kind of getting into the corporate world. So you know I decided to do that. So when you got the football out, your system and whatnot, that's when you started teaching, cause you are a teacher now of many grades.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, yeah, man. So yeah, 2017 graduated in May, came back to Phoenix, went back to mom's house cause I ain't got nowhere to go but, yeah, I did that before.
Speaker 4:Yo, but yeah, man, probably, like you know, like when I was in college, man, like, far as, like my degree, like, besides wanting to play professional, you know, like make it to the league. Like I did want to be like a physical therapist for the longest, especially having, you know, like, I taught my ACL I'm a senior high school then I taught my ACL my sophomore year. So, like being that environment and I was always like a fan of like human anatomy and like physical training and getting better and just being in the physical therapy space was like, oh okay, like this is really cool. So I graduated and it sounded good.
Speaker 4:I'm not gonna lie, man, I was a guy like one semester I'm doing great in my classes, one semester I'm doing bad, doing great, doing bad, to be honest, man. But so when I graduated it was like a really big uphill to get into PT school and I knew on my heart I didn't really want to go back to school like that. Like I was doing like an internship here at a place called Fisher Sports Institute, where the guy he's like the head trainer for the Arizona Cardinals. So I was over there, yeah, so you have, like DeRil Revis in there, rehab in Donovan McNabb.
Speaker 2:I was in Kaepernick up there one time.
Speaker 4:Yeah, man, it'd be deep up in there.
Speaker 4:But you know, man, for me I was just like I knew on my heart, like, okay, dude, like I don't want to do physical therapy.
Speaker 4:And then at the time I was a teacher assistant at a charter school for special education and, to be honest, before I moved back out here, I had like a burning desire to like pour into the youth, but not just the youth, but like the South side.
Speaker 4:So like my community and man got it. Like I'm in the school system, I've always been great interacting with kids and to me, man, like in that first year or two, it really like dawned on me like man, I could be more impactful, like interacting with a kid on a daily basis for like a hundred and eighty days in a school year, compared to Me making it to the league and they probably just seen me on TV and I might show up once a year to a school. So it's like For me, like once I felt that impact and and you know people will be like man, these kids are bad behaviors. This is then the third dude I realized, like if you go in there with a good heart, bro, like like you got your heart for the kids man. I seen kids change and I was just like, wow bro, I really do believe this is my calling man.
Speaker 1:That's what's up, man. It's crazy. Our lives are kind of linear because I'm older than B and I kind of took the same steps that he took. I was a teacher here. I started out as a paraprofessional when I graduated from UK. I didn't have a plan and it was back. It was back to mom's house. I was like, damn, why did I? Why didn't I get my LinkedIn created? Why did not go meet with a career advisor? Wow, I felt like. I Felt like if I had a mentor to tell me this is something you need to do Instead of you might want to do this, because I think in our community, especially as black men, when you're an athlete, you feel invincible and then when it's gone.
Speaker 2:It's gone you know.
Speaker 1:So like it's crazy that our lives are like that man and you've been doing it, and doing it at a high level, and you are, you are? You just changed high schools, right?
Speaker 4:Yeah, man. So what? First, like this is my seventh year Working in a school, first year teacher assistant. And then I did five years of middle school, like six through eight, just doing science. And then, yeah, last year I left my seventh and eighth graders and then now I am at South Mellon High School over here and Things, arizona. Yeah, so I got the the freshmen now doing science with them, man, but I was always the goal to of like want to do middle school for a couple years and then I knew eventually I was like I want to get to high school. You know, work with the older kids, yeah that's what's up, man.
Speaker 1:I feel like you. I can't speak for you, but I know for me Teaching what's a feeling, but y'all get paid a lot more money than what we got paid in Indiana To be a so Glad I'm glad you ended. Man, if I ever thought about getting back into teaching, I probably had to go to Texas or Arizona. I don't know how.
Speaker 1:California pays our teachers, but, man, that's what's up, man. So, man, just you know you doing all of that and then you were coaching, so everything in your life is centered, I would say, within the community and helping you know, and then, and I guess, trying to advance the generation that is going to proceed, us, which is like super admirable, especially as a, as a young black man. Which brings me to my next question, since you are doing all of these positive things, mind you be was a Very instrumental in the church man Make. May God rest your uncle soul man. I, you hit me to the church and it was incredible hearing on preach cuz I felt like a lot of times he was preaching to me and you held down a lot of positions. You were in the media, didn't you play instrument there as well?
Speaker 4:Yeah, man. So, yeah, when I came, when I moved back out here, man, I was kind of church hopping here and there, but then I ended up settling back on like my home church that I grew up, you know, grew up there as a kid and um, you know, yeah, I got rest his soul man, his name is a Reginald Trotter, so my uncle at the time he was the head pastor there and, um, he had a vision for the church. Man, he was really big on healing and deliverance and IQ was really big on like he could really break down, scripturing, teach. So that kind of like gravitated me towards back, towards there and, um, I was like, alright man, you know, like I'm down to help, you know, take it to the next level.
Speaker 4:And 2018, man, you know me, I love music, man. I love, like old-school R&B Marvin Gaye, stevie Wonder and I was for me, man, when I listen to music, I always hear the bass, like I always hear the bass and you know, I want to learn an instrument. I do believe your mind is a muscle, like I do believe your brain is a muscle and you got to work it right. So I knew I was like, alright man, like I want to get an instrument and I want to work. You know, just Just shut, you know, keep my brain sharp. So I was struggling on what to get and I thought about it. I'm like, bro, you, you, you always hear the bass line and all these songs, like, get a base. So I got a base back in 2018, had no clue what I was doing.
Speaker 4:A lot of YouTube, a lot of just messing around. And then, uh, yeah, from like 2018 or like 2022, man, I would like to sit with my praise and worship team just back there in the back, all quiet, and then, over time, man, just do it up confidence, start learning songs and, yeah, man, so I was playing the bass guitar for my church and then I ran the social media there. So, like I was, I'll stream. I'll stream, you know, stream the live every Sunday and then, occasionally, I'll take some of his messages and chop up and make like a like a real interactive video. You know, like a little two-minute Highlight and um, but, yeah, man, I was, I was enjoying it. Man, work were a lot of hats for sure though.
Speaker 1:So were you self-taught on the base. Yeah, so that's crazy.
Speaker 1:Remember that, my goodness. So, man, it's crazy that, uh, like you wore all of those hats and you know, like I was saying when you was in school, or or any athlete or any student, any any human, yeah, that's scripture base for me, you know, was that proverbs 18, 16 a man's gift will make room for him and and bring him before great men. So, like you had no idea you was gonna end up here, but you know, you just kept pushing and following your heart and then bam, next thing, you know, god is opening doors and man, it's just incredible that you do all all of these things and and in this world is weird, because what people don't know is my boy B is, you know he's, he's a great dude, but he's having trouble in the female department.
Speaker 1:I think women don't understand that it's tough dating out here for good dudes as well, just as tough as it is for women. It's, I don't know, I would say a little more tough it's. I think it's tough earth to be a man of substance and try to date. You know, a woman in this Instagram microwavable culture that we have, because you take a person like yourself that got all these good things and pretty much does things that you know are moving you forward, moving you vertical, not horizontal by any means. So Talk to me about that struggle, because I know we have our own conversations when we talk, but I don't want to divulge any information you don't want me to bring up, so I'll let you, you know, saying talk about just like your experience and what it's like out here.
Speaker 4:Yeah, man, so the yeah, the yeah, the dating scene, yeah, so you know, you know people listen, like I'm a person who, Like for me, you know, like I do want marriage, you know I do Want to have a family and you know and and straight up, do do all those things. But yeah, the dating scene is, it's a grind man, it's a grind it's. It's it's moments of like it sounds not, or I guess I'll just be from the heart man. It's moments where, like, I'll be like envy. It like little moments of like envy.
Speaker 4:It's like damn bro, like how did you find that person? Or you know somebody said love that first side. I'm like bro, I'm all like my, like my 40th date bro, like when does that happen? Like Jesus, like, but it's, it's a grind man, it's. Uh, you know man, and I appreciate you for for pain me in that light, but you know I don't want. You know I'll fly, I'll fly. Yeah, I got my issues and stuff to hang on here that out, but yeah, but your issues ain't like like you don't smoke heroin.
Speaker 1:You know saying or you don't shoot heroin up, you know. You know you're not, you don't have kids, you don't have baby mama drama. You know, I believe your issues are minimal compared to what it seems like the women that we like put up with. You know so. But you know, to each his own, I'll let you speak on it, you know. Then I got a couple more follow-up questions.
Speaker 4:Okay, yeah, but yeah. But just to answer your question about the dating scene, or just just like the experience of being single and trying to date out here, you know, man, sometimes I'll meet like the occasional woman who you know she's still not over, like her ex, or she might be like waiting For somebody that she, you know, used to be with. I've experienced, um, Like women who are like not the best communicators, I would say, and you know me as a man, like I'll, I'll, I'm a hundred percent down to like initiate and you know and you know do stuff like that, Um, man, that's probably like the two biggest ones, man, a little bit of like inconsistency to hearing out there, man, Um, but I guess you know, I guess for me too, man, you know I'm, you know like I'm sure I've been having like a relationship with God, like you know I'm.
Speaker 1:Pause, pause for a second. Does that, does that drive some women away? Because I know, when I first moved to San Diego and I got into the dating scene, um, I think a lot of women thought that I would say things because they sound good and they would accept it because they were not as serious about God as I was. I go to church, I go to Bible study, I do Bible plans. You know I pray and meditate every morning, but I feel like a lot of women were like kind of turned off by that. I told you about the girl that got mad when I prayed over the food and that was the stuff that I was running into. So, like in Phoenix, have you, have you ran into that? That women, you know, call you holy roly or religious.
Speaker 4:Uh, nothing in that regards. Um, you know, I probably met women who you know, like I. You know, I believe in God and they don't. So I guess, kind of like naturally, I guess we just weren't clicking, but we'll go our separate ways.
Speaker 4:Yeah, that would all work, yeah, but I have met women who, like they, believe, I believe, and I've actually met women who, like they found that like attractive or you know, they thought it was cool. Um, that I'm that way. I think. For me, I guess the biggest thing is just like, uh, I guess I just got to get like in the right space or just keep, just keep shooting these shots too, man.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah, hey man, I think I tweeted this like keep shooting them shots.
Speaker 1:Eventually one is going to go in and you know I mean you know what I done, been through and all of that stuff and where I'm at now I never would have thought, you know, a few months ago. We getting ready to celebrate a year right around your birthday, cause, you know, it's just coming up. So it's just interesting that we seem to deal with all of the same things in some shape, form or fashion, and it doesn't matter what your location is, because what you're dealing with is in Phoenix, is what I dealt with here in San Diego, and then what you know, what we're dealing with, is what you know one of my homeboys is dealing with in Houston and DC, back home in Indianapolis, like it's, it's, it's all over, and I feel like we are at war right now with each other as far as men and women, black men and black women, and if everybody just stopped yelling at each other, it will see that we are asking for the same thing. Like, what's your thoughts on that?
Speaker 4:Yeah, I think it's um, when you say at war, yes, like man, like you do see it in our society now, where there's like this big discrepancy or like this big issue of like, like, like, what is the man's role, like, what is like the woman's role? And I think, I think the biggest issue man is like it's too much like individualism, like it's like realistically like, okay, well, one, I guess, if you want marriage, right, or like say, if I want marriage, say if this young lady wants marriage, like at some point, if we both understand the end goal, because marriage is a union, like, like, like we become one, like they call it like yoking up, like I don't know what type of bison there are, but like the bison that we do in the field work, like the wooden contraction is called a yoke and it's like like we gotta, we gotta agree to go in the same direction. But I truly do believe man, like if both people are dating, or you know you're, you know you're about to want this person to be your fiancee in marriage, I guess just the ex student athlete in me Like, I think for me, if you have like the mindset of like teamwork, yes, right, I believe both people will be fine. Like for me, I'm a teacher, so I have a lot of downtime. So like if my wife had a kid and she's at work and it's like summertime and I'm just with the kid more than she is like bro, I'm cool with that. Like I can cook If I'm cooking more meals than she is like I'm cool with that.
Speaker 4:It's like I just think that there's like too much individualism. I think sometimes there's probably like too much of like for men and women we have like these unrealistic expectations on how much just freshness to make and her body got to be a 10 out of 10. I just think it's so unrealistic. And I do believe too, time will tell because if you're somebody out there and you have like these unrealistic expectations, guess what You're just going to be by yourself for the next 10, 15, 20, 30 years until you realize like, oh, bro, you might got to adjust it just a little bit. That's a fact. I'm not saying have. I'm not saying have like a standard of, like this dude is going to be beating. You know, can I cut? I don't want to cut, just be.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you can cut. I'm not cussing this shit all the time. Just be mindful if you try to run for office, you know, later on in life I'll delete. You know anything salacious, but no you know I'll edit it out.
Speaker 4:No, you know, like real woman you have like a low standard on like a guy, just like beating your ass every night, or I'm not saying don't, don't do that. Like you know, have a standard. But I just think that the issue in a society that for men and women some men and women we are standards are like way too unrealistic. And then to there's no like concept of like hey, if I'm gonna be with this person, it should be teamwork. Like for me, like people, people like I have to ask myself a question like yes, like as a single man, I can get a lot done. Like I can elevate my job, I can travel, I want to do real estate. Like I can, I can knock out, I can do a lot by myself.
Speaker 4:But for me I want to find the right woman for me because I know she's going to add value to my life and like whatever I'm trying to do is going to double or triple that. And then, like whatever she's trying to do, like I want to point to her to help her become a better version of herself, like whatever it is. Like you know what I mean. So that's like my intent, you know, with my wife is like I want to yoke up with you so we can add value to each other's life and elevate and take it to a whole another level. But I'll probably say that, but I guess just answer your question though. Like to me the big issue is just too much individualism, bro. Like you got to just have that, like that teamwork mentality, and I think both parties will be fine and not in communication too. That's a fact, bro. You just dropped the gym.
Speaker 1:You got to hit you with a magic wand or you know. The individualistic attitude is we're ruining my marriage. I felt like I was, and not putting blame on, you know, me or her, but for the majority of my marriage, I felt like the person that I was married to did not want to make me a part of her success. And although, yes, you are, you know doing your thing, I can help as well, because it's not like I'm just sitting here. You know being a bum, you know like.
Speaker 1:I was accomplished very accomplished before I met you. Some of the things that you're trying to acquire, I've already acquired. Acquired them, so you know not not including your partner in that it could really make. It can make you feel isolated, and I feel like the most dangerous place in this world for a man to be is alone in his own thoughts, because that's where insecurity grows.
Speaker 1:That's where our imagination takes place and takes us to a place that we don't need to be. You know what I'm saying. So I think you hit it right on the head with the individualism man. It's crazy. Also, I feel like there's a lot of I don't know the name of these two communities, but there's a Kevin Samuel's community for guys and then for women there's like I don't know who their spokesperson would be. Like I'm independent, I don't need no man. Like I just give me the D and. But those two communities are at war and they constantly get highlighted, highlighted and we don't see the good stuff. Because you sent me this clip and I'm gonna play it about a man that was at dinner and he didn't want to pay for the girl's friends, you know. So let me. Let me play that real quick. I'm sorry, you're the only man at this table.
Speaker 2:Why are we doing separate?
Speaker 1:texts it's all women here.
Speaker 2:I'm not responsible for paying everybody.
Speaker 1:I got the birthday girl.
Speaker 2:You invited all of us. I didn't invite you. I'm a senior writer. Okay, I'm responsible for who I brought. Okay, you're the only man in the page. I'm sorry, hold on. We was all doing rush and roulette, paying for credit cards, and all that Now that you want to split check we do a split check.
Speaker 1:Now it's 2021.
Speaker 2:Yeah, wait same for different. But I didn't sign up for that Okay. There's nobody on the door.
Speaker 1:I know.
Speaker 2:Wait a minute. Yeah, hold on. This is my birthday for real Okay. I didn't get it.
Speaker 1:Wait a minute, we're not doing this what you said is it's so much you don't pay for a fee.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, yes.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, no, I don't care, I don't care how you are doing.
Speaker 2:I didn't order anything. I'm sorry, I didn't order anything. I'm sorry, I didn't order anything. But you always pay like you're the only man at the table. You don't pay the taxes. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not paying the whole thing it's $100 for this whole table and it's my birthday this is your pocket.
Speaker 1:This is your pocket. It's only $700.
Speaker 2:It's only $10.
Speaker 1:Are you kidding me? Are you honestly?
Speaker 2:being cheap right now. Okay, first, no, if that was the case, I would have done it.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right. Now that is wild, because I didn't listen to the clip in full. Did I hear her correctly? I should have played it through my laptop because it's kind of muffled on the phone, but did I hear? $700 is not that much? Like what the hell? So when you sent me this, I was like this is interesting, so go ahead, man, I'll let you shoot first. What's your thoughts on this?
Speaker 4:Man, it's off.
Speaker 4:I think for me, man, the first thing that just rubbed me the wrong way was just like the entitlement of like, just like the mentality of like, since you're a man, like, you're supposed to pay for this, which you know.
Speaker 4:Obviously, if you're a guy out there and you want to court, you know and do you know that's a nice gesture, don't get me wrong, but you know, from my understanding, you know he's there with his lady, right, it's her birthday. I don't know if that's his wife, yonsei, or girlfriend, I don't know what, you know where they're at, but you know he's like hey, I'm gonna pay for myself, I'm gonna pay for her, and it's like. You know, man, that's that's really like my only responsibilities and my thing is me in that situation, if I'm like super wealthy or super well off and I'm capable of paying for the table, like, just the simple fact, with that attitude and entitlement, would just have turned me all the way off Like yo, even if I'm in the position to do it, I don't want to do it now, cause y'all just turned me off.
Speaker 1:I agree, man. And then to take it a step further if it was a parent or a sibling, okay, cool, I get it. Um, you know, I'll pay for dinner for his family, but these are friends. And my question is how, how intricate and instrumental are the friends and keeping these people together, cause was it his wife or his fiance?
Speaker 4:That's the part I don't know. I don't know how deep they were. That's the only thing I don't know. Yeah.
Speaker 1:So I'm like, okay, if you just a friend and, like I, barely have any interactions with you, then yeah, no, I'm not paying for you. But if you, if you, if you are, if you were in the wedding but also you're in the marriage, you check on us both, you give us unbiased opinions and advice and you are there for us, cool, I'll pay for dinner for you. But if you just a motherfucker that's just there to eat, you know what I'm saying, but you don't play no part in this marriage. Like no part. You don't give him no advice. I'm sorry, man, you better eat them appetizers and shut the hell up. I'm not paying for shit. Like no, no, man, I can't do it. Man, like, this is crazy. This is crazy that we are seeing stuff like this in real time. It might have been a squid, a squid, a skit. It was an old clip, you know. I heard them mentioned 2021, but man, I don't know, this is crazy. And then you got people warring in the comments, going at each other, like if you broke, just say that.
Speaker 4:Like how many? How many? How many people? How many people was there in total? It was like 64 there, seven.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was like seven.
Speaker 4:Seven, I'm over. Did they say how much it was? It was like 700 on the data, 700 from chains.
Speaker 1:I'm not sure she said it's only $700. Let me see if I can, I'm gonna pull it back up and look at it. So I count one there's a baby, so that's two, one, two, three, four, five, that was six. Then his woman, she had five friends and, yeah, including his. So he has his child and his woman, and then I guess she got five of her girlfriends there. Yeah, I'm cool, I'm not come on dawg, that's.
Speaker 3:You know what I mean that's the starting five? I'm like no.
Speaker 4:Or is that like eight, five friends and then the two, so like seven adults, and I guess not counting kids.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's too much bro, I'm not doing that. I'm sorry, I can't indulge in that type of Tom Fuggery. I'm not doing it Like. This is crazy man and this is one of the many reasons why we are not getting along. I feel blessed because I don't have to entertain those conversations because I have a woman in my life.
Speaker 1:But I it went too long ago when I was out here, serial dating, not being picky and choosy, which I probably should have did that because I ran into a lot of women that I probably would just walk past, not by looks, but just by a sheer nature of just like they have a rotten course. You know what I'm saying. Like I can tell from one conversation we not like you don't even look at me as a human, from a humanistic standpoint. You can't even be respectful in the first conversation. You know what I'm saying. You look at me for a meal or object. You know what I'm saying. Like I didn't. I don't know, man, it's weird out here at this time. So I feel for you, dawg. I feel for you Cause, but if I can offer you any advice, dawg, take your time, what you have been doing, but be super picky not obnoxious.
Speaker 1:But you know, just be picky in what you choose into entertain, because they could drain you. Trust me, I was. I was at a point where I was like all right, um, white women, uh, we all like.
Speaker 1:Latino women. I've never, I've never dated outside my race. You know I was looking at Filipino women that are big on the West coast, Um, but you know I got to that, that weak moment, but, man, I just had to really just pray, man, and that's why I think it's hard. It's even harder for guys like you and I, because we have a spiritual foundation and for us to go against that is very tough, and because we don't go against that, we already eliminate a whole flock and pool of women that are not into what we're into when it comes to a spiritual realm. Because, also, what happens in that popular culture is like I remember, uh, going to a gym, I remember going on a date with a woman and she, she thought that energy outweighed prayer. She thought beads and rocks outweighed the Bible and I just could not get with that. I couldn't get with it at all. Man, you ever ran into that?
Speaker 4:Yeah, Uh I have, um, just being single, being out, kind of like mingling. Um, you know, young lady caught my eye. You know we're talking and you know, and I don't know how we got on that topic, you know and I and no judgment, you know what I mean, I'm not into that stuff and I'm a. I'm a person I really do seek understanding first. So like I just let people talk and I'm just trying to like really understand and and see where you're coming from. But yeah, she was like breaking down all the rocks and stuff to me and I was just kind of like okay, like I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to understand where you're coming from. Like, you know, I don't I don't really care to dive into it Um, that or like something with the cards and and all that other stuff. Yeah, yeah. Tara cards.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she was trying to read your palm and stuff and I ain't doing that. I'm not opening a portal to my like, my sacred spirituality for you to toy with, like there ain't nothing you can tell me that I don't already know about myself because, truthfully, we all know our demons that we struggle with daily. Yeah, it's just trying to, you know, climb out of that man.
Speaker 1:But it's it's a weird time, dog, even in the church. Church ain't full like it used to be. I think, um, the, I think, how can I word this? I think we are populated by a like insurmountable amount of people that live a life as if God isn't necessary but want all of the grace, glory and and just satisfaction of prayer, fasting, all the blessings that that discipline lifestyle brings. Oh yeah, and we? It's, it's, it's cause. It's like how can I put like okay, I say this all the time, if, if I asked God for a cake and he gave me a mixing bowl, two eggs, sugar, flour, all the ingredients, it's still a cake. But you, you have to put the work in, you know I'm saying to accrue or achieve those blessings. You know what I mean. It's still a blessing.
Speaker 1:I think we are in the world right now where you want to live a life as if God isn't necessary but want to call on him when you you see fit. You know what I'm saying. You want to create a storm and get mad when you ain't got an umbrella. It just doesn't make sense to me. You know what I'm saying and I think it's parallel with the dating life. You know, it's just. You know James 226 faith without works is dead. Yeah, I think we are in a give up culture. Nobody wants to put in the work. I'm not going to crucify my woman from one argument. You know what I'm saying. I'm not just going to let that go and I felt like I've.
Speaker 1:I've run into that in my dating life you know, misjudging some situations by women, and they're so quick to call the narcissist word when they don't even know the definition of it. You know, it didn't. On the flip side, I know a lot of guys that do the same thing, you know. But I feel like if we all just stop yelling at each other, we're literally fighting for the same thing. We just gotta be a little more patient, man. What say you?
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, yeah, with the, you know, with the, with the church boy, you know, I guess, yeah, like. You know, you made the statement of like you know God will give you everything you need, like all the ingredients. To. You know, like, make the cake. And the people you know like they want to associate with God, but it's almost like they don't want to put the work in but they want all the grace and the rewards man you know. To that, to that one I'll just say you know, like, like, like any relationship you know, like what you put in is what you get out.
Speaker 4:So it's like you know like the same thing with God, right, right, it's. You know, every day, if you get like tap into some prayer, tap into your word, and it's like a like, if you have a current good relationship with like a parent or a co-worker or Like a friend I know me, you were talking about this yesterday like, like, if you have somebody in your life who's a good friend, you you share, you know your life with that person and that person shares their life with you. So it's, it's the same thing with God. You know, and I mean in the morning, night, you just tap in. You know If things are going good, they're going good. If they're going bad, you know you, you still tap in right and you know you still give them a praise and the glory right. And you know, man, if you, if you work on having a great relationship with God, I promise you, man, you'll treat treat other people different. Um, that's a fact.
Speaker 4:Yeah, you, you're a tree, other people cuz I can't. I can't say that I love God, but then I treat you bad.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, contradicting bro, that goes, that goes across the board. In life I can't say I love God but Treat a certain group of people a certain way because of the color of their skin, or their male or their female, you know, or they different pronouns and such. I don't want to get into that because I don't know what to call wet. So I'm just gonna say I love everybody and I respect everybody. But I think you know the root of the issue is love.
Speaker 1:You know it's it's a God pay it's it's it's unconditional love and biblically, love conquers all. You know, and I think in relationships, love is the ability to see yourself and your partner, whoever you like. If you're seriously dating, if you're intentionally dating, if you're married, if you're engaged, you have to continually see yourself in that person. Not only that you need to see. I think black man should take it a step further. You need to see your sister and the woman you dealing with. You need to see your mother. Yeah, I'm the favorite, you know, grandparent. You need to you.
Speaker 1:If you think like that, I think we'll avoid a lot of situations If, if you have a good relationship with those women in your life, it did vice versa for women, you know, see your father in the man that you're dating, your present father, whether that's by biological or, you know, by relationship. So Love conquers all man and I hope we get to a place where it's, you know, black love is celebrated and not Invious or tolerated, because I think that's where we are right now. Dog man wrapping it up. What's what's next for you? Dog, like what's what's out here? It was what's going on. I know you still out here Searching and praying for God to bless you with the woman that fit your life. But what about teaching? Cuz you got some years in now you're gonna keep going and get that retirement pension.
Speaker 4:Yeah, man, uh, you know, last couple months, man, I kind of been going back and forth of like, do I, do I want to dive into administration, you know, being like a principal or like a D Ooh or something like that, I know man. It's one of those things, man, like a move like that, like my heart has to be in it, because if my heart's not in it, it's like you know it's, I'm not gonna give it my full effort if that makes sense. No, it does, and then the kids will suffer.
Speaker 4:Yeah, you know what I mean, and especially in the had been row, cuz it's like, really, you really working with adults at this point. You know, miss, miss Johnson, how come you'll, you, you'll stand, there's ain't on the board. What's going on is like you working with adults at this point. So, um, so I've been kind of playing that, you know, this year, man, I'm still, I'm still working on some financial stuff. Man, I want to knock out, knock out the rest of this college debt. Hopefully, with the next like like four to six months, I like, you know, like little part-time jobs here and there and then Be as a homeowner.
Speaker 1:by the way, yes, he's not a bum out here, he's very accomplished.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I appreciate you. Oh yeah, man, and I'm yeah with my condo that I got back in 2020, man, I do want to Eventually rent it out and go get another spot, man. So just slowly Planning these seeds, man, with the buy-and-hold real estate. It's a it's a long-term game, but I'm trying to just make sure that, like my daily habits are, you know, going towards that. But yeah, man, basically like my long-term goal, in the next 15 years, man, have about 1220, honestly try to get a property every year, man.
Speaker 4:I don't, I ain't got my first one yet, but but yeah, we working on it, man. That's what's only working on it.
Speaker 1:That's what's up. Brandon Trotter, ladies and gentlemen, he got a 15 year plan and it's Pretty incredible. You got me needing to get my ass together, man, oh damn, I need a 15 year plan. Give the people your, your socials, and where could they find you on things of that?
Speaker 4:All right, so maybe just on Instagram. So it's Trotter, so t r o t t e r underscore To bless. Trotter. Yeah, Trotter underscore to bless.
Speaker 1:That's what's up. Man Y'all like share, subscribe. Man Go follow, be actually no, before we go, man, I gotta, I gotta tell a story. Don't get my theme music.
Speaker 1:Only a theme music ready man. So Two years ago it's my birthday fellas came to town. Be Trotter was one of them. It's my boy, eli, pierre, and kid the other, brandon and myself Great time and had to see my guys in a while. It was great. We went to this black party. I Think it'd be no where I'm going with this. We went to this black party was amazing. The vibes was the vibes was heavy, vibes was epic. You know I'm chilling. I'm already. You know I'm pretty pretty drunk. I would say it's my birthday. So I'm just chilling, you know, and I go out. I don't do a lot of moving on to a lot of dance and I don't do a lot of shaking, I'll just chill. I Out the corner of my eye, we have split up Trot.
Speaker 1:Be Trot is across Now. You was in front of us, he was, he was, you know, kind of across the way. So he is in to it with this girl. I mean dancing Uncontrollably like he was. He was a DM, a dancing machine, like he was having a great time. Out the corner of my right eye I see a Woman. I Don't know what her pronouns are, but she's of the LBGTQ I a plus community. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that this woman was the masculine of the feminine and the way she was looking at be tried. She was going to kill him and us. We had to go save my boy because we were gonna die that night for dancing with I Don't know what to call her, but her woman. I'll never forget that for the rest of my days. I'm telling it at be trot's wedding and Thank you, thank you, be tried, for almost getting us killed that night. I appreciate it, dog. She was about to kill us now.
Speaker 4:Yo, it'd be like man, will you be in a different city? Dog, you be acting different man, obviously.
Speaker 1:I'll say this guy's about to die over that girl. She was cool, though, you know I can see. I don't. I think her woman didn't like the way that y'all was gazing into each other's eyes. So, oh Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyways, man, that's another edition of the accidentally no-purpose podcast man like share, subscribe. We're available everywhere on all platforms and and follow be tried. He has a lot going on. And what else I got? You got any announcements, anything you need to plug, anything like that.
Speaker 4:Man, nothing man, y'all just. You know appreciate y'all for tapping in. You know definitely keep spreading this man's podcast, man, I really do believe he's doing great work.
Speaker 4:Um it's uh, and it's one of those things y'all I feel like in our world there's so much like people who have like podcasts, who have a voice that's like so negative and they're just adding like so much negativity into the world and then like, but on this platform, you know, I think it's a space that you can come get the bird, get the male perspective, have a good time, kind of understand us a little bit better. And you know, actually, you know, I see, like you know you leave here, you get actually take something away from it right like something actually positive, you know man, that's what I try to do, man.
Speaker 1:You know the, the model of the pod is. We just explore the intricacies of life, love and growth through the candid conversations and thought-provoking topics. Man, we just try to live life intentionally, even when life seems accidental, hence the name accidentally, on purpose. So y'all know what I say, man put value in each other so we can put value in the society. Um, and I'm sorry I just messed that quote all the way up, put value in yourself so we could put value in each other. Then we can have a value society and respect each other On all levels. Until then, I got nothing left to say. Be, I'm gonna call you after this so you can tell me what to keep. It would not to keep. I appreciate you, my brother. Y'all go follow them. That's beat, was it? Trotter? Underscore two blessed.
Speaker 3:Yeah, try to underscore to bless All right, all right, y'all peace.